#hes so boyfriend donr care

[adoreliv]

brad renfro ۶ৎ

[ebbaskz]

escapism pt. 1 | c.bc x reader (a,f)

masterlist

pairing : bang chan x reader (y/n)

summary : a drunken night spent out with your friends leads to a half-conscious tumble into the arms of your close friend, chris. now what else is he supposed to do when you come to him in shambles except do his best to put you back together?

content : tears, drunk y/n, bff!chris, idol au, nothing wild yet

word count : 1.3k

"drunk calls, drunk texts, drunk tears, drunk sex

i was looking for a man who was on the same page"

The rough motion of the taxi cab cruising down the crumbling city streets was wild enough to make your stomach feel like flipping inside out.

The streetlights and convenience store signs passed by in a blur, adding to the incredible dizziness that made you want to just close your eyes and sleep it all away.

When fumbling for your phone, being utterly taken aback by the brightness of your screen, you give your friends who you'd been out with a quick incoherent text of where you are, mainly clarifying (or an attempt at least) that you had not been kidnapped.

y/n : guus donr worrry ab me im in s cab too see chruss. hve fun!

Well damn. You thought you could be more literate when drunk out of your mind. I guess not.

This night out had not been planned, but a sudden break-up with your boyfriend easily cleared you and your friends' schedules for a needed "girls' night" (aka getting wasted so you can forget).

You don't really know what prompted your boyfriend, well, ex-boyfriend as of 7 hours ago, to break up with you, but you know damn well that you will not sit there and rot in your apartment.

You and your friends had then come to the conclusion that the best option for tonight's break-up-recovery plans was the clearest option.

Get drunk. Get laid. Think about it later.

Sadly, only part one of this master plan had been played out. You got so sick of the strobing lights and disgusting men at the clubs that you needed to get away from it all, but going back to the apartment you shared with your ex was also not an ideal place to stumble into, not knowing what side hoe he probably chose to bring over in your absence. So, you are now finally pulling up to the apartment of your closest guy friend, Chris, or Chan, as your friend group called him.

The exact rationale for choosing Chris's apartment as your safe place for the night is unknown to you. It might just be because his house was close to the bar, or that none of your other friends were home, or maybe the hope that he would care for you with hugs and cuddles.

Your relationship with Chris is interesting, to say the least. Many bystanders would be likely to think that you two are just mutual friends, but the inner members of your friend group see you two as inseparable when you are all together, acting as the mother and father of your children friends.

You two had some weird romantic tension when you were a few years younger, but after you got into your last relationship, it all seemed to instantly vanish, leaving you two as simply a platonic, dynamic duo. You don't exactly know why it hurt a little to feel that change in Chris' demeanour, but it did in the moment.

Maybe even a little pain still lingers now.

You grab the handful of items you had with you at the bar, including the pair of heels you were wearing that had now been ditched, leaving you barefoot and walking your way up the pavement to the inside of the apartments.

The walk to his front door is easy, only leaving you to stumble a few times when the carpet seemed to be bumped up in a few places, or maybe that was just your feet moving incorrectly. Who knows.

You leave a combination of knocks on his door, continuously knocking, letting it get heavier every time until the door swings open to show a confused Chan, who looks like he has been working on some music project as his headphones are still hung around his neck.

"Y/n? What are you doing here- are you okay?" Chan says at the immediate recognition of you not being a stranger at his door, ushering you inside as he looks over your figure for any signs as to why you are on his doorstep at a quarter till midnight.

"The lights were too bright at the clubs. Just wanna hang out," you manage to get out with no slurs in speech, but a little stumble you have when trying to get past him in hopes of laying on the sofa tells Chan that you are not sober right now.

He puts out his arm quickly to stop you from falling, circling it around your waist to help you safely get into the living room. You feel a burning surge through your body at his innocent touch, but it doesn't feel like the usual drunk heat.

"Just go lay down for a minute, yeah? I'll get you some water," he looks toward you as he talks, settling you into the couch surrounded by a big, comfy blanket. He then waits for you to give some sort of acknowledgement that you heard anything he said, earning a nod from you that makes him crack an endearing smile at how you looked so content, snuggling into the sofa.

You then sit with Chris on the couch after he quickly gets some water from the fridge, neither of you speaking as you take large gulps from the unnecessarily large bottle of water (like, who drinks this much water…)

You feel happy right now. You have everything you need right here. A couch, a blanket, and a Christopher. Except, you get hit with the reminder of your ex-boyfriend, stirring up those uncomfortable emotions that made you decide to drink them away tonight.

Apparently, that drinking away did not work very well, probably making this even worse because you start to cry, your body shaking as the pools of tears drain down your cheeks.

Chris takes immediate notice of the couch shaking beside him, reaching over to keep a tender arm across your shoulders. He hesitantly says, “Honey, what’s wrong? Did something happen tonight with your friends?”

His voice was nothing but comfort as you decided to just tell him everything.

“Chris, he broke up with me.”

Then, his face dropped not exactly to one of sympathy but to some twisted form of relief. Nonetheless, he held you into a tighter hug, letting you cry into his arms while leaving reassuring pats and shushes as you continued.

You finally regain some sort of composure to tell him the rest of the story, explaining how your boyfriend sprung this on you out of nowhere, pulling out the “it’s not you, it’s me” line, utterly tearing your self-esteem down to the lowest point because you know it’s because of you. Because you weren’t good enough, you didn’t show him enough, you didn’t sleep with him enough. The insecure thoughts are the only thing plaguing your mind after his cheap excuse for breaking up with you.

For this, you openly tell Chris in your drunken state, “Why doesn’t he just love me? I don’t understand what I did wrong. Why am I not good enough for him?”

“Stop it, Y/n.”

His suddenly stern voice piques your attention, raising your blotchy face up from where it was implanted into his shoulder. His face is suddenly stoic, a complete contrast from the comforting love he was just showing you. There is still love; it’s just a different kind.

“Do not ever say that about yourself. You are beyond perfect, and your boyfriend is a piece of shit for this. I mean, I have always kind of resented him, but the way he makes you feel like this out of the blue makes me more than angry. You are everything anyone could ask for, and I need you to understand that whatever his decision was, it wasn’t because of you.”

The tears aren’t able to start coming back down before you grab Chan into the strongest hug you can manage, now sobbing into his moistened shirt. The words of affirmation and care flood out of his mouth into your ears, crushing the self-deprecating terrors of before. His own reassurance and love for you outweighs whatever your shitty boyfriend showed you. Chan was the only person you wanted to care for you.

The only person you wanted to love.

But he can’t know that.

a/n : hey guys... sorry for being absolutely MIA for a month. i have been so swamped with work and classes that I lost my entire urge to write, but i am back and better than other. i have been working on this and the second part for it, also creating the full plot line for fangirl. requests are open as always and ily all - eb

[sorencd]

Moony…gosh I love that, that’s adorable🫶🏼

AND AAA HE REALLY SOUNDS LIKE THE TYPE OF GUY TO BE LIKE THE BEST BOYFRIEND EVER?!?!?! I understand how u feel omg I would not be able to look him in the eye either if I were you😭 but atleast he’s showing that he cares. Maybe you should be honest or atleast try to get close to him again like best friends. Maybe hang out more and let him see how good of a person you are. And you’ll never know, he may like you back as well🤭🤭🤭 god hearing about other peoples love life is so interesting to me considering I don’t really have that.

I FINISHED THE ASSIGNMENTS which is super great ugh they were so annoying!! But other than school, I’ve not been doing anything big other than catching up with my hobbies :)

-🌙

I PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY JUST KICKED MY FEET IN THE AIR WHILE READING THAT EHZHEBDB now my head is filled with thoughts of me and him together 😭😭 i'll try talking to him normally again, in the first place the reason why i can't look at him face on is mainly bc he's got this stare 😭😭 i cant describe it but its like this half lidded eye stare and it gets me so weak in the knees ueueusuaeaeeaea

AND ITS GOOD TO HEAR THAT UR DONR WITH UR ASSIGNMENTS!!! U DID GREAT <3 also tell me more abt ur hobbies 😏😏😏

[ajleanon5]

vent post. tw: anxiety, self harm, self depreciation, stressed.

Dont you ever hate the fact that you are perfectly okay sometimes, and then you start to cry? And it could be a number of things causing it. Maybe its the sleep deprivation. Maybe its because you forgot to do your 7 pages of really boring and hard homework again and you have to stay up until 1 am once again. Maybe its because you have 2 jobs now and both of them give you more stress than you can handle even on their own. One has constantly screaming children and having to be a good role model but you cant focus on all the children at once Ari, you need to prioritize and make sure the one kid you were assigned doesntt go running out onto the street. The other has a boss thats intimidating as all fuck and no matter what you do it all seems wrong. you cant give the people what they want because you dont know how to explain to them that your boss told you not to get things from the back this week. And then there are angry parents looking like theyre about to yell at you or cuss you out and you are so terrified of people being mad but you have to suck it up because the customer is always right. Maybe its because you dont know how to tell your mom that you dont know if you can make it on the trip she didnt wwant to take you on last year and now you have to let go of one of your childhood dreams for the sake of earning a wage. Maybe its because youre running out of people to talk to, or they all just dont really care anymore, maybe you feel disheartened about the fatct that you cant visit your best friend when it seems like she really needs a shoulder to lean on, MAYBE its because you dont have the gall to tell said best friend about your new boyfriend becauseyoure scared she’ll be mad or jeleous and you really hate making her upset, she has enough to deal with without having to hear about that dick. A litteral dick because all he seems to have his mind on is your chest or another videogame but you cant brak up because its only been a few weeks and that doesnt seem fair to do to him and yolu hate yourself for being so damn weak and relapsing adddddd thers nothing to be donr about the red lines  anymore and you just reallu hate yourself now its all you can do not to scream and scream because thwe past week has beem nothing but anxiety attacks and shame and being tired and starving yourself again YOU NEED TO FUCKING EAT I DONR CARE IF IT HURTS YOURE A PIECE OF SHIT YOU SHOULDNT HAVE TO EAT YOU SHOULDNT BE FEELING THIS UPSET ISNT THIS WHAT YUOU WANTED??? ISNT HTIS HOW REGULAR PEOPLE LIVE?? DONT YOU WANT TO BE FUCKING NORMAL AGAIN SO YIU CAN GET ONE GAODAMND NIGHT OF SLEEP SO YOU CAN STOP FUCKING SCREAMING AT YOURSELF YOU NEED TO STOP CRYING BEFORE SOMEONE SEES YOU ARI, WIPE YOUR FUCKING TEARS YOU DON TNEED TO CRY YOURE AN ADULT SO FUCKING ACT LIKE IT ALREADY. PUT DOWN THE DAMN COMPUTR AND DO YOUR FUCKING HOMEWORK LIKE A NORMAL PERSON WOULD BECAUSE YOU NEED TO BE NORMAL TO SURVIVE IN THIS GODFORSAKEN HOUSE OR ELSE GO TO THE STREET AND STARVE.