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ljubitelj-sonca · 2 months

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I can see you

Hello! @targarrus drew this absolutely beautiful picture of Nace and Kris (almost) kissing and immediately wrote "i need to write a fic about this" in the tags of my reblog. This is said fic:

Nace and Kris, kinda platonic but they kiss obviously. Also surprisingly angsty, Kris is going through it. 1.8k words, rated T (because they are making out)

(Thanks @guggi04 for beta reading! <3)

The sound of the sink running stopped, but the door to the bathroom stayed closed for much longer than it should take to dry off hands and put back a toothbrush. Long enough that Nace ended up looking up from his phone in confusion when Kris didn't reappear in their hotel room for another solid few minutes.

At some point, the lock did turn and the door did open, and Kris stepped out with his hair towel dry and his face scrubbed raw from the shower. The skin around his eyes seemed extra red though, like he’d been rubbing at them.

Neither of them spoke as Kris padded through the room in only his underwear, carrying things from A to B without any real purpose, that much was obvious to Nace. He watched him anyway, from his position on the bed where he’d been just about ready to go to sleep and had only been waiting for Kris to get done in the bathroom. But it didn’t look like Kris was gonna be ready to sleep anytime soon.

“Kris.”

His head snapped up and towards Nace at impressive speed, like he’d been too distracted to even remember Nace was there, but so vigilant he immediately heard him. That worried Nace even more than his red eyes.

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Kris was quick to respond. He averted his eyes, going back to folding his clothes into his suitcase.

“Stop that,” Nace said, surprising himself with how stern he sounded.

Kris halted immediately, mid-movement. “Stop what?”

“Hiding. Downplaying what’s going on.”

Kris still didn’t look at him. “It’s really nothing.”

“Kris. I can see you.” Nace placed his phone on the nightstand. “I can see that you’re worked up about something.”

Kris opened his mouth to retort, probably to protest, but he just closed it again. It took only a moment longer for his shoulders to slump and his head to drop. A heavy breath shook his torso and it was followed by what sounded almost like a sob, as the shirt fell to the ground unfolded.

Nace’s heart twisted.

“Hey,” he said, reaching out his hand. “Hey, it’s okay. Come here.”

Kris lifted his head just enough to find Nace’s hand and step towards it. He slipped his fingers into Nace’s palm, let him envelop them. Nace tugged gently, getting him to come closer to the bed.

“Nace,” Kris whispered hesitantly.

Nace squeezed his hand. With his other hand he pushed the blanket off his lap. “Come here,” he simply repeated.

Kris seemed to contemplate the offer for a second, but then shuffled closer and climbed onto the bed. Nace helped guide him into his lap until he was sitting with his side pressed against Nace’s bare torso and his legs thrown over Nace’s thigh. Nace let go of Kris’s hand and slipped his arms under his knees and around his back to pull him even closer. Kris let himself be pulled.

With a slow breath out, the usually so tall and confident man melted into Nace’s embrace, dropping his temple onto Nace’s shoulder but otherwise curling fully into himself. He started crying properly now, but much calmer than he probably would have if he were left alone—it felt like Nace’s body was able to absorb some of the tension, some of the despair that had kept Kris running until now.

Nace let cry into the crook of his neck, trailing gentle fingers over the soft skin of his back and pressing soothing words and kisses into his hair. When Kris’s sobs started to die down and his breathing evened out a little, Nace squeezed him.

“Wanna tell me what’s going on?” he asked quietly.

Kris adjusted his head, then shrugged the best he could. “Just a lot, right now. I think.”

He slowly uncurled one of his hands and placed it on Nace’s chest, his palm hot against Nace’s skin, before he began to trace the pattern of his chest hair almost absentmindedly. The touch sent a small shiver through Nace and he tightened his grip on his friend.

“Like—Bojan being sick and not catching a break. Half our luggage missing. Planning the tour. That shitty organiser at the venue today.” Nace hissed in sympathy as well as memory of the guy. Kris’s cheek brushed over Nace’s collar bone. “I can feel Jan slipping again,” he added in a whisper.

Nace had noticed that too—Jan dipping into his mind, unconsciously, whenever he wasn’t on stage or his immediate focus wasn’t needed. As soon as they’d be home in two days, Nace would wrap him up and hold him and guide him until the fog cleared. It was hard to do so himself, but Nace would always be there to help. The others would do the same for him.

But this wasn’t about Jan. This was about the man currently seeming so small in Nace’s arms, rendered helpless and vulnerable with worry for his friends.

“That really is a lot to think about. I’m sorry it overwhelms you this much,” he said, accompanied by another kiss to the top of his head.

Kris shrugged again.

“You don’t have to deal with it all by yourself, you know?” Nace prompted. He knew that Kris knew, of course he did, but maybe it helped to be reminded of it sometimes.

This time, Kris nodded. “It’s hard for me to talk about it,” he muttered.

A wave of affection surged through Nace at the simple trust Kris must have in him to even be here like this right now. He was so raw, so naked—figuratively as well as physically—in Nace’s arms but comfortable enough to let himself be held and listened to.

“How are you feeling?” Nace asked.

Kris’s head turned and Nace felt the breath of a kiss against the skin of his clavicle. “Better now,” was spoken after it, “still overwhelmed, but slightly better now. It helped—it helped to just. Say it.”

“That’s good,” Nace said. “Proud of you,” he added, which earned him a sweet little noise in return. Nace responded to it with a brush over Kris’s thigh. “Do you know what you need now? Or want?”

The movement on Nace’s chest continued. “I—think I want to take my mind off things.” Nace felt him melt further into his chest. “I think I need you to take care of me for a while.” His voice was little more than a whisper, laced with hesitation.

As if Nace wasn’t always ready to take care of his friends.

“Of course. How?” he asked calmly, trying to wash away any uncertainty.

It didn’t work. Instead of relaxing more, Kris tensed in his arms, like he knew what he needed but didn’t want to ask for it. “Can you—” he started but swallowed the words again. “I need—I can’t—”

“Hey,” Nace interrupted him soothingly, “it’s okay.”

He had an idea what Kris needed, craved, to stop thinking for a bit—he was settled nicely into Nace’s lap after all, their bare skin smooth and warm against the other’s, with his hand heavy on Nace’s chest, like what he really needed was to climb inside his rib cage and nestle there.

“Look at me,” Nace prompted.

When Kris did, Nace found his eyes locked to Nace’s lips. He dipped his head to dive into Kris’s line of vision, urging him to meet his eyes for merely a second, to confirm that the open expression was out of genuine want and not simply desperation. Kris’s eyes were wide and pleading, and whispered “please,” much surer than Kris himself ever could at this moment.

And while they may not be together, really none of them were, the lines between their friendships had started blurring a long time ago, as close as they were.

So Nace lowered his head further, let their noses brush together and waited for Kris’s relieved exhale before he pressed their lips together.

Kris sighed against them and pushed back enough to get Nace to push into him a little more, handing a bit more of himself over to Nace. His body finally relaxed again, his mind clearly finding refuge in the sensation Nace offered with his lips, his tongue that nudged Kris’s mouth now. Kris opened up for him willingly.

Nace was barely able to pull Kris any closer than they already were, but Kris’s hand travelled up Nace’s chest, his shoulders, his throat, until he was able to bury it in the hair at the back of Nace’s head. Kris tugged on it, while his other hand found Nace’s neck and squeezed, like he hoped it would make Nace swallow him whole.

“Kris,” Nace whispered between kisses and squeezes, “how much do you need?”

Kris whined against his lips, but Nace didn’t know if it was in need or in overwhelm.

“This,” Kris managed. “This is perfect.”

In response, Nace gave in to Kris’s tugs and kissed him deeper.

At some point, Nace removed his arm from around Kris’s thighs and used it to fully take a hold of his torso. Carefully, he shifted their position, guiding Kris onto his back and settling between his legs, hovering over him, all while doing his best to keep their lips locked. Kris seemed to appreciate the change, pulling a knee up and dragging it against Nace’s hip, and exploring the strong muscles of his shoulders with his hands. Nace kept one hand on Kris’s side, holding him, while the other propped him up so he wouldn’t crush the man beneath him.

But that seemed to be exactly what he needed—a particularly hard tug, a hard squeeze at his shoulder blade made Nace lose his balance and he almost dropped on top of Kris, now only propped up on his elbow. A gasp was pushed into Nace’s mouth, and he was about to shift and apologise, when Kris’s grip on him tightened and the leg pulled up to his side was hooked around his thigh. So Nace pushed Kris fully into the mattress, pinning him down with his hips as well as his torso. It was met with an appreciative sigh.

“Thank you,” Kris breathed when Nace couldn’t help but let his kisses drift from Kris’s lips up his jaw. The skin was wet at the junction of his jaw and throat, not just from their shared spit but from fresh, gentle tears as well. But Nace didn’t dare pull back to ask if Kris was okay—they both already knew he wasn’t. Instead, he continued to drag his lips down his throat. “I—” Kris started but it broke off into a sigh as he tilted his head to the side to give Nace better access.

“Shh,” Nace pressed into his pulse point. “It’s okay.”

Kris nodded vaguely, and his hand back in Nace’s hair kept him right where he was needed the most.

#i genuinely love the drawing so much if you can't tell yet #(all your drawings hhhh)#writing this was so much fun! i wrote almost all of it in one go #thank you Mo for inspiring this!#joker out #joker out fanfic #kris guštin #nace jordan #linden writes stuff #nacekris #btw the working title for this was “NaceKris angsty smoochies hihi”#but that didn't really fit the vibe in the end oop

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