#hiiiiii guys so i've been depressed

[ya-bug-boy]

Are you ever gonna continue the self aware reader x submas thing? /gen

Bc i just binged it and I love it. Is it fueled by asks? bc I'm willing to send millions /hj

Submas x Self Aware Reader part 8

Now that you were slightly more aware of how your world is merely some fabricated game of entertainment, you were going to take advantage of it. The mushrooms you seek from the forest to the players would be a randomized encounter, spawning somewhere within the forest maze.

Because you were without both Ingo and Emmet, the world seemed to respond to you differently. That meant that though time would never pass and it would remain a constant night until both the farmers went to sleep, you were free to explore and manipulate the world however you wished.

You kept your guard up, as there was a potential chance that you killing the Killer Bee Queen didn't matter. But as you traverse through the woods, you're kept unusually safe. It could be because you were not a "player" vessel there would be no enemies for you to encounter.

In fact despite this being a dangerous forest in this world, no monsters come forth to fight you. The air is hauntingly quiet without the droning buzzes of Killer Bee Soldiers to fill it. Though you were alone, you felt safe, even stopping to fill your canteen at the river, drinking a few sips before continuing your journey. The forest maze was always tricky for players to navigate. As often there would be a telltale guide of some sort. An enemy, a sign in the trees, or even perhaps a fairy would lead heroes either to safety or to their doom. But for you, when you came to the entrance of the forest maze, it was. . . different.

Where there was supposed to be a misty, thick fog was nothing. Absolutely nothing. With your expert knowledge of how dangerous the world was, the paths of the forest were clear to you as the moonlight exposed the naked dead trees. It was undeniable how bizarre this was but you presumed it was because...yourself are not a player character. You are not meant to be here. The maze was always a dungeon of its own, strange energies in the world generating a path never to be repeated before. Perhaps because you are not a player, the forest dungeon doesn't know what to do.

A stroke of mercy, luck, and a harrowing truth that was hard to stomach. No music. No fog. Just dead silence where even the smallest of bugs would not sing their songs. You walk forward into the clear forest aimlessly until you spot it. The mushrooms you needed.

The royal Killer Bee Honey had curing elements, which were vital to the potions you would make. However this elusive mushroom you needed is used in lesser medicinal practices as well. This mushroom had magical properties to it once it had been properly dried and grounded into a powder. However if a player were to consume it raw, they would go through an unpredictable journey of pleasure, euphoria, or even panic. You gathered the purple mushrooms before walking out in one direction, in a swift line back to your train where it waited for you. As you board your train, you watch from your window as you leave the edge of the dangerous forest... For your vision to darken, forcing you to blink, before you find yourself back at the mountain summit where your station is. No matter how hard you tried to keep your eyes open, traversing to and from different regions made you...fast travel, you would now call it. Fast traveling feels like though you step forward, you cannot see the ground. An immediate plunge of darkness that frightens you, forcing you to blink, before you arrive to your destination. How truly terrifying it would be to be trapped in that void. You slow your train to a stop and oddly see the horses of the farmer boys standing nearby. Their loyalty is odd as they never seem to need to be tied down to a post, but will stand there for hours at a time without needing rest or nourishment.

As you step off your train, you see the door to your home swing wide open as the two farmers immediately swarm you with questions. "Are you okay?"

"Where did you go?" "Are you hurt?"

"Here, eat this," Ingo says as his vessel places their hands forward, ushering you to eat one of the foods you had cooked with him earlier that night. You hesitate to reach for the bowl of pasta. "How long did I keep you two waiting?" You ask as you gently cup the bowl in your hands.

"20 minutes," Emmet responds back. "We were verrrry worried about you."

"Dear Golden Eye," Ingo begins to talk, "We urgently require you to tell us more about your predicament. A part of me still doesn't seem to accept that you, that you are, well-" "Alive," Emmet finishes.

You sigh and tilt your gaze down. Somehow your bowl of pasta is still warm to the touch, steam escaping into the air. "Let me return to my crystal ball. I can see you two from there. I should show up on the nearest crystal appliance either of you have."

The three of you quickly enter back into your home and you sit down, tracing a circle on your crystal ball and then, they can see you.

You appear just as you did before, but on one of their computer screens. Not a pixel image of you, as one would ordinarily see with your talk sprite but an image of you so human and real it was as if though they were facetiming someone. You all stare for a few moments in silence before you let out an airy laugh by exhaling through your nose hard, giving the twins a gentle smile. "Hello boys." Ingo and Emmet's face both seem to redden, their blush betraying their composure as they relish in hearing your voice. You're not entirely certain about their perception of you but that is merely because you did not know how much they adored you. "We have a lot to talk about," you say gently as you pick up your food. "Would it be alright if we talked while I ate? The meal you helped me prepare, though it never loses its warmth, I think it'll taste better, eating it with you." "Why of course you may!" Ingo says with warmth in his voice.

"We cooked our own meal too! Yup yup. Just like how you showed us!" Emmet comments cheerily.

For the first time in what felt like forever, you're seen as a person. Your worth and value is measured not by what you can offer, but by how other people yearn for you.

You did not know the full and complete answers to everything, and granted, neither did they. Though revealing the truth was frightening as you feared they would shut down the crystal appliance they were using to communicate with you, you were met with kindness in the end.

[acefaun]

I miss reading your daily posts. How was your day? Did you do anything fun? 🙂

٩(♡ε♡ )۶ HIIIIII! I'm actually pretty excited today! My creative juices are flowing! Though it's low-key a bad thing because when I want to simultaneously draw, write, read, and watch movies all at the same time, my head kind of goes blank and can't do any of them. 😵‍💫 Adhd? A friend told me it's adhd but I'm not diagnosed and I'm not getting diagnosed because I have anxiety and depression and I'm not adding to my list of things I can fix!! (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

ANYWAY, I got to wear my college shirt to work and people stopped treating me like a minor. ✨ I feel empowered. I may be childish, but I AM A CHILDISH ADULT! 🔥 And then a young adult male flirted with me because of my Star Wars tattoo... Males. 👀 I'm too lesbian for this.

I wish I did more fun though... I had both of my jobs today(🤫don't tell my husbands I'm posting while at my afternoon job). But at my morning job I was terrified. 💀 It was slow because of the rain, so instead of cashiering, my boss put me cleaning behind the foyer where the boxes of soft drinks are stacked.

It was like a horror movie because the store music is blocked off back there. And I was terrified I'd accidentally awaken a rat that would come at me with vengeance... 😵‍💫 I could've died and my body wouldn't have been found because I would've been hidden behind the spooky stacks of boxes!

Just in time for spooky season, I guess... 👀

Of course... This was all a product of my overthinking. 😚 We have cats around our store and they're so chunky, I don't think we'd have live rodents.

BUT LOOK HERE

I decided on my creature for Halloween/RenFair this year!! (With a smol collection of Picrews to visualize my fluffy idea!!)

A FOX DEER! A FEER! ✨🔥✨

I could never decide on my favorite animal. So I just combined them. So I can still be a faun, but with my favorite fox fluffies! 💖

So... 😚 A feer is my new persona. ✨ Fluffies ears, swishie tail, adorable antlers, and hoovesies!

🤔 The whole idea started off as my Hazbin OC, but here we are! I love them too much!

PLUS, it's spooky season! And spooky season always puts me in a fantastic mood! ✨

I look forward to hopefully be at least weekly posting or something by next weekend! Cause that's my last weekend of my second job until next year. So I'll have more free time to hang out with you guys! 🥰 I'll be able to Tumblr more and catch up on all the fics I've been missing out on!

But yeeeeah, stay spookie, love! 💖🎃

[shslpunkartist99]

Hiiiiii

What a... fuckin' year

It's a doozy, so.. y'know the drill

So I've been more quiet as the year slowly drew to a close. The holidays have become a stressful time for me now. It used to only be because of work (work is always hectic for the holidays), but after moving out a couple of states away from my og home, it got more stressful trying to visit family. My manager didn't help with it either, literally delaying in approving my time off, so I had to go broke buying expensive plane tickets. Had to work a shit ton, both to make as much money as I could AND because it was the standard (we're an entertainment place for all ages, so yeah. Hella busy).

The holidays themselves were.. not the best. You guys know I don't talk much, and the few friends I have know that I'm not a social person (I feel constantly guilty about that). I would be perfectly content sitting at the edge of the table with friends while they chatted away. Hell, I'd be content not talking to anyone for over a month.

This ends up including my family, unfortunately. I know family is important and I need to keep in touch with them, but it's difficult. Both of our lives are extremely boring and mundane: we work, we rest at home, we eat, that's all. None of us go out to travel. None of us do any exciting activities. It's the same day everyday.

I bring this up because my silence has gotten people close to me to believe that I don't care about them. I don't keep in touch, therefore I don't care. I "only think about myself", so I'm selfish. I "don't think about other people", so I'm a careless person.

So that, uh... fucked me up.

We made the most of it, them claiming they don't want the holiday ruined (even though I was already defeated day 1 out of 4), so it ended.. ok? But it still sucked. Especially since I ended up getting sick. Medicine only made it worse because haha, why would it WANT to help? (Had me puking after taking it. Hadn't puked in years). I'm still sick now (haven't had time to properly recover because I had to work to make up for lost time, and my job wouldn't have me go back to work until I got a doctor's note, and that's just added stress I didn't want to deal with), but at least I have today and tomorrow to rest up.

Now that the holidays are done and over with, things should go back to how they SHOULD be: answering you guys' asks more often, putting up more frequent content and ideas, actually keeping in touch with friends.. the good stuff. Work should slow down to a much easier pace after this week (starting this week tbh, the next "big" event isn't until the end of this month), so I should be able to manage my time and energy properly.

I'm not gonna make any big deal about resolutions or anything like that, but I do want to try and get a writing piece done every week or something. Whether based on an existing idea or something random. I want to get the flow going again. Art shouldn't be an issue. Streaming will still be random.

The main thing is also to socialize again. Kim, Shades, I missed you guys. Kinda left ya on read, and I know you guys are super understanding and stuff, but it feels very unfair that you guys do a lot for me, and I don't do anything back. I'm gonna regain focus and energy to properly return the favor. I'm gonna try to keep the same energy with my family too. As shitty as that visit went, they're all I got, and they're all going through issues as well. So if me messaging them a "Hey, how are you?" sparks some joy in them, then I'll do that. At least for my bro, who I feel has been going through the most. He deserves better.

I still got some recovery to do. Not just with the sick or the mental, but also taking care of my home and better habits. Haven't been cleaning or cooking lately because of depression, and it's starting to show. I need to fix that up. But I'm just relieved the year is over, and I don't have to worry as much about work or spending lots of money or traveling or any other shit going on. I can finally (hopefully) relax..

If it's seen as selfish to take care of myself.. tbh? I'm defeated. I don't care anymore. I'm barely holding myself together with cheap tape. But with things easing up, it should be better. Should be easier.

I might still be a lil quiet here still until at least the sick is gone, but I might do lil stuff here and there. Probably have the Punks take over a lil for fun. I've been thinking about them a lot, as well as the comfort characters Keith, Leroy, and Naomi (I've actually been having multiple dreams with her, which made me really happy. I'll talk about them one day. She's so cool).

You guys have made for a great year tbh. Helping me develop ideas and being interested in my silly gay characters and aus. Idk how many of you are here (or still here), but I wouldn't have a happy corner without you guys. Thank you so much. I hope you guys had a great holiday, had a good enough year, and will continue to have fun times for the current future.

♤♡◇♧Bloop♧◇♡♤

[userlaylivia]

hiiiiii guys!! <33 so my dad's death is finally fully hitting me after two months meaning I've been sobbing and depressed and my anxiety is at an all time high ugh so I'm going to take a couple days away from here, only a couple days so if you see posts it'll be my queue running ily all so much especially the ones that have been there for me throughout all of this!! <33333

[sopebubbles]

Hiiiiii guys,

I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm closing all requests, including for serendipity. I have 30 asks in my inbox rn and I really want to write all of them, but I honestly don't know when I'll get to them. I'm finding it harder and harder to write these days. It turns out I've been suffering from really severe anemia for a few years now, and I'm just so damn tired literally all of the time. When I first started this blog and created my first few series, I wasn't working or was working a very light schedule, and it was easy to write whenever I had the time and energy. Since I started working full time, I just have so little left at the end of the day, and it's been making it difficult to write, and that's been frustrating to no end. Add onto that a stupid spell of depression making every word I write sound stupid to me, and basically, I've been really struggling with writing. I'm not giving up. I have a lot of stories I want to write. But I always try to give you guys my best, and I don't want to post something I don't love myself, which I felt like I did a lot with Serendipity. I've finally gone to a doctor for the first time in like 4 years, and I'm getting my shit worked out, but in the meantime, I've decided not to pressure myself anymore or beat myself for not feeling well enough to do something that I love.

All this really means is that I don't want you to expect updates or a new au from me in the near future! I'll definitely still be here, so feel free to reach out in my inbox or message me or tag me in cool stuff or send me fic recs. I'm too addicted to Tumblr to leave it, and most of my friends are here, so... this isn't the h-word, okay.

Thank you guys for all the love and I hope you continue to enjoy my past and future stories.

[angelblumes]

ello ive been sleepy 😴 9 hrs eryday lately but ofc I got neck pain 🙄 I got hit on by an old dude who tried to ask me for s** ugh I got extremely objectified.. dysphoria hit me after that also got triggered because of memories of a similar past experience 🤪 im good tho now I've been listening to music to go to bed very relaxing, I discovered jack harlows music he's alright also did you see lil nas new music industry baby? Idk if you like that kinda music but im sure you can appreciate the mv . Im also afraid of bugs I know were the same person at this point, mine started with the butterfly episode of spongebob 💀 😂 my winter depression is coming my summer anxiety is mostly GONE tho which is good in some ways bad in others. who do you watch on youtube just for curiosity ? my meds are late 😪 Idk if im gonna have tomorrows, here's something fun fact abt me tho, Wellbutrin xl , some personality to the me if you ... idk ppls kind of medicines says things abt them idk idk ✌ ☮ ❤ 🤟🤙🤙❤🌷

hiiiiii! so sorry that happened:( i'll kill him for you. i take welbutrin too......... we are so connected. my music taste is insane i listen to a lot of stuff but also nothing. i like lil nas x but i dont listen to his stuff. and jack harlow sounds familiar but... yeah. my youtube taste is awful. popular commentary people most of the time. but for actually good youtubers...eleanor neale, mina le, khadija mbowe... my friends and i talk abt nexpo's videos a lot. i tried to give some variety. um dude i've been totally awful recently to be honest. lost a friend group over stupid shit. again.😭. last ask i mentioned my friend mischa? we are no longer friends. literally an hour after i answered your ask. i'm trying to get over it but 💔. im going to baltimore tomorrow!!!! well today in 7 hours. haha. i need to sleep. i'm excited but nervous bc i feel super sick the past couple days :( a 4 and a half hour car trip will not help. i've completely changed my hannibal serial killer idea. oops. im such a genius for the last one but now im like ughhh but i want it to be PERSONAL. someone my oc knowssss. and can eventually kill. so im trying to work w that. trying to make her like an artist and the killer is copying her art but with murder... its a work in progress. i read one where a guy was copying the murders in a book series someone wrote. i saw my psychiatrist and she was proud of me🥺😭. got put on guant-something for adhd. yahoo. if it doesn't work i finally will get to try stimulants or whatever. i just have the feeling thats what im gonna need LMAO! last but not least i forgot to do my homework tonight. um.... and its due sunday and we're leaving to baltimore til tuesday. and i need my laptop to do it. but then i'd have to bring the stupid thing..... ok i'll just bring it. and do it at night secretly and pretend i didnt forget about it. perfect. its a really easy practice quiz but i'm a cheater. i need my laptop so i can search the answers on my phone. i have no excuse for this