#him not shaking his ass on me cause hes not gay......ok..........lame...

[loverboybitch]

not my favorite pictures of me but thats literally my barbie so.//.

[infinnite]

(self-para)

Finn was studying, yeah actually studying, when his dorm’s lights flickered on and off. Then he realized it was ‘cause of him. He was just blinking a lot. He was feeling suddenly sleepy as hell which was weird because he had like three and a half Red Bulls. Not the magical kind which gave you literal wings. He was gonna close ‘em for a hot sec. But he held his eyes closed for too long and when he opened ‘em again, Finn was someplace else.

“Shit, high school.” 

He breathed out those damned words. He was in the familiar hallway of William McKinley High School, with those stupid tiny lockers and linoleum floors which always smelled like one of the jock’s sweaty gym socks. 

‘The fuck am I here for?’ Finn wondered. 

It was damn weird ‘cause the place was empty. ‘Did I come here on a Pro-D Day again?’ Finn checked for his watch and saw the back of his hand. ‘Oh I don’t wear a watch at all. Why’d I think I’d wear one here?’ He smirked at his own absent head and searched for the exit. If memory served Finn right, there should be a way out if he took a right. Finn walked through his empty high school, awed at how nothing changed. Same advertised school lunch. Same old water fountain the kids used to spit on the handle. Same leftover pop cans on the floor rolled to the edges of the walls. Finn turned a corner and stopped when he heard the noise for the first time he arrived to his high school.

The gymnasium’s door was open and Finn could hear cheering beyond the door. He jogged up, reached for the crack, and pulled the doors open. 

“Hooooooly shit!” Finn’s own voice was swallowed by the crowd’s loud yelling. This was McKinley’s gymnasium alright, with the paper banner the student council made saying HOMECOMING. The bleachers were packed, and Finn was watching the same spectacle they were. He was totally mesmerized. Music was playing, and Finn saw some guy on stage. He had some fancy ass clothes on ‘im, like he was dressed as some kinda King, but he was too far away for Finn to see his face. 

“Finn, what are you doing here?” Said Rachel, who appeared next to him. 

“What the fuc-Rachel? How’ya here? You never went to McKinley!” Finn said.

“Finn, what are you talking about! We’re in the same Glee Club!” Rachel laughed and it made the horse on her sweater jiggle. Finn snapped his head up from her shirt’s design.

“Glee Club?? I never did that shit in high school,” Finn argued. His high school did have one of those lame show choir clubs, but Finn had never joined it. He would never, not even if a teacher blackmailed him into it. Finn hated Glee Club. It meant being a social fuckin’ pariah. Big ol’ Bully Me Badge. 

“Oh Finn, you’re so silly! Come on, we should warm up for our duet together.” Rachel reached out to touch him and Finn pulled back, scared his empathy would flare up if they made skin contact.

“Rach, no, we can’t! Remember, I’m... not right... ‘m busted. I don’t know how’ta protect ya from me...” Finn’s murmur was lost in the crowd. Rachel looked concerned for a second until she shrugged. She was tossing her hair back. Finn thought it was really hot.  

“You’re right Finn, I deserve someone much more better.” Rachel said, voicing Finn’s fears. 

“Someone like me? Madam-mo-salle?” Finn heard his voice behind him and he turned around. 

“Fuckin’ shit. You’re... me?” Finn was face to face with a mirror version of him ‘cept like the mirror was rich as fuck. Actually, it reminded Finn of what he saw in the House of Mirrors at the CCB Carnival a few years back. Rachel squealed and latched herself onto the mirror image’s side, burying her face into a royal red cape. Finn was jealous seeing Rachel hug the other Finn and the other Finn’s badass cape.

“Hello my royal subject, I’m you but intelligenter and gentlemanlier. I’m an intelligentleman. Finn Khristopher Hudson. The Khristopher starts with a K for Klassiness. I’m extraordinarily, exceedingly, exceptionally, egg-saladly smart and cultured and rich and good-looking and popular.” 

The other Finn said. Finn narrowed his eyes in a squint ‘cause he had no fuckin’ clue what the other Finn was saying, even though it did sound really smart ‘cause of the long words.

“Other Finn, like, what, dude?” Finn vocalized and he was immediately embarrassed by how dumb he sounded in comparison. Other Finn and Rachel mockingly laughed at him in a perfect a cappella. Jesus fuckin’ Christ, the in tune laughter hurt more than regular not in tune laughter. 

“Don’t you assume to convene me to be other Finn, good fellow sir, how presumingly assumingly rude of you! I’m Best Finn. Or King Finn for short.” 

Finn didn’t know if King Finn was the real shorter term for Best Finn, but he didn’t argue it. Number one, Finn had gotten a D in English and number three, That guy looked like him but a million bucks richer. He probably was a million bucks richer! The crowd all cheered, yelling King Finn.

The King Finn bowed all noble-like, and his cool cape whooshed like in comic books. Rachel let go and swooned and King Finn caught her all cool like in comic books.  

“Fuck, okay, sorry, dude-- uhhh, King dude?” Finn apologized. 

“It’s complimentary, Peasant Finn.” King Finn smirked and clapped his gloved hands. “Loyal royal subjects! Show yourselves!” 

At the sound of King Finn’s order, the gym door opened again and Finn saw his fellow NYADA classmates enter in what he remembered as the McKinley sports jerseys and outfits. Matt, Brody, Karofsky, and even Kurt! They were all dressed like Finn’s football team, the McKinley Titans, and they went by King Finn, clapping his shoulder as they flanked behind the regal lookin’ bro. 

But it was the cheerleaders who caught Finn’s eyes. All the girls at NYADA, Rachel also included somehow, were dressed in the red outfits Finn remembered so well. Marley, Tina... Finn’s throat caught a breath when he saw Q in that skirt. Then it turned into a full choking on air when he saw Elliott out of all people in that skirt, wearing a full face of makeup! 

“Elliott?” Finn said and Elliott batted his eyelashes. Finn completely lost his words when the next person showed up tho, it was Blaine, no makeup, wearing the same swishy skirt, showing his legs. 

‘What the fuck is happening?’ Finn had to turn his head away, and sideways glanced back at the King, who was laughing as the cheerleaders all went to give him a hug. Some of the girls even gave the King a kiss on the cheek! It was like some big hugging harem. This had to be the worst fuckin’ nightmare Finn ever had and one time he dreamed the clown from It became his mom. The Red Bull done Finn in.

“Jealous, Peasant?” King Finn grinned. “I know you are. You want everyone to like you like how they adore me. You wanna be me, don’t you?”

“N-nah dude, who wants ‘ta be a fuckin’ prick like you! Why are my friends lookin’ like this? Did you set ‘em up for it? Is this an illusion? ‘Tana? Did you do something?” Finn asked Santana who wasn’t hugging King Finn. She was picking her nose.

Santana laughed and her skirt swayed. “No, I have better things to do than use my magic on someone as worthless and simpleminded as you. If I illusioned you, you would never figure it out, because you’re stupid.”

Finn bit his tongue because he knew what Santana was saying was true. The crowd was laughing along to her words, muttering the words Finn remembered from high school. Finn was nothing but a dumb jock who had nothing after he graduated. Already peaked.

“See, Peasant? You know how they all see you. You know they think you’re stupid, a dumbass, an idiot, an Amiibo. They see you as a dumb fuckboy, and you don’t know how to defend yourself from this accusation. Can’t figure out how to be smart. Can’t figure out how to not be a goddamn chore to your friends ‘cause of your dumb ass. You know that’s how they see ya, it’s right there in the way they talk to ya. Am I hitting it close, my royal subject?”

“S-shut up, dude... that ain’t fair, you don’t know me...”

“But I do, Finn Christopher Hudson with the C for Classless. You’re the Lima Loser who only got a new coat of paint. Right, Kurt, that’s how the saying goes?”

Kurt was checking his nails. “Yep, whatever.” 

Finn was jealous by how easily King Finn got Kurt to agree.

“Shut up, King Dude. Shut up.”

“I know you. You say you’re over high school and you’re over being popular but that isn’t the truth at all. Mea culpa. You just didn’t feel like you deserved this crown but if you were as smart, as rich, as cultured as I am, you wouldn’t think twice about being on top. You love being on top, don’t ya, Hudson? Top dog who gets all the girls... and maybe some of the guys, heh.”

“Ok, but who hasn’t had gay thoughts?!?!”

“I know your secret, Peasant Finn. You tried so hard to keep it but you couldn’t help it, my royal subject.”

“No, it can’t be... Don’t say it!”

“You like...”

“No! No!! Fucking shut up, dude! Shut the fuck up!”

“You like Superman more than Batman! You always did! You think Batman is too edgy and honestly just a rich asshole where edgelords just dump their fantasies onto! Even if Superman is boring he’s a better hero than Batman!”

“NO! NO! YOU’RE NOT ME!! Batman is cooler because of the dark angst and shitty revenge plots!”

“Yea I am you! I’m the you that you wanna be!”

Finn was shocked by the grip on his collar. King Finn had grabbed him with both hands, and the crown slipped off his head and landed on the floor. It rolled with a loud metallic ringing noise. Suddenly they were the only two in the gymnasium. 

“You want your friends to treat you with basic respect.” King Finn was chuckling, shaking Finn violently. 

Finn gritted his teeth. “No! You’re not me! That’s not true!”

“You don’t wanna feel shamed for not knowing things. For not getting it like the rest. For being slow.”  

Finn’s own hands struggled to push the royal off of his neck.

“Shut up!”

“You know if you were better like me, you would be treated better. No one treats a poor dumb person nice. Not even yourself. Not even me.”

“Fuck off!” Finn finally shoved King Finn off of him. Finn rebalanced on his feet and headed out for the gym door. King Finn landed on his ass and laughed. 

“Yea dude, fuckin’ run off. S’what you do all the time, right? If you get in too deep, then you gotta analyze shit, and you know, you fuckin’ know you don’t got any talent for that. S’why you fuckin’ fail as an empath.”

Finn slammed the gym door behind him, and the loud sound rang in his ears, causing Finn to lean back and fall off his chair.

“Shit!” Finn hissed and opened his sleepy eyes. He was back at his room in NYADA. 

‘What the fuck?’ Finn thought and grabbed his sore head and back. ‘What a weird ass dream...’ Finn shook it off just as his phone buzzed a new text. It was from Blaine and he was asking for help. Something was wrong with Kurt.

[theabominableblogger]

Rewatching “Gotham” S4E21

*cue both of us with lots of yelling, reacting to frighting imagery, and just being done with everyone*

My sister watched it with me (as well as the other episodes left in my epic “Gotham” reaction series) so my comments will be in bold, and hers will be in regular font.  Author’s notes courtesy of me will be bolded and italicized. 

AN:   I managed to record our reactions to this episode and hopefully I can transcribe what I said into this post. 

Sooo... to break your heart, Ecco is not in the rest of the episodes.

Noooooo...

But they [ the writers] explain like why she wasn’t there.  They kinda explain that they still wanted to go into the Jeremiah and Bruce story line and finish that.

Ohhhh OK.

They wanted to finish that before they got into the whole [Jeremiah and Ecco dynamic].  Plus, basically what they established is that Jeremiah just wanted her to get out of the way so that he could do his plan and he’s like “OK, then we’re gonna do some shit!”

Sounds fair.

And I’m like “OK!  You gotta look out for your boo first!”

‘Look out for your boo,’ I love it.

“Sources tell us Captain James Gordon was at the scene and is missing and feared dead.”  Nope!

“I [Lucius] just got off the phone with Search and Rescue. Whatever blew Jeremiah's bunker was catastrophic.”  *eyes widen in shock*

“I [Harvey] want CSIs out there pronto, and I want everyone looking for Jeremiah Valeska and Bruce Wayne.”  You don’t wanna go looking for him [Jeremiah].

*softly*  Nooooo don’t.

“Jim trusts him [Harvey], okay?  So everybody get back to work.”  Thank you, Harper!  MVP!

*Harvey finds Jeremiah waiting outside the precinct*  Oh shit!

Whaaa... how?!?  What was the time span between these two episodes?

I don’t know...

‘Cause you would think it’s immediate!

Oh I love his [Jeremiah’s] coat!

Uggh.  Look at the hat!  The glasses!

I love that entire look.

I like the natural lighting too for this scene

“JEREMIAH!  JEREMIAH!”  Jesus God, he turned them all into stormtroopers!

Ohhhh that’s a great shot [the wide shot of Jeremiah vs the GCPD]

What voice are you [Jeremiah] doing?

It sounds like he’s doing the Hannibal Lecter voice

It’s Hannibal Lecter and Andrew Scott’s Moriarty...

Except without the Irish accent

*mouths along with Jeremiah saying “boom, boom, boom”*

“Don't compare me [Jeremiah] to that short-sighted psychopath.”  Dude, we’ve met you for two months!

“I'm [Jeremiah] gonna create a new Gotham in my image.  But every artist needs a blank canvas, so all of this has to go.”  *leans back in frustration*  This is like Theo Galavan in S2!

“Then everyone who dies screaming, who watches their loved ones crushed before them, will have you to thank, Detective Bullock.”  *groans*

“Nobody has to die.”  SURE JAN!

*eyes widen in shock when Jeremiah blows up the clock tower*

Hoooly shit!

And that was just the opener!  We are in for some shit ahead!

“Me [Oswald]?  I’d rather live.”  *both chuckle*

Ah, I love Robin Lord Taylor.

“They ripped out my [Jongleur’s] fingernails.”  *both yell in horror for a second*

“Normally, I [Oswald] would keep both of them for myself.  But I find myself a bit short of the necessary manpower- or womanpower, if you will.”  I knew you were gonna say that and it’s lame...

“Hugo Strange can fix Butch.”  What I wanna know is where exactly is Strange operating now.

That’s a good question.

Because his ass is still alive.

I love how like sassy these two [Oswald and Barbara] are.  It’s like, I don’t like Barbara, but she’s got so much sass.

She and Oswald kinda deserve each other honestly.

I know.

They’re each other’s bitchy gay best friends.

Oh yeah.

“Holy Mother of God, Bruce Wayne.”  *gasps*

How the hell did he [Bruce] get out of the grave?

God, he [Bruce] is heartbroken!  Your boy is heartbroken!

“I’m [Harvey] so sick of that freaking family.”  *cackles*

That is a mood!  That is a huge mood!

“Wayne Enterprises built those bombs?!?”  *groans in frustration*

He didn’t know!

He didn’t know!

“Look, I [Harvey] know you [Bruce] feel guilty. But Jim Gordon was- is important to all of us.”  God, they’re both hurting!  So much!

“So go home.  Be with Alfred.  Be safe.”  *whines*  ALFRED ISN’T THERE!

I hate this so much

[INCOMING:  ALFRED]  Oh my God!

“Alfred, where have you been?”  “No, not Alfred.”  *leans back in chair*  SON OF A BITCH!

*groans in frustration*

“I [Jeremiah] hope you [Bruce] didn't catch a cold in my brother's grave.  I know those things aren't exactly designed for the living.”  *flips off screen with both hands*

Wait, did he [Jeremiah] just turn it off?  Did he turn the detonator off ‘cause he clicked it.  Or he just set off another bomb.

I thought it was just an intimidation tactic.  No, we would have heard a boom.

Oh.

We would have heard a boom if there was another bomb.

“Bruce, let’s get something straight.”  Where do you get your [Jeremiah’s] outfits?  That’s what I wanna know!

He was already a well dressed son of a bitch before.

I will raid your closet!

“[Jeremiah] You are insane!”  *holding head in hands*  I thought I was a Pisces...

*laughs*  That is the saddest way I’ve heard anyone deliver that line

“Tell the police and I'll know.  Just like I [Jeremiah] know that's where you [Bruce] are right now.”  How does he know?  Is there a spy...

I’d say he’s bluffing.

...on the inside?

*in unison after a good two seconds*  HERCULES MULLIGAN!

And he’s [Jim] aliiive!

Well duh!

Leeeeee!!!

God, Jim getting up is such a mood!

He [Jim] grabbed a syringe as a weapon.  He’s still konked out.

You are never going to deserve her [Lee], Jim.

“I'll [Jim] have to thank him [Ed] when I arrest him.”  You are really terrible at repaying people!

*Jim rips out the IV in his arm*  Don’t do thaaat!

Why did you do that?!?  Why do people always do that?

“In my jacket I [Jim] got those [plans] from Jeremiah's office.  They may give us some clue as to what he's planning.”  And you know what, those were hanging in the background in the previous episode.

Yep.

*Jim goes back to sleep*  That is the most graceful fall I’ve ever seen.

Selina!

“Bruce, I’m [Selina] gonna be here whenever you need me.”  Aaaawww!!

*laughs in pain knowing EXACTLY what happens at the end of this episode*

“He [Jeremiah] wants something out of me [Bruce].”  “Like what, to be your best friend?”  Yep.

Yeah, actually.

*both gasp and reel back in horror when the first image of Alfred’s torture pops up in the tunnel*

*both immediately hold hands*

“[Lee] You brought him [Jim] here because you thought it would give us leverage with the GCPD.”  “Yes.”  “By holding him hostage!”  *does a WTF shrug*

“This drawing is the key to Valeska's plan.  We solve it and we trade the information for clemency.”  How good is that gonna do you guys?

*shrugs*

“Or perhaps there’s something more going on.”  That’s a safe bet.

Oh my God...

“What happened between Jim and I is over.”  *groans in frustration*

“Ed, if this maniac levels half the city, it's gonna disrupt food distribution, water supply, power.  The people of the Narrows will suffer the most.  We can prevent that, while, at the same time, helping us out of this mess we're in.”  OK, yeah, I’m with Lee.

Yeah.

I’m with Lee.

Yeah, that’s a very good point.

“Do it for us.”  Don’t kiss him again.

Noooooo!!!

*Lee and Ed kiss*  I die a little bit inside every time that happens.

Lucius really is the best.

He is the best.

“But how do we find it? How do we find this brain [the core relay]?”  Foregone conclusion:  you guys don’t find it.

Ohh that’s a good shot [of Jeremiah walking into the building]!  That’s straight out of “Mask of the Phantasm!”

I love it.

*forms an imaginary box around Jeremiah*  A LOOK!  That is a look!

It really is.  With the red gloves!

“I envy you.”  You do noooot!  Shut up!

“Call our friend. Tell him to kill the butler. He’s no longer necessary.“  *shakes finger at screen*  MMM-MMMM!!

You better not!  I mean, I know they don’t, but you better not!

Oh my God, I’ve seen this scene!

“Oswald Cobblepot.�� Barbara Kean.  In my stronghold.”  It’s less likely than you think!

“And is that my dear Jongleur with my core relay in his hand and a grenade taped to his mouth?”  Yes that is!

Holy crap, no, he’s [Oswald] like twirling the [bomb] wire!

Yeeeeppp.

A+ hat removal

“It seems you [Oswald] have the upper hand.”  OK, whenever somebody says that, immediately believe that you’re toast!

Those contacts [of Jeremiah’s] are just so unsettling.

They are.

*imitates the way Jeremiah is sitting*

I would like to know who dyed his [Jeremiah’s] hair.

*laughs when Jeremiah rolls his eyes whenever Barbara speaks* 

OK, how do they not realize they’re being had?  If somebody’s playing it that calm, immediately think something is bad.

“ Well, that and being vastly more intelligent.“  Yeah, he’s basically just telling them right there “Dude, what are you guys doing?”

Oh my God, Penguin, are you that dense?

He’s [Jeremiah] probably calling Ecco.  He’s like “Oh my God, can you believe this bullshit?!?”

*chuckles*

Ecco probably dyed his hair.  Headcanon.  There we go.

“We’re not just gonna hand this thing over and let him destroy Gotham, are we?”   “Of course not. Once we get the money, we kill Jeremiah and his people, give the core relay to the police, split the $50 million, and are hailed as the heroes of Gotham!”  WHY ARE YOU ADMITTING THAT RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM [Jeremiah]?!?

I think that’s the boom mic.  It was a little too close.

They’re saying this right in front of Jeremiah!

I know!

“Can you believe it?  They put me on hold?”  His phone wasn’t even on the entire time.

*jaw drops when Jeremiah pulls out the bazooka*

WHAT THE SHIT-

*jaws drop when Jongleur gets blown up*

*softly*  WHAT THE F-

You realize you ruined your entire plan by destroying the core relay.

“ What’s insane about having a backup plan?  Something Jongleur never knew about.”  *imitates the way Jeremiah dramatically brushes himself off*  Oh I’m sorry, gotta brush myself off!

“And whose fault is it that I changed my mind?”  *grabs desk in shock*

I’m altering the deal.  Pray I don’t alter it any further.

“...kill these idiots.”  And he just RUNS!

*chuckles*

Look at ‘im, look at ‘im!  Nyoom!

Look at him go!

“Hello, Bruce.”  Hi asshole!

“ I imagine you’re wondering, why is Jeremiah doing this?”  *puts head on desk*  I’M DONE!

“My brother once said, “All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy.”  OK no, you don’t get to ape that- oh my God, they are literally doing the “Killing Joke” thing ‘cause he’s got all these things on the walls!

Aaauugghh!

*both put our hands on our heads in horror*

AAAHHHHH I HATE THIS EPISODE.  I HATE THIS EPISODE SO MUCH!

*Scarecrow starts breathing*  Jesus God...

*whines in shock behind hands*

“I’ve [Jeremiah] instructed Scarecrow to mix up something exceptional.”  Oh my God,another one?

*slaps hands on desk in horror*

“Your butler is going to show you the path ahead.”  *in unison*  Noooo!

Nooo, we’re not doing this!

Noooo!

He’s [Scarecrow] got the fear gauntlets on [from the Arkham games]!

*both instantly freak out when Alfred gets sprayed with the insanity gas*

“I [Ed] want to make one thing very clear. If Gotham becomes a rock pile, I mind zero percent.”  Pfftt.

“I’m only helping you [Jim] because I’m with Lee now.”  “Fine.  Whatever.”  *chuckles*

You’re full of shit, Nygma.

“ Ed, Jeremiah Valeska is threatening to destroy half the city. You really think I care if you’ve deluded yourself into thinking you and Lee are a couple? ”  EEEEEEEYYYYYYYY!!!!  YES!!

The man has a point.

“[Jim] You don't believe that Lee could actually love me [Ed], do you?”  “Honestly? No.”  OH MY GOD, JIM!

“[Ed] You're a psychopath and a murderer.  And the fact that you need me [Jim] to validate your crazy fantasy means that you don't believe it either.”  *claps excitedly*  HOOOOOOOOO!!!

I don’t trust for a second that you [Ed] can carry on a relationship without hurting the woman involved!

“She’s with me in every way.”  Freeze him!  Put him in ice again!

Please, God.  He did less harm that way.

Can we get back to the topic at hand thank you!

“So you're saying that she [Lee] wouldn't be with a killer?  And yet she was with you [Jim].”  *sits back in frustration*  EEEEEDDDDD....

Noo, EEDDD... he’s saying Jim’s worse than him.

OK no...

*groans in frustration*

“Can we do this?”  *raises hands in air*  Thank you.

*Ed figures out the diagram*  It’s a skyline.

Damn...

“Jeremiah lived his entire life in a maze. Now he's trying to remake the city into the place he feels most safe.”  “It's actually rather elegant.”  Jeremiah’s more of a Riddler than the actual Riddler.

*shrugs*

*shrugs*  Yeah...

“Lee and I have some legal knots we need untangled.  Before we spend the rest of our lives together.”  I’m so done.

Screw you, Eddie!

I’m so done with you!

Now I’m reminded why I didn’t like you!

I liked him in the first half of S4, now it’s just like “Ugh.”

*cheers when Jim knocks out Ed*

THANK YOU!  Thank you for that!  I would have done it myself!

*gasps when the show cuts back to Barbara and Co. taking out the rest of Jeremiah’s goons*

Ugh, you [Oswald] are so boned...

*claps hands with each word*  LET!  US!  MOVE!

“IS THIS OSWALD?!?”  *chuckles*

*chuckles when Harvey abruptly hangs up on Oswald*

*Jim walks back in*  Eeeyyy!

There he is!

*smiles when Harvey hugs the crap out of Jim*

“But what matters is, I have the locations of every bomb Jeremiah planted.”  Oh he wrote them down!

Auugghh, Jim, when you’re awesome, you’re awesome, and when you suck, you suck.

*sighs*  Yeah...

I’m gonna hate this very much...

Ohhhh fear gas!

Ohhhhhhhh, screw that noise.

*gasps when Scarecrow walks up behind Selina*

Aaand that’s him.

OH HE’S GOT A SCYTHE HOLY SHIT 

He’s got a scythe...

LOOK AT HIM, HE’S SO COOL!

“I [Scarecrow] think our little experiment is about to get much more interesting.”  Oh nononononono...

*Selina starts beating up goons*  Oh, go, go, go, go!

“I [Harvey] need this, Jim.”  Let him take it.

Ugghh, c’mon guys!

God, Scarecrow looks so cool...

*both freak out when Scarecrow starts swinging his scythe at Selina*

They’re pumping the hallway that Bruce is in with that [fear gas]!

*shakily*  Yeah...

So he’s actually seeing a bunch of stuff that isn’t happening.

Yeee-eepp.

*covers hands in horror when we see more of Alfred’s torture*

This is like a Nine Inch Nails music video!

It kinda does...

Jesus Christ...

*both reel back in horror*

“Alfred?”  Oh no, did they- noooo....

*puts hands on head in shock*

Noo they didn’t!

*both yell in horror when Fake Alfred gives himself a Glasgow smile*

It’s just fear gas!

It’s fear gas!  It’s fake!

It’s fear gas...

It’s fake, it’s fake, it’s fake, fake, fake, fake, fake, fake!

*shakes hands in worry*  Oh God...

I DON’T LIKE THIS EPISODE AT AAALLL!!

*sighs*  I’m with you there...

*gasps when Fake Alfred slices Bruce’s sweater with the knife*

Oh my God, no...

Where the heck are they?!?

I don’t know...

*Selina finds someone locked behind a door*  Is that where Alfred is?

“Brucey... give me a smile!”  *jaw drops in horror*

Noo...

Nononononono...

Aaahhhh...

*both cover our mouths in horror when Fake Alfred gets shot and goes over the balcony*

“Scarecrow was just pumping his fear gas in here.”  *keels over*  I’m done, you guys!

*both keel over in exhaustion when Alfred appears*

That wasn’t him...

“Look, I’m fine.  it’s me.  It’s Alfred.”  *sing songs*  Huuuugggg him noooooww!

Please...

Aahhhhh....

“Alfred?”  Give this boy a hug, pleeeasseee...

Aaahhhh....

I’ve seen this before, but I’m so worn out... I’m so worn out by this episode...

*sighs*  That’s understandable...

We have 11 minutes to go... then we have the finale.

“I [Harvey]  don't know what it's [the bomb] supposed to look like, but I think it is exactly what I'm staring at.”  Disable it.

Could only wonder how stable that thing [the bomb] is.

*Jeremiah enters the room*  Hooo... that is such a sharp suit...

*snorts in hilarity at Jeremiah’s little smirk of approval that he gives his followers*

“No, wait, Harvey, one of the breakers could be the supercharge fail-safe. Whatever you do, do not touch that one.”  *raises hands in WTF manner*

Well, which one?!?

Vertigo shot....

Yeeeeeepppp....

“This is a message to the followers of Jeremiah Valeska. Jeremiah claims to have killed me [Jim]. Well, bad news, I’m alive.“  *leans back*  Hooooooo...

The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

Whooooo....

“So, just know you’re worshipping a fraud. A pale imitation of Jerome.“  *jaw drops in shock*

“You did your worst, Jeremiah, and I’m still here.”  Hooooooooooo!!!

Jim almost died and he’s so done with everything.  Drag them!

Oh my God, this is gonna be so great.

*Harvey pulls out one of the breakers*  He did it!  Please tell me he did it!

*both laugh in relief when Harvey realizes he saved the day*

He did it!  YA DID IT, HARVEY!

*Jeremiah realizes he done effed up*  Oh schnap.

"SHUT UUUUUUPPPPPPP!”  *gasps*

...Shit.

*jaw drops open and covers mouth in shock when Jeremiah starts to laugh to himself*

*under her breath*  What the...

He [Jeremiah] just spit on that word [’fickleness’]

*shakily*  This music is also very good...

*chuckles*  [And he] Runs!

Oh, this is where he- yeeeeeeppp.

*jaw drops when Jeremiah purges his followers*

“Perhaps the outcome was not what we had hoped, - but it was worth the risk.”  Everyone’s like “Oswald, shut up.”

Seriously though...

“Let’s go, Butch.”  “Nope.”  *raises hands in air*  Thank you!

“.Ever since we [Oswald and Butch] teamed up, everything's gone to crap.”  He’s not wrong...

“Except I [Oswald] do know where Strange is.”  You’ve held out on this the entire time?!?

“And how exactly do we pay him [Strange]?!?”  “I [Tabitha] can be very persuasive.”  *sighs*

Stab him.

I think that’s a... desanctified church that he’s [Jeremiah] in

Could very well be, yeah...

Oh, he’s [Jeremiah] using an old map...

Yep.

“I [Ra’s] had a vision.  Of Gotham in flames.”  *sits back in seat*  I’m done...

Who the hell...

“Together, we can make that happen.”  Ohhhhh....

“Well, I [Jeremiah] appreciate the offer, but recent events have convinced me of the benefits of working alone.”  You have a girlfriend.

Go to hell, Ra’s!

Just so you know, Jeremiah, you’re holding your gun way off.  His arms are like super close to him; they should be fully extended when he holds the gun.  Dude!

AN:  His hair? WACK!  His gear?  WACK!  His jewelry?  WACK!  His foot stance?  WACK!  The way that he talks?  WACK!  The way hat he doesn't even like to smile?  WACK! 

“Because, my boy, all this is not just about Gotham.”  You are so full of shit, Ra’s.

‘Course it’s not...

“This is about Bruce Wayne.”  Because everything in this GODDAMN SHOW IS ABOUT Bruce Wayne!

Gaaaahhhhhh...

“[Lee] Leave Gotham.  Start a new life somewhere else.”  A day late and a dollar short, Jim.

Wait, leave Gotham?  The evacuation’s still going.

“But whatever happens after I [Jim] walk out that door, I care about you [Lee].  And I always will.”  *puts hand to chest*

And the actors are married and you can teeeell!

God dang it, I hate this.

FRICKINNNNN’-

Go away, Ed!

NOOOOOOOOOOOO... go away...

Mr.  Nygma, I formally invite you to eat from the bag of infinite dicks.

“Give it up for Harvey Bullock.”  Yaaayyy!  Yes, cheer for this man!

*both clap for Harvey*

After all the shit he’s had to put up with!

“Well, I'm [Alfred] gonna take a very long and a very hot shower.”  Yes!

*leans all the way back in seat, thinking about the ending*

Are you OK?

No, I’m nooottt...

*Selina props her legs up on Bruce*  Aaawww!

Oh oh oh oh...

Kiss.  Kiss.  Kiss.

*both start chanting “KISS” then cheer once Bruce kisses Selina*

Ohhhh man... they’re just ticking all the boxes for “How Do We Comfort the Audience After All the Shit They Just Saw?”

*laughs in pain knowing what happens next*

“Why do you [Bruce] think he's [Jeremiah] so obsessed with you?”  Some shit!

*both laugh*

God, this was grueling!

*both yell when Jeremiah strolls in*

*both yell in horror when Jeremiah shoots Selina*

YOOOUUU- NO, NONONONO!

She’s fine though!  She’s fine, because she has the um, the nine lives!  [Selina] You’re good!  You’re good, honey!

*Alfred beats the crap out of Jeremiah*  Gooo Alfred, gooo!

BEAT.  HIS.  ASS!

Go Alfred go Alfred go Alfred-

Please, c’mon!  C’mon!

*both sigh in frustration when the episode ends*

[Expletive]... this... episode...