#alfred pennyworth

[incorrect-batfam-quotes-mostly]

Alfred, to Bruce: Now I know you SAY that the Batcave has kept everything up to code, but I recently spoke to a very reliable source-

Robin Dick:  hi  (:

Alfred: - and he has informed me that the floor is, in fact, lava. Which, I don’t need to tell you, is a pretty serious safety violation.

[randombatcharts]

I saw it and thought it was fitting.i did debate on Tim’s placement a bit though before putting him there

[gffa]

Bruce not wanting to dance at random with people just vying for his attention because DANCING WAS SOMETHING HE DID WITH HIS MOM excuse me I'm going to go fling myself into the sun.

[incorrectbatfam]

Who would use the Gotham grape 3 in 1 after patrol?

Gotham Grape: Damian, Bruce

Spidey Power Punch: Duke, Carrie, Bette

Iron Man: Jason, Tim, Cullen, Stephanie, Cassandra, Barbara, Harper, Kate, Helena, Luke, Alfred, Selina

Bluey: Dick

[mylitlekitten]

Head cannon where Tim loves to play the song "Another one bites the dust" whenever someone dies

At some point or another every single person in the bat family has died or been assumed dead. Because of this, Tim's coping mechanism is to loudly play "Another one bites the dust" throughout the Manor whenever another one of them dies (they'll be back soon anyway cause no one in that family knows how to stay dead).

Addition: Tim crashes his own funeral blasting this song

Priest: *saying whatever priestly funeral things they say*

Bat family gathered around the grave, wearing respectful funeral clothes (even Jason who Alfred had to literally drag to the funeral), heads bowed (Dick is crying---probably, you get the idea). They lift their heads as they hear loud music playing in the distance and watch as a very nice car that looks eerily like one of Bruce's sports cars pulls up. Silence falls on the gathering as they all stare at--- a very much alive---Tim, who is wearing sunglasses and is indeed driving one of Bruce's sports cars. Tim pauses the music, tipping his sunglasses down.

Tim: It's Britney, bitch!

[brucewaynehater101]

Okay but Bruce going to the kitchen and telling Alfred that he’s going to go on patrol and Alfred just looking him up and down like “and what did Master Timothy say about that?” and Bruce just pouting like “he said no” and Alfred nodding like “exactly.If you choose to leave it will be without my permission and with the knowledge that I will not be hiding your little excursion from him.” and bruce huffing before going back to his room to rest cuz of his broken bones.

My gods, I legit chuckled out loud at work about this. Alfred and Tim coparenting Bruce while the man is oblivious to the very obvious signs is hilarious. He's acting like a child in this which makes the need for parenting even more obvious.

It's also humorous that your version has Bruce trying to pit his parents against each other and Alfred shutting that down quick. The fact that Bruce accepts Tim finding out as a bad enough consequences to not go out? Cherry on top.

I would also love to see the batkids start to notice that Bruce asks Tim for permission. It's not always a verbal response, so they miss it at first. Eventually, they start seeing that Bruce makes eye contact with Tim before doing certain actions. Tim will either narrow his eyes, not react, or very slightly smile. A few times he has even nodded.

This could be misconstrued at first as Tim being trusted the most out of all the batkids when it's really that Tim will make Bruce's life a living hell if he's not behaving. Tim worked hard for Bruce to (unknowingly) respect Tim as authority figure in his life

[groovyace]

Hello if you draw AK Jason being/doing something soft and being happy I'll keep that image in a little cabinet in my heart forever and ever and ever

[frownyalfred]

still thinking about that time in Injustice when Clark broke Bruce’s back to incapacitate (but not kill) him, and then tortured him for information by digging his foot and weight into the broken vertebrae.

like holy fuck, Clark. you deserved the ass whooping Alfred gave you right after that and more. also since when does torturing Bruce of all people for information work?

[killme2pls]

Bruce: The other day, Jason said that black wasn't my color, and that I looked like a Victorian-era child sick with influenza. Alfred literally spit out his tea, and Dick fell off the counter from laughing so hard.

I am still shaken to my very center, for multiple reasons.

[maybe-in-another-universe]

i hc that in a way bruce and batman are two separate entities. i like to think that batman only put up that display in the cave after jason died because all robin was to batman was a soldier, a partner, a role. but bruce? bruce lost a son. the manor is filled with jason’s essays from school (his favorites of course) framed on the walls. his report card is still hung up on the fridge and his prized possession, jason’s annotated copy of pride and prejudice, weathered with love, remains on display in bruce’s office, where he likes to flip through it when he misses him more than usual.

[minervacystal35]

dick's version on his family belike

[violent138]

The last time Tim was really nice to Damian because Alfred asked, Damian snuck up on him, splashed him with Zamzam, and recited Surah Al-Fatiha.

[finemealprompt]

DP x DC Prompt #25

Hobson wasn’t the Fenton’s butler for long, but he was their butler long enough to become … concerned. Specifically, for a certain black-haired teenager.

However, he didn't know the best way to go about stepping in on this situation. So, instead he calls a friend. Surely Alfred will know what to do.

[forgotten-daydreamer]

Alfred: Master Dick, welcome back. I've drawn you a nice, warm bath.

Dick, on his first week as Robin: ...what's a h

[nana-mizu-shiki]

It was the natural progression of living as a Bat.

So it would be Damian's job to be Danny's Alfred.

Yes.

[crowned-aeris]

Mermay's almost upon us.... are y'all ready for my ~17.9k words of fluff and angst? 🥰

Featuring:

Bruce Wayne as King of Gotham

Dick as a Mer

Jason as a Selkie

Tim as a Siren

Damian as the Prince of Two Kingdoms

Special Appearances Include:

Clark Kent as Fellow King

Conner & Jonathan Kents

Alfred as Head Butler

and MANY many more! Tune in on May 1st for Part 1, Chapter One, of my 2024 MerMay writing challenge :3

Here is the bingo i'll be following:

by @skumhuu so check them out!