#his food just comes out either a lil too rare or bland

[dokukoi]

noeren doodles

[kpopfromtheblock]

a/n ⇾ to be honest with you all, this isn’t my best work but i’m posting it anyways because it took me forever to write and i know there are a few readers who were waiting for this installment… although it’s not my favorite, i hope you still enjoy it! friendly reminder: if you click the title, it will take you to the series masterlist <3 thanks for reading! 

LIFE WITH BANGTAN | ot7

004

genre ⇾ comedy (bts crack? i guess) + fluff

pairing ⇾ bts x fem reader

summary ⇾ you’re not great at cooking but you’re not the worst either and one night you have the brilliant idea to cook for the boys… unfortunately for you, some of them are not impressed by your cooking skills.

warning ⇾ the usual: swearing, a lil’ dash of cringy-ness, idfk… it’s shit show.

words ⇾ 4,9k 

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“Fuck!” You mumble to yourself as one of four pots on the stove begin to boil over in front of you. You rush to turn the heat down in order to stop the water from spilling out and onto the floor. 

You’ve already made a mess of the kitchen… Run-away vegetables scattered across the counters, sauces splattered on the tiled floor and kitchen mats… 

Jin is going to kill you when he sees the state of his kitchen but you don’t really have time to worry about it. You have very crucial task at hand: Cook dinner for seven very hungry men. 

You lift your arm up and use the sleeve of the oversized hoodie you’re wearing, that previously belonged to Jimin, to wipe the sweat off your forehead.

‘Do people normally sweat this much when they cook?’ You sigh heavily before picking up the large knife, which you’re sure is not meant for chopping veggies, off the counter. 

You begin cutting up the remainder of carrots you have laying on a wooden cutting board. 

When you’re done, you stand there for a few minutes and stare at the orange vegetable in disbelief... “This doesn’t look right.” You say out loud as you drop the knife and grab your iPad that was propped up against a container of sugar. 

You are trying to follow a recipe that your Mother so kindly sent to you via email. She was so thorough that she even included pictures of what the food was supposed to look like before, during and after. 

Though you were a bit thrown off by the length of the email, you weren’t in the least bit surprised… You expected nothing less from your Mom, as she is the head chef and partial owner (alongside your Father) of a well-known restaurant back in your hometown…  Her line of work kind of requires her to be thorough. 

The carrots in the picture your mom emailed you, look nothing like the carrots you just finished cutting.

Your carrots are cut into weird shapes. Some too big, others too small. Some are not peeled correctly, others are peeled so thinly that you could almost see-through them, where as your Mother’s carrots were cut to perfection. 

All the same circular shape and about the same thickness.

‘How did I manage to fuck up cutting carrots?’ You think. You were embarrassed with yourself.

If only Jin were in here to see you now. He’d probably laugh loudly in your face then try to repair the damage you’ve made but luckily for you, you were successful in forcing Jin and the rest of the guys into the confinement’s of Taehyung’s room.

Tae’s room was the largest in the dorm and could fit all seven members comfortably. 

It was also the furthest away from the kitchen which meant that you were able to work in peace without any of them prying over your shoulder or so you thought. 

Jin came in twice and Yoongi, once to check on you and see if you needed help… You rejected them both, determined to finish cooking all your own. 

A whole hour has passed now and you are regretting your decision to turn their help away but you have too much pride to ask for help now especially since you were the one who offered to cook in the first place…

You remember it like it was yesterday: 

After a long day of work and practice, the eight of you piled into a van to head back to the dorm for the night. You spent the day playing BTS’ personal assistant as their usual assistant (who just so happen to be your older cousin) had called out because of a family emergency. 

You were no stranger to being a P.A. for the boys as you were the one who took over when your cousin had gone on Maternity leave… Working for Big Hit was obviously how you met the idols (but thats a story for another time). 

Although Big Hit Ent has a shit ton of staff members that could have filled in, your cousin had request that you be her back up if anything happened to where she couldn’t make it into work. 

Big Hit had agreed to your cousin’s request, not only because she is a well respected senior member of BTS’ staff but also because you were exceptional at the job. 

You handled the boys’ schedules and tasks with such care and attention to detailed that the company offered to hire you full time but when things started to get serious between yourself and the guys, you turned down the position, wanting to be with them more than wanting to make money from the company. Plus being a P.A. wasn’t what you wanted to do for the rest of your life… No matter how well it paid… It wasn’t your passion.

It was a rare occasion that you got a call from Big Hit to come into the office for the day but when you did, you jump at the opportunity because it was a way for you to spend more time with your boyfriends and it was a nice little break from working in the small, very noisy and sometimes smelly Vet’s office you usually worked in… 

“Okay kids. Buckle up.” You say enthusiastically as up slip into the drivers seat and shut the door after you. 

You felt bad that either Jin, Hoseok or Jungkook would’ve had to drive home after having a full day of practice… You saw how hard they worked and you knew that without a doubt, their bodies were sore and worn out from the day so you offered to push the whip back to their dorm in order to give them some time to rest. 

Of course Jin was the only one to argue with you for five whole minutes about driving. He insisted that he wasn’t tired and maybe that was true but still… You didn’t want to hear it. 

You dismissed him and stole the van keys right out of his hand. He knew he had lost the argument once the keys were in your possession. 

Yoongi sat in the passengers side, while the others piled into the back. You finished strapping on your seat belt then went ahead to put the key in the ignition so you could start the van. 

The ride home was relaxing. 

Namjoon had fallen asleep fairly early on during the ride. He was sat beside Jin who scrolling through his phone in the very back seat. 

Hoseok was sat in the middle seat, closest to the window. His head thrown back and his lips slightly parted as his chest rose and fell softly. He was out like a light, much like Namjoon was. Jimin and Taehyung were beside him, Jimin in the middle. The two younger boys conversed amongst themselves and Yoongi was sat beside you, curled into himself against the window, snoring quietly. 

You were keeping your eyes focused on the road while the sounds of the men’ around you, kept you relaxed.

“I’m hungry.” Taehyung suddenly mentions. “Me too.” Jimin chimed in. “Do you guys want me to stop somewhere?” You asked, looking back at them through the rearview mirror. “Or Jin could make us something when we get back home?” Tae suggested, looking back at the older male with hopeful eyes. 

They really enjoy Jin’s cooking. He doesn’t cook that often for them anymore since they’ve been so busy and he hasn’t had time to cook a full meal.

Long practices and busy schedules usually mean they have to either eat out or order in… 

The boys long for a home cooked meal. 

You take a minute to glance at Jin’s face through the mirror again… You can see how tired his eyes are and you suddenly felt a bit of guilt pushing against your chest. You know he’s exhausted and to have to go home and cook a meal for the eight of you, at this time of night? It’s a bit much. 

“I can cook...” You offered. The words left your mouth before you really had time to process them in your head... 

Jin, Jimin and Tae all snap their heads over to you. 

When you don't hear any responses from them, you took a quick look up. You don't miss the way their faces twist in a mixture of amusement and confusion, before placing your eyes back on the road. “What?” You asked, genuinely puzzled by their facial expressions. 

“You’ll cook?” Tae asked, just to make sure he heard you correctly. “Yeah…” Your voice is quiet and laced with uncertainty but it was too late for you to take back your words back. “Dinner? You’ll cook dinner?” It was Jimin’s voice you heard this time. “Yes.” You said sternly. “For us?” Jin questioned you again in disbelief. “Oh my god! Yes!” You semi-shout. 

You felt a bit annoyed with them for asking you the same questions. You were just offering to cook dinner for them, not build them a boat… Why are they so pressed about it?

You look over at Yoongi to make sure you hadn’t woken him as he was the closest to you and when you saw that he hadn’t moved from his position, you continued. 

“I’ll cook dinner. For you all. Tonight. Why are you guys being so weird about it?”

“Because you never offer to cook.” Tae reminded you. 

“Thats not true! I always offer, Jin always says no.” 

“That’s because you’re not good at cooking Princess.” Jin is blunt and it kind of throws you off guard but then you realize he does have a bit of a point. You’re not the best at cooking but you have the basics down and you can make a mean pot of ramen… That counts right?

“I know how to cook.” You tried defend yourself but even you know the words sound bland leaving your lips. “Baby, putting rice in the cooker and turning it on is not cooking.” Jimin told you in a matter of fact tone. A little gasps leaves your lips at his insult. 

‘How dare he!’ You think to yourself. 

You rolled your eyes when you heard Taehyung chuckling next to Jimin.

“Mr. Jimin…” You said warningly. “Don’t you start with me. You barely know how to boil water…” You clapped back at him. Taehyung is throwing his head back whilst holding his stomach. He is laughing so hard, his shoulders are visibly shaking. He loves with you and Jimin bicker with each other. It’s the funniest thing in the world to him. 

“Out of the two of us, I am the better cook.” You said confidently. 

“My bullshit senses are tingling.” Jimin joked and you scoffed at him. 

“How about tomorrow tonight?” Jin suddenly suggests, causing both you and Jimin to cease your petty arguing.“Why not tonight? I really don’t mind.” You told them, shrugging your shoulders��nonchalantly.

 Now you were determined to prove a point to Jimin. You were the better cook. You have to be… Your mom is a chef for crying out loud, knowing how to cook should be in your DNA

“Well, we’ll have to stop at a grocery store, right? To get ingredients and it’s a bit late to start cooking now so how about we go home and order something then tomorrow you can cook for us? Sound good?” Jin asked you and you nod your head in agreement. “Tomorrow it is.” You said. 

You were sure you’d be able to cook a perfectly good meal for your boyfriends. Cooking isn’t hard. You were knowledgeable about the basics and you’ve seen Jin cook plenty of times too. 

’It’ll be fine.’ You think to yourself, boy were you wrong…

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The rice cooker beeps loudly behind you. You turn away from the stove and walk over to the counter to shut the cooker off. You open the lid then take up the paddle spoon. You scoop up some of the rice and pop it in your mouth. It’s steaming hot and it almost burns your tongue but you chew with caution then swallow. You smile happily at the taste. “If all else fails, at least there’s rice.” You giggle to yourself as you think about how you should get those words printed on a t-shirt or something.. And you know Yoongi, Jin and Taehyung would agree with you because the four of you have been dubbed (by the rest of the boys), the official rice fairies since you all eat it some much.

“It smells good…” You’re startled by the sound of Jungkook’s voice. You whip your body around to see him lifting one of the pot covers. 

Were you so impressed by your rice cooking skills that you didn’t notice him slide into the kitchen behind you. “Jungkook!” You slap his hand and he drops the pot lid, it falls perfectly back into place. “Get your ass out of here!” You say sternly. You put your hand on his shoulder and begin to push him away from the stove. 

You’re strong but not as strong as him and your small hand is no match for his large shoulder. When you push him, he barely moves an inch. 

“But I’m hungry~” Jungkook whines and you can’t fight the smile that forms on your lips at the cute way he drags his words. 

“And Namjoon won’t let me eat any of my snacks… He says it’ll ruin my dinner.” Jungkook complains as he turns he’s body around to face you. His tall frame towers over your shorter one. 

“Joon is right and I’m almost done Kookie.” You try to reassure him but the look on his face tells you that it isn’t working. 

“How much longer?” He asks as he turns his body to finally face you.

“Twenty minutes.” You say, looking up at him adoringly.

“But you said twenty minutes, when Jin came in to check on you an hour ago.” He protests and you chuckle. “Kookie…” You call sweetly as you step closer to him. You wrap your arms around his waist and press your face to his chest. Maybe a little affection and sweet talk will do the trick… “I promise I’m almost done. If I’m not finished in twenty minutes, you have permission to eat all your snacks. Okay?” You look up at him to find that he is already staring down at you. When your eyes meet his, he quickly looks away in that cute way he does when he knows he’s been caught staring. You giggle and you can see a smirk forming on his lips as he tries to avoid eye contact. He wants to be upset with you because of how long you’re taking with dinner but he can’t…

“Do we have a deal?” You ask him, keeping your eyes on his sharp jawline. 

When Jungkook realizes that you aren’t going to stop staring his glorious side profile, he looks down at you. “Fine. But please move faster. We’re all starving and I think Yoongi s going to bit off Jin’s head soon because he keeps talking.” Jungkook informs you and you nod. “Okay, okay. I’m going as fast as I can.” You tell him. You stand on your toes to peak his lips. “Now go.” You say whilst patting his butt a few times as a way to usher him out of the kitchen so you can get back to work.

Two hours pass and you’re finally done cooking. You can’t believe it’s taken you two whole hours to cook fiour dishes that you started all at the same time. It has never taken Jin this long to cook anything and that’s a dead giveaway that you’ve screwed something up… 

After you finish setting the table, you call for the boys. They youngest members come tumbling into the dinning room with the older ones following closely behind. “Wow~” Jimin and Jungkook say in unison as they see the meals you’ve prepared for them… It looks and smells amazing but the taste is the most important thing and you aren’t sure you’ve done such a good job in that department… You’re almost positive you haven’t.

“Look! There’s rice!” Taehyung points excitedly at the huge bowl full of steaming hot white rice. “The seaweed soup looks so delicious.” Hoseok comments and you smile at his words. “Does it?” You ask eagerly. Hobi nods at you then walks over to kiss the top of your head, lovingly. “I’m sure it’ll taste great.” he assures you. “Wow, look at the pork belly.” Namjoon has hearts in his eyes as he sees the mountain of juicy pork belly sitting on a plate. 

You are starting to feel a little bit more confident about your cooking since the reaction from your boys so far has been good but you have to keep in mind that they haven’t actually tasted anything yet.

You look over at Yoongi when you hear him chuckling from where he stands. Even though you have no idea what he’s laughing about, you smile at him. “Whats so funny?” You question. “We’re acting like we’ve never seen these kinds of foods before.” Yoongi explains and it causes the rest of the boys to laugh too. “It’s because we’re starving…” Namjoon says and you immediately feel guilty for taking so long to cook them a proper meal. 

You know they must be starving. “Well, the wait is over. Eat!” You encourage them as you take the empty seat in between Jungkook and Hoseok. 

The boys begin to fill their plates. You’re too nervous to eat, so you just sit there and watch, like a creep. “You’re not eating Angel?” Hoseok asks you as he scoops some rice into his plate. “You guys eat first.” You use your hands to urge him into adding more food to his plate. 

Jungkook uses his chopsticks to grab a piece of pork then he pops it into his mouth. You smile as he hums contently while he chews. “How is it?” You ask him, expectingly. He’s silent for a little bit while he chews but after he swallows, he smiles and gives you two thumbs up. “Really?! Two thumbs?” You exclaim and Jungkook nods his head. He begins filling his plate with more meat. “Wow, not one but two thumbs up.” You say in amazement. Receiving two thumbs up from Jungkook is big accomplishment for you. 

“Cooking pork belly is easy though.” Jimin says sourly in an attempt to tease you. You cut your eyes at him before sitting up straight in your seat, ready to give him a piece of your mind. “Listen here…” You start. “Don’t try to discredit me! Let me have this victory, okay!” You say sternly and he holds his hands up in defense, giving you a small smirk.

Park Jimin just loves to rile you up.

Hoseok goes for a piece of pork this time. He takes a few minutes to chew before his eyes widen like saucers. Your stomach drops, thinking he’s in shock because of how bad it taste but you’re wrong… “Delicious.” He tells you and now your the one with the widening eyes. “Seriously!?” You ask in disbelief and he nods. “Holy shit.” You mumble under your breath, as you sit back in your seat. You are stunned. 

Two out of seven have given you praises on your food. You can’t believe it… You thought for sure, they would’ve banned you from the kitchen after tasting one bite.

You feel proud that you managed to cook something that the boys seem to be enjoying. You were sitting high on your horse at this point but little did you know… You were about to get kicked right off… 

Whilst you are conversing with Hoseok and Namjoon, Jimin is scooping a hefty amount of seaweed soup into a bowl you provided for him. He is excited to eat it as he hasn’t had seaweed soup in a while. He was looking forward to it. 

He dips his spoon into the hot liquid then puts it up to his mouth to cool it quickly before shoving the spoon in. The soup hits his tongue and he immediately cringes at the taste. He shakes his head whilst sticking his tongue out, trying to rid his taste buds of the bitterness. 

Jimin is so distraught by the bad soup that he doesn’t notice the way Taehyung is staring at him with a concerned expression, having seen the way he reacted to your soup. 

When Jimin finally gets over the taste, he turns his head to face Tae. He has warn the younger boy about the soup… 

“What?” Tae mouths to Jimin, not wanting to bring attention to the two of them. “It’s bad.” Jimin mouths back immediately. 

If anyone were looking at them from the outside, they would think the two were communicating telepathically. 

“What’s bad?” Tae ask, his eyebrows crinkling in confusion.  

“The soup.” Jimin points at the bowl with his spoon. “The soup is bad?” Tae mouths again, slightly shocked by the news he’s hearing.

In response, Jimin just takes his spoon and dips it into his bowl, gathering the broth. He then brings the spoon up to Tae’s mouth. Tae leans forward to taste the liquid… He lets the soup swish around in his mouth before swallowing… He frowns when he realizes that the soup, is indeed very bad. “Aw..” He says sadly, feeling extremely disappointed. He too was excited about getting to eat some seaweed soup but after tasting it, he doesn’t feel the same. 

Jimin releases a chuckle at Tae’s reaction then covers his mouth quickly, hoping no one heard him. “Give some to Yoongi.” Jimin encourages Tae, wanting to see the older males reaction to the taste of your soup. 

You’re conversation with Joon and Hobi comfortably subsides when you see Jin, who is sitting at the end of the table, takes a spoon full of the seaweed soup you’ve slaved over. He pushes the spoon into his mouth and lets the warm liquid wash over his taste buds… You’re staring intently at him, after all, his reaction will be the most precious for you as he’s the cook in the house… You don’t miss the way his adam’s apple bobs as he swallows slowly, his nose scrunches up and then he clears his throat. 

This isn’t the reaction you were expecting… 

You can hear Jimin who is sitting across from you, quietly dying of laughter and Tae who is beside him, trying to stifle his own laughter… 

“Well?” You ask. He still hasn’t commented on the food but if his facial expression is anything to go by, you’re sure he’s disgusted by the taste. 

“It’s awful, isn’t it?” You want Jin to confirm what you already know is true which is that soup taste horrible and you’re the worst cook ever. Your previous confidents has gone all the way out the window now. “It’s.. Uh—” Jin starts but stops as he racks his brain for the right words to say. He doesn’t want to hurt your feelings but he can’t deny that the soup taste a bit odd. 

“It’s disgusting... You can say it.” You tell him as you pout, disappointed in yourself…

“No Princess… It’s just—” Jin begins again but is soon cut off by Yoongi’s voice. “It’s the worst seaweed soup Ive ever tasted…” He say bluntly and Jimin burst out into laughter. “It’s so bitter. There’s no flavor… It’s like you just boiled water for two hours then added the seaweed in last minute.” Yoongi’s savage confession causes you to freeze in your seat. 

You sit there dumbfounded, your mouth slightly agape… 

‘Is he really going to embarrass me like this in front of the rest of the guys?’ You internally ask yourself

Of course he is. 

“I mean did you even add sesame oil and where’s the beef?” He continues. “C’mon Kitten. This isn’t it…” He says, almost as if he’s disappointed in you. 

Jimin is laughing so hard that theres no sound coming out of his mouth. He is clutching his stomach in attempt to stop the cramping. Tae is trying to avoid eye contact in order to keep it together. He doesn’t want to laugh in your face like Jimin is doing but it’s hard not to when you are sitting there looking like a deer caught in head lights… 

“Is it really bad?” Jungkook is curious. He picks up his spoon and scoops it into the pot of soup. When he feels he has enough on his spoon, he brings it to his mouth to taste. 

He doesn’t react the way the other do. Instead, he slowly places the utensil down and turns to look at you. “Yeah~” He drags out his word. “I’m sorry baby but, it’s pretty bad.” He admits as he brings his hand up to pat your shoulder, feeling sorry for you. 

Namjoon and Hoseok are the only ones holding it together but, you’re sure they won’t last much longer.

Your face is warmer than usual… You are embarrassed beyond belief and it doesn’t stop there. 

“I mean… I wasn’t going to say anything but…” Namjoon speaks up and you snap your head over to his direction. 

‘Not him too.’ You think. 

“The rice cakes aren’t good either.” He adds. “You’ve got to be kidding me?” You’re flabbergasted. You knew that it wasn’t going to taste phenomenal but you didn’t think they would insult your cooking this badly. “Taste it.” Yoongi demands. He needs you to taste it so you can see that it’s the truth they’re telling you. Your soup sucks. 

Yoongi scoops up some of the broth and leans across the table. He holds the spoon to your lips and you open your mouth for him to feed you. 

The minute the liquid touches your tongue, you wince… Not only because it’s still hot but because it actually does taste horrible. “Oh my god.” You groan, wanting to take back the decision you’ve made to cook in the first place. “It’s so bitter.” You gag, sticking your tongue out dramatically, much like Jimin had done earlier. “So. Fucking. Bitter.” Yoongi nods his head. The room falls silent, expect for the quiet chuckling you hear every few seconds from across the table.

“This is so embarrassing.” You say more to yourself than to the men around you as you look down at your empty plate.

When you look up, all seven men have their eyes on you. The smirks on their faces are priceless… They are trying so hard not to hurt your feelings by laughing. 

“It’s okay… You can laugh.” You give them permission and they don’t even spare you for another second as they all burst into laughter. Jimin is now laughing so hard that he can’t see because his eyes are blurred with tears. 

“I can’t believe you spent two hours cooking just for it to taste this bad.” Jin says through chuckles… You don’t fight the smile that is starting to form on your face… As disappointed as you are, you can’t help but find it funny that you’ve failed so terribly. 

Plus, it’s hard not to laugh when the boys are laughing so hysterically at you. Their laughs are infectious.

“Hey!” You shout over their loud mouths. “At least we have pork belly and rice.” You remind them. “That came out okay.” You utter quietly, the embarrassment creeping it’s way back into your system.

“Yeah!” Namjoon chimes in. “Cut Baby girl some slack! She tried.” He defends you and you smile gratefully at him. “Thank you Joonie.” You say sweetly and he winks at you. 

“Okay, okay.” Jin says, trying to calm everyone else down. 

“This wasn’t a complete fail and we appreciate your efforts Princess.” He commends you. “Thank you Jinnie.” You say contently. 

“Of course Princess.” 

“So… What are we going to do with all this soup and spicy rice cakes? Because I won’t be eating it.” You ball up your napkin and throw it at Jimin’s head after he speaks.

“Shut up.” You groan and he laughs teasingly. “Leave her alone.” Tae speaks, although he is still chuckling. 

“I’m sorry okay but why did you offer to cook when you know you can’t?” Jimin raises questioning brow at you.

“I was just trying to do something nice…” You admit.

“And we appreciate it Angel.” Hoseok is sincere with his word. He grabs your hand under the table and gives it a little squeeze. The gesture makes you feel a little bit better. 

You sigh and sit up straight in your seat, finally deciding to accept your defeat. 

“Maybe I should just stick to rice and ramen…” You say out loud. “I like that idea!” The boys clap simultaneously. “Rice and ramen is a good.”  Jimin pips up and you giggle. “And pork belly too.” Jungkook adds. “The pork belly really is delicious.” He pops another piece into his mouth. 

‘Glad I did something right.’ 

You gaze at the food on the table. You’ve only made four dishes but you’ve made a lot… Literally so much. You start to feel sick looking at it.

“Seriously… What to do with this big ass pot of soup?” You ask.  

“Don’t you have someone at school you hate? A professor or something… Give it to them.” You burst into laughter at Jungkook’s suggestion. 

“Thats not nice Kookie… Why would I purposefully bring someone food that taste bad?” 

“But you can poison us just fine with this so called seaweed soup? You heartless woman.” Jimin jokes. You leap up out your seat and dash yourself around the table to attack him but he gets up before you can get to him. He runs towards his bedroom. “I’m going to kill you when I catch Park Jimin.” You yell as begin chasing him around the house. 

You are too preoccupied with trying to beat up Jimin, that you don’t notice when Jin picks up your disaster of a soup and brings back over to the stove. 

While he tries his best to save the meal you’d destroyed,  he thinks of maybe getting you some at-home cooking lesson for your birthday…