#his love and overall care/protectiveness of jake is so real and personal to me

[quietmyfearswith]

thorned flowers ; andy barber x fem!reader

status — completed oneshot

word count —8,528  words

summary — in which andy barber mourns the loss of his family, until he finds another reason to be hopeful for the future.

warnings —SMUT, DARK THEMES, stalking, drugging (like putting some fertility things in their food and drink, oral (female receiving), unprotected penetrative sex, andy being sad, SOFT!DARK!ANDY, dubious pregnancy/breeding

pairing — soft!dark!andy barber x fem!florist!reader

a/n — DNI IF YOU ARE UNDER 18!,, this is my entry for @imanuglywombat​‘s “is that even a sex position” challenge. and the certain position was the special breakfast(you can find it liked in the smut part)... anyway here is the second oneshot for my folklore series! next is either a oneshot for the same series or a preference... feedback is appreciated!

tagging — @la-cey​ @pedropcl​ @iloveshawnieboi​

masterlist | series masterlist | join my taglist (please follow the rules)

As Andy drove closer and closer to the graveyard, he felt the sweat from his hands drop onto the steering wheel — making it even more difficult for him to grip onto the leather. The last time he visited Jacob was when they buried him a few months ago; the pain was too much for him to bear, making it difficult for him to go and visit his deceased son — the son he loved, cared for, and protected. The son whom he once had precious memories with was now gone.

It wasn’t that he had fully grieved his loss, but he was getting there. But he didn’t just lose his son in that fateful accident that happened nine months ago, he had lost — or more accurately, divorced — Laurie when she confessed that she still had doubts about Jacob’s innocence and crashed the car for she couldn’t believe the monster her son had become. Every ounce of self-control was used by Andy the moment he got the chance to speak with his ex-wife in the middle of her hearing; every curse word he knew was thrown at her for her brutal actions that led to his untimely death.

Now as he faces the aftermath of every single thing that has transpired over the past months, he couldn’t help but feel empty. Happiness was something he longed for; he once had it all, but a series of events reversed that situation quickly. He would do anything to once again look forward to going home, knowing that he had a loving wife and joyful child; instead of coming home to his house filled with silence and agony for it serves as a reminder of what he once had.

Well, maybe not what he had — it wasn’t perfect and the ideal picture he always dreamt way back then. A fresh start, he thought silently, a new start with someone who can fulfill my dreams.

Parking in parallel, Andy looked to see if there were oncoming cars before going down to enter the flower shop. The soft bell that hung above let out a small chime as he opened the door, his blue eyes scanning the different floral arrangements that were littered across the store. Roses, lilis, orchids, sunflowers — all of them looked and smelt lovely. It made him smile how pleasing to the eyes every bouquet was, making it difficult for him  to choose what to get.

“Hi! How can I help you?” A voice spoke up which made Andy turn his attention to the girl wearing overalls who just came from the back room. Once he quickly took in her appearance, though her face sweat a bit and her overalls had patches of greens thanks to the plants, he thought she looked adorable and cleared his throat, “I was hoping to buy some flowers.”

Smiling widely, she wiped her forehead with a towel draped on her shoulder as she said, “I’m happy to help,” She stood by the shelves as she pointed through some flowers, “These have just been arranged today. Oh! And these lilacs and peonies just came in today, too.” Andy couldn’t help but chuckle softly upon seeing how cute her excited state was. “If you don’t mind me asking, what’s the occasion or for whom these flowers are? Just so I could suggest a few things to you,” She turned to him after listing some of the fresh flowers she had.

“It’s for my son, I’m visiting his grave today.” Y/N wanted to smack herself; her shop was located less than ten miles away from the nearest graveyard. His gloomy, silent aura should have been a clue on how he was mourning, she thought. “I’m so sorry to hear that, sir. How an arrangement of lilies and roses?”

Following her as she walked towards the opposite side of the store where a shelf containing an arrangement of lilies and roses were displayed. With a nod, Andy confirmed, “I’ll take that please.” Grabbing the vase, she excused herself to move onto the counter. Placing it on the wooden surface, she went to get a watering can to place some more water for the flowers. Wanting to talk with her more, he decided to initiate a conversation, “Slow day?”

Peering her eyes up as she returned the can, she nodded her head a bit, “We’ve had customers, but there’s no rush, you know?” Mindlessly, he bobbed his head up and down as she continued, “Some are for their wives, some for their mistresses — but don’t tell!” She placed her index finger on her lips to make her point and the lawyer couldn’t hold back his laughter anymore and shook his head at her goofiness.

“And you’re the first to buy then go to the cemetery, usually they don’t come this time of the day,” She gasped upon realizing what she said; as she punched in his total she didn’t have time to analyze what she said, “Oh my God, I’m so sorry about that, sir!”

Eyes widening at her apology, Andy wondered why she was saying sorry for, “What for?” Looking down as she played with the denim material of her outfit she muttered shyly, “Well you know, I didn’t mean to bring you up. Or the whole cemetery thing.”

Catching her drift, he nodded and genuinely smiled as he reassured her that he took no offense, “It’s alright, you didn't mean harm with it, yeah?” She nodded as she changed their topic before she could embarrass herself any further, “Your total comes to $26.25; how would you like to pay?”

“Credit,” He curtly replied as he took out his wallet from the back pocket of his jeans; as he was inserting the PIN, he found himself wondering why she suddenly meant all business. Staring at her focused expression which included her lips slightly pursued gave him a faint clue that perhaps she didn't want to embarrass herself any further.

“Here’s your receipt,” She slid the paper across the counter; as she placed her hands on the glass jar to move it closer towards the customer, Andy placed his on top of hers as he too made a move to grab the vase. Surprised with the warmth and spark she felt when their skins grazed against each other, the florist shyly smiled as she moved her hands away from the vase, “Thank you for visiting us, sir.”

“Andy,” He introduced himself as he carried the vase with one arm as the other extended to her direction, offering to shake hands, “And your name is?” She shook her hand as she gave him her name — the lawyer repeating it as he liked how it rolled off his tongue. Disentangling their hands, Y/N fiddled with her hands nervously as the attractive man waved at her one final time as he left the store, not before promising, “Gonna see you real soon, petal.”

Placing the floral arrangement on the front passenger side, Andy couldn’t help but feel giddy with himself as he jogged to the driver’s seat. “Y/N,” He repeated to himself as he began the drive to the cemetery. In their short, yet sweet interaction, he couldn’t help but feel lighter upon meeting her. Could this mean something? He wondered as to why he was feeling this way with her.

Once he found a decent parking spot, he went out of his car with the flowers and walked to where Jake rested. “Hey buddy, how you doing?” Placing the flowers by the stone where his name was engraved, he sat by the grass as Andy looked up in the sky. “I’ve been doing good, I think. Work keeps me busy and I’ve been doing some outdoor exercise as an excuse to get out of the house.”

Picking at the grass as he recalls what has happened the last nine months, “And I think your middle school named something after you. Though I wasn’t paying too close attention to know what it actually was — sorry about that, buddy. But your friend Sarah, she asked for some of your things and clothes. Think she has, or had, a crush on you,” Exhaling deeply as he paused, the lawyer couldn’t help but mourn about the endless possibilities and chances his son would have had if it wasn’t for her.

“Anyway, Laurie has been sending some letters. I don’t if I should read them — part of me wants too, I still want to know if she’s doing well. But there’s this part of me that wants nothing to do with her, because of what she’s done to you, us, and because of what she failed to do,” Hooking his chin on the palm of his hand as he could feel the slight sharpness of his elbow against his thigh, he contemplated a bit, “What do you think I should do, Jake?”

Grass slanted towards the east as sharp gusts of winds prickled Andy’s skin which made him smirk slightly as he looked at the name of his son, “I take that as I need to be the bigger person and reach out to your mother?” When the grass was left unmoving, it was seen as a confirmation that his son did want him to reconnect with her. Nodding to himself, he guaranteed he would do so, “Okay then, Jake. I’ll do so.”

A softer wind brushed and swayed the flowers he bought, making it look even more graceful than it already was — which reminded Andy of the woman he met earlier. “And I met someone earlier, on the way here, actually.” His lips formed into a smile as he thought of how charming and sweet she was as he was being accommodated ; he wondered something out loud, “Do you think I should do uh, what term did you use? Shot your shoot? No, it’s shoot your shot, right?” He scratched the back of his neck as he racked his brain remembering how he’d be teased for finding it difficult to familiarize himself with this decade’s lingo, “Anyway, she just seems so kind and welcoming; and there’s something about her that makes me feel like I could have a second chance at happiness.”

Should his headspace not have been in a remorseful one, he would have found it frightening how it seemed the wind only moved the arrangement of lilies and roses in an almost ludicrous fashion. Whether it was a sign his child had sent him or something his mind was making up, he interpreted it as a sign he should go for it. “Guess I will shoot my shot, Jake.”

Kneeling by the slab of marble, his thumb was rubbing against his son’s full name as Andy sadly smiled, “I love you, buddy. See you soon.” Standing up, he walked away and to his car feeling lighter. Being able to go to his son was progress for the lawyer as he was slowly coming to terms with the events that happened. Reaching out to Laurie was also another way of him acknowledging the past and coming to terms with — and it would probably give him the closure he needed as he ventured on to the future.

The future, he thought, seemed to be brighter right now. And the sole reason why he thought that way was because of someone he had just met. Normally he would be rolling his eyes at the thought of love at first sight; but now things are different since he’s a changed man. Hastily exiting his parked car, he entered through the back door where he discarded his shoes and socks by the doorway. Flipping his laptop open, he opened his browser and searched for the name of the flower shop he visited.

This was far from the usual search engines — like Google or Ecosia — for this allowed him to know every single thing there is to know about what he searched. Usually, he would use this solely for work; and this was the first time he ever used it for his own selfish reason. Not only the reviews, location, and services offered by the flower shop appeared on the screen after a few minutes. The business and clearance permits were shown; but so did the owner's name appear. “Y/F/N,” He read out loud as he highlighted her name and searched again.

Social media accounts, educational background, cell phone number, and her address shown up in an instant. A smile settled on his lips as he took in everything there was to learn about her. Part of him was glad that she didn’t post too much of herself online for he couldn’t see how pretty she was — but he considered it a good thing for it wouldn't attract anymore competition or creeps. Flowers filled her feed and by reading through each and every one of her posts, relief washed over him upon knowing that these were flowers she arranged and were not gifts to her by a beau.

Peeking at her phone records, he noticed how there had been only a few register of incoming and outgoing calls — the fact that her most called number was of a restaurant that delivers had been slightly concerning for him — and digging into her text history, there was no hints that she was in a relationship. As he searched for her address online, it was brought to his attention how she lived not too far from where he was residing, in just twenty minutes he could be over with her. As he closed his laptop it was clear to Andy how perfect Y/N was for him — and that she would be the perfect woman for him to build a family with.

Going to the living room, he grabbed for the letters sent by Laurie. There were a total of four, and until now he hasn’t opened a single one. After reading them he was relieved to find out that she was doing well and that she wasn’t being mistreated by anyone over there. She also has repeatedly apologized for what she has done. Fear and uncertainty were just some of the two overwhelming emotions that affected her decision-making. Sentiments of how she misses their son and long for how they once were.

Grabbing a pen and paper, Andy then wrote his own letter in response;

Laurie,

I apologize for taking too long to reach out to you — it took me a while to come to terms with everything that happened. What you did came as a shock to me. I never knew about how still had your apprehensions about Jacob. I wish you would have talked to me about it, or even to him.  Perhaps by doing so things would have been resolved better.

I won’t lie to you so I will just tell you that I believe it was harsh of you to end Jacob’s life like that. He had so much waiting for him — so much potential and fire within him, and to see it all disappear breaks my heart. After his trial ended, I thought of it as a chance for all of us to have a clean slate — granted it didn’t feel like it — and have the chance to redeem ourselves and build another life for all of us. But I didn’t imagine for it to be this way — us divorced while you’re in jail and our son buried six feet under.

Nevertheless, I won’t dwell on what has been. I will focus on the future. Speaking of, I would like to apologize as well for shoving the divorce papers in you. It might seem like a “heat of the moment” decision; but I think we both saw it coming. Having our marriage and relationship built on a lie, it all would have led to this moment — one way or another. It was neglectful of me to lay it on you when you already had your plate full, but I guess there was just really no perfect timing for it either, no?

The frequency of my letters to you might vary, but rest assured I will write to you as much as I can. I hope that you will find peace and safety despite your current situation. I wouldn’t fully say that I have forgiven you for what you did, but I am on the path of reaching that point.

Take care always, Andy

As he folded up the piece of paper and slid it on an envelope, Andy felt lighter. Somehow there this part of him knew how shitty the content was. But that was what he felt. What he wanted to tell Laurie. Sealing the envelope, he then pasted a stamp on it then stood up to place the letter on his coat jacket; that way he won’t forget to drop it off.

Returning to his work desk, he then looked over the information he had collected. Another thing that the letter made him feel was that he has already made closure with his past; and now he can venture on and look forward to the future. And he sees one with Y/N.

*

Having worked at a flower shop for almost five years, Y/N almost memorized the frequent visitors of the cemetery. She always engaged in polite conversations with them. Another thing is that she noticed a pattern as well. If one visits every week, it was a sign that they have yet to come to terms with the loss of their loved one. Once their visits became less frequent, say with two weeks in between, she took it as a sign that, slowly but surely, they were getting over their grief and sadness. And when the gaps between their visits stretched over a month or so, it showed that they had reached the final stage of grief — acceptance.

That’s why as much as she enjoyed her small talk with the customers — which ranged from their daily activity to workplace gossip — she felt fulfilled for them once their visit became less and less frequent than their initial ones. Besides, there were always new friends that she could make along the way. It just so happens that Andy happens to be one of her potential friends. Having never seen him before and their brief conversation, led her to believe that the death of his son was fairly recent.

“Hey, Y/N,” His warm, deep voice rang through her shop. Fortunately, she was in the front checking the sales so far when he entered. It was exactly seven days after he dropped by her shop on his way to the cemetery — and then her hunch was somewhat confirmed. “Hi, Andy. how are you?”

He carried with him a tray with a couple of drinks — one was his preference for coffee while the other was her favorite kind of drink to start off her day. Placing it on the counter he smiled at her, “Busy day?”  Placing down the clipboard she was holding she rested both her hands on the counter, “It was, yeah. Wedding bouquets, centerpieces for events, any occasion you can possibly think of suddenly needed flowers. Not that I’m complaining! But I'm just thankful I’m gonna be having a break in a few.”

Laughing at her dilemma he then casually brought up, “Well I was in the coffee shop earlier and they gave me a spare drink,” Pushing the cup of her favorite drink to her, he offered it to her, “Do you want it?” Not wanting to seem ungrateful, she brought the cup to her nose, she smelt it and was surprised to find out it smelt like her favored drink. Taking a sip a bit, she smiled after she placed it down, “Thank you so much for it, Andy!”

Hiding a smirk, he simply nodded at her as he took a sip out of his own drink too, “I have two orders of flowers for today. White carnations on a small vase, and yellow orchids on one of those small boxes,” He pointed behind her, where mounted on the wall were some packaging ideas for the flowers. Nodding her head, she pushed the hot beverage aside as she got to work.

A slow, melodious song played in the background; and the lawyer just found it even more adorable with how she hummed along to it. While working on his purchases, she shifted her gaze to look at him. However, she quickly turned away due to the intensity of his stare — no one had ever looked at her with so much interest. “Beautiful, isn’t it?” She cleared her throat, as she tried to diffuse the tension. With every move she made while cutting the orchids to fit the wooden box, she could feel his eyes trailing her in an instant, “It certainly is.” Her eyes were focused on trimming up the stems of the carnation, so she missed the way he was looking at her and not on the flowers.

Placing the trimmed up carnations on the vase, she then grabbed for the watering can to fill them up a bit with water. “Here you go, Andy,” She shyly declared as she was done with the yellow orchids and white carnations. Heading over to the  cash register to punch in the items, he spoke, “Do you have any plans for the rest of the day?”

Shaking her head no, “That’ll be $45.17,” She turned the card machine towards him, “No plans tonight. Just gonna be staying in. How about you?” After entering the card details he was asked for, he slid his card on his back pocket as he joked, “Well I’m gonna try and stay in with you then.”

Hearing her giggle made him wonder if she realized how serious he was. He truly wanted to be a part of her life; and she didn’t even know the effect she had on him. Handing him the receipt, Y/N watched closely how Andy only grabbed for the white carnations, “Andy? Are you forgetting these?”

As she held the yellow orchids, he shook his head and smiled warmly, “They’re for you. I’ve read somewhere that they represent friendship.” Taken aback with what he said, she nodded her head and confirmed, “They do, yeah.” A hand then reached over as it caressed her cheek before settling it under her chin, lifting her head a bit to stare at his passionate eyes, “And I hope that this is a start of a beautiful one.”

His thumb tapped her jaw softly before letting go and walking out of the store; it was only then that Y/N managed to let out a breath she didn’t realize was being bottled up inside her. Holding the box with one hand as the other patted the flower’s petal, she spoke to herself, “I really hope that it is the start of one.”

“I’m going out with Y/N tonight, Jake,” Andy told his son as he sat on the grass after placing the wonderful arrangement she made near his name. “Well, it’s not really a date. She wrote down on her schedule app that she’ll go to the grocery store today during her break. So I’ll just casually bump into her there.” It was incredible that with today’s technology he was able to even see what was in her phone. Using it to his advantage, he tried to pattern most of his schedule with hers; and so far this was the first one that lined up.

As his legs crossed, his hands were rubbing against his shin while recalling what the past week looked like for him, “I also finally wrote back to Laurie. The letter I wrote might have been shitty but it’s still been a struggle for me to put into words what I feel.”

Like the last time, a cool breeze of wind prickled his skin even as he wore a gray henley, “You’re right. It was harsh. But I’m hoping that as time goes on, I’ll be more of a friend to her.” He once again found himself staring at the flowers and smiled, “I’m gonna be honest and tell you that I was planning to divorce her either way. It just wasn’t working out anymore, bud.”

Memories of their fights that happened in the garage so Jacob wouldn’t have to see them yelling at each other flashed through his mind. “And somehow I can’t help but think that maybe Y/N would have been the perfect stepmother for you. She’s really nice and sweet. Based on what she listens to, I feel like you two would have gotten along well.” Once again his heart aches at the thought of how his son had his future right in front of him, and yet it was all snatched away from him.

Kneeling down, his fingertips brushed against Jacob’s name, “Anyway, gonna let you know how’d the date go next week. I love you, buddy.” Walking to his car, he felt giddy at the thought of going to the grocery store. He never imagined doing something so mundane would make him feel this way.

Noticing that the Oreos had a two for one deal, she didn’t hesitate to grab two packs. Pushing the grocery cart down, she was proud of herself for not getting every snack she craved for. Stay on budget, she reminded herself mentally, you’re saving for that new laptop, remember? And that explained why she’d always buy what was on sale; brand loyalty be damned!

Checking her list, she now had toiletries, vegetables, a small selection of fruits, meat and fish, as well as her snacks and drinks. She even managed to buy rice that was on sale. As her eyes scanned for pasta, she let out a small huff how the last one was at the very top, pushed at the back. Standing on her tippy toes, she tried to reach for it — but as her nails scratched the container, it only pushed the item further away.

Feeling a warm body press against hers as they reached for the box, she turned around and was shocked to see it was Andy, “Here you go.” Grabbing the item from him, she smiled at him after placing it on her cart. “Thanks, Andy. would have ended up climbing my cart just to reach it.”

That’s dangerous! Can’t have you risking your body when it’s soon to be carrying our child, He scolded her in his mind. But what he really told her was, “Well we can’t have that happening; some are gonna think that you’re a die hard pasta lover.” They both laughed at what he said as they both walked. She noticed how he only had a basket with him that was filled with a few personal hygiene products and a reusable bag.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you shop here before,” She’s shopped at this market in different times and days, and not once has she seen his face before. Already having prepared an answer, he smiled, “Well this is further from my home. But it was on the way back, since I did just come from the cemetery.”

Shaking her head as she cursed herself, she turned to him to express regret, “I’m sorry for that. It seems like I always unknowingly bring that up.” Bopping her nose with his finger he reassured her, “Like you said, unknowingly. You didn’t know that it would somehow lead to that — so don’t sweat yourself about it.”

Bashfully, she just kept her head down as she lined up for the cashier. Andy didn’t follow her directly as he opted for the self-service check out. Still, after he was done paying he waited for her at the end of the lane. When he noticed that she struggled to carry her items, she took two of her bags — leaving her to carry only one.

“Andy! Let me get it, there’s no need for you to do that,” She tried grabbing for her bags as they walked out of the market. Bringing the bags to his side so she wouldn’t reach it, he stuck his tongue out, playfully, “No way! Plus these are too heavy for you. So allow me to be a good citizen and carry it for you okay?”

Deciding that it wasn’t worth her time and energy to fight him, she just nodded and began to silently lead him to her car — but what she didn’t realize was that not only did the lawyer know what kind of car she had, but also where she had parked it. “You know it feels like I’m taking advantage of you.”

What she said had him interested as they both neared her vehicle, “And why is that?” Opening the trunk of her car, she placed the bag she carried before reaching over to him and grabbing the ones he brought, “Well you buy flowers from me — and this morning you even gave me one — and then you carry my things like you’re my servant.”

Oh if you only knew, love, he thought to himself. But he smirked at her as he closed the trunk before placing his own bag then resting his elbow on the car, “Well how about a repayment then?”

“Done! Your next order, or orders, of flowers are on me.” Her quick response had Andy laughing, “I didn’t mean for it that way, petal.” The nickname he used had her stuttering for a bit as her brain felt like it was being transformed into a melted mess. “What’d you mean then?”

“How about we text? You know, we exchange numbers and just get to know each other a little better,” For some reason Andy felt nervous as he proposed the idea. Insecurity lingered on his head as he tried to gently weasel his way in. But it brought him comfort when she smiled and nodded, “I’d love that, Andy!” While she grabbed for her phone that was in the pocket of her leggings.

He already had her number registered in his phone, it was only for formality’s sake that he put in his number on her cellular device so as not to raise any suspicion. “I look forward to chatting with you,” She giggled at the term he used, causing him to raise an eyebrow at her. “I just found it silly how you said chatting. It’s silly, really.”

Placing a hand on his chest as he pretended to be offended, he defended himself, “I may not use today’s terms but I sure am a great person to have a conversation with.” Chuckling, she just bopped his nose before heading to the driver’s seat, “Only one way to find out, yeah?”

Nodding, he winked at her before grabbing his bag and heading on over to his car, “Only one way. See you soon, Y/N. Take care on your drive.” As she entered her car, she unlocked her phone and sent out a text to Andy:

take care as well, Andy! thank you once again for helping me out :D ‘til next time!

Placing her phone on the seat beside her, she turned on the engine and was preparing to leave when she heard her phone chime. Surprised with how quickly responded, she then decided to read the message now:

Can’t imagine this will be the last time I’ll be helping you out. (I’m kidding of course! Unless…)

Shaking her head at his goofiness, she began her journey back to the shop where she decided it would be best to not reply to him right away. They’ve only interacted twice but she couldn’t help but find him attractive. He had this charm in him and the way he carried himself was amazing. It also helped that he was pleasing to the eye and quick-witted. Perhaps this could be more than just a friendship; but Andy had already had an entire plan hatched out in order for that to happen.

*

Andy was having a bad week. He wanted to have gone to visit Y/N on Wednesday since those were the days of when he had previously visited her. Granted, they have been texting throughout the previous week, it still doesn’t compare to seeing her actual face and getting the chance to touch her skin. But having been swamped with work since he was assigned to a massive, imperative case; and now that it was almost being resolved, he thought to unwind and relax. And what better way to do so than spending time with his best girl?

The moment he stepped foot in her floral shop, his sweet, positive attitude he had quickly turned out to be a sour one. “Andy, hi!” Her excited voice made him put on a fake smile, stopping his earlier activity which was piercing daggers through the back of the man’s head she was earlier talking to. Cautiously, he stepped forward to stand behind the till as the man stood off to the side as he held out his hand, “Hey, man. I’m Scott Lang!”

“Scott here just delivered the flowers,” She pointed to the crates of flowers that she has yet to unpack. “Oh? And he’s still here because?” Despite being serious, the two took it as a joke and just laughed it off. Scott even hit his palm against Andy’s muscular bicep as he threw his head back laughing, “Well I was just catching up with Y/N, it’s been awhile since I got assigned to her little shop. And i’ve got a few more deliveries to make, so I’m gonna go ahead.” The relief that the lawyer had when Scott waved goodbye was short lived for he heard him call out to Y/N, “I’ll see you on game night, okay?”

It even pained him when she nodded her head while she placed her elbow on the crate on the counter, “So, Andy, what can I get for you?”

“White chrysanthemums on that white box, please,” Patting down his pants, he shook his head and scowled, “Shoot, I forgot my wallet in the car. Hold on, I’ll be right back.” He didn’t even wait for her reply as he was quickly heading out the door. Looking to his right, he noticed Scott’s delivery trunk and how he was reading something off a tablet as he stood with his back leaned against the door to the driver’s seat.

Scott was taken aback with the sudden force on his shoulders, prompting him to look up from the tablet and on the face of the man he just met, “Andy? What?” The bearded man had his hands pressing onto his shoulders, shoving the delivery man even more into the car’s material, “Stay away from, Y/N.”

“What? What are you talking about?” Leave it to Scott to find the current situation he was in hilarious as he chuckled out his response. Andy, however, didn’t find humor in the situation; the intense gaze his eyes trapped Scott in partnered with the firm grip he had on his shoulders made it clear how serious he was. “You heard me,” He spoke after gulping down the tension he was bottling up, “Stay away from Y/N; she’s mine.”

Breaking into a heartfelt smile, Scott cooed, “Did she tell you about her crush on you? Are you finally together? She has been gushing to me and Hope about how nice and handsome you were being.” At his statement, the lawyer released his solid grip on the man; confused at what he said he questioned, “She said that? Who’s Hope?”

Chuckling at his confused state, Scott playfully hit his arm, “Hope’s my wife! She and Y/N are close friends you know? And my daughter, Cassie, absolutely adores Y/N. We try to have her over as often for game night. We’ve only seen her once in the past few weeks, and she talked our ears off about how great you are!”

Andy could feel himself getting all shy and warm with how his girl was crushing on her; Scott shook his own head as recollection of how dreamy his florist friend was at the thought of this man. And to think he was being the same right now! The expression he had on his face also gave him a clue that two weren;t officially an item yet. With a final nod, he hopped into his van, “Next time I see the two of you, you better be a couple already! ‘M sick of this pining and puppy dog looks of love!”

Laughing out, Andy shook his head as he waved off to Scott who was already driving away. To think that I saw him as a threat, he scolded himself as he began walking back to her shop, when all this time he was a big help.

“Hey! You found your wallet?” She inquired upon seeing his smiling face walking right back in her shop; she thought that he looked even more handsome in that state — there was something about him sporting a boyish look despite looking dignified made her undergarments wet. Nodding, he moved to the counter and admired the arrangement she had made, “Wow! These look wonderful, Y/N. How much do I owe you?”

“Just $19.35. So, you finally got a break from your big case huh?” Tapping his credit card on her machine, he nodded as he let out an exaggerated sigh to which she giggled at, “Finally! I think my back’s starting to ache from all those long hours of sitting down!”

Pushing the floral arrangement to him, she decided to tease him, “You sure it’s not your old age catching up to you?” With wide eyes, he feigned offense as he gasped out loud, “I’ll have you know I am extremely handsome and even look young for someone my age!”

“Don’t I know it,” She mumbled lowly, but still wasn’t soft enough for the lawyer to miss. So he asked her with a smirk etched on his face, “What was that, petal?”

Like a deer caught off guard by headlights, she shook her head, “Nothing! I didn’t say no thing.”

“Well that’s a double negative; so it definitely means you said something,” Both his hands grabbed for one of her hands from across the counter as he held it delicately, “What kind of tree can you fit in your hand?”

Unsure where this was going, she asked, “What? What kind?” Bringing her hand up, he placed a gentle kiss on her palm before answering, “A palm tree, of course!”

Snatching her hand from his grip as he said his joke, she laughed as she teasingly chastised him, “You and your dad jokes, Andy! I swear to God!” Loving how flustered she was, he decided to tease her even more, “Does that mean you’ll call me daddy?���

By now she was a stuttering mess, “Ha, very original, Andy.” Bopping her nose, he bid her adieu as he carried out the arrangement out of her store — walking away with a wide smile on his face. Now feeling more relaxed than ever.

Giddily, he placed the flowers by the top right end of Jacob’s grave as he sat down and told his son, “You’ll never believe what I found out today, Jake!”

*

Are you busy tonight?

Andy bit his lip in anticipation as he stared at his phone, waiting for a reply. Considering how it was just 3 in the afternoon, he gave her the benefit of the doubt that she was busy with the flower shop — maybe counting her inventory or checking her sales. His blue eyes lit up when she replied:

well depends on who’s asking :P but after work i have no plans…

Perfect, Andy thought. He had enough of waiting and he’d like to think that his plan was working out well. They’ve been texting each other consistently for the past two weeks and whatever she hasn’t told him yet, he already knew thanks to his research. She also began to open up to him and so has he. The more he got to know her, the more he was assured that she was the right person for him to begin a new chapter of his life with.

Would you want to come over for dinner then?

Y/N’s breath hitched as she read his text; she was in the middle of watering her flowers when that invite dropped onto her like a ton of bricks. Over the past few days that they’ve gone talking, she felt herself getting more and more attached to the older man. In her mind she had doubts about if this was just a simple dinner or a proposal for a date — so she voiced out her uncertainty:

i will if you answer my question… is this a date? or just like a simple dinner??

Andy had to laugh at her question — she must have been confused and understandably so. So he decided to smooth things out:

If you’re fine with it, it’s a date. But if you’re not, it can be just a friendly dinner.. No pressure on anything, petal.

Squealing as she twirled around, Y/N had to compose herself before sending out a text:

well looks like we’ll be having a date later, andy… can’t wait to see you!

Thankful that time cooperated as it went by quickly, Andy looked over the table one more time — he lit up candles to make the scene even more romantic, brought out napkins to make it seem even fancy, and added some of the flowers he had bought from here the previous day.

Hearing the knock on his door, he put up a bright smile as he opened the door and greeted her, “Hello, petal.” He stood at the side and let her in. surprising the two of them, Y/N surged towards him and hugged him; but it was a welcome surprise as he too wrapped his arms around her.  “Missed me too much, hm?”

She could only hit his arm lightly as she shook her head. Sliding her coat off her body, he hung it on his coat hanger and guided her to the dining room. “Smells great in here. Is that,” She trailed off and looked intently where Andy removed the cover of the pot to reveal her favorite meal.

“My favorite!” She gasped out loud excitedly, “Are you a mind reader, Mr. Barber?” She squinted her eyes suspiciously at him. “Well that is exactly what I am, petal! How did you find out?” Though she took it as a joke, Andy knew better that it wasn’t her mind that she read; instead it was her entire online profile that he monitored.

With that, they began dinner that was filled with laughs and chatter. It seems that despite their difference in age, they always found something to talk about. “Wait, so you really hid your cousin’s clothes in the freezer?”

Nodding her head, she drank the last bit of the wine before answering, “She had it coming her way! She told me I had no chance of marrying Harry Potter!’ There was a baseless jealousy forming in the pit of Andy’s stomach, but he reminded himself that it was just her silly, childhood crush.

“Let me help you with that,” She offered once she noticed that Andy was clearing up their plates. Waving her off, he shook his head as he told her, “You’re my guest — more accurately, my date,” At the reminder of that, she looked down on the floor and Andy smirked, “Why don’t you go wipe off the table instead?”

Nodding, she proceeded to do so as a pleasant silence hung over them; Andy loaded the dishwasher as Y/N wiped off the table. Heading to the trash bin, she threw the trash and the paper towels she used —leaving her to stand beside Andy.

“Look at you, like a real housewife,” His comment had her taken aback. She didn’t know why, but part of her was delighted in the idea. “My, Andy, this is just our first date and you’re already thinking of marriage? What’s next? You wanna knock me up with your kid?”

Oh petal, you have no idea, do you? Andy smirked mentally, but his hands circled around her waist as he laid a gentle kiss at her nose, “And if that is my long term plan?” Pursing her lips, she could only tilt her head down; though it might be too soon for what he had said out loud, there was a tiny part of her that wanted that.

Lifting her head up with a hand, he smirked down at her, “I’m guessing you do want that, do you, petal?” She gave a slight nod which only fuelled Andy’s lust as he kissed her feral, leading her to walk backwards onto the dining table. She gasped as she was being lifted up to sit on the mahogany; granting the lawyer access to let his tongue enter her mouth. He groaned upon relishing the sweet taste that was her while his nimble fingers brutally tore the fabric of her shirt, “No bra? Why petal, were you hoping the date would end this way?”

She shook her head but quickly stopped as she let out a moan when she felt his lips and teeth nip at the skin of her breasts. Her hands clawed at his hair as he sucked on the nipple. “God these will fill up with milk,” He groaned out, but it was too indistinct for her hazy brain to fathom.

His lips trailed down to her stomach as he groaned against the flesh of her stomach, “Such a glorious stomach.” Upon feeling the coarse hairs of his beard, she giggled against him which allowed her to miss his husky moan of, “Gonna swell up with my seed.”

“Andy, please,” She moaned when his lips pressed kisses along the hemline of her pants. “Since you asked so politely,” He hastily shoved off her pants and panties in one go as he placed her thighs to rest on his shoulders, lifting her slightly off the table, while she planted her elbows firmly on the table. “Fuck!” The cuss she let out was dragged out caused by Andy furiously licking from her clit to the opening of her pussy. Her thighs trapped his face firmly, the rough texture of his beard contradicted his silky tongue lapping at the inside of her tight cunt.

“Can eat you all damn day, petal,” He caught the juices she was leaking with every flick of his tongue as his left hand rubbed on her hardened nub; while the other hand lowered his sweatpants until he was able to stroke his erect cock. Feeling her walls close in on his tongue, he smirked as he drove his tongue deeper inside her and rubbed her until she mewled out loud, “Fuck, Andy! I’m cumming!”

His beard was splattered all over his lower face, coating his beard. With a few more final licks, he let her legs fall from his shoulders and hang limply by the edge of the table. Standing up from the dining chair, Andy quickly removed his gray shirt as her hands weakly, but successfully, slid his sweatpants off legs. Her hands jerked his length while looking into him with desire, “Gonna fuck me real good, Andy?”

Loving the way she sultrily said it, he kissed her lips roughly as he pushed her by the hips, closer to the edge of the table. His right hand guided his cock to slide right in her, their tangled tongues moaned out loud upon being intimately connected. She tried to rut her hips against him, wanting to feel more of him. “Oh petal, let me do it for you.”

Both his hands settled on her thighs, using them as leverage to match his harsh thrusts as he slid in and out of her tight canal. Her walls gripped onto him tighter every time he slid back in, making him groan against the skin of her neck. The sting of her nails as they raked down on his back only added to his pleasure as it motivated him to plow her harder and faster, until she felt his tip hit her sweet, sensitive spot.

“‘M so close, Andy,” She whined, accentuating her point by digging her nails into his shoulders. Maybe it was the way she was piercing to his skin, or the way was falling apart under him beautifully, or the fact that he felt confident that after this she was going to be carrying their child, but it drove him feral which was evident when the table moved and shook in time with his relentless thrusts.

“Open that fucking cervix for me, petal,” He moaned out as his hand rubbed her swollen clit, “Let me shoot my seed in you.” Perhaps in the proper mindset, she would have viewed it as a red flag — bringing up marriage and having kids at the first date would have freaked her out. But in the heat of the moment, she found herself submissive and compliant with all his desires.

Her hands pushed his back closer to her, making her rub her stiff nipples against his chest as she begged, “Please, Andy. Cum in me.” And just as she moaned out the last word, she could feel her body tense as she clenched on his cock and cum at the thought.

Smirking, he continued his harsh assault on her pussy as pinched her clit to milk out more of her orgasm. Gasping out, she tried to restabilize her breathing — which was a challenge given that Andy was grunting wildly as his thrusts slowed down while the force remained. Feeling his cum fill her up surprised her, but she didn’t protest it.

Carrying her over to his bedroom, Y/N could feel herself getting tired from their activities. She willed herself not to close her eyes, but sleep seemed so enticing. The way Andy rubbed her back and lay her down on the bed gently didn’t help either. The lawyer smiled upon seeing the peaceful expression on her face; he kissed her forehead before reaching over to the nightstand and fish out the plug he bought and cleaned for her.

The plug was snug inside her as he slid his cock out. Laying down beside her, he cuddled her as he stared at her features, “I just know you’re gonna be pregnant, petal,” Her breathing was even and her closed eyes gave him the impression she was now falling asleep, “I checked your period tracker app, you should be ovulating now. Plus, I have been slipping some vitamins in your food and drink to help make you even more fertile.”

Wiggling around, his breath hitched when she nuzzled her face even more to his chest, “Goodnight, Andy,” Plus a kiss to his chest made his heart swell up even more. Smiling despite the joyous tears leaking in his eyes, he kissed her forehead once more before bidding her goodnight as they both slept.

“Here’s to new beginnings, petal.”

[wondereads]

Personal Recommendation (2/14/20)

The Sisters Grimm by Michael Buckley

I’m doing something new this week! I’ll be reviewing every book in The Sisters Grimm series. Each will get a small paragraph and get a rating out of ten, and then I’ll rate the series overall. Hope you guys enjoy it! Please keep in mind this will contain spoilers for the later books, so don’t read ahead if you don’t want some major spoilers!

#1: The Fairy-Tale Detectives     9/10

The very beginning! Sabrina and Daphne Grimm, after a year in foster care with some dubious caretakers, are being sent to live with their grandmother, who, until a few days ago, they didn’t know existed. Granny Relda lives in Ferryport Landing, a typical small town in almost all aspects except for the significant population of fairytale characters or Everafters. The first book serves as a good introduction to Buckley’s world. The sisters have been shielded from fairytales their entire lives, so it’s easy to insert explanations for the inexperienced reader. It also very quickly sets up Sabrina and Daphne’s characters by using their reaction to Granny Relda and her fairytale reveal. Daphne, being a younger, more sheltered child, accepts it wholeheartedly and is excited to get involved in solving magical mysteries. Sabrina, after protecting her sister from nutcases for a year, has a much more cynical outlook, and it takes an actual giant scooping Relda up for her to believe. There’s also some memorable introductions for other important characters such as Mr. Canis, Puck, Mirror, and Mayor Charming. In terms of the plot, Buckley consistently creates mysteries that have twists but aren’t too difficult to follow for late elementary students.

#2: The Unusual Suspects     7/10

Things are starting to get a little more intense. Sabrina and Daphne are required to go to school after being preoccupied with chasing giants around the countryside. Unfortunately, especially for Sabrina, who wants to regain some semblance of normalcy, something is killing the teachers at school. I forgot how gruesome the murders were. I also forgot that Sabrina is in sixth grade. This particular book always got on my nerves. Sabrina is clearly having some issues; her parents are missing, she’s trapped in a town with fairytale characters, she can’t see to escape humiliation either at the hands of Puck or her classmates, and now people are being killed left and right. And yet, her family refuses to see that she needs help and decides to reprimand her constantly instead. The villain for this book is particularly disturbing. I must warn readers-child manipulation and abuse is a common theme in these books. If you couldn’t already catch on in the first book, it becomes obvious here that Sabrina has some grudges against the magical community.

#3: The Problem Child     7/10

This book has a sort of in-between feeling to me. Sabrina comes upon a maniacal little girl dressed in red who is holding her currently enchanted parents captive. The little girl, obsessed with recreating her family, is convinced they are her own parents and controls a jabberwocky, her ‘kitty’. All she needs is a granny and a doggy-Granny Relda and Mr. Canis. Everything in this book pours into the next ones, while, unlike the other books, there isn’t much of a self-contained plot. Red comes more into play in Tales from the Hood and The Everafter War, the election sets up Magic and Other Misdemeanors, and the vorpal blade and Puck’s injury lead into Once Upon a Crime. This book, however, introduces Uncle Jake, one of the most interesting characters in terms of development, and it also begins the problem of Sabrina’s magic addiction. The events of this book contribute to Sabrina’s distrust of magic after she has some run-ins with her addiction. It is also when you maybe start to develop some affection for Charming, despite his over-inflated ego.

#4: Once Upon a Crime     10/10

This one is my personal favorite. After Puck’s run-in with the jabberwocky, the Grimms take an emergency trip to New York, Sabrina and Daphne’s old home. There they plead the king of Faerie, Oberon, to heal Puck. Unfortunately, Oberon is poisoned within hours of their arrival, and Relda, of course, takes the case. This book is so much fun because in Ferryport Landing they just sprinkle the whole town in forgetful dust. In New York, Everafters need real jobs and a way to cover their tracks as beings who don’t age. The Wizard of Oz works at Macy’s, Ebenezer Scrooge makes a living as a medium, and pirates such as Long John Silver feed off of Wall Street. It also addresses the downsides of that. Everafters don’t age; some of them don’t even look human. It comes as a shock to Sabrina, but her mother, Veronica Grimm, was secretly working with the New York Everafters to fix their problems. I feel that Sabrina finding a connection to her mother through the Everafter community is the first step she takes toward accepting her role as a Grimm.

#5: Magic and Other Misdemeanors     8/10

The conflict between humans and Everafters starts to take center stage. Someone in Ferryport Landing is stealing powerful magical artifacts, causing rips in time, but the Grimms have to split their attention with Mayor Heart’s new tyrannical rule. This is where the series begins to take a darker turn. The new mayor, the Queen of Hearts, and Sheriff Nottingham are set on running every human in Ferryport Landing out of town, and the divides between human and Everafter are becoming more pronounced by the day. The rips in time are particularly interesting, especially Sabrina and Daphne’s trip to the future, which really raises the stakes going forward. Also, the idea of a past Grimm arriving in town, giving Heart and Nottingham a chance to end the entire family, is very nervewracking. Also, the concept of Everafter-human relationships and how that would work presents some interesting conflicts.

#6: Tales from the Hood     10/10

There’s nothing I love more than a fractured fairytale. Intent on getting rid of the Grimms’ staunch protector, Heart and Nottingham put Mr. Canis, or the Big Bad Wolf, on trial. Some investigation in order to clear his name reveals that the story of Little Red Riding Hood might not be all true. Technically, the entire series is based on fairytales, but this is the first book where those stories are actually challenged. The actual story of Little Red Riding Hood is amazing, and it also ties into all the other stories the Wolf is present in. Also, I love Red, the sane Red, and I always get so happy when she’s cured. Once again, Sabrina clashes strongly with her family in this one, for understandable reasons. I’m less inclined to side with her on this one, but she definitely learns her lesson.

#7: The Everafter War     8/10

The Grimms are finally united! Henry and Veronica Grimm are woken up from their magical sleep, but Henry, having too many bad memories, wants to leave town immediately. Unfortunately, the Scarlet Hand has taken over all of Ferryport Landing and only a small resistance stands in their way. There’s a lot of family drama in this one. The dynamics of Sabrina, Daphne, and their parents are all out of whack after spending over a year apart. On one hand, they now have parental support again. On the other, Henry can’t seem to conceptualize that Daphne is, in fact, not five anymore. If that isn’t enough drama for you, Puck finds out he and Sabrina are married in the future, and Snow and Charming are caught up in a soap opera of their own. Also, not to mention the plethora of betrayals in this book. The plot is really picking up here.

#8: The Inside Story     8/10

This one took quite some imagination. After the reveal of the Master’s identity as their own beloved Mirror, Sabrina, Daphne, and Puck pursue him and Pinocchio through the Book of Everafter, a living book filled with fairytales that could actually change history. I find it absolutely hilarious that the kids absolutely refuse to follow the story no matter what. Also, this is where Sabrina starts coming into her own. She’s going through a rough patch in this book. As would anyone whose best friend turned out to be the leader of a magical terrorist organization. By the way, if you are connected to these characters in any way, Mirror’s betrayal will hit you like a punch to the gut. She’s having trouble trusting her judgement, which will have her come back stronger than ever. Also, it’s nice to see her and Puck get through a couple sentences without a barrage of insults. Finally, Relda was such a badass in this book. If you didn’t love her before, you definitely love her now.

#9: The Council of Mirrors     9/10

It’s time for a happily ever after. With Mirror running loose in Ferryport Landing and the rebellion in tatters, things are looking bleak. Especially when the twenty-four remaining magic mirrors issue a prophecy putting everyone’s fate in the hands of Sabrina and Daphne Grimm. Sabrina starts out pretty broken in this book. She’s been betrayed, her grandmother is possessed by an evil mirror, and now everyone is expecting her to lead an army. I absolutely love that when she gets the push she needs from the mirrors it plays to her strengths. She’s a master of planning and subterfuge, and it’s so nice to see it come out. On a less chipper note, I hate Atticus with everything in me, and I was so happy he ended the way he did. In terms of Mirror, I found it poetic, but also so typical of a kid’s book, that he was defeated by the one thing he never had: love. Finally, the reason this book doesn’t get a 10/10 is because I felt the epilogues were kind of rushed and unrealistic. However, they don’t have much impact on the book overall, and I still loved most of it!

Overall 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

The Sisters Grimm is one of my favorite series from childhood. The characters are realistic, relatable, and get great development. Kids books are great because there’s no worries about the idea being too juvenile. This book could never be an adult book, the ideas in it are too silly. However, that doesn’t mean it isn’t amazing, and I find the crazy ideas and cheesy lessons absolutely charming. It gives some unexpected sides to some well-known characters, and the amount of thought that went into incorporating classic and even more obscure characters into the modern world was crazy and very amusing at times. I also suspect that this series is the root of my fondness for fractured fairytales. I would recommend this book to people who like modern fantasy, sibling relationships, and fairytale characters in a decidedly un-mystical setting.

The Author

Michael Buckley: American, 51 years old, also wrote N.E.R.D.S. and Undertow

The Reviewer

My name is Wonderose; I try to post a review every two weeks, and I take recommendations. Check out my about me post for more!

[popculturebuffet]

Jake Reviews Amphibia: Handy Anne and Fort in the Road

It’s finally here... the second time i’ve said that in three days but hey, Amphibia is back! After a years hiatus due to the show being shoved out in a month to get it on disney plus faster (Yet they STILL don’t have wonder over yonder so I can finally watch season 2. God damn. ), one of the best new shows of a year stuffed with them is back! I was excited about this one from the start. A great premise, a gravity falls pedegriee, and the wonderful Brenda Song, who I had a crush on when I was younger despite not really watching the first suite life that much, though I will admit what I saw was pretty decent and had a wonderful cast especially song and Phil Morris as Mr.Mosby.. it was just overshadowed by i’ts two leads being really sterotypical (the cool but dumb hustler and the stick in the mud nerd) and I was more of a nick middle schooler anyway so I barely touched it. Granted if I could go back in time and trade which shows I watched i’d trade it for Zoey 101 in a heartbeat, another show with awful leads but the rest of the main cast was really good concidentally. 

Anyways I did watch more of on deck to  kill time and absolutley hated it. Seroiulsy the show really sucks: Zack and Cody were turned into basically worse versions of Zack Morris and Ross Gellar, worse because while their just as douchey as those two, Mark  Paul Gossler and David Schiwmer can actually act and Cole Sprouse could not yet. I do say yet since Cole Sprouse has grown because he wasn’t half bad in the one season of riverdale I watched. Riverdale, what happens when you have the entire writers room snort a line of coke and then tell them to write the most insane archie fanfiction they can and stitch the results together. Just with Archie alone from what i’ve seen in read he’s started a vigilante posse ala homer simpson, nearly joined hte mafia, been framed form murder, had the local cheerleaders do a number for him while he played prison football, escaped prison to hide in canda from both his former mafia boss whose also his girlfriend’s dad and the cult based on a  DnD knockoff, got mauled by a bear and LIVED, and now is a superhero apparently. WHy I haven’t gone back to at the very least review this clusterfuck is a mystery.  But the point is the twins were really terrible at the time, and if the fact Dylan’s only major role recently is in the sequel to After, that film based on self insert one direction fanfiction, which somehow got a sequel while Birds of Prey probably won’t because god really does hate me. So it was bad and she deserved better, got better with the social network but hadn’t done much i’d seen, so a new cartoon starting her in her elment and in a great show for once had me pumped.  And.. my faith paid off. The show is beautifully animated, ahs a wonderfully morbid and fully fleshed out world, top notch voice acting (including BIll Farmer who is so unreconizable as hop pop I thought he was voiced by charlie addler), great jokes, action and storytelling. Just a slam dunk that left be jonesning for me. And now in one of the best weeks for animation in a while, more is here. I do mean that: 3/4 of disney’s major animated shows returning and close enough finally airing it’s a good time.  When we last left our heroes: Hop Pop buired the box that brought anne there and lied to her about it which even a year later I think is a terrible decision.. one made for understandable reasons as he clearly knows something more about it than she does, but one that’s bound ot backfire whens he finds out her new grandpa lied to her and betrayed her. The plantars also spent the season preparing to leave wartwood. Soon after, Anne was forced to finally stand up to her manipulative, if to my utter shock still caring about her and possibly being into her? I mean it’s not like I haven’t seen the “villian whose overcompensating for a terrible past and likes manipualting people redeemed and ending up smooching the somewhat reckless but good hearted heroine” before. 

Anyways Sasha ends up nearly falling off a giant tower, Anne tries to save her, with the rest of her new family pitching in, and Sasha, realizing just how terrible she’s been just.. let’s her self fall, only saved because Grime caught her. And just remembering that sequence god dman.. the fact they actually got the rights to lean on me for it really dosen’t help. But the day was saved and while Anne had a huge bundle of trauma, the family was ready to finally set out soon. And now a year later i’ts time. Now i’ve gotten all the personal stuff out of the way, let’s hop to it and see what the new season has to offer. Full review with spoilers under the cut!

Handy Anne

So the Plantars are finally setting off. We don’t touch on the Sasha thing much, just a quick bit at the begining to show that while Anne is insiting she’s fine it really traumatized her. I do like kids shows starting to show more that sometimes heroes just DON’T bounce back after something like this, especially young ones. While it’ isn’t nearly to the extent of Steven Universe spending an entire season having his lack of thearpy and unresolved issues slowly destroy him, it’s still nice to see. But the main thrust of the episode is it’s vacation time brother!

Yup after a few episodes of build up last season with the valley clear, Hop Pop has bought a suprisingly nice and affordable wagon (As Polly excitedly explains someone died in it) so they can finally set out to hopefully find Anne a way home. Their going to Oregon! I mean To newtopia, the beating heart of Amphibia: a bustling metroplis built on knowledge where they can hopefully find a way to get Anne and friends back home, while Anne hopes to find Marcy. The rest of the kids are also excited just to get out of the valley for the first time.  Everyone’s pumped.. but Anne starts to worry when she finds out Hop Pop has asked his friend Chuck, the “I grow tulips” guy from the bug ball episode last season who I forgot about but was reminded why I love him and am glad to have him back, to watch the house as given Amphibia is hard enough to surivive on a good day, let alone if your a stationary building. And Chuck dosen’t insprie confidence so Anne decides to fortify the house. And her reasoning.. is actually really sweet and shows how much she’s grown: Instead of like most times where her impulsivness is the reason shenanigans and life thretaning situations happen here.. she’s hit with the hard relization her new family is basically risking everything, their home, their farm, their chuck, to help her get home. 

So Anne decides to armor up the house, getting a fuck ton of shovels and a ton of suplies from the blacksmith guy who suprisngly for once DOES have what she needs for her veggies, to the point his not backtracking weirds anne out, and gives her a tub of goo. This can only end well! Meanwile the rest of the family pack. Polly having maybe 3 possesions gets done quick, Hop Pop is being anal reteitive as always with his ascots (hilariously done and Bill Farmer really is the MVP of this series), while Sprig’s gone half insane just picking out which slingshot to take as he never left, which polly of course exploits.  But things natrually go wrong as the goo creates veggie monsters the family fights (with sprig even calling fight time because this is normal to them at this point) the next mornign and then one colosus that destroys the house... and Anne’s anger and heartbreak over it .. awakens something. See something I hadn’t heard about and didn’t notice at the ebgining of the series was anne’s eyes flashing blue while fighting the mantis in the first episode. Many couldn’t tell if it was leading somewhere or just an animation error. Here though her eyes go bright blue in close up with it being clear this is part of her.. the question what is it and why? Just what power does she have now? And will it save the world or destroy it? Questions for later Anne saves the day, an admits she screwed up but Hop Pop is understanding: He’s touched by her actions but also explains their not just doing this for her: their with her all the way and any sacrifice is worth it. And I like that part of hop pop: while he can be overbearing, just see next episode.. he does genuinely mean well and has genuine wisdom, something they sometimes forget with grandparent characters in animation. He’s crotchety and a stick in the mud, but he’s still throughly nice and understanding and it shows here: He’s going to get his daughter back whatever it takes.. almost.  Hop Pop calls on chuck who in a whilrwind of tools and tulips fixes the place.. and proves to be every bit the legend I thought him. He sells tulips and he’s great. We’ll miss you chuck. But as they get ready to leave Anne brings up the box and Hop Pop, remembering what he did, hastily says it’s better with their contacts. WHich again just seems short sided: while he is trying to protect her, especially since next episode confirms there was some sort of apocalypse once so odds are her being connected to it might not be the best, he can’t dance around her connection to it forever, and hiding the fact some apolcaypse was caused by it is only going to backfire when some vilian reveals it or anne finds it out for herself. Taking her to a place full of infomration where he’ll now have to work to hide the truth is just asking for this to backfire. Not bringing it is one thing, dangerous people could still get the box and use it for their own ends.. we’ve seen female newt sabertooth in the promos and we’ve met Grime. But not telling her is just setitng himself up for a big and deeserved fall soon. But with that settled our heroes set out! 

Final Thoughts I:  Overall this was a good start to the season: my one real complaint is the town didn’t really see them off or anything, so the large and loveable supporting cast is just.. absent unless the series returns to wartwood at some point and it would’ve been nice to see them once last time. Even star vs, as bad as season 3 was, knew we wouldn’t be seeing most of the earth cast for a whie and had marco have a meaningful sendoff before he left. But.. given how tight the phacing seems to be this season judging by episode titles alone, and they only had 11 minutes here. I do think it could’ve been in hte next episode, but it dosen’t ruin a decent, fun start to the season really rooted in character stuff. Not the series finest 11 minutes, but still really good and a good way to start us off. 

Fort in the Road: 

First off your welcome for that episode screencap. Now this one’s also simple, but ends up having a rather sizeable revelation nestled inside. The Plantars are going down the road and while the kids want to you know explore, see places, actually enjoy the trip especailly since Sprig and Polly have never been anywhere else before, Hop Pop, being hop pop, instead just wants them to sit and be quite and follow his rules. I mean it is hte grind but you can at least make it FUN for htem; Just look at this guy. 

It took an episode longer than I thought to refrence the trail to oregon given this season is about a wagon trip, but I’m glad to do it .. and do it again. I will fit pays to be an animal in here somewhere I swear it. WE’ve got time left in the road trip.  Anyways this goes down terribly, though some rules like not posing dramatically as it smacks of hubris and never ends well. But understandably the kids are annoyed about it: Anne can’t even compallin because i’ts not in the rules.  So naturally as Hop Pop should’ve seen coming at the first opprotuunity Anne fakes being cart sick and they run off to see a weird looking ruin with Hop Pop chasing them and leaving the cart to polly because that can’t end well but he’s on a short time.  And this is where the season drops a 10 ton atomic bombshell. Anne being kinda magic in the last episode and it being fully part of things now is intresting and shocking.. but this is miles ahead of it and casts Hop Pop’s actions: Turns out whatever the clamamity box did set techniology in amphibia back to a little above the dark ages. I mean they have full light thanks to lightning bugs, but their still leagues behind.. but were once up to at least mid 2000′s levels of technology. The machine seen requires a disk to stop, but it’s still far beyond what I expcted from this world. Naturally Hop Pop shows up furious, then gets stuck on the assembly line with the kids deseprate to save him, with spirg ending up doing sow ith the rule book. Also we get Anne’s wonderful repsonse to Sprig asking what a disk is:  “I don’t know! i’m from another dimension not the 90s!”  They surivive, the factory blows up and the kids apologize and agree to go back to the boring way things have been going.. but Hop Pop thankfully realizes he’s been a bit overbearing and actually gives a good reason why: He’s never taken then out of the valley before and simply got overprotective. This is his family after all, all he has left of his kid and all he really has left beside Sylvia and the farm. It’s understandble he’d go a bit overboard. But Hop Pop decides to compromise a bit in a nice moment: while the impalment fields are obviously a non starter, he does get the kids ice cream (Anne even admits at this point she dosen’t pick the bugs out anymore), and they genuinely enjoy the trip while Sprig (in a hilarious bit of lampshadng as he does it repeadtly) wonders jsut what they were making.. and as I spoiled it was robots.. one of whom is now following them. Wether this means new doom or the plantars getting a new robot family member I don’t know i’m hoping for the latter. Everyone needs a vision in their life.   Final thoughts II: While having a bit of an obvious conflict with an obvious resolution the character work combined with the MASSIVE plot bombshell really make this enjoyable and I hope to find out more about just what the hell happened and what these robots are for. Just another good solid episode and an excellent duo to start the season.  Next week: Things take a turn for the western and Anne learns to hunt and more about the glow. And with the glow you need to grow to glow... until then i’ll likely have mor ereviews on this channel, I recently reveiwed all of season 1 of close enough if your curious, and until next time.. play us out Willie!

I love what i’ve seen of this throughly stupid movie. Bye ya’ll! 

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

Candyman (1992)

All I know about Candyman is that I saw the movie cover innumerable times at Blockbuster as a child and it ALWAYS freaked me out. I think bees are involved? And a hook, and maybe a mirror? And the great Tony Todd, whom I know better from the Final Destination films, and whose voice is one of the all-time great voices in horror or anywhere else. With the new Jordan Peele-produced Candyman coming out this year (maybe...if, you know, movies ever come out again during the apocalypse), I wanted to watch the original for the first time, so I’d have an idea of what I was getting into. 

Basically a couple of grad students, Helen and Bernadette (Virginia Madsen and Kasi Lemmons), are studying local urban legends and folklore in Chicago when they find out about the legend of Candyman (Tony Todd), a murderous spirit that haunts the projects in Cabrini Green and the poor black folks who live there. As Helen digs deeper into the mystery, strange things start happening to her until she finally is forced to confront Candyman face-to-face and then things REALLY go off the rails. So is this a slasher movie filled with racial tension, the precursor to more cerebral horror fare like Get Out or Midsommar? Or is this more Eddie Murphy Vampire in Brooklyn 90s ridiculousness? Well...

Much more the former than the latter. There’s a lot of stuff going on here, and not all the ingredients in the smoothie work well together. There’s a lot of good - strong performances, some great set pieces, and some truly tense, nerve-wracking sequences. My 7-year-old self was definitely right to be super freaked out by that VHS cover.

Some thoughts:

Ok this Philip Glass soundtrack is already really unsettling and weird in a great way. It turns out the soundtrack is one of the elements that really makes this film memorable and stand out from typical slasher schlock.

Ah, it’s based on a story by Clive Barker, ok so this is gonna be violent and sexual and uncomfortable, got it. [Ed. note: this assessment was pretty accurate.]

I don’t understand in what universe you want to like, play a Bloody Mary type game when you’re about to have sex. Is that what turns some people on? I’m not here to kinkshame anyone, but I just feel like there are other ways to court a bit of danger during sex that don’t involve invoking a murderous mirror spirit. 

I am loving these oversized sweaters. Was any decade better for oversized sweaters than the 90s?

The set design is really incredible - this derelict building in the Cabrini Green projects is eerie, there’s an oppressive presence and an abandoned feeling to it all at the same time. And Wife pointed out that man, people really loved painting walls pink in the 90s, you just don’t see that kind of pink anymore. This movie has a really rich feel to it, like all the decisions were made with real craft and care. I can definitely see how this had ripple effects on other atmospheric horror, especially in urban settings, later down the road.

I can’t help but feel like our white woman protagonist is a tourist in a world she doesn’t understand. That sense of not belonging is a big part of the horror here, and at first I was very uncomfortable that this was playing into racist stereotypes of the young blonde white woman being threatened by all the big bad black people. But instead, the film humanizes and offers an air of protectiveness over the residents of Cabrini Green, and in many ways it is Helen who is shown to be the dangerous and harmful outsider.

The jump scares are real, and very effective.

Um what grad student has business cards tho, c’mon now.

Ah yes, the Clive Barker of it all arriving right on time with this completely unasked for child mutilation. 

I love Jake (DeJuan Guy) and his incredulousness. He’s a pretty fantastic and emotive child actor. 

Can I just say, Helen is really really out of Trevor’s (Xander Berkeley) league. I don't know what she sees in him. And it skeeves me out that he’s a professor and she’s a grad student because, although it’s never explicitly spelled out, I would bet a million dollars that she was his student. 

Man, Candyman looking fly as hell with that fur trimmed coat and those shiny black shoes. “Be my victim” ok, Tony Todd, ok, I’m on board!

OH NO THERE IS GRAPHIC VIOLENCE TO A DOG. IT’S VERY GRAPHIC AND SUDDEN AND UPSETTING EVEN THOUGH IT’S FAKE LOOKING.

There’s also a lot of tasteful sideboob if you’re into that sort of thing.

You know, grad school was a stressful time for me, but at least I can say I was never woke up covered in blood and was accused of murder. 

This dramatic motherfucker flying out the window backwards. Between this and the outfit, Candyman is extra AF.

I can’t get over how much Virginia Madsen resembles Gillian Anderson in early X-Files days. It’s similar facial structure and those big eyes, sure, but a lot of it is this hair as well. As any millenial lesbian can tell you, Gillian Anderson in early X-Files days was Very Important to our cause, so uh, I’m pretty into Helen’s whole vibe honestly. 

At first I thought this was going to be about racial symbolism and Candyman being a physical embodiment of the horrors inflicted upon the black community in urban environments, but thigs get muddy with this whole murder plot and framing of Helen as this victim of some supernatural conspiracy theory, and I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to take from it? But damn, this is compelling and stressful. 

OK but if she’s been in the hospital for a month, then this baby has been in this dirty ass room for a month with only a dramatic hook spectre man taking care of him? What did he feed baby Anthony?? I happen to know that he’s covered in bees and babies can’t eat honey. 

Why do they have a giant paperclip on their wall as decoration?

The actor who plays Trevor, Xander Berkeley, is so burned in my memory as the foster dad from Terminator 2 that I keep expecting him to make the same dumb face while he’s covered in blood (because let’s face it, I’m expecting EVERYONE to die in this movie, and he’s been particularly shitty) and ope time almost ran out but there it is! 1991/1992 were the glory days for this guy dying bloody in movies. 

Did I Cry? No, but I was VERY distressed about that dog :(

Overall, I can definitely see why this has entered the cult classic pantheon. Strong central performances from Virginia Madsen and Tony Todd carry a lot of this film, but there are elements that I’m still confused about, mainly due to a muddled and overstuffed plot. The racial injustice and lynching feels like rich material to draw from but then why is the belief in Candyman yielding the murders of other black people living in Cabrini Green? I would think the vengeance would be on the heads of the folks who actually did the lynching. Why did he have to kidnap the baby? Was it for leverage to get Helen to do what he wanted? Surely someone she had a stronger personal connection to - Bernadette, probably - would have been a wiser choice? And if, instead, this is all some Dracula-esque plot to reconnect with the reincarnated spirit of his long lost love, what on earth was all this other bullshit about? It’s a movie that works best when you don’t ask too many questions about it, and the soundtrack and visuals - especially that mouthful of bees - are ones that are going to stick in my memory for a long time. 

If you liked this review, please consider reblogging or subscribing to my Patreon! For as low as $1, you can access bonus content and movie reviews, or even request that I review any movie of your choice.

[comicteaparty]

May 13th-May 19th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from May 13th, 2019 to May 19th, 2019.  The chat focused on Damsels Don’t Wear Glasses by J Alice Bown.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Damsels Don’t Wear Glasses by J Alice Bown~! (http://damsels-dont-wear-glasses.com/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PDT), so keep checking back for more! You have until May 19th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. In so far, what aspect of the world-building catches your interest the most? Why is that so? Also, what theories do you have in regards to differences between places like Persephone and Hestia?

Delphina

For serious scenes, I think I gotta go with the big swordy magic scene where she saves Jake from being crushed by the statue (http://damsels-dont-wear-glasses.com/?comic_id=202) because the lighting effects are gorgeous and seeing Lave doing big magic stuff with her sword was really really cool. For silly scenes, the one that always sticks with me is Lave trying to be a host and failing miserably. (http://damsels-dont-wear-glasses.com/?comic_id=123)

keii4ii

2) I really liked this page. http://damsels-dont-wear-glasses.com/index.php?comic=20180423 How she just asks a random person on the street for a magic shortcut and gets an answer right away. While it's always been clear that magic is an ordinary thing, this kind of little details really shows exactly how ordinary.

Capitania do Azar

I really like the prologue, particularly the part where they climb the lamppost. There's just so much character into the entire scene, and the exchanges are really cool. It's a very strong beginning for a story too, imo!!

2) http://damsels-dont-wear-glasses.com/index.php?comic=20130423 I really think this part has a lot to show about world building like, here's this weird magical event going on, but everyone is just "I was just trying to show you something cool urg" and "well this ain't it"

duskglass

for the worldbuilding, i especially love the variety of creatures/nonhumans we've seen so far, and how well integrated they are with the setting! it's got a classic urban fantasy vibe while also being very fresh and unique

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 4. What do you think Lave’s backstory is? Do you think she got all her scars from her job, or might some of them predate her job somehow? How do you think Jake will change the way Lave handles and deals with her life?

ClauseArt

heeey I just saw this! This is my comic! Thanks for taking the time to read it! c8

RebelVampire

1) i definitely gotta go with the scene where jake is in dream world like place with aishe. I really love how this scene just suddenly adds 1000 layers of mystery. Plus, i really just love the change in color scheme. It really gives it this other worldly feel that gives me goosebumps. Plus, I also just like Aishe's design. 2) I've really been enjoying the differences in magic. Like, for example, how most zombies actually suck cause ya know...theyre dead. I feel this adds such a great twist what we expect, cause every change I feel fits a more logical setup for what the magic does. Again, like how the zombie thing makes 1000% sense cause dead bodies are not the sturdiest. I am curious about why Lave had such a reaction to Hestia magic schools, but I don't have any theories outside of magic must be viewed very differently in places.

3) Kestrel because he's such a precious failure at life. Like...he just cannot catch a break and for some reason that makes him super endearing to me. Plus now hes got the whole aishe connection thing going on so that makes him double interesting. But mostly I want to boop him for all his failures. 4) I would think some of her scares would have to predate her job. Cause she's...she's got a lot of them. And considering she mentioned having been in jail, I'm kind of struck with the idea that maybe she ran with a gang or something. She super gives me the impression of someone who mostly raised herself and didnt have a huge loving family involved in teaching her how to deal with life. I think Jake will be a good influence on her though and teach her to be more careful. Cause she seems very fun loving and reckless, and while that can work when youre solo, its not great when you have other ppl. Like i think the Kestrel thing was a good example cause I felt Lave perhaps was too loose cannon with it, which semi resulted in Kestrel almost kicking the bucket. And Jake is like 1000 times more fragile, and I think it'll force Lave to see that she cant protect anybody if she goes around without a plan.

ClauseArt

@Capitania do Azar that scene with Kest and lave interacting around the lamp-post was actually the moment I decided Kest worked well as a main character. He was honestly going to die in the original draft. @keii4ii thanks! I super love just....the mundane feeling of everyday magic. @Delphina Honestly Lave just being a f--k up is probably my fav part of writing her character, especially for comedic effect XD Next to drawing glowy magic scenes of course.(edited)

@RebelVampire Oh wow this is a lot. Thank you! ;-; dammit I really can't respond to these kind of questions cus spoilers. But I'm glad you noticed a lot of my characters having...well a habit of messing up (and Lave did not handle that first chap well cough) XD Also Aishe is my fav character to draw, because Kest is my fav character to draw only its + because glowy effects. I do really like when more real world logic is put in fantasy, like corpses making for bad heavy hitters unless they're in a swarm. So I'm super glad you liked that!

Capitania do Azar

4. If Lave's style has always been what we've seen so far, then all those scars don't surprise me at all! They'd be the natural consequence of past encounters, work related or otherwise. It just kinda feels that everything ends with someone getting punched around her

3. I've really liked pretty much everyone, but I think Lave's my favorite cuz she's sturdy but messy and I feel there's a lot to be learned about her aha

And also she prolly also has a lot to learn

RebelVampire

QUESTION 5. What has been your favorite illustration in the comic so far? What specifically about it do you like?

QUESTION 6. Why do you think Jake is in Persephone with no guardian? What theories do you have on Jake’s hatred of non-humans? Will Jake be able to overcome his prejudice?

Capitania do Azar

6. Jake feels a lot like is somebody important's family but important could mean a lot of things. And has for his discomfort, I think it mostly stems from not knowing/being used to all this magic, which gives me the idea that some of these cities are less magical than others

5. Not an illustration, but I really love how in the last pages, as the sun rises, the colors become brighter and the sky becomes pink!!

It really helps bringing home the feeling that the night is over and the quietness of early morning, which is kinda fitting since they also stopped fighting

Delphina

I think I gotta go with Lave as my favorite character too because competent + ridiculous + magical +swordy is my entire jam so she's sorta the best of all worlds. Gena holds a special place in my heart too because she's clearly trying to keep a lot of things together.

Illustration-wise, I love how things like Jake's anxiety (http://damsels-dont-wear-glasses.com/?comic_id=198) or Chirovision (http://damsels-dont-wear-glasses.com/?comic_id=237) or Aisheland (http://damsels-dont-wear-glasses.com/?comic_id=225) traveling through magic spaces (http://damsels-dont-wear-glasses.com/index.php?comic=20170501) make the palette and rendering different depending on the mood. Really good use of a more abstract style to convey tone and worldbuilding.

(Now I want there to be a DDWG theme park where there's weird places like Aisheland)

varethane

Lave is my fave!!!! I love her goofy attitude paired with how much butt she kicks when it's necessary. I love seeing people underestimate her and then get surprised, haha.(edited)

My favourite illustration is.... hard to pick, but probably this page: http://damsels-dont-wear-glasses.com/?comic_id=206

Capitania do Azar

oh yeah, I really love the color work for those scenes, it carries out the emotions very well

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. Which characters do you enjoy seeing interact the most? What about their dynamic interests you?

QUESTION 8. For what purpose do you think someone sold Kestrel the cursed orb? How does this tie into the axe theft mystery Lave is asked to solve? What overall is going on regarding these illegal items, and how will it tie into the story?

Capitania do Azar

7. Anything that comes out of Kestrel's mouth is gold, but when he and Lave bicker it's even better!!!

Please just let them bicker more for my amusement

8. It really feels like someone's around trying to spread SOME mayhem and if one object was possessed then maybe it's not the only one... could be a tricky situation

Delphina

Will second that Lave and Kest definitely need to bicker more

RebelVampire

5) im kind of cheating by saying i really like the extra page about the leylines http://damsels-dont-wear-glasses.com/index.php?comic=20160620 its really simplistic yet i think the illustrations work super well to help convey all the world-building information. its just a nice combo of huge info drop with some pleasant visual accompaniment 6) I assume Jake is probably an orphan from some important family? Or that Jake's family is super high up in rank somehow and just went "nah man we dont want this kid no more." while i def think some of jake's hate comes from ignorance, i also get the impression that jake had a bad experience with non-humans. something about jake's reactions just really strike me as ptsd. overall yeah, i think jake is gonna have to overcome it. plus, exposure breeds familiarity. its hard to be in the lion's den and continue to hate the lions.

7) jake and basically any non-human. I really just enjoy seeing jake's various reactions of "eww no" and then having to be confronted with the fact that not all non-humans are bad. It just makes me more and more curious about jake's past. plus, all these interactions really serve as a great tracking devices for how jake evolves in opinion. 8) With Kestrel, I kind of think someone is trying to draw Aishe out. I mean Aishe does have pretty neat butterflies and powers, so I can't blame them. Though I assume its a revenge thing cause I get the impression ppl arent all that happy with Aishe. But thus why other illegal items are being involved because you need powerful stuff to get to the powerful people.

Desnik

That leyline page is gorgeous and informative, I love the combo of worldbuilding and infographics

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. What sorts of art or story details have you noticed in the way the comic is crafted that you think deserves attention?

QUESTION 10. Who exactly is Aishe and what are their goals? What does this have to do with the undead from the first chapter? Why did Aishe help Jake? What will Lave do when she learns about Aishe?

RebelVampire

QUESTION 11. What do you think are this particular comic’s strengths? What do you think makes this comic unique? Please elaborate.

QUESTION 12. What do you think the story with Chiro is? How did he wind up as Lave’s roommate? Will Chiro and Jake learn to get along? Also, do you think there might be anything special about Chiro that might affect the story?

AshAngelV

6. I think he's come from an entirely different world that doesn't have non humans and magic.

AshAngelV

11. The world building and color scheme are definitely strong points. It feels fully fleshed out and magical, but also very grounded like it's this amazing magical place that's also totally normal. Also, the characters. Having a bunch of flawed characters with baggage is always more interesting than having perfect characters with no problems and even the bit characters feel dynamic. Like they have their own story and interests rather than being part of the scenery exsisting only for the MCs to interact with.

RebelVampire

9) The thing I appreciate the most details wise is just the physical flaws. Especially Lave's scars. Adding details like that can be really tedious, yet it really helps deliver so much character that I always enjoy when the time is taken to include things like that. 10) I feel like Aishe is probably some necromancer from the past who is trying to rectify a mistake that was made. I think Aishe helped for the reason they said: Jake did a kindness and gotta pay that shit forward. I feel like Lave is 100% not going to trust aishe and basically just encourage everyone to do the same. Maybe suggest Kestral seek professional help. But yeah, I don't see a green butterfly person flying with Lave XD 11) I think this comic's strengths lie in two areas. First, the implementation of magic. There are clear rules, there's enough deviations from the standard to be interesting, and the fact its presented as a normal culture thing is well-integrated. second, the color palettes are really amazing and suit the tone and atmosphere of each scene really well. 12) I feel like Chiro might be a bit special since that one person did wonder what species Chiro was or something like that. And that because of this specialness Chiro was outcasted. Hence why he wound up with Lave cause ya know, outcasts gotta stick together. I think Chiro and Jake will bond for sure down the road. Cause i mean Chiro did just help save Jake's butt, and thats gotta earn him some Jake points right?

AshAngelV

12. I think Chiro might be a vamp that just stays in bat form or maybe only has bat form.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 13. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

QUESTION 14. What do you think Kestrel’s role will be in regards to the larger story? Can Kestral and Aishe be detached from one another, or is the attachment permanent?

AshAngelV

14. I think he'll be the guy that's in a constant state of terror and peril. And I think the detaching will be up to Aishe.

ClauseArt

man its super hard not to chime in on these ahhh D8

Delphina

Rebel makes such good questions XDD

varethane

I am looking forward to several things! - what is Jake's deal and how is he linked to aishe -Lave's bite mark scar!!!! what is it!!!!!! -what will Kest do next -more Lave plz(edited)

RebelVampire

@Delphina thank you for saying so~!

13) im looking forward to more aishe doing aishe stuff just cause i dig that aesthetic a whole lot. im also looking forward to learning more about jake so more concrete theories can be made about wtf jake's deal is. and also why nobody else could take jake besides lave cause i mean seriously...theres gotta be more sane choices XD 14) Kest is gonna become a real mage and do magic stuff. also ya know, hide out with lave cause now the ppl he owes money too are probably gonna be out for blood. as for detaching...maybe not so much. i more feel like once Aishe is done with their tasks, their essence will just kind of disappear and merge with kest.

AshAngelV

Hang in there Clause.

ClauseArt

@AshAngelV I will try D8

I can at least promise a lot of these theories are gonna be answered sooner or later

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Damsels Don’t Wear Glasses this week! Please also give a special thank you to J Alice Bown for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Damsels Don’t Wear Glasses, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: http://damsels-dont-wear-glasses.com/

J Alice’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/JAliceBown

J Alice’s Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/A732E2D

J Alice’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/AlicesBrainPad/

[kiss-my-freckle]

Katarina & Ilya

Histories.

Not one alternate history, but two. Simple math. Because one fake identity can’t protect two people. 

Katarina: Don’t you understand? He was my asset. I’d been siphoning intel off of him for years. You don’t think we had plans in place to destroy him if he ever found out that he was sleeping with the enemy? Money in secret accounts. Paper trails of payoffs. Passports in safety-deposit boxes - evidence that I didn’t steal his secrets, but that he shared them with me. Ilya: Alternate history.

I believe this was their reason for introducing the crossword puzzle before they actually introduced Ilya Koslov. Because he has an alternate history as well, but they left his out of the episode so they could focus on Katarina’s rebirth. 

Katarina is Ilya (Thanks, George)

Suitcase parallels gif set. Rassvet parallels gif set. 

Red would already know “Katarina’s” location if she were his imposter creation, especially a hire like Vanessa Cruz. 

Red’s emotional investment. You can tell this is someone he loves and cares for, and has for a long time. 

An imposter creation wouldn’t be in danger. Whether she were wearing a Sinclair-created face or using Katarina’s identity, discontinued use would be a simple solution. This is someone Red had to travel to Paris for. 

Despite her being wanted by two powerful countries, no one has been able to locate her in the 30 years she’s been missing. This leads me to believe she’ll be someone who hasn’t been actively using Katarina’s identity. 

Paper trails. The passports. The travel. This would be Ilya. He’s the one who did Katarina’s passports and paperwork, and likely did Virginia’s as well. I believe he has a specific signature, a way of doing things - to the point it would get noticed by those who know this. I believe that’s how The Stranger was able to locate her so quickly. 

Ilya: Good luck, Anna Croft. Katarina: Money in secret accounts, paper trails of payoffs. Passports in safety-deposit boxes. Katarina: You’re gonna take the ferry to New London, and then you’ll take the bus to Boston. Katarina: Ilya liquidated his bank account to access cash. It’s in this suitcase, and it’s enough to go wherever you want. There are documents in there - a passport, a Social Security card - everything you’ll need. Katarina: For this to work, we’d need passports, cash, access, time. Ilya is likely the one who set up the p,o, box for Dom and Virginia.  Ressler: I don’t understand. The letter was sent to a woman. Jake: Well, the box is registered to a Tracey Ivers, but that’s the guy who picked it up.

The way Red and The Stranger refer to "Katarina.”

When Red spoke of them searching for her, he only referred to “Katarina.” 

Red: They’re actively looking for Katarina.

Not “They’re actively looking for her.”

Red: If Moscow is looking for Katarina -

Not “If Moscow is looking for her -

When The Stranger spoke of Katarina, he only referred to “her.”

The Stranger: I found her.

Not “I found Katarina.”

The Stranger: It’s her. I’m telling you, Raymond. Paper trails. The passports. The travel. It’s her.

Not “It’s Katarina. I’m telling you, Raymond. Paper trails. The passports. The travel. It’s Katarina.

The Stranger refers to Red as Raymond, Liz as Masha, but Oleander as Dom. Red refers to Agnes as “Masha’s daughter.” 

The Stranger seems to know Red’s real identity as well as Katarina’s. 

The Stranger has the kind of access to track and locate “this woman.”

The Stranger understates -

Red: If Moscow is looking for Katarina - if Agent Ressler’s inquiry has reignited their search - The Stranger: Then I know that could be bad.

It could be more than bad. And if The Stranger knew how bad, he wouldn’t have to ask if Red were sure about this. 

The Stranger: Raymond, are you sure about this? If you’re not sure - Red: I’m sure. 

I believe the writers are purposefully misleading, hoping we’ll believe The Stranger is Ilya. Pushing it too much for my taste.

Their trust & childhood friendship -

Rassvet (6x19): Alone in a foreign country after a mission goes catastrophically wrong, Katarina Rostova goes on the run to avoid the forces trying to hunt her down. Out of options, she seeks the only person she trusts: a man who has vowed to always protect her.

Ilya: Well, we pledged our lives to each other. Katarina: When we were 6. Ilya: And a promise is a promise.

Stranger: Have I ever let you down? Red: Once. When we were children. Stranger: You wouldn’t give back the truck. I’ll get this done. Red: You’re always so optimistic. Stranger: I thought that’s why you loved me. Red: I love you because I can trust you.

The overall feel of their relationship comes off different. 

Red knowing “Katarina’s” status. Canon and dialogues. 

Because everyone likes to scream “canon!” Red doesn’t lie to Liz.

Red knew the woman was alive. If he truly believed "Katarina" was dead, then he wouldn't have bothered to search for her. He would've continued thinking her dead and considered the Russians’ search for her to be a complete waste of time. The moment he found out diplomatic plates were looking for intel, he set up a meeting with his friend. Had he simply assumed her dead, he would've had things in place that made it possible to actively search for her for the past 30 years, yet he only cared to look for her when he found out the Russians were.

Proof that he knew she was alive -

Red: I want this done before Masha’s daughter comes home.

He wasn’t talking about the meeting in Paris, he was talking about his friend locating her. So Red knew and felt he could depend on his friend getting this done. If he truly believed her dead, again - wouldn’t have bothered. 

More proof that he knew she was alive -

Liz: You put Agnes at risk. Red: Agnes was never at risk.

Red would NEVER put Agnes at risk. 

“If MY Katarina was still here, she would have let me know.” - Dom, 6x19

Red’s “Oh, my God.“ when looking at the photo of “Katarina” falls parallel to Naomi’s facial response to seeing “Red” in S2. Not the kind of response from someone who supposedly believed her dead. He continues looking at the photo. 

The Townsend Directive.

Why I believe it has nothing to do with the President's conspiracy or Red's criminal empire, and everything to do with Red himself - with who he is. 

The President’s conspiracy literally started at the start of the season, so it lasted as long as most their story arcs do. Dr. Hans Koehler was killed by The Corsican after having facial surgery to infiltrate the U.N. and plant one of Max’s bombs. They’re not going to drag this conspiracy out another season. JB himself stated that the President's conspiracy is "Not what you expect." Because it had nothing to do with the fate of the country and everything to do with Diaz’s reputation. 

The writers confirmed its conclusion in interview. Two examples -

The season has involved watching the plot of the president (guest star Benito Martinez), a plot where the president plans to assassinate himself and nobody knows why. “We finally get to put that story to bed tonight, in what I think is a really surprising and unexpected way,” executive producer John Eisendrath exclusively tells Parade.com. “This is a blockbuster finish!” (Link)

"I think what we have coming up in tonight's episode is the resolution to a season-long conspiracy," Bokenkamp said. "This all started with our first episode of the season, with a bombing at the U.N. and a cover-up, and it has led us to this episode, where we are presented with the question of 'why would the president of the United States be part of and support a plot to assassinate the president of the United States?' So we've got great stakes. Our Task Force has been arrested, Anna McMahon is in charge, it's a big episode, it's a lot of fun, and I think it ultimately has a really surprising and satisfying answer." (Link)

Nor do I believe this is specific to Red’s criminal empire. He dealt with his employees when he got out of prison. 

I believe it’s more specific to Red and his true identity.  Leslie Townsend's Story, Hidden in Plain Sight. 

In episode 18, Dembe walked away from Red.

Red: Where are you going? Dembe: I’ve followed your path long enough. It’s time I follow my own.

In episode 20, Ressler informed Liz.

Ressler: A couple of weeks ago, I got the drop on some KGB mook who had heard that I was looking into Katarina. Wanted to know what kind of leads I had.

In episode 21, Liz informed Red.

Red: Your mother can’t hurt you. Liz: Because she’s dead? The Russians don’t seem to think so. When Ressler was trying to help me find out who you were, he went looking for her and was confronted by the KGB about what he found out. 

In episode 22, Dembe returned.

Where in episode 22 did Dembe return? Let’s look at the timeline. Red asked Ressler about the Russians Liz mentioned in episode 21. Almost immediately, he set up a meeting with The Stranger because of the diplomatic plates. As I mentioned above, Red didn’t say the Russians were actively looking for this specific woman, he said they were looking for “Katarina.” He also didn’t refer to this specific woman as “Katarina.” He simply said he wanted “this” done. The Stranger replied in kind. “I’ll get this done.” So he needed to locate this specific woman before Agnes got home. This being what led to the Townsend Directive and Dembe’s return. 

Red: So, are you back? Does this mean I’m forgiven? Dembe: The Townsend Directive. Our friend in Miami says it’s in play. Red: Is that why you’re here? Dembe: He says it’s very important.

Dembe basically telling Red just as Red told Liz -

Liz: So where does that leave us? Red: With a case. Until it’s solved, our conflict can wait.

Red: It’s critical. But not as critical as knowing why you’re here.

Red confirming it’s critical because Dembe has been gone since 6x18, but he wants to know where they stand and he’s not willing to wait for that answer. 

Dembe: I said I needed to follow my own path. I did. It led me back to you.

"You" being a gender-neutral pronoun. That's like Jennifer saying "you" when Red told her the CIA and the KGB were hunting one individual. We’ve heard much of Katarina throughout the season. From the very beginning during Red’s trial. Discussions about her between Red and Liz and the danger she poses to Agnes. Red’s conversations with Dom as he sought advice on Dembe. And in 6x19 with DomTimeStories. The one scene that stuck out to me was Dembe’s with Liz in General Shiro’s episode.

Liz: He said I reminded him of my mother. That’s what he said when I asked him why he gave us this case. Dembe: He’s right. You remind me of her too.

I believe Dembe was referring to Katarina. “It led me back to you.” Take this to the end scene with imposter Katarina. I bring this up because Katarina is someone Dembe loves, you can tell by his face. I do believe Dembe went to Paris with Red. “And we need to be someplace.” It’s one thing for Red to take a meeting alone while Dembe watches from a car down the street, and quite another to venture another country without backup. One can’t be sure, but it’s possible Dembe was resting comfortably in the back of the van that took Red. 

Putting on a show. 

It’s of no coincidence that Dembe returns just as Red is about to meet up with “Katarina” in Paris. And yet - we don’t see Dembe at all. Now, many questioning if Dembe is currently siding with the real Katarina because they don’t want her to be an imposter. Well, she is. Not once did Red or The Stranger refer to her as Katarina. In fact, this scene is the only time she’s referred to as such, and Red was the one who made the reference. 

What does Red do? He calls out Katarina. I’m sure that pulled their watchers to the window. What I couldn’t figure out while considering this scene, is why the Russians would remain perched rather than attempting to arrest her. She’s walking down the street alone. Not only at the start of the scene, but after the van leaves with Red. Quite calm, while seemingly being watched. But is she being watched by the Russians? So I went back to Ressler being watched by the Russians. 

Notice the man refers to Dom as Katarina’s father rather than Oleander. 

Shadow: My superiors. They want to know why you’re interested in Katarina Rostova’s father.

And he warns Ressler. Shadow: We’ll be watching, Agent Ressler. 

These aren’t shadows. If they were, they’d have been following “Katarina” as they were following Ressler. They remained perched in the window as if not knowing who they were watching. Regular citizens to act as witnesses like that homeless girl Jennifer paid off. “You’ll never believe what I saw outside my window! This blonde woman named Katarina injected and kidnapped some man in a hat.” Now you have a witness stating such a thing, and able to give a descriptions of both. The woman, purposefully making her injection needle visible to their audience. Now the Russians have a solid lead. Katarina is in Paris and she just kidnapped RR. 

Remember Liz on her phone, and Ross faking her kidnapping? Much like the kids in The Third Estate. Now the opposite side because they need evidence opposite the Seaduke evidence. "Katarina" stages her torture and death. Leaves the real Katarina's DNA behind.

“Are they watching?”

Think of Sutton Ross and Liz in the S5 finale. And as I already pointed out in another post, Red proved in an open courtroom that Katarina framed him for treason. So within a single episode, this friend of Red’s supposedly finds the one woman two powerful countries hasn’t been able to locate in the past 30 years, and we're to fall for it along with this scene? ahahahaha

Many thanks to my fellow Rederina theorists on fb.  I’ll edit to add as new stuff arises. 

[amethystina]

Cougar/Jensen for 6 &22!

Alrighty then! Let’s see what I can come up with ;)

THE TROPES:6. Bookshop AU22. Space AU

Again, below the cut because I don’t want to swamp your dashes with my over-excited writing. Someone seriously needs to stop me.

Jake’s gig at the bookshop is pretty nice, all things considered, be it a career path he had never quite expected. He’s always been more fond of technology than books, but the money is surprisingly good and it’s not like he’s got anything better to do after deciding not to continue his career within the Army. He got the job as store manager at the small, obscure second-hand bookshop through a series of unlikely events involving kind, elderly neighbours, their children, and a fair share of luck.

Overall, Jake likes it. The books in the store are so old and weird that the only patrons are either obscenely rich collectors or obscenely eccentric enthusiasts.

Jake gets along better with the latter than the former, unsurprisingly, but that might just be because of his experience of growing up in a poor neighbourhood and the innate dislike he has for rich people.

Either way, he enjoys his job. He gets to spend most of his time playing games on his phone or reading through the insane amount of weird books in stock, which has taught him even more useless knowledge than his Googling. It’s a cushy job that allows him to spend the majority of his time as he likes, and most of his evenings with Jess and Beth. All in all, Jake is quite comfortable with his life.

That changes, however, when a stranger steps into the shop.

That in itself is pretty unusual since most of the patrons are regulars aside from the occasional hipster who wanders in looking for first editions of some book they love. And, to make matters worse, Jake can tell straight away that this is not a man he should take lightly.

Jake can’t put his finger on what it is about the man that unsettles him, but he seems off, somehow. Perhaps it’s the fact that his clothes have a weird cut, or maybe it’s the smooth, almost predatory way he moves. He’s clearly a fighter of some sort — Jake knows that walk from his years in the Army — which doesn’t calm him at all.

He tells himself it must be his imagination when the stranger’s eyes seem to flash gold for the briefest of seconds.

The man’s eyes are brown. A beautiful, dark, rich brown for sure, but brown, not gold.

To Jake’s infinite surprise, the man doesn’t seem to be there to rob the store. Instead, he smiles politely and asks for a book. It’s one they have — one of the old sci-fi novels about a prophecy and magic and lost princesses and whatnot. It is, admittedly, one of Jake’s favourites because of how utterly fantastic it is, and he’s very excited to find another person who is interested in it — be it someone who might also be a serial killer.

Jake fetches the book, talking all the while, but stop short when he notices the way the stranger is looking at him. There’s too much intensity in his dark gaze, as if he’s cataloging every inch of Jake with disturbing interest.

Jake is understandably uncomfortable and hands over the book, careful not to let their hands brush as he does so. The stranger looks down at the book, clearly amused, but says nothing more before he pays and leaves. Jake isn’t sure what that was about, but he knows for a fact that he doesn’t like it. He pushes it from his mind, however, writing it down as yet another weird customer and continues with his day.

Except, on his way home after closing up the shop, he sees the man again.

Jake is far too cautious not to notice someone following him and he is both unnerved and pissed at the man’s audacity. Before Jake has time to confront him, however, he is attacked by… well, Jake isn’t entirely sure.

They don’t look like anything he’s ever seen — black, insect-like things, except they’re the size of dogs and have far too many teeth for Jake’s liking. It’s like something out of a horror movie and the only thing that saves him from an early death are his reflexes, honed from years of training.

Well, that and the creepy stranger.

The man is suddenly there, cutting through the nightmare creatures with something that looks suspiciously like a lightsaber yet not at all, and Jake gives up on trying to follow the situation. He doesn’t even struggle when the man grabs his hand and drags him off down a narrow street, clearly intent on getting them away from whatever they’re now running from. As far as Jake’s concerned, he’ll take a creepy stranger over certain death.

It takes a while, but they eventually manage to shake the creatures. Before Jake has time to ask what the FUCK is going on and why THE HELL this stranger suddenly does have golden eyes after all — slitted like a cat’s and distractingly bright — the man mumbles a soft, “Sorry,” followed by a jolt of electricity that makes everything go black.

Jake wakes up in a foreign bed and has no idea where he is, but the man who apparently had the nerve to taze him is sitting calmly on a chair at the opposite side of the room, arms crossed over his chest and eyes keen. For a split second, Jake debates grabbing the weird-looking clock on the bedside table and throwing it at the man, but then his gaze happens to land on the window.

There are stars outside. Only stars. Just a wide expanse of stars, stretching out into what Jake knows is almost literal infinity.

“I have been kidnapped by aliens,” is what he blurts out, rather than the angry accusations he had intended.

The stranger tips his head as if to say “fair enough” but says nothing else. Jake has no idea what to do with that. He has no idea what to do with ANYTHING in his current surroundings. He’s in a room that is grey and bland and there’s soft humming of engines in the background and some kind of control panel on the wall and he is undeniably on a spaceship of some kind. And the man in front of him is some kind of alien because those eyes are not natural and Jake has to be dreaming.

Except he knows he’s not.

When he asks why he’s there — what the stranger wants from him — he’s told it’s for his protection. That makes no sense at all to Jake because he lives a dull, uneventful life since he left the Army and he certainly hasn’t done anything that warrants getting kidnapped by aliens.

When he keeps pushing, he gets an eye-roll for his troubles and the stranger reaches into his pocket and tosses something across the room. The book the stranger bought from the store lands in Jake’s lap and he looks down at it in confusion.

“It’s all real,” the stranger says, as if that’s enough of an explanation.

It isn’t.

When Jake points this out, the man sighs and tells him to read the book. Jake tells him that he already has — it’s one of his favourites. The man smiles at this, as if he finds that funny, but Jake doesn’t.

The book is about a rich, beautiful planet on the other side of the galaxy on which a civil war breaks out when the king is betrayed and assassinated. His five sons all battle for the throne, almost tearing their planet apart in the process, and they end up plotting and murdering each other as the story goes along. There are twists and turns and, eventually, the youngest brother is the only one who remains standing. But only after it has been revealed that he was the one who murdered their father, corrupted by the old, forbidden magic that runs through their planet.

Out of all the other children of the king, only the daughter survives. The princess flees from her planet in desperation and fear of her brother’s wrath, but the story ends with the prophecy of her return — how she will come back and take the throne from her brother and cleanse their planet of the foul magic once and for all.

Jake has always been disappointed that there’s wasn’t a sequel somewhere, where the princess does all the things the prophecy says that she will. Jake has looked far and wide, but there are no records of it anywhere and, since the book was written at the end of the last century, Jake knows the author isn’t likely to take requests, what with being dead and all.

“It’s all real,” the man repeats, nodding towards the book. “The lost princess. The prophecy.”

As much as Jake likes that thought, he’s still not pleased.

“And what does that have to do with me?” he asks.

Liking the story is hardly enough grounds to get kidnapped. He receives a flat look in return, followed by a shake of the man’s head.

“It is time,” he says, which isn’t foreboding at all. “For her return.”

Jake gets frustrated. “Again, what does that have to do with me?”

And then comes the words that completely rearranges Jake’s grasp on the world, himself, and the galaxy as a whole.

“Everything, Your Highness,” the man says. “Everything.”

I really need to stop here or else I’ll end up writing the whole thing and I don’t have time. But yeah! JAKE IS A SPACE PRINCESS! Because I say so.

So, like, the actual story would be about reclaiming the planet and falling in love with Cougar and all that lovely shit. Because I can’t think of short space AUs?

ANYWAY. I hope you enjoyed that ;)

[meant-to-be-a-hero]

Ranger Rankings - Power Rangers Megaforce

I couldn't decide whether Megaforce and Super Megaforce should be one, like Samurai and Super Samurai were, or not, but they're so different that I think they deserve it.

Premise - 2.5

It's Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers with a re-skin, and it doesn't really pretend to be otherwise. Like it's literally the same premise, right down to the giant talking head and the aliens from outer space. I like the nostalgia factor, but it's far too basic for what Power Rangers should be at this point. It's not bad, and it's reliable, but we can do better.

Character Dynamics - 2

This frustrated me a lot. There's so much that they could have done with these characters, but they don't. Like, they're thrown together, and they're obviously all from different worlds, so there should have been some growing pains, right? But no, they're all together, they have to fight as a team, so they just...do.

While it's nice to see them all get along, it would have been a little more realistic if theyd' butted heads a bit more. Or if we'd seen more of why like Jake and Noah were friends before this, given that they're so different, or how Troy felt being the total outsider being thrust into the team leader position.

And they're all pretty static in terms of character arcs. Aside from Jake getting up the courage to ask Gia out, they don't evolve much beyond their original characters when we're first introduced to them.

I know Troy's kind of looked down on for being wooden, but I think he did a decent job with it. The other actors are all fairly solid, but Jayden still gets the prize for blandest Red Ranger if you ask me, unfortunately.

I would really have liked them to spend more time with the characters in this season, since there's almost no time to do so in Super Megaforce, but we'll get to that next time.

Oh, and Gosei's a waste, honestly. He's a big talking head, but he doesn't do anything in the way of mentoring the Rangers as opposed to just telling them to do things. Tensou's neurotic, but he's less annoying than Alpha was at least. And Ernie and Mr. Burley are just there for punchlines - I don't think either of them actually add to the plot at all.

Sixth Ranger Arc - 4

Robo Knight's arc is easily the best part of Megaforce. Learning to be a team player, to care about people as much as he does the planet, is a good arc to go through, and the fact that it takes five or six episodes for him to get there rather than just learning it all in one go and then becoming a generic Sixth Ranger was a nice change.

It all kind of comes home to roost in the Christmas episode, of all things, where he gives us all the clips from past episodes with his own understanding of how the Rangers/humans work. It's a nice end cap.

It's a shame he disappears for so long after the end of Megaforce, although I get why. It does make the first few episodes of Super Megaforce have a bit more of an impact though, especially Troy's determination to find him again, and when he returns right at the end of Super Megaforce, it's nice to see an old friend.

He also only gets brainwashed once, and that's only in Super Megaforce, so he beats out other robot characters like Blue Centurion automatically.

Plot Development - 3

Megaforce has a lot going on in terms of plots, even if they're all mostly the same thing - it's just different factions of villains taking it in turns to try and destroy the Earth.

The Insectoids are okay, although it's clear the writers didn't think the whole 'bugs vs. humans' thing through because they run out of recognisable bugs fairly early on.

The Toxic Mutants sideplot works only because it goes hand in hand with Robo Knight's arc about protecting the planet, otherwise they're just a sidebar with no real point.

And then we get the real cream of the season, Vrak's robots, for the final third.

I will say though, the final few episodes are very good, and the last shots with the Armada attacking and the cliffhanger ending to the series are great. It's a shame Super Megaforce rolls it all back in like two episodes though.

While most of Megaforce doesn't feel as much like a plot progression as it does the set-up changing and the plot staying still, it does mean we get some different questions to consider with each new villain group, and it does build to a satisfying conclusion at least.

Villains - 3

For a season with so many enemies, there's not many that actually stand out.

Creepox is decent, but Malkor's just generic shout-y villain.

Bigs and Blufur have some kind of personalities at least, but neither of them are particularly interesting.

Vrak's easily the standout, because he's meant to be - he follows through into next season, and he's the main link between the villains in Megaforce and the ones in Super Megaforce since he's Vekar's brother. But he's also the most actually villainous, and he has the most personality of them all too.

I did enjoy Metal Alice though; for a robot, she had some really good development. I especially enjoyed the fact that she took away some of Vrak's 'humanity' by making him half-robot, and then he leaves her to die because he doesn't care about her any longer. Poetic justice. And she admired him without falling all over him like she was in love, when that was the easy route to take.

Also, loogies. Loogies. Loogies. Why?

Overall - 2.90

Hottest Ranger - Probably Troy, because jawline. Jake had a really nice smile though. I'll talk more about Noah next season.

Notable Episodes:

Harmony And Dizchord - Emma has a lovely singing voice and defeats the monster of the week with it. Yeah, that's it.

Last Laugh - Robo Knight and Noah, the two characters without a discernible sense of humour, must make a villain laugh to beat him.

The Messenger/End Game - Because the finales are almost always the best part of the season.

[landofquartzandmelody]

ok i finished hiveswap act 1 lmao. i actually liked most of it a lot i think? and there’s a lot to talk about and there’s also a few things which were like.. Incredibly annoying. my overall impression was good tho! i’m going to dump my thoughts under a readmore though so no one accidentally gets spoiled

obvious warning for that !!

the setting is actually incredibly detailed and i occupied myself for a long time clicking on everything in the background? the art was really pretty and the actual gameplay itself was really smooth and not glitchy at all.

the video cutscenes didn’t play for me at all lmao. I had a few tabs of text-only websites open, and join.me, and that was it. i couldn’t easily lower the settings to make it run smoother either? which was really annoying, and i don’t see why the cutscenes were sooo much harder for my computer to get through than the actual gameplay.

the only other glitch i had was a framing glitch in jude’s treehouse i think

i liked most of the puzzles a lot and it all seemed very organic and fun. using items on other items was pretty cool, and i only got stuck like once or twice.

i really did not like the snake game mainly because i had to swap to using my keyboard for that and that alone lmao.

the monster fights were REALLY fun, i thought. they had a really classic homestuck feel.

it was kind of hard to walk up and down the stairs, actually. there wasn’t enough room to click where you needed to go and that was a bit irritating

i really really really loved the harleyclaire mansion!! everything about the first part of the game was REALLY good!!!

there’s so much to get into with jake and joey and jude and anna claire that it’s nuts tbh. but i really liked everything about that. imo it dealt with parental issues in a lot more depth than hs ever did, and surprisingly nuanced parental issues is definitely an hs thing. but joey’s problems with jake are a lot more fleshed out and realistic.

definitely one of the themes is that the adults in joey’s life have never been there for her. her mom isn’t there because she’s dead, roxy isn’t ‘there’ because she’s irresponsible and is already developing drinking problems, and jake isn’t there because he’s always been somewhere else. so there’s something interesting when xefros talks about parents there

i think i was expecting jake to be a decent father so i was definitely really sad when it became obvious that he was kind of.. not? and it’s evident that he’s really screwed joey up, but i think that it’s also very in line with how canon portrays jake. like his biggest flaw was being unwilling to put in the emotional work and commitment that his friends needed.

sometimes he was definitely scared of those, so i can easily conceive of jake taking the easy way out and heading out to trawl the pacific for a meteor baby.

the line about how ‘having a second thing which is sort of like the first thing but somewhere else is exactly the same as having the first thing’

it’s interesting that jade and joey both do the same thing by projecting on their dead guardians. jade’s thinking is a lot more magical than joey’s, but it really shines a light on how everything we assumed about grandpa harley was through the eyes of a girl who never really got to know him.

and like he died well before he could disappoint her, so.

it was REALLY really sad but i don’t think i actually have a problem with it.

part of the reason i don’t have a problem with it is bc it made joey claire’s characterization SO much more compelling

because she’s very angry at her father for doing the things he did, and is openly disparaging about him, and even chooses to use her mother’s last name instead of his? but she’s not angry or hard or bitter

i love my hard trauma girls but it’s really nice that joey just gets kinder and better in the face of a childhood full of neglect- without being pushed to forgive or minimize the damage that was done to her

the detail about joey absolutely refusing to use guns because she doesn’t want to be like her dad, and choosing to love animals and heal them was so good. and how that’s framed as an act of rebellion?

like the idea that kindness can be radical but that =/= forgiveness.

we didn’t see a lot of jude but i loved everything about him so much

like it was pretty subtle so i don’t know if y’all would consider it ‘canon’ but the bit where joey says that ‘when things got bad with my brother, our babysitter took him to see a doctor, and he was better for a while’ seems like it’s saying joey is being treated for a mental illness of some sort?

which seems completely in line with his character! he almost falls into the trap where it’s like ‘we all called this person crazy for seeing all these conspiracies but he was right all along’ but he doesn’t and that’s nice. it’s very subtle and pretty respectful imo. (also, fox mulder)

he and joey are the cutest siblings in the entire universe, and he was so sweet to her. he seems very earnest about wanting to protect her and caring about her.

the part where his birds left him made me SOOOO SAD. it was so sad. i felt so bad for him. I named dammek’s catdeer Frohike to pay my respects even though frohike was the worst gunman.

i’m really worried about him tho. i hope he’ll be okay without joey around

joey claire is such an obvious lesbian

honestly i know a lot of people were nervous because it seemed like it was setting her up to have a relationship with xefros but i absolutely don’t think that’s the case, just because she’s definitely gay.

every time she looked at a picture of a girl in the harleyclaire mansion she had one gay thought or another, and her entire room was plastered completely in images of pretty girls. not ONE guy.

there was also a lot of dialogue which implied she felt guilty or ashamed of how she felt when looking at girls, or like she wasn’t sure if she was allowed to, or if people would judge her for having pretty pictures of girls on her walls.

also her password being the name of a boy she has certainly never met or talked to, and who we never saw an image of (despite said guy being an actor? i think) or heard mentioned before

the scene where xefros mentions he is a boy who likes boys and joey is like ‘oh. huh’ seems to me like it’s very obviously from the pov of a lesbian who had absolutely no idea what a lesbian is, or that she is allowed to be one. 

i think joey is definitely going to realize she is gay at some point in the future acts

i didn’t expect to like or care about xefros as much as i did?

he was obnoxious at first but basically as soon as we figured out what was up with dammek and that xefros thought he’d been speaking to dammek he became 100% less annoying and i started liking him a lot lmao.

he and joey had a really sweet friendship, actually.

homestuck breezed over a lot of the more horrible things about troll civilization, but hiveswap did a very good job of making it patently obvious how horrible troll civilization is for xefros and other lowbloods, and i think it has a redeeming effect on the Other Stuff.

i like that they made it obvious what’s happening is horrible and needs to like, stop or whatever, and don’t like... condemn the revolutionaries.

his situation isn’t really played for laughs or mocked.

that being said a lot of the writing for dammek was really really annoying and dumb.

people like dammek definitely exist and i think hiveswap does a faaairly decent of not conflating dammek being a shithead with the rest of the movement? the joke about personal property was very very annoying lmao but the movement itself is portrayed as legitimate and necessary. it’s a dumb reactionary type of joke but it doesn’t ruin the game for me

i do think he’s going to Learn To Be A Better Person while he’s hanging out with jude. i don’t think he’s going to get a vriska type arc at all but i do think he’ll learn the error of his ways.

i wish that we’d gotten to see a bit more of his personal motivation for being so intense about revolution.

i ALSO wish they hadn’t used like actual symbols of movements in the bg that was really annoying and crass imo. and if they had to, i wish xefros had had an anarchist flag or whatever.

abuse / neglect are big themes in hs so i’m not really surprised at all that they came back? they definitely shouldn’t have advertised dammek and xefros as being cute moirails though because it’s kind of scummy to do a bait and switch like that.

i don’t think the game’s going to be hetero though. xefros and joey would be incredibly ugly and i doubt it’ll happen

i also think homestuck the original thing is actually pretty on the nose about class stuff, even if it does feel the need to like couch that in Fake Alien Racism? at the very least i’d be surprised if hiveswap tried to pull the You’re The Same As Your Oppressors thing

i’m still annoyed that there was so much promo art of xefros and dammek being cute together when the actual game condemned every interaction they had. i think that it would have been possible to say the same things as they wanted to while also not making dammek a crazy leftist stereotype and grounding him in reality like a real person.

to be fair, we are going to get a sequel game with him, so he’ll probably be fleshed out a LOT better then.

trizza is somehow so much more evil than expected? how evil she is feels a lot more real than like, the condesce, tbh. she feels like a real person

i’m SUPER curious about cridea now and i can’t wait to see what she’ll be like

[amethystina]

For the DVD commentary: The Snowball Fight (because I know everyone's gonna ask for Hyperborean and Don't Tell Cougar)😀💜

So. Guess who did this thing and then accidentally saved it as a draft instead of queuing it? Sorry for the long wait, but, in my defense, I DID finish it rather quickly, I just failed to post it.

ANYHOW. The Snowball Fight is a 4k one shot so I won’t be commenting on ALL of it (because then we really will be here all day) but I’ll pick out some of my favourite bits! It’s still super long, though, so more below the cut!

Fair warning: I haven’t read this one in ages so many of the comments are just my reactions to my own writing, and not all of them are intelligent.

“Jensen,no. No.” Pooch took a cautious step backwards, holding up his hands inwhat could be a warning or an attempt to protect himself. It was difficult totell. “No, Jensen, don’t you dare. Jense—!” [The majority of this paragraph was actually not written by me (seeing as it was a writing prompt) but I feel like I made the most of it. I have no idea why I decided to write about a snowball fight, but it sounded like a good idea at the time]

Whateverelse Pooch had intended to say was smothered by the handful of snow Jake threwat his face. [I feel bad for Pooch, I really do] Jess really would have believed Pooch capable of ducking, but thenagain, he had probably thought that Jake wouldn’t go through with it. Whichproved just how much Pooch overestimated Jake’s level of maturity as soon assnow was involved. [Writing from Jess’s POV was an interesting experience and I’m really happy that I did it. I got to explore so many of the characters from a new perspective, which actually helped my overall view of them. Outside POV can do WONDERS for your grasp on characters. I strongly recommend it to all the writers out there.]

The factthat Jake gave Beth an enthusiastic high five while Pooch was busy spitting outsnow only seemed to confirm that fact. [They make a good team!]

“Forfu— fudge’s sake! Jensen!” Pooch snapped, no doubt attempting to chastise —but it sounded a lot more like whining. [I love Pooch. Does that show?]

Jesssnorted on a laugh and took a sip from her coffee cup. She stood leaningagainst the back porch railing, watching the others frolic in the snow. [This whole fic is just fluff and cuteness and I really wanted to show how calm and relaxed everyone is, including Jess. So while she’s not engaged in the snowy adventures, she’s definitely content, just standing there watching them.] Swearwords were not allowed in the presence of her daughter and that was a rathercreative save, she must admit. [Pooch is the one who respects this the most, hence the fudge. Jake occasionally slips up without meaning to and feels bad every single time because he might be corrupting his beloved niece. As for Cougar, Jess had to explain very calmly and very firmly that cursing in Spanish still counts and him thinking it didn’t won’t save him from punishment. Clay and Roque (while he was still on the team) are almost entirely banned from speaking at all, because they clearly can’t be trusted to keep their language clean.]

“What?”Jake was grinning, his cheeks pink from the cold and knitted hat askew. Muchlike his glasses, which he proceeded to push back into place. [I can’t be the only one who thinks this is cute. An excited Jake is always adorable and even more so when he looks like this.] “It wasfunny. That was funny, right?” He turned to Beth, as if to ask for herinput, and Beth, naturally, nodded enthusiastically. As if she would ever takePooch’s side over her beloved uncle’s. “See! Beth thinks it wasfunny!” [Actual nine-year-old Jake Jensen. Just look at this dork.]

“She’seight, Jensen,” Pooch repliedtestily, rubbing the sleeve of his jacket across his face to wipe away the lastremnants of snow.

“Andthree quarters!” Beth piped up, clearly offended to have her age sogrievously mislabeled. [Practically all kids do this, don’t they?]

“Yes,and three quarters,” Jake agreed, nodding seriously. [Again: actual nine-year-old Jake Jensen.] Beth grinned up athim and Jess fought an urge to shake her head. Sometimes she wasn’t sure whowas the older and more responsible of the two, but on most given days she’d beinclined to say Beth. [I agree with Jess.]

—

“He’sasleep?” Jess asked when Jolene came to stand next to her.

Jolenenodded, her smile soft and gentle, no doubt imagining the peaceful, sleepingface of her baby boy. Jess would have done the same and she couldn’t helpfeeling a tiny squeeze in her chest, almost longing for the days when she’d hadthat very same smile. However tiring and trying it had been to care for agrowing child — even with Jake’s help — she wouldn’t change it for the world.Nothing could ever quite compare, and to see Beth now, happy and laughing, madeit all worth it. [While I’m not a mother myself, I do think being one is incredibly important to Jess. I see her as incredibly protective of her family — not to mention devoted — and I couldn’t go through the fic without mentioning that. Admittedly, in lack of personal experience, I based most of this on things my mum has said.]

—

“Yourhusband is about to find out what happens when two Jensens gang up onhim,” Jess replied, taking another sip from her coffee cup. [Jess is so proud, sipping her coffee like a boss.]

“Oh,this I got to see.” Jolene looked almost disturbingly pleased, but shepaused for a second when she took note of the fourth person currently occupyingJess’ yard. “Is Cougar building a snowman?” she asked somewhatincredulous. [I HAD TO. I just… I had to. OF COURSE Cougar is building a snowman!]

“Thathe is,” Jess confirmed, hiding her grin behind her cup. 

BecauseCougar was, in fact, building a snowman; with the same kind of calm patienceand ruthless precision that he devoted to every task he performed. He seemedcompletely unaware — or unbothered, more likely — by the increasingly unstablesituation between the other three out there in the snow with him. He just kepttweaking and adding adjustments to the impressively elaborate snowman. [I just really like the thought of Cougar putting a HUGE amount of effort into everything he does, especially things most people would find silly or childish. Like, he doesn’t give a single fuck about what other people might think because he has pride, dammit, and he’s not going to do a halfassed job just because the activity isn’t badass. Cougar is incredibly competent and devoted, is what I’m saying, and those things he finds worth his attention get ALL of his attention. Including snowmen.]

“Ithink Beth and Jake started it but got bored halfway through, so Cougar decidedto finish it,” Jess explained, her cheeks almost aching from how wide hergrin was getting. She just couldn’t help it.

It was adorable. [It really is adorable. Cougar always has Jake’s back, even if it involves finishing his snowman. Also, I genuinely think Cougar enjoys it, though he probably wouldn’t admit it. Making snowmen can be really therapeutic.]

She wasn’tashamed to admit that the first time she had met Cougar she had been slightlyintimidated by him. Or maybe that was the wrong word, considering how elusivehe was, but she had definitely been wary. She had more experience dealing withbrash, confident alpha males than she did someone who was quiet and subtle, butundoubtedly just as dangerous. It was unsettling to be met with someone she knew was calmly observing and analyzingeverything in his environment, to better make himself less noticeable and,consequentially, an even bigger threat. [The moment I decided to write from Jess’s POV, this was one of the parts I was looking forward to writing. I really, really wanted to know how Jess viewed Cougar, since she wouldn’t be as enamoured with him as Jake. She’s a fierce, protective woman so she would see more of Cougar’s flaws and be quite wary of his silences. I think she didn’t particularly like him at the start and it took her a while to really welcome Cougar into the family. And, honestly, I can’t blame her. Cougar is a terrifying man.]

She wasmore concerned about Cougar than she had ever been about Roque, because thatwas hostility she would see coming a mile away. Cougar — well, she probablywouldn’t even see it after the fact. [I am so with Jess on this. Roque can fuck shit up, definitely — and did — but Cougar is scary as fuck.]

Not thatCougar would ever harm her. Despite that he had never said anything to imply it— considering how little he spoke in general — Jess knew that Cougar regardedher and Beth as people he needed to protect at all cost. She thought that wasprobably both because of how much he had begun to care for them on a personallevel, and how much they meant to Jake. [Cougar would literally die for them, I’m sure. Because he’s dramatic like that. And I love that Jess sees through that. Jake can sometimes be a little blind because there are gaps in his confidence, but Jess knows what’s up.]

Cougarwould do anything for Jake. [Well. DUH.]

SometimesJess still couldn’t believe what she was seeing, but Cougar was unmistakablyand unapologetically head over heels in love with her dorky little brother. [Like, just imagine: Jake coming home at some point and just blurting out that he’s dating Cougar now. He probably gave Jess a heart attack because “oh my GOD Jake that might be a very bad idea”. And she wondered if she’s going to have to keep an extra eye on Cougar now because she will literally castrate him if he hurts her baby bother in any way. But then she sees them together — and the way Cougar is just so STUPIDLY in love — and it quickly changes to “I cannot believe these two are even real.” (same, Jess, same)]

Love might even be toosmall a word to describe the absolute devotion and affection Cougar felt forJake. [One of my favourite lines in this fic. I just… yes? I feel like this is true? I really can’t describe it in words. I try, but I feel like I fall short, every single time.]

—

The snowballfight took a drastic turn when Beth, in an attempt to get away from theonslaught of projectiles, ran to hide behind Cougar. [She learned this technique from her uncle.] This, of course, put himin the line of fire. The entire yard seemed to freeze when one of the snowballsintended for Beth hit Cougar in the side, making him pause in the middle ofadding the last finishing touches to his snowman. [I can very clearly picture this in my mind and, admittedly, I was giggling when I wrote it.]

Jess waspretty certain that you could hear a pin drop. [Pooch and Jake can see their lives flash before their eyes.]

Cougar wasthe first to move, turning to looking down at Beth. She was huddling behind himand her small hands — covered in a pair of pink mittens — were clinging to theedge of his coat. She was looking back up at him with her big, blue eyes, widewith sincerity and a wordless plea to avenge her honor. [This is also a technique she learned from her uncle. Cougar has literally no defenses, whatsoever, against the Jensen Puppy Eyes™, no matter if they’re from Jake himself or his niece. Cougar is so bad at this.]

Maybe Jessshould ask if Beth wanted to take acting classes? She was ruthless. And quite a natural talent, by the looks of it.

Cougar seemedalmost curious at first — as if he couldn’t quite grasp what she was doing —but eventually just smiled and patted her head comfortingly, obviously havingcome to a decision. [Cougar being extra kind to kids will forever be one of my headcanons. It just suits him.]

He thenturned to face the two grown men standing a couple of feet away. The smile was nowherein sight. And judging on the nearly identical looks of dread on both Jake’s andPooch’s faces those meager feet between them clearly wasn’t enough. An entirecontinent might not have been enough. [Considering that this is Cougar we’re talking about, an entire continent is definitely not enough.]

Cougar raisedan eyebrow and Jake and Pooch hastily pointed at each other. It was difficultto say who was the culprit; both of them looked pretty guilty. [Since I don’t actually reveal this in the fic, allow me to do so now: it was Pooch. Jake threw a snowball as well, but missed. So Pooch is actually the one to blame.]

Jake clearedhis throat, weighting insecurely on his heels.

“Whoa,hey man.” His smile was just this side of terrified. “Cougar, let’stake a moment to calm down here, okay?”

“Yeah,”Pooch agreed readily, “let’s not do anything drastic.” [Their optimism in the face of certain death is quite admirable.]

Cougarremained silent before looking back at Beth who was — bless her soul —definitely aware of the strategic benefits of recruiting Cougar as her ally andprotector. [Who wouldn’t want Cougar as their protector? Like, honestly?] He was probably well aware of her scheming, but Cougar had alwaysbeen a bit of a softie when it came to Beth. He seemed to have a hard timedenying her anything, lavishing her with attention and affection that almostsurprised Jess with its intensity. 

Every oncein a while she actually forgot that Cougar wasn’t related to Beth, since hetreated her so much like Jake did, albeit with a more mature and dependableundertone. [I think Cougar forgets that too. He would probably never call her his niece when asked, but in his head he’s sort of forgotten that he’s not actually related to her. Because he IS a huge softie when it comes to Beth and he’s so far gone that he can’t change that now. I am so, so fond of exploring the relationship between Cougar and Beth and I absolutely love to be able to show Cougar’s softer side like this. Cougar and kids, basically.]

—

It onlytook another couple of seconds before she saw the shift pass through them both.It was nothing too obvious — most people wouldn’t notice unless they knew bothJake and Cougar to the extent that Jess did — but every once in a while theyjust seemed to align.

There wasno other word for it.

Theirpostures eased, their expressions softened and ever so slowly they wouldgravitate towards each other. Just lean in an inch or two, melting into theother’s personal space as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Maybeit was. Sometimes it was eerie to see how synchronized they were, or howeffortlessly each could find the other and know what he wanted or needed. [These three paragraphs are no doubt my favourie in the entire fic. Being able to describe what I imagine Cougar and Jensen look like to an outsider was such a joy. How they fit together and how they just ARE. One of the reasons for why I love this ship — the biggest one, really — is how they, well, align, as Jess put it. They match. They’re never far apart. They’re so in tune with each other that they don’t need words. There is something so incredibly beautiful about that and I loved being able to describe it.]

Like now,when Cougar pulled off one of his gloves to wipe away some lingering snow fromJake’s face, his touch so achingly gentle that it almost made Jess’ throatseize up, just from watching it. She couldn’t hear what they were saying — theywere speaking much too low for that — but there was no mistaking the reverencein Cougar’s eyes and the awed, breathless love coloring Jake’s smile. [I wrote this damned thing and my heart still squeezes from how sweet and pure this is. THE GENTLENESS. THE CARE. THE LOVE. Kill me now.]

“I’mglad they’re happy though,” Jolene continued, just as softly. [SAME, JOLENE. SAME.]

Jess wasn’tsure if Jolene was seeing the same thing she was seeing, but she could donothing but nod in agreement.

It hadworried her at first, when she had noticed the feelings her brother harboredfor Cougar. Jake, despite being a trained soldier with more kills to his namethan Jess even wanted to consider, was trusting and emotionally vulnerable. Hewanted to be loved so badly that he didn’t know how to hold back — how to guardhimself against heartbreak and betrayal. He could so easily be taken advantageof, and before Jess got to know Cougar she feared that he was the kind ofperson who would. She feared that there wouldn’t be much left of Jake’s heart,if Cougar decided to crush him. [I love Jake. I just do. And I love the insecurities and vulnerabilities you can give him. He is a very happy and dorky person, but he’s far from one-dimensional. The fact that he wants to be loved so badly just breaks my heart some days, and I can only imagine what it feels like for Jess. Jake is precious and needs to be protected at all costs. Fortunately, Cougar agrees.]

But ofcourse Cougar hadn’t. [He would rather die than hurt Jake. We all know this.]

Since thenJess had learned that not only was Cougar a much better man than she had evergiven him credit for, but he was as committed and sincere as Jake — maybe evenmore so. Cougar seemed to love Jake with every fiber of his being, and despitetheir differences Jess could tell that they fit each other seamlessly. [Again, Cougar doesn’t do things by halves. He’s an all-in kind of a guy and, when it comes to Jake, I think he’s in more deeply than ever. I’m pretty sure they love each other equally, but Cougar just does everything so intensely that it’s impossible to ignore just how in love he is.]

They had aneffortless quality to them that few couples ever achieved. [Another reason why I love this ship!]

How onearth someone like Cougar could put up with Jake was a bit of a mysterysometimes, but on the other hand Jess knew that they weren’t the same inprivate. She knew that Jake gave as much as Cougar did. She had heard it, thatnight when she had startled awake — not really knowing why — until she hadrealized that she had been woken by Cougar’s scream.

Jess knewall about the nightmares a soldier could get from his service — she had sat upwith Jake after some of his — and when she had quietly made her way towards theguestroom, just to make sure that they were okay, she hadn’t been surprised tohear the soft, low mumble of Jake’s voice. Soothing, sweet and unmistakablyloving. [This was mostly some show and tell. Jess speaks a lot about how Cougar and Jake fit together and give each other support, so I wanted to give a more solid example.]

Shecouldn’t hear the exact words — that was none of her business — but she didn’tdoubt for a second that as much as Cougar seemed to be the centre around whichJake orbited like an overexcited moon, Cougar wouldn’t know what to do withoutJake there to comfort and ground him. [I am very fond of this paragraph. The balance between these two is just so fascinating and I love trying to put it into words. I’m veryproud of this imagery.]

Their relationship was nowhere near as uneven as some might think. [THIS is incredibly important to me. I want everyone to know that this isn’t just Cougar putting up with Jensen because he loves him, but, in fact, an equal relationship. They might need each other in different ways, but neither of them got the short straw. Fucking fight me.] Jess had beenhesitant at first, but it was things like this — seeing them there in the snow,sinking deeper into an intimacy that had nothing to do with physical touch, buteverything to do with belonging — that made her relax. [COUGAR AND JENSEN BELONG TOGETHER. PASS IT ON.]

Theirpersonalities might be almost complete polar opposites, but they fit togetherperfectly as a whole. What her brother had found in Cougar — what they hadfound in each other — was clearly not within the realms of what normal mortalshad. [Jess is such a romantic. And so am I. Just look at these two dorks. I love them.]

Call her aromantic, [This is what I get for not reading ahead — I genuinely made the comment above before reading this. SO YEAH. I AM CALLING HER A ROMANTIC.] but Jess just couldn’t see them any other way, now that she hadgotten used to them as an item. It wasn’t that they disappeared into the otheror even changed to fit as a whole; they just were. Simple as that. [Honestly, this is me speaking through Jess. I literally cannot unsee this ship. Whenever I watch the movie with a new person, I always forget that Cougar and Jensen isn’t a couple in canon and find it weird to have to point it out that I ship them. It’s it obvious? To me it just seems to natural. I am in so, so deep.]

She was actually kind of envious. [My question is: who isn’t?]

—

“Jake!Did you hear that?” Jess called out to her brother who had yet to movefrom where he lay sprawled in the snow. Granted that he would have to pushCougar off in that case, and he didn’t look very inclined to do so. “Hotchocolate!”

Jake showedthat he had heard by giving her a thumbs up, but didn’t even bother to lookaway from Cougar, whose hand now rested against the bright red scarf wrappedaround Jake’s neck. They got like that sometimes, lost in their own littleworld of gentle touches and softly spoken words. [I really, really wanted to point this out. I don’t think this comes across from Cougar or Jake’s POV, but there HAS to be moment when they just zone out everything else but each other. Like, the only voice they’ll really register is each other’s and they literally won’t notice if someone else tries to talk to them. My wife and I have done this a couple of times.]

Jess shookher head and shooed Pooch and Beth into the house, but she couldn’t helplooking back over her shoulder. She still couldn’t hear what they were saying,but the tenderness was unmistakable as Jake took Cougar’s hand to kiss his nodoubt cold fingers. [Just look at these dorks.]

Thosestupid, adorable dorks. [I am clearly Jess in this situation.]

—

As weird asit had seemed at first, Jess was happy for Jake. She hadn’t seriously believedthat it would ever work out when someone as loud and energetic as Jake was in arelationship with someone as calm and steadfast as Cougar, but it did. Theywere happy and stupidly in love. [I love ships like these, where you don’t think they’re going to fit because of their personalities but they actually fit perfectly. These two are one of the best examples of that and I absolutely LOVE how caring they are. Like, no matter how you view their relationship — romantic or platonic — there’s no denying that there is a HUGE amount of love and devotion between them. These two men love each other. Their relationship is built on trust and love, and that’s just wonderful.] The fact that they had a lot of other thingson their minds — things Jess wasn’t allowed to hear about since it would onlyput her in danger — obviously didn’t stop them from cherishing what they hadtogether. [Just a brief reminder that Max isn’t dead, so I can pretend that this fic actually has a plot.]

And seeingthe two of them come tumbling in through the door ten minutes later, both ofthem shivering slightly from the cold but so obviously content, made Jesssmile. It was just impossible not to, what with the way Jake hovered behindCougar, his nose buried in Cougar’s hair and a goofy smile on his lips. [These two are so in love and I can’t deal with it. I seriously can’t. Why do I write things that are so painfully cute? Reading this again makes me want to bang my head against my desk.]

And whenJake got bold enough to tug off his mittens and shove his hands in underCougar’s clothes to warm them — and Cougar didn’tpunch him in the face for it, or even elbow him — Jess knew that she didn’thave to worry about her brother’s heart anymore. It was safe with Cougar. Heseemed to understand exactly how precious and vulnerable Jake’s heart was, andhad no intention whatsoever of jeopardizing it.

The factwas proven further by how Cougar was struggling valiantly not to squirm fromJake’s cold hands, while Jake hummed happily and nuzzled Cougar’s ear, the big,stupid dork.

And if that wasn’t love,Jess didn’t know what was. [These three paragraphs, seriously. I feel bad for Cougar because cold hands against warm skin are the worst, but the fact that he chooses to endure it is just so adorable. He loves Jake so much. And I am so happy that I wrote this fic, even if I might have given myself a couple of cavities while rereading it. I am a sucker for fluff and this whole fic is just a huge ball of fluff. I am so proud.]

SO. That was unnecessarily long! And I’m aware that most of it is just me screaming about Jensen and Cougar, but who can blame me? I LOVE this ship so, so much.

Thank you, @scriggle-scraggle, for making the request. I hope you liked it!