#hm yeah just realized I've been so stressed out these past two days that all I ate in a 48 hr period was two cups of noodles

[commandermeg]

.

[manjiropie]

do whatever is in your mind.

Young Mikey x Reader!

Warn! no warnings today! enjoy!

It's not often Mikey and I have a quarrel. We do bicker here and there, but that's what happens between friends, right?

I've joined Toman for almost a year now– although I've known Manjiro for much longer. I met him through Emma, who is a big friend of mine for as long as I can remember. She was there for me at times when I felt like there was no exit, no light. She's an extremely important part of my life– of me.

I've come to realize that I have been spending more and more time near Mikey, which is not bad, I do enjoy his presence. He may look tough and intimidating but he's just like a mochi: freezing cold on the outside but melting saccharine inside. Now that I'm a part of the gang and actually get to know and participate, I've gotten closer to him. Here and there Mikey invites me out.

"So, it's like a date?" I'd smirk suggestively at him.

"In your dreams." He'd try to hide his smile and he'd look away.

However, there are a few little habits he has that tend to send me on a rage trip. I get mad easily. Things will likely set on fire quickly. It's not that I want to, but my mother is not one of the most patient people in the world and she tells me to cool down. As if.

This last week was the cherry on top.

Mikey had crossed the line. He had pissed me off in every single way possible. He pretended not to listen to me while he was eating. He would answer me in a "oh, I don't really fucking care about what you're talking about!" way. He tripped while he was laughing hysterically at something Draken had said and his pink lemonade was all over my white shirt. He drew in an assignment that was due to the next day for my math class. He told me off for no reason at all in front of everyone in the last Toman's meeting... all of that wasn't on purpose. I am aware of how incredibly short his attention spam is when it comes to not so important affairs. But, fuck, couldn't he just be a little nicer to me? At least during last week where I was having sharp cramps in my fucking uterus? Yeah, maybe he didn't know that because I try not to be so obvious. But when he told us we'd be training last thursday I almost laid on the ground in fetal position and cried for hours. I didn't! I fought and then went home and cried.

Then, this Saturday– today –he invited me to his house to hang out. Emma was with a friend and his grandfather was out of town. When he called me to his house we never did much. We'd watch TV, hang out on the couch discussing stupid stuff, we'd be on our phones... nothing so wow. It was still fun, though.

I wasn't in the best mood to leave my comfy bed but I was way less in the mood to fight him off over the phone. So I slid out of the bed and dressed the first jeans I saw laying on the end of my bed and the oversized Nirvana shirt hanging off my chair (it's actually my dad's shirt, shhh).

~

I knocked twice on his bedroom's door.

"Come in." He yelled from inside. I open the door and he's laying on the bed, his head hanging off of it and his hair is almost touching the floor. His face lit up and he rolled over so he laid on his stomach. I walk over and sit down beside him.

"What's up with the frown?" I didn't notice I was frowning to be honest. Guess the bad mood followed me here.

I shrug.

"Ugh, don't tell me you're in a bad mood." He whines. "I called you here to chill and you're already angry. What's up?" He lays on his pillow and swings his legs to place them on my lap. I huff and shove them off, getting up.

"You've been treating me like shit the whole week and now you wanna chill?" I say, more calm than I thought.

"I did not treat you like shit this week? When do I treat you like shit?" His tone was one of disbelief and confusion.

"Ah, Mikey. Embarrassing me in front of the rest of gang; spilling your drink on my school shirt, which is now stained; ignoring me or answering like you're bored..." I list them off on my fingers. "I am the one who asks, what's up with you?! God, you're always being so unpredictable, which is good sometimes but not like this! Not to me!"

I flop down on the couch, starting to get tired of this whole thing. Knowing Mikey, I know that he'll not lay down again.

"So you're the only one allowed to have bad days now?" He sits on the edge of his bed and I turn my head around lazily, uninterested, bored, like him.

"You were laughing incredibly loud with Takemitchi and Draken friday."

"You can be so annoying sometimes."

"Oh, I'm the annoying one now?" I stand up.

"If you don't like my company, why did you even come in first place?" He also stands. We don't have much height difference, but he's hardly two inches taller than me.

His voice is calm, like always. Which makes me infuriated. "Fucking hell! Does it hurt for you to apologize!?" My sudden outburst takes him on surprise, and me, too.

"I already apologized, stop whining about it."

"I'm not whining–"

"If you weren't," he walks to his desk and sets a cup that was once beside his bed down. "You would've dropped this matter before."

"You don't give a damn about what I feel, do you, Mikey?"

"What?" He turns around, brows knit together.

"You heard me. You made me have a bad week and the least you could do is apologize, you dumbass!" I stomp to his direction.

"I already did! Why don't you–"

"Shut up or I'll punch you." I say, slightly looking up.

His eyebrows twitch and he slowly tilts his head to the side, like a puppy. "Or what.. ?"

"Are you fucking deaf?" I point to my ears.

He comes a little closer. "You're gonna do what if I don't shut up?"

"I'm going to punch you if you don't stop being a brat." I sneer at him. My blood boiling. The stress from this shitty past week overflowing in that moment.

"Oh, yeah?" I could feel his breath oh my nose.

"What? Are you doubting me? I would." I jerk up an eyebrow. I've never fought physically with him. But it's not like I can't.

"I'd like to see you try." His eyes flicker to my lips for a brief second and my breath fails, making me cough.

"What? Can't punch me?" He amuses.

"Fuck you."

Suddenly I feel an arm sneak around my waist and in a second I'm chest to chest with Mikey. My eyes widen– his were peaceful as ever, although superior.

"Do it." He says, looking down at me.

The way he's holding me is making my head spin. True, Mikey is cute...

"Do what?"

He laughs at my confused expression. "I don't know... what did you say you'd do to me?"

Ha ha.

His hold on me tightens.

"Do whatever is on your mind." He says.

My eyes roam free between his eyes and his soft pink lips. Do whatever is on your mind.

If he knew what was on my mind, would he still allow me to?

"Do it," he encourages me once again, "aren't you the 'oh so brave' one? Punch me, yell at me, do whatever you want to me."

Those words were the last push I needed. My hands find the soft skin of his neck, hidden by his long hair. I pull him close and lock our lips together. I feel him making a little sound, I don't know if it was surprise or relief.

If by just looking at it his lips seemed soft, actually touching it felt like kissing cotton candy or guessing cloud shapes.

He didn't pull back, in fact, he held me with both hands. I have no clue how he did that but it seemed as though all of my worries dissipated as we kissed.

My heart was beating so fast that it made my chest hurt. My head started to pound when I spent a little too long without air. I pull back from his lips and keep my gaze on them as I breathe heavily.

"Hm." He hums quietly, almost dreamily if you'd ask me.

I look up at his face and smile a bit, noticing how his cheeks are pink. I lift an eyebrow up as if asking what he was thinking. He shakes his head and then puts his right hand on my cheek, caressing it. He kisses me again. This time is slower. As though being present in the moment. As if it were just me and him and nothing else.

----------

I hope you guys liked It! It was so pleasant writing this out of the small bits of ideas that I have. Don't forget: my requests are open. You can request anything! Thank you for reading! Oh, likes and reblogs help a lot! If you consider following it'd make me even happier <3

[citrinekay]

Hiiii I dunno if you're still doing prompts but i've been thinking about a drabble where Bill and Holden are at home and they're both a little tipsy and Holden talks Bill into slow dancing with him, I just need some cute domestic fluff tbh, thanksss

HI Ash! Sorry for the delay in answering this 😫 life has been so busy and stressful these past couple weeks, but I finally got a chance to sit down and write this little thing that’s been bouncing around in my head ever since you sent this message. Hopefully you are still yearning for the domestic fluff, because this is fluffy to the max! Enjoy 💕

When Holden wakes on Saturday morning, the mellow, morning sunlight creeping across the unoccupied side of his bed illuminates the vacancy in a way that makes his chest tighten. If he closes his eyes, he can imagine the dust motes sailing, hitting bare skin, the radiating warmth of body heat, hands winding around his waist to pull him closer. But he’s never liked feeling needy or dependent on anyone - not until recently. 

He tries to set aside the lonely patter of his thoughts, but when he goes into the kitchen to put some breakfast together, his gaze settles nervously on the telephone. 

Last weekend, it was Bill’s turn having Brian. The week before that, Holden was over at Bill’s house, and they were making out on the couch. It seems like a small eternity ago, almost unbearable. He wants to call and invite himself over, but Bill has never been the doting type. He doesn’t appreciate clingy behavior or other people invading his personal space. This thing between them is still too new for that kind of closeness. 

Holden dispels the thought of calling, and turns his attention to making breakfast. Afterward, he busies himself by checking the contents of the refrigerator and deciding he needs to stop at the grocery store. 

On the weekend, the store is fairly busy, and he takes his time shuffling down the crowded aisles and ticking items off his list once they hit the cart. He trolls the familiar shelves by rote, allowing his mind to wander and predict the rest of the day. Maybe he’ll go for a run later or settle in with a book. More than likely, he’ll end up pouring over the case files he brought home with him. Relaxing has never come easy to him, just like the vulnerability of missing someone. 

When Holden gets back to his apartment, juggling two paper sacks of groceries and his keys, the shrill ring of his telephone reaches past the front door. Muttering a curse, he sets down one sack in order to unlock the door, and quickly drags the groceries inside. The telephone continues ringing as he knocks the door shut, stumbles past the grocery sacks into the kitchen, and swipes for the receiver. 

“Hello?”

“Hey.” Bill’s voice reaches from the other end of the line, at ease and fond, shattering Holden’s dour mood in seconds. 

“Bill, hi.” Holden says, a smile pushing unbidden at his cheeks. 

“Did I catch you at a bad time?”

“No, I was just coming back from the store. It’s okay. What’s up?”

“Nothing, I was just thinking about you.”

Holden turns to lean his hips against the kitchen counter, and bites back a growing grin. “Really? That’s funny.”

“Why?”

“Because, I was thinking about you.” Holden says, clutching the phone tighter as nervous butterflies rouse in his belly. 

“Were you, now?”

“Mm-hm.”

“Well, it seems like we’re on the same page then.” Bill says, his tone modest yet holding a note of anticipation.

“About what?”

“You coming over tonight.”

The butterflies explode, not painfully but joyously. Holden purses his lips, but he can’t help the excited grin that stretches across his mouth. 

“That sounds great.” He says, attempting not to betray his over-eagerness. 

“Yeah?” Bill asks, the relief in his voice matching the warmth in Holden’s chest. “I wasn’t sure how you’d feel. I know last week in New Hampshire was hard on you. I figured you’d want to rest-”

“No.” Holden says, quickly. “Not at all. I want to come over.”

“Great. We don’t have to do anything crazy.” Bill says, “Order some take-out, watch a movie …”

“Yeah, that all sounds good. When do you want me to come over?”

“I’ve got some chores around the house to finish up. How does five o’clock sound?”

“Good. Perfect.”

“Okay. See you then.”

After they hang up, Holden stands in the middle of the kitchen with a bewildered smile lingering on his face. His fears about coming off as too needy sink below the surface, leaving behind the warm hum of anticipation in his belly. The realization that Bill wants this - them - just as much as he does rises up slowly right next to the bubbling excitement, but Holden doesn’t try to dwell on the particulars; he has to seize this moment while it lasts. 

~

Holden pulls his car into the driveway of Bill’s house at 4:45. He prefers to be early, but today’s punctuality exists more out of uncurbed enthusiasm rather than timely diligence. He hadn’t been able to stop himself from getting himself ready early and leaving his apartment ahead of schedule. He’s sure Bill won’t mind. 

Getting out of the car, he jogs up the front steps, and raps his knuckles on the front door. He doesn’t have to wait long before he hears Bill’s footfalls approach and the latch click open. 

Holden glances up from his shoes to see Bill holding the door open. He has a kitchen towel over his shoulder, and his cheeks are faintly flushed. Immediately, the mouth-watering scents of cooking dinner wafts from behind his shoulders. 

“Hi.” Bill says, his mouth fending off a smug smile. 

“Hi…” Holden says, slowly, a frown tugging at his brow. 

“Come on in.” 

Bill stands aside as Holden creeps across the threshold, pinning him with a curious gaze. 

“What smells so good?” Holden asks as Bill pulls the door shut behind him. 

Bill’s hand clasps his hip as he leans in to plant a warm kiss on Holden’s cheek. “Dinner.”

“Dinner?” Holden echoes, his brows rising. “You said we were going casual.”

“I know. I wanted to surprise you.”

“I’m practically in pajamas.” Holden protests, haplessly. “I would have dressed up if you told me you were making me dinner and-”

“Hey,” Bill interrupts, his eyes twinkling. “Hush, will you? I’m not worried about what you’re wearing.”

Holden purses his lips, and gently leans into Bill’s chest. Peeking up past his eyelashes and the flush climbing his cheeks, he murmurs, “Right. Sorry. I should be thanking you.”

“You can thank me later.” Bill whispers, planting a fleeting kiss on Holden’s mouth before he turns to go back into the kitchen. 

Holden trails behind him, his disbelief growing as he enters the kitchen to see the table set with the nice china dishware and a glass vase at the center that holds a large bouquet of purple and white flowers. 

“Wow.” Holden says, pausing in the doorway to gather himself. “Bill, this is …”

“A surprise?” Bill asks as he leans down to open the oven. 

“Yes. Very much so.”

Bill pulls the pot out of the oven, and sets it down on the top of the stove. When the lid comes off, the aromatic scent of seasoned pork roast makes Holden’s mouth water. 

“Then I succeeded.” Bill says, casting him a smile. 

Holden shuffles closer to the table, trying to curb his excitement as he bends over to smell the flowers. 

“Are these for me?”

“Yep.” Bill says, sounding casual as he carves into the roast. 

“Well, well. I didn’t know you were such a romantic.”

“I’m not. But I figured you would appreciate it.”

“Why’s that? I don’t consider myself a romantic either.”

Bill casts him a dubious glance over his shoulder. 

“What? I’m not.” Holden protests. 

Bill smirks, and turns his attention back to plating the food. 

Holden sighs, and rubs one of the flower petals between his thumb and forefinger. “Well, I have to admit, they are nice. I hope you didn’t spend too much on them.”

“Didn’t your mother teach you it’s rude to ask how much a gift costs?”

“Yes. She also taught me not to kiss boys so …. We’re in new territory, aren’t we?”

Setting aside his fork and knife, Bill turns to catch Holden by the wrist and reel him in. Both arms wind around his waist, pulling him into a firm embrace. A shiver runs through him, leaving his knees weak and his hands clutching at the front of Bill’s shirt. The thrill of warmth ends in his belly when Bill’s eyes swallow him, then his mouth comes down to turn Holden’s world inside out and upside down. Dizzy, giddy satisfaction crushes through his veins at the first sweet dash of Bill’s mouth against his own, increasing to a dazed hum when the strokes deepen and Bill’s tongue slips against his palate. 

Holden clings to Bill’s chest until the kiss ends with a slick disconnect of lips and panting breath. He opens his eyes slowly, shuddering. 

Bill gazes down at him, a faint smirk resting on the damp corner of his mouth. “I’ve been thinking about doing that all day.” He murmurs. 

Holden flushes hotly, and chokes on a reply. 

Bill chuckles. “I guess your mom didn’t tell you how great kissing boys would be, huh?”

“Not in the slightest.” Holden whispers, offering a strangled laugh. 

“Come on.” Bill says, nudging him toward the table. “Sit down. Dinner’s ready.”

Holden sinks to his chair, grateful for the support now that his legs have been turned to jelly. Part of him had meant to come here tonight feeling in control of emotions and sexually powerful. He’d meant to accept Bill’s invitation, but not act too eager. Ten minutes into the evening and he’s ready to faint like a virgin, longing for another kiss, longing for more - Bill’s hands all over his body, making him forget everything his mother ever taught him. 

After Bill sets the dinner plates in front of them and pours them each a glass of wine, he sits down across from Holden with a pleased sigh. 

“Go ahead.” He urges as Holden toys with his fork. 

“This looks really good.” Holden says, leaning forward to apply his fork and knife to the pork. 

Bill watches eagerly as he takes a bite and the tender, juicy flavor fills his mouth. 

“Mm, wow. It tastes really good, too.” Holden says around the bite. 

“Good.” Bill says, taking up his own fork. “That’s all I wanted to hear.”

They both fall quiet for a few moments as they eat, the quiet clink of silverware on china filtering above the rush in Holden’s ears. He peeks past the bouquet of flowers, feeling his chest swelling and opening the same as the soft petals. It’s difficult to hold onto his stubborn sense of self-sustainability when Bill is treating him this way, making him dinner, giving him flowers, kissing him intimately in a way he knows he’ll never be kissed by anyone else again; but a part of him still clings to his jaded cynicism, the scar tissue on his heart that warns him nothing good lasts forever. 

“Bill …” Holden whispers. 

“Yeah?” Bill mutters, glancing up from his plate with a warm, expectant gaze. 

“Thank you. This is amazing. It feels too good to be true, actually.”

Bill’s mouth tilts with a soft smile. “I know. But it is.”

“In ten years …” Holden says, drawing in a shaky breath. “Are you going to cook me dinner like this?”

Bill’s eyes soften, and his chest rises with a staggered breath. Setting his fork and knife down, he rubs a hand over his mouth. 

“You, um … You think we’re going to be together like this in ten years?” 

“Well, I … I think so.” Holden says, hurriedly. “I mean, I hope so.”

“Yeah.” Bill says, his voice quietly choked. “Me, too.”

Holden lowers his head, pressing his eyes shut against the sudden sting of tears. Bill’s hand creeps across the table to clutch over his knuckles, grounding him into this moment that feels too perfectly constructed for his reality. 

“You okay?” Bill asks, gently. 

Holden nods, swiping briskly at his eyes. “Yes, fine. Good, actually.”

“Okay, good. That’s a relief. I didn’t think I was that rusty in the kitchen.”

Holden chokes on a laugh, and shakes his head. “No, it’s not the food. The food is amazing. You’re amazing, I just-”

He stops as their eyes meet across the table, and he realizes he’s shown too much - more than he ever has with anyone else. In just a few minutes, his walls have crumbled to the ground. 

He clears his throat of the forming knot, and manages a calm expression. 

“It’s just that good things normally don’t last long for me.” He says, “Everything has always felt temporary.”

Bill’s knits with concern and determination. He gives Holden’s hand another squeeze. 

“Well,” He says, “It isn’t this time.”

~

After the dishes are cleared away and the bottle of wine is diminished to a few lingering sips, Bill and Holden relax on the couch with the television playing at low volume and a Sinatra record spinning on the turntable. 

Holden isn’t paying much attention to the sports cast debating the upcoming football draft as he cuddles underneath Bill’s arm, his cheek pressed to Bill’s chest. Bill’s fingertips wander up and down the back of his arm, rousing warm tingles down his spine while the other hand guides a cigarette to and from his lips. 

Tilting his head back, Holden studies Bill’s face in the low light, the familiar edges of his jawline, his bladed cheekbones, his eyes as moody as incoming rain. He knows these planes and slopes well, has memorized each facet through sleepless, lovelorn midnights. He thought he knew everything there was to know about Bill, but tonight surprised him - and his morning concerns that Bill might find him too needy or even annoying suddenly seem ridiculous. 

The record hums static for a moment before the next song starts, the sweet, languid opening notes of “The Way You Look Tonight.”

Hesitation cast aside, Holden sits bolt upright from Bill’s chest, and clutches his arm. 

“I love this song.”

Bill’s attention breaks from the television to pin Holden with a bemused smile. “Yeah. It’s a good one.”

“It’s one of my mom’s favorite songs.” Holden says, climbing to his feet. “We used to slow dance to it in the kitchen.”

“There you go with your mom again.”

“She has good music taste. Obviously.” Holden says, tugging on Bill’s hand. “Come on.”

“Come where?” 

“Come on. Dance with me.” Holden says, offering his most imploringly coy gaze. 

“Oh, no.” Bill says, shaking his head. “I think I’ve fulfilled enough romantic duties for tonight.”

“Duties? You seemed pretty pleased with yourself.”

“Yeah, well. You said you weren’t a romantic either.” 

“Maybe I lied a little.” Holden says, giving Bill’s hand another firm tug. “Please?”

Bill gives a labored sigh, but quickly sets aside his cigarette and climbs to his feet. 

“Here.” Holden says, guiding Bill’s left hand to his hip and catching the right hand in his own grasp. “I’ll lead.”

“Holden, I know how to dance.” Bill says, flipping their hands over so that his is on top.

“Do you?” 

“Yeah, it’s just been awhile.” 

Holden purses his mouth shut as Bill’s palm flattens against his lower back, drawing him so close that their mouths nearly collide. A chuckle rises up in his belly, the last of his misgivings melting away beneath the duress of Bill’s embrace and half a bottle of a wine simmering in his veins. It feels too good to resist now that he’s wrapped up in Bill’s arms, their bodies swaying against one another while Sinatra croons a saccharine, lovesick melody. 

They’re quiet through the first verse as they rock back and forth, turning in a slow circle in the middle of the living room carpet. Holden wraps his arm tighter around Bill’s shoulders, and lowers his head to the warm cradle of Bill’s neck. 

“I have a confession.” He whispers as the song swells into the chorus. 

“Hmm?”  

“I thought about calling you this morning before you called me.” Holden whispers, lifting his head from Bill’s neck to cast him a sheepish smile. “But I didn’t want to seem clingy.”

“Clingy?” Bill echoes. “Why would you seem clingy?”

“Well, we see each other every day at work, and we were just together all weekend the other week. I just thought-”

“That I didn’t miss you?” 

Holden pauses, his throat knotting again. “Well, um … yes.”

“I missed you a lot when you were in New Hampshire.” Bill says, leaning in to kiss Holden’s lower lip softly. “I do every time we have to go out of town for work.”

Holden leans into the kiss, but Bill’s mouth only strokes softly for a few moments before he pulls back, his forehead nudging against Holden’s. 

“Can I be completely honest with you right now?”

“Yes, of course.” 

“Good.” Bill says, his hand squeezing against Holden’s lower back. “Because I don’t want to waste anymore time. I’ve wasted years, you know. Years I can’t get back.”

Holden frowns, feeling his chest begin to quiver. “Years?”

“Yes. Years without this - without you.” Bill says, glancing away with a coarse scoff as the words choke in his throat. “Fuck. Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Holden murmurs, leaning closer. 

They’ve stopped dancing, but their hands are still clasped in mid-air. Holden doesn’t feel like letting go of Bill’s hand. 

“I don’t know.” Bill says, “I guess I thought this would be easier if I persuaded you with dinner and flowers and wine.”

“Persuaded me?” Holden echoes. 

“Yeah.” Bill says, shifting a misty gaze back to Holden. He draws in a slow breath. “But you’re going to make me say out loud, aren’t you?”

Holden swallows hard. There’s a buzzing in his ears that doesn’t quite feel like panic. His belly is surging, flipping. They’re rushing towards a precipice that they can’t turn back from. He’s carving out pieces of himself and handing them over.  Willingly. They both are. 

“Look,” Bill says, lowering his head again, “I know it’s hard for both of us to say how we feel, but I can’t keep pretending that this is some kind of phase or fling or- … It means more than that to me, and you were talking about ten years from now so I know you do too.”

Holden adjusts his grasp on Bill’s hand. Both of them are sweaty with nerves, but he doesn’t want to let go. 

Bill lifts his head. His eyes are clear, resolute. There’s a pause, not the quiet before a destructive storm but the anticipation before a deliverance of rain. 

“I love you.” Bill says, quietly. 

Holden draws in a hitched breath, and tears instantly sting his eyes. Overwhelmed, he buries his face in Bill’s neck, and wraps both arms around his shoulders. Sinatra’s serenade swells below the surge of his heartbeat, the broken, lonely pieces of himself coming back together again. 

Bill holds him close until he can breathe again, until he can look up and look into Bill’s eyes without crumbling entirely. 

“I love you, too.” Holden chokes out, a tear streaking down his cheek in the same moment that he begins to laugh for joy. 

“You do?” Bill asks, a hopeful smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. 

“Yes.” Holden nods, pressing a series of affirming kisses to Bill’s mouth, mumbling the response again and again into the narrow space between their mouths. 

Bill’s hand strokes away the last of his tears before it takes up Holden’s hand into the dancing position again. As they begin to sway once more, Holden nestles his cheek against Bill’s shoulder. His mind goes quiet, not for the first time, but for the first time in a very long time, in so long that he’d almost forgotten what this kind of contentment feels like. Relief rushes through him, a nebulous epiphany of bliss. In this moment, he can see every second of the future, the two of them together just like this.  Nothing lasts forever, but some things are infinite.

[btsrmono]

Trial & Error | chapter 1.

A/N: hey guys ik this is really random for my page but i got bored lol pls enjoy?? 

Main Pairing: (jimin): student/idol x (main): foreign student

Side Pairs: main x taehyung,, main x (nct) jaehyun 

CHAPTER 1

"I still can't believe you're moving."

 You sighed, leaning your head on your boyfriend's shoulder. "Don't remind me."

 It had been a month since your parents had told you about the big move and school would be starting the next week, which is when you'd be moving.

  Ryan lied his hand on your thigh as he squeezed it a bit. "I was thinking, you know," he started, "since you're moving and all... y/n, don't you think it'd be better if we--"

  You already knew where this was going. "Break up?" you finished for him. He didn't say anything, causing you to chuckle a bit. "It's alright," you told him. "I've been thinking the same thing."

 "You have?"

  You took your head off of his shoulder, looking him in the eyes. "Yeah. I mean, it only makes sense, right? What would be the purpose of staying together?" You gave him a small smile of which he returned. You and Ryan had only been together for 5 months, not really making it a big deal.

"You know I care about you, right?"

"Yes," you confirmed. "Same goes here. Just because we're 'ending this', doesn't mean we're ending us. I'll still keep in contact with you and check up here and there."

 Smiling at you, he stuck his pinky finger out. "Promise?"

 You quickly interlocked your pinky with his. "Promise."

                                                              ~~

  Turns out, saying your goodbyes to your friends wasn't the hard part. You already knew this was going to be a problem but you had been in Korea for over two hours and still had yet to find someone that spoke English. You guys began to settle in your apartment with the help of moving guys, and you had decided that you wanted to take a look around, maybe buy a snack.

  Little to no avail, you couldn't find many American snacks like you were expecting to, and when you did, they surely didn't taste the same. Anyway, you was trying to make your way back to your new home when you realized you didn't know where you were going. Google Maps was acting up, and you were too afraid to attempt the Korean you actually did know with local natives. Therefore, you tried to ask, using as much broken English as you could to make it simple on them. However, they weren't very helpful but at least they all seemed nice. You thought maybe if you made one more attempt, you could have hit the jackpot. "Uh, excuse me sir."

The older man stopped in his tracks and stared at you. "Uh... Yes?" He asked, sounding quite nervous.

Right then and there, just from his tone, you knew he wasn't going to be much useful. You politely smiled. "Never mind." You bowed and he went on with his day. Ugh, why were you so scared to speak Korean. You were actually pretty good at it at some point due to your childhood best friend, Shi Ah. Practically her sister, you two were around each other all the time and you easily picked up the language. It was fun because you guys would always say things about people with them right there without them knowing what you two were speaking about.

 But, unfortunately, Shi Ah had to move to China Freshman year due to a job opportunity for her journalist parents. The goodbye was extremely hard but you both eventually moved on, you becoming best friends with Mariana and Riley, her doing God knows what. You even fell out of touch so you had no idea what she’d been up to the past few years. It was sad but it quickly became your new normal.

 Anyway, you knew, eventually you were going to have to get over your fear of speaking Korean but until then, you sighed and took in the scenery surrounding you to see if anything looked familiar, but nope. You stood there, deciding that maybe it was time to call a parent. As you went to dial your moms number, you suddenly become very distracted.

"Lost?" you heard a voice say.

You looked up from your phone to the girl that now stood in front of you. "You speak English?" you stupidly asked. The girl laughed. "I'm sorry," you apologized, realizing how rude you probably sounded.

"Don't be, it's understandable. What can I help you with though?" The girl was really pretty. She had perfect skin with long blonde hair and bangs that made her wide eyes stand out.

You let out a breath, looking down at your phone. "I need help getting back home."

She giggled. "Already? Come on." She then proceed to walk ahead of you as you, confusingly, followed.

"But wait, you haven't even asked where I live."

"Its alright, we're in the same neighborhood. I saw you earlier," she explained. It then made sense. However, you had not seen her. The girl was gorgeous, you must admit, so you would have remembered seeing her.

"So we're neighbors," you stated.

"Yup."

"What's your name?"

Still walking, she looked back at you and smiled. "Jinsoul. But my English speaking friends call me Zoè. Say which ever you'd like."

You nodded, repeating her name in your head a few times. A habit you picked up in order to remember people’s names. 

"And you?" she asked.

"Y/n."

"That’s pretty," she complemented you. “It’ll be hard to forget.”

Only a short block later, you guys were back into the neighborhood. "Thank you so much," you said as you began to reach your doorstep. "I owe you." 

 After exchanging numbers, she informed you that she only lived a corner away from you and that if you ever needed anything, you could just ask.

______

 The next day, you were starting school. You walked around the corner and saw your mom in the kitchen cooking breakfast. You knew that your Dad didn't leave the house until 9 am. "Morning, Mom," you greeted her.

She turned away from the pancakes she was in the middle of making and smiled at you. "Y/n! Morning baby, are you excited for school?"

 You shrugged your shoulders while smirking as you placed your back pack on the kitchen island table. "I guess. I don't really know what to expect though."

"Well if there's any advice I can give you, it's : Don't stress. Seriously, it'll make everything go wrong."

Instead of a reply, you sighed, still feeling sleepy. "Why are you up so early?" you asked her.

She then proceeded back to making the pancakes. "For you."

"Oh no, you didn't need to do that, Mom. I'm about to leave out."

She looked at you with a confused expression on her face. "Well then what are you going to eat?"

"There's a store around the block, I was just gonna grab a quick snack and head to the school early."

"Early?" she wondered.

You shook your head. "Yup. Want to get my schedule 100 percent accurate and get a mini tour of the building before it gets too crowded." Your mom kind of smirked, looking at you from the side of her eyes. You giggled. "What?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Nothing, it's just nice seeing you be responsible and positive on the first day. I know you didn't exactly picture your senior year to go this way but I just want you to make the best of it and I think you're off to a good start so far, sweetie."

You smiled. She was right, you guess. You did feel very out of place but not in a bad way exactly. You'd rather be home but you weren’t. You were in Seoul, South Korea and what would you be able to do about it? Nothing. So why not do what you can and make it a good experience rather than a negative?

She then turned the stove off and fully looked at you. "Get going. Have a nice day of school!"

As soon as you left the apartment building, you saw the girl from the day before walking in your direction. She beamed widely at your appearance. "Y/n!" she yelled.

You gave her a gentle smile, waiting for her to catch up with you. Once she did, you both continued walking together. "You look nice for your first day."

"Thanks, you look nice too!"

You started to think that she was also going to the store. So you both walked in silence for a little bit until you arrived there. The bell dinged on the door as she opened it. The older cashier man looked at you strangely. She noticed this. "Don't mind him," she said. "He does this to everyone."

You shook your head understandingly. "Okay."

She went over to the fridge section and grabbed banana milk, as did you, then a pack of peanuts and you went up to pay for your stuff while she was still looking. Once she was done, you two stepped back out into the hot heat. Only a few moments later, a group of three good looking guys showed up, talking amongst themselves as they headed to school as well in their uniforms. This made you believe you were getting closer to the bus stop.

On the side of you, you heard Jinsoul let out a slight laugh, making you turn to her. She was looking at the boys. Next thing you knew, they were looking back at her and walking over towards you guys. "A-are they coming over here?" you stuttered.

"Looks like it," she replied cooley, a small smirk glued to her face.

You quickly gave your hair a little fix as you both suddenly stopped walking, waiting for the boys to join.

"Yah, Jinsoul!", one of them said. He continued to speak in Korean as you zoned out, worried about if they would try to speak to you too. Sooner or later, you heard your name being said by Jinsoul and the boys all kind of glanced your way, throwing you off track. 

They eventually turned their attention back to Jinsoul, continuing their conversation. All except the one boy, whom was the most adorable of them all. He blankly stared at you, his eyes even squinting a bit.

You shifted one foot to the other as you looked down at the pavement, slightly uncomfortable with this. You then heard him laugh and when you looked back up, he was smiling at you. You nervously smiled back before he finally went back to paying attention to Jinsoul. They spoke in some more Korean.

After a good minute or two passed, you heard them saying goodbye, the cutest one being the only one to wave at you. Once they were out of ear shot, you turned to Jinsoul. "Uh, Jinsoul?"

"Hm?" she wondered, nonchalantly.

"Who were they?"

She laughed loudly before covering her mouth quickly. "Really?" she asked. "You really don't know who they are?"

Of course you didn't know who they were, why was she expecting you to? You tilted your head slightly. "I mean, I'm not from here," you explained.

"True." She began to walk again, you following. "They're all idols."

"Idols?" you wondered. "As in?"

"As in 'famous', y/n."

 You slightly hesitated, letting this new profound information soak into your brain. "Famous as in?"

"They sing. Dance. Rap. They're idols. K-pop idols."

You knew of K-pop, you looked it up upon arriving to Seoul but were no expert at it and of course the only people you ever even slightly heard of were Psy, Exo and Got7. Other than that, you were completely ignorant to the Korean pop industry. "Are they all in the same group?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Two of them are. The other one, aka, my friend, is still a trainee, which means he hasn't debuted yet but he's training to."

"Interesting." You walked a few more seconds in silence until you absolutely had to ask their names. Specifically for the one guy.

She deviously smiled, already knowing what was up your sleeve. "I see what you're doing," she stated. "But if you insist. My friend's name is Bae Joon Young. We call him Jacob. The other one is Kim Taehyung and the one that you seem interested in is Park Jimin."

"Jimin," you repeated. "But wait. If they're all famous, why were they in uniform to go to school?"

"Because they have to," she told you. "They all made an agreement that if they ever dropped out of school, they are eligible to be dropped from their company. Plus Taehyung and Jimin just debuted so they have to listen to their company right now. It's a pretty logical idea if I do say so myself."

You guys finally arrived at the bus stop and she explained to you what you would do after being released at the first stop. You both went to different schools. While you went to a Foreign school, she attended a performing arts school with a ton of other inspiring and/or famous people.

Of course you saw the boys again at the bus stop but they did not bother you guys this time, instead, they met up with their other friends that were also at the bus stop. The bus eventually pulled up around 7:30am and everyone got on board. Since both schools were basically right across from each other, all students got off at the same spot too. The only difference is that you and about two other students had to walk an extra block before actually getting to the International school. Once you finally arrived there, you took a deep breath and headed inside.

A/N: Bruh, I’m sorry this chapter was so BORING but it was the 1st. It should get a lil more interesting moving forward since we got most introductions out of the way. More Jimin to come next chapter! 

ALSO: I’ll be putting a gif of a main character each chapter at the end! For this chapter, we have Jinsoul, the friendly neighbor and school bus buddy! 

STAY TUNED

PART 2

[punkscowardschampions]

Jude & Jac

Jude: [post rave] Jude: you can stop your 1 woman campaign now, freshers looks fun, I admit it Jac: That's why they give out free shit and throw these things Jac: convince people like you, good to know you've fallen for it 🎣😏 Jude: I'm convinced enough to crash Trinity's 😜✌ Jude: here on out Jac: good luck, jailbait Jac: the two years you've got left in school show 👶 Jac: you can't even grow unconvincing facial hair like the boys in my year Jude: nah they don't, why ma & da get so stressed every time I leave the house 💋👗👠 Jac: Predators enjoying the fact you think so is another issue entirely Jude: 🙄😏 Jude: can never just have a nice chat with you Jac: What do you need to chat about? Jude: what do YOU need to chat about? Jac: That was an...attempt, I'll give you that Jude: alright, here's the nudge, her name starts with S & last time she was ranked she was at like a 4 Jude: but I'm willing to bump her up in light of recent events Jac: You've reconnected and + 1 up, have you? Jac: That's nice Jude: taking a decent 📷 is good for a few points Jude: probs should lose 'em again when it's dad 👍 but whatever Jac: Very generous Jac: do appreciate you keeping your 👍 to yourself Jac: what do you wanna ask then? Jude: ikr I'm in a generous mood Jude: I'm not forcing you into a q & a Jude: I just think it's good you're mates again Jude: be a bit weird having her there & not Jude: some girl isn't gonna be there 📷 to turn her into a headless 👻 whenever shit gets awkward Jac: That your professional opinion, captain obvious? Jac: well, cheers for your blessing, like Jude: I could tell you were waiting for it so Jac: Clearly Jac: the little you think about has always been my GREATEST concern 😏 Jac: and she'll be up and over the 🌙 at her new score, of course Jude: all I REALLY wanna know is if she has a 🌾🐄 accent now, like? be honest Jude: it's still silver 🥄 yeah? Jac: Err, come on, it was NEVER Southside Jac: and even if it was, that'd count for NOTHING here Jac: so posh some of 'em it's a speech impediment Jude: so you're saying she don't fit right in with the 👸🤴 & qualifies as a bit of rough instead Jude: gutted for her Jude: her ma'd be even more 💔 wonder how she is Jac: That isn't funny, Jude Jude: not about her mum, that was well sad Jude: posh boys not thinking Sav is, is a bit though Jac: Have you ever tried engaging your brain before you speak Jac: not being completely insensitive should not be this hard for you Jude: ?? Jac: Don't ?? at me Jac: you say it's 'well sad' but you're the one that cracked a joke in the first place Jude: I didn't Jude: not about that Jac: I'm not pulling it from nowhere, it's still on my screen Jac: I don't think you realize how badly you come across half the time Jude: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come across like a massive dickhead Jude: I think Sav's alright, I'm not trying to take the piss out of her Jac: Well it's alright this time 'cos you only said it in front of me Jude: be going a bit far to check in with her Jude: not weird at all Jac: you're saying I SHOULD put it past you? Jac: you are weird Jude: I'm saying I'm not about to say it front of her as I don't talk to her, am I Jac: doesn't mean getting into the habit of saying every 'hilarious' thought that enters your head out loud is a plan Jude: yeah alright Jude: fair enough Jac: Anyway, Sav isn't interested in any boys that look like they came from 🐴s not 🐒s Jude: 🤣 Jude: you wanna be careful saying 👦🏽👦🏾👦🏿 look like 🐒 but I get you Jac: She hasn't got a boyfriend of any colour so I weren't saying that Jude: I didn't reckon so, not unless she got a lad to follow her to uni Jude: but who wants that? Jac: Her ex was holding her back hardcore but he's given that up, thankfully Jude: he sounds like a right laugh & not at all like a prick Jac: That's boys for you Jude: 😜 Jude: when do they grow up? 40s or what? Jac: Have you met our father? Jac: never Jude: oh great Jac: 🤷 Jude: it's alright for you, you can get all the 🤓 lads when you're done studying or whatever Jude: least they'll be smart Jac: smart boys are worse Jac: they want to explain everything to you Jude: really? Jude: fuck that then Jac: dumb but kind are the lofty heights you can shoot for Jude: like a 🐶 Jac: yep Jac: loyalty too, forgo the collar Jude: yeah you're right that is lofty heights Jude: maybe when I'm 40, I can find a lad that don't need one Jude: stop him going over the road & 💔 me Jac: shitting where you eat is gross but convenient, that's boys Jude: 👍 Jude: Jess is so lucky he can pick a lad or a girl Jac: Most people are undesirable Jac: gay lads will only touch him if they think he's straight and that's their type Jac: and girls are a whole different beast altogether Jude: that'll be why he's so 😒 Jac: as a rule or more than usual right now? Jude: we all know why he's 😒 right now Jude: you pissed off somewhere more fun without him Jac: I think he's just fine Jac: and he did it first, every weekend, like Jude: speaking of, his latest gig was not the one Jude: so he's probably 😒 about that Jac: like, he was shit, the crowd weren't the right one or the equipment weren't? Jude: he needs a better 🎸 but that ain't news Jude: seemed like he didn't wanna be there to me Jac: Hm, a fight with one of his girlfriend or boyfriends then Jac: meant to make him better so he's fucked up there Jude: relatable Jac: 🙄 Jac: alright Jude: don't be 🙄 @ me Jude: your dating history ain't spotless Jac: I've never dated anyone so it is Jac: 📑 definition Jude: your hook up history then, you know what I mean cos me either Jac: I don't fall in love with them like an idiot, it's entirely different Jude: I fell in love with the one, who I was dating for a bit Jude: I'm not going about falling for 'em all Jac: Still did, didn't you Jac: I can't even remember any of mine Jac: nothing came into play but proximity and timing Jude: 🏆🥇 if you want Jac: take it over your 💔 obviously Jude: yeah Jac: 🙄 I repeat Jude: whatever Jude: I was stupid, it was ages ago Jac: you brought it up Jude: it was my mistake, I can Jac: not a sounding board for your whining Jude: alright, my bad Jac: used to you Jude: you've got your own room now, get over it, like Jac: unfortunuately, that doesn't stop us sharing a family so I don't think I will, thanks Jac: unfortunuately, that doesn't stop us sharing a family so I don't think I will, thanks Jude: it's a part time one for you now, don't have to see this face til 🎄🎅☃️🎁 Jac: Unfortunately, can stay over Spring though, but there's no catering in the Xmas hol 💔 Jude: 👎 - 1 point to St Andy's Jude: is Sav going to her mum or dad for the hols? Jac: better than home, get all my meals and room cleaned for me every week so Jac: literally only just got here, who's thinking about leaving Jac: some other halls you can stay, so maybe she'll find someone there, so she only has to do actual Xmas day or whatever Jude: me now, maybe I should bother going to uni if they're gonna clean for me Jac: only if you get into a good one Jac: and pay extra, hence most people are self-cater, but what else do I need my grant, loan and scholarship for, may as well Jude: 🤔 I hear you, that's unlikely Jac: you have time Jac: two years can change everything Jude: not my 🧠 it can't Jude: my concentration ain't there unless I'm doing 🎨 Jac: you could try harder, and you know it Jude: at what? Jac: concentrating on enough subjects to get you into a decent Uni Jac: you don't need every one, just enough to boost your points Jude: sounds easy that 😤😏 Jude: if I'm only in it for the 🧹🧺 🧼🧽 & I ain't 🤓 enough for one of 'em, ain't much point Jac: It's not about being nerdy or naturally intelligent, it's about being smart with the system Jude: yeah but it's probably also about going cos you wanna learn stuff & be there not just cos you wanna leave home for a bit Jac: most people never use their degrees, so you tell me Jude: that's true Jude: what subjects then? Jac: Depends what you want to do, Art in some form, assumedly? Jac: Fuck Irish and Spanish and PE, duh, knuckle down with your rest to up your points as much as you can then absolutely ace Art Jude: Alright, I'm decent at PE anyway Jude: that'll be easy points Jac: Exactly, no need to purposely fuck them up, but focus harder on the rest, especially the ones you are less decent at without trying Jude: please tell me you've left your notes here Jac: Of course Jac: under my bed, if you haven't lit it on 🔥 Jude: it's only been a week, gimme chance Jac: well, don't reckon they'll let you get a double yet Jac: I still need a place to crash in the holidays and it certainly won't be beside you snoring your head off Jude: might do if I steer clear of lads for a bit Jude: not that I've done half as much with 'em as everyone reckons I have Jac: People find shit to chat regardless, not worth paying no mind to, no more mind to stupid lads either Jude: I don't care if people don't reckon I'm a virgin still even though I am Jude: it's not like it matters Jac: Yeah, those people will all be irrelevant before you know it Jude: loads of people are well jealous of your uni btw Jude: reckoned you'd wanna hear that Jac: Of course Jac: x2 Jude: 😏 Jac: It's more of a flex than Trinity even, and only a handful of people got in there Jude: when did you work out what you wanted? it feels like you've been going on about it forever Jude: but like actually Jac: 🤔 Jac: I can't remember a point where it wasn't my plan, honestly Jac: more abstract when I was little and didn't have the titles and disciplines to put to it but Jac: I always liked murder mysteries and shit, what makes us tick Jude: right Jude: you love a true crime podcast Jac: 😏 Jac: but I'd rather deal with the living murderers than the corpses of their victims so Jude: well yeah Jude: 🦴🦷 bit gross Jac: 🧠 are much better Jude: long as you're not cutting into it Jac: I won't be Jac: if I'd combined biology, and gone that route Jude: I won't be either, tah Jude: science is proper hard Jac: Psychology has a shit load of it involved anyway, but I can blag it Jude: you're SO excited, I can tell Jude: 🤓💕 Jac: Of course I am Jac: it's everything I've ever wanted Jude: it's weird you're so far away though, it don't feel like you are Jac: Glad my prescence and now abscence had/have such a huge impact on you Jac: we both know why though so Jude: yeah Jac: it's different now Jude: good Jac: alright then Jude: give my love to Savannah, I know she'll have missed me Jude: that's the impact I have Jac: 👌👌 Jude: 😝 Jac: Do you really have a problem with Savannah? Jude: course not, I told you I think she's alright, it's just bants Jude: why does she have a problem with me? Jac: yeah, it's a massive grudge she took all the way to Sligo and back Jac: 🙄 Jude: you know what I mean Jude: has she said that I come across as a massive dickhead too or something? Jude: I don't wanna upset her, like Jac: you haven't come up a load in conversation, like Jac: oddly enough Jac: it's that Jac: she's like my girlfriend alright so you can't be a dick about her anymore, alright Jude: alright then Jac: is that all you're gonna say Jude: I won't take the piss out of her no more, like I said, I didn't mean it anyways Jac: you can react, you know Jac: it's big news on multiple counts Jude: it makes sense Jude: I get it now, why you were like that after she left Jac: Good Jac: I want you to know that Jac: don't change how it was, but still Jude: you could've just told me you rated her 10/10 Jude: is that why she left? like her family always seemed a bit off but I didn't think they were that bad Jac: I couldn't, though Jac: no, her mum wasn't coping Jac: as we all know now, and then the Isabelle stuff went down, so their dad stepped in Jude: yeah, but I mean, that's not part of why she slit her wrists, is it? Cos Sav doesn't need that to carry Jac: it was because the dad left and then took them, to put it as bluntly and without nuance as possible Jac: but that's all on him, not the girls, her mum isn't like blaming them, their relationship is getting better Jude: at least she was alright with you too dating then, nobody needs that dark ages mentality shit Jude: she's got enough going on Jac: well, she doesn't know about that yet Jude: but you were together back then, yeah? Jac: no, it's a new development Jac: as in, like, the other night new, no one really knows, I barely do Jac: things were complicated before Jude: oh okay, soz for backtracking so hard, I just thought Jac: yeah, that was the problem Jac: shit was assumed or it wasn't Jude: what a headfuck Jude: you're okay now though, right? Like the other night went alright Jac: I guess for context, before she left, I did kiss her and it went horribly Jac: I loved her then but she didn't and then she was gone Jac: I see how it sounded like pining there but no Jac: it's good now though, things have changed, we both have Jude: I knew something happened that night when you came back early, you were like a 👻 or like you'd seen one Jac: Yeah, that was what it was Jude: it won't happen again if things are different so Jac: not as bad Jude: I'm glad Jude: that this is the ending you get, cos it's not one, it's more like a beginning or whatever Jude: you don't have to be just excited for uni Jac: I know Jac: not that there's anything wrong with just being excited for Uni, tah very much Jac: whatever happens, I think we'll be able to stay friends this time so Jude: or you'll just marry her & have all the kids she obviously wants Jac: let's not get carried away, shall we Jude: 1. you never said I couldn't have bants with you still Jude: 2. there's nowt I don't know about her life plan, she talks LOADS Jac: You only have a problem with that because you want to be the one talking Jude: course I do Jac: it cannot be overstated how much I'd rather listen to her, is the point ❤ Jude: it'd be a bit rude if you were already like nah tah 🤐 it, babe Jude: probably don't do that Jac: That's your top tip and people really think you're not a virgin? Jac: Interesting Jude: it don't work out well for the lads who TRY it with me 😏 Jude: people reckon I'm not cos I'm that 🥇 yeah Jude: & cos lads have loads to say for themselves, most of which is bollocks Jude: but you're not a sounding board for my whinging, I remember Jac: 'Bants', dear sister, 'bants' Jude: 👍 Jac: anyway, I've got to go Jac: there's this variety show that is apparently hilarious, either actually or in how bad it is so Jude: & I've got loads of 📝📚📖📏📐to do if I'm gonna have my own freshers Jude: top quality entertainment like that, literally how could I not? Jac: sure you'll want to be in it yourself 😏 Jude: you're correct Jude: 👋 then

[estrxlar]

The Ghost Of You

06 - Too Little Too Late

Chapters songs:

Yam Yam: No Vacation

Numb: Men I Trust

4EVER: Clairo

—

Sugawara

Hey, I won't be riding the bus this morning. My father is visiting and I have to spend the morning with him I'm guessing. I might be available after school, though. So if you wanna walk

Yeah, I'll let you know. I hope everything with your dad goes okay.

Okay. See you later then.

Yeah, you too.

—

One last message from Sugawara is received, before I close the messaging app, and turn off my phone. I wasn't quite ready for what was to occur this morning: seeing my dad. You would think I would be happy about it, or at least be a little excited. But really, I couldn't be more stressed. All my father has ever done is criticize my talents, my behavior, and almost everything that has to do with me being me. Every time he comes to Japan, which isn't a lot, it's the same lecture all over again about what I'm doing with my life, and where I'll be when I'm older.

But at least two or three more hours of sleep. Might as well take advantage of missing a day, right?

—

    As I stretch out my arms under my sheets, a knock on my door is heard, followed by my mom's soft voice. "Y/n, your father is getting you today. I'm off to work, okay? Make sure to feed Astra." Her tone is low and worry full, but I wouldn't blame her. Surely your ex-husband coming back shouldn't be so easy.

   "I know, mom. Thanks. You have a good day," I say back to her, hearing her footsteps slowly disappear. That's my queue to begin getting ready. What I wear consists of something simple: a thin white shirt, a sage green sweatshirt on top, and jeans with white sneakers, which is something safe. I wouldn't want him to begin criticizing me by starting with my outfit. And as for my hair, I wore it the way I always did.

After a few moments of getting ready, I stand up in the mirror, making sure my personality wasn't showing on the outside. I hated that this is how I had to think of myself when around my parents, but there wasn't anything I could do about it. As suspected, a few minutes later, a message from him appears informing me he had gotten here.

—

Dad

Hey! I'm outside, come quickly so we can grab something at that small cafe you love.

Okay, I'll be out there in a second.

—

Nothing baffled me as much as him being so normal about this situation did, but there wasn't much I could say to him. I could only imagine how many questions he would ask me, or if he would even care about the important things, like if I was going through anything.

Reaching for a basic shoulder bag, I say my farewell to the cat, and make my way downstairs. Once I reach the front door, I take a deep breath and open it to reveal the usual view, except an expensive car stood in the driveway, with a smiling man inside of it. I smile back, easing that he didn't look pissed as fuck. After that, I locked the front door and walked towards his car.

Hesitantly, I pull the handle and step into the front passenger seat. "Hey, Dad." I greet him, meanwhile closing the door. "How've you been?"

"Hm, I've been just fine. What about you?" He begins to pull out of the driveway, and soon enough, we're on the road. "There's much to talk about."

I nod, as he states the obvious. "Yeah, of course."

This is awkward.

My hands begin to fidget, popping and stretching my fingers while he drove on the road, saying absolutely nothing. That was until I asked something to fill the empty space between us. "How's work been? I heard you got a bunch of promotions."

"It's been like always; normal. But yes, I have gotten promotions. I guess I've exceeded the limit, though. So.. what about you? You're still on your whole band-thingy?" He clears his throat, turning into another street: the same Suga and I would walk. "Your aunt says she's excited to work with you."

My aunt, AU/N, was my blueprint. She was my father's little sister, and she had a hell of a lot of money. One time when she was younger she slipped in dog pee at Walmart and sued them 50,000$. Since she was a musician, and far more successful than my band, she decided to start her label, signing many small bands like mine. And so, since I had a connection, my friends and I decided to sign with her during the summer after we graduate. We'd have to move to New York in America, but that was just fine. Because moving meant we could establish a good career and attend college as well.

   "I'm excited too. You know, to move and all." My eyes take mental images of the portrait outside today. Trees were finally growing leaves again, and grass as well; spring was around the corner. "Why the sudden visit? Is there a conference being held in Miyagi?"

My question seems like have made him uneasy, for his fingers began making small beats on the steering wheel. In no way did I mean to be so sudden, but an answer to my asking was necessary.

Thankfully, his response isn't a shout and rude remark, but a simple explanation that frankly made me feel better about his stay. "I'm most likely not gonna be able to see you before you graduate, so I wanted to spend a day with you. I know I said I'd drop you off at school after breakfast, but I thought we could hang out longer.

Is that okay?"

"Yeah, it's fine."

—

To my surprise, the drive wasn't as short as I thought. A total of thirty silent minutes felt as if it was an entire hour. Once we arrived at the small cafe in the plaza, the both of us got off the car and glanced at each other, beginning our way towards it.

    I had a certain idea of why he'd picked this spot for us to eat at. When I was younger, I'd spent lots of time here doing whatever I was up to, and usually with one of my close friends, (not that we're close anymore.) To be completely frank, it came to me as a shock my father even paid attention to how much I adored this place. The light lavender concrete walls and cutesy pots with succulents and house plants. Not to mention its colorful m decorations, far more improved than when I was a little kid. Still, it drew Moku, Oikawa, Iwaizumi, and Toruku to make it our number one hang-out spot from the ages of 8-14, even if it wasn't as attracting as it is now.

As we enter, the small bell at the top of the door rings, and we're greeted by a young girl at the counter that surrounded many baked goods. "Welcome!" She says, meanwhile packing up an online order. "Is there anything I could help you guys with?"

"Two coffees, please." My father replied, holding up two of his long, worn-out fingers. 'Coffee? I mean, I guess. Not that I cared or anything. I honestly preferred the tea with the little peaches in it— what was it called?' My father's voice cuts off my thoughts. "And a fruit lemonade for her. The coffees are for me; long hours!"

   'That's it!' I said to myself internally, briefly smiling at the worker while she wrote a few words down. And soon enough, we're told it'll take only a few minutes. Still, it baffled me my father even remembered such a little thing I loved when I was a child.

   What a try-hard.

   The two of us find a corner table for two, and he pulls out a chair for me to place myself. I do so, as my father does the same. Then, a long-awaited conversation begins. "How did you know I liked this place?"

   He straightens his collar, saying, "You never stopped talking about it when you were little."

  "And the drink?"

  "I just remember how many times it appeared on my taxes from this place, that's all." He chuckles, leaning onto his arm along with stroking his sharp beard. "Why do you ask?"

  Without thinking, I answer sharply, looking down at the wooden patterns on the table. "Why do you think? I didn't think you'd paid attention," I say to him, quickly looking up for a rude remark.

   He effortlessly sighs and keeps the situation unproblematic. Although, I wouldn't have minded diving deeper into the reasoning of his absence. "I did sometimes. Sorry."

  I tell myself to leave it at that, to leave it at 'sorry', but I can't. I can't not say something. "Can I ask you something? And I want a valid answer, not excuses. I know you wanted to have a nice time but this is the most I've talked to you in the past year so I'd rather get straight to it than poke around the elephant in the room."

  In the corner of my eye, I see him nod, giving me an okay that I could rant. Well, more like calmly let out my feelings. "I just— I don't understand what happened. After you and mom got busy, it was a total blur. I'm not asking for you two to get together again, and I never questioned why you split up either. I'm simply asking why you guys forgot you had a daughter, that's all."

    Not more than a split second later do I realize how rude that sounded. But too bad, I wanted to know. A few silent seconds slide by while he seems to be thinking of an answer, and explanation. Then, the sound of footsteps coming towards us, signaling our beverages had arrived.

  "Two coffees," the young lady mumbles, setting them in front of my father as he smiles. "And a fruit lemonade!" She exclaims. The pink-tinted drink makes waves in cold glass in her hand once it's set down. "All set. Is there anything else I can get for you two?"

   We shake our heads lightly.

   "Alright then! Enjoy!" She beams, then happily walks away. Ever since I was younger, I never understood why the store wonder daughter was so nice. But I'm guessing it lasted throughout the years, or else she wouldn't treat customers so gently.

Father slowly lifts the drink to his lips, and enjoys his cinnamon roast, while I feel my back aching from the perfect posture I perform around him. "Ah, carry on, Y/n. What is it that makes you so upset? The idea your mother and I did all we could to give you a better life, or is it that we picked ourselves up and became better people?" His manipulative tone comes in, sending mixed signals. But I could see where he was coming from completely.

"I just wish you two had taught me what it's like to be a proper parent. Instead, every time I would try getting your attention, you would always look away, and send me off to do something else." I feel my hands squeeze my thighs under the table, as I look up and down at my father with a silent yet harsh tone, "all I wanted was to admire you and learn what was so interesting about sitting in an office working for another person. But that's changed now, right? Because you've maxed out the level of superiority now that you've not done a single other thing."

"Y/n—"

"The fact you worked endlessly doesn't bother me as much as you criticizing me does. It truly hurts me that you attempt to steer me into another direction every time you visit when you haven't even been to at least seven of my birthdays. I wouldn't be surprised if you forgot it, either. You would judge who I hung out with, what I liked to do, everything. You even judged the way I handled my best friend dying, yet didn't think to send me to therapy. Toruku's mom is the one who took us to get help, not you. Why do you do it? Why do you think it's a good idea to bring me down? You've never been there for me, so you don't know me. You never will, father. You'll never know who I am."

A trembling hand reaches for my drink quickly, as I sip from the thin black straw in silence, taking in as much as I can. And all he can do is sit quiet, still processing my explanation.

That is until he speaks, finally. "I'm— I'm sorry."

"It's too late for that."

He nods.

The straw twirls between my fingers during the spinning memories of spending more time with my friends than my parents that ran through my mind. But it's whatever, right? I did just fine raising myself. At least that's what I told myself. Truth is, I needed people. I needed to grow with others on my side. It wasn't any wonder that I felt so lonely when I was younger. I'm dependent, yet independent.

Before getting up from my seat, I make sure to down the rest of the cold lemonade I had in my hand and grabbed both my hood and small bag. "Can we go now? Please."

"Sure. We can leave."

—

After getting home, I can't help but immediately let a few tears escape my eyes. The fact two words were all my father could say made my blood boil and my bones stiffen, especially since it was the last time I would talk with him in person before I graduate. Maybe I could meet him before he goes back to Korea, but I'd rather not. Not after leaving it at that.

The doors slam still echoed through the house, while I sat against the front door, crying in my lonely arms. No car to leave, and no one to hear me except a sleepy cat. While I do so, every thought of ever healing the hole between our relationship entered my thoughts, and the never-ending process of realizing I can't fix it hurts just as much as the pain in my chest.

Throughout the blur of water in my eyes, I make out the image of a white figure lying across my feet. I look up briefly, wipe my eyes, and stroke Astras back. Her soft, thin hair glides between my fingers, giving me a realization that I wasn't completely alone. No, I wasn't. I still had old friends and family that supported me, other than my father.

Right now, I had to think about the things that were important to me. The things that would help me grow, not look back at my regrets. Maybe the purpose of his visit was a sign from the universe, telling me to get over my past because my goals are too close for me to hesitate.

I needed a break from today. A nap, possibly. I don't think I'd be going back to school anytime soon, so I might as well rest a bit. That's exactly what I need, rest after a long week. After all, the weekend was just around the corner.

I slouch up the stairs with the chunky cat in my hand. By the time I reach my room, both my pants and shoes are in the other, and I'm ready to knock out between messy blankets.

—

'Ring!' My phone makes alarms under me, sending vibrations through the pillow my head rested on, making my eyelids quickly open. A hand snaked for the device, bringing the bright screen up to my face. It was no other than the band group chat.

Xanax sluts

Giki

Guess who just got invited to a party

Toruku

Us

Giki

No me but I asked if you guys could go and they said we can bring whoever

Toruku

Bruh

Who is hosting it

Giki

Some chick names Miya I know. She's a third-year and seems like a stuck-up little bitch but she's actually pretty cool.

Hikishi

Omg I love her she's so sweet

Me

Oh I know who you guys are talking about she's the girls' volleyball team captain

Giki

Yeah

Anyways she said you guys could go

Hikishi

When

Giki

Uhh

In like

An hour?

Me

HUH

GIRL IM NOT READY FOR A PARTY TN I JUST GOT IN THIS ARGUMENT WITH MY DAD 😟

Giki

Oh come onnn just slap on a dress or something and we can go

Hikishi

WAIT YES IM SO BORED

Toruku

Will, there be alcohol

Giki

No

Toruku

Will there be drugs

Giki

No

Toruku

Then this isn't a party-

Giki

Come on she's my friends and I promised you guys would go plus she's super popular so everyone's gonna be there AND she's rich

Toruku

And who's driving us

Hikishi

You mf who else

Me

Fine I'll go but you guys better not do anything to cause attention, if there's gonna be snobby people then we're most likely to be looked down on

Hikishi

I'm so excited yayy

Toruku

What are you excited about there's no drugs or alcohol

Hikishi

Cause this is the first party we're going to ever since last month

Toruku

Oh yeah

Giki

Mhm it's like this back to school party

Toruku

Giki if this is a kids party I'm gonna slap the lesbian out of you

Giki

ITS NOT YOU TOUCH-DEPRIVED TWINK

Me

See you guys in an hour ig

Hikishi

Oh-

—

Mom

Going out tn

Ok. Are you staying at anyone's house?

Maybe. Idk yet

How did it go with your dad

It went fine

Good baby I'm glad

Tell me when or if you get to someone's house

Ok I will love you

—

Happy that my mother didn't make an argument, I sigh, checking the time. It seemed pretty dark outside, so it had to be around eight or nine. And quickly after, I decide it's best to begin getting ready, again.

—

Please note chapters, it means a lot. I work endlessly on these making sure they're perfect for you guys. Have a good rest of your day, and I hope you take care of yourself. Love you lots!!

- estrxlar