#hmlak

[cursedhaglette]

y'all didn't think i was going to miss the opportunity to commission @tadpole-apocalypse for some art of my nightmare children did you!!! i am absolutely obsessed with their art and couldn't be happier with this piece - it just feels so them!!!

[applejuiz]

although I'm sad hmlw hmlak is over I am eternally grateful it introduced me to your writing you are very incredible<3

I have so many feelings and I am anything but normal over keyleths skin and hair finally healing

<3<3<3<3<3 Thank you!!!! And thanks for coming along for the journey. I don’t usually do multichapter fics but was so motivated by all the feedback I’d gotten. I’m so glad to have made it to the end!

It was so great to write about healing in that last chapter and to have the more physical aspect of it represented. It was definitely inspired by asks I got here! I also have a lot of big feelings about it, and how Keyleth approaches healing by the end of the fic. That she doesn’t have to do it alone, and that she could let herself heal by physically occupying herself with rebuilding things really came together perfectly for me.

I did have the thought in the earlier bath scene to have Vax cut her hair, since the hair would be so damaged and it would be a nice detail to carry from canon, a visual marker of Keyleth’s change. But it felt too early to get to and a little wrong to have what canonically represents her progress instead represent the trauma of the Shadowfell. I’m really glad I saved it because it does feel so much better to have at the end, to once again represent positive change and to have something healthier growing before what was damaged is discarded.

(I also think it’s so interesting that in c2 and c3 when we see Keyleth, she’s grown her hair out. A part of me wonders if she won’t ever cut it that short again because of the memories, because of what it represented to her at the time, because it’s so tied up in Vax and his ultimate love language. Curse you, Liam O’Brien for making me think way too much about hair.)

Anyway, once again I could talk about this fic, and vaxleth, literally all day and never be done. Thank you for the kind words and I hope you enjoy the other stories I have coming up!

[cursedhaglette]

“you know, I didn’t realize you and I were so alike.”

[cursedhaglette]

@fangswbenefits is a simple woman. she need him breed. and really, don't we all?

[cursedhaglette]

Hold Me Like a Knife - Chapter 10: Three Little Words

“Sex is just as much about control and power as it is about pleasure,” she says simply. “Everything comes down to control and power, in fact.”

“I’d have thought everything to you comes down to murder.”

“What is murder besides the ultimate show of control?”

“Ah, an unsatisfied Halia is a very serious Halia, good to know,” he snorts, and she just groans, laying her head on her hands. “I’ll add that to the murderous and serious Halia from the other night.”

[cursedhaglette]

Hold Me Like a Knife - Chapter 7: Golden Disappointment

“Your own kills have slowed, my darling killer. Do you grow angry with your God?”

She bites the inside of her cheek, closing her eyes in penitence, “Father, I have slain three this tenday in your name -”

“And you should be bringing me dozens, Necaria,” He thunders, and haunting footsteps move toward her, and Halia winces at His domineering presence, “you ought to bring me legions of dead, mountains of corpses with which we might bury this world and begin again.”

[cursedhaglette]

Hold Me Like a Knife - Chapter 4: A Spawn Amongst Spawn

“You’re awfully pretty, aren’t you?”

“If pretty is what you need, Lady Dhune, then that’s what I’ll be,” his tone somehow sounds both genuine and practiced, and when he smirks, the sight pulls a smile to her own lips. She realizes it immediately - she’ll be in trouble if she takes this one. He’s far too handsome.

She can’t be sure how old he was when turned, she’s never had the hang of guessing ages for anyone who aged differently than a human, but his face has the lines of a life well-lived. Lines from smiling, laughing, around his eyes and cheeks. It’s absurdly charming, even as his eyes lower to hers with confusion.

And then he takes a deep inhale of her, and the smirk falls, her own smile disappearing with it. His brilliant red eyes search hers before he asks, “What…what are you?”

[cursedhaglette]

Still cooking, despite the typo I see in this (don’t perceive it). Durge pretadpole fic that’s going to lean heavily of dark Catholic imagery so I can’t get that outta my system.

[cursedhaglette]

i um. have nothing to say. but i offer this to you.

[cursedhaglette]

Hold Me Like a Knife - Chapter 6: Interview with a Vampire Spawn

“You are not,” pinch, “going to choose,” pinch, “the hot one - just because he’s hot,” she says aloud with a final squeeze. She keeps having to remind herself that this whole experiment will require more than just attraction to be successful.

She shakes out her nerves and then the door knocks, three loud raps, to announce their arrival.

Three hooded, soaking vampire spawn stand on her doorstep, and three awkward smiles are their only greeting until the blonde one says a quick, “Good evening!”

[cursedhaglette]

I’ve gotten a few comments asking where I’ve been (on HMLAK) and just want to clarify that I got hit with a very real burnout after writing something like 250k words in six months, which is something I’ve never come even remotely close to doing

I’m gonna try and go back to it this week and see where I land, but sorry to anyone that’s been waiting. Between burnout, life, and fandom drama, I just had no words left. But I hope to find some more and share them with you guys soon ❤️‍🩹

[cursedhaglette]

Hold Me Like a Knife - Chapter 3: Contractually Bound

“Alright,” Halia says, bringing the supplies in and setting them before Harrow. “Let’s make a contract so I can borrow a vampire spawn.”

“You’re aware how ridiculous it sounds when you phrase it that way, aren’t you?”

“Oh yeah,” Halia confirms before casting mage hand and sending the spectral assistant up to her library in search of a couple of books she has on vampires and other monsters. “But nothing about my life has ever been particularly normal.”

[cursedhaglette]

that last chapter was off the cuff which means i have to rework my outline but...worth it

[cursedhaglette]

Hold Me Like a Knife - Chapter 11: Marjorie

“Why do you care, Halia?”

“I - what?”

“You’re supposed to be a merciless killer, aren’t you? Bhaal’s favorite pet? So why would you give a damn about the well-being of a handful of vampire spawns? About my past? Why are you making this show of being kind to me?”

[cursedhaglette]

Hold Me Like a Knife - Chapter 9: Square Peg, Round Hole

“Is that all you came here for? Should I send you home to your new lover?” “Jealousy looks terrible on you.”

“Oh please, Halia,” he scoffs, “we’ve never been faithful to one another. Let’s not rewrite history now for the sake of this argument.”

“You’re irritating.”

“And you’re a brat.”

“Fair,” she concedes. It’s true. So she changes the subject. “I need any information you have on Cazador Szarr.”

[cursedhaglette]

Hold Me Like a Knife - Chapter 5: Fear & Loathing

“Can spawn make dhampirs though? And do we really think Bhall won’t punish us for failing?” For once, he’s glad Petras opened his mouth, his questions actually valuable additions. Astarion extends a hand for his shoe, giving a soft nod of apology. It’s all he’ll ever offer the fool and he needs his shoe back before Godey returns.

“I intend to try,” Astarion grins, but the expression is forced, even by his standards. He’s not sure how he feels about being breeding stock, even if the woman in question is undeniably beautiful. Demeaning or not, he’s been required to do worse, and the thought of living anywhere else for a year is more than enough to tempt him.

He’ll be a terrible father, but who cares - Bhaal? He doubts it.