#hobog

[hobgirl]

unexpected side effects

[mechagalaxy]

Sten Hugo Hiller - 627184: An assignment stinking to high heavens

(By Sten Hugo Hiller - 627184) An assignment stinking to high heavens

The war of `58 was just around the corner, and we of the Star League had as usual signed up to participate in it.

Admittedly, our ranks have thinned over the decades, and finding Commanders willing to join us is harder than getting a double win in the lotto. At the moment, our rooster had just enough Commanders to allow us to participate in a regular clan war, but Tony Hoogheem, -head of the Rumors and Deduction department, had gone under the radar years back trying to localize all of Gorax` bases and henchmen.

When he succeeded, this hopefully would let the combined weight of the Mercenary clans wipe him out for good. But in the meantime it left a gaping hole in Star Leagues offensive capabilities.

I recieved a summon from the temporary head of Relations and Diplomacy (Clan leader) -Drake Hunter, and arrived promptly at his office. He was busy studying the roosters of the probable opponents we would face, and he was not a happy man. At the sight of me he shook his head and in a tone that signaled the decision had been made he said "I have a job for you, suited to your particular talents"

Last time those words were directed to me in that tone had been when the drill sergeant in my recruit platoon wanted me to clean the latrines. But surely that was not what Drake had in mind? But after listening to him explain what he wanted me to do, I fervently whished the job had been to lick the latrines clean instead.

As those of you that follows the news should be aware of, Team Banzai recently came upon one of Gorax` Mechs while it was being swarmed by Snavurms. It turned out the Snavurms skin oils somehow did kill off the Gorax virus, and had actually restored both the Mech and the pilot to normal. So far so good, but managing to get hordes of wild Snavurms into contact with the Gorax infested Mechs would be close to impossible. Say you found a tribe of them, how to get them to the Gorax infested Mechs instead of swarming over your own was more than I had any idea of.

Of course, Drake was not thinking of using some random tribe of wild Snavurms. He wanted me to bring my uplifted Snavurms along and take care of the problem.

I was really tempted to tell him where he could put that job, but held my tongue. While the uplifted Snavurms on Kongo at this point probably could field twice as many Mechs as the Shogunate and the Hegemony combined, having armies of Snavurms shoving up all over the Galaxy, -even on a mission to eradicate Gorax, could well trigger a xeno-war.

So I nodded and went to the hangar, mind busy trying to figure how to solve the problem, not just following orders. Getting the Snavurms to volunteer was no problem, and when I explained to Boris and Keikko what their part of the mission would be, they tried to kiss my hands while prostating themselves. Question was what Mechs to use.

I finally decided on using my Nifthels as the main force. Heidrun (my first Apototron) would be our mobile HQ/destillery/lab, Boris and Keikko would of course ride their customized Hoplites (Pala Hobog and Hobog Ka?), and we brought along some factory fresh Nephilax`es where all the armament and communication gear had been removed as test vehicles/lures. To avoid possible contamination risk we would operate from one of the recently discovered planets in the Clarke federation where no other humans were supposed to be.

The first part of the plan was to capture some pirates. Scouring the Pirate Moon we found some Kanabo Crusher posers. If the real Kanabo Crushers had discovered that those wannabees had posed as the real thing, their fates would probably have been even worse than what we had in mind for them. Meanwhile, Boris and Keikko had been busy distilling kiloliters of Snavurm spirit.

That concotion is probably the second worst drink ever made. 140 proof alcohool and 30% Snavurm sweat makes it something no sane person would want within lightyears of their solar system. The only drink that is worse is the Old Karelia. Produced from rotting fish oil, it is banned on most planets that have ever heard of it, and classified as chemical warfare on those that have experienced it. If you were to give a pilot a choiche between the two of them, the most likely choice would be to power up the Mech and vaporize both you and the drinks in question. -On second thought, they would prefer to burn you and the drinks.

While most of the task force was building holding facilities for the pirates, I got the dubious plesure of leading some Snavurms on what was perhaps the most foolhardy part of the plan. -Capture some live Gorax virus.

After blowing up some of Gorax`s minions, my Snavurms (in contamination suits so they wouldnt kill the virus) got plenty of samples sealed in specially prepared containers. Hopefully the virus would not escape into the Snavurm-smell filled cockpits and perish before we got back to the base and could put it to better use.

At the base, the holding facilities for the pirates had been finished. Each pirate was in a small, windowless cabin placed in a deep hollow it should be impossible to escape from. Now, the Nephilax`es were being prepared. Each of them were rigged with a small container of Gorax virus that would be released when the cockpit were opened.

Boris and Keikko had also been busy on the second part of their job. The question had been how to deliver the Snavurm spirit to Gorax infected Mechs. They had come up with three possibilities. Removing the warheads in the Small Cluster Rack missiles, and filling them with a container of Snavurm spirit. Tinkering with the Small Flame launchers so instead of a stream of fire it delivered a spray of Snavurm spirit. And putting some Snavurm spirit in the shells for the Dynamo Cannon.

Personally I thought the Small Cluster Rack missiles had the best potential. They had a decent payload and long reach. The Dynamo Cannon were faster, and had similar range, but would the small amount of liquid be enough? As for the Small Flamers, they sure would cover a target in fluid, but it was shorter ranged, and the tanks were after all not that big. -Besides, the stench would surely reach the one firing the Flamer as well, making its continued use questionable.

But it was time to test my theories. The first Nephilax were carefully winched to the outside of one of the cabins. The Snavrums ringed the rim in their Nifthels, and the locks in the cabin disengaged. It took a few minutes before the pirate inside pecked out. When he saw the parked Nephilax he sprinted for it, ripped open the Cockpit and dived inside. At first he tried to scale the walls, but soon the Nephilax started sprouting the spikes asosciated with the Gorax virus. The Mech started gyrating vildly as the pirate was infected, but after a couple minutes it started a methodic digging to make a ramp for its escape.

Now was the time to check the weapons. As feared, the Small Flamer`s Reach was short, but enough of the stream converted into droplets that the Nephilax soon glistened in the little light that reached it. The Gorax spikes vilted away and soon the cokpit opened and the pirate dived headfirst out of the Mech. The fall only stunned him for a minute, and when he came to he was scraming as a lost soul. "THE STENCH!!!! I CANT STAND IT" Stumbling around, he fell into a small puddle of snavrum spirit and the screams reached a feverish pitch. He ran toward the ramp he had tried to make, and before we had any inkling of what he planned he had picked up a big rock and bashed in his own head.

As it turned out, even one of the Dynamo Cannon`s shells had enough payload to do the job, -eventually. And as I had hoped, the Small Cluster Racks payload was big enough that one hit would kill off the virus in about eight seconds.

Three more pirates died during the testing when their headlong dives brpke their skulls or their necks. The rest were tranquilized and strapped down on the cots in the cabins we had preapared for them earlier.

Of course, that left the question of caring for them. The Snavurm stench was so strong that only a Snavurm could stand it, and using the Snavrums as nurses were both maintaining the smell, and driving the pirates into a catatonic state due to fear.

But. The mission were acomplished. And it was time for me to return and report the success. The blueprints for the changed weapons were copied, and the destillation process for making the Snavurm spirit was painstalkingly detailed.

Unfortunately, we had been away for a long time, and when we returned the base was in ruins. The first battleday had ended, and the Death`s Collectors had flattened us. Still, Drake took some time to listen to the reports, but was not satisfied. "What you have come up with, is a cure most will consider worse than the plague. You simply have to do something about the stench. And speaking of stench, get out of here before you contaminate the whole base."(By Sten Hugo Hiller - 627184) An assignment stinking to high heavensThe war of `58 was just around the corner, and we of the Star League had as usual signed up to participate in it.Admittedly, our ranks have thinned over the decades, and finding Commanders willing to join us is harder than getting a double win in the lotto. At the moment, our rooster had just enough Commanders to allow us to participate in a regular clan war, but Tony Hoogheem, -head of the Rumors and Deduction department, had gone under the radar years back trying to localize all of Gorax` bases and henchmen.When he succeeded, this hopefully would let the combined weight of the Mercenary clans wipe him out for good. But in the meantime it left a gaping hole in Star Leagues offensive capabilities.I recieved a summon from the temporary head of Relations and Diplomacy (Clan leader) -Drake Hunter, and arrived promptly at his office. He was busy studying the roosters of the probable opponents we would face, and he was not a happy man. At the sight of me he shook his head and in a tone that signaled the decision had been made he said "I have a job for you, suited to your particular talents"Last time those words were directed to me in that tone had been when the drill sergeant in my recruit platoon wanted me to clean the latrines. But surely that was not what Drake had in mind? But after listening to him explain what he wanted me to do, I fervently whished the job had been to lick the latrines clean instead.As those of you that follows the news should be aware of, Team Banzai recently came upon one of Gorax` Mechs while it was being swarmed by Snavurms. It turned out the Snavurms skin oils somehow did kill off the Gorax virus, and had actually restored both the Mech and the pilot to normal. So far so good, but managing to get hordes of wild Snavurms into contact with the Gorax infested Mechs would be close to impossible. Say you found a tribe of them, how to get them to the Gorax infested Mechs instead of swarming over your own was more than I had any idea of.Of course, Drake was not thinking of using some random tribe of wild Snavurms. He wanted me to bring my uplifted Snavurms along and take care of the problem.I was really tempted to tell him where he could put that job, but held my tongue. While the uplifted Snavurms on Kongo at this point probably could field twice as many Mechs as the Shogunate and the Hegemony combined, having armies of Snavurms shoving up all over the Galaxy, -even on a mission to eradicate Gorax, could well trigger a xeno-war.So I nodded and went to the hangar, mind busy trying to figure how to solve the problem, not just following orders. Getting the Snavurms to volunteer was no problem, and when I explained to Boris and Keikko what their part of the mission would be, they tried to kiss my hands while prostating themselves. Question was what Mechs to use.I finally decided on using my Nifthels as the main force. Heidrun (my first Apototron) would be our mobile HQ/destillery/lab, Boris and Keikko would of course ride their customized Hoplites (Pala Hobog and Hobog Ka?), and we brought along some factory fresh Nephilax`es where all the armament and communication gear had been removed as test vehicles/lures. To avoid possible contamination risk we would operate from one of the recently discovered planets in the Clarke federation where no other humans were supposed to be.The first part of the plan was to capture some pirates. Scouring the Pirate Moon we found some Kanabo Crusher posers. If the real Kanabo Crushers had discovered that those wannabees had posed as the real thing, their fates would probably have been even worse than what we had in mind for them. Meanwhile, Boris and Keikko had been busy distilling kiloliters of Snavurm spirit.That concotion is probably the second worst drink ever made. 140 proof alcohool and 30% Snavurm sweat makes it something no sane person would want within lightyears of their solar system. The only drink that is worse is the Old Karelia. Produced from rotting fish oil, it is banned on most planets that have ever heard of it, and classified as chemical warfare on those that have experienced it. If you were to give a pilot a choiche between the two of them, the most likely choice would be to power up the Mech and vaporize both you and the drinks in question. -On second thought, they would prefer to burn you and the drinks.While most of the task force was building holding facilities for the pirates, I got the dubious plesure of leading some Snavurms on what was perhaps the most foolhardy part of the plan. -Capture some live Gorax virus.After blowing up some of Gorax`s minions, my Snavurms (in contamination suits so they wouldnt kill the virus) got plenty of samples sealed in specially prepared containers. Hopefully the virus would not escape into the Snavurm-smell filled cockpits and perish before we got back to the base and could put it to better use.At the base, the holding facilities for the pirates had been finished. Each pirate was in a small, windowless cabin placed in a deep hollow it should be impossible to escape from. Now, the Nephilax`es were being prepared. Each of them were rigged with a small container of Gorax virus that would be released when the cockpit were opened.Boris and Keikko had also been busy on the second part of their job. The question had been how to deliver the Snavurm spirit to Gorax infected Mechs. They had come up with three possibilities. Removing the warheads in the Small Cluster Rack missiles, and filling them with a container of Snavurm spirit. Tinkering with the Small Flame launchers so instead of a stream of fire it delivered a spray of Snavurm spirit. And putting some Snavurm spirit in the shells for the Dynamo Cannon.Personally I thought the Small Cluster Rack missiles had the best potential. They had a decent payload and long reach. The Dynamo Cannon were faster, and had similar range, but would the small amount of liquid be enough? As for the Small Flamers, they sure would cover a target in fluid, but it was shorter ranged, and the tanks were after all not that big. -Besides, the stench would surely reach the one firing the Flamer as well, making its continued use questionable.But it was time to test my theories. The first Nephilax were carefully winched to the outside of one of the cabins. The Snavrums ringed the rim in their Nifthels, and the locks in the cabin disengaged. It took a few minutes before the pirate inside pecked out. When he saw the parked Nephilax he sprinted for it, ripped open the Cockpit and dived inside. At first he tried to scale the walls, but soon the Nephilax started sprouting the spikes asosciated with the Gorax virus. The Mech started gyrating vildly as the pirate was infected, but after a couple minutes it started a methodic digging to make a ramp for its escape.Now was the time to check the weapons. As feared, the Small Flamer`s Reach was short, but enough of the stream converted into droplets that the Nephilax soon glistened in the little light that reached it. The Gorax spikes vilted away and soon the cokpit opened and the pirate dived headfirst out of the Mech. The fall only stunned him for a minute, and when he came to he was scraming as a lost soul. "THE STENCH!!!! I CANT STAND IT" Stumbling around, he fell into a small puddle of snavrum spirit and the screams reached a feverish pitch. He ran toward the ramp he had tried to make, and before we had any inkling of what he planned he had picked up a big rock and bashed in his own head.As it turned out, even one of the Dynamo Cannon`s shells had enough payload to do the job, -eventually. And as I had hoped, the Small Cluster Racks payload was big enough that one hit would kill off the virus in about eight seconds.Three more pirates died during the testing when their headlong dives brpke their skulls or their necks. The rest were tranquilized and strapped down on the cots in the cabins we had preapared for them earlier.Of course, that left the question of caring for them. The Snavurm stench was so strong that only a Snavurm could stand it, and using the Snavrums as nurses were both maintaining the smell, and driving the pirates into a catatonic state due to fear.But. The mission were acomplished. And it was time for me to return and report the success. The blueprints for the changed weapons were copied, and the destillation process for making the Snavurm spirit was painstalkingly detailed.Unfortunately, we had been away for a long time, and when we returned the base was in ruins. The first battleday had ended, and the Death`s Collectors had flattened us. Still, Drake took some time to listen to the reports, but was not satisfied. "What you have come up with, is a cure most will consider worse than the plague. You simply have to do something about the stench. And speaking of stench, get out of here before you contaminate the whole base."

[hobgirl]

recent events wouldn't leave my mind until i made this

[hobgirl]

[hobgirl]

FINALLY got offered an interview but it's for a job i don't want and only applied to in a moment of weakness + when i was on the phone with one of the people who works at the agency that company is hiring people through she said she was so excited i applied because the sales department there is usually only men 😬

[mechagalaxy]

Sten Hugo Hiller - 627184: Persons of note in B Company of Star League: Boris and Keikko.

(By Sten Hugo Hiller - 627184) Persons of note in B Company of Star League: Boris and Keikko.

These two Techs, also known as walking disasters, rumored to be part of a trio where murphy himself is the unseen member hails from the planet of New Karelia.  A joint colonization effort by Russians and Finns, to show brotherhood and Cooperation in a period where the two Earth governments were at their friendliest.

It didn't work out quite as planned.  Mostly the two groups kept to themselves. You could compare it to a Grizzly and a Wolverine. None wanted to tangle with the other, so each had their territories and stayed out of the others as much as possible.

Up near the coldest parts of the inhabited area was two smallish villages, one of Russians and one of Finns. One day two young boys met each other in the woods.  After some fisticuffs, resulting in bloodied noses and loosened teeth, they withdrew into a lake to avoid the swarms of mosquitoes summoned by the smell of fresh blood. By the time the mosquitoes withdrew they had a budding friendship, that over the next decade grew closer and closer.

When both won scholarships to the technical college in New Viborg they caused quite a stir. It was a joint College, and officially ethicality didn't exist, so everybody was friends. Except the two groups never mixed. Before Boris and Keikko.

Viewed by deep mistrust by both groups they had just each other, and the studies. They excelled at it, the theory was soon absorbed and left on its own for the fascinating world of the workshops and laboratories. By the end of the first year their science project won the first prize in competition with all the other students, including the fifth year ones. By the end of the second year, they were more and more drafted to teach complicated engineering (biological and mechanical) to other students. This caused resentment, and some decided to give them a lesson.

Two girls started to smile and flirt. Boris and Keikko was totally unaccustomed to attention from the fairer sex, and soon was totally under the girl's thrall. When the girls suggested a foursome picnic they heartily agreed. When they arrived at the secluded forest glade, they were met by a gang of other students. Two of them claimed Boris and Keikko was trying to steal their girlfriends, and the ensuing beating left Boris and Keikko bleeding, broken wrecks.

Luckily for them, some other picnickers came to the spot not long after. Medical personnel were summoned, and they were brought to the hospital. It turned out some of those who had beaten them were sons of faculty staff, so the incident was made to disappear. Also, the six month reconvalsence before they could walk meant they lost their scholarships due to nonperformance of academic studies. On the other hand, those six months in the same room made them as close as two human beings could become.

When they got out of the hospital they decided to move to Noewy Rovnjemi, a small city located on the southern edge of a big inland lake. It was the place where Russians and fins  worked closest together. They set up a small repair shop on the outskirts of the town, and got enough business to earn some surplus, but not enough to occupy their time. Fishing seemed to be a safe pastime, but the fish in the lake was considered non-edible.

It had tough skin, and the meat had a really unpleasant flavor. Boris and Keikko decided to try and make the best out of the fish. The skin at least could be used, right? It took a lot of experimenting to find out how to cure it, and the stench was so bad the local tanneries got a court order decreeing they had to stop or move somewhere else. They moved to a small isthmus projecting into the lake. The water there was deep enough that they could build a quay for the 35 feet fishing boat they needed to get the raw materials.

The fish-skin, properly cured, was a commercial success, but what to do with the rest of the fish? Here the lack of resources for alcohol production made them try to use the fish oil as an ingredient. After the fish had been through skinning and all the fluids had been squeezed out of it, the meat was smoked and became a passable emergency ration.  (The Illyrian military bought some of it as special food for its penal battalions, and after word of the taste got out discipline problems dropped by 15%)

The oil was sent through a complicated chemical process, and at the end it was fermented and distilled. The resulting brew had a high alcohol content and a truly vile stench. It was marketed under the brand name "Old Karelia"

Other residents noticed the cash-flow these products produced and tried to do the same. But lacking the know-how the results of their efforts varied from poor to abysmal.

At this time two beautiful women started hanging around Boris and Keikko. Wary from the last encounter they hired an agency to do some discreet checking, but the women seemed to be all right. A year later a double wedding took place and they hoped for quiet and happy lives.

Unfortunately that didn't happen. A week into the marriages domestic violence erupted. Few were the days they got to work without fresh bruises, scratches, scalp wounds where hair had been ripped off or loosened teeth. Two months into the marriages they moved to the Old Karelia plant and started making inroads into their own Stocks, the stench from it kept even their harridans of wife's away.

The wives did not sit quietly. One was a cousin to the chief of police, the other was a niece to the judge. One year after moving out Boris and Keikko was arrested for abandonment, and the judge awarded the two wives the whole fishing industry, including the fish-meat, fish-skin and Old Karelia Production, as well as all bank accounts in the divorce settlement.

Getting out of town, they stopped by the old workshop and loaded their tools on an old van and headed south.

That was when they came across me and got hired as Techs.

Since then they have been excellent to superior when it comes to fixing Mechs. But their connection to reality is shaky at best, their alcohol consumption is about the same as the rest of the company, and they have a horror of women, especially any they suspect of being of marriageable intentions.

Currently they are on loan to the Trollwerk Limited Mech facility where they are troubleshooting new inventions.

If they get into Mechs, the model they normally use is the Hoplite. Their personal Mechs, (named PALA HOBOG and HOBOG KA? by Wilben Pagayon of the ARMORED CORE,) uses as standard equipment:

1x Rackmount 1x Spinal Bracing 2x Block Charge  1x Viridel Shield 1x Crabworth Shield 1x SLAB Shield  1x Redis Shield

Giving these stats:

Level: 158 Hoplites (HOBOG KA? and PALA HOBOG)

…Precision: 6 ……Crit-Kill: 2% …….Dodge: 12 …….Speed: 78  2X Damage: 14%  3X Damage: 28%  ……..Freeze: 3%  ……..Ice Shield: 22%  .Fire Vulnerable: 12%  …..Laser Shield: 22%  …Missile Shield: 32%  Projectile Shield: 34%  ..Trample Shield: 55%  ….Splash Shield: 15%

Prefering to have weapons for all eventualities they normally ask for the following:

5x Achilles Beam 5x Panther Wheel 5x Square Flame 5x Icy Blast 5x Quad Rocket