#holojaneway

[spockvarietyhour]

Star Trek Prodigy "Ouroboros Pt. 1"

[stra-tek]

[voyager-jc-addict-aka-muizeke83]

Caption this.

[commandermeg]

Something I really appreciate about this scene is that neither Jankom nor HoloJaneway make any negative commentary about Rok's food choices - I especially loved HoloJaneway's comment about " - a gal who knows what she likes."

[jone-slugger]

Holo-Janeway: If you're going to be stubborn, let me at least tell you all I know about the Borg.

Dal: Yeah, that was tmi.

[meteorologistaustenlonek]

Go boldly... ...but bring coffee.

[singeart]

Ysida

[lodessa]

Started something . . .

“But really . . .” she says after a long silence, not lifting her cheek from its resting place against his chest, “Did you?”

A dozen teasing answers spring to mind, but here: alone and stripped of all armor, the last thing he wants to do is to put a wall up. So he runs his fingertips back down her bare spine, soaking in the reality of Kathryn: here in his arms at long last and replies simply: “No.”

Why do you say that like you’re embarrassed?” she questions, turning her face to look up into his, while staying wrapped close against him for the most part.  “Do you have something more shameful to tell me than what you apparently didn’t do while stuck alone on that planet with my hologram?”

Kathryn’s voice is curious, no hint of accusation or resentment to be found.  She can be a jealous mistress, this woman he loves with his entire being, but that apparently doesn’t extend to whatever she was imagining might have passed between him and her hologram.

It is a fair question.  It isn’t like the thought never occurred to him. It’s not even like holoJaneway (yes, he still insists on thinking of her that way, never holoKathryn) hadn’t broached the topic.  (That’s irony for you, isn’t it? All the years the two of them spent talking around it, but he’s had dozens of conversations about himself and Kathryn with her holographic facsimile.)  He spent a decade with only holoJaneway for comfort and he wouldn’t even let himself truly have that.

“It sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it?” he has to admit.  “But as much as having that little imitation sliver of you kept me going, kept me alive . . . I think it would have hurt more than it would have helped to pretend like that.”

I didn’t deserve the comfort, a voice inside of him adds.  Not after what happened to my crew, to Adreek . . . Not knowing I could never come back to you and you might never know why.

“Noble,” she bites her lip with a smile. “Principled. Honorable. Long suffering.”

And with that, Kathryn shifts her weight to roll more evenly on top of him, beginning to crawl her way up.

“I felt more like I was being a petulant child sometimes,” he admits.  “Refusing comfort, taking my own frustrations out on an imperfect copy for not actually being you.”

Which isn’t exactly the romance hero answer, but that’s kind of the point.  He’s here now, running his fingers through the bits of gray in Kathryn’s hair.  She’s real and can be too, finally.   This isn’t some hallucination, some fantasy temptation to pristine to be true.  He looks up into her smile lined face and his regret is that he wasn’t there to see every millimeter of them forming.

[babytuvok]

ok so where's the holojaneway & admiral janeway heart to heart fics about their combined 17 years of being in love with chakotay

[gijane-7702]

Now I'm picturing Chakotay's face with THREE Janeways, two holograms and one human, running about 🤣

The kids would love it 😂

And ... NOT IT !!

I need a fic where Q saves season 1 holo Janeway and gives her back to the kids and they all just start calling her mum. Like they just have two Janeway holograms and they just love it.

Or possibly Q just merges their two programs so she has all her memories.

Idk. But I need it.

[spockvarietyhour]

that answers that.

[myenterpriseisparked]

Pareidolia

Chakotay misses the real Kathryn Janeway and Hologram Janeway ponders her emotional evolution.

Read on AO3

“Captain?” Her voice filtered through the door to his quarters. “Are you planning on getting up today?”

Chakotay squeezed his eyes shut. He knew Janeway was worried, but he was tired. So tired. Despite having done nothing for days on end, he didn’t think he had ever been so tired in his whole life.

Maybe when he found out the rest of the Maquis died? He wasn’t sure. 

“Captain?” Her voice came through the door again and, since it was her voice, he stood and opened it. 

She looked up at him with worried, blue eyes and he immediately knew that opening the door was a mistake.

“You look ill.” She said, reaching up to touch his chin and turn his face from side to side. “We should take you down to sickbay and run diagnostics.”

“I’m not sick.” He said, pulling his chin out of her grasp. “And sickbay is offline, remember?”

“I can still run some basic scans–”

“I’m not sick.” He bit out.

She looked at him, brow furrowed in worry.

“Captain, I know things have been difficult since Adreek–”

“I don’t want to talk about Adreek.” He was a bit surprised at the vitriol in his own voice, but he went on. “I’m not sick and I don’t want to talk about Adreek.”

“It might help.”

“Might help what? Might help me be less grouchy? For whose benefit? Yours?”

She took a step backward, but held his gaze. “No, for yours.”

He shook his head. “We’re alone on this rock now, Janeway. I just want to sleep.”

She sighed. “As you wish, Captain.”

For some reason, that felt like a slap to the face more than anything else.

Chakotay knew that the woman standing in front of him wasn’t really Kathryn Janeway. That knowledge was like the soft hum of a fan in the back of his head; a white noise he was subconsciously aware of but not actively thinking about. For the most part she was an incredibly accurate recreation, but then there were moments like this, where her programming was too agreeable – when she didn’t bite back in all the ways that his Kathryn would – and it was like the fan roared to life and drowned out the sound of anything else. 

He felt his chest squeeze.

“What, that’s it?” He said before he could stop himself. He took a step forward to cover the distance she had created between them. “That’s all you have to say?”

She looked confused. “You said you just wanted to sleep.”

He took another step forward and they stood so close they were practically touching. He was glad she didn’t step back; he didn’t think he would be able to stand it if she had stepped back. 

“And you’re just going to let me get away with that?”

Her brow furrowed and, for a moment, he saw frustration flash in her eyes.

Yes, YES.

“So you want me to… what? See that you’re lying and call you out on it?” She tilted her head. “That’s a bit dramatic, Captain. Just say what you mean.”

She was almost there. There was frustration in her voice, but no bite. Not yet.

“I don’t want you to call me out for lying,” he said sharply. “I’m not lying. I just–” He stopped. What the hell was he doing?

She tilted her head and the frustration left her eyes, replaced by something softer and warmer that Chakotay was not ready for. “You want me to get angry.”

He looked away. “I want you to–”

He stopped speaking, but the unsaid words lingered between them anyway: I want you to be Kathryn Janeway.

There was a brush of a hand on his shoulder but, by the time he looked up, the hologram had disappeared. 

Shame pooled low and cold in his gut, squeezing his insides like a constrictor.

What the hell am I doing?

He rubbed a tired hand over his face and shut the door to his room, tucking himself back in bed.

Even as he fell back asleep he could feel her watching, and the guilt squeezed harder and harder until tears came out of his eyes.

—

He wanted her to be Kathryn Janeway. The real one.

She wished, for a moment, that her programmers had not given her a heart. The Tin Man from The Wizard of Oz was insane, she thought, to wish for this special kind of agony. Was there a wizard that could take hers away? Give it to someone who could benefit from it? What good was it for a training hologram to have the ability to feel?

She supposed it had probably started as an ability to care – which was good for a hologram to be able to do – and had evolved from there. Why did she have to evolve? Growing and learning was good, yes, but why did she have to live with human emotions?

Especially ones that cannot be requited?

She sighed and put a hand to her head, swirling the cup of coffee she held with the other. With her eyes closed, she focused on the quiet sounds of the bridge. Since she was the only electronic program still running in the entire ship, she could hear little besides the shifting sands outside and the occasional squeak of the small, alien rodent who had snuck into the ship a week ago. 

She hadn’t had the heart to shoo it out. It was just looking for a place to shelter and it wasn’t like she and Chakotay needed the entire ship to themselves.

It’s not like Chakotay needs the entire ship to himself. I don’t really take up space.

She was tempted to peek in at him in his quarters again, but she knew he needed space. She would give him that for one more day and then remind him he needed to go get food. Apparently, he wanted her to be more assertive. She would try to be. For him.

Despite her lack of actual lungs, her second deep sigh felt good. 

She knew she couldn’t be Kathryn Janeway in the way he wanted, and he would never look at her and see anything other than the afterimage of the woman he loved. She was a ghost, a simulacrum, an inferior model. She was not who he really needed.

But, God help her, she would try to be. She had the rest of his life to try to get it right.

She took a sip of her coffee and set a timer for 24 hours. She would knock on his door then and make him eat something. And, maybe, convince him to go outside.

And, if that didn’t work, she would keep trying. However long it took.

[giffingthingsss]

The Starfleet peeps really didn’t hang out with the doc. Apart from a few thoughtful moments, he was the doctor (and occasional irritant). His personality kind of masks his lack of actual relationships. He had Kes, a pure soul who took him at face value, then Seven who saw him as not completely different from her, and then in the very end they hint that he will begin to build a friendship with Janeway. 

[gijane-7702]

I am Beckett Mariner

[jone-slugger]

My Spanish heart just broke 💔😭😭😭😭

[insanewaykathy]

I wonder if this reaction from holoJaneway was from the personality itself (the hologram) or from the real Janeway.