#honestly i just want to feminize seb you know

[nyan-koii]

Everyday i think about alternate universe coquette seb with michael who pampers him like theres no tomorrow. Michael would absolutely be head over heels because of how seb looks at him with that flushed cheeks and beautiful blue eyes.

Seb definitely enjoys drowning in michaels attention what more with how the man always have to make a physical contact with him whether it be a simple head pat or a possesive waist grab, everything makes sebastian heart flutters. He dresses up nicely for michael, he puts on a show for him because seb knows michael is tired with all his work and he wanted to be good and help him.

Michael's favourite outfit? Definitely something that accentuates seb's youth especially the fuzzy coats that seb would always wear whenever they go out. Its adorable and he loves it, seb loves it too and oh god michael feels like wanting to carry him to their bedroom and show sebastian how much he loves him. It'll start slow and gentle, michael will always tell seb how perfect he is while slowly pulling and discarding his clothes away. Sebastian would keep a close eye on the man, observing his movement how michael plant trails of kisses on his legs before taking off his shoes, how michael would bury his face on seb's tummy before taking it off and how michael mouths at seb's lace panties, telling him everything about you is so beautiful before ripping it apart knowing well he's going to be spending his money on sebastian again.

Whats there not to love about them?

[sysakiddo]

we are SO BACK baby. is Sebchal alive?? Have I succeeded in the CPR?

ao3(with some notes), 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Before lunch, Max is trying to catch up on the lost sleep in the lounge chair. Daniel is swimming with long, strong strokes that smoothly break the water’s surface and barely make any sound. When he dives up and sees Max, planes of milky skin on show, his mouth waters. Max's nose had already started to turn red, and his sunglasses were doing nothing to hide that. 

Max thinks about joining him for a split second, but last night's dream still lives at the back of his head. He breathes in the smell of chlorine, and another memory flashes, him trying to resurface, legs and arms tied, lungs on fire from the lack of oxygen. 

“Cover your tits, Max!” Charles yells across the terrace, framing his mouth with his hands so he's louder. Max doesn't even stir. 

Anne is sitting on a chair, typing away on her computer. Her phone rings and she starts chattering in quick Dutch, something Daniel doesn't even try to decipher. Max, however, sits up when she hangs up. 

“He gave you an E?” he asks, his voice scratchy. 

Anne blushes and nods once. She picks up the drink Charles has poured for her but doesn't drink it. “I guess he didn't really-” 

“Well, that's bullshit. You told me what you would write about and made some great points.” Max stands up, and the shadow from his figure stretches all the way to Daniel. 

Anne sighs and lets Max sit down on the chair next to her. “It's not that bad, Max. He did have some valid criticism-” 

“Honestly, fuck him.” His shoulders are hunched, and his lips are forming a thin line. Daniel's stomach tightens at seeing him like this. 

“I need to try harder. My classmates-” 

Max scoffs. “It's just that, you know, they are all so-” she continues, her voice wobbly now. “I feel like I need to do three times more just to be able to play with them at the sandpit.” 

It always felt stupid to Max to talk to her about the glass ceiling and feminism when he was a white man from a wealthy family. After all, the only other woman here was Pierre's girlfriend. She still hasn't introduced herself to them. 

“Maybe we should introduce her to Mlinarević.” Charles quips beside them and rolls his eyes when Max immediately scrunches his nose. 

“What about Susie?” Daniel asks from where he is leaning on his forearms in the pool. 

Anne nods. “She's nice, yeah. But she's been trying to persuade me to change my nationality for over a year now.” 

“Yeah, we have to figure out something different.” 

Daniel exits the pool, and the water swooshes in short, quick waves. “Maybe you should just drop out,” 

“Daniel!” Max hushes him and Daniel smirks, shaking his hair just beside him so the droplets fall on Max's heated skin. 

Anne just shoots him a smile and turns back to her computer. Max, however, isn't going to let him get away with it. He stands up and pushes into him just as Daniel leans over to get the towel. He falls into the pool with a loud splash, laughing as he resurfaces. 

“Maybe don't try to persuade my mentee to drop out of school, yeah?” Max says, but this time, he is smiling. 

“She's right, though,” Alex unexpectedly joins the conversation. “Poli sci students are assholes.” 

| 

Daniel and Sebastian are put on the market duty for the day. Daniel doesn't mind, thankful for some alone time with the older man.

They walk around the market in silence for a while, Sebastian looking for asparagus and Daniel for some fruits. It's buzzing with life at this time and the smell of lavender is ever-present. Sebastian is the first to speak right after Daniel manages to buy the green apples that Max likes. Daniel thinks they are too sour. “What did he say about Beijing?” 

Daniel purses his lips. “He was very humble with the word count. More of a horrified-facial expression-situation,” 

Seb smirks. “He's going to talk to Jos about it, but I know he doesn't want to go.” Daniel feels his voice tightening and he coughs a little to clear it. 

“It would be a career suicide not to go,” 

Daniel puts on his sunglasses even though the sun is not directly above them just yet. “It's going to be a career suicide for him to go.” 

Sebastian stops by the stand with the asparagus, smiling winningly. “Max is still so young. He can wait a bit.” 

“I think, listen, just between us,” Daniel says in a hushed voice. “They are trying to get him into politics - again. And for the first time, it seems like he would consider it. He thinks he's doing a great job hiding it from me.” 

Sebastian hands him the asparagus he bought and doesn't grace Daniel's gossip with an answer.

“You know something.” Daniel accuses him after he stays quiet for just a bit too long. 

The blond just shrugs, says some French pleasantries to the merchant and turns to look at him. “Sorry, Daniel, you don't have clearance for that.” 

Daniel rolls his eyes and puckers his lips in an annoyed expression. “Yeah, you can fuck right off,” He looks at Seb's tanned hands, the ring-less fingers and shifts to an offense. “Any development in the tortured lovers saga?” 

“Well, funny you should ask. Yesterday,” Sebastian says with a small smile on his lips. “I told Charles I had feelings for him.” 

Daniel whips around so fast that he gets a whiplash. “What?” he yells out and immediately hears a low grumble in French. 

Sebastian has the nerve to just nod. 

“AND?” Daniel is so loud Sebastian shushes him, rolling his eyes. 

“He said he doesn't care,” he continues only after they move on to another stand, this one with strawberries.

“What?” Daniel mouths soundlessly, shocked. 

By now, Sebastian is blushing a bit. “He said he already knew I had feelings for him-” 

Daniel makes a sound but doesn't speak in fear of spooking Sebastian into silence. 

“But-” Seb sighs, observing the strawberries with the eye of a professional. “He doesn't care because he also knows I don't want to do anything about it. Said he could see I'd not decided to do anything about it and he wasn't interested in mind games. But he told me he would always say yes if I asked.” 

“Oh my god,” Daniel whispers like the gossip he is. “This is the most absurd thing I have ever heard!” he says nonsensically, realising it's not true at all. “How do you feel about that?” 

Sebastian stops in his tracks, thinking mutely for a second. “I'm happy. Really, really happy.” 

He smiles, handing the strawberries to Daniel, who takes them, not even trying to hide his astonishment. He can't wait to have a debrief about this with Max.

[the-iceni-bitch]

Hello, Natalie, my dear ♥️

For your sleepover: who is one babe that makes you cringe but others love? (Your unpopular opinion, if-you-will)

If you could only write for one character for an entire year, who would it be and why?

What are some fics from other blogs here that you reread?

You get to take a week-long trip anywhere in the world with no concern of expenses, where are you going and which fictional babe are you taking?

Thank you 😘

Carly!! 🥰🥰🥰

Gosh, I dunno if there’s anyone that really makes me cringe. Probably the closest thing to what you’re looking for is gonna be the iteration of Rockstar Bucky that looks like Seb as Tommy Lee, because I am not into that, at all 😂. I dunno if it’s just that I find none of the tattoos attractive or that horrible facial hair or what, but every time I see a photo of him with that look I make a stink face. @nix-akimbo has some really good edits that I use as my HC for rockstar Bucky.

Gee, only one character for a whole year? How can I possibly choose? Jk, it’s Ransom, shocking, I know 😂. I just know exactly where I want their relationship to go and am constantly have new ideas for them, so that’s gotta be the well I’m gonna be drawing from.

I have a bunch but I’m gonna keep it at 5.

Blood Play with Mr. Freezy by @ozarkthedog

This might be the fic that triggered my obsession with period fics, it’s filthy and dark and I love it

Riding Steve by @angrythingstarlight

Honestly, Star’s whole fucking masterlist is something I reread over and over whenever I’m in need of some me time, but this one is definitely a fave

Cucking Steve with Bucky by @sweeterthanthis

This one is so filthy and hot I can’t even take take it. Lau is a master of dirty talk and this does not disappoint. I can’t wait for when she posts the follow up because that’s supposedly gonna be even nastier.

Stevie Face Riding daddy!Bucky by @fandomfluffandfuck

Just, so much filthy dirty talk. The first time I read this my mind went offline for a solid half hour. Also, kinda made me realize that I am hella into feminization, so know that we may be incorporating that into some future fics.

Shoving panties in Bucky’s mouth by @howdoyousleep3

Again, dirty talk. I’ve been very much into reading our fave super soldiers together recently and this one is very good, 10/10.

And a weeklong trip anywhere? Probably going back to Iceland and if you think I’m not bringing my sweater wearing hoe husband with me I dunno what to tell you. Will this spoiled bastard just want to spend all our time in the hot springs and fucking at the hotel? Probably, but that’s fine with me. I can always steal a sweater and go on a couple of hikes by myself 😉

Love you babe, thanks so much for playing with me!!

Come join my 4K sleepover!!!

[mediocre-writerr]

brand new [nini salazar-roberts]

nini salazar-roberts x reader

requested: i would really like to read something for Marley or for Nini honestly don't have an exact idea yet but maybe for either of them something where the reader ends up helping them get over their ex or something like that

a/n: this is for an awesome supporter of mine @x--mccrew--x​ , i hope you enjoy and thank you so much for all of the support

*not my gif*

“Soooo...who’re you texting?” you ask.

You and your best friend Nini were lying on your bed. Her head laid on your stomach as you just lied there together in a comfortable silence. But Nini was smiling at her phone constantly texting someone. 

She smiled sheepishly, “Ricky. He really makes me happy.” 

You couldn’t help, but feel happy for your best friend. Her and Ricky have been pining after each other for as long as she could remember. But you’re happy with how this turned out. 

Unfortunately, your happiness turned into despair and anger when Ricky broke up with Nine on their one year anniversary. 

She ran to your house in a puddle of tears unsure of who to talk to or where to go. But you accepted her with open arms and a bunch of love.

“I told him I loved him and he left saying we need to take a break.” she sobs into you shirt. 

You held her close swaying her from side to side. In a sort of dancing way. You always watched when you were younger as her moms would sway her whenever she was upset. So you did it, in hopes that she would start feeling a little better.

“I’m sorry Nini. Let it all out, okay? It’s gonna be okay.” you whisper softly. 

Nini stayed at your house for the rest of the summer. You called her moms to update them and let them know you’re taking care of her the best you can. 

Your parents didn’t mind that Nini stayed for as long as she did. They adored her and thought that she was the best kid ever. 

You would bring up her dinner and play her favorite movies over and over again until it got embedded in your brain. Just so you can hear that beautiful laugh of hers and see the small smile that grazed over her face. 

The first couple of weeks were rough. You could barely get a smile out of her, but the more and more time went by she started to become the Nini you knew and love.

Not that you didn’t love her any less when she was sad. You always loved her for as long as you could remember.

“Thank you for letting me stay here the past month. I know that it was probably annoying taking care of me all the time.” Nini says as she takes a slice of the pizza you guys ordered.

You finished eating the bite you just put in your mouth before shaking your head, “No need to apologize. I don’t mind, I love having you around.”

She smiles sheepishly, “I just don’t want to go to school tomorrow and see him. I don’t think I’m ready for that.” 

“Well, I’m gonna be here for you every step of the way.” you say placing your hand on hers. 

“You’re too good to me.” she whispers, squeezing your hand back.

The Next Day At School

The two of you found yourself at her locker. You wanted to wait for her so she didn’t have to walk to class alone. Kourtney met up with both of you as you just talked about the past month.

“Feminism is all the rage now a days, we need to stand up for ourselves!” Kourtney says as we start walking to class.

Only to be met with the brown-eyed messy hair boy and his best friend, “Hey Big Red.” I say giving him a high five, “Ricky.” I add on with a stern nod.

“Woah scary Y/N.” Ricky mumbled, scratching the back of his neck.

“Nini, can we talk?” he asks, “Look I’m sorry, can we just start fresh?”

You three girls look at him incredulously, “Start fresh? Ricky I wrote you a song for our one year anniversary! I told you I loved you! And you walked out asking for a break! You wanted a break, right? Well it’s a break up.”

“Nini no!” Ricky exclaims, “We’re perfect for each other and I didn’t mean to just give me a chance to explain.”

Nini was taken aback and she didn’t know what else to say. She was frozen.

“Ricky,” you say stepping towards the brunette, “I think you’ve done enough. You’ve hurt her in more ways than you know. So take a step back and take a breather.”

He scoffed before storming off. Big Red gave an apologetic look before running after him.

“Are you okay?” you ask, rubbing your hands on her arms.

She nods softly, “I’ll be okay. Thank you.”

The rest of the month the two of you found yourselves growing closer and closer. Even though you were best friends when you were younger you got closer in a different way.

With convincing by Nini, you joined the school musical. You just helped out Big Red with the sound and tech stuff, but helping out no doubt. While Ricky stepped in and played Troy.

But all the time you and Nini spent together caused you to have a flutter in your stomach every time you see her. Wanting to kiss her every time she was near you. Or wanting to hold her hand when she hands you a simple piece of paper.

You kept all these feelings down. Nini was still pining after Ricky. And with him playing Troy and her playing Gabriella wit was bound to happen. Or so you thought.

“Kourt? I can’t just tell her! It could ruin everything!” Nini exclaims, dropping down on her dressing room chair.

“Neens...it won’t! Have you seen the way she looks at you? She looks at her like your entire world!” Kourtney tries to convince the brunette.

But that still wasn’t enough for Nini to grow the courage.

It was opening night and the two of you were in the dressing rooms, along with the rest of your new found family.

You stood behind her dressing room chair and squeezed both of her shoulders, “You okay?”

“Yes just a little jitters.” she replies, putting both of her hands on top of yours.

“Well I believe in you. If anyone can go out there and crush this. It’s you.” you respond.

She smiles at you, the two of you looking at each other through her mirror. The glances shared between you spilling all the words that are left unsaid.

“Nini? Can we talk?” Ricky asks, snapping the both of you out of your trance.

Nini clears her throat, “Uh yeah.” she says looking at him, “I’ll see you after the show?”

You nod forcing a smile, “Break a leg.”

The show goes off and finishes, there were a few bumps, but you were all still proud of how it turned out.

Most of the time though you were in more awe of Nini. The way she sang and the way she acted. It was mesmerizing.

Everyone ran backstage after the curtain ended. Adrenaline coursing through everyone’s bodies. You told everyone you ran into a ‘nice job!’, desperately trying to find Nini.

When you finally found her she was down the hall talking to Kourtney, “Nini!” you yelled.

Her eyes lit up and she bolted towards you. You had your arms wide open as she ran into you with full force. She wrapped her legs around your waist as you almost fell back at the impact.

“You were so good Neen!” you yell, squeezing her tightly.

“Thank you!” she says as you finally put her down onto the ground.

Yet your arms were still wrapped around each other. You didn’t realize how close your guys faces were until that very moment. The moment your heart skipped a beat.

The two of you continued to steal glances between each other’s eyes and lips. Neither of you knew what to do.

“JUST KISS ALREADY!!” many voices rang out through the hall.

You looked around to see Big Red, Kourtney, Gina, EJ, Ashlyn, Seb, and Carlos all looking at the two of you in anticipation.

“Well I think we need to give the audience what they want.” you say with a small smile on her face.

She nods, “Yeah I think we should.”

The two of you leaned into each other. The kiss was everything you dreamed of. She was soft and tasted of strawberry chapstick.

You took her chin in between your fingers when you pulled away. The two of you smiling like idiots.

[codename-mango]

My LITG S4 Wishlist/Ideas (Most of which I've seen other people mention)

Scheming LI - Tries to fake their way into winning. They ask you to act super into them so y'all can win. Fake Dating realness.

Single Parent - Exactly what it says on the tin. It could be a LI or not, but definitely complicate things with kid(s).

Boy Drama - Give me boys acting catty. It's feminism. /j

Another Mlm Couple - Tai x Ciaran is one of the best ideas of S3, I think it was underdeveloped. Y'know, like the rest of the season.

Lie Detector - Give this to us, please. It's so good for drama or bonding moments.

S/O Back Home - One of the Islanders has a significant other back home! And thought they could keep it a secret. (Optional: You can add this to Scheming LI.) New bombshells can reveal the information. Or...

GIVE US THE POD (I think that's what it's called) - I want characters to learn information they wouldn't learn otherwise. And befriending the character who received the info gives you a better chance at learning sooner. I want to see secret kisses, and private conversations.

Flexible Personality - You can tell FB wanted to do this in S2, but it definitely fell through. Let us decide whether we're out there and loud or reserved and quiet.

Reformed Fuckboi - They did this with Jakub, but can it be someone that people might reasonably go for? Hell, make it a girl.

Secret Routes - Honestly, I love the idea of certain things being done can unlock new events or routes. Basically Kassam but clear cut. It should be repeatable if you do the exact same things.

Recovering Alcoholic - I just think it would be interesting. Drinking is such a big part of Love Island, and I think this definitely opens up discussion of it. I think it's good that MC is given non-alcoholic options in S2, and maybe you can make that matter. Like, choosing the non-alcoholic options gives you hearts with the character, because then they're not the only one not drinking.

Returning Islander - I want a character from previous seasons to come back to compete again, as opposed to just being a cameo. I think the best options are Jen, Rocco, and Rohan. Deadass, I want to see Jen back, since she and Tim canonically broke up as of S3.

One of the Guys - I want a girl that genuinely gets along way better with the guys than the girls. We've had something similar in past seasons with a few girls, but I mean it. I want a girl that struggles to get along with the girls, not because she "can't do anything right" (like Priya), but because she can't talk to them like she can guys. (You can make her a LI, and she finds talking to MC easier than anything else. Also I just relate to this hypothetical character.)

Compelling Relationships - I want to feel conflicted about going after certain LIs. I want something like Seb and Genevieve (but, again, better executed). I want to feel like other relationships are just too good to break up.

Slowburn Girl LI - Hear me out... A girl who's never considered being with a girl before, but finds herself falling for MC over the course of her route. You can't be pushy or overly flirty with her in the beginning. I don't think her route should trigger until you've built a good friendship with her.

Anyway that's my list! Let me know what you think of any of them, and what you'd add!

[lilah80]

Rules: Tag 6 users you want to get to know better!

I was tagged by @liz-the-lemur​, who has comforted me in these trying times with pictures of Seb Stan and dogs.

-Current job/Dream job? I am a magazine editor who tries to make lawyers be nice to each other. My dream job is my bestie @amethodistandasonofabitch​ and I being paid to make vlogs in which we school people about their bad life choices while making a craft.

-What are you talented at? Solidly decent at every craft I’ve ever tried. Can hold conversations with pretty much everyone and make people feel at ease. I have an excellent memory for stories, a less excellent memory for names and numbers. I bat .970 at making babies smile at me. I can assemble Ikea furniture solo. My bar trick is being able to balance coins on their edges.

-What is a big goal you are working towards? I am trying to buy a house like a for-real grownup and I think it’s going well? But honestly I’m not 100% sure, because I have trouble focusing when people describe timelines to me. I think it’s on track? There were inspections and stuff?

-What is your aesthetic? Soft innards and hard edges.

-Do you collect anything? Art I always mean to frame but don’t get around to; books; pet fur dustbunnies (unintentional).

-What is a topic you are always up to talk about? Pandemics, military history, Hogwarts Houses, agricultural sciences, true crime, feminism, Dolly Parton.

-What is a pet peeve of yours?  Inconsequential chitchat during work phone calls. Just say what you want and let’s get this thing knocked out.

-Good Advice to Give? Always stay hydrated when you’re shopping or you’ll make poor purchasing decisions.

-Recommend three songs? This is always impossible for me unless I make the criteria really narrow, so I’m going to recommend three songs by the same artist, Sarah Harmer, representing three periods of my life. Basement Apt., for my teen years/college; Almost, for my 20s; and Oleander, for my 30s.

Tagging @hateandpancakes, @magog83, @chilliad, @amethodistandasonofabitch, @baking-soda, @enfin. As always, totally optional for you to follow through!

[jcmorgenstern]

Rambly not-review of QOAAD

Lol so tumblr is on fire and so am I so here’s Some Thoughts on QOAAD, mostly about the not-crispy boy, not as annoying and bitter as I usually am:

Bottom line: CC did right by me, y’all. Whether or not she did right by everyone else I can’t really say, but half of the time reading this book I felt she was catering to me personally, and y’all know how esoteric ‘catering to me personally’ is. There is some Wild Fuckening Shit in this book, and I for the most part loved it. A lot of my old gripes still apply, but tbh? for a kid’s book CC has really delivered some absolute gems and as critical as I often am, I really enjoyed reading this book.

Spoilers for the entire TDA trilogy, especially QOAAD, below.

Okay so for those of y’all who have read the book: let’s just get that whole thing out of the way. Yes she did in fact write three chapters of an AU where Sebastian won, is shacking up with a deeply unhappy Jace, and yes, I did in fact die irl. Like honestly I understand that’s problematic, and that the whole situation was about as fucked up as it gets, but honestly? I don’t give a shit. I was Thriving and even though I had to read Seb’s dumb ass dying again it was totally worth it 10/10.

Also Ash? Dark Jace? Biggest nut.

Basically, my criteria for liking the book were: (1) Ash can’t be a carbon-copy of Sebastian (2) Kieran doesn’t die and gets with Mark/Cristina (3) Diana and Gwyn stay together and (4) Kit and Ty keep being adorable. Bonus points were for (1) Dru and Ash interaction (2) more Dru content in general (3) Aline and Helen (4) that hint of Sebastian content she kept teasing that I never believed would actually materialize and (5) Julian and Emma breaking up so I never had to read another word about their “true love” at age 16 ever again (I’m a bitter asshole).

I honestly expected to get pretty much none of these and I was shocked to get everything except (5) from the list and so much more. So without further ado:

The whole Thule thing was a lot, tbh, starting with Maryse’s execution (I won’t lie, when Sebastian says “I killed my mother for Jace, and now he can return the favor” my dumb ass did in fact squeal out loud in a public bookstore) and ending with Sebastian’s really, really, really bad parenting skills. As a side note, the show must have had an advance copy of the book, because you may recognize the song little Jace sings with Izzy in....whatever episode they go into Jace’s head as the song Maryse sings before she dies. As far as I recall, that hasn’t been mentioned before (as well as the Malachi Configuration) so clearly the show got confused with the book release date. I’m sure that made CC very happy.

Like honestly Thule!Seb is just COHF!Seb taken up to 11, which is honestly a terrifying and hilarious thought, complete with a still-kicking designer clothes fetish and an inability to dream up a setting that isn’t a club. Sebastian’s designer suit fetish never really made much sense to me in terms of his personality--it always seems to remind me that I am, in essence, reading The Draco Trilogy with the names changed. But there are a lot of little details that recall COLS, which is always a plus for me, but also seem to indicate that he’s never really progressed or ‘matured’ beyond that. The return to the club setting as a callback to club in COLS, dressing Jace like a paper doll. While Thule itself is an imaginative setting, Sebastian’s presentation and behavior hasn’t changed at all, which shows that ultimately CC’s view of him is one of being completely static and inhuman.

I always really hated that, but here it works--it gives the impression that even though he’s won and destroyed the world, he’s living in the past, attempting to recreate COLS best he can. That mind-controlling Jace, going for a romantic murder or two with him, and chatting with Clary about how much she hates him is the happiest he’s been, the closest thing to family he can conceive of.  I think one of the most fucked up parts of COLS, and one of my favorites, is that the Magic House is a darkly genteel reflection of the warped view of family Valentine has, that Sebastian has symbolically completed.

Valentine’s wardrobe full of clothes he’s bought for Jocelyn for “when she returns,” all with the tags still on, is possibly the most chilling part of the entire book. He views his family--Jocelyn, Jace, Clary, as a thing to accomplish, to control, to collect and arrange in a seemly manner. He truly seems to think, or at least want to believe, that after he’s destroyed the entire downworld and the entire shadowworld government that they can all go play happy families. That his family would want to play happy families with him, or even be anywhere near him. It’s both terrifyingly cruel and self-aware and completely naïve, that he believes he can make his family love him, or at least pretend.

It’s that same mindset that Sebastian inherits--“I will bend him to my will and teach my sister to love me” pretty much sums it up, although he manages to be a bit more petulant about it. Although he seems to emphatically reject Valentine, he’s become Valentine, inherited his sword, his ring, his creepy shrine-to-Jocelyn house and his mindset and view of family. The same entitlement and sense of ownership Valentine displays to Jocelyn (and in a different way, Jace), Sebastian shows to Clary (and again, to Jace).

Valentine never saw his “vision” through, but Sebastian symbolically completes his father’s vision of their family, not as a son but by becoming his father, and Clary her mother. CC emphasizes and repeats this over and over, how Clary looks like her mother and Sebastian like his father, exactly like his father. Sister Magdalena even comments on it (“Why, you look just like your parents,” when Clary expects her to comment on their difference or wonder why Clary is in the company of a murderer). One can suppose that given his feelings towards Valentine and how he always resented Valentine’s lack of approval towards him, Sebastian craves “love” more than anything--or at least, his conception of love, which we all can agree is pretty fucked up. The completion of the “family” is thus probably what Sebastian sees as fulfilling, that control and coercion is as close to love and belonging as he can understand, or that he’s experienced.

There’s a very interesting sense in which in creating the Endarkened and going on a path of world destruction, Sebastian himself loses all sense of self or free will. It always bothered me that Lilith’s blood is used to abnegate free will in the Endarkened when Lilith herself is often interpreted as a symbol of free will (and feminism--that’s a rant for another day). But there is very much a sense that the Battle of Burren is Sebastian’s moral event horizon, that in trying to rape Clary or force all free will out of her and others he cements himself as ultimately irredeemable. I’ve often complained that his motivation for destroying the world is...well, non-existent, but in a sense it reflects an erosion of person-hood, that he is less a person in himself with his own self-directed wants and goals than a shadow or echo of Valentine embracing senseless (demonic?) destruction.

I know I’m going completely off the deep end, but I recently studied Milton and although it seems pretty clear that CC is more a Virgilian than a Miltonist (tbh I really don’t think she’s read Paradise Lost because if she had, she wouldn’t stop quoting it), Milton’s conception of Lucifer is really a prototype here. One reading of Satan in PL is that the personified Sin and Death (his “offspring” so to speak) are really just solipsistic echoes of himself and his hubris, and I think there’s a very interesting sense in which Sebastian could be read in a similar way to Valentine. In many respects, to me, Jonathan represents a sum of Valentine’s greatest sins--bigotry, hatred, cruelty, pride, and really bad use of the experimental method.

I get the impression that CC struggled with Seb’s characterization in COHF, and in large part that’s because he has no character, no motivation beyond destruction and a certain rapaciousness towards Clary. As I’ve derisively said before, wanting to fuck your sister is not a sound core personality motivation for a character. The way he’s written in the books, there’s not a lot of poignancy in his character, and although people do seem to feel sympathy for “green eyed Jonathan” (uwu), he doesn’t really exist any more than Sebastian does. Although CC claims through Clary that Sebastian wants to destroy the world to make it something that can love him, what she misses is that Sebastian in COHF is not really a character but an Endarkened version of himself--a shadow. He doesn’t seem to be much of anything.

Thule is the result of that hollow destruction, an Endarkened shadow of canon, and for that reason it completes COHF in that we truly see what CC means when she says there wasn’t enough good in him left for him to live--what I think she could also mean is that there isn’t enough of Jonathan left, or there never was. Valentine aborts his development (in...many ways: stay tuned for reports from the frontlines of developmental psychopathology, which I am taking) and what’s left is a solipsistic reflection or echo not of Jonathan’s demonic parentage but of his human father. And there’s something understatedly tragic about that cycle coming to a close with Ash, with Sebastian behaving the same way towards his son as his father did to him--with callousness and a desire to exploit. CC explicitly calls this possessive, which is of course a callback to how he treats Clary, but I think he’s more reflecting the father role he inherited from Valentine.

And Ash closes that cycle by killing Sebastian--just as, I would argue, that Sebastian in some sense wanted to kill Valentine. More and more I’ve been leaning towards a reading (and I hope with absolutely no confidence that the show leans towards this reading as well) where Sebastian’s obsession with Clary is at least partly due to the fact that she has done the thing that would symbolically complete him--kill Valentine. Sebastian hasn’t killed Valentine, literally or symbolically, and the cycle repeats; in this way, Ash as a Morgenstern takes more after Clary than he does his father.

Is this edgy, pseudo-academic, piss-poor, completely incoherent bullshit? Absolutely. The point is, god is dead and if I want to compare Paradise Lost, one of the eminent works of the English canon to a YA series based on fanfiction I can. Also, Thule may suck but Sebastian did canonically destroy the world financial system so is he really that bad? (Yes).