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simplyolivers · 6 years

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( ooc: so i literally put the every single one of the lyrics under the cut so if you’re trying to read this i’m so sorry also i’m too lazy to make a cover soooooo p.s. greg is what neptune call his fans k bye ) today neptune bentley, known as his youtube rap alias of ‘young face’, in a comedy ep called, [ title of album ]

i. spooky boy: ( based on neptune’s love of halloween & slightly dedicated to @elvvce & @ofcmargos‘s show ) boo bitch, you just got spooked (ayy) by a certified spooky ass dude (ayy) somebody let the monster loose in a graveyard sippin’ pumpkin juice wait (shh) do you hear that sound? every october it’s so profound all these other dudes act spooky for a month but a real spooky boy spooky all year ‘round plastic fangs on my teeth, sleeping in a coffin step up to all my cribs and all these decorations poppin’ i might go ooga booga booga boo i might just spook you and your homies too i’m just so spooky and greg is my crew (yeah) ayy, i’m a spooky boy ayy, with some spooky hands ayy, come up in your house and do a little spooky dance ayy, i’m a spooky boy, with a spooky face ayy it don’t matter i’ll spook at any time or place chillin’ with a skeleton, bitch, and a pumpkin on my head if you try to spook me you gon’ end up dead if you spook me again you gon’ end up undead (uh) that’s the life of the spooky boy better watch out if you see a full moon bitch yeah, i’ve been spooky like a mummy in a tomb bitch i don’t have a car because i fly on a broomstick pull up to the club, skrrt skrrt vroom vroom witch go to girls and they hella hella thin how thin are they? are they motherfucking skeletons? that is not a joke about their weight, they are skeletons Halloween music got us jigglin' like gelatin got a couch covered in cobwebs (cobwebs) got a whip covered in cobwebs (cobwebs) got a dog covered in cobwebs (cobwebs) spent way too much on cobwebs (ayy) fake spooky dudes suck like Dracula i don’t give a damn if you a goblin you can back it up ghouls get crazy while i blow this cash, if you tryna monster smash ayy, I'm a spooky boy ayy, with some spooky knees ayy, I could teach you how to spook too for a spooky fee ayy, I'm a spooky boy ayy, with some spooky shoes ayy, and before this song is over you'll be spooky too chillin’ with a skeleton, bitch, and a pumpkin on my head if you try to spook me you gon’ end up dead if you spook me again you gon’ end up undead (uh) that’s the life of the spooky boy

ii. beef with me: ( songs about people who start fake drama on yt for views ) ay, scrolling all day like I do (like I do) trying to see what's popping on the tube (youtube, ay) checking up on logan paul, too you know I'm not a maverick, that's true wait, what is this? jake paul, diss track logan paul, diss track ricegum, diss track all getting millions of views at first I'm like "what the fuck's up with these dudes?" 'till I saw they were getting views like cheap receipts I know that I'm an all around really nice guy but why nobody want to beef with me? I see this other guys roasting each other and raking in views the channels are flourishing so if you think I'd get mad if you roasted me I can endure it, man, I would encourage it, honestly all I want is them views original content's old news that shit makes me snooze start beef with me, you can't lose, ay someone come beef with me someone come beef with me somebody who has a whole lot of subscribers please come and beef with me, uh someone come beef with me someone come beef with me my ego is fragile and you will destroy me if you come and beef with me I can send you a list of things I'm self-conscious about anything is fair game except for my feet ay, I could roast your vids, yeah you could roast my clothes, ay I could roast your diss track you could roast my nose you could write a whole song 'bout what I look like starting beef for views the oldest trick in the book, like trick is older than the sphynx come and roast me 'cause my content stinks I want a lot of views on YouTube I'm gonna need a long beef like sausage links I can pretend that you kidnapped my dog you can pretend that I beat up your mom we can pretend the police got involved we gon' be dropping this drama like bombs, ay someone come beef with me someone come beef with me somebody who has a whole lot of subscribers please come and beef with me, uh someone come beef with me someone come beef with me my ego is fragile and you will destroy me if you come and beef with me

iii. hop out the whip ( songs about people who ‘flex’ on yt ) skrtt! yeah, Tesla, Benz what do y'all know about hopping out of $300,000 cars? hop out the whip hop back in (yeah) hop out the whip (ooh!) that's my shit (yeah!) talk about look at the look in your eyes when I hop out of the Porsche hop out the Benz, hop out the Beamer, bitch I ain't got open the doors and I got a bad lil mama (lil mama!) she wanna go for a ride jokes on her, I'm only fourteen years old I do not know how to drive we just be sittin' in the car we just be sittin' in the whip I might hop right out right before I hop back in I've been working on my squats I've been working on my sprints I got a tramp in the garage, I bought brand new kicks so I can hop out the whip hop back in (hop back in!) hop out the whip (hop out the whip!) that's my shit (yeah!) hop out the whip (hop out the whip y'all!) hop back in hop out the whip (hop out the whip!) ooh, that's my shit this whippin' is serious (serious) it ain't even funny (nah) these bitches be buggin' (buggin', buggin', buggin', buggin') I just stay hopping like bunnies covered in carrots, what's up doc, can you look at my hip? I didn't take care of myself, I think I dislocated it when I hopped in the whip doin' tricks in the whip, 360 degrees in a flip going up to the highdive and diving this shit going up in a plane and skydiving in this and when I land we're highfiving I bet it did have a roof but it doesn't no more I put it away like I'm doing some chores now I can hop in and out of the whip 'til I figure out how to open the doors hop out the whip (hop out the whip) hop back in (hop back in) hop out the whip (hop out the whip!) that's my shit, yeah hop out the whip (Hop out the whip!) hop back in (yeah, hop back in) hop out the whip (yeah, yeah) ooh, that's my shit (yuh!) can someone please tell me how to open the goddamn doors to this car game's over for y'all when I get my license, learn how to drive

iv. greg ( mostly for his fans but also for tom holland ) greg is the number one fanbase we livin' life in the fast lane we just hit 21 mil (ooh) time to pop open the champagne if you ain't Greg, that's lame greg is a beast that you can't tame greg takin' over the rap game greg is logan paul's dad's name greg takin' off but these other dudes stalling greg full sprint but these other dudes crawling greg is hot on the court, we balling greg is hot on the web, Tom Holland number one Spiderman, hands down bitch talk about casting, such a great fit andrew Garfield still ain't shit toby maguire, you are not lit greg is a family, don't forget I would do anything for my gregs strongest army on the net fastest growing, please don't check greg is destroying, man, Greg is a winner greg is just eatin' up YouTube for dinner tom holland please, dm me on Twitter greg is a savage, man, greg is a killer haters are riding the wave (yeah) hoping that Greg will fall off (ooh) they say I got a young face (aye) just like Tom Holland, he's hot (uh) have you even seen his abs? (uh) I bet his skin is so soft (uh) greg is the realest on earth just in case all y'all forgot I am truly greg, greg is all I need I don't fuck with craigs, they can kiss my knees we are a movement, you cannot divide us i'm Mr. Worldwide pitbull come and fight us

v. spooky guy ( another song based on @elvvce & @ofcmargos‘s show? looks like it ) boo bitch, spooky boy's back ay, with the brand new spooky boy track waited all year for a chance to attack aside from orange I’m wearing all black not a treat but I got some tricks not a gang member but i live in crypts bright orbs in the background to all my pics you can call me drake 'cause I'm from that 6(66) (yuh) if you see me you better run outside, yeah you could be jekyll but you still couldn’t hyde, yeah spook ya then i'll eat some pumpkin pie and apple cida' hannibal lecter how i eat the track alive, yeah I'm a spooky guy I will never stop spookin' 'till the day I die I waited all year just so y'all would wanna see me now all these fake spooky guys wanna be me I ain't sippin’ lean, nah and I ain’t poppin' xans, yuh only poppin’ I do is to spook you and your friends, yuh poppin' out the casket then I do my spooky dance, yuh I do it for the spook, give a fuck if it offends ya make spooky boys do the most, ay new whip looking like a ghost, ay new boo looking like a ghost, yuh cause she died three years ago, ohh that shit was really sad (yeahhh) and it was all over the news (spooked to death) and the only way I had to cope was a whole lotta booze (boo! boo!) spook you into a coma then I'll spook your ass out my spooking is advanced y'all still tryna learn how I can teach you how to spook for the right amount I’m dracula these witches going down for the count 'cause I'm a spooky dude and I will spook you every day, even if it's rude I waited all year just so y'all would wanna see me now all these fake spooky guys wanna be me I ain't sippin' lean, nah and I ain't poppin' xans, yuh only poppin' I do is to spook you and your friends, yuh poppin' out the casket then I do my spooky dance, yuh I do it for the spook, give a fuck if it offends ya

#this took t o o long????#long post #i'm sorry if you read all of this #♡━━ career { it's enough to drive you crazy if you let it }

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biomic · 6 years

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2014federalbudget replied to your post: 2014federalbudget replied to your post: i love the...

hmm unfortunately i enjoyed both of his shows ive already watched so i am tempted

2014federalbudget replied to your post: 2014federalbudget replied to your post: i love the...

has he got any other shows you’d recommend?

kiva and faiz are the one’s you’ve seen right? if you came out of kiva liking it (good taste btw) then i think you’d be able to handle jetman. the love triangle has a lot of issues but it’s not as frustrating as the whole otoya/yuri/jiro plotline was. im biased because jetman was my second sentai but it has a lot of classic goofy sentai episodes and it invented Heated Drama Between Men and i swoon every time commander aya odagiri’s onscreen

kamen rider agito is like the one inoue show that most people agree on is Genuinely Good. a lot of tropes that he overuses (misunderstandings and miscommunication, the obnoxious ladies man, etc.) are absent so it’s refreshing in comparison to his other stuff. the plot’s very engaging and all the characters are charming and you’ll cry when [redacted] gets a puppy

there’s choukou senshi changerion, where every single second feels like a nonsensical fever dream that’s more bizarre than the last and while i can’t call it a great show i still want everyone to experience

and then there’s cutie honey the live, which is honestly my favorite toku in general but it can be kinda hard to recommend. like all iterations of cutie honey it’s centered around fanservice so ymmv on how much of that you can put up with (the first episode is especially gratuitous unfortunately), the main dude kinda sucks, and generally there’s a good chunk of jokes/scenes that just make you go :/ throughout

but all three main girls are great (it’s inoue’s best character writing imo), other than the typical go nagai fanservice jokes the show is really funny, and it’s the only toku show i can think of with multiple lesbian characters who aren’t one-off monsters like in garo. one’s a horny villain and the secondary hero is only implied to be gay so it’s not exactly ideal gay representation but i was still invested in their stories. honey/miki is the realest red/blue ship in toku and also the realest thing inoue’s ever written

#i wrote too much but that's the inoue rundown #2014federalbudget #kendrix morgan died for our sins #kamen rider for ts #super sentai for ts #changerion for ts #cutie honey for ts

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woohooligancomics · 7 years

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Webcomic Whimsy: Tales of Midgard

Welcome to the Woohooligan Weekly Webcomic Whimsy! I've given a couple of interviews in the past, but this is my first experience with reviewing. If you have any suggestions for improvements, feel free to leave a note. If you're a webcomic author and would like a review, you can see my announcement and review rules here.

Title: Tales of Midgard: the Age of Magic

Writer: Attila Polyák • About

Illustrator: Erzsébet Schlett aka Lizbeth von Rabbit • About • Patreon

Site: TalesOfMidgard.com • Facebook

Genres: Action/Adventure, Fantasy, Medieval, Middle Ages, Victorian, Anacronism

Rating: PG, T for Teen - some language

Updates: Every Weekday (Mon-Fri) - (used to be full chapters in 3-week intervals)

Synopsis: (from TalesOfMidgard.com) - Tales of Midgard is a collection of fantasy stories, mostly comics, set in the world of Midgard, which is not the same as in Norse mythology, but if you are vigilant enough you’ll find a reference or two here and there. While all stories are set in the same world, the actual settings for each individual tale varies a lot. Depending on the time and age of a story, the settings of some might be more modern than others. The “main” storyline, titled The Age of Magic, will be about the adventures of a young knight named Anne White.

As the authors described, Tales of Midgard contains very little reference to Norse Myth (despite the title), and in the long-run it reminds me a lot less of mythology and more of some sessions of Dungeons and Dragons. I managed to read a little more than the first two out of nine chapters, and while magic is mentioned with frequency, it's rarely seen (that may change in later chapters). What seemed much more common than the appearance of magic however was the appearance of modern ideas and inventions; trains, newspapers, democracy, modern capitalism with beauracratic corporations. From what I can tell, there are even approximations of "cell phones" and "the Internet". The main charater, Anne, is a knight, except that the title would be a misnomer in our world, since she works for a corporation instead of a monarch and her first two jobs are both illegal "smash and grab" operations. In our world, her title would be "mercenary". As a side note, the term "freelancer" originates from an old military term for mercenaries, "free lance" (that of course you pay for, after all, it's "free"). Anne is also a mage, although the first two chapters only show her working any magic once and very briefly. If you replaced swords with firearms and "info boxes" with flash-drives, this would almost be a modern action story.

I had a really difficult time deciding on the first image to display here. I wanted it to be either the best page I could find or the page most representative of the story as a whole... but I couldn't seem to find either of those, so I opted to use the first page. The difficulty finding a single page to represent the series is that the individual pages vary so wildly. I'll find a page that includes representative dialogue, but the art shows backs of heads, and then I'll find a page with better art, but it's a splash page with little to no dialogue or narration and it tells you virtually nothing about the story.

The story opens with Anne and Erik planning their first job, stealing an "info box" from several guards who are carrying it through the city of Kessheim. These are the kinds of planning sessions I remember from a slew of tabletop roleplaying games over the years. In a game session, this is part of the fun of the game, although I'm not sure it adds much to the comic. In some of the scripts for Return of the Jedi, the film included some planning scenes, explaining how the heroes would get Lando Calrissian, Leia and the droids into position inside Jaba's Palace before the ultimate rescue of Solo. Lucas cut those scenes because in the long run it was felt that they eliminated a number of surprises that made the film more enjoyable.

This is only the eighth review I've written, and already "focus on your pacing" is becoming a frequent refrain from me. It seems like pacing the story is one of the things that challenges most webcomic authors. The first couple chapters of Tales of Midgard tends to vassilate between pages with a lot of text, and splash pages with little or no information. A lot of text on a page can be forgiven sometimes if a situation really calls for it (lord knows that's something I've struggled with), however this story has a lot of pages where the extra verbiage that's added isn't delivering any new information. Splash pages can be great when properly and sparingly used to punctuate dramatic reveals and action sequences, however, several of the splash pages in Tales of Midgard seem to be splash for splash sake (or in Latin, splish pro splash es gratia). The page above is the second page of content, opening the story with two pages of Anne and Erik discussing the plan for their first job. The second page doesn't reveal much about it, just that Erik wants more reconnaissance and that he suspects it will reveal a more challenging task ahead. And then the third page is a splash page, just for Anne to repeat that she's preparing for the job (she already said so), while striking a heroic pose.

Heroic!

I'm ribbing them a little here, but this isn't really a huge problem. I'm just pointing out that the above page could have been entirely left out and nobody would have noticed, and that the first two pages of planning could have been one page with a little more editing. The opening dialogue for example reads: "Seems like we still have about an hour. Let's revise our plan, and after that I'm off to prepare for plan B." If this were a script for a movie or a TV show that might be fine, but in a comic you have to remember that dialogue can take up a lot of realestate on the page. That line could have read: "We have about an hour to revise our plan before I prepare for plan B." And that's before you consider the elements that aren't necessary because they're mentioned elsehwere in the script. It really could have been "we have an hour to revise our plan." ... Or in retrospect it could have been dropped entirely, since the reader doesn't need to know how long they're planning, just that they are, which is apparent from the rest of the art and script on that page.

Also, paring the script down would help the artist, who inevitably has to spend more time working on the comic than a writer does. Liz had to fit in a splash page, plus five panels for a minimal portion of the story. If the script had been pared down to fit onto one page, that could have been two to three, maybe four panels of art. I'm sure that would have been easier for Liz.

It turns out Erik's suspicions were right, the job will be harder than they thought.

There are two more pages of planning (a total of six) before the job starts. The pacing on the first page of the job is better, although I think the art jumps the gun on exclamation points and burst lines (I can't remember the western term for that effect). There's not been any action yet, this is still the "suspense" portion, leading up to the action. I would have used just two panels - the first with Anne entering and the second seeing the guards carrying the box with "there they are," and a background. As I said before about the pacing, these aren't huge problems, just areas that could use some polish.

Even here I'm not convinced we're quite ready for the dramatic splash page yet, although it makes a lot more sense on this page where she snatches the box than it did during the planning phase.

Honestly, I think the three bumbling guards turning into the Three Stooges is kind of a nice touch.

If I were writing, I might have started the entire story on the last panel of that page, with the guards already chasing Anne. All that talk of running down streets, and how many guards there were, and "plan B" could easily have been part of the narration during the chase. In fact most of it is repeated in the chase narration anyway, making most of those planning pages redundant. Starting here would have gotten the reader into the thick of the action straight away (just like the opening scene of Star Wars IV: A New Hope) and probably done a better job of holding people's attention.

The first "magiknight" appears right away, you can see him behind the other three guards in the last panel of the previous page. Anne confirms that's what he is on the following page after he's overtaken the regular guards and is gaining on her. The second magiknight appears immediately after and oddly decides on a WWE wrestling move instead of the kind of thing you'd expect from someone in full-plate armor... or a spell (remember, he's also supposed to be a mage).

But the most shocking thing on that page was the democracy! SHOCKING! Remember, peasants, the King needs your vote! Again, I kid, although it is another part of the overall theme of this world being modern day with a veneer of medieval or renaissance themes. That's the kind of atmosphere that I've found a lot in D&D or other roleplaying games because the players are never historical scholars and I suspect even for them, it's hard to put yourself in the shoes of someone who lived even sixty years ago, much less several centuries.

After Anne avoids the first body-slam, the third magiknight appears immediately, following a page of Anne wondering where they are, and showing a map of her run up to this point. (The map doesn't seem necessary.) Throughout the entire chase, the third magiknight is the only one to talk, and then only to call Anne a bitch (rather than "halt" or alerting the other guards).

(EDIT: I was wrong! I forgot the last magiknight makes the comment "what are you" when Anne stands up after he knocked her down.)

I suppose I should point out that most of the first chapter is the chase with a lot of jumping and swordplay. Although if Tales of Midgard is going to be an action/adventure story with a lot of fighting like this, Liz should probably brush up a little more on drawing action sequences. This one is probably the worst and I might not have pointed it out here except that it looks less like Anne is expertly dodging a sword than she is expertly dodging a giant penis.

Like I said, most of her illustration is better... although the page immediately following this sword swing is another weirdly placed splash-page.

My penis can shatter stone!

If there were a splash page in that sequence, I think it would have been better used on Anne's dodging the blade than on the aftermath of the miss.

And that's followed by a carriage that appears to be in the Matrix Loading Program instead of the street.

Anne gets past the carriage and points out that all the maginkights so far have been "brutes with no speed or accuracy". These guys are mages? Working in service of the monarch? It does get more difficult as there are now two of them ahead of Anne, which she expertly dodges again. (Plus, there's that background that was missing behind the carriage.)

The very last magiknight appears to have a fighting style that involves constantly being off-balance and occasionally presenting his back to his enemies.

He does eventually land a blow against Anne on another splash page (and a good place for one), although the art is rather confusing... I couldn't really tell what was happening here.

Apparently she blocked the blow, but was knocked back into some barrels (empty?) that broke open. The magiknight is amazed that she's able to stand after taking the knock, although I'm not sure that explains why he didn't have time to catch her.

So Anne is able to get to the water-mill for her much hyped "plan B".

Which turns out to be jumping from a high window into the river while wearing plate armor.

And then it's time for a recap from the magiknights. I'm not sure why their dialogue is suddenly an ominous white-on-black.

Also, many of these balloon tails are confusing, and black on a dark background doesn't help.

When Anne comes up from the water, we get our only glimpse of magic in the first two chapters. How many magiknights was that? Eight of them? And not ONE spell between them? Was the wrestling leap a spell?

The second chapter opens with our first real glimpse of the anachronisms; a train.

And another couple anachronisms; a newspaper and the Grand Archives, which from context sounds a lot like the Internet. A little work on the composition of that first frame could have allowed us to see Erik's head and fixed the problem with the dialogue that's causing those parts that don't have full balloons. (Although to be honest, I think full balloons could have been used there without causing any problems. They're done that way to reveal parts of Anne's armor that aren't necessary to understand the story.)

Oh, and a third anachronism in that page also; the corporate bureacracy of the Dyrian Knights Order. Magic is also treated in this modern way, with the characters discussing "units of magic energy" as often happens in roleplaying games.

I understand that there's a goal of showing the height difference between Anne and Erik on this next page, however, with a little work on the composition, that can be done without cutting off his head in the third panel. The first panel showing the stairs and the delivery sign isn't necessary. The second panel should have been in profile so we could see all three of the people speaking. And in the last two panels, Erik could be standing more behind her so that their heads are side-by-side in the shot, allowing you to get those two panels side-by-side instead of above-and-below.

The silent disagreement between Anne and Erik is a classic trope and a well placed joke. Nicely done.

The dialogue balloons didn't have to cut into Erik's head in the 2nd panel - you could have used the extra whites-space in the lower-left corner where nothing's going on. In general, don't cut into a character's head if you can avoid it.

"That's what I'm afraid of" is another classic trope, and I would say it's a fairly well placed joke. I'm personally nonplussed by the fact that it's perpetuating the negative stereotype of women as spending their money frivolously.

Honestly I think the backgrounds are sometimes the better illustrations. Although those lamp-posts and buildings look pretty modern. There's a lot of glass for even a rennaissance period and especially the top of the building in the back of the second panel looks like a modern office building. I suppose the lamp-posts could still be oil-based rather than electric, but the design aesthetic just looks really modern to me. To be honest that clothing looks pretty modern too.

This is the point at which Erik starts second-guessing the job they just finished. He brings up some of the things I was already thinking during the chase in the first chapter.

And now the lettering starts getting weirder. We see a bunch of places where dialogue balloons follow unnatural right-to-left reading paths and a few other issues that make it hard to know which block to read next, who's speaking, etc. Many of these problems could be resolved by pruning the script (like I mentioned before), improving the panel choices, composition and character placement. This page is crowded but not the worst to read.

Pardon me for a moment while I nerd-out on writing dialogue... If you write comics yourself you might find this interesting, otherwise, skip down.

I would have simply trimmed a lot of this writing.

In the first panel, for example:

Anne: Hey Erik! What's up.

Erik: I booked passage on the August Albatross tomorrow morning.

Anne: The expensive cruiser from Dyr to Ilial?

Erik: That's the one.

That's genuinely all the information that's relevant for the reader in this first panel. Having "everything we need" until they get home should be assumed -- the only time it should be mentioned is if they lack things or there's a question about resources. The second panel runs dialogue balloons for Anne and Erik together, which was probably an oversight, since I saw that same thing fixed on a later page.

Also, the rest of the page:

Anne: Woohoo! That'll be great!

Erik: Hope so. Also, Sir Alvis wants that yearly report as soon as we reach Dyr.

Anne: Uhh... Thanks.

Erik: You've got enough cash, you should fix your orb if you don't replace it.

Anne: Yeah, I can totally afford a new one. Good night.

Erik: 'Night.

On the next page, nice backgrounds with street-lamps that definitely look electric, since they hang down from above. Dialogue balloons in the 2nd panel that are round like they're spoken? But she's alone, and the balloons in the previous panel were cloud-formed thought balloons... but neither of them have any tails, and using the bubble-tails for both would have clarified that they're all thought balloons, whether cloud-shaped or not... but they really should be one way or the other, not both. If thoughts are cloud-formed, they should always be cloud-formed to avoid confusion. Also, when balloons are separated on a wide panel like this, left-to-right takes precedence over top-to-bottom, so the text in these balloons is in the wrong order.

More nice backgrounds the next morning. Some of the water on this page is particularly nice. And then the beginning of dialogue balloons that run the wrong direction (right-to-left), which could have been easily avoided by placing Anne on the left and Erik on the right while they're sitting there on the dock.

These dialogue ballons run the wrong direction again and again.

There's a couple of pages of elegance on the Albatross before they arrive in Dyr. Stepping off the ship, it becomes apparent that the "orbs" are cell-phones, and they even ring like a telephones. It turns out a few pages later that Anne and Erik's second assignment is stealing back the "info box" (flash drive) they stole in the first chapter. D'oh! Personally I feel like the plot ought to have started developing this kind of complexity at least in the second chapter if not by the end of the first, but as I've said, these pacing issues are pretty easily resolved.

I realize that I've offered a lot of criticism of the trade-craft of comic making here, however, those are all minor and to be honest easily resolved issues. I think this story has a lot of promise, it just needs some cleaning up. If you enjoy fantasy stories with roleplaying-game-styled anachronisms, it's worth a look at Tales of Midgard.

If you are a webcomic author and are interested in a review from me, you can check out my announcement and my review rules here.

If you enjoy my reviews and would like to help ensure I'm able to continue publishing them, you can contribute on our Patreon or if you're short on funds you can also help me out by checking out and sharing my own webcomic, Woohooligan!

Thanks! Sam

#review #action #adventure #fantasy #medieval #rennaissance #anachronism

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baabybern · 7 years

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Moving forward

Some may say, that talking about moving forward kind of defeats the purpose of the action itself. But for some it’s a therapeutic way of getting out of your mind rather than just keeping it inside. There’s a guy that I used to go crazy for. No, not my 3 year relationship. I don’t even know if my ex still looks at my tumblr, but hey if he does, i hope he knows that he was the best relationship I’ve ever had and I’m saying I’m so sorry for it ending the way it did. I can still feel a sense of pettiness lingering on him, and it sucks but there’s not much I can do about it other than accept it for what it is.

How is it that I can get over a 3 year relationship that fucking quick rather than a fling that happened for maybe 6 months tops. It’s crazy how someone can take your soul and just crush it right in front of you, lie to you, and feel no ways about parting with you as if it was all just meant to end. The worst part is that you actually believe them. They’re so deceiving to the point where you really truly believe that you mean something to them.

I can continue to sit here and cry about it, believe me it’s been almost 2 months now. They say it takes about 3 months to get over someone on average. For my first serious relationship that took almost half a year. So I find that statistic to be utter bullshit, but then again, it’s just a statistic. You can constantly search up the amount of things to try to help you get over someone and some of it may work. However, it really is up to you on how and when to get over things and it’s not really up for a debate; which of course sucks but it’s out of anyones control.

If anyone has ever met someone who is your dream come to life, you will know exactly what I’m feeling. You first see them, and your eyes haven’t laid on anything quite gorgeous before. You first hear their voice and you find it’s a soft melody escaping the lips that you desire to lay yours upon. I don’t know if anyones ever felt the same as me on this, but when I first met him, I had this strange feeling that he was going to ruin my life. But I let him in anyways, and now the damage was far more destructive than I could have imagined.

There were so many things left unsaid the last time we spoke. About how it was essentially my fault that we ended up not being together. You fronted as if you had no control over the problem. You fronted as if I was the one who made it all happen. You honestly made me feel bad for falling for you in the first place. You justified your actions but mine were made to look like it wasn’t valid. Don’t you remember we were on the same boat at the same time? Remember when I was the first one you would hit up and end your day with? Remember when I was your first choice for a girlfriend?

I would have taken care of you, I spent much more money on you than her, not that it should be a factor, but you named that off as a reason to be with her, I remember quite clearly how you explained it. You were about to ditch her for me again, but I guess the guilt got to you. I honestly did want to meet her, I wanted to get to know the girl who makes my best friend happy. But I asked you if she made you happy in person, and you said it was whatever. Then you switched up and said she made you the happiest.

After that switch up, I thought long and hard about everything else that you said to me. I had to learn the hard way to fall for actions and not for words. I understand you were hurt, I understand she fucked you up, but that’s never a reason to destroy a soul. Especially a soul who was there for you through everything, who took care of you, and who became your best friend. But I guess your girlfriend who hates my guts was more important than your best friend who just wanted peace.

I could name off all of these reasons why I would have been the best girlfriend you’ve ever had, but it’s not gonna change anything. You tell me to not dwell on the past how could I not? You wanted a future with me, you said so yourself. We had plans, you said I was the one that you cared about the most, loved the most, and made you the happiest. You wanted to give me something that my ex couldn’t and didn’t want. But the fact that you lied about that too, makes me question everything. My life knowing you has been a lie. But if it weren’t for you, my life would be so different. Maybe one day, things will fall into place, I told you I don’t care about the sex, I don’t even care for the relationship, all I wanted was my best friend back, and you couldn’t even give me that.

How is this moving forward you might ask. Well, talking about it is one thing, coming to terms with it is another. I wish I had a talk with you, like a proper one, but you’re too busy now. But that’s the thing, nobody is ever too busy, it’s all about priorities. Once I realized I wasn’t a priority anymore, it was kind of a nice epiphany. Another thing I’ve come to terms with is how much money you owe me. You owe me almost a credit card limit. Like, almost if not $1000. You said you would pay me back by getting a telly and getting bare drugs. You said you couldn’t do that anymore which is completely understandable. However, I still don’t have that money back from you. It’s been two months.

But I realized if me spending all of that money made me a good friend and maybe even saved your life in one way shape or form, then that’s all I could ever ask back for. It was my choice to spend that money, I knew you weren’t going to force me to use it anyways. Even the piff. Piff was meant to be shared and I was going to give you some of that anyways. Even if you did smoke it with her, I’m glad it all went to good use.

The hardest thing to come to terms with was how you lied about how you felt about me. How can you stare into the windows of my soul and lie to it. I couldn’t look at you, you were too good for me, I truly didn’t feel worthy to look into your eyes. Once I did, I couldn’t stop looking. It’s like i bestowed upon the most beautiful creature; little did I know you turned out to be a monster. The worst kind of monster. Take a jellyfish for example, so beautiful once you’ve laid eyes on it, but it’s also the deadliest thing upon a simple touch. Once this jellyfish drained out all of my love, it left me there to fend for myself, no warning, no nothing.

Maybe you didn’t lie to me though. Maybe what you said to me was 100% true, just in the moment. I remember now you tend to say a lot of things you don’t mean when you’re angry. Maybe it’s the same way when you’re infatuated. Yes I said infatuated, because nobody would leave someone they love out to dry and never return. I swear we were the same. I swear you and I would’ve been the best couple. Even you said you saw us living together and being happy. You changed goals, and now I have to change mine.

At some point, you meant everything to me. No matter what you did, I always saw you as perfect. You couldn’t do anything wrong in my eyes. Whatever you did was always justifiable, but this time you explaining yourself was just so incredibly wrong and one sided, now I see you for your true colours. You were not at all what I thought you were and that’s completely my fault. I expected way too much from someone who was broken and lost and just wanted to make everyone happy. Though I’m being honest, you made me afraid to love again.

But you were absolutely right on needing to focus on myself. Who am I to keep dwelling on this if I don’t move forward. Just pathetic. I know it’s still going to take time, but I’m coping. Before, I was asked if you came back in my life, and asked me to be your girlfriend would I say yes. Before, my answer would have been “In a heartbeat”. But now, I’m not sure. I don’t even know. Would I want you back in my life? I haven’t burned any bridges, but I did walk away from it after wishing you a happy birthday and not getting a response back. I think it would hurt being your girlfriend. But then again, what would I know about that?

I recently had dreams of you, one good one bad. the bad one came first, it was me living with you, but she was living with us too. She was talking bare shit to me and you were just lying in bed with her laughing at me while she was talking. The other dream however, was us chilling again, like old times and how well you and I clicked, and that you paid me back for all the things that you owed me. I don’t know what to think of you anymore. I haven’t seen you recently to even judge what you’re truly like anymore.

I hate that me slightly hating you is the only way to get over you. Now it’s honestly such a shame to say that you’re someone i used to know. I hate speaking in that tense where you became a part of my past life but like I said, I didn’t burn the bridge but just simply walked away from it. You were the realest person Ive ever met. You checked me, but I checked you too. We had the same thoughts, dealt with the same bullshit, paid loyalty where it’s due.

I’ve always hated goodbyes, that to me just means that you won’t see them anymore, and then people will forget. I won’t forget you though. You showed me how to have sex (God bless you on that), you showed me how to not be so defensive, you showed me the true meaning of friendship, and you showed me good music. I never forget people that showed me good music.

UPDATE (Wednesday June 28th 2017):

I got a message from you around 3 weeks ago. I remember freaking out because I literally didn’t expect anything from you. It was around the same time I made this text post; possibly a few days later. I saw a notification in my instagram inbox, thinking oh it’s probably my friend getting back to me bout some shit, or maybe it was another friend who sent me a funny meme. None of the above, it was you. I remember the mixed emotions that were running wild through my mind. Happy because I thought you figured out she’s not the one for you, sad because I feel like you hit up everyone else you used to talk to, and mad because you destroyed my trust and you think saying sorry once over instagram is enough.

It was all too much to think about in the moment but one simple thought ruled my mind: I just needed to see you again. I needed to figure out what I needed to say to you and since I had no idea what to say, I just knew that right when i meet up with you, everything will just fall into place. You talked about how you weren’t happy again. I knew it. I knew you couldn’t stand to be with her. But what tipped me off was how you feel bad if you break up with her just because she bought you a fuckin ipad for your birthday.

There are two age old rules that should’ve been embedded in your mind:

1. Money can’t buy you happiness

2. All that glitters is not gold

Honestly, talking to you again felt nice. It reminded me of why you were my best friend, funny how I almost forgot. You asked me about my life and I asked you about yours. You complained about everything, how guys would send her dick pics, how she gives you so much bullshit. But you don’t break up with her unless you have solid proof that she’s cheating on you. But why should that be the deal breaker? If you’re not happy then fuckin end it, it’s black or white.

But at the same time, if you honestly truly cared about me, you wouldn’t block me on everything, you woulda checked your bitch and kept our friendship alive. But since you didn’t do any of that, I guess I’d have to say it’s black or white, right? You didn’t care about me, and I guess you just confirmed it. One thing I know for sure is true, is that you didn’t speak to anyone else other than me, because “seaweed” never mentioned you.

I know because I would be hearing about it for days. Y’know everytime i chill with her, she never fails to mention you once. And I said I felt like her in the skype messages because I felt like I was in the dark about everything. You stopped talking to her for a week before breaking it with her, and you stopped talking to me for about 2 or 3 weeks before telling me your situation without listening to mine. I just felt like someone who was just around for you. You say to not over think, but it’s kind of hard not to when you’re not fully explaining everything to me and i just have to play a fucking guessing game by myself; thus figuring out every possible outcome without someone there to give me a concrete, definite answer.

However at the same time, you being unresponsive and ignorant is also an answer. That I shouldn’t have wasted my time on someone who was just gonna do me so dirty.

However, this isn’t a goodbye, this isn’t a farewell. I don’t expect any sort of communication from you anytime soon.

But it was nice meeting you; I hope to see you again sometime.

#baabybern

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