#honestly unbelievable I even managed it timeline wise

[bookwyrminspiration]

hey (getting ready to post the final chapter of the wings au, the finally completed epilogue, if you even care)

[athetos]

I honestly have no fucking idea how I went to college for 4 straight years full time without dropping out. Undiagnosed narcolepsy and adhd, unmedicated, I spent multiple semesters not even on antidepressants, or worse, on ones that made me violently ill, had a month-long bout of a stomach disorder I didn’t even know I inherited from my dad, spent half that amount of time in an abusive relationship, plus a ton more of vastly complex and out of control interpersonal drama, like I barely survived at all tbh but I somehow managed to get a degree? And 3 fucking minors? By the time I was 22? I barely attended some of my classes, people were so used to me falling asleep in the hallways that they’d just step over me and put my coat on me like a blanket, I only passed a couple of classes because I cheated on exams and broke down in the professor’s office and they pitied me, but I fucking did it?

Like, if I went back and time and did it all over again, only this time properly medicated and with a real support group, I would probably have a fucking 4.0, be in 5 clubs, did that crazy double major I joked about, and my life would be so unrecognizable. I’d be in a PhD program right now at some prestigious university and… okay, let’s be real, I probably wouldn’t be making more money than I am right now because I’ve seen what they fucking pay grad students, but that’s just insane to me, how differently my life could have turned out. Or maybe it wouldn’t be different. Maybe it would be the same, or maybe it would even be worse. Like, I’m dating a milf who’s 9 inches taller than me, so maybe this is the best timeline.

Yet, it’s kind of… both funny and depressing to know how fucked I get right now if I don’t have my meds, even if I’m not in a depressive episode. I can barely function without them. I’m asleep more than I am awake, I can’t focus, I have no energy, and if I go more than just a few days without my antidepressants I have full-on mental breakdowns and am borderline-suicidal. So, this of course means 1 of 2 things must be true. Either I wasn’t this fucked up in college, and my disorders must have worsened over time, or I was this fucked up and still forced myself through a degree. The second is probably the most likely, to be honest. And you might be thinking, “Ash, can’t you just remember and compare your symptoms?” You have to understand that I was so unbelievably stressed at some points that huge chunks of time spanning weeks is permanently locked away in my Repressed Memory Vault, and I was also a victim of gaslighting from someone who very much wanted me to believe I was crazy, but also was incredibly adamant I did not receive help (hence partially why I was undiagnosed and unmedicated). My memories aren’t really all that reliable, and the other thing is, I thought the narcolepsy part of it was normal. Or, well, that I was just lazy. I didn’t know what narcolepsy was beyond dramatizations in tv shows. I didn’t see my symptoms as symptoms, and therefore, I didn’t really keep track of them, if that makes sense.

All this to say, I think wishing my life turned out differently isn’t healthy and leads nowhere. I still ruminate on it from time to time, but it’s less from a depressive angle and more because I’m angry as hell that a lot of people failed me in my life during that time period. I should have been diagnosed and medicated, god knows I’ve seen enough therapists and doctors. I should have had a friend that would have helped me get the fuck out of that relationship sooner. I should have had more people supporting me and taking me seriously. But things turned out this way, and I gotta make my peace with that. I might be in a “better” place if things went differently from a certain viewpoint, at least career-wise, but it could be worse in other ways I’d never know. I need to put my energy into making sure the life I’m actually living is the best possible one for me. That’s all that matters.

[fourangers]

Perhaps, in the end, it’s fate

Summary:  With one different tilt of the destiny, many other paths can be unfolded. However between them, there would be always an automatic pull since they share an interchangeable fate.

It's ninjaverse AU, completely different timeline. Teacher!Naruto, father!Sasuke, lil!Sarada with a harmless crush on Nardo. No prior pairings with Sasuke (and Naruto btw) because babies can be created through power of SCIENCE! (or in this case, Orochimaru’s experiments).

Based on February prompt from Sun and Moon Challenge, check it out once you can! SNS, T-rated. Comedy and Romance.

AO3 link | FFnet link

⏤.⏤

Squinting his eyes, he swallowed dryly with fingers crossed. He hoped his future mentor would be wise and kind, his teammates nice and welcoming. If he could stretch a little bit more in this wishing department, maybe Sakura will be part of his team. Well, anything, anyone but Sasuke. It was already humiliating enough losing his first kiss to that bastard, going on missions with him would be. The. Worst.

Iruka cleared his throat, staring the list. "Well, Team 7 will be Haruno Sakura..."

Naruto inhaled sharply, tightening his fists.

"Uchiha Sasuke..." He could hear Sakura's jubilant scream all across the classroom, in midst of other feminine complaints and whining. Naruto groaned too.

"...and Hyuuga Neji."

Huh.

That was...sort of unexpected. Really unexpected.

Naruto frowned, wondering why it felt so out of place that he wouldn't be part of this team.

Iruka continued to recite. "That means that the last team will be Rock Lee, Tenten and Uzumaki Naruto."

He threw a tentative glance towards his future teammates, trying not to get freaked out towards the most humongous eyebrows he had ever met in his life. This boy was also wearing a spandex, a bowl cut haircut style and a goofy smile. His female teammate, on the other hand, simply smiled once she noticed him, waving her hand.

Naruto awkwardly waved back, butterflies squirming in his stomach. A brand new life lied ahead of him and he couldn’t wait to get into his first ninja mission.

His new teacher was a bigger weirdo named Maito Gai. He wore Lee’s same spandex and had even thicker brows, but every qualm was instant quelled once he showed impressive taijutsu skills. He was also unbelievably patient and kind with his protegées, taking notes of their strengths and deficiencies, even teaching basic ninjutsus skills to Naruto that he didn’t manage to learn back in ninja Academy.

Gai had auto-proclaimed rival to Team 7’s leader, some shady guy named Kakashi. They stumbled towards that team on a rather frequent basis while watching Gai’s bravados and weird contests with Kakashi laidback responses. That also meant that Naruto and Lee were busy wooing (or at least trying to) Sakura. Noticing Lee’s unsuccessful attempts to ask her out made him shift for another strategy; concentrating on the other rival ergo Uchiha Sasuke.

(though frankly, while sprawled on the bed after another grueling day of training, Naruto had to admit that what he wanted the most was to check if Sasuke, who is another orphan like him, was doing ok on his own)

Sasuke egged him on, honestly. Calling him a total dumbass, smirking while they bickered, it was refreshing someone acknowledge him aside his teammates.

Sakura was treating him better in comparison to the Academy days, much to his positive surprise. She muttered something about Sasuke giving her a blistering lecture, defending Naruto out, which broke his wall for a second.

Chuunin exams arrived, Lee and Tenten losing in the preliminaries, fueling Naruto to get a victory for the team. His fight against Hyuuga Neji ended with some broken bones, painful conversations, a promise and a new friend. He was looking forward to see Sasuke defeat Gaara to honor Konoha, however, as life was full of unexpected changes, that innocuous exam ended with the Sandaime Hokage murdered and the village being attacked.

The village council convinced Kakashi be a temporary Hokage, everyone gathering around to fix the destruction. Soon they returned to their old routine with the usual genin missions while they went back to train. Naruto kept helping Tenten to conjure better weapons as well as sparring with Lee. He had to admit that while Gai was a good teacher, he wished he could expand even further his skills to something other than taijutsu…

Before he could get back to the idyllic days, out of nowhere, Sasuke disappeared. Rumors spread seeing Sakura’s swollen eyes and Kakashi handling a mission to retrieve him. All genins he knew assembled a team with Shikamaru as the leader and Neji to talk him through.

The mission was a complete utter failure.

“He just didn’t listen to me. I even mentioned you Naruto-kun, how it’s possible for anyone to get out from our personal darkness and conquer fate but still…” Neji shook his head, swallowing a soldier pill to replenish his depleted chakra.

Words of disagreement lodged on his throat but he couldn’t voice it out. Naruto knew, somehow, that if it were him, instead of Neji, maybe…Maybe he’d be able to convince Sasuke, or…

After this incident, he noticed Sakura’s grim expression when she started her medic nin training, as well as Neji’s renewed determination to change the Hyuuga clan. Naruto questioned himself, why he wanted with almost the same intensity to bring Sasuke back to Konoha, despite wondering if he’d make a difference. He’s not even his teammate…

And yet he pondered; was this the reason why he accepted Jiraiya’s tutelage, when Gai mentioned about him when they went to retrieve Tsunade?

But as painful that experience was for everyone involved in, life moved on. Even shadows casting on Team 7’s eyes were blurring out, Sakura mentioning her ex-teammate with a somewhat nostalgia instead of bitterness, and Neji found a closer friendship with Naruto as years passed by.

Naruto questioned himself then, the irrational need to work to the bone 24/7, red iris plaguing his dreams sometimes. He was evolving, he was becoming a stronger ninja and yet he always felt that he didn’t reach his full potential. As if his body was waiting for a worthy rival to inspire him.

Team 7 and Team Gai were celebrating together for gaining their chuunin title, as well as Neji’s jounin promotion. Lee and Sakura used this opportunity to reveal that they were dating, shocking them all. They were a cute couple; Naruto figured, so he approached her to drop a quiet confession.

“You know, it’s funny but I used to have a crush on you.” He muttered, sipping his tea.

Sakura stared with wide eyes, before letting out a short chuckle.

“What!” Naruto yowled. “I mean, don’t sell yourself short, you are cute so a lot of boys liked you and I used to be one of them so⏤”

Sakura shook her head, giggling. "No, no, no, I mean...I thought you used to have a crush on Sasuke.”

His jaw dropped to the ground. “What?!”

“Yes, whenever our teams met, you were busier staring at him and trying to get him to fight you than trying to talk with me. So I thought maybe you were into him? Like the typical boy who pull the girl’s pigtails because he likes her. Well, though you two were boys. Was I wrong?”

Naruto was scarlet red to the tip of his hair, mouth still slack, unable to formulate any complete sentence. Sakura’s smile grew more mischievous so he settled to avoid looking at her, wolfing down his plate.

Sakura pursed her lips, sagging on her seat. “Sasuke huh...he’s coming back, you know.”

For a second, the world stood stock still. “What?”

She shrugged, fingers twirling strands of hair. “You heard that right. He wants to go back to Konoha, claiming that he saw the errors of his way. So he traded important information about Sound Village and Orochimaru to regain his citizenship and ninja status in Konoha.”

A silence fell between them as they both took their time to absorb this bout of information. Sakura cheered up once her boyfriend was back with fresh food, but Naruto was lost thinking about all possibilities.

Few days later, Sasuke arrived at the gates, battered and tired, cradling a cloth wrapping with his arms. He was already the main gossip of the town, then the whispers grew exponentially once they confirmed that he was, indeed, holding a little child.

At a tender age of 18, this young man was already a father.

Naruto hid in some corner of a store, glancing surreptitiously as Sasuke strolled through the streets, uncaring to people gawking and muttering around him. The toddler began shuffling, hiccuping. Those small noises soon turned to loud wails that made him stop at once, cradling her close as he made little bounces though this wasn’t enough to calm her down. People made annoyed faces and had quicken their paces, everyone refused to help him out.

Listening to the cries that increased in volume, he bit his lip, taking a deep breath. He emerged from his spot, walking closer to Sasuke who appeared a little frantic.

“Um.” Naruto scratched the back of his head when Sasuke turned to face him with a glare, hands busy while his daughter kept crying. “Maybe you can try putting her body resting over your upper arm, like a tiger resting on a branch.”

Sasuke stared skeptical, despite obeying his suggestion. Her short yowls decreased, breathing becoming more even till she slept in his arms. Needless to say, Sasuke was rather impressed.

“Uh yeah⏤Iruka-toosan sometimes asks me to help him out taking care of children in the daycare center. I got some of those tips.”

Sasuke grunted back, gazing upon his baby.

“So…” Naruto smacked his lips. “Welcome back? Uh, what’s her name?”

Sasuke huffed, placing her head on his left shoulder. “Sarada.”

Naruto held her tiny hand, smiling with a whisper. “Sarada-chan~welcome to Konoha. You’re gonna love living here, meeting auntie Sakura, uncle Neji, Kakashi, me...how old is she?”

Sasuke scrunched up his face, staring downwards. “9 months. I thought...I’d be fine on my own but in the end, we needed⏤” He thinned his lips. “I said too much.” Before Naruto would ask any further question, Sasuke said. “I should get going. Thank you, Naruto.”

Naruto nodded back, watching the brisk steps moving away from him.

Once Sasuke had settled in the old Uchiha compound, Sakura, Neji and Kakashi visited him. They were welcoming, but absent. After all, Sakura was busy in Konoha’s hospital, Kakashi was going to be officially appointed as Konoha’s Hokage, Neji was helping his cousin changing Hyuuga clan’s laws.

There was a significant chasm between Sasuke and other ninjas of his generation, since he was now a father between young adults, and left Konoha while the Rookie Nine nurtured their relationship over the years. He made no effort to draw the bridge too, cooped in his house taking care of his daughter most of the time. And even when the gang would reunite, he was always the last one to arrive, the first to go.

On some occasions Sakura would succeed in convincing him to bring his daughter whenever team Gai and team 7 would gather in her house. Sasuke however, maintained his distance with the crew, aside some quiet conversation with Neji.  

It was almost like living in an old film reel, rolling all over again. Watching Sasuke as a child from afar, craving to reach his hand and talk to him but never building enough courage to do so. They became mere acquaintances, the occasional nod of recognition when they crossed paths, making small talks while Sasuke was nursing Sarada. Soon Naruto became jounin when Sasuke managed the chuunin title, Lee mentioning he and Sakura took care of Sarada while he was doing the exams.

He stared down the porcelain mask while the townspeople cheered the end of Kakashi’s appointed ceremony. Gai stood next to him, and Naruto smiled from his teacher’s happiness emanating from afar. Long time ago, he remembered desiring conquering such coveted position, but nowadays he was content knowing that Kakashi would make a decent Hokage.

(why did he lose so easily his determination to follow his ambitions?)

Kakashi didn’t waste much time in celebration, throwing mission after mission on him, one longer than the other and in some faraway sketchy places. Most those times Naruto could only hear the faint echoes of their sprinting, casting long shadows on the cavernous walls. He was responsible exploding laboratories while Tenten gathered reports, weird shapes submerged in purpleish water.

How bizarre. Sometimes he could swear some of those shapes had some resemblance with Sasuke.

⏤.⏤

Iruka was like a father to him and he deserved this long vacation after years of tireless tutelage. But still.

Screams. Collisions. Little imps running around all over the place. Those squirmy little brats slithering out of his grasp and making a racket.

Naruto really needed to work in refusing Iruka’s requests, but the older nin was just this damn persuasive.

He spread his clones in every corner of the daycare center, however, it didn’t seem to be enough. The moment the kids understood that his bunshins could pop out with some harder shove, they made their newest game dispelling as many clones as possible.

Yet those kids were old enough to learn basics of ninja skills, so other teachers threw such responsibility on Naruto’s shoulders, considering he had a higher rank. He had a hard time tampering down his strength, why are children such squiggly delicate beings that cried with the littlest wound?

Naruto spent only one day with them and he was already wondering if he would leave this experience unscathed. Nevertheless he summoned every bit of his patience and taught the fundamentals of aiming, giving them the chance to train too.

He heard collective praises and some gasps coming from afar, approaching and noticing the dark haired girl concentrated on her task. Whoa...time surely flies by pretty damn fast. He had forgotten that Sarada was already 5 years old. Naruto snorted when he saw that most shurikens she threw hit the bullseye.

But that wasn’t enough to satisfy her, since she picked all the paper shurikens and threw with renewed zeal. The rest of the kids went away playing on their own, but Sarada remained in training. Heaving tired breaths, she flung another shuriken but this time it flew past the target.

She made a frustrated growl, running to dislodge the weapon that dug deep in the bark of a tree. Naruto heard a concealed hiccup, as Sarada rubbed her eyes with her arm.

“Hey, don’t worry about it, I got this.” Naruto appeared in a blink, quirking a mollifying smile and removed the shuriken with ease. He offered to the young Uchiha, she accepted the weapon with contemplative eyes.

“You’re Lee-san’s friend right?” She realized.

“Sure am! I’m Uzumaki Naruto, it’s nice to see you again Sarada-chan.” Naruto patted her head. “You know, it’s really important to train your skills, but taking a break is also equally as important. Letting your body rest when it’s so tired, so it can grow stronger the next time.”

Sarada pouted, then muttered. “Auntie Sakura told me stories about back when my father was my age. He was a genius, always great with whatever he did, but I’m…”

“Ah yeah your dad...I also remember that he used to train all day and night over and over again. You’ll get as good as him in no time, don’t worry about it.”

“But…” Sarada bit her lower lip, shuffling her feet. “Father once talked to me about the Uchiha clan and how it used to be a very respectable clan and I have to follow their footsteps so⏤”

“Ugh, who cares!” Naruto rolled his eyes. “I think it’s too much that this bastard⏤”

She gasped. “You said a bad word!”

“S-sorry.” He scratched his head. “Anyways, I think it’s unfair to put such heavy duties on your shoulders. Your dad suffered back he was your age, I don’t want you to suffer the same. You should be only Sarada-chan after all right! You’ll make your father proud in your own pace.”  

“You think so?”

“I know so! After all, I’m already proud of you and I’m your teacher, right.” He messed her hair, patting on it.

Sarada stared down her shuriken, thumbs sliding over it. She peeked through her fringes, a rosy blush dusting her cheeks. “Thank you Uzumaki-sensei.”

“Oh, you can call me Naruto.” He grinned.

Her voice pumped with more excitement as she said. “Naruto-sensei!”

On the following days Naruto continued with his ninja classes, juggling between paying attention to all students, focusing on the rowdy ones, teaching those lessons and avoid any kind of catastrophe might ensue. He had found another mounting respect towards Iruka, those kids just can’t be real.

In every class Sarada was the first to complete it with pristine score, dashing next to him with eyes silently asking for his praise.

And praise he did, with words of encouragement and approval, injecting an impressed tone as he ruffled her hair. Every single time this gave her renewed motivation to improve herself. Naruto gazed fondly from afar as Sarada hopped between trees with ease. His entire childhood was consumed by hatred and neglect from adults until he met Iruka, he’d never subject any other kid to such trauma once again.

“Naruto-sensei!” Sarada exclaimed, hugging his arm with a tight grip.

Naruto beamed, patting her hair. He was starting to see the perks of this profession, was this the reason why Iruka continued to be a teacher despite having to take care of these little brats everyday?

A baritone voice chimed from behind. “Ah, I see. Expected nothing less I guess.”

They turned around, facing the familiar piercing dark eyes. Sasuke gazed back in fond amusement.

“So you’re really the Naruto-sensei my daughter kept gushing about all last week.”

Sarada pale cheeks reddened at once. “Father!”

“Alright little one, it’s time to go home.” Sasuke hushed by patting on her back. “Go grab our things ok.” After Sarada obeyed him with a pronounced pout, Sasuke muttered once she was out of the picture. “Long time no see.”

“Yeah…” Naruto rubbed the back of his neck. “You look well I guess.”

“Hn. When Lee told me you’re subbing for Iruka-sensei, I didn’t quite believe at first. I thought you’re a jounin?”

“I am, but Iruka-toosan made me promise that I’d take care of them while he’s on vacation. I thought, well, kids right. I took care of ‘em sometimes, one whole month would be nothing and⏤”

“It’s hell isn’t it?” Sasuke smirked.

Naruto dropped his shoulders at once, a long groan vibrating on his throat. “Totally. I was already dead on the first day.”

Sasuke nodded in agreement. “Sarada thankfully is more helpful than most children. But still, where do they get all this energy?”

“I know right??” Naruto laughed. “They look so small I thought they wouldn’t be much trouble but whoa, did I misjudge on this one.”

Sarada arrived with backpack ready. “I’m back father!”

“Good. Maybe we’ll go eat outside for a change.”

“Oh! You should eat Ichiraku Ramen then, it’s perfect for cold day like today!” Naruto said.

Sasuke shook his head. “You and your Ichiraku Ramen, I remember you used to drag Lee and Tenten to eat at that place.”

“Ichiraku Ramen is the greatest, I was just doing them a favor to acknowledge such fact. There’s no other restaurant that would have such delicious braised pork, a tender yet firm noodles coupled with the rich texture and savory miso broth. It’s the best.”

“If Naruto-sensei said so, maybe we should try it!” Sarada chirped. A lightbulb went off and she added. “Maybe he could go with us!”

Both young men crossed their eyes before deflecting in haste, Naruto cleared his throat as Sasuke thinned his lips. “Naruto-sensei looks pretty tired, maybe we shouldn’t bother him too much Sarada.”

“Oh, she’s not bothering me for sure.” Naruto retorted. “But maybe you want to have some quiet time together with your father, right, Sarada-chan?”

“Father wouldn’t mind if you tag along Naruto-sensei, right?” Sarada pulled out the most pitiful expression she could ever muster, jutting her lower lip. “Right?”

Glancing in between her frantic daughter and the bewildered blue eyes, Sasuke exhaled tiredly. He mumbled under his breath. “Is it ok for you to go with us Naruto?”

“Um, ok. Sure!” He messed with Sarada’s hair when she jumped in joy. “I’m going to ask my favorite Ramen flavor for you Sarada-chan, I’m sure you’re going to love it.”

Despite initial reservations, they maintained a cheerful conversation peppered with Naruto’s booming voice and Sarada’s exclaims while they were walking on the way to the restaurant. This time though, Sasuke appeared to be a more sociable mood, chatting back with occasional grunts, which Naruto didn’t mind with his easy-going nature.

Sasuke insisted paying the bill despite all his protests, explaining that this was a small gesture of gratitude for taking care of his daughter. After waving goodbyes, they went on separate ways, smile playing on both their lips.

“Naruto-sensei is like the sun right!”

Sasuke blinked, head tilted to one side to gawk at her. Sarada linked her fingers together, placing to one side of her cheek as she whispered with a dreamy voice.

“He’s so nice and friendly, full of energy and bright. And when he smiles you just feel happier too, it’s wide and sincere, he makes your mood so much better. I love his hair, it’s golden exactly like the sun and his eyes have such a beautiful shade of blue, I’d never get tired looking at his eyes and⏤” She stopped her diatribe once she noticed her father’s peering eyes. “What?”

Sasuke studied his daughter, before settling with a long sigh.

She wrinkled her nose. “Anyways, as I was saying…”

⏤.⏤

2nd chapter here

⏤.⏤

AN: at first I thought that it’d be a one-shot but it got too much material for only a one-shot. So...lol. It’s gonna be a two-shot.