#hope you like my nerdy gay ass poetry!

[mlmichaelharrison]

Dark Secrets - Damien Nazario x MC (Kai)

Outline: gender-neutral MC (called Kai as it's the default name) and Damien start their traditional viewing of A Battle of Crowns together when Kai finds one of Damien’s deepest, darkest secrets… Warnings: swearing, slow burn relationship, mentions of alcoholism Word count: 2,681 (I'm so sorry haha) Hope you like it!

As Damien opened the door to his apartment, you’re greeted by a man you hardly recognized. “Whoa… who are you?” You asked with a slight laugh, and Damien looked at you, confused before he realized what you were referring to and took his thin-framed glasses off instantly. “You saw nothing.” He rushed and stepped aside for you to walk in. “Were those reading glasses?” You teased and pried and he rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah,” he mumbled. “We don’t all have perfect eyesight like you.” “Aww, you said I’m perfect!” “That was absolutely not what I just said, but sure.” He said, shaking his head as he locked his door up. “You really are secure, aren’t you?” You said, watching him slide bolt after bolt over the door. He shrugged. “I’m a P.I, what more do you expect? People have wanted me dead before, I’m not taking any chances!” he chuckled as you slumped onto his couch, looking at the TV which wasn’t on. Odd, he almost always has the TV on. “I bet you’re hiding some really dark secrets in here…” You teased and he rolled his eyes. “Legal case files and documents lying around, handgun in my drawer, all of my personal details; my apartment is definitely not one for any random member of public.” He responded, sitting down next to you and turning the TV on, the channel currently on a radio station. “Oh, what station is that?” You asked excitedly and he smiled, unmuting it and letting You Really Got Me Going by The Kinks play through his sound system. He looked over at them, tapping his foot lightly as he recited the words to himself. You really got me going, you got me so I don’t know what I’m doing now. Yeah, you really got me now, you got me so I can’t sleep at night. “One of the only good stations out there. Rock classics. Mostly from the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s. I say rock, but they also play punk, punk rock, some metal-” “Wait.” You interrupted and he looked abruptly at you, cocking an eyebrow up. “You have a handgun?” You asked in shock. He shrugged and nodded. “Well, yeah. As I said, I’m a private investigator and I’ve had my life threatened more than once. Self-defence.” You looked at him a little longer and he rolled his eyes. “Of course I have a licence, Kai, I’m not an idiot.” He said as if reading your mind. You breathe out a sigh of relief, and then the curiosity crept back. “That’s so cool, can I see it?” “Of course not. I'm not an idiot, but you sure are.” He responded with a smirk playing on his lips. “Oh, please, D. I just want to see it!”  “If you can find it.” He said, turning back to the screen and starting to flick through channels. You took this as a challenge, jumping up and opening drawers frantically. Damien rolled his eyes at you but was still smiling. You rummaged through some drawers, finding pens, torches, paper clips and huge abundances of paper, but no gun. Feeling a little defeated and not wanting to invade his personal space more, you start to close the drawer, before your eye caught something. A small, biro drawing of some flowers. You smiled a little and reopened the drawer, scanning the slightly crumpled piece of paper.

Flowers of the fields What do they know? How many lovers have they seen Tumble through the snow?

Though they struggle through Winter They always make it through, And in Spring they are reborn Into something beautifully new.

You smile to yourself at the amazing discovery you had just made. Damien writes poetry. You can’t help yourself from moving that sheet aside and eagerly try to read the next piece.

Good people are a rare thing, So hold on while you can- They’ll be there for you through everything And they’ll be your biggest fans.

Good people are a rare thing, But you have somehow found them. This is me reminding: Don’t fuck this up, Damien!

You grinned more and looked at the small, printed photo of you, him and Nadia paper clipped to it. You took a look at the next one.

“The whiskey only speaks so loudly And it never says enough, But it’s the only comforter On nights that are too rough” - d.n.

You frown a little upon reading that one and turn cautiously towards Damien. You can’t help but feel a little guilty. Firstly, you were definitely invading his privacy, but then you remembered that that’s his job, so you shouldn’t feel guilty doing it back. He also managed to find all of your diaries and read everything from your teenage years, luckily narrowly avoiding the more recent ones, so this was payback! Secondly, this showed that he does have emotions, and he doesn’t have a great way of dealing with them. He bottles it all up and downs bottles of alcohol. Not exactly healthy. You stare at his face as it’s illuminated by the flickers of the TV. His dark brown eyes seem glued to the screen and his hair has started to overgrow a bit. He rested his head on his fist and had his legs curled up on the couch where you otherwise would have sat. He smiled a little and you heard canned laughter, smiling a little to yourself as his face changed. He was beautiful.

You turned back into the drawer and noticed that there were so many more- a huge clump of paper all with stanzas scattered across them. There must have been nearly 100 pieces there. As you skimmed your hand over one, a bit of wet ink smudged under your fingertip. You were surprised at how recently it was written, and couldn’t keep your curiosity at bay.

Insp: Ever Fallen in Love (With Someone You Shouldn’t’ve) - The Buzzcocks

I’m trapped And you could never know. I’m wrapped Up in fantasies. Too slow.

You frowned again, assuming that this was about his ex-partner that he very rarely talks about. He’s only ever spoken about her when drunk or as a truth or dare question, never on his own accord.

I’m out of the picture, A dirty wreck living in reverse Because if I say, I risk losing you And that is far worse.

I’ve fallen in love with someone I shouldn’t have- I’m lost for words and -

“Oi! Out of there!” Damien snapped suddenly, making you jump and drop the papers. “Sorry, but those are strictly forbidden!”

“But D,” you whined softly.

He hadn’t realized how out of it he was. He hadn’t slept all night, instead working on a case, and he was going to catch up with sleep now. But, of course, he had planned to watch the new episode of A Battle of Crowns with Kai; it was their tradition. They always came early, though, so they could catch up or watch shitty comedies, but he hadn’t realized that during the shitty comedy he was watching that he forgot that Kai was even there. When he looked up at them from the TV screen, he was horrified to find that they were standing at the chest of drawers that he kept his work in. He didn’t mean to snap, he just panicked.

“No, Kai!” He whined back, his face growing redder. “I had no idea you wrote poetry!” He visibly cringed as they said it aloud. “Sh, keep your voice down, someone could hear you.” “Damien, what are you ashamed of? They’re beautiful!” He rolled his eyes, but actually felt a small sense of pride. No one had read any of his work before, so hearing that it was actually good from someone was really nice for him. But, of course, he’d never show that. He looked at the piece on top of the pile and his eyes widened. “Whoa! Not that one! That one is definitely off limits!” He said, panic setting in as his heart rate increased and palms started sweating. He reached to take it but Kai picked it up first and held it up high. “I thought that they were all ‘strictly forbidden’?” Kai said, smiling. They didn’t quite realize the weight of the work they held or why it was so important that they didn’t see it. Damien sighed. “Well, yes, they are, but that one in particular-” He cut himself off with a grunt as he reached for it. Kai laughed lightly and leaned further back, their back resting on top of the cabinet as they held it at arm's length upwards. Damien started to panic more, because if Kai doesn’t realize who the poem is about now, they’re damn going to know by the end of the poem when it says their name. He pushed Kai further against the cabinet and pressed his entire body against theirs, trying to reach the piece of paper. Every inch of their bodies were touching, and their faces only a tiny distance apart, and they could feel each other’s breaths on their skin. Damien took a moment to look down at Kai’s face as they tried to read the weirdly angled sheet of paper. He could stare at their face for hours, sometimes has. Every now and then, if they see a movie, he’ll spend most of the time watching their reactions and how their emotions change their face and- seriously, hours. He stared at them now, their smile wide as they squirmed. He imagined keeping them pinned down and catching their lips in his. He imagined wrapping his arms around them right now and kissing their lips over and over and over again. He licked his lips quickly and leaned a bit closer before gaining control over himself and reaching up higher, but to no avail. Kai snorted at him and he squinted his eyes in response. “I will win.” They mumbled and Damien shook his head. “Not on my watch.” He moved his body off of theirs and instead climbed on top of the cabinet, snatching the paper from their hands and sitting on top of the chest of drawers, leaning his back against the wall and sighing with relief. He let his legs dangled over the edge and he folded the paper up into a tiny size before putting it in his back pocket. Kai huffed and folded their arms and Damien, breathless, stuck his tongue out in response. He looked at them for a moment, seeing the disappointment in their face, and felt guilty. “Fine…” He said after a moment of silence. He rolled his eyes and jumped down, rummaging through the pieces of paper and handing his friend one of them. “That’s one I’m okay with you reading. But if you dare tell anyone about these…” He trailed off as Kai’s smile widened and made him love fall in love with them again. He felt the familiar warmth and tightness in his chest and his throat felt as though it had constricted. Heat started to rise to his cheeks and he quickly looked away. “Yeah, don’t tell anyone. Out of the two of us, I’m the one with a gun.” He said quickly, feeling a stabbing pain in his chest when they laughed. Just as he moved to close the drawer, Kai wrapped their arms around him tightly. He froze and clenched his jaw closed before wrapping one arm around them. They had no idea what they were doing to him. He closed his eyes and sighed before moving to shut the drawer. “I’m getting locks on this tomorrow. I’m not joking.” He said, whilst Kai’s eyes scanned the page he gave them.

He’ll never be okay again - Not by the Spring, When the flowers bloom, Nor by the Summer, [...]

Damien watched Kai’s eyebrows furrow as they read it through. He stared at their perfect features illuminated by the small amount of light in his apartment. He appreciated the silence they gave and how respectful they were of his work. He had to look away again and gave himself something to do as they continued to read. He changed the TV channel back to the radio station he was playing earlier when he wrote about Kai, Astro Zombies by The Misfits playing now. He played the radio station earlier for some nostalgia- and as he was dancing through his apartment, the Buzzcocks’ song stuck out to him as something he could relate to. Something… inspiring. He got his glasses and a biro and started scribbling out the poem.

Kai was still silently reading this one, one written about his partner from years ago, rewritten recently. He hardly related to it anymore, but was determined to make it better.

[...] When the radios boom, Nor by the Autumn, When the clouds loom, Nor by next Winter,

Never again.

Kai bit their lip as it quivered a bit. He’ll never be okay again. Kai wished they could make him okay. They wished they could just say it and for once he would actually believe it. They longed to be able to come home to him and be able to hug him and to be able to count his drinks and tell him to slow down and to be able to tell him when he’s overworking himself- “Shit, are you okay?” Damien asked, a little panicked by the tear that dripped down their face. They smiled a little and nodded, unconvincingly, dropping down onto the couch. “I’m sorry, perhaps I should have found a more uplifting one for you-” “It’s about you, right?” Kai asked, taking Damien by surprise. He looked down and simply shrugged. “He? He is you, right?” They asked again, more insistent. Damien sat up on the sofa, muting the TV. “Yes, but it’s okay now.” “Are you sure about that?” Kai turned to him and he looked around, avoiding eye contact. “Yeah, why not?” He said in a lighthearted tone. Kai just stared at him. “Okay, well I’m better about the subject, at least. It doesn’t weigh me down as much. I’m fine, honest, I’m fine.”

Kai stared at his face a little longer. They just wanted to lean into him, cup his face and kiss him to say I know you aren't alright but I want to help fix that. He wanted the same, and subconsciously leaned towards them in anticipation. He wondered if their lips would feel as soft as they looked. He wished he could find out, just lean a little closer… He moved back again. “Anyways, let’s never mention my… writing… ever again, and let’s watch this show.” He said, changing the channel back and unmuting it. The title credits were rolling and he rested his chin on his fist again, glancing over at Kai who wiped their eyes clean and settled down to watch. The words in his pocket felt burnt into him as the darn song repeated in his head.

I’m trapped And you could never know. I’m wrapped Up in fantasies. Too slow.

I’m out of the picture, A dirty wreck living in reverse Because if I say, I risk losing you And that is far worse.

I’ve fallen in love with someone I shouldn’t have- I’m lost for words and spend every night alone Thinking about how they smile And how their arms feel like home.

But if I were ever to say that, I’d break everything. And if I stay silent, I break myself. There really is no winning, So, I guess I’ll just stay stealth

About how I’ve fallen in love with you And I know that I shouldn’t have- But the way you say my name Makes me wish you’d feel it back.

And when I look into your eyes It makes me feel like dirt, Because you are everything perfect And there is so much more that you deserve.

You deserve this “perfect match” And you deserve to have a good friend. And though, holy fuck, Kai, it hurts, I’d never want it to end.

A/N: Hi! I've never ever publicly posted fanfiction before so I guess this is new? Anyways, I'm a writer and poet, so if you want to request anything just let me know and I'd be glad to write you something when I can! I've currently only played Perfect Match and The Freshman/Sophomore/Junior (what a disappointing start to the Junior am I right lmao), and I'm playing a few more (currently developing a love for Drake 😍). If you're interested in other writing/poetry let me know and I can link my wattpad???

Thanks for reading if you did! - Cj

[alarriefantasy]

Do you have a footie!louis rec?? I really love ones where he is a professional player. Thank you!!

YES, I DO! Here you go, darling!! :) :) :)

                                      Football Louis Fic Rec

I made a map of your stars by brightbluelou

Words: 5k

or, Harry is the shy boy in the back of the class that no one really notices. Louis is the loud, outgoing football player that everybody likes.

I Long For You by itsprobablylarry

Words: 6k

Harry gets hit in the head by various objects and falls for a boy with blue eyes.

say i hate you but i always stay by clicheanna 

Words: 8k

Or the one where Harry hates Louis, he's almost sure Louis hates him, and they live together. Driving him to football practice everyday is not apart of Harry's plans, but Louis is pretty adamant if it means annoying Harry.

Satan's Got a New Headscarf by larryscape

Words: 9k

Louis: senior captain of the uni football team, president of the literary magazine club, possible theatre major, official loather of anyone who acts a certain way just to fit the theme of their Tumblr

Zayn: senior, does not understand sports, claims to not be addicted to cigarettes, is addicted to cigarettes, proud roommate and bestfriend of Louis

Liam: junior, best friend of Niall Horan and also spell-check, shows up at literary magazine club but has yet to publish anything that does not look like the twitter page of a twelve-year-old

Niall: junior, famous for sonnets about bacon and other breakfast-related items, says he is on the football team, is not really on the football team

Harry: sophomore, wearer of headscarves and skinny jeans, apparent fan of 20th century poetry, unsurprisingly dabbles in the ukulele

we're the new romantics by lovefern 

Words: 16k

Alternatively, a high school au where Louis pines and Harry is not who he seems to be. Featuring peanut butter banana milkshakes, motorcycles, and first times.

say that you can see me (i'll speak up i swear) by coffeelouis 

Words: 20k

or, the liberal arts COLLEGE AU where Harry knows Louis as the best friend of the boy he has been hopelessly in love with for years now and Louis knows Harry as this boy he wished would look away from Zayn long enough to notice him.

Monsters at Home by theteapirate

Words: 21k

High School!AU. Everyone's eyes are on Harry, the beautiful, charming new student. Harry's only got eyes for the school golden boy: football captain Louis Tomlinson, whose homophobic father complicates matters a bit.

Ain't That A Kick In The Head! by lesbianharrie, wreckingtomlinson

Words: 22k

In which Harry’s a disaster gay who doesn’t know shit about soccer, Liam drinks too many blue raspberry Coolattas, Niall knows everyone, Zayn looks dead, and Louis is Not Happy about sharing his breakout moment with “Drunk Hawaiian Guy.”

Barefoot in Blue Jeans by indiaalphawhiskey

Words: 24k

AU. Louis Tomlinson is trying desperately hard not to fall for his son’s au pair, but he can’t, for the life of him, remember why.

Find Another One, Cause She Belongs To Me by AFangirlFantasy, larrysfootballfairy

Words: 25k

or a Girl Direction Uni AU, where Louis is desperately in love with her best friend Harry, who might not be as straight as she thought, Ziam can't fool anyone, and Niall is just happy with football being her only relationship.

You Make Me Want To Sin by lonelymisfit

Words: 28k

Or the very bregruding college AU where Louis is a bad ass frat boy and Harry is a shy and conservative catholic boy who wants to know whether Louis can show him what else he can do on his knees besides pray.

so grab your passport and my hand by infinitelymint

Words: 32k

The one in which Louis plays football and Harry sings a lot, and somehow that means they're meant to be. They'll figure it out soon enough.

Galileo by 13ways

Words: 63k

Louis was captain of the state championship high school soccer team. Harry was that gorgeous, scarf-wearing, long-limbed British kid in his art class. They weren't supposed to be friends.

But somewhere along the line, Louis Tomlinson opened the locked mystery that was Harry Styles.

I hear you calling in the dead of night by Thelonelycoast

Words: 72k

No one really notices Marcel Styles. In fact, Marcel’s so invisible that if his teachers don’t call on him in lessons - and they rarely do - Marcel can go whole days without speaking to anyone other than his mum, his sister, Gemma, his cat, Dusty and the school librarian, Alma. And if he just so happens to have a tiny, miniscule crush on the footie captain, Louis Tomlinson, well, that’s no one’s business but his own. Until Louis notices him back...

This Offer Stands Forever by Tomlinsontoes

Words: 78k

Harry is who high school kids would define as a nerd, he loved going to class and studying, he was just good at school work and saw nothing wrong with liking it. He signs up to tutor students at the middle school down the road where he ends up helping Lottie Tomlinson, younger sister to the ever popular and gorgeous Louis Tomlinson who is also a senior and in a few classes of Harry's. Harry might have a crush on him and not so sure how to act around Louis but hopes he can get close to the other boy and learn everything about him.

i want you so much (but i hate your guts) by becauselarry

Words: 83k

AU in which Louis gets accepted to play for the Manchester University Alpha-Beta Football Team. The only problem: Louis is actually an Omega. He is determined to make it big in the football world, though, and he can't do that bound to an Omega team. With the help of a faked doctor's certificate and some pretty strong suppressants he is ready to fight for his dream.

That Harry Styles (Alpha, second year and youngest football captain of the A-B team in ages) doesn't seem to like him complicates matters, though.

Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow by 1Diamondinthesun 

Words: 84k

Harry spends most of his time in an empty house or a lonely darkroom, dreaming of leaving his small town for art school. He's invisible to most people. And then Louis Tomlinson sees him. Life will never be the same.

Or, the American high school AU loosely inspired by She's All That.

Bring Your Body Baby (I Could Bring You Fame)by theboyfriendstagram

Words: 84k

A self-indulgent AU that takes place over the summer of 2015. 18 year old Harry hates pining after people he can't have, and 23 year old footballer Louis loves flirting with people even though it never means anything.

For Reasons Wretched and Divine by indiaalphawhiskey

Words: 94k

Ten years ago, Harry Styles was just a nerdy kid with one friend and a debilitating crush on the captain of his school’s football team. He thought the stars were smiling down on him the day he and Louis Tomlinson were paired for their end-of-term Literature project. But because Harry’s life is decidedly not a fairytale, the budding friendship quickly leads to the least happy ending of all time.

Now, Harry Styles is a household name. Barely twenty-seven with two Grammy nominations to his name, the singer-songwriter is poised to take the music industry by storm with his highly anticipated third album. So, what happens when the best producer in the business is also the only person Harry’s vowed never to speak to again?

Learning to Breathe by youcomecrash

Words: 110k

He’s playing football at one of the top universities in England and he should love everything about his life right now, but instead he’s moving backwards. How does your past fit into your present? Louis is still figuring it out.

Now In A Minute by thealmightyavocado

Words: 150k

13 feels like yesterday for many people, but for Louis it actually was.

More than anything in the world, Louis Tomlinson dreams of growing up. Simply skipping over all of the awkward, embarrassing years of teenage existence and getting on with life. Real life.

So when thirteen-year-old Louis wakes up in the body of his thirty-year-old self, he expected everything in his adult life to be picture perfect. And maybe it is. He has it all…or so it seems.

Except his favorite person and lifelong best mate, Harry Styles, is totally missing from the equation and Louis doesn’t understand why. He has a lot of catching up to do and as adult life turns out to be more than what he bargained for, Louis can’t help wondering why a life that seemed so perfect, feels so empty.

Or the 13 going on 30 au that should have been done years ago.

Unbelievers by isthatyoularry

Words: 136k

It’s Louis’ senior year, and he’s dead set on doing it right. However, along with his pair of cleats, a healthy dose of sarcasm and his ridiculous best friend, he’s also got a complicated family, a terrifyingly uncertain future, and a mortal enemy making his life just that much worse. Mortal enemies “with benefits” was not exactly the plan.

Or: The one where Louis and Harry definitely aren’t friends, and football is everything.

Pull Me Under by zarah5

Words: 140k

AU. As the first British footballer to come out at the prime of his career, it helps that Louis Tomlinson is in a long-term, committed relationship. Even if that relationship is fake. (Featuring Niall as Louis' favourite teammate, Liam as Louis' agent, and Zayn as Liam's boyfriend, who just happens to be good friends with one Harry Styles.)

You've got to see yourself from far and wide by Emm77

Words: 286k

No Summary

[thelonerlife-blog]

13 Reasons Why

So in this post, I’ll talk about my opinions of the characters on the show (Not the book since the book didn’t expand so much on the other characters and  there are major I mean MAJOR differences between the book and the show)

SPOILERS BELOW

Worst to best

Bryce: Sick, Rapist, didn’t think what he did was wrong, believed that every girl wanted to be with him, bully, asshole. I need a dictionary to find every single horrible word in the dictionary to describe him.

Mr. Porter: how the hell is he a guidance counselor, told Hannah to move on after she was raped, He didn’t really care about kids being bullied but he only cares about his job, Do you remember how he told Tyler to figure out what he’s doing that makes the kids pick on him. Who fucking tells a bullied kid to do that!! I can write an essay on why I hate him.

Courtney: Only cares about herself, betrayed Hannah, RAPE APOLOGIST, Wanted to hide the fact that she’s gay even though her parents were gay ??, RAPE APOLOGIST, needed to be slapped every time she opened her mouth, fucking liar and further ruined Hannah’s reputation even though she knew that Hannah’s reputation was a fucking lie, RAPE APOLOGIST

Marcus : Only cares about himself, Tried to use Hannah, Would do anything to cover up his ass (like remember what he did with the Clay and the weed ), humiliated Hannah when she rejected him (fucking asshole), scum bag, selfish, he was always trying to stick with Bryce so he could get what he wanted. didn’t believe what he did was wrong

Justin Foley: He started the rumors and slut shaming that happened to Hannah and ruined her first kiss. Didn’t fucking try hard enough to stop Jessica from being raped, brainwashed Jessica to believe that Hannah was a liar, hid behind Bryce Walker, who fucking raped his girlfriend because he needed his money, who lies about someone being raped in order to protect them. The reason he’s under Courtney and Marcus is that he actually told the truth in the end and cut off his ties with Bryce while the other 2 remained shit.

Tyler: creep, stalker,, betrayed Hannah when he said that he deleted all the pics but actually had one and exposed Hannah and invaded her fucking privacy and made her feel like she was no longer safe. H said that clay was the last  one who  got the tapes which was a fucking dick move ; however, Clay shouldn’t have exposed him like that and the others overly bullied him and no one shouldn’t be bullied like that even if he was a creepy stalker and they drove him to insanity like he might shoot the fucking school because he was bullied and when tried looking for help Mr. Porter was a complete asshole to him. He’s still a fucking creep and stalker but it doesn’t make bullying him okay

Jess: a horrible best friend used the rumors and blamed Hannah for something stupid that Alex Standall did, thought Hannah was an attention whore and a liar on the tapes even though everyone else’s stories on the tapes were true on the tape was true, annoyed me with her excessive wildness. Didn’t deserve to get raped. Loved how she didn’t forgive Justin Liar Foley like you go girl and I really hope she gets better and gets her fucking shit together.

Zach: wants to be a marine biologist which is cute af, star basketball player, tried to make Hannah feel better, actually Kept the letter ; however, he actually hangs out with  the wrong people like BRYCE AND JUSTIN even though they are the reincarnations of the devil, makes stupid decisions like steal people’s compliments, tries to hide the tapes which is stupid as Alex Standall described him, “You’re just an entitled idiot who does, cruel stupid things even though you probably have a decent heart”. Also, he ignored Justin Foley who thought of him as his best friend when he needed a place to stay

Ryan: actual asshole, arrogant af, shouldn’t have published Hannah’s poem without her fucking consent even if he believed that it’s good as it’s her fucking thoughts. He betrayed Hannah's trust. However, his replies actually cracked me up when he reminded everyone how Bryce was a rapist and how he called out Courtney for being a rape apologist

Sheri: responsible for my baby Jeff’s death, didn’t report the accident even though Hannah begged her to report it ; however, in the end, she helped the elderly couple and reported herself to the police which was an amazing move, probably the only one on the tapes who wasn’t conspiring against Clay, lowkey shipped her with Clay.

Alex Standall: seriously wrote Hannah as best ass because he wanted to take revenge on Jessica for not having fucking sex with him, ruined his friendship with both of them; however he felt so fucking guilty about it and tried to be better, relatable character, he called out everyone for their shit, wanted for everyone to know the truth and to expose Bryce  for the fucking rapist he is, NOBODY CAUGHT THE SIGNS AND HE TRIED TO FUCKING COMMIT SUICIDE EVEN THOUGH THE SIGNS WERE SO FUCKING CLEAR. I really hope he survives

Clay Jensen: Took too damn long to finish the fucking tapes, his revenge shit was annoying af, problematic, should have been the better person and not exposed tyler, awkward af (even more than me), felt sorry for him when he listened to his tape, shouldn’t have blamed himself for what happened to Hannah, probably the only person who made Clay happy, felt sorry because he lost his best friend and his crush in the same month, actually believed Hannah and didn’t accuse her of being a liar, LOVED IT WHEN HE CONFRONTED BRYCE AND GOT THE 14TH TAPE LIKE THIS WAS SUCH A GREAT SCENE !!!, Loved how he tried to help Skye at the end of the show, really don’t want Tyler to shoot him, was sweet to many people including Jeff’s parents and Hannah's parents

Hannah Baker : a little over-dramatic, anyone who says that she didn’t resist Bryce enough can fucking fight me (yes, people actually say this ), shows you why slut shaming was wrong, really talented poet , didn’t deserve to die this way, needed to know that many people loved her, I was disappointed when the poetry guy told her to come back and that they missed her and she didn’t realize that people actually loved her and needed to survive, a little annoying tbh, she was surrounded by drama, deserved a proper funeral

TONY: was always there for Clay, followed Clay around to make sure he was okay, so sweet when realized that Clay was about to listen to his tape, respected Hannah’s wish, almost risked his relationship for Hannah, he could have actually ignored the whole thing but he didn’t, sweetheart, I loved his mustang, tolerated Clay’s mood swings, was very helpful to the Bakers, gave the tapes to the Bakers when he realized it was the right thing to do

JEFF ATKINS : He was very sweet to the cute little nerdy Clay Jensen, He deserved better, He wanted to get his grades better,  He deserved better, He wanted to help Clay become more social, He deserved better, He talked about Clay really well to his parents, He deserved better , He was a sweetheart, He deserved better , He was adorable, He deserved better, remember when he carried the drunk guy away from Clay and Hannah so they could have fun together, He deserved better , I needed him as a best friend, He deserved better, He didn’t deserve to die, He deserved better, He didn’t deserve to get blamed for drunk driving,   He deserved better, I loved him so fucking much,  He deserved better, He was the only pure soul on the show,  He deserved better

[petekey-party]

Secret valentine petekey? :D (don't be sad :( ...)

"Stop being a pussy and man the fuck up!" My dumbass of a best friend, Frank, said trying to get me to give the love note, that sounds like it was written by a thirteen year old girl, to my long time gay crush on the ever so popular, Pete Wentz. "It's not that easy. First I'd have to get past his wall of drooling girls and ass scratching jock friends. Even if I did make it past that I'd just end up being made fun of. Probably get milk and school pizza dumped on my head, and for the rest of my life be called some dumb sobriquet." I said sighing, poking at my school lunch with a bent fork. "Well your brother could probably do it for you. He's the loud one with the red hair, and a totally hot bod, right?" Frank said. "Yeah like Gerard would ever be that nice. When I was a kid he used to draw dicks on my school supplies so I would get the blame for it. I was like, eight! Plus how would he ever give it to Pete? He can't just go "Heya Pete! My gay, virgin nerd of younger brother has a rainbow crush on you, and it gets better! He made this love note for you out of glitter, jizz tissues, and his tears! He wants to ask you to the valentines dance but he's to much of pussy to ask himself, so I'm here giving his letter of destiny to you for him!" Yeah like that would go over well." I said. Frank bursts sour laughing. "Shit man good point," he wiped the tears forming in the corners of his eyes. "You and your brother are so different. He's so confident, and you're so quiet. You guys are polar opposite. Plus he's got a better ass. Is he into kinky shit like you? "God Frank! You're fucking gross. I feel like I just deep throated a rat's fucking nuclear dick! And I am NOT I repeat NOT into this so called "kinky shit"" I calmed down a bit. "Now back to the plan. I know Pete has gym class 5th period-" I was saying before Frank interrupted. "Wow you know his classes. That's not weird and obsessive." He said. I rolled my eyes in response, remembering the time last summer when he went as far as to track a girl's address and figure out which window was hers just so he could prove his external love to her or something."Anyway, as I was saying. While Pete is in gym I could put the letter in his gym locker." I continued. Saying it out loud did souls weird and obsessive. "Good. And then after he reads it he'll fall madly in love with you, and you guys will dance the night away together." Frank fluttered his eyelashes and said the last part in a mock "love struck teenage girl" voice. That's not what bugged me. I can't put my name on the letter. If he rejects he'll think I'm a creep. I can't have my one and olds true love thinking I'm a creep. I'll have to change my name and live in the sewers of Manhattan. "I can't put my name on the letter." I said abruptly. Frank started making chicken noises. "Oh go lay an egg!" I yelled at him. The bell rang signaling the end of lunch. "You can do this." I said to myself. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I repeated the same words over an over again. Half was through gym I went to go "use the bathroom". I got the letter out of my binder. It was in a soft purple color. How much gayer could I get. My heart was beating. My palms were sweating. I felt like I was being sent off to fight in war that I know I'd never come back from. I got the letter and put it in his locker in a way that I know he couldn't miss it. After that I ran and hoped nobody saw me. "Are you going to the basketball game tonight?" Gerard asks when we got home and into the kitchen, it being the place we first go to when we get home. "No. Why would I?" I asked. Gerard is up to something. "Well you're going to." Gerard said."And what will you do if I don't?" I asked rolling my eyes. "Because of you don't I'll tell Pete about your gay crush on him." Gerard said smirking. Fuck."Son of a bitch! How the fuck did you know Gerard?" I asked. I was about to go into panic mode. I'm already in panic mode. When am I not in fucking panic mode?! "I've heard you and your hot piece of ass friend Frank talk about him." Gerard said. "Why does it even matter to you? Is this part of your plan to rule the wold? Are you starting out small and just going bugger from there? What the fuck Gerard!" I was panicking. "Just relax scab boat," Gerard said Cooley. Scab boat. That ones new. I really don't want to go. I don't want to go places filled with teenagers. School is bad enough but a basketball game will be like the cafeteria only worse. I look like a homeless middle aged man with a love for tap dancing! Why would I want to leave the house? After awhile of panicking, it was time to go. Heard was wearing his tightest skinny and had been asking of Frank was going to be there. That's fucking nasty. My best friend and my brother. Blahhhh. When we got inside Gerard and I found a some room on the bleachers close to all his popular friends. "When Pete gets here he's sitting with us, and you're going to tell him that the letter was yours." Gerard said. What the fuck again?!"How'd you know about the letter?" I asked panicking. "Well duh! Everyone knows about the letter! It's like the hottest gossip right now "who wrote the romantic letter that stole the majestic Pete Wentz's heart away". I was just the only one who knew you well enough to know it was you who would write something as nerdy as that." Gerard said. "D-did he really like, actually liked my fucking stupid ass letter?" I asked, my cheeks going red. Gerard just simply nodded in response. "Oh look Pete's here!" Gerard said pointing to him and waiving him over. Pete arrived over to us and I felt like I was going to vomit up my dick somehow."Pete, hi! This is my brother Mikey. Okay I'm going to go get drinks stay right here." Gerard said. I couldn't tell if he left to let me talk to Pete or go fuck Frank. I didn't have time to think about it because the Pete Wentz was next to me. "How's it going, Mi-" before Pete could finish his sentence I took a big breath and blurted out. "I wrote the letter!" My cheeks were definitely bright red. Pete stared at me for a moment before doing the unexpected. He softly put his lips against mine. He kissed me with passion while I awkwardly sat there. He pulled away and my cheeks were probably even more red. "I'm so glad the letter came from a cute boy that I had already liked instead of some strange girl." Pete said. I was utterly confused by this. This has never happened before. My crush actually likes me back!"W-wait you like me?" I asked to be sure. "Well yeah. You were the cute, quiet you he'd brother of my loud best friend. I never talked to you because I always thought you were to smart for me." He said looking into my eyes. Instead of focusing on all the screaming and chanting going on around us, I just focused on Pete's pretty eyes."I want to do this properly!" Pete said standing up. I was confused by this, yet interested. Pete stood in front of my and took my hands. "Mikey Way. You have been my crush and truly one me over with your lovely words of poetry, and I want you to go to the valentines dance with me next week. What do ya say?" He asked. By now we had quite a few people around us watching us, not 100% sure with what was going on. "God and I thought I was the nerd!" I said smiling. Pete looked at me and put his head to the side a bit like a puppy would. "Yeah I'll go to the dance with you." And that's the story of how I became pregnant (lol jk)UneditedHey my dudes! The plot to this was bad but I think my written wasn't as bad as usually so.... yeah I guess. I have a few more asks to do but rn it's 12:01 and I need to try and sleep. G'night babes🌸

[surge42-blog]

StereNOtype

As the world around us change from politics, fashion, social issues etc so does the music we listen to. Today my fellow followers...oh wait, I have no followers so I guess I'm talking to myself right now...oh well, I would like to talk about the impact of stereotypes on hip-hop music. NERDY GEEKS & GEEKY NERDS --- Recently during yet another hip-hop related debate I saw someone in the comment sections say he doesn't like a rapper whose name I will not disclose is only for nerds...and he meant it in a bad way, and with the ambiguity of the words nerd and geek it was safe to say he referred to both of these words. His viewpoint was rather preposterous and here is why: Nerds/Geeks that are not part of the NERDCORE rap genre have been killing it in the rap game. Let me go way back to the 90's. In the East Coast, in New York to be precise, rose a hip-hop supergroup by the name of The Wu-Tang Clan. One of rap's best hip-hop collectives if not the best, the de facto leader of the group, RZA, has made it no secret that he is a Nerd/Geek. Before some guy hits me with a "how sway?" line let me explain. RZA has another side to him, an alter ego called Bobby Digital, his geeky/nerdy persona, but aside from the Bobby Digital stuff (I love saying Bobby Digital), RZA is already am extremely smart emcee, he loves comic books and watching martial arts flicks even incorporating it into his rap collective (in true otaku/fan boy fashion). Next on the list is Kanye West, the man who paved the way for future generations of nerds and geeks in the industry. At a time when rap was all about braggadocio and that street life, Kanye on the other hand took a different approach. He wanted to be true to himself as a geek/nerd so he thought "Since I ain't a gang banger how about I go with what I have". Years later Ye has cemented his spot as a legend. Soon many followed such as Lupe Fiasco with Food & Liquor, The Cool, and Tetsuo & Youth under his belt, and Childish Gambino with Camp, Because The Internet under his. And who can leave out Tyler, the Creator out of the equation? Heck even the now popular Lil Uzi Vert is a nerd/geek as referenced by his love for anime and the graphic novel Scott Pilgrim. QUEER EYE FOR THE RAP GUY --- Sexuality is one of the more cringeworthy topics to have amongst people,a topic many shy away from. I had a chat with a friend a while back about Frank Ocean, he would listen to Blonde a lot but be confused about "certain" lines. I explained to him that Frank Ocean is and always has been gay and never his it from anyone. At this realization he said "I'm deleting this album" and I did a mental smh when he said that. As we know rap is seen as the type of music thats heavily filled with braggadocio, machismo, and whatever other masculine phrase there is. In recent years we've seen the likes of Jaden Smith wear dresses, Young Thug wearing a dress on his album cover, and now rompers are now creeping into male society. A lot of people see these things and call it "gay" and use it as a reason to belittle a rappers music. Gay has been associated with weakness or in the case of rap weakness in lyrics as well. Last year (2016) we saw the rise of Young M.A (is it em aye? Or ma?) a lesbian femcee, she came into the mainstream with OOOUUU which has been remixed left and right and we gotta admit her cypher on BET slapped. We have Chance The Rapper's younger brother and fellow rapper, Taylor Bennett, open up about his sexuality (he's bisexual just so you know, even ILoveMakonnen has admitted to being bisexual. Former Black Eyed Pea, Fergie, is also bisexual...heck Angel Haze is pansexual for crying out loud and their music is good. They are examples that there is hope in the LGBTQ society in the industry. BLACK TO THE FUTURE --- Ahh and last but not least is the topic of race. Original "rap" was a fast spoken poetry used long ago that even Shakespeare might've dropped some bars himself back in his time. Modern rap emerged from New York as a form of expression by black people. Rap was that edgy sound equivalent to rock music, it was an infectious sound, but it wasn't a white sound. When Vanilla Ice picked up the mic we were not given some country tune or any guitar riffs but were given rap's funniest figures. No one expected Mr. Ice-Ice-Baby to even reach plastic, he went as far as reaching 7x platinum with no features. But one day a boy from the motor city itself, Detroit, Michigan came up, carried on the shoulders of Dr. Dre, it was none other than Eminem. The Rap God as he is referred to, in my youth I recall seeing him and Dre dressed up as Batman and Robin, and I giggled at "Ass Like That". But he has showed us that white people go hard too, we've seen an increase in white rappers such as Machine Gun Kelly, Slim Jesus, G-Eazy, and Lil Dicky (lol he said dicky). An interesting specimen is Logic, although not many will admit it some folks harbor hatred for Logic because they see him as the white kid who so trying too hard to be black (glares at Just on Bieber), some comparing him a cheap imitation of Cole and Kendrick for various reasons. This specific hate on Logic is, dare I say, illogical. In reality Logic's mother is white while his father is black. This is the exact same thing with J.Cole and Drake, both have white and black parents but people are fine with them because their features lean more towards the black side as opposed to Logic who looks more white than black. Bottom line here is that rap music is more than just boasting about women consuming your phallic body part, how manly you are, or how gangsta you are, it's a form of expression of the individual, like interpretive dance...but for the voice instead. Scroll down my tumblr for more articles and follow me....please follow me, I can't keep talking to myself like this lol.