#hopefully the resolution will be fluffier | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

blustersquall · 7 years ago

Text

hey, so here’s that thing I was writing and got angry at. I finished it because I had some kind words of encouragement and I wanted to try and finish something if just to prove to myself to could.

I’ll hopefully write a resolution to this eventually. And I’m not saying this is somewhat based on real-life events, but it’s sort of based off real life events...

@ffxv-ocs-unite @ffxvhoe @mp938368

Never in her life had Isla considered herself a jealous person.

She was used to the looks people gave Gladiolus when they saw him. Some appraising, some hungry. Some eyes just ate him up, other gazes looked as though they were undressing him. Isla learned to shrug them off fairly easily, after all, she was the one who shared his bed. She was the one who knew him inside and out. She was the one who held his heart - what did she have to be jealous about?

Only... she was.

She realised it with dawning horror, that for the first time in their relationship she was jealous. Jealous of Nessa, a recently arrived hunter in Lestallum who Gladiolus easily befriended. Nessa, who was tall, muscular, and quick. Nessa, with a head of burning auburn hair, and clear green eyes. She was jealous of Nessa, who had quickly risen in Gladiolus’s esteem with her fighting prowess and had become one of the regulars who accompanied him on daemon hunts.

Even now, Nessa sat at his side with the other hunters as they all drank to their success. The group of them, twelve in total, had been out dealing with the encroaching hordes for over a month. They only just arrived back, and the only word out of Gladiolus’s mouth to Isla had been “hi”.

Not a kiss, not a hug. Not even a brief mention of her name. Just a passing greeting as though she was a stranger.

She hated it. The restless anger bubbling inside her chest. The sickening sinking feeling that she was losing him and there was nothing she could do. The resentment that festered and grew day-by-day. Their laughter seemed to mock her every breath. They were part of a group she would always be on the outside of. After all, she wasn’t allowed to go on hunts. Cor, the fucking Immortal asshole, made it clear that her inexperience in the field made her a liability on hunts.

It didn’t matter that she hunted on her own before the darkness came. Didn’t matter she had over ten years of martial arts training under her belt. Nevermind she had proven, more than once, that she could hold her own in a fight. What Cor said stuck, and that meant while Gladiolus, the Glaives, and hunters were out fighting, she was stuck at home like a good, obedient civilian with Gladiolus’ dirty laundry.

Isla’s punching bag was showing the wear of her anger. Parts of it were patched up with duct tape where she’d hit it so hard, and in some places the filling had fallen out, leaving bits of it sagging sadly. It didn’t matter. Attacking the damn thing with her fists and her feet was the only way she could work out her frustrations. She’d been wailing on it for the better part of an hour after the image of Nessa cuddled so close to Gladiolus’ side made her almost vomit. Getting away, and out of her own head was the only course of action.

She was surprised to hear the door to the apartment open. She expected Gladiolus to stay down with his friends for another few hours, drinking and talking about things too lofty and far above her.

Even as the door closed, she kept punching.

“Hey Sunshine,” Gladiolus greeted her. He finally said more than a word, and he sounded cheerful. Isla clenched her fingers tighter into her fists and kept punching.

“Sunshine?” She heard the heavy drop of his bag on the floor. His gear. Dirty clothes covered in blood, and ichor. Grime, sweat... There was a niggling, biting thought at the back of her mind that the sweat might not all be Gladiolus’s... that there might be other stains amongst the ones she was used to. A sharp pain prickled behind her nose. The quiet rage numbed it and Isla unleashed a flurry of blows against the bag.

“Isles.” Gladiolus’s voice was closer now. He knew better than to step too close when she was... What was she doing? Training? For what? It wasn’t like she was ever allowed to fight. So what was the point?

“Isla.” His voice firm, Isla saw Gladious’s hand reaching for her in her periphery. On instinct she turned, throwing her right fist forward as if to strike an oncoming beast. Her fist hit his palm and he held her there, his own strength keeping her rage at bay. The energy from the force of her punch carried through causing Gladiolus’s arm to tremble the tiniest bit.

She wanted to hate him. It would make things so much easier if she could just switch off her emotions and hate him. Hate his warm eyes, at that moment full of concern and confusion. Hate his mouth, his lips, from which she’d heard countless declarations of love, and received endless kisses that cemented those declarations. It would be easier if she could hate his voice, hate his whole person. If she could hate his kindness, and the softness only she was privy too. The part of him he kept hidden.

But, she couldn’t. She loved him, and though he frustrated her, and she was angry, she would never be able to bring herself to hate him.

Tensing her fist, Isla retracted her hand and flexed her fingers. She was breathing hard, nostrils flared and only broke her gaze from his to examine the bindings around her knuckles. It was a rush job, and they were coming lose. Already she could see bruises forming on her knuckles. Her skin would be dry, and cracked, and bleeding for days.

“I’m going to have a shower.” She announced, turning quickly on one foot to march towards the bathroom.

“That’s it?” Gladiolus’s voice followed her, “not even a hello?”

The shudder that shot up Isla’s spine and made the hairs on the back of her neck stand to attention was not one of pleasure or excitement. It was the anger again, vigorously renewed. “You’ve been back for four hours - you could have said something.” She said, fighting to keep her voice still and the bubbling rage contained. “I’ve been down in the bar the whole time.”

“I didn’t see you.”

Her stomach turned. Was she really that inconsequential that he didn’t even see her in her own bar? The bar she named for him? The bar their home was situated over? Where else did he think she would be? She didn’t go anywhere. She didn’t have any friends. Her whole fucking life was wrapped up in The Shield’s Respite... he knew that and he ‘didn’t see her’.

She felt him approach more that saw him. His body mass invaded hers and when he ran the tips of his fingers down her bare arms, she flinched away without thinking. “I’m sweaty.”

“Don’t care,” Gladiolus tried again, a light skim of his fingers down her arms that normally would have made her pulse quicken, and her stomach flip with anticipation of what was to come. Now, there was only a rising sick feeling in her gullet. A feeling she tried to swallow back. Behind her, Gladiolus stepped closer and he nuzzled her hair. “Mhm, I missed you...”

Isla wanted to believe him. Gods, she wanted to fall into him and believe him. She wanted to feel his actions and hear his words and those be enough to put her doubts and anger in the ground. But it wasn’t enough. She swallowed hard, breathing steadily when he slid his fingers between hers. The painful prickle was back again pinching behind her nose, forcing Isla to clench her jaw. His lips pressed against the top of her back and it was like a bolt of lightning shooting through her, wracking her body with unbearable pain.

The floodgates opened and she jerked away.

“Stop.” She said the word, rather than spat it as she expected to, and it came from her mouth as little more than a whisper, though she might as well have shouted it given the way the atmosphere turned cold all of a sudden and Gladiolus stepped away, releasing her hands. “I said, I’m sweaty.” Isla kept her back to him, curling her hands at her sides.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Isla--”

“I’m going to have a shower.”

“Look at me.”

Isla took a deep breath. “I’m going to have a shower.” She repeated, her shoulders rising up to her ears.

“What’s going on? Why’re you actin’ so weird?” She could hear the gruffness of his voice as her behaviour started to grate on his nerves.

“I don’t know. Why didn’t you bother to say anything to me when you got back?” Isla’s words hung in the air like black icicles. She turned to face him, her whole body tight and tense, as if she was gearing up for a fight.

“I said, I didn’t see--”

“Bullshit.” Her interruption caught him off guard, that much was clear by the way Gladiolus’s eyes widened. “Where did you think I would be? I’m not exactly in high fucking demand.”

He ran his thumb and forefinger across his forehead. “Isla...”

“What?!”

“Can we not...” he gestured between them at the air, “do this? I’m only back for the night. We’re heading out again tomorrow. I don’t wanna spend my only time with you arguing.”

“Tonight?” Isla spluttered. Her thoughts scattered, fighting to reassemble into an order and unable to do so. He was back for a night? That was it? A night and then he was leaving again. Leaving with the hunters. Leaving with Nessa. “So...” Isla wanted to scream but it was impossible to organize her thoughts to be able to scream them. “Over a month away and I get to see you for less than twelve hours before you leave again?” She was surprised by the stillness of her voice.

“It’s how things are.” He shrugged.

“It’s how you make them.” She snarled back at him. “There are plenty of other hunters. Why do you have to go? Why can’t you stay, for once.”

“Because I have a job to do.”

“It’s because you want to be with Nessa,” Isla stated in a rush. Gladiolus’s eyes widened and she found herself tensing her jaw to fight the urge to pull the words back.

“What?” He seemed genuinely taken aback.

“She’s all over you, every time I see her with you she’s on you like a second skin. And you like her.” Isla was calm. Almost... eerily calm as she gave air to the things that had been weighing down on her. “You love the attention she gives you. You look at her and talk to her the way... The way you used to look and talk to me.”

“Isla.” His brows furrowed over his eyes, and Gladiolus crossed his arms.

“Are you going to deny it?” she asked him, just about able to hear herself over the blood thundering through her ears. “You spend more time with her than with me. You can’t seem to get away from me quick enough these days.”

“I can’t believe you’re jealous.”

He was trying to make light of the situation, and that only served to make her angrier. “Don’t pin this down on me being a pathetic, clinging girlfriend. I give you all the space you want. I never smother you, I never have. But what am I supposed to think? When I get left behind over, and over, and over again? I’m nothing but a glorified washerwoman to you.”

“That’s not true.”

“Isn’t it?” She matched his stance, folding her arms. “Am I just an inconvenience to you? I cramp your style? Is that why you keep me in Lestallum? So you can have your cake and eat it too?”

“Are... are you accusing me of cheating on you? With Nessa?”

Isla blinked slowly. She was... Gods, she was accusing him. “I guess.” She said eventually. “I get left behind all the time. I hardly hear from you when you’re gone. What am I supposed to think?”

“That I’m out fighting daemons to try and keep Eos safe until Noct returns!” He jabbed a finger at the window, baring his teeth. “That I’m doing what I can, with what resources I have to keep Lestallum running! I like you being here because I know you’re safe! If you were out hunting too I’d lose my fucking mind with worry.”

“You’re never here,” Isla said, biting back the tears threatening to well up in her eyes. “You come, you leave, and that’s it. I don’t see you. I don’t hear from you. I have more of a relationship with your dirty laundry than with you.”

Gladiolus scoffed. He slapped a hand over his face, turning on the spot while rubbing that hand over his eyes. “I can’t believe you think I’d cheat on you. Isla-- do you not trust me? Is that what this is?”

“No!” Her cheeks were flush, hot with anger and accusation. “I’ve never doubted you up until now.”

“So why now?”

“Nessa is all over you.”

“So, if Nessa wasn’t there, this wouldn’t be an issue?”

“It would still be an issue.” Isla threw her hands down in frustration. “I’m always left here. I can fight. I was a hunter before the darkness came. I know how to handle myself, and yet I’m left behind all the Gods damned time, and I hate it.”

“Did you miss the part where I said I would lose my mind if I knew you were out there fighting?”

“It didn’t matter before!”

“There are hordes of daemons, Isla! I don’t go out there because I enjoy it, or because I want to be away from you! I’m trying to do my part. Trying to protect the last few bastions of civilization against daemons. Trying to keep people safe! Trying to protect you! I’m a Shield, it’s what I do.”

“You’re not my shield! I don’t need protecting!”

They stood in silence, her last statement growing stagnant between them. Gladiolus was breathing heavily, brow creased in thought and in irritation. Isla’s chest heaved as though she’d been running. There was nothing else in her head to say. Everything that had been weighing on her had turned into something else. Her anger mutating into hateful words and spiteful jabs meant to wound and hurt. That wasn’t her. Her whole body was heavy, her stomach weighed like a stone anchoring her in place.

“I’m leaving in the morning,” Gladiolus said steadily. Coolly. Detached. “I’ll grab my shit now and pack it so it’s ready to go. I don’t wanna wake you when I leave.”

“Gladio...” Isla’s fingertips were cold.

“We’ll have to talk about this when I get back.” He said, glancing at her and then pulling his gaze away. “There’s clearly...” A sigh, a quick shake of his head and what he was saying was gone. “I can’t talk about this right now.”

Without another word, he walked from the hallway and into the living room. A moment later, Isla heard him pick up his bag and close the bedroom door. Her limbs regained feeling and she stood staring at the space he occupied only seconds before. The words she said immediately started to replay. The things she said, versus the things she meant to say. Things she said she could not take back. She didn’t follow him. She couldn’t. What could she say? She knew how seriously he took his duty as Shield, even without Noctis around. She knew how much of his identity weighed on that title - how it had moulded him and how much he valued it.

How could she spit on it like that? Spit on everything he was, and what being Shield meant to him? How could she repair the damage her words and her petty jealousy had caused?

Isla went into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. She waited, leaning on the frame and listening. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting. Him to knock on the bathroom door and request entry? Or perhaps she was waiting to hear the front door open and close. Perhaps she was expecting him to be gone when she was done in the shower... Or maybe that was what she hoped. That then she wouldn’t have to confront what was said.

After a few minutes, she heard Gladiolus moving around in the living room, probably sorting his dirty clothes out and unpacking, only to repack ready for the next morning. She hadn’t even asked how he was...

Her feet heavy, and her mind heavier still, Isla ran the shower and climbed in. It seemed futile to her now, to shower and wash, after all - no amount of soap or water could wash away the things she said.

I’m really bad at endings.

And I’m going to bed.

#Gladiolus Amicitia #Gladio Amicitia #FFXV #FF15 #Final Fantasy #final fantasy 15 #final fantasy xv #gladio x oc #isla octavia #gladio x isla #writing #short #based off real life events #this is why it's important to talk #communication is key #hopefully the resolution will be fluffier #maybe #it's an idea

35 notes · View notes

occasionaltouhou · 4 years ago

Photo

wow, a prompt !

also every time i write reimari it seems to get even fluffier. it’s giving me powers i didn’t even know i had

The relentless blizzard that had torn through the Forest of Magic for almost a month had begun to abate with the resolution of the incident that had caused it, and so Reimu and Marisa had begun work on clearing the snow that had almost buried the ordinary magician’s home.

It was still dark, dismal work; the Sun barely pierced through the thick layers of clouds even as nature returned to normal, and the snow was dense, dull, and constantly agitated by the remaining wind that endlessly scattered what remained.

But after hours of work, the roof was cleared, and the small house seemed to return to its former self, freed from its frozen burden.

Reimu collapsed into a snowdrift. “That was so rough…” she moaned. “I almost want to go complain to Okina again, just for that…”

“It wouldn’t have gotten so bad if you hadn’t been ignoring it, Reimu,” noted Marisa, leaning wearily on a shovel. “It’s as much your fault as hers, I figure.”

“How was I meant to know it was an incident?!” protested Reimu. “All I got at the shrine was nice weather!”

“The cherry blossoms were blooming and everything!” replied Marisa, gesturing. “‘Sides, I told you that it was getting really cold here! Something was clearly up!”

Reimu gestured a bit in response, then gave up, sinking further into her snowdrift. “I prefer it when the incident’s just someone causing a big mess,” she muttered. “Honestly, what gives Okina the right to go and do something like this…?”

“She’s one of the Sages, ain’t she?” Marisa shrugged. “I guess that lets her do what she likes, just like with Yukari.”

“Two Yukaris…” murmured Reimu, and shivered, an action that sent her even further into the snow.

Marisa grabbed her hand before she sunk any further, and pulled her up. “There’s still more work to be done,” she said brightly, “and you’re not getting out of it by freezing to death!”

Reimu continued to grumble, but accepted the hand and began dusting herself off. Marisa grinned at her.

“We’ll take a break for now, though,” she said. “I’ve got a reward for your hard work, too! Something special I picked up, that’s perfect for a day like today.”

“Something special…?”

Marisa’s grin widened, and she walked inside her little home, Reimu following shortly after. Reimu hadn’t been there in a while; mostly, Marisa came to her own home, and Reimu couldn’t really leave the Shrine too often. Ironically, it was only because Okina and her retainers were temporarily staying at the Shrine that she’d been able to make this trip.

Marisa’s home was always in disarray, and more now than ever; the rampaging blizzard had thrown everything off the walls, leaving the floor covered in battered, much-read books taken from the libraries of several of Gensokyo’s magicians, half a dozen scattered magical brooms, shattered glass and split plastic vials, and the pots, pans, and utensils that Marisa used to prepare her explosive magic. But even with the chaos -- or perhaps, because of it -- it felt lived in, in a way that Reimu’s sparse little Shrine never could.

“Sorry ‘bout the mess!” said Marisa. “Well, I was waiting for you to help me tidy it up, so--”

“You’re not too sorry, then,” replied Reimu lightly, picking up a book off the ground. Whatever had spilt on it had torn through the pages, leaving it half-eaten. She glanced at Marisa, but the other magician shrugged.

“I made sure I got all the important ones safe,” she said. “Patchy would really kill me if I damaged any of ‘em, after all. Then again, she might kill me anyway.”

Reimu dropped the ruined book back on the ground, stepping gingerly over the mess. “You should get Sakuya to tidy this up, not me,” she noted. “I’m sure she’s more used to tidying up magical messes.”

Marisa thought for a moment. “Might not be a bad idea, actually,” she mused. “But she wasn’t the one who trashed my house, was she?”

“Neither was I!” protested Reimu, and then sighed. “I’ll start tidying up whilst you get whatever it is you’re getting.”

“Huh?” started Marisa, and Reimu glanced at her in surprise. “Oh-- that’d be great, Reimu. Thanks.”

Reimu took one of the brooms from the floor and began to sweep whilst Marisa rattled around in the drawers, looking for something. Reimu was interested in what Marisa had in store, but was also worried; half the time when the magician said she had something special, it meant she’d prepared some new concoction made of suspicious mushrooms from the depths of the Forest of Magic.

--Well, hopefully the fact that the Forest was currently buried in snow meant that was less likely to be the case. But it wasn’t like the Forest was the only place she could find something weird, either…

Marisa seemed to have noticed her hesitant curiosity, because once she found whatever she was looking for, she grabbed a couple of pots, bolted into her smaller kitchen, almost unused in comparison to the magician’s laboratory in which Reimu stood, and shut the door behind her.

Reimu kept sweeping, and before long a sickly sweet aroma began to drift from the room beyond. She picked up another of the books, and examined it carefully; unlike the one she’d found earlier, this one was intact, if somewhat scuffed, so she placed it back onto the bookshelf. As she always inevitably did, she found her opinion of Marisa’s house moving from “homely” to “disorganised”, which always made her feel better about her own home.

She’d only managed to clean maybe a tenth of the mess on the floor of the room by the time Marisa came back, jumping over the shards of glass scattered across the ground and holding two mugs filled with a thick brown liquid that radiated that overpoweringly sweet scent.

Marisa handed one to Reimu, who smelt it suspiciously, then carefully took a sip.

She was quiet for a moment. “It’s chocolate.”

“It’s hot chocolate,” replied Marisa. “Kourin managed to get his hands on some.” She took a sip from her cup, then thought for a moment. “Actually, c’mon, it’ll be better outside.”

The two of them went out and sat on Marisa’s doorstep. The blustering winds that had swept the snow into a gale had become a gentle breeze, filling the air with floating snowflakes; the clouds had cleared ever-so-slightly, and the sunlight that pierced through the clouds turned the dull heaps of snow into a glittering white field.

“It’s nice,” murmured Reimu.

Marisa grinned. “Glad to hear! Apparently, you’ve gotta have some special chocolate for hot chocolate, and Kourin only gave me a little bit of it, so I had to get it perfect first go.” She took another sip, and laughed quietly. “I was actually saving it for a special occasion, but…”

“Sorry to make you waste it, then,” said Reimu quietly.

“Huh?” replied Marisa, surprised. “I’m not wasting it, I’m sharing it with you.”

“It’s not a special occasion, though,” said Reimu. She took another sip, letting the overly sweet taste linger on her tongue for a few moments. She so rarely had anything this sweet, and she was going to savour all of it.

“‘Course it’s a special occasion!” said Marisa cheerfully. “Because I’m sharing hot chocolate with you. What could be more special than that?”

The snow wasn’t so cold, suddenly, and it must have been the heat from the hot chocolate that rose to Reimu’s cheeks. As she watched, a snowflake drifted down into her cup and dissolved instantly.

--No, there wasn’t really any point denying it.

“I should have known you’d say that,” said Reimu softly. “But you’re right, of course.” She placed her hand on Marisa’s, and was gratified in finding the magician’s hand just as warm as her own. “I can’t think of anything more special than this.”

Now the magician was the one blushing, and for a single, special moment they sat there, lingering in that sweet warmth, and watching the snowflakes dance.

#touhou #reimu hakurei #marisa kirisame #reimari #occasional fics #occasional prompts #one day i'll write some reimari so fluffy it kills me. the dream

52 notes · View notes

fountainpenguin · 5 years ago

Text

2019 In Review

And so ends an exciting decade!

My main resolution in 2019 was to support more artists through commissions. I was able to reach out to several and receive some lovely art as a result. In a few years when I have an actual consistent income, I hope to commission even more.

I also fell into a more comfortable rhythm with my own art skills this year, trying to improve my sketching abilities, drawing speed, and not push myself to art when it��s difficult to find the motivation. At the beginning of this decade, my goal was to draw character profile art and story preview/cover images I could be proud of. Drawing backgrounds with Illustrator (or any digital art program) is still not on my to-do list for 2020, and I’m going to continue improving my anatomy and drawing speed this year.

In 2020, I intend to focus more on writing. I want to find new stories and leave more favorites and comments. I mostly read ‘fics for fandoms I’m not in, so I’m usually shy about leaving comments lest the author think I know anything about the characters beyond what they’ve written. This next year, I want to be more proactive in encouraging other writers by complimenting the things I enjoyed about their work, whether or not I’m actually in that fandom.

I also want to put my own writing out there more. I’ve been very self-conscious of promoting my own work, concerned I may come off as boasting or annoying, but I’ve since outgrown that fear. I’m going to make a habit of reblogging my ‘fic update announcements multiple times for multiple time zones and make ‘fic links as accessible as I can. At the end of each month, I’ll post a recap of fandom-related highlights from my blog so y’all can get a heads up if you missed something that interests you.

I’ve given more consideration to my update schedule and have confirmed that I don’t want to post ‘fic updates closer together than once every two weeks. Considering the length of the pieces I write, this is what works best for me (and probably you guys too). Updates will be posted either Tuesdays or Wednesdays depending on my schedule that week; sometimes I need more time to polish a piece, and pushing myself to post Tuesdays because “That’s my only chance until next week” didn’t work for me.

The upcoming FOP sideblog has helped MASSIVELY with my organization, and I hope you all find it useful too. Links to the sideblog ‘Fic Summaries and ‘Fic Chronology pages can be found in the header of my main blog and will be ready to go once the sideblog has its official release. Although it’s taken a lot of work, I’m extremely proud of the blog and how it’s helped me organize my notes as a writer. I might make private sideblogs to help with some of my original works in the future too. Tumblr is the perfect platform for what I like to use it for.

I had some great times with friends this year, from receiving wonderful asks and reviews to enjoying fellow writers’ works to collabing on big projects. I’m glad to have met others who share my interests and look forward to the future.

In 2020, I want to publish some of the Mario stories I’m working on. I’ve been building my worldbuilding for the Marioverse for the last two years and I’m eager to share it soon. Fairly OddParents is the fandom I like to work in when I want to challenge my writing and worldbuilding skills, and I’m hoping Mario can challenge my character fleshing skills more and encourage me to write fluffier, shorter pieces. I’d like to have more range in my writing since I feel inexperienced when it comes to short and cutesy things.

Finally, I really crave more engagement with you, my followers. I didn’t engage as much as I would have liked this year (largely because I closed my ask box for several months), so I am going to do all I can on my end to be more approachable and converse proactively with others. And, hopefully I’ll find the courage to reach out and make some more fandom friends.

Thanks for reading, see y’all next decade!

#New Year #Resolutions #writing goals #99% true as far as we remember #FAIRIES!#Mushrooms and more #ridwriting

5 notes · View notes