#horse racing isn't included because it sucks <3

[astrea16]

F1 drivers as equestrian disciplines

—an important analysis from a horse girl at heart

If you don't know shit about horseback riding, that's honestly great and I hope you can learn a thing or two from my brainrot.

Charles Leclerc: Show jumping

What’s more iconic than a good old obstacle course with dozens of sponsors plastered every five feet? Aside from Il Predestinato’s very marketable image (Longines is actually a huge sponsor in the industry and they make watches, so,,) I feel like this discipline perfectly reflects his skills as a driver. His raw talent makes him a ferocious threat over the course of one lap and his intelligence is an incredible asset to calculate the best trajectory and angles of attack. Show jumping is thrilling, stressful, and makes you hold your breath until the very last second—just like a good qualifying lap. I feel like Charles would love the attention of doing victory laps around the arena with one fist in the air before spraying everyone with champagne.

Lewis Hamilton: Dressage

I actually had to rethink this one and wonder whether or not I’d picked this discipline because he was British, but I think my point still stands. This man lives for his sport and for the crowds, and I honestly think that as long as his ass is in a car he would drive laps around an empty track all day. Dressage is majestic, it’s prestigious, regal, and the epitome of elegance. This discipline accepts nothing less than excellence and the judges are notorious for being extremely picky, rarely ever giving the maximum score to a movement. It may not look as impressive as show jumping and its counterparts, but it is undeniably just as intense. The goal is to make it seem effortless, like the rider is dancing with their horse and everything else has stopped existing. And look—we all know Lewis is a fashion icon, that one person everyone can’t help but look at when they enter the room. That’s what dressage feels like. It’s classy, sophisticated, sometimes a little bit pretentious—in short, the one that lives under the spotlights. I also think it’s too big of a coincidence that Isabell Werth—the most successful dressage rider of all time—holds the Olympic record of seven gold medals in all equestrian disciplines.

(Also: Nico gets the same assignment ;))

Lando Norris: Show jumping

Something about this guy reminds me of that one friend at the stables that would be there every competition weekend and whose biggest dream was to participate in the Olympics. And yes, that applies to the entire grid, but it feels more prominent for Lando who’s younger and a bit less experienced than some of the older drivers. I don’t want to call it innocence (especially because it must be long gone after five years at McLaren) but there’s something about him that hits you right in the feels and reminds you about the dreams you gave up on. He’s got the drive of a winner and a fun energy that I think suits show jumping quite well. I feel like sponsors would adore him and try to put his face everywhere—probably in an attempt to refresh their image.

Max Verstappen: Eventing

Intense, unforgiving, and hella dangerous, eventing is the perfect discipline for thrill-seekers and people who dislike staying in the same daily grind. Which is funny because we’re talking about Max Verstappen, the guy who spends all of his days glued to his sim chair, but let me explain. The strenuous nature of eventing doesn’t necessarily come from the exercises themselves but from the way they are arranged one after the other with little time to rest in between. This equestrian triathlon often takes place over three days: one day for dressage, one day for cross-country, and one day for show jumping. The goal is to challenge the athletes’ resilience and stamina with various tests. The first one, dressage, determines the ability of the rider to keep their horse in control and perform a series of movements in a relaxed manner. Cross-country is a test of strength. The athletes have to power through an outdoor course of around thirty natural obstacles within a given time range, while making sure that they are saving energy for the third day. Finally, show jumping requires precision and fitness, which—combined with all of the other skills required by eventing—make this discipline the most complete and challenging of all, and therefore the most suitable to our reigning champion imo. As much as I would rather praise other drivers, Max genuinely seems like he never has a bad day and just… knocks it out of the park every single time. And trust me, that’s not something you see often in any kind of sport. Besides, I can easily picture him covered in water and mud, galloping through the forest like a cannonball.

Lance Stroll: Polo

Polo is expensive, classy, luxurious—what more is there to say? Lance would make a great polo player, as long as he’s got the team spirit and isn’t afraid to potentially lose his kneecaps.

Zhou Guanyu: Hunter

Hunter is basically the athleticism of show jumping mixed with the elegance of dressage. The horse/rider combination is judged on their style and technique, and that also comes down to presentation. Both athletes must look neat and well-groomed and have excellent manners throughout the competition. As opposed to show jumping, which can get quite… extravagant at times, hunter isn’t about being the fastest. It’s about who’s got the best equitation and achieves the cleanest performance possible, and that’s why I think Zhou would absolutely slay in this discipline. (Note that my judgement isn’t actually based on his abilities as a driver but rather on his incredible outfits which I KNOW is awfully subjective, but I never claimed to be right in the first place.)

BONUS

Sebastian Vettel

I think Sebastian could have had a career in show jumping before realizing that it wasn’t his thing at all and he retired to do endurance or some western discipline, before getting dragged back into the industry by Charles Leclerc who quickly became his protégé. Although Seb is no longer competing, he’s basically Charles’s mentor and has a ton of tricks up his sleeve from his time as an Olympic rider. He’s actively against horse racing and when he’s not busy coaching, he probably likes to run off somewhere more peaceful—like in a farm lost in the depths of the countryside.

[horizonzerodawnaesthetic]

TBH, I wish Nil wasn't in HFW. My personal dislike for him aside, it sucks because we as players had the choice to decide his fate in HZD but then he pops up in HFW invalidating the choices made by some players. If Olin had appeared in HFW I'd be annoyed even though I personally spared him, I don't doubt others chose not to and I find it annoying that our choices in HZD didn't matter in HFW. The Witcher 3 allowed choices made in Witcher 2 to be imported over. What do you think?

I understand your reasoning, it can be pretty frustrating when games retcon a player's actions. It really would have been simple for a quick little questionnaire asking about your previous actions in the game. However, I think it would have been disappointing for the people who chose to spare Nil to not see him again. Even though keeping him ambiguous (as they did with Olin) could have made him a Schrodinger's Nil, I think there's a few reasons he's left alive.

1. His arc isn't over. Smarter people have said this better than me, but Nil has growth to be made. We've seen it between hzd and hfw, how he's found a way to get his kicks and his adrenaline pumping without actually killing anyone. it may be through semi-lethal robo-horse racing, but it's a step in the right direction for him, and although his role is lessened in fw compared to zd, I think it hints at more Nil to come. Though I will say, I think the reason he exists in fw (despite his possible death in zd) is really because Guerilla didn't think he'd be so goddamn loved. They may not have planned for a resurgence of Nil in the sequel, which is why his fate can be left up to the player in the first game. Then, once they saw how popular he was, they decided to include him in the sequel. I will at least give props for not just making him a throwaway, it seems hey really did put some care into his character in the Forbidden West.

2. Something said in one of the GAIA Casts has stuck with me since I heard it. They talked about how the current games are not our stories, they're Aloy's. That's what makes it different from an RPG, of course, but every choice in the game was one Aloy would make. An example they used is how you can't kill the guards or citizens, because Aloy wouldn't do that. Every choice offered to the player is one in a spectrum of choice Aloy would make, with some more likely than the others, but of course she can only actually choose one. So Now I suppose it comes down to this question, do you actually think Aloy would kill Nil? I'm sure that answer has a different response depending on who you ask, but personally, I don't think she would. Even if she does think Nil is a bit of a Problem, I think it may be hard for her to turn her bow on someone she fought beside, no matter the circumstance. Listening to the two dialogue options in Cause for Concern, she seems far more genuine when she decides not to kill him. She recognizes that he's not exactly.. well, but he is still a powerful ally, and she thinks he deserves a second chance (just as Avad did). If she accepts, she sounds far more resigned, with a "if this is the way it has to be" sort of outlook.

In the end, I think Nil's return in HFW makes logical sense, and even if does go against some player's actions, it still fits well into the narrative, and can even give insight into the Aloy of Zero Dawn.