#however i dont have much of a presence anymore so it may be difficult to sell myself ya know

[flamboyant-king]

I know im the funny haha comic person but i really do want to sell merch at conventions or online too ya know. Think that would be easier than doing commissions once a year pshh

[lost-inthedream]

Steamy rushed with Youngbin! Steamy rushed with Youngbin!!!

I can imagine that no one knows about your relationship yet. Maybe you two just didn't want the attention of the 8 others yet because you know how much mr leader will get teased and mocked for fun. Or more logically, the longer you keep it a secret the less likely it is to come out as a scandal that could hurt sf9s publicity. For now, it isn't a big deal to keep it on the down low. That is, for now.

You don't know how you got here, pushed up against the wall with Youngbin pressing himself against you... It was probably the hushed whispers and moments of eye contact that screamed, "I want to kiss you right now" even in the midst of conversation with others. You two try not to make it obvious, especially when around the members. However it becomes too difficult to resist the natural pull, the want to be close to one another and the feel of his presence and warmth beside you. You start to think that if you try to act natural around him, the members will still see right through you. At this point, you feel that the loving stares and overwhelming want to embrace or have his arm around you is too strong to suppress, so your mind chooses the best form of survival- Avoid.

This does not work out well. Your heart is on your sleeve when it comes to Youngbin. Acting otherwise just brings more attention to you, even though it is exactly what you were trying to avoid.

Youngbin stares at you from across the small table that you are standing around in a practice room. Rowoon to your left, Jaeyoon to your right, and Youngbin across. You break the eye contact to look at Rowoon, who is talking about his new favorite place for lunch that he found during the filming of his last drama. ".... I'll try and bring some to practice one day", you hear Rowoon say as you focused on the conversation. "Ooh sounds good!" You reply in a voice that is slightly too enthusiastic for how the tone of the conversation sat. Jaeyoon and Rowoon look at you with a small raise of their eyebrows. "Sorry, was a little distracted" you say to ease the awkward moment, "but it does sound good! I really want to try it." You only hope Youngbin doesn't notice how you are avoiding his glances and how it results in your awkwardness.

To your dismay, Youngbin speaks up, "Yeah it would be nice if you treated us since we missed you during your filming". A sly smirk appears on Youngbin's face as Rowoon looks down and scoffs with a smile. That one little remark beautifully lifts the tension and focus off of you and the mood of the table is now brighter.

The heads at the table turn to the door as someone walks in, Inseong. You see the rest of the members file into the practice room after him. That is your cue to leave so they may practice without any distractions. "Ah, I see it's time for practice. I'll see you guys later." You say to the room with a smile before you start making your way to the door. "I'll walk you out" Youngbin declares as he walks towards you, "I have to use the bathroom before we start anyways." The rest of the members wave and say their goodbyes with a hug here and there.

As soon as you and Youngbin exit the room and walk down the hallway, he looks behind him at the door of the practice room and sees that no one else came out after you two. Youngbin's hand gently takes yours. You look at him the moment of contact and stop walking, taking a look up and down the hallway you're in to make sure no one else is there. He tries to center you with his other hand on your cheek and says, "Hey I don't know how long I can do this anymore". You look at him with a confused expression and your eyebrows scrunched. He takes one look at your somewhat pouty face and turns around to pull you in another direction, hand still holding yours.

Your mind is scrambling as he's pulling you through the halls. You don't know what he is talking about. Does he want to break up? Is he upset? Doesn't want to do what anymore? As he stops walking, in another hallway that faces zero doors, you breathe out as you pull on his arm to face you, "Wait, Youngbin what are you talking about?" You look up at him, with confusion on your face and just the want to understand. He takes a step towards you. He brushes his thumb over your temple and his hand glides down to hold your chin, tilting your face up a bit. He looks from your eyes to your lips and says, "I don't know how long I can go without kissing you every time that I want to." He takes another step towards you that results in your back against the wall and little space between you and him, faces centimeters away from each other. "So this is why you dragged me through the halls of this building?" You question him with a smirk as his forehead meets yours and both of his hands now cradle your face, "I thought you had to use the bathroom". He lets out a soft chuckle, "Hey, no making fun of me. Little 'I was distracted' back there." he mocks you from the conversation earlier. Damn, you think, he did notice. You roll your eyes as you hold one of his wrists that are holding your face. "I just didn't want to make it obvious," you plead, "but I think, I overthink too much. It backfired on me." He smiles and as his lips are a breath away from yours, you hear, "then just stop thinking."

Then he kisses you, gentle and soft at first. It quickly turns into something with more heat as one of his hands goes to the wall and the other goes to your waist. What started as sweet kisses became warm and wet from the desire to feel each other. Not being able to hold one another or kiss throughout the day makes for steamy private sessions.

You're now holding his face with both hands trying to bring him as close as possible. Your body is tight against the wall as he presss his hips into you with every kiss. In the short instances taken for air you say mindlessly, "don't you have to be at practice". Kiss. "Yeah, I don't care." He replies with a kiss. You counter, "You should," Kiss, "you said you were just using the bathroom." Kiss. At that he breaks with his forehead on yours, both of your breaths labored. "Just a little more" he whispers as his hands go under your shirt and tease the skin at the waistline of your pants.

The kisses become hard, mouths just trying to devour each other's. Your desire to feel every part of him becomes a need. Youngbin begins to undo the front of your pants. You pause and your hands fly to his as you breathe out, "we are in a hallway." Your eyes close as you rest your head against the wall behind you. He litters kisses up your neck and works his way near your ear to whisper "I know, but we can hear if someone's coming and if a door opens," your hands relax against his as he sucks on the skin just beneath your ear. His hands firmly grip your hips as he slowly grinds against you, "No one walks through here a lot." That must be why you were dragged through multiple hallways before this started. You pull him back to you for a kiss before you agree, "ok but be quick. You have to get to practice."

I DONT KNOW WHY I WAS ANSWERING YOUR QUESTION AND THEN MY BRAIN THOUGHT OF THIS. THANK YOU FOR THE INSPIRATION. ENJOY, I AM 🤸‍♀️.

-TT

Omg you wilded on my inbox. I'm freaking out. This was so hot. When will you create your own blog and grace fantasies with your art??? Omg!! Now I want a secret relationship. Buddy!! Youngbin playing with the skin at the waistline of the reader's pant!! Idk why I'm screaming abt it. Okay, that's because I love suggestive touches

Aaah thank you for this ask

[masosade]

A Second Chance

“I would��ve dropped  you off at Neil’s, but he’s been trying my patience lately. So why bother? I am sure someone will come pick you up eventually.” Alice smiled coldly as she watched formerly half-of Maso take his first shaky steps out of the grimdark Office. The body she had salvaged from another unfortunate Stellan - one whose soul had been reincarnated after his young demise – had been patched up and handed down.

"And remember! If you ever come back to cuase trouble in the grimdark Office again, your death will be an exceptionally long and painful one!" Alice chirped, her fingernails digging into Stellan's shoulder painfully. He jerked back, wincing, and averted his eyes.  

“Perfect! I am glad we understand each other. Now, off you go, shoo!”

Stellan turned down the hallway. It was unfamiliar, looked like every other Office they’ve been to. With a sinking heart, he remembered he wouldn’t have Bradley here to guide him. He wished he would’ve paid more attention to their previous travels.

However, the things out there were most likely much better than what he was leaving behind. He felt Alice’s gaze linger a few seconds longer as he limped away, before she vanished back in her Office.

And then Stellan was alone.

His new body ached and stung from the stitches Jagger had put in after it had been rescued from a grave. Its eyes felt weak and its feet clumsily stumbled over each other. Either they had given him a second rate body to sit in, or he had to get used to having a body on his own for the first time in years.

It was ironic, actually. Stellan had dreamed of owning a very own body for himself on many occaisons, one where he could do what he want and go wherever, with no one else there to tell him what to do. Now he just felt cold and empty. He wished Bradley were here to fill the silence. When he reached out for that presence at the forefront of his mind, he felt nothing but hollow numbness, like tonguing a missing tooth.

Finally free and Stellan was fucking miserable.

He made his way down the hallways, taking random turns in whatever direction felt like it could lead him somewhere better. The Lounge sat empty, its seats covered in thick dust and the vending machine leaking with unidentifiable fluids. Not an abnormal sight to see, if rare, but some Offices shut down after their Stanleys and Narrators leave, or are killed, or kidnapped, or fall in love and move to another one, abandoning their original Offices.

It felt like the Universe took great joy in mocking Stellan, reminding him of how utterly alone he was. For the first time in years, he wanted to find a bottle that smelled as strongly as the juices drenching the Lounge’s carpets and drink it until he forgot everything but the burning in his throat. He had curbed his alcoholism nearly a decade prior, dreaming without it he could hold a good job, pull himself out of the mess his life had become and afford starting again in a better community.

Ever since he took the first step for change, accepting an office job promising to uphold a decent lifestyle, things haven’t stopped spiraling downwards.

‘Maybe I should’ve stayed a drunkard,’ Stellan thought bitterly as he focused on placing a foot in front of the other. Both the pain and the fogginess in his mind made it difficult to walk straight.

‘Ending up with liver poison and a friendly face per night would’ve been a much better fate. Hell, I could’ve met someone nice and spent an average life with them. But noo, I had to become a better person and start dreaming. And look where that got me.’

So wrapped up in his self loathing, Stellan didn’t notice another Stanley standing in the middle of the hallway until he nearly ran straight into him. In a flash, his thoughts had vanished and he couldn’t help stare.

The other Stanley...looked normal enough. He had the typical brown hair parted in the middle and messy with a morning look, warm brown eyes, and freckles scattered playfully on his nose. His employee outfit clean and nicely ironed; the nametag which read 'Hi! My name is Stanley!' looked new.

He looked normal but he didnt feel normal. This Office was abandoned, no doubt, so where had he come from? If he were a new Stanley, surely he would be frightened with the change of scenery and lack of directions.

Yet he simply stood there and smiled at Stellan, like they had agreed to meet up and Stanley was happy he came.

"Uhh?" Stellan tried and his vocal cords cringed at the unaccustomed strain. He coughed awkwardly and tried again, this time managing a hoarse mutter.

“H-hey, can you help me? I think I’m lost.”

"Of course I can help!" The Stanley said, his voice surprisingly gentle. He offered his hand for Stellan to take. "Come with me, I can take you somewhere safe!"

His eyes gleamed brightly in the dim hallway and for a moment Stellan wondered if he had stumbled upon another illusion of a Jonathan. Maybe it had been abandoned after the Narrator left and was never taken care of. But when Stellan hesitantly took his hand, it was warm and human to the touch. Not even Jonathan could imagine an illusion that felt so real.

The other Stanley beamed with joy and Stellan glanced away.

The Office looked even worse than Stellan had expected. Beyond the Lounge, as they headed back towards room 427, he noticed some rooms had their ceilings caved in, others with windows shattered. The left door was blocked completely with some filing cabinets but his mysterious guide didn't bat an eye at the havoc.

They turned into another hallway past room 420, and headed deeper. Stellan gave up trying to make sense of where they are going so he focused on the warm hand clutching his. It felt so foreign to be holding it and comforting at the same time.

“You’ve got a long journey behind you, don’t you?” The other Stanley said, sometime after they passed through another portal finally, into another Office. It smelled warm like a heated kitchen and no matter how hard Stellan looked, he couldnt find even one piece of stray paper on the ground.

“You dont know the half of it,” Stellan muttered. He tried to focus on walking, grateful for the hand clutching his. Without it he would’ve surely tripped over his own feet.

“I think I might,” Stanley said, smiling. Stellan shot him a questioning look, but he didn’t offer to elaborate.

“...did someone send you to get me?”

“This way.”

It’s been barely an hour, they couldn’t have known the exact moment I was released, could they?

Whoever they were. Countless of people around the Offices stuck their nosy noses in other people’s business. Stellan could name ten on the top of his head who may have had even the abandoned Offices bugged, grimdarks and the laboratories of one certain evil Narrator included.

Maybe it was desperation talking, or his inability to care about what pain could be further induced on him at this point, emotional or physical. But the other Stanley didnt feel evil. Even if he was mysterious, came out of nowhere and now held a tight grip to his hand as they wandered further into the hallway’s mazes.

If he wanted to hurt Stellan, he could have done it by now.

Unless he is taking you back to the laboratories, a tiny voice quipped.

I’m useless now. Bradley has the body, not me.

You’re not useless. Their whole experiments were centered around pain, werent they? Maybe they’re trying to see how far they can break you.

… then let them. I don’t give a shit anymore, and if they want to fuse me with more Bradleys. I’m tired. I don’t care.

Stanley stopped suddenly in front of a door. He turned back to Stellan and, while he never stopped smiling, it brightened when he looked at him.

“In here.” Stanley said.

“What…?” Stellan glanced at the door. “What’s in there?”

“Oh, didnt I already say? It’s a second chance for both of you.”

Both? Stellan stared in bewilderment and got a knowing smile as an answer.

Wait...

“...Bradley….Bradley is in there too?” How did he get past Alice and her security and her monsters to get him out? She was very clear in what she wanted to do with his other half and how she would maim anyone who tried to free Bradley of his ‘punishment’. Even if the ‘good guys’ wanted to save Bradley, it wouldnt make any sense. Stellan’s own alternate, one of those self proclaimed Office Heroes, even he took part in their capture.

“Life is more than hurting and getting hurt.” The other Stanley continued, infuriatingly vague. “We all have done things we regret, but it doesnt mean we need to suffer for the rest of our lives for it.”

He reached out and cupped his hands around Stellan’s face, and Stel startled at how warm they were. Ever snce Maso – no. Ever since the Office, the hands touching him had been cruel, painful. Cold fingers of scientists prodding, Jagger and his scalpels, agony created by Alice and his very own hands. And yet Stanley’s were so gentle, soft and merciful. Stellan leaned into the touch unconsciously.

His chest stung with an unwanted tightness.

“You’re going to be okay.” The Stanley said. “You and him. I promise.”

Stel was tempted to bite back with sarcasm, but it felt ungrateful to spoil his optimism with bitterness. Instead he hung his head, ashamed.

“We dont deserve a second chance,” he muttered. The hands withdrew from his face and even in the surprisingly warm Office air, Stel felt colder. He waited, but no reply came and when he looked  up again, the hallway was empty.

The other Stanley had vanished.

Stellan sighed and turned back to the door. It looked so simple a few minutes ago and now it seemed more daunting, at the thought of seeing him again. Bradley might blame him for leaving him alone, but Stellan was more afraid he wouldn’t hesitate a second if Bradley offered him a chance to come back.

Anything was better than suffering alone. At least Bradley understood him.

Stellan gathered up his nerves and reached out for the door handle. It stuck, forcing him to rattle it a few times before he managed to get it open. His heart beat hard in his throat.

Now or never, he thought. The door swung open and Stellan stepped inside.

A single desk lamp struggled to light the room, though its glow couldn't reach past the cramped corner in which the cot sat. On the cot, wrapped in a few dozens blankets crouched a figure. Stellan couldn't make out its features so he hesitantly tried a,

"Bradley?"

The figure shuddered. As Stellan took another careful step inside, letting the door swing shut behind him, it shifted and a tired, tear stricken face peered out from underneath the sheets.

Stellan froze and he could feel his heart sink to his stomach.

That wasn’t his Bradley.

[takingcourage]

The Start of Forever - Part 5

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Pairing: Drake x MC

Word Count: 2,387

Series Summary: The wedding has passed and the Duke and Duchess of Valtoria are free to begin their lives together away from the constraints of court. While honeymooning in Texas, they’re confronted with questions from their past that raise implications about their future. (Slight AU)

Chapter Summary: Drake and Jena spend some time alone after a difficult conversation with his mother. 

Author’s Note: Whew! Apologies for the unexpected hiatus on this story. Now that I have some free time again, I should be able to finish posting this story. I appreciate your patience through the long delay!

Tagging: @andy-loves-corgis, @carabeth, @speedyoperarascalparty

All things considered, Karen Walker had been rather more understanding than she’d expected. As Jena loaded her cereal bowl into the dishwasher, she thought back over the painstaking conversation that had ended less than an hour before.

Drake had not underestimated the effect that their news would have on his mother. On learning that her son had been given a duchy, color had drained slowly from the older woman’s face until a dull white shell was all that remained. In spite of her polite responses, the visceral reactions had been painful for all three of them.

Shortly after their previous discussion had finished, Karen had pulled Drake aside for a private word. After what she'd seen over the past eighteen hours, Jena could only hope that the woman was doing him no further damage.

She tried to convince herself that she’d done nothing but hurry along the inevitable, but guilt assailed her all the same. This certainly wasn’t the way she’d envisioned this day going. At this point, so much of their morning had been consumed by unpleasant conversation that she wondered if Drake would want to leave early for their night back in Dallas. She glanced a the stovetop clock, trying not to get her hopes up.

The quiet intonations from down the hall were at least somewhat reassuring. There had been no yelling -- of that was certain. If she was venturing to guess, she didn’t think she’d heard anything that sounded like crying either. Both seemed like signs in favor of productive conversation between mother and son.

Jena found a rag draped across the head of the faucet, dampened it, and set about clearing crumbs from the table. As she finished the final swipe across the width, she sensed a presence coming toward her.

“You don’t have to do that, Wittman.” The soft-spoken words startled out of her thoughts, despite her intuition.

“I know. But I needed something to do.” She cupped her hand underneath the cloth and shook the contents into a nearby trash can. “You doing okay?” Having rinsed the rag, she returned it to its former spot and rubbed her hands down the front of her jeans.

“Fine.” His brown eyes were trained on her, and she raised a quizzical brow as he opened and shut his mouth. Eventually, the words ventured forth. “Would you be interested in going riding? I was hoping to get the chance to show you around the ranch…”

“I’d like that a lot, actually,” she assured, still taking in his appearance.

Drake looked tired. It was evident in the exaggerated slackness of the skin around his eyes. A pang of guilt plagued her as she contrasted this with their time at the cabin. He’d been so peaceful there. After all of the stress she’d seen on that face in the past months, it sickened her to think that she’d been the cause of more.

“Good. We may as well get over to the stables. Have you ever actually saddled a horse, Wittman?” He raised his brow in challenge.

“No, but I think I’m about to learn how.” 

“Just as long as you don’t go scaring the horses. I don’t want to have to reenact that rescue from the derby.”

Jena scoffed at the slight, shaking her head in disbelief as she followed him out the front door. “You know that’s not how it happened, Walker.”

“Of course not,” he acquiesced, treating her to a half smile. She rolled her eyes and fell into step at his side, slipping her fingers into his. 

Jena had only ridden horses a few times during childhood, but she’d adjusted to the practice fairly quickly after coming to Cordonia. When she wasn’t taking day-long treks for foxhunting, she found that she actually enjoyed it very much -- especially when she was fortunate enough to have her husband’s company.

Riding around his family’s property spawned memories of exploring Valtoria with him on horseback, and she felt a pang of longing for their home. There was so much waiting for them when they returned. As much as she had enjoyed the honeymoon, some part of her was giddy at the thought of starting real life together.

Today, however, she was focused on Drake’s wellbeing. Other than the extremely thorough instructions as he’d guided her through the process of saddling the horses, he’d been fairly quiet since coming to find her in the kitchen. Jena's mind overflowed with words that could fill the silence, but nothing felt right. She breathed a grateful sigh when he chose to speak instead.

“I was pretty upset with you this morning, Wittman. I was sitting there drinking coffee and thinking that you were being unreasonable -- that you’d judged my mom too harshly. I’m not so sure anymore.”

The uncertainty in his voice halted her instinctive response. Jena breathed out slowly through her nose, biding her time in case there was more he wanted to say.

“I’ve never felt so angry with her before. She can doubt me all she wants, but doubting you -- I never thought she’d go that far. That’s a line she shouldn’t have crossed. I feel like I don’t even know her anymore...”

“For the record, I didn’t want to be right,” Jena admitted softly, grateful that they kept their horses at a relaxed pace so that she could meet his gaze. Her heart clenched at the distance in his deep brown eyes. “I just know what it’s like to defend someone who doesn’t deserve it. Finding out they’re not who you thought they were...it’s a hard pill to swallow.” She fiddled with the leather reins between her fingers, hoping that she was treading lightly enough to cause no offense.

“Your dad?” he asked simply.

Nodding, she met his eyes. The distant look gave way to a tenderness that mirrored her own worry for him, and she was struck by just how broken both of their families had been. “I wasted a lot of years making excuses for him, Drake. When I finally forgave him, it wasn’t because he’d done anything to deserve it. I just needed closure.” Drake stretched out a hand and she took it gratefully before continuing. “I don’t want you to have to go through all of that with your mom. I hope you’re able to figure things out and find a way to start over, but please don’t beat yourself up about it if you’re not.”

Her husband sighed, taking his time to respond as he turned his gaze to the horizon. “I sort of have to. I mean, dad’s not around any more. She doesn’t exactly have anyone else.”

Jena shook her head in an attempt to clear the conflicting emotions. She’d realized long ago that his protective instinct would have a propensity for getting them in trouble. She just hadn’t expected the trouble to take this form. “You always want to defend the people you care about, Drake. It’s one of the first things I noticed about you -- one of the things I love most about you too. But sometimes you have to think about protecting yourself. Sometimes that may even mean letting others protect you.”

“I don’t like to have people worrying about me.”

“We’ve been over this before…”

“I know. And sometimes having you around to worry about me is a good thing. I wouldn’t have come clean with my mom if it hadn’t been for you.”

“I hope it was the right decision.” She’d spent the past several hours second guessing her encouragement from the night before. “Did things...go okay?”

“Heh.”

She waited several moments, but he elaborated no further. “What’s that supposed to mean?” she ventured finally.

“Just that I think it’s going to take some time for her to adjust to the idea that I’m a noble and that I’m staying in Cordonia for good. But I think some part of her is proud too. Maybe someday she’ll come around to the idea that I’m not just wasting my life over there.”

“Does she really think that?” The words felt strangled as Jena worked them out of her throat. So many of her early interactions with Drake became clearer as she considered Karen’s likely influence.

He clicked his tongue to encourage the horse, but her question remained unanswered. Several paces later, he came to a sudden stop. Jena pulled the reins gently and dismounted to stand beside him in the tall grass.

“We’ll let the horses graze for a bit.”

She stroked the mare’s bony cheek and dropped the reins, putting her hands in her pockets instead. Squinting against the mid-morning sun, she followed Drake to a line of fencing nearby. Green stretched before them on every side, the light wind stirring long blades of grass into mesmerizing waves. She wondered vaguely if this was the sight that had enticed Karen to come back from Cordonia. Out here, in the warmth of late spring, it wasn’t hard to imagine the appeal that this land must have held.

Drake leaned against the nearest post, a wrinkle forming between his brows. With ease, Jena mounted the fence beside him, steadying herself with a certain hand.

Did I cross a line? Why hasn’t he answered my question? Jena hated the thought that her carelessness might have caused such distress. A week ago, she wouldn’t have been so bothered by the thought. Now, as this man’s wife, she felt some measure of responsibility to read his mind. The notion was ridiculous, but present nonetheless. Just as she was clearing her throat, he spoke.

“I’m not sure what my mother thinks anymore. She didn’t take it very well when I moved back to Cordonia. Wanted me to forge my own path instead of running back to the palace.”

“Do you ever regret it?”

“Going back?” At her nod, he continued. “I had a lot of questions at the time, but in a way, mom’s right. I’d been following Liam around for so long that it was easier to just settle back into that when I came back from the States. It took me a while to find where I belonged in all of it.  But no, I don’t regret it. Cordonia is home.”

“You’ve found your way now. And with or without the courtly graces, you’re still Drake Walker,” she beamed encouragingly. “I just wish your mom had taken the chance to get to who that man is.” A fresh sting of remorse accompanied the words, and she looped her fingers around the hand that rested beside her on the fence.

Drake interlocked his fingers with her own and lifted his face tentatively. “I think I’d like for her to get the chance to.”

Her pulse quickened at the meaning that underpinned his words. Biting her tongue, she shifted her weight toward him and took in his pensive expression.

“I don’t want to do anything you’re not comfortable with.” He hiked a hand through his hair. “But I’m not sure I’d ever forgive myself if I cut the relationship off completely. I’d always wonder if things could have been different. I’m not saying that I want to come out here for Christmases or anything, but--” preoccupied, he ceased speaking as she squeezed his hand. 

“I’ll support whatever you choose, Drake. I can’t say I have a very good first impression of her, but I respect how much she means to you. If I had any hope of my dad changing for the better, I’d probably make the same choice.” Her tone grew wistful at the impossible notion. “But I think we’re going to have to find a compromise. I don’t want you bending over backward to make her a part of our lives if she won’t even meet you halfway. You can’t do that to yourself, Drake.”

“Agreed.”

“So she’s going to have to understand that there are boundaries she can’t cross. It’s going to take some time for us to establish trust again.”

“Sounds fair to me,” he considered, stroking her knuckles with his thumb as he looked to her face. “She’s been through a lot, Jena. I don’t want to put her through more than she deserves.”

“I know,” she responded quickly to the flash of pain in his eyes. “But if she puts you through more than you deserve, she’ll have me to contend with.” Although her tone was light, they both knew that the threat was genuine.

He hoisted himself onto the fence beside her, dropping his hands to his sides. “I never thought I’d be so happy to get back to Valtoria, but I’m really looking forward to it.”

She offered a wry smile. “I am too. I know we’re going to try to work things out here, but I can’t wait to get back to Dallas and then home.”

“It’s the last night of our trip, Wittman. How do you want to spend it?”

“Seeing as it’s the last night of our honeymoon,” she emphasized, “I was thinking room service, hot tub, and…some drinks.”

“Now that’s a plan I can get behind.”

“I’m not going overboard though. We’ve got a day full of traveling tomorrow.”

“We’ll sleep it off on the plane.”

“Maybe you will," she joked, hopping down from the fence. “I’ll be awake for it all.”

“Even if I keep you up all night?”

Jena threw him a look over her shoulder. "That didn’t exactly work for the trip out here." He extended a hand toward her and she settled into the space between his legs, running her palms against toned thighs that were stretched taut from his heels pressing into the lower rail.

"I’ll take that as a challenge.” The glint in his eyes sent tendrils of heat through her core.

“Just keeping you on your toes, Walker.” 

Drake shook his head at her accompanying wink. 

“Ready when you are,” she announced, rising to the tips of her toes. Drake cradled her cheek in his hand and leaned into the kiss. His lips were soft and warm, heated by the morning sun. She snaked her arms around his waist and melted into him with pleasure. When she finally pulled away, it took several moments for her head to clear.

The kiss told her all she needed to know. They would make it through this.  Together. 

[dong-hyucks]

Intellectual ; Hyuk [pt!one]

Characters: Hyuk (Sanghyuk) / Reader / ft. VIXX Genre: Fluff near the end, slight (extremely slight... like you have to squint to see it) angst, College AU A/N: mind you i dont know how college works bc guYs Im fOuRtEeN

Masterlist || 1 | 2 | 3 |

    You sighed, fatigue filling your body and mind. You had been sitting through classes all day and you were tired. Thankfully the day’s almost over, you thought with a huff. Can’t wait to finally go home and pass out. You tapped your pencil on the desk, earning the exhausted glares from your peers. Truthfully, you had never truly been liked at school; much less at college.

    [Y/N]’s really dumb, they’d say, don’t hang around them. Though their words hurt, you didn’t really have the guts, nor the voice to stand up for yourself. Ever since you were in your last year of grade school, everyone had teased you and called you names. Dumb was one of the many.

    “As you all know, there are only two months left of school,” your English professor, Mr. Yoon, said near the end of class. “Now before you graduate, I have a bit of a project for you, as may your other teachers.” Mr. Yoon made his way to the large, wooden desk at the front. “Throughout the year, you’ve explored and learned about the English language. Now, you will take that knowledge and use it.”

    A collective hum loomed over the room. Your peers whispered to their neighbours, each a curious conversation. “You will be writing a story,” Mr. Yoon continued. “It can be as long as you’d like, but it must be at least five chapters long.” You bit back a smile. You always had a love for writing. Your older brother, who had taken Mr. Yoon’s course before, told you about this final project (which helped you choose his class.)

    Of course, you had written stories before. They, however, were in Korean, since you moved to Korea from [country] when you were five. The challenge of writing a story in English excited you.

    “This project will be done in pairs, which I have chosen.”

     Your happiness soon drained. Partners? You didn’t have any acquaintances in this class; no one even liked to talk to you.  “Before you complain, I have partnered you up based on who I think you will work well with.” Mr. Yoon glanced at the class over his thick-rimmed glasses. “You cannot switch partners.”

    You felt your stomach sink as he began to call names. It felt like an eternity before he called yours.

    “[Y/F/N] and Han Sanghyuk.”

    At that moment, you made eye contact with Chaerin, Sanghyuk’s hardcore admirer. She had a frown on her face, which many of her friends caught. Soon, they were all glaring at you whilst simultaneously comforting Chaerin. You gulped thickly, looking down at your lap nervously. 

    You knew who Sanghyuk was, well actually. He had been your classmate since your third year in high school, when he had transferred from Daejeon. Back then, you had a major crush on him. He was sweet, funny, and kind to everyone. Or so you thought. You were foolish back then, liking someone for who they seemed to be; not getting to know them.

    It didn’t take long after he transferred for him to jump on the bandwagon. Then, he too teased you and called you names. To you, he was just like the rest of them. A cold-hearted bully who didn’t care about how you, or anyone else felt.

    From then, you deemed everyone around you as selfish. Rude. Conceited. The list goes on.

    “Class dismissed,” Mr. Yoon said finally. Quickly packing up your things, hastily shoving them into your bag, you rushed out of the classroom, but not before you overheard Sanghyuk talking to his friend.

    Running a hand through his dyed ash blond hair, Sanghyuk frowned. “I can’t believe I have to be partners with [Y/N],” he muttered, shaking his head as he piled up his notes haphazardly. “I’m probably going to have to do the whole project by myself.”

    His friend, Hongbin, slapped him on the back. “Cheer up, man. It might not be that bad.”

    Not wanting to hear the rest of the conversation, you rushed home with a furrowed brow. You greeted your mom with null enthusiasm before trudging up the stairs and into your room. Despite being a college student, you still lived with your mom. It was mainly because you were worried about her health; she always had a weak immune system and as she grew older it got worse. Since she was constantly bedridden, you had to pay for the house yourself, which is hard as a college student.

    Thankfully, at the moment your mom was well. She hadn’t been sick for a few weeks now, but she forbid you say anything ‘in case you jinx it.’ 

    You let out a groan, burying yourself in your blanket. You were not excited about the project anymore, not in the slightest. Rolling onto your back, you stared up at the ceiling in wonder. You could remember laying down with your mom when you were younger, pretending the small bumps and grooves in the pristine, white ceiling were stars.

    Memories like that brought you peace.

    Suddenly, a thought hit you. You shot out of bed and headed for your laptop. After opening it, you started a new e-mail.

    Dear Mr. Yoon...

    Minutes later, you had successfully composed an e-mail expressing why you could not work with Sanghyuk. You also asked to work alone, as that would be best for you mentally.

    “[Y/N]! Come down for dinner,” you heard your mom called. Sighing, you sent the letter and headed downstairs.

    The next day, you received a reply from Mr. Yoon. It didn’t say anything about the project. In fact, it didn’t say much at all. All the e-mail had said was ‘come to class a bit earlier.’ You didn’t question it much. Perhaps he wanted to talk about the project in depth and in person. Shrugging it off, you did as told and came earlier than usual.

    Mr. Yoon was sat at his desk, hunched over the mess of papers atop of it. Knocking on the door to signal your presence, you entered the class. You weren’t used to it being so empty. You were often the last to arrive and the first to leave.

    Looking up, Mr. Yoon forced a smile, circling something, most likely a mark, before turning to you completely. “You’ve voiced your concerns to me about the project, as you know.” 

    Nodding slowly, you stopped in front of his desk. “I just don’t think we’ll be able to work together.”

    A moment of silence passed before Mr. Yoon leaned forward. “[Y/N], your mother contacted me at the beginning of this class.” You blinked, processing the newfound information slowly. “She mentioned that you aren’t exactly a people person.” You mentally groaned.

    As if he read your mind, Mr. Yoon chuckled. “Don’t worry, I’m not a people person either, yet here I am, teaching dozens of people five times a week.” He gave you a gentle smile, “I understand that it may be difficult for you to work with others. Not everyone can, and that’s fine. But as your teacher, I want to help you with this. Working with others is a necessary component in a successful life, something you’re probably tired of hearing.”

    “Both you and Sanghyuk are at the same level in your education, essentially. You both have very different personalities, something I’ve observed in the past few months, but when it comes to class you are both hard workers.” Mr. Yoon began to frown. “I’ve recently been informed that people have been calling you unintelligent.”

    You winced, nodding. “Who told you that?”

    Mr. Yoon pursed his lips, “no one. Anyway, I think this is a great opportunity to prove everyone wrong. I’m your teacher, I know you’re very intelligent. What better way to prove them wrong by getting the best grade in the class?”

    Chuckling, you shook your head. “I don’t think I’ll get the best grade, honestly.”

    He rolled his eyes. “Please, you’ve constantly been in the top three this year.”

    Clearing his throat, he glanced at the clock. There was only a minute or two until students would start filling the large class. “Now, enough of this ‘I want to work alone’ nonsense. Listen to what I’ve told you and think about it, alright?”

    As if on cue, Sanghyuk and Hongbin entered the room. You noticed right away that Sanghyuk definitely wasn’t in a good mood. He wore a major frown and glared at you before heading to his usual spot. Biting your lip, you made your way to the back, where you usually sat. 

    You mentally screamed. You couldn’t believe that you actually had to work with him for two months. 

    Soon enough, class was dismissed. Before you could bolt out of the room, you were stopped by Hongbin, who had grabbed onto your arm. Your heart began to race, your introvert self coming out. Apparently, your panic showed as Hongbin quickly released you, keeping you close however.

    “Calm down,” he said, raising a brow. “Hyuk just wanted me to stop you. He wants to start today.” Hyuk? Chuckling at your confused expression, he clarified. “Sanghyuk.”

    “[Y/N].”

    You jumped, turning around to face the voice, only to be met with someone’s chest. You stepped back and looked up, making eye contact with Sanghyuk. Only then did you realize just how tall the man was. “Give me your number.” He had his phone held out.

    You blinked. “I beg your pardon?”

    Sanghyuk rolled his eyes. “We’re partners for this project. We’re going to need to meet up at some point and we can’t do that if you’re so unwilling to communicate with me.” You flinched at his tone, along with his words. Muttering under your breath you took the phone, choosing to ignore his background, and added your number in his contacts. 

    You had to refrain yourself from snorting at the amount of girls he had in his contacts with the skull emoji next to their names.

    There was an uncomfortable silence as Sanghyuk typed something into his phone, both you and Hongbin watching him awkwardly. Your phone dinged. Taking it out, you scoffed at the message you received.

    “I’ve got to go,” you mumbled, adjusting your bag’s strap on your shoulder. “Just text me when you want to meet, I guess.” 

    With that, you were off. Seconds after you departed with the boys, your phone dinged once again. 

    (123) 456-7890 ; now     Today at 6. Text me your address

    You rolled your eyes at his straight-forwardness and kept on. “Hello,” your mom said from the kitchen once you got home. 

    “Hi,” you replied as you took off your sneakers. “Someone from school’s going to be over later for a project.” Reaching over to kiss your mom on the cheek, you headed up the stairs, sending your address to Sanghyuk as you did.

    It wasn’t long before Sanghyuk arrived at your house. Your mom had made a huge deal about it, evaluating the male once he took a step into your house. “He’s a looker,” your mom had said, much to your chagrin. You could’ve sworn, Sanghyuk blushed when she said that.

    Now, Sanghyuk sat in your room as the two of you brainstormed in silence. You had both agreed on a realistic plot line, though you had no idea what the plot line was. “What about a college student struggling to make ends meet?” Sanghyuk suggested after a while. “It’s realistic and definitely relatable.”

    You bit back a sarcastic laugh, “I can definitely relate,” you mumbled under your breath.

    “What?”

    Shaking your head, you sat back on your bed. “Nothing. Let’s do that.”

    Hours would pass, with you and Sanghyuk plotting out most of the story. By the time it was nine o’clock, all that was left to plot was the ending. Before you could even get to that, a knock sounded at your door. “Come in,” you called.

    Seconds later, your mom poked her head in. “[Y/N] dear, you haven’t eaten yet.” You nodded in confirmation, the feeling of hunger only just settling in your stomach. “Have you eaten yet, Sanghyuk?” she asked with a small smile.

    Sanghyuk straightened his back with a small shake of his head. “No, not yet Mrs. [L/N].” Your mom looked as if he had just offended her. She entered the room completely, hands on her hips.

    “Both of you need to eat to function properly, you know.” Despite her scolding words, her voice remained gentle, something you loved about her. “[Y/N], be a dear and come help me bring up some dinner for the two of you.” She paused. “Sanghyuk, are you allergic to anything?”

    When he shook his head no, she beamed. “Great!” she exclaimed with a clap. “[Y/N], come.”

    You put down your pencil on your desk, quickly escaping the room. You hadn’t even noticed that three hours had passed. Working with Sanghyuk was surprisingly easy. 

    While you prodded around the kitchen, your mom gave Sanghyuk an apologetic smile. “I would like to apologize on [Y/N]’s behalf.” Sanghyuk furrowed his brows. “They’re not exactly the most outspoken person, if you couldn’t tell. They’ve struggled quite a bit for as long as I can remember with speaking in front of others.” 

    Sanghyuk’s eyes widened when she began to bow her head, standing up immediately. “You don’t need to apologize,” he rushed, “working with [Y/N] has been great.” He reassured her. That’s a lie, he thought, it’s been awkward as hell.

    At his words, she looked as if she were about to cry tears of joy. “That’s good,” she sighed, “I’m always worried that [Y/N] will grow up to be alone. After their dad left, she couldn’t make any friends, sadly.”

    When she heard you call for her from the kitchen, she excused herself and left Sanghyuk alone. He frowned, thinking about what your mom had said. Before he could come to any conclusions, you re-entered the room, hands full with plates of food.

    Silently, he stood up and took the plates from your hands, placing them on the desk himself. You raised a brow at his sudden kind behaviour. “Did my mom tell you something?”

    Sanghyuk thought for a moment and he thought hard. “Can you tell me something?” he mumbled after a while. In response, you sat down and leaned back. “When I transferred all those years ago, everyone told me to stay away from you because of your intellectuality. How, or rather, why did that start?”

    The room went quiet. Sanghyuk kept his eyes glued to a grain of rice on the plate, unwilling to look you in the eye. After what seemed like forever, you opened your mouth to reply.

    “It started because the people around me are blinded by their selfish desires.”

[femaleidols]

hi!!! i'm curious as to how the admins feel about lip synching for performances? on one hand i think that the purpose of music shows is to show off the singing and dancing talents of idols (and if ppl just wanted to see the choreography/visual aspects there's the mv and dance practices) but on the other hand i can TOTALLY understand bc its really hard for even the best vocalists to sing well and dance at the same time. also, what is a good indicator that a performance has "live" singing?

see our thoughts under the cut! 💘

sullflower: I honestly don’t mind as long as they deliver a good performance. I prefer live singing at concerts tho. It definitely makes the performance more enjoyable plus you kinda paid for it. :-)

iyokans: (hiatus)

heonies: I honestly don’t care all that much if they sing live or not on music shows. They’re just for promoting the song and themselves whilst entertaining the fans. Some groups promote so often that they’d probably kill their voices if they sang 100% live every single time. Not to mention, everyone knows it’s near impossible to sound like you ate the cd when you’re dancing around, and trying to hype up the audience (also when you’ve barely rested/slept/eaten). Concerts, however, I believe they should be giving it their all since fans pay to see those. But anyway, so long as they can actually sing, and did record the song in the first place, it doesn’t phase me when they lip-sync/pre-record vocals.

jiaerrs: i like it when idols sing and dance live, but sometimes it’s better to hear lipsyncing when they’re not at their best vocally. i hate this idea of having your mic on is good enough [looks at the idols who shout and do adlibs that are off-key], and sometimes it’s better to hear prerecorded vocals than to hear someone cracking again for their high notes or someone “skrrting” for several minutes. also, it gives them a break bc you can damage your voice if you don’t let it rest. i think a good indicator on whether or not they’re singing live is to check how in sync the sound is to their mouths. you can catch literally anyone who does this, even those who you know can sing their asses off. also, you can check their throats to see if it’s vibrating and hearing the imperfections of every performance. if every live sounds the same, it probably was pre-recorded and reused. 

katypery: i personally prefer when idols sing and dance live so i stick to mr removed videos when i know they’re singing but the background music is too loud to hear their vocals. i don’t like watching performances when they’re lip synching even if their dance skills are considered good.

sunjis: i don’t really mind tbh. some groups focus on dancing, some on singing, some on both, and there’s no right or wrong. the most important thing is to deliver a good performance and promote their song.

lauxrent: I honestly don’t really care bc in the end more important is how the performance looks overall. Also a lot of really skilled singers find it hard to sing and dance simultaneously so I don’t think we should expect that from idols. I mean showing true vocal talent is nice sometimes and that’s why I like watching special stages with ballads and such but I don’t think that lip syncing during regular promotion is bad. Esp considering that they have a show every day and for each one they have to rerecord like five times. It’s certainly nice to see that some groups are able to do that, I just don’t think that inability to sing live AND dance means a lack of talent.

sooyulti: i understand lip synching only when an idol is sick, other than that, i don’t get why they should do it, especially if it’s a performance where they don’t dance. and a good indicator that a performance has live singing is the breathing? i mean, we can hear it when an idol is dancing (especially hard choreos) so i guess when we hear them breathing we can say it’s a live performance

wonhosoks:hmm idk i dont mind lip sync…maybe some are not confident enough yet? about their vocals idkk :/ but watching groups sing live isa bit more enjoyable to actually get to hear their voices

24kool:i personally have nothing against lip syncing in some performances, though i’d rather see more idols sing live. however, the reason they use it is completely understandable because i bet we all know how hard singing and dancing at the same time is!

1krystaljung: i dont really mind lip synching honestly… like ofc it’s better if it’s live but with such complex and difficult choreographies it’s understandable that a lot of groups lip sync. also i think a good indicator of live singing would be to watch mr removed performances? but idk!!

seuhgi: i enjoy the performances better when it’s not lipsync but i do understand they sometimes can’t focus on vocals and that they need to rest!

prkchaeyoung:personally, i don’t think there’s anything wrong with lip syncing. most idols are tired when they step on the stage, and there’s so many other factors to consider that go on behind the scenes that might affect their performances. most groups these days release acoustic covers and/or perform their songs without choreography to show off their vocals and i think that’s really smart. that way on stage they can emphasize their dancing and stage presence and in performances like that they can focus on their vocals. and personally, i’m more of a choreography/dancing kind of person so i don’t focus on vocals much so that may be why i don’t mind lip syncing that much. that being said however, i don’t think EVERY performance put on should be lip synced. for indicators of “live” singing, i would say if u can hear their breath, then it’s probably live.

jeonghsk: i don’t personally mind lipsync if they don’t do /all/ the time. i agree w/ u about ur points about the performance aspects and thatsometimes, it’s probably not best to have live singing and intense dance moves bc at least one of those will be lackingbut i do personally love live singing more from an audience perspective

monoka:i don’t really care anymore, because most groups doesn’t need “good vocals” anymore to get popular but if someone always live sings it’s a + i also respect every idol who manage to live sing esp if they are MAIN VOCALS. i’m glad to stan ggs that doesn’t lipsync 24/7 :-)

seulge: live performances aren’t meant to show talent or whatever. they’re meant to entertain. the only way you can know someone is singing well is when they’re standing still and not dancing. lip synching is such a non-issue, i wish more fans were calmer about it. it’s why mr removed videos prove absolutely nothing as well. and yeah, it is extremely difficult to sing well and dance at the same time, you need a lot of stamina for that. at the end of the day, even this live singing sounds tricky. the “they sound like in the studio!!” is so?? ok fine, but if in the studio they strain and have zero technique in singing, it doesn’t matter, cuz they gonna be just as bad and messy live too. so my opinion on live performances is that… idc whether they sing live or not. it’s there for show, for ratings etc etc. it’s meant to be fun, help promoting the songs and so on.

[love-god-forever]

Reach This Point, and We Will Never Fear to Fellowship in Gatherings

Grow in Christ | By Arong, Hong Kong

In the past, I often actively fellowshiped about my experience and knowledge of God’s words at meetings. But my emotions often swung because of my brothers’ and sisters’ different reactions. Whenever I saw them attentively listening to my fellowshiping and frequently nodding their approval, I would feel elated, whereas when I saw they didn’t respond to my fellowshiping, my heart would sink. However, I didn’t notice these revelations until one meeting.

A Sister’s Words Causing Me to Sink Into Passivity

At a meeting, both a sister and I were just about to fellowship. Just then, the sister beside me touched me on my hand and said to me, “Let’s speak less and listen more. They fellowshiped wonderfully. We can receive the light more.” At that time, I didn’t mind her words and thought that it was right to receive more new light from others’ fellowship. However, after I got back home, her words kept echoing in my mind. I thought the reason why she said so was certainly because my fellowship was deficient and thus she didn’t like to listen to me. Thinking of that, I immediately became very depressed in my spirit.

During the following meetings, whenever I wanted to start my fellowship, I would remember her words, and then I would wimp out with the thought that “I don’t know whether there is light in my understanding. If not, how will my sisters see me?” Especially when I saw my sisters were responsive to the fellowship of a sister, who has not believed in God for as long as I have, my spirit became more depressed. I thought, “My fellowshiping never won such approval. It must be that I didn’t fellowship as wonderfully as she. Forget it, I had best not speak, otherwise they will see that. It’s better to go home and equip myself with the truth. I should only fellowship when I have received much illumination at home.”

Afterward, as long as I was free I would read God’s words. Yet for some unknown reason, I simply could not quiet myself and I even felt increasingly muddle-headed when I read. Every time when I was on my way to attend meetings, I would tell myself in my heart, “This time I must start communicating, no matter what. Otherwise, how will my sisters see me?” But after I arrived at the meeting place, I would get very nervous. My whole mind would be occupied with thoughts of what I was supposed to say when it was my turn to fellowship. When I thought about that, I couldn’t receive any enlightenment of the Holy Spirit. So even if I read God’s words I didn’t understand anything. Once, a sister suddenly said to me, “Arong, we haven’t heard you fellowship of late. Please fellowship what you know. Let’s learn from each other.” Hearing that, I felt so embarrassed that my face was burning and my mind was blank. As a result, I was unable to say anything. So, I hurriedly found an excuse and left.

On my way home, I felt very upset and ill at ease. I thought, “Recently, my state has become increasingly worse. And I couldn’t receive the enlightenment of the Holy Spirit during the meetings. This time, I was even unable to communicate the truth. If this continues, what will my sisters think of me?” The more I thought of that, the more afraid I became, to the point that I was afraid to attend the following meetings.

So, after arriving home, I hurriedly came before God and prayed to Him, “O God! I don’t know what’s happening to me. When I read Your word, I was unable to absorb any of it. And I was unable to communicate any truths in today’s meeting. Now, I’m even afraid of attending meetings. O God! Please inspire and guide me, to have me understand Your will, and to know where I went wrong. May You help me. Amen!”

From God’s Words, I Understood the Root of My Passivity

Thank God for hearing my prayer. Several days later, Axue, a sister who got along well with me, came to visit me at home. I told her about my circumstances. Then she said, “I think you have been constrained by vanity. You have spent too much time worrying about what other people think of you. So you have no way to gain the work of the Holy Spirit and thus live in the darkness.” After hearing her words, I felt surprised, thinking, “Could it be that the reason why I couldn’t receive enlightenment is that I’ve lost the work of the Holy Spirit?” At that time, she read two passages of God’s words to me. God says, “There is a bad condition within man: depression, negativity, or weakness; or fragility; or good-for-nothingness; or persistent base intent; or always being in the thrall of worrying about face, selfish desires, and one’s own benefit; or low self-worth. There are some negative conditions in which you are always in thrall to these things. When you live within these vexing conditions, it’s very difficult for you to obtain the work of the Holy Spirit.”

“You must first surrender yourself and set aside the things that you love and treasure. If you do not set those aside but continue to carry those things while still seeking to make requests of God, can you gain the work of the Holy Spirit? The work of the Holy Spirit is conditional, and God is a God who hates evil and who is pure and holy. If people always carry these things and close themselves off from God, always refuse God’s work and guidance, then God will stop working in them” (“You Can Obtain Truth After Turning Your True Heart Over to God” in Records of Christ’s Talks).

Then she fellowshiped this, “From God’s words we know that when we are living in a wrong state, that is, our hearts are occupied with wrong intentions, desires and so on, the Holy Spirit will conceal Himself from us. Then we will not receive enlightenment and illumination when reading God’s words and naturally our spirits will wither and sink downward. If we don’t put these wrong intentions aside, even if we pray to God more, the Holy Spirit will not do work in us, because God is holy and knows our hearts. Take fellowshiping God’s words in gatherings, for example. If our intentions are not to exalt and testify God or to understand more truths, but to gain our brothers’ and sisters’ praise and approval or to make them look up to and admire us, how is it possible that God is pleased with us? How could the Holy Spirit work in us? Therefore, it is just because of our wrong intentions that God covers His face from us.”

I was astounded at her fellowshiping. Then I recalled my consistent performance at the meetings. When my sisters nodded their approval to my fellowshiping, I would feel elated; when they didn’t make any response to my fellowshiping, I would feel frustrated; when the sister suggested that I hear others’ communion more, I felt my fellowship was deficient in her eyes, so I didn’t dare to communicate God’s words anymore for fear that my fellowship wouldn’t be confirmed by others. As a result, I gave up communicating what I had been enlightened. Gradually, my spirit grew darker and darker. Even when the sister asked me by name to fellowship God’s words, I became so embarrassed that I found an excuse and then left. From my performance, I saw that when I was bound by face and status, I was living in the middle of Satan’s trickery. Though I was in the church, my heart was bound by Satan’s corrupt disposition. Thus how could I get the chance to receive the work of the Holy Spirit? No wonder that I did not receive any enlightenment or illumination when reading God’s words. It turned out that my intentions were indeed wrong.

Finding the Way to Practice

Afterward, Axue read two more passages of God’s words to me. God says, “Those who are capable of putting the truth into practice can accept God’s scrutiny in their actions, and when you accept God’s scrutiny, your heart is set right. If you only ever do things for others to see and do not accept God’s scrutiny, do you have God in your heart? People like this are without a God-fearing heart.”

“What are the behavioral manifestations of turning over one’s heart? What are specific actions involved? It is that you set aside these things that can bind you: face, reputation, and status. You set aside all these things that can hinder your coming into God’s presence. You are not carrying a burden but rather come into God’s presence with two empty hands to accept your duty and allow God to work in you and guide you. If you have this true heart, then as soon as God sees it, the Holy Spirit will work” (“You Can Obtain Truth After Turning Your True Heart Over to God” in Records of Christ’s Talks).

After she had finished reading from the word of God, she said, “God’s words point out to us the way of practice to shake off the binds of vanity. That is, when we speak or act, we should not care how others view us but rectify our motivations, pay attention to living in the presence of God—accepting God’s observation in everything and doing things in front of God. When we are aware that we have lived within face and status, we should actively pray to God, rely on Him and ask Him to help us leave behind our wrong intentions and desires. This way, when He sees our true heart, then the Holy Spirit will work on us and enlighten and guide us. Besides, we need to know, actually, that communicating God’s words at meetings is a way that we brothers and sisters learn from each other, because the enlightenment and guidance God gives us are different. If we can put our heart right to bear witness to God’s deeds in us in a simple-hearted way and to learn from others’ fellowshiping to improve upon our shortcomings, then we will gain much and our life will progress quickly.”

After hearing her fellowship, my heart felt light. So I offered my thanks to God in my heart. I knew God had listened to my prayer and found her to help me and let me know myself and know how to shake off the binds of vanity. Then I made a resolution: “From now on, I will not fellowship to gain others’ approval and esteem. Instead, I will put my heart right, do it in front of God and communicate only as much of God’s words as I understand and just concern myself with performing my duty.”

Breaking Through the Control of Face, My Heart Became Released and Free

Soon, a meeting day came. The brothers and sisters attending the meeting were more than before. Some of them were onsite, some online. Seeing that, I couldn’t help getting nervous. But I thought of God’s words I read before, so I told myself, “Put my heart right and accept God’s observation.” Then my heart became calm little by little. Accordingly, I felt God was always by my side, and as long as I was willing to practice the truth and betray my flesh in that environment, God would lead me to break through the bondage and control of vanity. Thus, I went to the restroom, hurriedly quieted my heart and prayed to God, “O God! In today’s meeting, I’m willing to put my heart right, and forsake my vanity. Please give me faith and courage so that I can suffer no restraint and have a simple and honest heart, communicate only as much of Your words as I understand, learn from others and thus get something out of the meeting.”

During the meeting, I obtained some light through pondering God’s words. Then I picked up the microphone and fellowshiped my understanding. During the process, I still felt somewhat nervous. But when I thought what I fellowshiped was the enlightenment of the Holy Spirit, which was bearing witness to God, I put my heart right and fellowshiped the truth in front of God. With that, I felt greatly relaxed and released, and it seemed that the massive stone that had been pressing down on my heart was suddenly lifted.

From then on, I was not bound by vanity anymore at meetings and I once again received the Holy Spirit’s work. Every time I fellowshiped my understanding of God’s words with my brothers and sisters, I felt incomparably sweet in my heart.

Reflections on My experience

Through that experience, I felt God’s genuineness. God is closer than we think. He is by our side all along, inseparable from us. When I was bound by vanity and fell into darkness, He found Sister Axue to help me so that I could understand His will; when I was willing to practice the truth to satisfy Him, He granted me power and led me to break through the bondage and shackle of vanity, so that I no longer felt constrained when fellowshiping at meetings. Reflecting on the whole process, I feel so happy because God was leading and accompanying me.

[bigdip2373236]

Back from the Future- Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Its hard to pinpoint exactly when it dawned upon me for the first time, but I think it was as I was relaxing in the hot tub room with Melia after I had fucked her for the first time. The realization hit me; I was essentially a god here in this primitive age of 2015. And, if I were to confine my time travels to the past from 2015, nothing could stop me from doing as I wanted. I had three beautiful women with me on board my all powerful craft, time was on my side- the technology given to me by the Jogany meant that I would not age for a couple of thousand years.

Instead of being down heartened by the destruction of Earth in my time, I had to seize the moment. Everything was in my favor! Time to buck up and enjoy myself, not waste my time wondering what if I went back and.... Also, time to make sure all three women understood they were with me now for good.

I sent Melia back to the room. I used the Computer to transport her there, rather than make her walk! I then leapt out and ordered Computer to dress me in standard uniform. I did not need to wear one anymore as my civilisation was dead but, it looked impressive none the less and was actually very comfortable and easy to move round in.

I sent a mental order to the women that they had 30 minutes to ready themselves. I opened a screen to see what they were up to. Joanna and Chloe were hugging, Chloe was thanking her for tending to her ass after the butt fucking I had given her earlier. Melia was humming to herself, dressing, looking strangely happy. Good, I thought. Just Joanna to worry about. Not that I needed to worry, I had full mind and body control over her if I wished. However, I would prefer it if the women would just submit to me on their own.

At the appointed time, I transported them all to join me in the command room. I sat in the command chair and I had Computer produce three comfy chairs for them to sit in. When we were all comfortable, with a cup of coffee in our hands, I began...

Ladies, I understand that it is difficult to accept your new positions so soon after you have arrived here. But, I am serious, you are here to stay now. No arguments or question about it. If you accept this willingly, life will become amazing for you. If not, well, you have seen how I am in charge and you cannot escape, even if you wish to. Now, you may speak if you wish. I said.

I am happy to stay. Chloe said.

Me... me too. said Melia, surprising me. I had to remember that she was naturally submissive.

That just left Joanna.

I understand that there is nothing I can do about it but I dont like it. Joanna said.

Fair enough, Joanna. I understand. Just give it a try and you might find that you actually start to enjoy yourself. I said.

Ok. I will. But only because I dont have any other choice. Joanna replied.

Thank you Joanna. Right enough talk of that. Lets have some fun as a demonstration of the capabilities of my craft. I want you to think of any event in history that might interest you and well go and see it. I said.

I let the ladies get over their shock and the inevitable disbelieving comments. During the time it had taken them to get ready I had made sure that Computer had a comprehensive list of dates, stretching back to when the Earth was formed.

The ladies were arguing good naturedly amongst themselves, when Melia spoke up,

Ive always wanted to see a dinosaur. she said.

What sort of dinosaur? I asked

A T-Rex! Melia replied excitedly.

Computer, can you lock onto a time when there were T-Rexs around? I asked, not because I did not think it could, more to impress the girls.

Computer replied in the affirmative. Make it happen please. I commanded

We are already there. Computer replied, I am locating a T-Rex for you now.

On screen, show maximum visibility. I ordered.

The entire front of the craft became transparent and we had the most magnificent view of ancient Earth. There were plenty of volcanoes smoking in the distance and vast herds of dinosaurs stretched out across the plain below us. No T-Rex though. The girls were all standing as close as they would to the view, sounds of amazement coming from all of them. It was pretty spectacular.

I have scanned and no T-Rex is on this part of the continent. Moving to where I have located one. Computer stated.

The craft moved across the landscape at a speed unimaginable to primitive humans. The ladies all took a step back and looked scared.

Ladies, this craft can fly well beyond light speed, this is nothing. Can you feel any movement? I asked

The girls realised that they could not and gradually moved back to the window.

It was breathtaking, the speed at which the land moved under us. Soon, we slowed down and lowered down to about 50 feet off the ground. There, below us was a real live T-Rex. I was impressive being so close to it. It was heading away from us but was totally unaware of our presence.

Computer, track its movements and transport us 100 feet in front of it on the ground. I ordered.

Suddenly, the four of us were standing on the ground with the T-Rex heading right for us. I had of course erected a force field around us, invisible to the girls and the T-Rex. The dinosaur came within 30 feet of us and stopped, noticing us for the first time. It must have seen our movement as it certainly couldnt smell us in the force field.

Ladies, trust me. Do not try and run away. Just stay close to me. I said to the worried girls.

Melia and Chloe were pressed up against me, shaking. Joanna had stepped behind me. The T-Rex moved forward again, much quicker, obviously about to attack us. I stood my ground. The T-Rex loomed over us and reached down with its jaws open. Its snout was stopped by the force field and it was an incredible sight to look up and see the open jaws trying to eat us, the dribble running off the side of the force field. The T-Rex was getting frustrated as it tried to get at us. I found it quite thrilling as I knew it could not get at us. The girls however, they were petrified. I was quite enjoying it, I had an arm round both Melia and Chloe as they huddled in to me. The T-Rex was now trying to push us with its head, giving us the most incredible close up of its eyes and nostrils! Joanna had now moved her arms around me and was gripping tightly, mashing her breasts up against my back. I was very happy at that moment, feeling close to the girls and having the most amazing experience with a dinosaur.

Eventually, the T-Rex realised that it was not going to get a meal with us and it moved away and was soon in the distance behind us. The girls all talked at once. The words incredible, amazing, terrifying etc were used. I was glad they were so enthused. Perhaps it was just what they needed? I knew what I needed now and after that incredible experience, it was sex.

I reached my hand down and fondled Melias bum as we stood there. The girls were all staring at the retreating dinosaur. I pulled Melia to me and kissed her passionately. Melia returned my passion with vigor. Obviously a bit of danger got her horny! I was rock hard and could feel my cock pressing against her belly. This was not the time for fore play! I guided Melia onto her hands and knees and pulled down the loose shorts she was wearing along with her panties. I positioned myself behind her and guided my cock into her drenched love tunnel. Melia was just as horny as I was. I began by slowly pushing my cock in and out of her cunt, smearing her juices up the length of my shaft.

It was at this point that Joanna and Chloe turned around as the dinosaur was out of sight. They both gasped as they saw me fucking Melia from behind on her hands and knees. I had now grabbed Melias hips and was rapidly sawing my cock in and out of her pussy, making her mewl. It felt so good sliding my cock in and out of her tight, juicy pussy. I looked back to Chloe and Joanna. Chloe had one hand down her shorts, rubbing her pussy through her panties. Joanna just stared. I was glad to see that Chloe liked to be a voyeur.

Turning my attention back to Melia, I ran my index finger round her puckered anus, enjoying her increased movements as I felt it. I pushed it forward and broke through her sphincter and inserted my finger into her ass. Melia pushed back with renewed vigor, obviously comfortable with my finger penetrating her asshole. Chloe now had her finger inside her panties and was furiously rubbing her clit, throwing her head back and panting hard as she watched us fuck. The surprising thing was that Joanna had her hand on one of her own boobs and was rubbing it and pinching the nipple through the tank top she wore. Interesting!

Melia was approaching orgasm fast as her screams got louder and I inserted a second finger into her ass. It was that finger that sent her over the edge, causing her to explode in orgasm, her pussy tensing around my shaft and spasming. This sent me to the edge and I pulled out and sprayed my cum all over Melias pussy and asshole, with some shooting up her back as well. However, most of my cum now pooled in her asshole, as she had collapsed the top half of her body and her head was on the ground, with just her hip up in the air. I told her to stay like that as I finished my final couple of spurts, adding to my cum dribbling slowly out of her asshole and down her pussy.

I stood up and went over to Joanna. I took her by the arm and led her over to Melia and behind her so she could see the mess I had made.

Lick it up please Joanna. I ordered.

Joanna surprised me by immediately getting onto her knees and lowering her head towards Melias pussy. Joannas lips made contact with Melias pussy and she began eagerly lapping up my cum, cleaning it all up off her pussy before moving up to Melias anus. I watchedas Joannas tongue swirled around Melias anus, licking up all my cum before dipping the tip of her tongue into Melias ass. It was such an erotic sight. A sound whipped my head round, it was Chloe exploding in orgasm as her fingers brought her off. Joann finished cleaning up my cum and was now just kissing Melias pert ass. I was very pleased with her obeying my instructions so quickly.

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[survivor-themyscira-blog]

https://cdn.dtbrownseeds.co.uk/product-images/op/z/19780z.jpg

FUCK U

JORDAN

I WASNT YOUR LEAK

LOOK WHERE IT GOT YOU

GOD DAMMIT!!

Like literally Logan, was like "you were the honestly honest one".

And Toph's all like "we can't trust emily."

And Jaidens like "im so happy you brought me back AND took out pines." And like mad n ian are like "alliance needs to be strong."

And yeah I haven't spoken to anyone else.

But im sure they're like "damn kai was hot in that tribal."

Or something similar.

So Jordan Pines, you are so very welcome to join my hall of trophy votes. The idol I played wasn't mine but Kai's. Kai transferred it to me because Emily told us you were gunning for me with swapped antiope. QQ You join names such as Seamus, Brandan, Tyler, and Catfish Alexa on my stuffed and mounted

I’m so scared Logan is suddenly being so nice to me he messaged me like hey love and then started telling me to drink fluids and stay healthy and I’m scared he’s plotting against me. And Toph is the complete opposite. He’s being flat out rude to me sending me snapchats of him flipping me off and telling everyone that I can’t be trusted and it’s SO RUDE like wtf I know they can’t but like don’t tell them that!

ok so this puzzle is literally destroying my sanity

i shit you not i turned on GHOST MODE for this motherfucker what was i thinking??? "GEE I REALLY WONDER WHAT THE FUCK THIS PUZZLE MIGHT LOOK LIKE, AND GHOST MODE WILL SURELY HELP ME PUT IT TOGETHER"

god no wonder its called the hell puzzle, i never wanna see this spiky shit again

I feel like the past 24 hours or so have been a lot of “firsts” for me. This is the first time in a Tumblr game I’ve ever been voted out, and later returned due to a twist!! This is the first time I’ve beaten Jordan Pines in an individual challenge :~) (my favorite accomplishment). This is not, however, the first time I’ve felt like a complete outcast! Fuck!!

Basically, I join the merge tribe after vanquishing the Goliath to my David. I expected triumphant cheers of happiness that mister Pines was finally eliminated, but there was nothing more than a sigh at my entrance. Nobody even initially congratulated me.

So here we are, hours after I got back into the game. I guess it’s been almost a full day since then, actually, but I put my absolute all into this competition. I knew from the get-go there’d be no chance in flaming hell I’d win immunity today unless everyone else just decided not to bother. No matter how quick I get done with that puzzle, I had a feeling that I’m still going to get second or third at best. But I’m actually okay with it!

Another first that I accomplished was that I didn’t give up when faced with an incredibly difficult task. Look, beating Jordan Pines wasn’t as hard as it seemed. I’ve gotten him voted out of games before, how much harder could it be to just get him out of a simple ten-point challenge? In comparison to today’s immunity, it was like jumping from little league to major league in a minute. Thankfully this puzzle wasn’t last night’s challenge, lmfao. So I accomplished just getting the puzzle done. Win or lose, this is a proud moment. I literally spent over 8 hours just trying to get the pieces together, and 7 of those hours were spent just today alone. The outcome won’t take this feeling away from me. I’m proud! This gives me a really good argument for myself at a potential final tribal council – I came back, stuck to my guns, and proved that I never gave up at any moment in this game. EVEN KNOWING I could lose such a challenge, I dedicated eight whole hours of my life to getting this shit done. Whew.

I mean I guess there’s a little hope inside me that anyone who completes the puzzle gets some sort of reward out of it… I doubt that’s the case, but it was enough to really kick me into high gear during the first 20% of the puzzle or so to just keep at it. I needed that push.

Anyways, now that I’m back in the game, I need to find some allies. I started working on Rhone and they gave me some useful information about what went down in the game. None of it made ANY sense because I’ve missed so much, but Kai was another person that really tried to instill in me an idea that I could work with him, too.

Before coming back, I was super anti-Jordan Pines. I knew that he was gonna be a tough cookie to crack if I were to magically return and have him still here. So I played that up a lot to Kai in particular, at least to give myself an option if I need one. This might give him a sense that we’re on the same page, wanting to take out the remainders of Jordan’s allies. I’m just kinda waiting for him to swoop down and take me in under his wing. Really, I’m waiting for anybody to do that at this point…

Then again, I’ve got Rhone as a potential “in”. I’ve never played with Rhone before, but I know they’re really smart just by talking to them. I don’t want to even flirt with the idea of lying to Rhone or being a little bit dishonest. I need to be as straight-forward with them as I can because they’re NOT the kind of person I want to lie to for any reason. They’d see right through me and call me out on it, which I don’t need right now.

An idea I’ve had would be to just fill in the spot Jordan Pines made with his alliance. Hopefully they’ll accept me as a new number, because clearly I’m very against Ian. There’s like, no chance I’ll work with either Ian or Madeline or Toph at this point (and I’m not even going to talk to the latter two because… choke), so if I can find a way to send those three out back to back to back? Sign me right up!

Logan’s changed his profile picture to a leek because of some mysterious “leak” drama going around. Like, oh please keep sinking your ship. I promised Dan I wouldn’t target Logan for a bit because Dan wants to see him go far, but like Logan is kinda unnecessary to my game at the moment. I don’t trust him because he doesn’t trust me, and although I don’t have a lot of options, shattering Jordan’s old alliance *might* be beneficial for me in the long-run.

I don’t understand subtlety, so I don’t care if I win immunity and if I do, it’d be a freaking dream. I am going to make my presence in this game known one way or another, so these people had better prepare for that. I should, too. Thankfully, I’ve got this redemption idol so if things look grim for me tomorrow night, I know I’m getting at least tenth place. I don’t want to position myself as the easy vote since I’m a returner, so… let’s try hard to stick around this time and not get messy. Since I’m here, I may as well try to get to the end this time and not be chaotic as fuck. It doesn’t take big moves to win the game, but it does take strong relationships to get people convinced you deserve to win over everyone else. Like I’ve said, I have to right my wrongs from before I was voted out. Then again, I don’t let go of grudges so who knows what the future has in store for me. All I know is I’m glad I'm over that hell of a puzzle.

I worked on that puzzle for over ten hours. The most I got was 35%. At least I tried.

Step one of my master plan. Cry in everybody's PMs and tell them why I DO NOT want to go home.

Step two of my master plan. Become Jordan Pines. Everybody loves Jordan Pines, so why would they vote him out? It just makes no sense. Only Ian and Kai and whoever else voted for him yesterday, and there's no fucking way I'm not getting AT THE LEAST Ian's vote. I kinda need the majority here, so it seems like my best bet is to just make them think I'm not Jaiden.

Step three of my master plan. Scramble. Hard.

And finally, step four. Play the idol on myself. Hopefully I have enough votes coming my way (aka all but mine) and I can look like a good fucking player for once and take out someone I don't like (aka Toph).

HOPEFULLY everyone votes for either myself or Ian. If Ian goes home, then yay he's dead. If they all vote me, then boo you guys just fucked up and now I cancel all the votes : D

I don't know who is willing to work with my cracked ass at this point, but I'm not going down without a fight. I'm gonna pull out all the stops to make shit happen, I'm just really really scared that I won't do it correctly.

me @ everyone in pms: "hi this is your master speaking, please vote for ian"

we all know the real jordan pines uses mind control

I'm going into the second hour on a private call with Ian while we're talking in two different alliances we're in together and discussing our PMs with people. NO ONE can sneak anything past our duo.

I love Logan my only goal in this game now is to get him to not hate me

https://youtu.be/5hV-WJy_kUI

I’m waiting for someone to Jeff Varner themself to make this vote easy

Honestly it's so funny when I have to pretend I don't talk to Ian much and even say he's sorta awkward to talk to. IF ONLY PEOPLE KNEW JUST YESTERDAY WE TALKED FOR 5 HOURS.

my dad is dead

i dont know who to trust

im immune tho

and i got a super idol

neat.

I've heard my name all day long and that gets mentally draining and I tried to set in place a plan to keep myself in, if it works,great, if not oh well it's been a fun ride so far.  The reason it wouldn't work is one it's very contingent on Nicholas throwing his vote and Two- Dammit Toph spilling the real name to someone we don't need knowing, the point of getting people to throw votes is them not knowing who we might be coming for. Anyways, we will see and if I go out no one can say I didn't try

I did the thing that I wanted to do the least in this game tonight well maybe not the least I don’t know I’m using voice text for this just so everybody knows in case this is a total mess I blame Siri anyways tonight was horrible I had to cast a vote for road and I love road to death and just hoping that Rome doesn’t hate me for a bit is it just God I just really I don’t even know what to do anymore in this game I’m just I’m really relying on dudes James and to do each oh my god this is such a mess and I just I recorded a video confessional earlier but I just know I won’t have time to upload it and I’m just leaving rehearsal now and I just I don’t feel like typing but everything is it’s a mess I want to cry and a half like God Charlotte JD LA I’m so upset this This is the fucking worst and I I don’t even know if the boat is going to go my way tonight I feel like I’m really betraying Nicholas because he’s going to cast a vote for Jaden thinking that everybody else is going to vote for Jayda but nobody except I haven’t so I don’t even know if I’ll trust me after this of Oracle try to get me out or something I don’t know what I’m really trusting telephone and really trusting Madeline and Ian and Kai and I’m just  so so so upset I’m going to listen to Pasha to drown out my sorrows hopefully I’m home in time for life tribal but do I even want to be on live tribal tonight I really don’t think I do god this is such a mess why do I play these games all it does is make me sad and stressed I don’t know fuck

Sorry Rhone, I was the one who convinced Dudes, Dames, and a Deutch to write your name out then convince Toph to his a double vote. It was nothing personal other than you were JP's right hand and you voted me. We just had to go with a name that wasn't being thrown around in fear of an idol...Which one was played it was just Jaiden(I told you guys we couldn't go after Jaiden this round) and he played it on me. That's two idol's used on your boi right here, I am in your house stealing all your idol'd votes. The best part, neither of them have been idols I have found! Who needs to search the island when you can get people to play their advantages with you as a beneficiary. As per usual shout out to my girl Madeline, love ya girl we couldn't have pulled off the moves we made so far without being 100% honest with each other. Special shout out to Jaiden as well, thank you so much man you made my day and I think I can start to rebuild a relationship with you, eventually all alliances must end and I feel if you stay in the game for when that time comes we can pull something off.

The only idol that won't be getting played on Ian this game is going to the idol of my heart. I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF THIS BOY PLAYS ME HE'S OVER.