#however. the person who packed this order simply did a piss poor job.

[morhath]

bookshop dot org girl I love you but you have GOT to stop sending me damaged books

[imaginesandinserts]

Irreverent Pt. 37 - Seven Months

Title: Irreverent Pt. 37 - Seven Months Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Reader Rating: M Words: 5302

Trigger Warning: Mentions of Rape/Nonconsent

Irreverent Series Masterlist

*The events of this chapter take place in the seven months during which Emily Prentiss was presumed dead.*

Penelope had decorated Derek's new office. He hadn't taken over Hotch's office - he'd felt weird about that. It was where you found him usually now, late at night after everyone else had left. You'd found yourself staying late quite a bit more.

Reid was taking Emily's death harder than anyone - you know that JJ had been over to his place a lot along with Penelope. Rossi was trying to take him under his wing and make sure he was keeping it together enough to still do the job. You were struggling to get your own oxygen mask on to really help Spencer with his. You hadn't slept more than a couple of fitful hours any night since Hotch left.

The team was down three people and none of you had wanted to go through the hiring process of bringing in and training someone new. However, this meant a lot of extra work for Derek as the new Unit Chief. Rossi was chipping in a bit, but with JJ also gone and no media liaison, his job was becoming impossible. You and Rossi had split up some of the remaining work, with Penelope automating case selection using an algorithm she'd designed. You'd taken on most of the media liaison work in order to spare Derek when he was already on edge. You were all on edge though - all the time.

*------------*

The four of you - Derek, Reid, Rossi, and yourself - were in Austin for a case. There was some sort of convention going on and the killer seemed to be targeting attendees. They'd found two dead already. The team had arrived earlier in the morning and made some progress, but had nothing more to go on for the moment, so you'd all arrived at the hotel for the night.

"They only have two rooms," Derek tells the rest of you, returning from the front desk. With the convention, there hadn't been much space available and the two rooms available were only free because their occupants were dead. The hotel had worked quickly to flip over the crime scenes back into functioning guest rooms.

The three men turned to look at you. "I'll bunk with Derek, if that's okay," you respond, looking at him to confirm if he was alright with it. You didn't want to console Reid tonight and didn't have it in you to deal with Rossi's insistence on talking.

Derek nods and the four of you head up in the elevators to your respective rooms. Reid and Rossi get out on the third floor while you and Derek continue on to the fifth.

"You wanna shower first?" he asks you, opening the door and letting you in first.

"Yeah, that would be nice, thanks."

You go to get clean and when you return, Derek has the case files laid out on the room desk. Upon your exit, he goes to shower himself, leaving you to look over the files and browse through the snack bar. You hadn't had an appetite during dinner and a late night snack was definitely the right call.

By the time Derek got back, you'd made it through half the pack of peanut m&ms and were sitting on the edge of the bed. You look up at his emergence, pajama pants slung low on his hips, and for a second, you have to admire how incredibly fit he is.

"Is that from the boxing?" you ask, eyebrows raised as you more or less ogle his abs.

Derek laughs - a laugh that doesn't quite reach his eyes but the gesture is there. "You should let me train you, princess. I think you'd like it. Work off some of that aggression."

"Hmm, if you can promise me results like that, you're on." You scooch yourself up towards the headboard and pull the covers up, starting to feel just a little awkward about having picked him to bunk with.

"You got it."

He senses your hesitancy as he climbs into bed on the other side. "You're sure you're okay with this? I can take the couch."

"No, I just," you pause, unsure of how to explain. The only other person on the team you've ever shared a bed with is Emily. Emily who holds you and brushes a hand through your hair until you fall asleep. "Sorry, no. It's not you. It's…," you stop again, knowing you really shouldn't say anything at all. And yet, maybe…  "Emily used to cuddle," you mumble, your face immediately becoming warm.

You're not sure if it was because of how obviously embarrassed you are or because he too wouldn't mind having someone to hold right now, that Derek just smiles understandingly. "Come here, princess. We can cuddle too."

That's how you find yourself in a hotel room in the middle of Texas, Derek Morgan's strong arms wrapped around your waist, his lower half tilted respectfully away, and his lips grazing the top of your head in the sweetest way. He was no Emily, but he was exactly what you needed in that moment. You slept soundly for the first time in weeks.

*------------*

Strauss had shut down the investigation into Doyle. She'd cited jurisdiction and said that no one on the BAU was permitted to continue looking into it. You knew that both Derek and Rossi had protested against it, but it was to no avail.

This was the time where you felt angriest with Hotch for leaving. He would've stood up to Strauss way more. Nothing against Derek and Rossi, but Hotch no longer cared about the politics of the Bureau - you knew that by the way he'd stood up to her countless times before. Rossi didn't either but he also had an odd relationship with Strauss - something told you he actually liked her, so he was choosing to respect her decision on the matter.

Derek had far too much going on to wage a war against Strauss and keep running the team at the same time. You were on your own. You took out the card Easter had handed you at Emily's wake from the drawer it had sat in, along with the pearl earrings you'd worn that day. Pearls were for old women and funerals, as your mother used to say.

*------------*

"The Unsub is suspected to be a white male in his mid-to-late twenties. He will have poor social skills - he's probably someone who makes you uncomfortable but you can't figure out why. He will have a low income job which he does not like. He perceives himself as being better than those around him and likely had an older female figure in his life whom he feared. We ask that the public keep an eye out for any individuals meeting this description. Thank you."

You had just delivered the profile at the press conference for a serial rapist who was breaking into women's homes when they were alone, raping them, and then tattooing them with his signature, before leaving them unconscious, naked, and tied up outside their homes. It had been a harrowing few days and the entire city was on edge after the fourth victim had come forward, having been found by her neighbor early the next morning.

Derek looks up at you as you enter the room again. "You alright?"

You simply nod, sighing and lowering yourself into the chair next to him. Reid was working on the geographic profile and so far it seemed that you had your work cut out for you - there wasn't a pattern that was emerging. Rossi had gone out with the lead detective on the case to the newest crime scene. You watched Derek turn back and you could feel the frustration radiating off of him in waves. You have to wonder how much more these cases hit him.

It took another two days and one more victim before a real pattern emerged and after finally getting the results back from the lab, Garcia was able to track down the Unsub using a specific dye he was using in all of the women's tattoos. Everyone was upset with themselves - this was hardly a victory. You take note of how aggressively Derek puts the Unsub in handcuffs and shoves him towards the car.

It's evening by the time the plane lands in D.C. and you get back to the office. You're about to head out, but decide to swing by Derek's office to check on him. Grabbing your bag, you walk down the empty hallway towards his office.

"Hey," you say, arriving in his doorway. He's sitting in mostly darkness, only the light from his desk lamp illuminating his office.

He looks up at your voice, a soft smile gracing his face. "What're you still doing here?"

"Wanted to check in on you, boss," you tease, smiling back at him, and make your way into his office. You drop your bag to the floor and settle into the chair across from him, pulling your legs up. You had a feeling he wasn't leaving anytime soon, and you didn't really want him to be alone in the office on a Friday night.

He shakes his head as you make yourself comfortable and grab the top half of the files sitting directly in front of him, plucking a pen from the holder on his desk.

"You should go home, you didn't sign up for this."

You look up at him, taking in the eyebags and tired shoulders. "Neither did you."

The two of you work together and make a significant dent in the files that had sat on his desk. The growing stack of completed folders was motivating you to just barrel through. The more you two got done tonight, the less he would take home with him for the weekend.

You find yourself watching him as you work. You know this case was hard on him - both because of how brutally the victims had been treated as well as his own history with Carl Buford. Merely the thought of Buford was enough to piss you off - you were glad he was serving a life sentence, because when he'd first been arrested, it had taken everything in you to watch the detective put him in handcuffs and not punch him in the face. You'd barely known Derek back then, and yet you could tell how completely Buford's act had hurt him, changed him, and stayed with him.  

"How are you doing?" you ask softly, pausing your work and watching Derek's face carefully. He'd know what you meant.

Derek stops and looks up to meet your eyes. He puts down his pen and leans forward in his chair, across the desk. "I'm alright. They're always rough. Him being in prison didn't make this part any easier. But…I'm hanging in there, I guess."

You nod. He's not alright, but it doesn’t really help to vocalize that unless you have the time and capacity to deal with it. It's easier to say you're alright until you are.

"Are you?" He'd noticed you had been just a little off - just a little too nice to the victims, a little too eager to rough up the Unsub in the interrogation. He'd been on cases like this with you before, but it was the first time since Hotch and Prentiss were gone. Everything about you lately was like a raw nerve and he knew something wasn't quite right.

"What do you mean?" You hadn't expected him to ask you that.

Derek fixes you with the same look he gives you when he's coaching you in the ring and you try to pretend you hadn't carelessly left yourself exposed. That was the bad part about getting close to people - it becomes harder to cover yourself.

You take in his expression, knowing he wouldn't just let you avoid it. You shift to put the files on his desk, adjusting to pull your knees in front of you, feet planted firmly on the seat of the chair, and wrap your arms around your legs. The darkness of the office helps you feel less exposed.

"It wasn't the same as you. I wasn't a kid," you tell him, your voice low and eyes trained on his hands which lay on the desk. You'd been old enough to know better and you should've been strong enough and confident enough to stop it. It was so different from how it had been for him.

His brow wrinkled as he took in what you'd revealed. Standing slowly so as to not startle you, he comes around to your side of the desk and crouches down to be eye level with you. His hands rest on top of your, sending warmth throughout you. You look to meet his eyes, expecting to see something akin to pity - you didn't want him to see you that way. However Derek's eyes are warm and kind and so very him - not a hint of pity in them.

He appears to hesitate for a moment, but seems to convince himself to go through with it. "Who?"

You move your hand to grip his and he squeezes. Your voice is barely audible. "My ex, Matthew."

Derek sucks in a breath at the familiar name. He'd had some indication in the past that your ex-fiancé was bad news. After all, you'd ended an engagement with him and he knew you well enough to know you didn't make decisions like that lightly.

There was a lot you didn't talk about when it came to Matthew - while the truth about Julian's death had been the nail in the coffin, propelling your escape, your relationship with Matthew had been rocky for months preceding that. In hindsight, you wondered when it had ever been actually good.

You know you owed Derek more of an explanation, however. After all, he'd trusted you about Buford.

"It was towards the end," you continue, your voice scratchy as you blinked back tears. "I didn't really want to sleep with him anymore, but - ." You stop. You hadn't realized how hard it would be to share this with someone. Derek's thumb is rubbing soothingly against your hand and you decide to focus on that. "Fulfilling your duty - that's a big deal in the circles I'm from," you explain. "I was set to be his wife. I wasn't allowed to say no to my husband. So I just…let him do what he wanted."

Derek could tell it hadn't been a one time thing but he didn't think he could stand knowing how often that bastard had forced you into it. All he could see was how small you looked in the chair - he didn't have a doubt in his mind that the woman in front of him today was more than capable of dealing with a monster like that. But back then, with no one to teach you how to protect yourself, he could just imagine how scared you'd been and how going along with it had been your safest option.

He tries to stifle down the anger he feels but his hand is shaking and he knows you can tell. But he also knows what it's like to share something awful and then have to comfort the other person instead. So for you, he takes a deep breath and forces a sense of calm that he doesn't truly feel. To be fair, calm wasn't a feeling he was familiar with anymore.

"You being an adult doesn't change anything. You being in a relationship with him - that's not an excuse," he says, his large hand cupping your face, looking into your eyes. "What he did - only someone rotten to the core could do that. And you still got away. You won."

You lean into his touch and allow yourself to fall into him. Derek shifts on the floor, back against his desk, bringing you down next to him. His hand still clasped tightly in yours as your head comes to settle on his shoulder.

"Thank you."

And you know you don't have to ask him to not tell anyone. Of all people, he wouldn't.

*------------*

You had spent the entire day at the Zoo - Jack, Sophie, and Evan had wanted to see every single animal and had dragged you through the entire place twice.  You got a ton of photos of the three of them posing adorably in front of every exhibit. Jess would want a copy of every single one, you were sure. She and Andrew were spending the day at home without the kids and had plans to go dancing in the evening.

By the time you got back to Jess's place after grabbing burgers for dinner, it was late - late for children at least. Sophie and Evan were quick to clean themselves up, thanking you for everything, before turning in for the night. Jess had raised two really good kids and you got why it was easy for Hotch to leave Jack with her. You might not fully understand how he was able to leave Jack in the first place, but you could see that it was a little bit easier knowing that someone like Jess was there to help.

You and Jess had grown closer these last couple of months with Hotch gone. The first time you'd showed up at her door unannounced, she'd greeted you with a hug and welcome you in to see Jack. You'd been so grateful for her understanding. Seeing Jack made things feel a little better, if only for a few hours.

You approached the door to Andrew's office, which had been converted into Jack's bedroom. Knocking softly, you turned the knob at Jack's invitation. He had changed into his pajamas and was sat at the little play table in the room.

"Hey baby," you whispered, trying to keep your voice low so as to not disturb the other two kids. "What're you doing?"

Jack was sat in the little chair, his tiny hands gripping a marker in one hand. You walked towards him and sat on the ground next to his chair.

"Y/N, can you help me?" He mimics your soft tone, understanding that it was time to be more quiet.

"Of course I can. What do you need help with?"

"With my Val-Valem-Valentine's Day card," he explained, stumbling over the long word.

You smiled encouragingly. He was really getting better with the big words.

"Yeah, I can help. What do you need me to do?"

"Auntie Jess said we can mail it to Daddy," he said, pointing at the blue piece of construction paper that he'd folded in half. "Can you please draw the heart? Mine doesn't look right." The little pout on his face was too adorable to resist.

You looked at the card he was making. It already had Daddy written on it in Jack's childish handwriting and about a hundred stickers. Jack was indicating towards a small spot at the end right above his name.

Your heart aches, knowing that this is the kind of thing that Haley would've done with him. You're happy that at least Jess is around to make sure that Jack and Hotch both have some of these sweeter moments. Jess would think of something like this. Most of your actions around Jack were driven off of asking yourself what your own parents would do - and then doing the exact opposite. But things like this, you couldn't help but feel out of your depth - you wouldn't have even known to do it.  Your parents hadn't been the kind to appreciate things like children's artwork and homemade gifts.

You smile at Jack and ask him which color marker to use. He picks out a red one. You carefully outline a heart right where he'd pointed and then hand him the marker to color it in. Once he's done, he blows on it to make sure its dry, before closing the card.

"Jack, did you put all your love into the card?" you ask, quirking an eyebrow up at him.

He turns to you, confused. "I put hearts everywhere," he replies, pointing at all the stickers on the front of the card.

"That's good, but I think its missing that extra little something. Has anyone ever taught you how to put all of your love into a card, before?"

He shakes his head and you can tell he's intrigued.

Your voice is low as if revealing a secret, making him lean closer to you to hear. "Cards are special because they come from people we love," you explain, "But you can make them extra special. All you have to do is hold the card in your hands, close your eyes, and think about the person the card is for. Think about everything you love about them and let that feeling fill you up. Then you place a kiss on the inside of the card and when the other person opens it, they'll feel it. They'll feel all of your love for them when they read the card."

Jack is quiet for a bit as he thinks through what you said. You watch as he gets up and pushes his chair out of the way to sit by you on the ground. He looks up at you, card clenched tightly in both hands. "Will you do it with me, Y/N?" he asks, his brown eyes shining up at you, a perfect reflection of his father's. "That way Daddy has more love so he gets back home okay."

You force yourself to smile at his request. You can't tell a child that you're still pissed at his father for running off to Pakistan. "Of course baby, come here." Pulling Jack into your lap, you wrap your hands around his, clutching the card. "Alright, remember, close your eyes and think about everything you love about Daddy."

You know Jack is going to take this extremely seriously, so you know you have to as well. Closing your eyes you (temporarily) let go of the anger you feel towards Hotch. Instead you choose to remember his smile that brings out his dimples, the warmth that radiates off of him and penetrates you anytime he hugs you, that time he drove out forty-five minutes in the rain to help change your flat tire, the way he makes you feel completely safe anytime you're with him, and how good of a father he tries to be to Jack. You take a deep breath and let the good memories of him permeate through every part of you. When you open your eyes Jack is waiting for you, card open. You watch as he places a small dry kiss to the center of the card and then holds it up towards you. Tightening your hold on him, you lean forward and brush your lips against the same spot.

Jack quickly closes the card shut, as if afraid the love would float away otherwise. You stand up, lifting him along with you. After tucking the card in a safe spot, you help him get into bed and pick up the book on the nightstand. He's out before you even get to the second page.

*------------*

You hadn't heard much from Easter in the way of Ian Doyle. Part of you thought you should tell Morgan and Rossi that you'd contacted him, but you knew they'd object. You figured it was better to wait until there was something concrete. Easier to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission. However, you couldn't help but feel dejected at the complete lack of progress. Doyle seemed to be underground and there was no intel on his whereabouts.

Work hadn't improved - if anything it appeared the cases were even more rapid fire, as though Derek was taking on more and more to avoid being home at all. This was only the first night you were back in two weeks. The last two cases had come back to back, so you'd flown straight to Tampa from Utah. You did understand Derek in a way - staying busy was the only way to stop wallowing. But he was running everyone, especially himself, ragged.

You and Rossi had put your foot down with him on the jet and insisted on no new cases for at least two days. Penelope was under strict instructions to not even hint at a case to him. Rossi had promised her a nice bottle of Chianti for her trouble and she'd been easily persuaded after you told her how tired Derek looked.

As you parked and got out of the car, you felt an overwhelming sense of unease. You'd been around someone or the other for the past two weeks straight with hardly a moment alone. Derek and you had gotten oddly comfortable sleeping next to one another, so even in a room with two double beds, you'd found yourself in his bed or vice versa most nights. Walking into a large, empty house all by yourself felt intimidating.

You opened the door and set your bag just inside, before locking it again. You drove first to the corner store and picked out some supplies, before driving again towards your destination.

When Derek opened his door to you, you could see the slight surprise on his face at the sight. There you stood, still wearing the leggings and sweatshirt you'd changed into on the plane, clutching a bottle of scotch in one hand while your other was wrapped around a box of the powdered sugary donuts that were his ultimate weakness. He finds himself letting out a small chuckle as he waves you inside.

"Thought you'd gotten enough of me already. Isn't that why we're on mandatory time off?" He follows behind you as you flop yourself onto his familiar couch.

You rolled your eyes at him. "You know we all needed the time off."

He sits down beside you, reaching for the box of donuts. Your last meal had been an early lunch before the plane ride home and you reckon he hadn't eaten anything since then either. You take the top off of the bottle of scotch, and not bothering with a glass, just take a swig straight from the mouth.

Derek raises an eyebrow at that. "Something you wanna talk about, princess?" His mouth already had the sugar dust around ,it as he reaches for a second donut.

"Just didn't wanna be home alone," you mumble out, handing over the bottle to him and breaking off half the donut in his hand for yourself.

You sitting on his couch - that wasn't an unfamiliar sight for him. You drinking scotch straight from the bottle, however, that gave him some pause. You weren't really a cheap liquor straight from the bottle kind of girl - that had been more Prentiss's thing. Even though it was the higher end of the bodega scotch, it still wasn't at the level of stuff you kept stocked at your place. He had to surmise that you hadn't even bothered to go inside.

"Are things ever going to go back to normal, Derek?" You settled in closer to him and he could feel the warmth of your thigh against his own. Your question caught him by surprise, but it was really the way you sighed out his name that made his brain stutter.

He had to really think about the question. He'd asked himself that countless times and each time he'd give up on crafting a response - he didn't have one. It had been more than five months since Prentiss died and Hotch left him in charge. That hadn't been how he'd wanted to get the job and every day he became more and more certain that he actually never wanted it. Hotch had managed it all, on top of a kid and made it seem effortless. He'd known it wasn't of course - Hotch worked harder than anyone else in the Bureau, but he was also working his way into an early grave. Derek didn't like seeing himself on the same path. But he couldn't quit now. Not when you'd lost both Prentiss and Hotch. He wouldn't leave you or Reid like that.

Normal though, he couldn't even wrap his brain around the concept anymore. None of this was normal. Strauss was pressuring him to hire someone already but he was resistant still. Keeping the team as it was - you, Rossi, Reid, and Garcia - that was the closest thing within his grasp to normal. He wasn't ready to let that go.

He realizes he's been quiet for too long and you're still waiting for some sort of response. He turns and he's met with your large doe eyes looking right at him and your face is so close to his. For a second he thinks you're drunk already, but the bottle of scotch barely has a dent in it. You hadn't drank more since you'd passed it off to him.

"I don't know," he says, his voice low and deep, sending a pang deep in your stomach. His face is so close to yours but you know it's your own fault for moving to be right beside him. Derek hadn't done anything wrong. You'd shown up at his door, at night, a bottle of liquor in hand. You weren't sure what you were thinking - all you'd wanted was to not be alone. It was Derek and right now he was the only person that made you feel not alone.

Your head is still rested against his shoulder and his face is tilted towards yours. There's a look that passes between you. You're not sure which one of you leaned in first, only that his lips are pressed against yours. In the next second, you're hauled up and placed on his lap, knees resting on either side of him. You'd opened your mouth and he's exploring yours, drawing a moan from deep within as his large hands wrap around your back. He tastes like sugar and scotch and you know you taste the same. Your own hands travel under his shirt, mouth never once leaving his, the trail of your light, cold fingers sending a shiver down his spine. He's pulling you impossibly close against him and wow it's Derek but oh my goodness it's Derek but it's Derek and it's Derek and it's Derek. You're panting into his mouth and grinding yourself into his lap and it feels so good. You've managed to slip his t-shirt up and he breaks away from your mouth to pull it off all the way, giving you a moment to breathe.

Your eyes meet his again, only this time neither one of you leans in. The moment to breathe was a moment of clarity and you both watch one another with uncertain eyes. He breaks first, and the sound of his laugh - the first truly happy laugh you've heard from him in months - sets off yours as well. It feels incredible to laugh again - like it’s a high. To laugh and to have it reach your eyes and to see it reflected in his - you hadn't realized how foreign that had become to you.

His chest rumbles underneath you as you come to grips with your situation. His hands drop from your waist and yours come back to your side as you swing your leg to get off of his lap. The remnants of laughter still linger between you as he slips his shirt back on over his head.

His hand finds yours on the couch and squeezes. "Are we going to be okay?" he asks, the laughter finally subsiding.

"We are okay," you tell him swiping at the sugar on his chin.

He nods, pushing up off of the couch and then reaching back to pull you up as well. "Alright then, princess. Let's go to bed."

Hand still gripped in his, you follow him to the bedroom.

It had been five months too long of this new not normal.

[zoeekar]

*goes to write a short, end of the year fic*

*hits almost 4000 words instead*

@s-nebul0sa this is fluff, right? 😂

“And so it would be advisable for people to stay indo-” The screen in front of Kara turns black and she blinks herself back to reality as a box suddenly -and roughly- nudges her arm.

“Orders aren’t going to wait for you, Danvers!” It feels like Snapper’s voice grabs her mind and forces it back to the present.

“They just said on the news that it’s dangerous to-”

“I don’t care what some ditzy reporter said on the news, Danvers. Do you want to get paid or not?”

“I do,” Kara hates every second of all of this.

“Then pack up your orders and go!” The man slaps a sticky note on the top box that has the order and the name on it and pushes Kara out the door.

The raindrops whip Kara’s cheeks as she speeds down the road on her worn-down scooter, the water splashing against her helmet and glasses, making it hard to see. Three deliveries down, one to go. All she needs to do is get to that apartment, on the other side of the city, deliver the stupid burger and then get back home to celebrate Christmas with everyone. Easy enough, she has more than enough time to do that. That said, however, whoever thought it was a good idea for people to be working on Christmas Eve had a terrible sense of humor.

She’s caught in a red light when the call from Alex gets to her and she taps the side of her helmet to answer. She feels a little bit like a badass, she has to admit, the silly rainbow helmet Alex got her a few years back does look kind of cooler with the Bluetooth addition she installed to it.

“Whatever it is, say it fast cause I’m on the road,” she says already knowing who it is.

“Are you actually outside right now?” Alex’ voice comes in muffled.

“Last delivery of the day and then I’ll be on my way back. Save some pre-drinks snacks for me!”

“I honestly have half a mind to sue your boss for reckless endangerment of an employee, did you guys not see the news? Or the outside for that matter... It’s pissing rain all day and-”

“I know, I know,” Kara rolls her eyes as she light turns green, “Snapper was being annoying again… Look, I promise, this is my last delivery for the day, I’ll be there soon, okay?” her voice hitches slightly when she takes a right turn tighter than she expects.

“If you’re speeding, I’m going to kill you,” Alex says in her serious, sister voice and Kara chuckles.

“I’m not, don’t worry,” she says. She’s definitely speeding. “I’ll text you when I’m on my way back, I have to go.”

“Okay, you better. Take care, love you.”

“Love you too.” It happens before Kara even has a chance to blink. Her hand rises to tap the side of her helmet just as a surprisingly deep puddle appears in front of her and she tries to swerve to the right using only one hand to steer. It’s a bad idea, she realizes, as she feels herself losing all control of the scooter and heads straight towards a parked car.

It takes her a second to realize she’s fine. Drenched to the bone and with an aching wrist, but fine.

“Okay. Okay, everything’s okay,” she says to herself as she gets up and goes to pick up her scooter which, in contrast with her, is unfortunately not fine. Seems like the delivery box got the brunt of the hit as it is now laying there all open and broken and sad, the burger box surprisingly still inside, however. Kara wonders if she should just give up. Call Snapper, tell him what happened, go home to Alex and their friends and celebrate Christmas like she was supposed to do before she got roped in for an extra shift that day. ________________________________________________________________

“Hello?” The intercom crackles to life about three seconds after Kara pulls her finger away from the button.

“Big Belly Burger,” she says as she moves towards the door, ready to push it open. She frowns at the silence that follows.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” the voice asks.

“Um…”

“It’s usually polite to say hello, is it not?” Kara swears she can hear a smirk in the woman’s voice.

“I said hello,” she says. “I said ‘Big Belly Burger, hey’.” She is not in the mood for this. “I always say the same th-”

“No, you didn’t. You just said ‘Big Belly Burger’.” More silence follows after that and it has Kara wishing she could be anywhere else. “And it’s also polite for people to apologize when they’re late.”

Kara sighs. “Sorry… I got- held back…” The woman doesn’t say anything after that. “Are you… Are you going to let me in or…?”

“Or I could be a pain. I could… I don’t know, ask for a free burger or a complimentary dessert, couldn’t I? Your order is free if you wait for more than twenty minutes. Isn’t that what your flyer says?”

“It’s been twenty minutes?”

“Forty.”

“...oh.”

“So what now?”

Kara resists the urge to hit her head against the glass door. “I don’t know, Mrs Thorul…”

“It’s Miss. And my name isn’t Thorul, that was the previous owner. People were supposed to change the name but they didn’t and I just left it as is. Easier for deliveries,” the voice explains. “Anyway, that’s none of your business.” Kara simply sighs. “I’ll open the door but, honestly, I’m very annoyed,” the voice says after a moment and Kara feels a tiny smile making its way to her lips. She kinda likes that woman, she thinks. “Thirty-eighth floor, there’s only one door as you exit the elevator. It’s easy enough to find, I should hope.” ‘Even for you,’ it sounds like she wants to say.

The buzzer goes off and Kara pushes the door only for it to not budge at all. The sound stops for a second before it begins again, marking Kara’s second chance to get this right. Three attempts later and Kara is absolutely convinced she’s stupid. What’s so hard about opening a door anyway?

“You have to wait for the sound to stop and then push. Otherwise, the thing gets stuck.” Kara nods, her hand resting on the door, ready to push at the right time. The buzzer goes off, stops, Kara pushes, and the door- and the door remains locked. “Still nothing?” the voice asks.

“Still nothing,” Kara sighs, her head resting against the cool glass of the door. “Can you… Can you come down and collect it?” she asks in a quiet voice, almost scared to ask. She flinches ever-so-slightly at the sigh that makes its way through the intercom.

“Yeah, give me a minute.” Kara nods, not thinking of the fact that the woman can’t actually see her, and rests her back against the wall. It’s only a moment later when she decides to peek into the box just to make sure the order is okay and she thanks her lucky stars she does so.

“I’ll be right down!” comes the voice again before Kara even has the chance to stop pressing the button.

“Don’t bother,” she says with a sigh.

“Why?”

“The uh… The burger and I had a little accident on our way here. I’m afraid we’ve had casualties.”

“What happened?”

“Well, it looks like someone took the burger, chewed it up and then spat-”

“I meant the accident. Are you hurt?”

“Wh- what? No, I’m fine. It was nothing serious. Thanks for uh… thanks for asking.”

“You should get a new job. You’re not a very good delivery person.”

“I know. My boss always tells me the same thing.”

“Well, maybe you should listen to him.” The woman chuckles softly and Kara finds herself following suite.

“Maybe…” she says. “Look, you should just order another burger. Tell them what happened. They’re… they’re used to it.”

“Wow, you must be terrible at your job…” the woman chuckles again and Kara rolls her eyes.

“Have a good night,” she says as she makes her way to the main exit. Of course the rain has gotten worse; it’s just her luck for everything to go wrong the one day she needs to be home early. With yet another sigh, Kara takes a seat on the marble bench just by the door. ...

“Are you still there?” The sudden buzzing of the intercom nearly ten minutes later scares Kara half to death.

“Sugar,” she mutters as she tries to clean up her pants from a freshly dropped blob of sauce, ignoring the muffled laugh that makes its way to her ears.

“Shitty night, isn’t it?” comes the voice again, making Kara glance outside to her abandoned and absolutely drenched scooter. She opens the main door a little and chances a look up, some water droplets splashing on her face.

“Thirty-eighth floor, huh?” she asks as she lets to door shut. “Makes me dizzy just thinking about it…”

“Is that my burger you’re eating?” Kara only shrugs and hums in response. “Is it good?”

“The added broccoli was a bad idea.”

“Ha, everyone’s a critic.”

“What do you see from up there?”

“I can see your scooter. Poor thing looks so sad.”

“I meant when you look straight ahead.”

“Oh… Nothing. Well, nothing vertical anyway. Only the horizon.”

“Sounds pretty lonely…”

“What? I can’t hear you.”

“I said it sounds kinda lonely,” Kara says again, not even knowing where that bluntness just came from. “Being cut off from the world like that… To see nothing… Hear nothing…” she trails off as she makes her way back to the intercom. “Can you hear the rain?”

“Rain doesn’t make any noise up here,” the voice says. “It only passes through.” Kara frowns slightly. ‘Yep. Lonely.’ “I can hear the wind, though. And sometimes, when the wind is very strong, I can feel the building moving. It’s kinda… I don't know, comforting- in a weird way, I suppose…”

Kara wants to respond. To say that it sounds weird and lonely but also kinda peaceful in a way only a swaying building can be, but she doesn’t. She just hums softly, her eyes drifting shut and her mind traveling up those thirty-eight stories on a windy day. It makes her dizzy.

“You should go,” the voice says a couple of silent moments later. “It won’t last long.”

“What won’t?”

“The rain. I think it’s calmed down.”

“Oh… Yeah, it has. I should uh… I should get going, then.”

“Otherwise you may be stuck here all night. That would be silly...”

“Yeah…”

“Goodbye, Delivery Person.”

“Bye, Miss Thorul. Happy Christmas.” ________________________________________________________________

It’s been six days and Kara most definitely isn’t still hung up on the woman on the thirty-eighth floor. No matter what anyone says, Alex is a blatant liar. And she definitely hasn’t spent hours imagining what the woman looks like or anything. No, that’s creepy and Kara isn’t even going to talk about the mystery sketches on her sketchbook of a woman she has never met. That’s even creepier.

It’s New Year’s Eve, a time for family and celebration and change and big decisions that no one ever follows through with and Kara is all about that. She’s also all about pleasing everyone in her life and putting them before her own self so of course she says yes when Snapper calls her in for an extra evening shift. She’s going to quit one of those days, she swears she is. Until then, however, all she can do is smile and nod and wait for her shift to be over so she can go home and- not potato cause she said she would host everyone this evening, why does she always have to go above and beyond?

The bell above the door signals the arrival of a customer and Kara’s eyes fall on the clock above her. Eleven twenty. ‘Go home,’ she thinks before plastering a big smile on her face and turning around. The woman standing in front of her does not look like she’s supposed to be there at all. Kara eyes the fur coat that’s draped on her shoulders and the undoubtedly expensive jewelry she’s wearing and suddenly feels very underdressed even though she’s wearing her work uniform, like she’s supposed to, and the strange newcomer is dressed like she’s on her way to a red carpet.

“Hey, welcome to Big Belly Burger, what can I get you?” she asks in one breath before her voice and all coherent thoughts decide to completely leave her body.

“Hi, sorry, my car just broke down and I need to be somewhere soon,” the woman says in a voice Kara can vaguely recognize but not quite. “Is there a phone I can use or…?”

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry! There’s a phone over here.” Kara picks up the wireless phone and offers it to the woman who grabs it with a look of gratefulness in her eyes. “I don’t think you’re gonna find any taxis or anything now, though,” Kara says softly. “Everyone’s home already…”

“You’re right…” the woman says. “And I gave my driver the day off too…” she mutters and Kara stifles a chuckle. Of course she has a driver, how could she not. “I’ll just- I’ll call my friend. I’m so sorry about this.” The woman apologizes almost on autopilot as her fingers are flying over the buttons. She hesitates for a second before pressing the call button. Kara can hear it ring twice before someone picks up and the woman tentatively walks away from the counter. “Hey. Yes, I know what time it is… My car broke down. [...] Some burger place, does it matter? [...] No, my phone is dead and Lucas has the day off. [...] Because he has a family and he went to see them. Look, can you send someone to pick me up? [...] Yes, I know you can’t leave your guests, I didn’t ask you to come. [...] Okay. [...] Yeah, okay, I’ll wait by the station. [...] Okay. Thank you.” The woman sighs as she hangs up the phone, her shoulders slumping visibly when she makes her way back to the counter, her lips pressed in a tight, forced smile. “Thank you,” she says softly. “Again, sorry about this, you probably need to be on your way home, too.”

“It’s honestly no bother,” Kara smiles. “Can I get you anything while you wait? On the house!” The woman lets out a laugh at the words and Kara can feel herself blush.

“It’s okay,” she says, her smile more honest this time. “I’ll just wait by the station, they should be here soon.”

“If you’re sure… I can wait with you if you want?” Kara offers.

“No, no, it’s fine,” the woman insists in a way that tells Kara she should stop offering her help. “I might take you up on that offer, though. How about a milkshake for the road? Chocolate. I’ll need all the endorphins I can get tonight.”

“Rough night?” Kara asks as she gets to making the drink.

“Rough family is more like it,” the woman lets out a bitter laugh. “Not the kind I would want to be spending new year’s with, anyway.”

Kara can only shrug slightly in response. “Oh… I’m sorry,” she offers "Well, here's to a better family," she jokes and shakes her head when the woman reaches into her bag for her wallet. “On the house, remember?” she asks. “It’s my last good deed of the decade, don’t ruin it for me.” They both laugh at that but Kara can tell the woman is having none of it.

“Okay… Let me do my last good deed of the decade too, then,” she says as she fishes out a crisp note from her wallet and folds it carefully before Kara even has a chance to see the amount. She goes to put it in the tip jar but hesitates for a moment; hands it to Kara instead with a smile and a wink that the blonde knows should have maybe creeped her out a little bit, but has just made the stomach do a flip instead. “I should get going,” the woman says after that, milkshake cup in one hand and a pen and a piece of paper in the other. “I’ll see you around.” She offers a small smile along with the piece of paper and Kara copies it tentatively.

“What about your car?” she asks as the woman steps into the cold night.

“I’ll have someone collect it in the morning,” the woman replies. “Thanks again for your help.” ...

It’s fifteen minutes to midnight when Kara finally makes it back to her apartment and she doesn’t think he’s ever been happier for having given Alex a spare set of keys. Everyone’s already there, the table is set, there’s a countdown for the new year on TV and a bunch of board games scattered around the floor. It all brings a beaming smile on Kara’s face.

“There she is!” It’s Winn the one who notices her first, immediately followed by Alex who gets up for a hug.

“Cutting it a bit close there, aren’t you?” she laughs as she wraps her arm around Kara who rests her head against her sister’s shoulder.

“I’m here now so let’s not talk about work, please?” Kara pleads with a smile and Alex nods.

“Tomorrow,” she says and it’s Kara’s turn to nod now.

“Tomorrow,” she agrees. “Now where’s the food? I’m starving!” They’re both laughing as they make their way to the kitchen, but it doesn’t take Kara too long to stop dead on her tracks and glare at the table.

“Why is there broccoli here?” she asks, a mask of disgust settling on her features. “This is disgraceful. Sam is great and everything, Alex, but this is a step too far!” Her anticks make Alex laugh.

“It’s not for Sam, you dope,” she chuckles. “It’s for Lena, Sam’s friend.”

“Who eats burgers with…”

‘Is that my burger you’re eating? Is it good?’

‘The added broccoli was a bad idea.’ ��

“...broccoli…”

“Hello, earth to Kara.” Kara has to blink herself back to the present. “You alright? You spaced out for a moment there.”

“I thought she wasn’t coming?”

Alex raises her shoulders. “She texted Sam just before you arrived. Apparently, New Year’s with her family was worse than she expected so she’ll be joining us in a bit.”

Kara frowns at that. “I’m onto you and your girlfriend, Danvers,” she says, making Alex roll her eyes.

“Alright, Sherlock, calm down,” she laughs. “There’s no grand plot here, just someone who had a shitty time and we’re helping them have a better New Year’s.” The doorbell rings almost as if on cue, Sam’s voice echoing through the apartment.

“I’ll get it! Lena, hi! ”

“She’s here. Go be hospitable!” Alex grabs the burger from Kara’s hands and pushes her towards the living room.

Kara sees the fur coat before anything else. Sam is helping her friend take it off and her back is turned to her so she can’t see the newcomer’s face, but she’s seen that coat before.

“I didn’t know what to bring so I just brought red and white.” she hears Lena say in that same, vaguely familiar voice “And rose,” she laughs and it’s only a millisecond before she turns around and her eyes fall on Kara who’s standing frozen by the kitchen. A frown passes across her face before recognition settles in. “I know you,” she says, her eyes shining as she takes a step towards the blonde. “You saved my ass earlier,” she says brightly before turning to Sam. “That’s who gave me a phone to call my mother, unwise as that idea was,” she explains with a smile and Kara has to laugh at the disbelief that crosses Sam’s features.

“Fuck off… Seriously?” Lena nods before making her way to Kara, her arm stretched for a handshake.

“I’m Lena,” she says with a smile. “It’s good to meet you under better circumstances.”

“Kara,” is all Kara manages to say before her brain completely fails her. “I’m uh… This is my apartment, hi.” She resists the fact to physically slap herself and settles on doing it mentally.

“Well, nice to meet you and your apartment, Kara. I apologize for my earlier state, I was… Well, let’s just say it wasn’t my best look.” Kara wonders what said best look is like.

“It’s fine,” she says and lets silence wash over them. “Are you hungry? There’s food in the kitchen and Sam made sure we have your favorite.”

Lena frowns at that. “Kale?”

“No, burgers with broccoli,” Kara states. “I thought it couldn’t get worse than that, but you just proved me wrong… Kale…”

“Oh, see someone told me a few days ago that adding broccoli to my burger is a bad idea… So I’ve decided to listen to them and their obviously superior taste.”

Kara gapes at the woman like a fish, her mouth opening and closing without any sound coming out. “I… You… The…” Seems like her brain is incapable of completing a single thought, let alone forming a coherent sentence.

“Kar, come on! It’s time for the countdown!” Kara shakes her head at the sound of her sister calling her but makes no move to go to her, her eyes still glued on the woman standing in front of her instead. The woman from the thirty-eighth floor. The woman who Kara hasn't spent days thinking about and who is definitely not the subject of her most recent sketches.

They all count the year down together, wine dangerously close to spilling every time the number changes and Alex sways enthusiastically. They all cheer when the clock chimes twelve, marking the end of an era and, quite possibly, the beginning of a new one, drinks forgotten as they all hug and kiss each other with huge smiles on their faces.

“Happy new year, Delivery Person,” comes a low voice from Kara’s left and she jumps slightly in surprise.

“Happy new year, Miss Thorul,” she replies with a smile and a blush that she’s pretty sure is reaching her ears.

“That’s not my name,” Lena says as she leans in closer to Kara.

“I don’t know your name,” Kara whispers, her heart beating a mile a minute. Is this going where she thinks it’s going? Does she want it to go where she thinks it’s going?

“I’ll see what I can do to change that, then,” Lena says and Kara knows, at this very moment, that she definitely wants this to go where she thinks it’s going and then, hopefully, even further.

[fortunatelylori]

Hey, GOT! Turn on the freaking lights!

I don’t know if I’ve ever talked about this on my blog but I’m from a little country in Eastern Europe called Romania. I was born and raised in Bucharest, as was all of my family dating back centuries. 

One of the most important landmarks in Bucharest is this building right here: 

It’s called the House of the People or, more recently, Parliament House. This is so huge that you simply can’t escape it. At times it feels as if the whole of Romania lives in the shadow of this structure. 

It was built by Nicolae Ceausescu, our once communist dictator. Everything about it is meant to intimidate and impress. Entire neighborhoods and monuments dating back hundreds of years were torn to the ground in order to make room for it. 

It’s impressive in all its megalomaniac glory and the inside is just as over the top. You’ve got entire rooms made of marble, with columns so high it makes you dizzy just looking up. When you enter you’re greeted by a huge staircase made of marble as well and wall high paintings of the Ceausescu spouses going about their communist life:

Looking at separate elements, there is beauty there and even artistry. Taken as a whole, it’s a fucking architectural, visual and cultural disaster. 

Now, I’m not suggesting HBO and the Ds are communist tyrants but what I am saying that that a huge amount of money, time, talent and effort is being sunk into this tv show and the results are the story telling equivalent of the House of the People. There are good things sprinkled in there but the basic structure and flow of this story has sunk to such depths that it’s hard to find the experience of watching GOT pleasurable anymore. It’s become an exercise in futility and wasted potential. 

This episode is even worse because GOT has so much money to burn that usually you can at least enjoy the production values and the visual spectacle that offers you. This episode is, unfortunately, called the “Long Night” so buckle up for an hour and a half of complete darkness, punctuated by brief flashes of human forms darting back and forth on your TV screen. So this is the equivalent of the House of the People at night, covered in thick fog, when the electricity has gone out. 

The bad news about having the episode filmed in darkness is that it’s practically impossible for you to be invested in the action since you can’t see who is doing what or what they are going through while doing it. The good news is that the story tellers will do their utmost to make sure you also don’t give a shit.

General Impressions

This episode we are fortunate enough to get a respite from David Nutter, one of the worst directors I’ve ever had the misfortune of directing tv shows I like and we are treated instead to the talents of Miguel Sapochnik. I’ve loved most of his work on GOT, with my favorite episode of his being Hardhome. And I’m sure he did a fantastic job in this episode, coordinating what is essentially an hour and a half long battle. However, since I couldn’t really see much of what was going on in the action packed sequences, I’m basing that assessment more on faith, than solid proof. 

This episode also has the distinction of completing Jon Snow’s journey into complete irrelevancy.  Jon doesn’t do much of anything of consequence. Instead he simply stumbles from one failure to another: from following D*ny in destroying the wights army instead of getting to Bran (if D*ny wanted to destroy the wights, why couldn’t Jon hop on Rhaegal to go to the Godswood? why do both of them need to be there to burn the zombies?); to his almost success in taking down wight Viserion only for it to go to nothing when the dragon is still alive and proceeds to burn down Winterfell; to charging the Night King through a field of dead bodies only for the most obvious twist of the NK raising the dead to stop him in his tracks and finally completely abandoning his ethos to protect those in need by leaving Sam to die at the hands of the wights in order to get to Bran. He, of course, never makes it to the Godswood and ends the episode jumping from behind a rock to scream at wight Viserion, without even pulling out his sword to attempt to fight back. It’s enough to make one ...

My thoughts exactly, Jon. 

What a complete and utter waste. 

Talking of wastes, we are now 3 and a half hours through this season and the Starks have yet to be together in the same room, having a conversation. All through the seasons we have waited with baited breath for these kids to be reunited. The Ds, trolls that they are, baited us with just that at the beginning of season 7, only for it to never materialize. Now they have outdone even themselves by putting the Starks under the same roof and using every trick in their troll textbook to make sure we get absolutely no satisfaction for our Stark itch. 

On top of that, we have been led to believe that these 4 people (ok, 3 since Bran is a robot now) care about each other. You’d think that they would seek each other out and at least hug before the battle that could potentially kill one or all of them. That doesn’t happen. 

I think the reason why it doesn’t happen is because the Ds felt there was no point in wasting time on that when all 4 of them were going to survive. The problem is that the audience doesn’t know that and should at least fear that they won’t survive. 

Most importantly, the characters themselves have no idea that they got a death immunity card for the greatest battle to visit this planet in 8000 years. So to have them completely forget about one another is just piss poor writing. 

The closest we get is this scene between Arya and Sansa: 

Arya: Get down to the crypt. 

Sansa: I’m not abandoning my people. 

Arya: Take this and go. 

Sansa: I don’t know how to use it. 

Arya: Stick them with the pointy end. 

This might as well be a conversation between two strangers who kind of decided they really don’t like each other very much, instead of two sisters who might never see each other again. Sansa goes as far as to refuse to leave not because she doesn’t want to leave her sister but because she doesn’t want to abandon “her people”. 

It’s not wrong of Sansa to want to stay with the people of Winterfell but it does make the conversation less poignant and emotional because there’s nothing personal about this exchange. Nor do these two even spare one tearful glace for one another. That is reserved for this scene: 

That’s where the show’s priorities lay. Why did they include this scene? Was it only to fan the flames of the Sanrion ship? I would say no. I think they’re laying the groundwork for whatever plot point Sansa and Tyrion will be involved in, which will inevitably circle back to Cersei one way or another. 

And while it was a poignant scene, I can’t help but begrudge that they gave us this at the expense of the Sansa/Arya scene or a potential Sansa/Jon scene. 

Also, a lot of people are now complaining that Sansa didn’t fight during this episode which makes her useless (the same old tired argument so no surprise there) but they completely miss the point as to why her lack of fighting is frustrating. It isn’t because Sansa didn’t turn into Xena, the warrior princess, in this episode. It’s because the Ds set up something but then didn’t follow through. Sansa received a dagger and advice on how to use it. Normally that would lead to her having to do just that, particularly when in the scene above she pulls out the very same dagger. But wouldn’t you know it? Once she stands up and charges, she does absolutely NOTHING! It isn’t that she fails. It’s that the writers didn’t even feel the need to show her try. They set up that plot point and then left it dangling with no pay off. 

There are multiple examples of this type of tepid storytelling though out the episode but I think the most glaring one is Bran. He has been building up to his confrontation with the Night King since season 1. And all of that amounted to what exactly? Bran did nothing but sit in the Godswood and wait for the NK to try to kill him. So why did he go through that entire, excruciating journey exactly? What vital information did he discover that led to the demise of the NK? What magical abilities did he posses that were crucial against his greatest foe? He didn’t even warg a dragon for Pete’s sake even though that should have been a given. 

In the behind the scenes commentary, the Ds said that the key to destroying the NK was either stabbing him directly in the spot where the COF inserted the shard of dragon glass or killing him next to the Weirwood tree, depending on what you understood by their comments. 

Either way, that information did not make it into the TV show. Bran never says that, despite having opportunity to do so during the council meeting in episode 2. So it doesn’t matter what the Ds say in interviews. If it isn’t on screen, it doesn’t exist. 

On the whole, the most frustrating part of the episode was the actual battle. Leaving aside the poor lighting, what I got form this episode is that 130.000 men (based on my super duper math skills utilized for ep 2) had absolutely no strategy and no stamina to at least attempt to fight a hoard of mindless zombies. It took all of 10 minutes for all these hardened soldiers (with one exception which we will discuss later on) to break ranks and flee for their lives. 

Also why did Jorah lead 100.000 of those men, consisting of the entire Dothraki khalasar acting as the Winterfell army’s cavalry, on a charge into the darkness of certain death? I don’t know a lot about battle strategy but I do know that when you have a key position (in this case Winterfell), you don’t charge. You wait for the enemy to come to you. And once the army broke, everyone of those people were running around like headless chickens, with no clue how to regroup or mount an effective defense of one of the most impenetrable castles in the whole of Westeros. Robb Stark must be spinning in his grave like kale in a hipster’s smoothie. Imagine what he could have been able to do with 130.000 men. 

It pains me to say this but the Night King was genuinely the only one on that battlefield who had an actual plan, could adapt to what was thrown at him (the trenches, falling off the dragon etc.) and complete his mission. He was defeated in the end but his defeat consisted not only of the unexpected in the form of Arya and her FM training but also on the lack of reaction of all the wights and the white walkers that were there which, frankly, stretches disbelief. 

PS: While sparing not one single moment for character or plot development, GOT did find the time to rip off How to Train your Dragon ... again ...

Give it up, guys. You don’t have half the vision and talent of the HTTYD squad. This just makes you look silly. 

Favorite scenes

The “Blood of my Blood” scene: 

I loved the whole sequence of D*ny and Jorah. From Jorah sweeping in like a knight in shinning armor to protect D*ny, to him getting up through multiple stab wounds because he couldn’t give up on trying to save her, to D*ny picking up a freaking sword and fighting despite not knowing how to try and defend him, to her break down over his dead body and Drogon coiling up around her to try to comfort her. 

Just looking at these gifs makes me want to cry. One of the only truly meaningful and emotional moments in the whole episode and an apt ending to the most important relationship in D*ny’s life. Kudos to Emilia and Iain on giving it their all in this scene. 

The “You’re home” scene: 

Speaking of acting chops, Alfie Allen, ladies and gentlemen! Truly one of the best actors in this cast. And this scene really brought Theon full circle. The man who didn’t feel like he belonged anywhere, who went through hell and back, who lost his humanity and clawed his way back to it, died defending the only place he’s ever known as home. Alongside the D*ny/Jorah scene, this really broke me down. Also this: 

Bran: Theon! You’re a good man. Thank you. 

cue the ugly crying right now

Just wonderful! I hope Alfie has a long career in front of him because he’s sooo good. 

The “Final atonement” scene: 

The reason why I loved Mel’s death scene so much is because it brings to completion the burning of Shrieen. Despite her religious fantaticism and her ruthlessness, sacrificing that little girl did take it’s toll on Melisandre. It shook her to her core. So much so that she walked into the frozen wasteland, took off her necklace and killed herself. The fact that the entire sequence is punctuated by Davos watching her walk to her death makes it all the more meaningful. 

It surprised me that they chose this way to bring an end to her character but I feel it enriched her story and my perception of her. 

Episode MVPs

The Unsullied: 

I was curious about what they would do with the Unsullied during the battle because their fighting style is perfectly suited to castle defense. Also, because of this story from the History and Lore series: 

The Unsullied are known for their discipline and willingness to stand their ground against the greatest adversaries. They are canonically so impressive that not only did they beat the Dothraki but all the Dothraki riders cut off their braids and placed them at their feet to honor their bravery and prowess.

Considering that not only were the Unsullied the only soldiers at Winterfell to actually stick to their guns and fight strategically and bravely but they also ensured the retreat of all the other forces, the people of Winterfell need to be cutting off their own hair and honor these brave men. 

Arya “It is Princess after all” Stark: 

Aaaa ... yeah, she is the princess that was promised, y’all!

Arya’s story in this episode was the most complete and compelling one. Starting off with her “I know Death. He has many faces. I look forward to seeing this one” bravado, to her rawness and vulnerability when she realized what she was up against to her putting all that Faceless Men training to good use and managing to sneak up on the Night King just enough to end him. 

Arya Stark has just killed Death! A true warrior, if there ever was one! I hope this marks an end to her FM arc and a gradual return of at least part of the kindness and empathy Arya was defined by in season 1. 

Daenerys “Why do you want me to feel sorry for her?” Targareyen: 

Well, this is strange ... I never thought I’d make D*ny an MVP in these reviews but fair is fair. The girl was a champ this episode. 

I know some people seem to think that she’s the reason why the battle plan went haywire because she decided to attack the wight army after seeing her khalasar wiped out. However ... for one, she had just seen all of her Dothraki cut down. Clearly whatever strategy they had going wasn’t working. Secondly, I seem to remember in episode 2 that Tyrion offered to wave the torch so Dany could set the trench on fire so obviously she and Jon were not suppose to just stick to the Godswood for the entire duration of the battle. 

Still, I think the reason why I found D*ny so formidable this episode was because she was placed directly in contrast with Jon and unlike Mr. Can’t seem to get anything right these Days Snow, D*ny did actually put up a fight, saved Jon’s life even at the risk of injury to Drogon and attacked the Night King head on. 

Yes, dragon fire was ineffectual against the NK but she gave it her all and I appreciate that. As thanks for her bravery and loyalty (despite now knowing that Jon is her rival to the IT), Jon abandoned her without hesitation, proving once again that he genuinely doesn’t give a shit about her. At this point, I honestly don’t understand why D*ny stans are shipping her with Jon. They should have higher standards for their fave. 

The way they chose to portray D*ny in this episode is interesting because, despite D*ny’s actions, dark D*ny and the Dance of Dragons is still happening, in my humble opinion. That means that we are left in a bit of a conundrum: D*ny has now fulfilled her end of the bargain. She has fought the army of the dead and lost a significant percentage of her army and Jorah in the process. Which leaves us with the inevitability that Jon and the Starks will not only go against the woman that helped them protect their home but will prove themselves mercenary and dishonorable for doing so. Also because of the prolonged absence of Jon’s POV and the lack of scenes of the Starks together, D*ny, being the only one we have clear access to narratively, becomes more and more sympathetic. 

In some ways this choice frustrates me because D*ny has done some truly horrific things and story-wise those have yet to be addressed or paid off. By making her more and more sympathetic and the Starks more antagonistic in relation to her, it makes it harder to deliver the comeuppance she has earned over the seasons. 

On the other hand, there is something about this type of narrative choice that appeals to me. The line between hero and villain is practically nonexistent and it’s up to each and everyone of us to pick a side, based more on our subjective experiences and less on objective narrative reasons.  

It brings to mind the first Dance of Dragons where you could very well make an argument in favor of both the Black and Green factions because there was no clear cut answer on who was right and who was wrong.  

*none of the art work belongs to me. thank you to the content creators!

[phantom-le6]

Episode Reviews - Star Trek: The Next Generation Season 5 (2 of 6)

Later than planned due to the Snooker World Championship final, here’s my second round of reviews for season 5 of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Episode 6: The Game

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

Commander Riker visits Risa and is introduced to a video game by Etana Jol, a Ktarian woman with whom he has become sexually involved during his vacation on the pleasure planet. Riker, upon his return to the Enterprise, distributes replicated copies of the game to the crew of the starship.

 Cadet Wesley Crusher, on vacation from Starfleet Academy, is visiting the Enterprise and notices everyone playing the game (and trying to convince him to play as well). Doctor Beverly Crusher, Wesley's mother, secretly switches off Lt. Commander Data and sabotages his circuits, because he would be immune to the game's addictive properties. The game addicts people who play it by stimulating the pleasure centres of their brains when they successfully complete each level.

 Wesley reports to Captain Picard his suspicions that the game is dangerous. However, Picard is already addicted. Eventually, Wesley and his new girlfriend, Ensign Robin Lefler, are the only people on the ship who have yet to become addicted to the game. Wesley and Robin discover that Data's injuries were in fact sabotage, and begin working on a plan to stop the spread of the game. Wesley meets Robin in engineering, where he learns that she has come under the influence of the game, presumably having been captured by the crew and forced to play. Riker and Worf pursue Wesley, as he is the last non-addicted person on the ship. Wesley evades them for a time, but they eventually trap him in an access tunnel and take him to the bridge, where he is restrained and forced to play the game.

 Data, having been examined and repaired by Wesley before he was forced to submit to the game, frees the rest of the crew from their mind-controlled state by flashing pulses of light in their faces from a handheld lamp known as a palm beacon. The crew is then able to discern the purpose of the game: It rendered them extremely susceptible to the power of suggestion, compelling them to aid the games' creators, the Ktarians, in an attempt to take control of the Enterprise and eventually the Federation. Picard captures the Ktarian vessel, captained by Etana Jol, responsible for distributing the games and has it towed to the nearest spacedock. Wesley and Lefler bid each other a reluctant farewell as he returns to Starfleet Academy.

Review:

Following Wesley’s departure from the show’s main ensemble of characters in season 4, Wil Wheaton reprised the role for three episodes and a single cinematic cameo, and this episode is the first of those reprisal moments.  Now on the plus side, we get to see Wesley get a girlfriend in the form of young Ensign Robin Lefler, played by guest actress Ashley Judd, and he proves fairly adept as the lead protagonist in the episode.  However, he’s unfortunately landed as the lead protagonist in an episode that’s a total bloody howler in terms of its plot.  First of all, the concept of an addictive video game?  Red Dwarf beat Star Trek to this with Better Than Life in the novel adaptation of their series, and did a far better job on the concept.  Also, I’ve gone off anything using anything even remotely linked to hypnosis in a negative light where fiction is concerned, and the design of the game’s ‘discs’ being a spiral pattern is a clear visual nod to visual-based hypnotic inductions if I ever saw one.

 However, the real problem is that this is Trek trying to hammer out a ‘video games are addictive’ message, and frankly it’s right up there with anytime someone rails against violence and anything else in video games as something to piss me off.  Why? Because the world was full of things that people could get addicted to or that were violent well before computer games existed.  Drugs, including alcohol and nicotine, are addictive.  Gambling is addictive.  Sex is addictive, but guess what?  Not everyone is walking around with a constant need to down a ton of pills with half a liquor store and a pack of cigarettes, buy a hundred lottery tickets and then boink everyone on their street.  Likewise, the violence in video games is nothing compared to all the other violence in human history.  Two World Wars, the Crusades, dozens of other wars and skirmishes the world over and goodness knows how many murders, honour duels and the like all before we got anywhere near a home computer game of even the most basic variety.

 The reality is that addiction to anything is a serious issue, and frankly the anti-drugs episode back in season 1 of this series did better addressing it than this episode does.  It’s a near-total train-wreck, ironically saved by the one character many people often found most irksome in the show’s early years. For me, it’s only worth 4 out of 10. Oh, and Will?  There are some women you need to say no to, so maybe adding that word to your vocabulary next time you’re on Risa.

Episode 7: Unification (Part 1)

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

Starfleet Admiral Brackett informs Captain Picard that Ambassador Spock is missing and an intelligence scan has placed him on Romulus, raising fears that he may have defected. Picard orders the Enterprise to Vulcan to speak to Spock's ailing father, Sarek, with whom Picard shares a close bond. Sarek mentions Pardek, a Romulan Senator with whom Spock had been maintaining a dialogue for several decades. Lt. Commander Data discovers a visual record of Pardek from a trade conference and confirms that he is the other figure seen on the intelligence scan of Spock on Romulus. The Enterprise crew find the remains of a decommissioned Vulcan ship, the T'Pau, in the debris of a Ferengi ship which crashed in the Hanolin asteroid belt.

 Picard calls in a favour from Klingon Chancellor Gowron, speaking to one of his aides and convincing him to lend them a Klingon ship that could take them to Romulus while cloaked. Picard and Data board the ship, with Picard ordering Riker to investigate the T'Pau and try to find a link to the Romulans. En route, the Klingons inform Picard that they intercepted a message of interest to him: Sarek has died.

 On Romulus, Picard and Data (disguised as Romulans) locate the spot where the picture of Pardek and Spock was taken, which Data determines is a legal office. They wait until Pardek arrives, but when they approach him, they find themselves met by soldiers and taken to a cavern. Pardek arrives, explaining that Romulan security knew they were on-planet and they've been brought underground for their safety. Picard states that he is looking for Ambassador Spock, who emerges from a nearby tunnel.

Review:

Although Star Trek’s creator Gene Roddenberry died a few days the previous episode aired, it is the Unification 2-parter episode that bears a memorial tribute to him at the beginning of each of his segments, and rightly so.  This two-part arc was meant not only as part of a cross-promotion between the Next Generation and Star Trek VI, but also as a way to mark the 25th anniversary of the original series first airing.  Frankly, there’s little I can think of that would be more apt in that regard than to have Spock guest-star in a special instalment of TNG, though admittedly part 1 sees very little Spock.  However, to my mind, this is actually a good thing.

 As cool as it is having an original series character guest-star on TNG is, the show has worked hard to be its own thing and not be simply a direct continuation or a poor rip-off of the original show.  Because of that, delaying Spock’s entry helps TNG retain its own identity; a rush to have Spock on screen could have undermined any sense of TNG as its own show. Moreover, some characters have a certain ‘larger than life’ reputation among fan-bases, and good writers will understand this and build them up as an idea, a symbol of themselves in the minds of an audience before the character really appears.  A key example of this approach in other media is how writer Brad Meltzer tackles the introduction of DC Comics’ ‘big three’ into the events of the mini-series/graphic novel Identity Crisis.

 Overall, part 1 of Unification is very good at building us up to moment of meeting Spock, as well as putting us on Romulus for the first time in Trek history and just generally telling a good story, one which also echoed real-life issues like the re-unification of Germany after the collapse of the Berlin Wall.  In fact, I would say all that robs this episode of top marks is that the remaining Enterprise crew doesn’t have the greatest of B-plots to deal with once Picard and Data head for Romulus.  Granted, it pays off in part 2, but somehow I feel it could have been better, though for the life of me I can’t think of how.  End score for this one is 9 out of 10.

Episode 8: Unification (Part 2)

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

Spock demands that Picard leave Romulus. Picard informs him of the Federation's concern over his "cowboy diplomacy" and tells him that Sarek has died. Spock takes the news of his father's death stoically. He explains to Picard that during the peace negotiations with the Klingons decades earlier, he felt responsible for putting Captain Kirk and his crew at risk, and so is now working alone on a "personal mission of peace" to re-unify the Vulcan and Romulan people. He is working with an underground movement to achieve that aim. Pardek has asked Spock to come to Romulus to meet with the new Proconsul of the Romulan Senate, a young idealist who has promised reforms. Picard expresses concern that the willingness of the Romulans may be part of a larger ploy; Spock agrees but points out that if a larger plot is at work, it is best they play out their roles within it to uncover it.

 Picard, Data, and Spock are soon captured by Commander Sela, who is planning a Romulan conquest of Vulcan. The stolen Vulcan ship and two others are carrying a Romulan invasion force, under the guise of escorting a peace envoy. Spock refuses to deceive his people by announcing the false news, even after Sela threatens to kill him, and she locks the three in her office and leaves to order the ships on their way. By the time she returns, Data has hacked into the Romulan computer system and created a holographic simulation that distracts her long enough for the three captives to incapacitate her and her officers.

 Meanwhile, the Enterprise arrives at Galorndon Core following their investigation into one of the missing Vulcan ships. They detect the three Vulcan ships and moves to intercept them as they cross the Neutral Zone. A medical distress signal comes in, but as Riker orders the ship toward its source, they receive a broadcast from Romulus in which Spock reveals the true nature of the Vulcan ships, and Riker orders Dr Crusher to check the source of the medical distress call, suspecting it to be a Romulan ruse. A Romulan Warbird uncloaks, destroys the ships, and recloaks, killing the troops instead of allowing them to be captured.

 On Romulus, Data and Picard bid farewell to Spock. The Ambassador is intent upon his goal, realizing that it cannot be achieved through diplomacy or politics. Picard offers Spock a chance to touch what Sarek shared with him, and the two mind-meld.

Review:

Discounting the various alien bar scenes that factor into the Enterprise’s B-plot (for goodness sake, TNG, you’re not supposed to be Star Wars and that is certainly not Mos Eisley Cantina), the second part of Unification is about as good as the first part.  According to Memory Alpha, the writers felt like this episode was a bit too talky and wanted more action in retrospect, but with respect I disagree. Trek is made for being talky at times, and anything involving Leonard Nimoy and Patrick Stewart working together as Spock and Picard more or less demands it.  Had it been Riker and Kirk, then I could understand the action impulse. Moreover, as I just noted a moment ago, this is Star Trek and not Star Wars.  Trek is about issue and character exploration, about delving into matters of substance, not shallow action scenes and plots with little to no issue exploration or substance.  If action isn’t going to serve something deeper on Trek, then it’s best left to one side.

 The A-Plot works to a nice conclusion, and it’s cool to see Commander Sela back, even if you still have the issue that she looks like a Romulan clone of Tasha Yar and not her daughter.  It’s the character’s last appearance, which in some ways is a shame considering the later Romulan stories in this show and in Deep Space Nine.  The Enterprise also gets at least a decent, albeit slightly anti-climactic, conclusion to its b-plot.  Nothing more to really say; just going to hand down a score of 9 out of 10 and warp over to the next episode in this run.

Episode 9: A Matter of Time

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

En route to Penthara IV to assist its population in combating the effects of reduced temperatures created by a dust cloud from a recent asteroid impact, the Enterprise encounters a nearby temporal distortion, and finds a small pod containing a single human occupant. Beaming aboard the Enterpise, the human introduces himself as Professor Berlinghoff Rasmussen, a historian from the 26th century who has time-travelled to witness the Enterprise complete this "historic" mission at Penthara IV. He requests that the crew complete questionnaires for him, but reveals little about himself as he does not wish to alter history. Rasmussen's investigations are somewhat annoying to the crew but they entertain him.

 At Penthara IV, the Enterprise uses its phasers to drill into the planet to release carbon dioxide, creating a greenhouse effect to warm the planet, but this creates a side effect of increasing seismic activity and causing volcanoes to erupt, threatening to worsen the impact winter they were trying to end to ice age proportions. Chief Engineer La Forge and Lt. Commander Data offer a solution of ionizing the upper atmosphere, but the manoeuvre must be done precisely or they could risk burning off the entire atmosphere and killing all 20 million on the surface. With the severity of the decision, Captain Picard attempts to gain Rasmussen's help, claiming this is a scenario where any possible temporal equivalent of the Prime Directive can be overridden, but Rasmussen refuses to offer advice, noting by his era, the fate of all those on Penthara IV has already been decided. Picard decides to allow La Forge and Data to go through with the plan, which is successful and returns the planet to its normal climate.

 Rasmussen prepares to leave with his research done, but is met by a security team at his pod. Picard informs him several items have gone missing and requests to see the inside of his pod. Rasmussen reminds him again of the possible temporal prime directive, and asks if only Data goes in to look for their missing equipment, as Data can be ordered not to reveal anything about the future to the crew. Picard agrees. Inside, Data finds the missing items but discovers Rasmussen has him at phaser-point. Rasmussen explains he is really a disgruntled inventor from the 22nd century New Jersey that stole this pod from a 26th-century traveller, and intended to return to his time and profit by selling the Enterprise equipment as his inventions, and now that he has Data, he plans to take him back as well. However, Rasmussen finds his phaser does not work, as once he opened the pod, the ship's sensors were able to disable it. Data forces an anxious Rasmussen outside along with the stolen equipment, and Rasmussen tries to apologize and asks to be allowed to depart. Picard instead has Rasmussen placed under arrest, and the pod automatically disappears, leaving him stranded in the 24th century.

Review:

Before I get into the review itself, a bit of house-keeping I had to bring up.  Prior to this episode, Trek had been steadfastly anti-time travel for much of its history due to it being one of Gene Roddenberry’s ‘rules’ that Trek avoided this sometimes-overused sci-fi trope.  As a result, Trek did not have a temporal version of the Prime Directive, which is why when Picard discusses this at one point with Rasmussen, he wonders if the supposed historian is following a temporal equivalent.  As such, all references to the temporal prime directive being cited in this episode on any form of wiki sight are wrong and premature; you can’t reference a temporal prime directive that has yet to exist because there’s previously been no reason to even have one.

 Now, all that said, I think this episode was ok, but a bit all over the place.  Is it about suggesting that deliberately creating a greenhouse effect could be a possible solution to impact winters?  Is it about using that as an excuse to explore the nature of causality and the potential ramifications of time travel?  Frankly, for me time-travel is all too often a confusing thing because it invites paradox and gives you a headache in doing so.  For this reason alone, the multiverse concept of time-travel used more recently in the Marvel Cinematic Universe is better.  Also, all that talk about avoiding contamination of the time-line and then you let a guy from your past remain in your present, knowing that by Trek standards that could alter history?  Pretty sloppy, but as I’ve noted, Trek was still new at time-travel at this stage.  Overall, I give this episode about 7 out of 10; some of the acting, especially from Patrick Stewart, helps compensate for some of the confusion factor.

Episode 10: New Ground

Plot (as given by me):

While Lt. Commander La Forge is getting excited about a test of soliton wave technology, which could enable ships to travel at warp speeds without a warp drive or engines, Lt. Worf learns his human mother and Alexander have come to visit him via the transport ship Milan. When they beam aboard, however, Alexander claims he won’t be returning.  It turns out Worf’s human parents feel that they are too old to act as parents anymore, and they have seen Alexander show troubling behaviours that they feel only the guidance of his father can help him through.

 Worf attempts to incorporate being a parent into his life on board the Enterprise, but faces numerous challenges.  In addition to trying to tackle the minutia of enrolling Alexander at school and registering him with sickbay, Worf also struggles to deal with Alexander’s problem behaviours, which include lying and stealing.  When the behaviours continue despite Worf teaching Alexander about honour and making him promise not to lie anymore, he decides to send Alexander to a Klingon school instead.

 Matters are complicated when the Enterprise is damaged during the soliton wave test, and the wave itself begins to exponentially gain in speed and power as it heads for a colony on Lemma II.  The decision is made to chase the wave, travel through it and then dissipate it using photon torpedoes.  However, the ship’s shields are not at full strength, and travelling through the wave leaves certain sections exposed to possible ion radiation when the wave is dissipated.  One section is bio-lab 4, which Alexander runs away to following another argument with his father; the trip through the wave causes a major fire in the lab and traps Alexander under debris.

 When the bridge crew learns of Alexander’s plight, Worf and Commander Riker race to Alexander’s aid, narrowly saving him and some endangered animals that were being transported in the bio-lab before the soliton wave had to be dissipated.  While Alexander recovers in sick bay, Worf offers Alexander a choice; to face the rigours of Klingon school, or face the potentially greater challenge of remaining on board the Enterprise.  Alexander chooses the latter option.

Review:

This is an episode that, much like the soliton wave from its B-plot, starts out weak and builds to strength at the climax.  At first, it’s almost cringe-worthy watching Worf try to play single parent and assume what he thinks a parent should be, not for a moment factoring in how Alexander has been raised up to now or how being sent to Earth after his mother’s death affected him.  You can see Worf’s discomfort with the whole situation is making him try to more or less duck the situation, which I can understand to a degree.  After all, no one likes being chucked in at the proverbial deep end of any scenario, and as an autistic person I absolutely hate it when that happens, so I can empathise with the whole set-up.

 However, Worf is not autistic, and he’s been around a crew that includes families for his entire stint on the Enterprise, so you’d think he’d adapt a bit quicker.  As it is, the A-plot is saved when the conflict puts Alexander in a position where the B-plot can endanger him, and for that final act of the episode, you get a great bit of dramatic television.  There’s nothing that can get you on the edge of your seat more than a child being in danger and their parent having to race to the rescue.  The fear and the worry of that situation charges everything with urgency and commands audience attention, which is a key reason why I think when Marvel put the Fantastic Four on the big screen for themselves, they have to include Reed and Sue’s son Franklin and put him in peril; otherwise, the F4 can’t distinguish themselves as they did in the comics.

 For me, it’s very much that final act that really makes this episode worth a watch, but only just.  Overall, I give this episode 6 out of 10.