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dawnsbreaking · 2 years

Text

total dark sublime

chapter five poe route rewrite pairing: poe colestead x cmc rose status: ongoing chapter wc: 2,452

She tucked her hands under her cheek and watched him expectantly as he covered her with the blanket, making it clear that she was waiting for him to speak. Her eyes looked so tired, Poe felt equally flattered and frustrated that she wanted to stay awake just to pry his thoughts from him. He wasn’t sure if anyone had ever cared that much what he was thinking.

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Poe closed his aunt’s door behind him. He needed a moment alone.

Before he had met Howie and Tess and inadvertently started the apocalypse, Poe had been quite lonely. Sharing an apartment with Douglas had made it a pain to invite people over, which had been a good excuse for him to not put effort into making friends. And until just a few days ago, Rose had just been an acquaintance, a crush that he had a few classes with.

As grateful as he was to have people with him now, he could not help but feel light in this moment of peace.

He took a seat on the edge of his aunt’s unmade bed, stomach sinking with fear and grief for her. With every passing moment, it became more possible that she was gone — killed by a zombie or worse. She should have come back home and hung her dog’s leash on the hook by the door and come back to her room. She should have made her bed, taken the pills in the daily pill organizer on her bedside, answered her phone when Poe called for help. He felt his eyes welling with tears and shook his head, scrunching his eyes shut to stop himself from crying. He had to find Rose a toothbrush and go to bed. Lack of sleep was making him feel more emotional than usual.

In the cabinet underneath Aunt Lynn’s bathroom sink, in a little clear box, she kept unopened containers of her favorite toiletries and makeup products. It made Poe’s heart ache to see the box right where it always was. His aunt was frugal, despite having enough money not to be, and always bought extra things when they were on sale or when she had coupons for them. This careful shopping resulted in a small surplus of odds and ends: toothbrushes, toothpaste, her favorite berry red lipstick — the one she wore to church and lunch dates with her friends. He took two twin packs of toothbrushes and two of the bottles of toothpaste. As he closed the cabinet, he said a silent prayer to the universe for his aunt. May she return home safe and live to use up every single tube of lipstick in her cabinet.

“It’s your lucky day,” Poe said, throwing one of the toothbrush packs at Howie on the couch.

Howie startled slightly at Poe’s intrusion but recovered in an instant, giving him a grateful smile. “Thanks,” he said. “Goodnight.”

Poe managed to return a sad smile. “Night.”

When Poe returned to Rose, he found her sitting with her legs crossed in his bed, thumbing through his copy of Frankenstein. He stopped in the doorway, smiling at the sight of her. “Sorry it took so long,” he said.

She looked up from the book and grinned. “Your annotations kept me occupied.”

“Oh god,” he laughed, “I annotated that in high school.”

“And you were very astute.” She read aloud in a stilted voice, “Fire motif references story of Prometheus question mark.”

“Alright, alright…” He exaggerated rolling his eyes. “I hope you weren’t snooping the whole time I was gone.”

“I wasn’t,” she said. “This was just on top of one of those stacks.” She gestured with the open book towards the mess of books on his desk, again making him wish he’d been more careful in keeping his room tidy the last time he visited. He had a lot of reasons to regret the last time he visited, all things considered.

She closed the book and set it gently on his bedside table. “Did you find a toothbrush?”

They tiptoed to the bathroom, though Tess probably wouldn’t wake regardless. Poe held the door open for Rose and followed her in, switching on the light before closing the door.

Brushing their teeth together felt strangely intimate to Poe. It also felt a little like playing house. He watched her squeeze toothpaste carefully and run her toothbrush under a tiny stream of water before she handed him the toothpaste back.

When he kept studying her instead of taking the bottle, she made a little sound and raised her eyebrows at him in question, the toothbrush already in her mouth and preventing her from speaking.

“Sorry,” he laughed, shaking his head. “Thinking again.” He ran the sink again and loaded his own brush.

She watched him in the mirror while he brushed his teeth, her gray eyes narrowed at him. She spat and rinsed her mouth. “Are you going to tell me what you’re thinking about?”

He was thankful for the mouthful of toothpaste giving him a few more moments of easy avoidance. Once he’d given it up and rinsed his mouth, he said, “Let’s go to bed.”

She gave him a look.

“To talk,” he clarified. He reached out and wiped a stray bit of toothpaste from the corner of her mouth with his thumb. “I promise.”

By the time he had undressed to just his stupid ghost boxers (Rose approved, at least) and climbed into bed, holding the covers back for her to join him, he had gathered his thoughts. As hard as it was for him to open up, it was harder for Poe to see Rose frown at him.

“I’m worried I’m going to disappoint you,” he whispered, hearing the words ring truer than he’d intended. “Actually, in general I’m afraid of that. But I really wasn’t upset before.”

“Why would I be disappointed?” She asked, voice equally soft.

“Because you want me to talk and I don’t have that much to say.”

She frowned. “No, in general.”

“Oh.” He scrunched his brows. “I worry that you see me through —“ He smiled at the coincidence of his word choice. “Rose-colored glasses. That the more I let you in, the more you’ll realize that you made a mistake.”

A smile crossed her lips, and Poe was grateful for it even if it confused him. “I… developed feelings for you after I got to know you, Poe.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Is that a nice way of saying that you disliked me at first?”

She grinned a bit wider, her eyes crinkling and her nose scrunching. “I thought you were stuck up and a know-it-all.”

“I am stuck up.” He tried to keep his voice serious but her grin was contagious. “And a know-it-all.”

“You’re…” She blushed, moving a hand to cover her mouth, and spoke through slightly parted fingers, “I like those things about you, now.”

“Oh yeah?” His hand found her waist under the covers and pinched. Insecurity melted away seeing her cheeks turn pink. He teased, “How does that work?”

Both of her hands covered her face now as she giggled. “It’s the confidence, I think? It’s…” She trailed off.

He pressed his hand to her back and pulled her closer. He could feel her breathing on his chest as she tucked her chin down to hide her face. “It’s what?” He asked, leaning lips close to her neck, feeling her shiver beneath his arm.

After a beat, she looked up at him and parted her hands. She squared her jaw and said, “I think your confidence is hot, which makes it all the more insufferable.”

It was his turn to blush, feeling his face warm at her sudden boldness and at the surprise of her words. He was not the type of man to let someone else have the last word, however. “Is it insufferable when I do this?” He pressed a kiss beneath her ear and then opened his mouth, letting his tongue graze her soft skin.

She hummed. “Yes and no.”

Only just moving his mouth away he asked, “Yes?”

“Yes.” She took a steadying breath. “Because no one has ever made me feel that way. Like I’m not in control. Like butterflies in my stomach,” she said. “I thought that was a euphemism before I met you.”

“Oh.” He pulled back and studied her. “Really?” She had accidentally beaten him in his own game and given him pause. That was a last word, a mic drop moment.

Her eyes betrayed no sign that she was lying or flattering him on purpose, just her usual wide, searching gaze. Like she was trying to see all of him, even the parts he kept hidden. He had dated other people before, really liked some people before, and he’d assumed the same of her. She seemed so full of love for everyone, it felt incongruous to him that she might not fall for people easily.

“I’m serious,” she said, finally. “Also, don’t change the subject.”

“Change the subject?” He thought he’d gotten away with it.

“Please tell me what you were thinking earlier.”

“You’re going to think I’m an idiot.”

She shook her head.

“I was frowning because I was trying not to think about you changing clothes.”

Eyes widening with surprise, she giggled again. After a pause, she asked, “Did it… Work?”

He tucked her into his chest and put his chin on her crown so that he could look over her head and not into her eyes. “Kind of. But then I turned around and you were wearing my shirt and…” He was digging himself into a hole.

Rose wiggled herself free from his arms and met his gaze again. Her cheeks were pink but she had a teasing smirk on her lips and a glint in her eyes. She said nothing, waiting for him to continue digging.

“Feels very stereotypical to say but you wearing my clothes…” His hand drifted lower as he spoke, landing on her bare thigh. “The t-shirt did something to me.”

As an answer, she placed a hand on his cheek and pulled him down into a slow kiss. Her lips moved carefully like she was afraid she’d scare him away. He grinned against her lips. Could she really be that clueless?

He squeezed the flesh of her thigh before breaking the kiss. He said, “Rose.”

She blinked, a worried look on her face. “Was that okay?”

“Was it?” Poe chuckled. “You’re kidding, right?”

She blinked again, shook her head. She whispered, “I guess I’m just nervous. I never…” She shook her head again, changed tact. “I’m not used to feeling like I have a reason to be nervous.”

He frowned, furrowed his brows, waited for her to elaborate. He didn’t understand.

“I just…” She sighed and buried her face in his chest. He felt her soft voice on his skin when she said, “I don’t know if you like me or if you’re just humoring me.”

“That’s…” Poe blinked. “That was not what I expected to hear.” He threaded his hands through her hair, fingers getting tangled in her soft curls. “I can’t imagine how I could make it clearer,” he said. “That I do really like you.”

She remained still, not saying anything. He leaned back, making her look at him again. Her stormy eyes were cloudier than usual.

“You know how you didn’t like me at first?” He asked.

She let out a breathy laugh. “Yes?”

“That wasn’t the case for me,” Poe admitted. “I liked you pretty much from the moment we met.”

She flattened her mouth into a thin line. Then, “I don’t believe you.”

“I had perfect attendance in that class because I never wanted to miss hearing you speak,” he said. “I thought you were so smart and funny… I used to tell Douglas about you.”

A surprised look cut through the clouds in her eyes. “Your roommate?”

Poe nodded. “He’d be playing Call of Duty or whatever with headphones on, totally ignoring me, and I’d stand in the living room saying, ‘Rose wore a green dress today and asked me what I thought about the reading.’ or ‘Rose asked for a pen today, do you think she likes me?’ All the time. Because I just needed someone to know how I felt.”

Rose searched his eyes. “Could I get zombie Douglas to verify?”

Poe laughed. “Probably not, he never listened.”

“Convenient,” Rose said, rolling her eyes. “How am I supposed to believe you now?”

“I’m not a liar, Rosie.” Poe surprised himself with the steady, earnest tone of his voice. He sounded as serious as he felt, too serious. Always too serious. He let his hands move back down, grazing her waist before placing his palms flat on the curve of her ass. Pressing her closer, he could feel her heart beating against his bare chest. “I thought you said you trusted me,” he said, a whisper against her lips. He hadn’t forgotten. The intimacy of her trust in him filled him with longing to be the person she trusted most. It made him want to be allowed into her bed to hold her every night. To be trusted was to be known like no one had cared to know him before.

He kissed her, held her, felt dizzy at her cool hands finding the nape of his neck. She kissed him, pressed back with equal intensity to his, allowed herself to have him.

When she finally pulled away, it was not to retreat. Her long hair made a curtain around her face and tickled his chest as she propped herself up on an arm to kiss his neck. Again, he watched her search for his freckles, seeing her find them more easily after having had some practice. He almost made a joke again, but a tiny bite just under his jaw made Poe gasp and forget his snark.

“We should really get some sleep.” She bowed her head and kissed his chest, finding a freckle there too.

“You’re right,” Poe managed.

“Turn off the light?”

Poe swallowed, nodded, reached behind her to press the switch on the bedside lamp. Rose kissed his shoulder as it angled towards her. She pressed a hand to his chest and settled into his arms.

“Is this okay?” She asked. “Can you sleep like this?”

He chuckled and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I think I’ll manage.”

Holding Rose in his arms made him feel secure enough that his need for sleep hit him again. His eyes drifted shut of their own accord.

“Goodnight, Poe.” She placed a feather-light kiss to his collarbone.

He imagined her smiling face in the pitch-black room. Total dark sublime. “Goodnight.”

thank you so much to everyone who has read this and commented, your kind words keep me going i swear!! also the nh discord has Poe brainrot lately and i'm obsessed with it i love him i love him. if you're on my taglist or send me kind words about this story i love u just as much <3

tags: @1loveyou @dreamtydraw @anisanka

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dawnsbreaking · 2 years

Text

we could not return

chapter seven poe route rewrite pairing: poe colestead x cmc rose status: ongoing chapter wc: 4,421

Poe froze for a moment, surprised. Again, Rose caught him off guard with easy sincerity. “Is that right? Well, um.” He cleared his throat, feeling his cheeks warm at the compliment. “What you seek is seeking you.”

“I—” Rose cut herself off with a giggle that she hurried to hide behind her hand. She said, “I know what you’re referencing, but it sounds a bit creepy in this context, no?”

He laughed, face even more flushed now. “You’re right, I just mean…” Poe had never had an easy time being sincere. He leaned into the character others built for him, allowed himself to be too serious and too confident and an annoying stick-in-the-mud. This act kept him from the vulnerability of openness, from exposing the raw flesh just beneath his cold armor. He brought his shoulders back, told her the truth. “I mean that I find you exceedingly attractive.”

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For the first time in his life, Poe Colestead had given up control. He gave Howie, Tess, and Rose full license to decide the safest route. Rose was the tie-breaker once again, deciding to side with Tess and her plan to drive four hours to Boston Central and abandon the van rather than attempt to drive the rest of the way. Poe drove them to the van in his aunt’s truck to the van as soon as they finished breakfast. Aunt Lynn sat between him and Rose in the cabin of the truck, clamping her eyes shut and holding tightly to Rose’s sweetly offered hand. They survived the short trip down Lynn’s driveway, Tess and Howie riding in the truck bed and pushing zombies away with skis as they tried to approach.

The van was, remarkably, intact. The zombies had evidently become disinterested once it had been parked and left without humans inside, and the supposed bear that Howie thought he heard the night before was nowhere in sight. Poe helped his aunt and then Rose into the back of the van while Howie and Tess jumped into the front. He shut the doors behind him and breathed a sigh of relief as Tess turned the engine and stomped on the gas.

“Alright!” He laughed, dizzying relief filling him like helium gas as he slumped into the leather seat at the van’s table across from Rose. “We made it!” He glanced to the side at Aunt Lynn when she didn’t respond. She was buckling into the single car seat in the back on the passenger side, looking a million miles away, trying her best to keep a stiff upper lip. She would need time to grieve her home, but she was safe.

Rose, however, smiled wide with the same relief he felt, reaching for his hand across the table. “I knew we would make it,” she said. With her free hand, she unzipped her jacket and pulled something from inside. “I hope you don’t mind that I took this for you.” She passed him the piece of paper — a photograph of him and his parents.

It was one that had been on display in his Aunt’s living room, Rose must have taken it out of the frame without him noticing. “Ro…” He picked the photo up, taking in his parents' smiling faces. This time, he was too shocked and overwhelmed for tears, but his chest tightened all the same.

“I’m sorry if I overstepped.” She squeezed his hand.

He shook his head. “No, it’s not that.” He was upset with himself that he hadn’t thought to take the picture himself. Or anything, for that matter. His mother’s books, his father’s suits, the few family photos he had… All of this left in a house he may never return to. Another wave of sadness washed over him.

“I thought you might like to have it,” Rose said. “And I had my own selfish reasons, of course.”

Poe grinned, allowing Rose’s teasing to lighten his mood. He loved that he could count on her for distraction when he needed it and careful understanding when he didn’t. Somehow, she knew the difference. “Oh yeah?” He gave a wry chuckle. “And what reasons are those?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Rose pointed to the baby in the picture, a little boy sitting on his father’s shoulders. “You were adorable.”

“How do you know it’s me?”

Rose rolled her eyes, laughing. “The round little cheeks, of course. Look at them!”

“You’re a menace.” Poe did his best to force a frown but was met with limited success. He laid the photo out on the table in front of Rose. “I was pretty cute though.” He sighed. “I wonder what happened.”

“You grew up and got cuter?”

“I—” Rose cut herself off with a giggle that she hurried to hide behind her hand. She said, “I know what you’re referencing, but it sounds a bit creepy in this context, no?”

She smiled, didn’t laugh, took his poor excuse for flirting in stride. “What you seek and all that…” She trailed off. “But, really, this picture is too cute. You look like a cute little marshmallow in that puffy jacket!”

“And here I thought you weren’t going to tease me!” Poe whined.

“I’m not sure what gave you that impression.” Rose’s voice went just a little quieter, hinting at a double meaning that made him flush all over again. “And I’m not teasing.”

“You said I looked like a marshmallow!”

“A cute marshmallow.”

Poe pulled the picture away, snatching it out of her sight with a laugh. “I don’t have to take this, Ro.”

“You just can’t take a compliment,” She spoke in a facetiously huffy tone, fighting a grin.

“Right.” He rolled his eyes.

“And —“ She narrowed her eyes at him, tightening her hand around his and leaning across the table. “Who said you could call me Ro?”

“Hm?” Poe was surprised. He hadn’t even noticed he’d shortened her name until she pointed it out. “I’m sorry, I…”

Shaking her head, she finally let the grin overtake her face. “You’ve done it twice,” she said, falling back against the leather seat. “But I’m just teasing, I don’t mind.”

“You’re what?”

“I’m just teasing.”

He gave her a meaningful look and she deflated, realizing what she’d accidentally admitted.

“Told you,” he said. “You were teasing. It’s almost like you do that a lot.”

“I do it just the right amount,” she argued. “And you like it.” She had him there. “Now, can I please look at the picture again? I promise only a reasonable amount of teasing from now on.”

He sighed. “Fine.” He put the photo back and watched her study it again, looking at his parents, tracing their smiles with her eyes.

“They look like you,” she breathed. “That’s how I could tell.”

She was right, of course. Poe, at age 22, looked more like his parents every day. He had his father’s strong jaw and his mother's soft eyes. The smile his father wore in the picture was uncannily similar to his own.

“I don’t know if I remember this day in particular,” Poe said, “But I remember sledding with my parents at the lodge.” He pointed to the orange, plastic sled propped up against his mother’s knee. “My parents would take turns riding down the hill with me. I’d beg them both to go faster, my mom would indulge occasionally, but my dad never did. He always kept a steady pace, laughing and calling me his ‘little daredevil’.” Poe chuckled. “I bet that sounds like a lie, knowing how I am now.”

Rose gave her head a decisive shake. “I believe it,” she said. “I see the danger streak in that little marshmallow.”

“I like to think that I grew up to be like my father,” Poe admitted. “But he was better than me, much cooler, much smarter too.”

“Smarter?” She feigned disbelief. “Now, cooler I can totally believe…” She reached across the table and took his other hand, holding both hands tight.

Poe laughed despite himself and squeezed her hands back. “It’s strange knowing that I’ll be older than them soon.” He took a shallow breath. “In two years, I’ll be older and wiser than my father ever got to be.”

“I’m really sorry, Poe,” Rose said. She studied him with those wide, searching eyes as if some sign of the right thing to say would be hidden somewhere on his person. She said, “I wish I could have met them.” And then, “I’m sure they would be proud of you.”

“I’d hope so.”

Rose stood, letting go of his hands and moving from the seat across from him into the seat next to him. Wordlessly, she took his hand again before brushing her other hand across his jaw. At first, he assumed she was turning his head to kiss him on the lips but she held his face and pressed a tender kiss to his forehead instead. The gesture was kind, exceedingly gentle, and made him feel seen and cared for in that unusual way he’d only experienced with Rose. But he couldn’t help wanting to kiss her back.

He pulled back and tucked one of her loose curls behind her ear, letting the hand come to rest on the back of her neck. He watched her purse her lips as he drew her closer, softening at his touch and allowing him into her space. Their lips met gently for just a moment. Little more than a peck, out of respect for present company, but the kiss was dizzying all the same.

“Thank you for stealing a precious family photo,” he whispered. Rose’s eyebrows shot up at his words. Clearly, she hadn’t been expecting him to tease her back.

She frowned, drawing her brows back down and narrowing her eyes. “Yeah? See if I steal anything for you ever again.”

“Poe? Rose?” Howie’s voice called from the front seat. “Would either of you like to drive soon?”

Tess had only been driving for about a half-hour, but Howie was very vocal about his disdain for her driving. Howie sounded on edge and Poe reckoned he had been too distracted by Rose to notice any erratic driving Tess might have been subjecting them to.

“Sure,” Poe called back. “Pull over and I’ll drive.” He glanced at Rose. “Take shotgun?” He asked.

She nodded. “Shame I can’t DJ.” They had made up their minds to conserve their phone batteries, so Rose wouldn’t be able to play her music while Poe drove. “That’s, like, the most important part of co-pilot’s job.”

“Your most important job as my co-pilot is to keep me company,” he countered. “Though I do wish we could listen to an audiobook or podcast, that’s the best thing for a road trip.”

“Actually,” Rose said, a coy grin passing over her face. “I might be able to help you there.” She refused to elaborate, but after switching with Tess and Howie, he saw that she had settled into the passenger seat with a book.

“You’re going to read?” He asked, mock offended. “And ignore me? When your only job is to keep me company?”

“No, of course not!” She giggled. “I’m going to be your audiobook.”

“Oh.” Poe was caught off guard. “Really?”

“Yes, really,” she said. “Unless you don’t want me to!”

He shifted the car into gear. “I didn’t say that.”

“Well, the only book I have with me is Dune,” she said. “Sorry.”

He laughed. “Okay.”

“Really?” She sounded genuinely surprised. “Not too late to back out.”

He glanced away from the road at her, then back to the road. “I’d love to hear you pronounce all of the silly, made-up words.”

“Tread lightly, Colestead,” she warned. “I love Dune and all of Herbert’s silly, made-up words.”

Poe held up one of his palms in a defensive gesture. “Of course, treading lightly. Read away, Ro.” The pet name, if one could call it that, felt sweet on his tongue. He planned to use it as often as she’d allow.

“Thank you,” she said, and then she began reading. Judging by the state of her paperback, she had read the book before — possibly multiple times — her knowledge was exemplified in the way she didn’t stumble over any of the silly, made-up words.

As he drove and listened, Poe allowed himself to get lost in the story. He’d attempted to read the behemoth science fiction novel before, so he recognized the opening chapter. However, he’d never been so interested as he was now that Rose Prichard was reading it to him. Her soft voice, once she got into the rhythm of the text, was much like listening to a good audiobook, and the varied commentary she interspersed was enjoyable, too.

“Just tell me when you want me to stop,” Rose said, after finishing the second chapter.

“Are you tired of reading?”

“Not at all.” She laughed. “I’m having the best time right now.”

“The best time?” He questioned.

Rose shrugged. “I’m easy to please.”

She read another chapter, telling him that she had to ‘At least get through the training scene,’ before retiring the book. He thoroughly enjoyed her commentary on the character interactions, he had his very own combination audiobook and podcast in her.

When she finally closed the book, having tired of reading, she asked, “How was that for an audiobook? Five stars?”

Poe laughed. “Four and a half,” he said, “Audiobooks usually have far less commentary.”

She clutched the book to her chest and glared at him, fighting a smile despite his teasing. “You liked it,” she said.

“I did,” he admitted. “Very much.” Hearing her read reminded Poe of the readings and conversations in their former shared poetry class. He felt increasingly at ease in her presence now, though, compared to the nerves she’d elicited then.

Before he could elaborate, a figure limped out of the woods into the road, stopping in front of the van. Startled, Poe slammed the brakes. Despite his best efforts to regain control the van skidded out on snow and swerved around the figure.

“Poe!” Rose shouted, more surprised than upset. Her hand flew to his stomach instinctively, as if to guard him in the event of the van crashing.

“Sorry.” He pressed the gas again, leaving the rambling zombie behind them. “It's been so long since we’ve seen one…” He’d almost forgotten the zombies behind him, allowing himself to be lulled into a false sense of security. Rose reading in the passenger seat had allowed him distraction enough to enjoy the pretense of a normal road trip.

“Are you okay?” Rose asked. She watched him nod an affirmative before turning to the back seat. “Everyone alright?”

Tess called back, “All good. It’s not following us.”

Rose slumped back into her seat but allowed her hand to fall protectively to Poe’s thigh. “I hate thinking that they used to be someone. That’s the worst part.”

He didn’t speak, but he knew what she meant. Every time he saw one of them — he hated to use the word zombie even in his mind, hated to mythologize this disaster — he could not help but imagine his own loved ones in their place. The night his aunt had been missing, it was all he could do not to imagine her stumbling through the snow, blood in her teeth, flesh sloughing off of her bones… He shook himself. Having seen so many of the undead by now, it was becoming far too easy to place new faces on the bloodied bodies. Howie, Tess, and even Rose had been turned into monsters by his wayward imagination. He had to make sure that none of those conjurings became reality. He had to.

Rose rubbed soothing circles on his thigh, though she had turned away to watch the side of the road. Poe had to fight to enjoy the casual intimacy rather than worry at the prospect of seeing more of the undead. “You’ve got that look,” she finally said, keeping her eyes still trained on the passing trees. “What are you thinking?”

“What look?” A deep frown, he knew. Furrowed brows.

“You’re upset,” she said, “Which is fair.”

His deep frown deepened still. “Then why are you worried about it?” He hated the sound of his own voice as soon as he heard it but he couldn’t stand pity, even from her.

Her thumb on his thigh stilled. A beat. She took her hand away altogether. “I’m sorry,” she said.

Poe took a steadying breath, reached for her hand. “No,” he said. “I didn’t mean…” What did he mean? He had gotten her to stop asking questions, wasn’t that what he wanted? But her silence came with a frown, which was never what he wanted. They had been over this just the night before, Poe had opened up and admitted his silly thought about her changing. But, it seemed, he was still reserved when it came to sharing feelings that actually mattered. “I’m sorry,” he said, finally. He had to try. For her.

“You don’t have to say anything,” she said, letting him take her hand back to rest on his leg.

He shook his head. “No, I just need time to process what I’m thinking before I externalize it, I think.”

She gave him a gentle smile. “Understandable, I’m sorry if I’m pushy about talking about your feelings.”

He laughed. “You can be a little pushy.”

“Hey!” She giggled. “You’re not supposed to agree when I say something negative about myself.”

“It’s a good thing! I need someone to be pushy. I’m stubborn.”

“We’re both stubborn,” she corrected, voice softening. She resumed her soothing circles, this time on the back of his hand. “I’m sorry for being more stubborn.”

“It’s good for me,” he said. And he meant it.

Rose changed the subject, returning to idle chat. Eventually, the two of them fell into companionable silence. After a laughably short time not speaking, Rose began dozing in the passenger seat, using her hand as a pillow against the window. Poe, having seen her fall asleep a handful of times now, envied her ability to sleep so easily. She slept for the rest of the ride — almost two hours, only stirring once to smile when his hand found her thigh for comfort. He tapped her leg to wake her when they neared a checkpoint that had been set up on the road just outside of Boston. Poe teased her. “You had one job,” he said. “Awful co-piloting today.”

She scrunched her face, still half asleep. She mumbled, “I read to you for, like, an hour.”

He squeezed her thigh. “I know, I’m teasing.”

She hummed, rubbing sleep from her eyes. “Where are we?”

“There’s signs, a checkpoint up this road. I think Boston is going to be a safe zone.”

“That’s great!”

“It means Tess was right,” he said. “Good work team.”

Tess, at the sound of her name, called, “We’re a team now? Promise?”

“I’m considering that I might not hate you!” Poe called back. “That’s all you get.”

“I can live with that!”

They passed through the checkpoint with relative ease, clearly harboring no undead passengers, and were able to park the van and gather their belongings within walking distance of Boston Central.

“Good riddance,” Howie said, dramatically saluting the old van.

Tess and Rose laughed and did the same as they exited the vehicle.

“Thanks for the memories,” Tess said, slapping the van’s side.

Poe watched Rose tuck her book back into her backpack, lingering in the shadow of the open passenger side door. “Everything okay?” He asked.

She nodded. “I’m trying not to get my hopes up.”

“About the safe zone?”

Her eyes flickered to him and then back to her bag. “About anything.”

He gave her a confused look. “Do you want to talk about what you mean by that?”

“No.”

“Hypocrite.”

She sighed. “Okay, maybe.” She shouldered her backpack and took his hand. “I already told you how I feel about relationships in general? Like they always feel too good to be true?”

He nodded.

“Well, all of my anxiety from—“ She waved a hand around for lack of words. “Well, everything, has made me even more worried that things are going to go badly. And — not that you have to tell me everything that you’re thinking all the time — but more worries come back every time you go quiet on me.”

“I promise I’m not upset because of you, Ro,” he said.

She gave him a weak smile. “I appreciate that.”

He called to Tess, Howie, and his aunt, “Rose and I are going to take a walk before we go. Stretch our legs.” He turned to her. “Come on, I need a minute.”

Rose followed him away from the sea of abandoned cars into a little clearing by the side of the lot. They walked until they were alone, steps leaving footprints in the fresh snow that would lead them back to the van.

“There’s a story I read growing up, called ‘The Striding Place,’” Poe began. He did this often, used literature to understand and compartmentalize his more complex feelings. “It’s about a young man who goes out for a walk one evening and comes across a body in a lake…”

Rose squeezed his hand, taking notice of the way the words caught in his throat.

“The man is concerned, so he fishes into the lake and drags the body to shore…” Poe was getting choked up but he fought tears, continued, “But when he gets close enough, he realizes that the body has no face.”

“That’s terrifying,” Rose offered after a beat.

“The worst part is, I can’t remember who wrote it.” He closed his eyes, keeping tears from falling. “Just now, driving, I kept seeing a faceless corpse in the road… Waiting for me.”

Rose stopped and stepped in front of him and placed a hand on his chest to stop him too. “Poe..” She said.

“I keep imagining my aunt or our friends as zombies in the road. I wonder which one of you is next. I wonder how many people I know are already gone. That body is staring at me, waiting for a new face.”

After a pause, Rose said, “I know what you mean.” She took a shuddering breath, he saw tears welling in her eyes. “We haven’t had cell service, so I have no idea if my parents are okay, my twin brother…”

Poe felt a twinge of guilt, this whole time he had failed to ask her about her family or friends, he’d let her shoulder that anxiety alone while he opened up more than ever before. “I’m so sorry,” he said. “Where are they?”

“My parents live in Texas,” she said. “And my brother is in LA.” She shook her head, blinking away tears. “They’re all probably fine.”

Right, he’d known about the brother. Part of the reason she was moving… “I’m sorry I didn’t ask you how you were doing,” he frowned. “I feel like an ass.”

“No.” Rose moved her hand across his chest and beneath his jacket, settling it on the small of his back. “There’s been a lot going on.”

“Come here,” he said. He opened his jacket and pulled her close, allowing her to wrap her arms around him beneath his coat. His lips found the top of her head and he stood there, breathing in the scent of her hair.

“You wanna know a secret?” She asked against his chest.

He hummed. “Of course.”

“I don’t like talking about my feelings either,” she said. “Making other people talk is a great way to avoid it.”

“Really?” He laughed. “That’s kind of an amazing strategy.”

“You should try it.” She squeezed him, nuzzling his chest. “Not with me, though, I’ll see through your trickery.”

“Good to know.” He kissed her forehead again, pulling her tighter and letting his lips linger. When he pulled back he said, “I wish I could remember who wrote that story. I’m worried I made it up.” His voice was shaky again, he felt a tear on his cheek, despite his efforts to keep from crying. He admitted, “I don’t handle this kind of thing well.”

She kept holding him tight. “You’ll remember. Everything is going to be okay… Plus—“ She pulled back and tilted her head up to meet his eyes, flashing a conspiratorial grin. “I’ll keep you safe, baby.”

Poe chuckled despite himself, feeling lighter already. The sweetness of Rose calling him ‘baby’ was not lost on him. Overwhelmed with adoration for her, he pushed her jacket off one shoulder and pressed his face into her neck, peppering quick kisses against the soft skin above her shirt collar. He kissed his way up to her jaw and then her face, stopping just short of her mouth. Pulling back, he looked into her eyes then to her smile. “I’ll protect you too, of course.”

“Of course,” she breathed. Then, “Will you kiss me?”

He laughed, meeting her earnest request with undeserved teasing. “I did kiss you.”

She frowned. “You know what I mean.”

“You called me ‘baby’,” he accused.

“I did.”

He kissed her, gathering her into his arms to pull her impossibly close. He felt her lips, cold and chapped from the winter weather, fight a smile as she kissed him back. To his gratification, her kisses were less tentative now, she allowed herself to kiss him with fervor equal to his. She gripped his shirt underneath his jacket and pressed against him, slipping her tongue past his lips as he parted them with a low groan.

They stayed like that, embracing in the cold winter air, for as much time as they could reasonably afford. When they finally pulled apart, Rose giggled, suddenly shy, and busied herself smoothing Poe’s jacket back against his shoulders. He combed her hair back into place, though he was certain that it wouldn’t be hard for his friends and aunt to guess what he and Rose had been up to alone in the woods.

“We should get back before they leave us behind,” she said. “Knowing Tess, she’s probably been trying to convince them to already.”

Poe laughed. “You’re right.”

She threaded her fingers through his. “Feel better now?”

“Funny.”

“I’m serious.”

He considered it. Fear had been a constant companion to him in the last few days, but he did feel brighter knowing that a new leg of their journey was beginning. And Boston had proved safe so far — he’d made out with Rose in the woods with no trouble. “I think so,” he said, finally. “Smiles from the threshold of the year to come. Whispering, ‘it will be happier,’” he said. Hemingway, but he meant it.

jesus WEPT these get longer every chapter. had lots of ground to cover! leaked two premium scenes. at this point my fixing is less detail oriented and is more focused on big changes, you'll notice i didn't kill anyone and i don't intend to!! howie girls you're welcome. my baby boy deserves minimal angst!! thank you to everyone on my tag list and who has commented/reblogged/messaged me about this story, i absolutely thrive on any and all feedback. thank you all for the support <3

also, yes i did make poe and rose read dune i am my own biggest fan and that was fanservice.

tags: @1loveyou @dreamtydraw @justtayx @alinakamura

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dawnsbreaking · 2 years

Text

to disappear or die

chapter six poe route rewrite pairing: poe colestead x cmc rose status: ongoing chapter wc: 3,140

And now they were cornered, stuck in his — probably dead — aunt’s cabin, unsure where to turn. And now his friends wanted to leave him, just like… “I was standing right downstairs when my parents left,” he admitted. “It feels like just yesterday and somehow an eternity ago all at once.” He squared his jaw, hardening his face against the threatening tears that made his cheeks ache. Anger and fear compounded over the last few days brought him so much closer to crying than he usually was. He felt like that crying child he’d once been, begging his parents to stay and tuck him into bed. “We have to stick together,” he managed.

we did it. sweet, sweet canon divergence >:)

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When Poe awoke, having slept much more soundly than he imagined possible during a zombie apocalypse, he found Rose’s side of the bed empty and cold. He had no idea how long he’d been asleep, having taken off his watch the night before. He jumped out of bed, seeing that the sun outside his window was already well into the sky.

“Rose?” He called, throwing his bedroom door open. It was hard not to assume the worst.

He heard Rose’s voice call back, “I’m in here,” from the guest room. Thank god. Poe retreated back into his room and tossed on a t-shirt and his jeans before finding Rose — perched on the edge of the bed in the guest bedroom, chatting with Tess. She was still wearing nothing but Poe’s t-shirt, a fact that filled his ego to burst.

“Morning.” Rose smiled, shifting her weight to face him. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Poe shook his head. “You were just gone when I woke up.” He looked between her and Tess. “Everything okay?”

Something almost imperceptible passed across Rose’s face, telling him that something was wrong. He frowned, waited for her to explain, but she forced a smile to return and said, “Yeah, fine.”

Poe raised his eyebrows to let her know that he wouldn’t be falling for her act and would expect an explanation.

Tess sat up in bed and drawled, “Good moooorning, Poe.”

“Good morning.” Poe’s frown deepened. “Sleep well?”

“Like a baby. You?” Tess paused and laughed. “Actually, I don’t want to know how you two slept.”

Rose slapped Tess’s leg, narrowing her eyes at her. “We got plenty of sleep,” she said, though an easy blush spread across her cheeks.

As much as he enjoyed his friends knowing that he and Rose were… whatever they were, he needed to get Rose to tell him what was wrong. He said, “Do you want to help me with breakfast, Rose?”

Rose glanced at Tess, seeming to ask for permission, and Tess shrugged. Rose said, “Sure thing.” As she joined Poe in the hallway, she threaded her fingers through his and gave him another smile.

He didn’t fall for it. “What’s wrong?”

She shook her head and pulled him back to his room, shutting the door before speaking, finally. “Tess wants to leave, she thinks that you want to stay camped out here and that we’re going to have to split up.” Rose is out of breath by the time she finishes this sentence. She catches her breath and allows her face to sink into a grave frown.

“We shouldn’t split up,” Poe said.

“That’s what I told her.”

“But we shouldn’t just leave either, we need to be careful about our next move.” He scowled. “It’s not up to Tess what we do next.”

Rose placed a soothing hand on his arm, making him immediately feel guilty for the harsh tone he’d used. He knew that she wanted him to make more of an effort to get along with Tess but, if it weren’t for Rose, he wouldn’t even try to be kind to her. He and Tess were so different, he had no idea how Rose managed to bridge the gap between their polar opposite personalities enough to be close to both of them.

“I think she’s just frustrated,” Rose said. “We should all be considerate of one another’s stress levels.” She pulled herself up on tip-toes and kissed his cheek. “Yeah?”

Poe softened at her kiss and nodded. He couldn’t disagree but he resented how easily she made room for others. It reminded him again of how different they were deep down. He wondered if his instinct would always be to retreat, to push away, to cross his arms and dig his heels in. That was what brought them to Vermont in the first place, wasn’t it? And now they were cornered, stuck in his — probably dead — aunt’s cabin, unsure where to turn. And now his friends wanted to leave him, just like… “I was standing right downstairs when my parents left,” he admitted. “It feels like just yesterday and somehow an eternity ago all at once.” He squared his jaw, hardening his face against the threatening tears that made his cheeks ache. Anger and fear compounded over the last few days brought him so much closer to crying than he usually was. He felt like that crying child he’d once been, begging his parents to stay and tuck him into bed. “We have to stick together,” he managed.

“Guys!” Howie called. Poe opened his bedroom door to see him bounding up the stairs at full speed, taking the steps two at a time. He stopped just short of barreling into the wall. “There’s someone,” he panted. “Something outside.”

Rose took Poe’s hand again and squeezed. “Someone?” She asked. “Or something?”

“I don’t know.” Howie turned his back to Rose and grasped at her forearm behind him, closing her in between himself and Poe. “But I heard something at the door. You and Tess should try to go out the back.”

“What about Tess?” Tess appeared in the hallway, dressed in her old clothes and Aunt Lynn’s jacket. “You’ve got to stop acting machismo like I’m not the second strongest person here.”

“Seconded.” Poe gave a nervous laugh. “I’m no match for the Texan.”

“Okay, well.” Howie pouted. “We have, like, no time now. What’s the plan?”

“I don’t know, arm ourselves with heavy books from Poe’s room?” Tess ducked her head into the bathroom, looking for anything that could be used for self-defense.

Poe was about to fire back when a voice — blessedly familiar — cut through the panicked bickering.

“Hello?” Aunt Lynn called, “Is there someone up there?”

Poe dropped Rose’s hand and pushed past Howie, practically sliding down the banister to tackle his aunt into a hug. “Oh my god,” he sobbed into her yellow headscarf, smelling the familiar mix of sweet, tropical-scented hair products she always put in her hair before bed. “Oh my god, you’re okay.”

“Poe, baby…” She hugged him back, just as hard. Her voice comes out muffled, her face buried in his chest. “How long have you been here?”

He finally pulled back, holding his aunt by the shoulders and checking her over. Aside from a little dirt on her pajamas and a tiny bloodstain on her headscarf, she looked no worse for wear. “I tried to call you…” Tears threatened to fall to his cheeks. “We got here last night, I was sure you were —“

She cut him off. “I’m alright, baby… Who is we?”

In his haste to get to Aunt Lynn, he’d hardly considered introducing her to his friends. He turned and saw them, awkwardly descending the stairs. First Rose, having thrown on her jeans at some point during the commotion, then Howie and Tess.

“Um, guys?” He took a step back, letting go of his aunt entirely and awkwardly tucking a hand into his pocket. “This is my Aunt Lynn.”

Lynn gave a little wave, though her mouth twisted into a confused frown. He recognized himself in her furrowed brows and pouted lips.

“Aunt Lynn.” He took Rose’s hand as she joined him at the bottom of the stairs. “These are my friends, Rose.” He held up her hand in his own. “Howie, and Tess.” He indicated each of them with a nod.

Rose spoke first, offering her free hand to Lynn with a smile. “It’s nice to meet you, ma’am, I’m really happy you made it home safe.”

Aunt Lynn’s face softened as she shook Rose’s offered hand. Poe recognized himself in her softness, too. “It’s nice to meet you, dear.” She gave Poe a quick sideways glance — certainly wanting to know more about Rose — before greeting Howie and Tess. “I wish we were meeting under more pleasant circumstances. But I’m glad you were safe here last night.”

“Thank you,” Rose said, a nervous edge to her voice that Poe was surprised to hear from her. “For letting us stay here.”

Aunt Lynn laughed. “You’re welcome, dear. Now, where are my manners! Have you kids eaten breakfast yet?”

The four of them exchanged a look before Poe said, “No, Rose and I were about to…”

“How about you two help me whip something up, then?”

Rose smiled, glancing at Poe and back to his aunt. “I’d love that.”

After Aunt Lynn quickly washed her face and changed clothes, Poe and Rose followed her into the kitchen. Howie and Tess settled themselves onto the living room floor with a decorative map of the United States that Howie had pulled off of Poe’s bedroom wall. They began tracing out possible routes, theorizing where zombies must have been and will be. Poe was happy to leave them to it, even if it meant a possibly awkward conversation with his aunt and the girl he’d shared a bed with in her home.

Thankfully, Rose delayed the subject by asking Aunt Lynn where she’d been overnight, allowing Lynn to regale them with the story of how she’d lost her dog and slept under a table in a ski rental shop just up the hill.

“I hated to think that those things got Bozo…” She turned to Rose and explained in an aside, “My dog.” She resumed picking through the fridge, speaking with her back to the both of them. “But at some point, I had to give up the ghost and get to safety…”

Poe scrunched his brows at his aunt’s back. “You wandered around looking for Bozo all day?”

Lynn remained silent, allowing the room to be filled only with the sound of her sharp acrylic nails tapping against bottles of condiments as she searched and rearranged her fridge.

“Aunt Lynn you could have been hurt,” Poe grated. “Looking for your poodle.” He was all too aware of the mocking tone he used, immediately regretting it.

“He was important to me, Poe,” Lynn shot back. “And by the time I realized how serious things were… I was all the way up the hill in the dark.”

Poe’s eyes drifted to Rose, standing on one side of the kitchen island with her arms crossed and wide eyes downcast. She was staring at the floor like she was coming up with a way to escape the conversation. The sight of her doubled the guilt he felt for snapping at his aunt.

“I’m sorry,” Poe said. “I just… When you didn’t answer your phone, I thought the worst.”

Lynn turned and gently set a carton of eggs and a bag of shredded cheese on the counter. Her deep brown eyes were glossy with tears. “I’m sorry for making you worry, baby,” she said. “I know we’re all we have.”

Rose’s shoulders relaxed and her crossed arms loosened. She lifted her chin and offered Poe a sad smile when their eyes met.

“I’m just really glad you’re alright,” Poe said. “We don’t have to talk about it anymore.”

“Should I turn on the stove?” Rose piped, seeming to remind Lynn that she was in the room at all.

“That would be great.” Lynn gave Poe another look.

Fine. “Aunt Lynn, Rose is the girl from my poetry class that I told you about last time I visited. Rose Prichard.”

Rose raised an eyebrow at him. “Told her about?” She asked.

Aunt Lynn lit up, grinning like a madwoman between Poe and Rose with just that much clarification. “That girl from your poetry class?” She asked, voice dripping with meaning, making Poe wish he could duck under the counter and hide from both women. “Oh my god!” She rounded on Rose, taking her by the shoulders. “I’m so glad to finally meet you!”

“Poe didn’t tell me I had such a reputation in the Colestead house,” Rose joked. As embarrassed as he was, he was happy to have her lighthearted teasing back. “But I am Rose Prichard, if she's the girl he told you about.”

“Oh, you are!” She held Rose’s arms and studied her. “You’re just as cute as I imagined, I didn’t want to say anything before but I really hoped it was you!”

“I’m flattered.” Rose smiled, sparing a quick look at Poe. “What all did he tell you about me?”

Poe’s mind reeled trying to remember everything he’d said about Rose the last time he spoke to his aunt. He’d led with how smart she was, but of course, Lynn led with ‘cute’… In an attempt to hold onto some shred of his pride, he said, “I told her that you were smart and always had interesting things to say in class.”

His pride be damned, Lynn teased, “And that you had a pretty smiiiile.”

A shy grin took over Rose’s face, Lynn’s hands on her arms preventing her from hiding behind her hands like she normally would.

“There it is!” Lynn laughed, “Hah! You really are a cutie.” She released Rose’s arms.

“Thank you,” Rose giggled, patting her pink cheeks with her hands now that she was free. “I’m glad I live up to expectations.” She pivoted, avoiding Poe’s eyes, and turned the knob to light the stove. She took the skillet that Lynn offered her and set it on the cooktop.

At risk of getting ahead of himself, Poe thought that Rose looked like a vision of the future as she cracked eggs into the pan. He watched her crack the half carton of eggs and scramble them, settling into easy silence as his aunt toasted bread.

“Shame I don’t have any bacon,” Lynn said, breaking the quiet.

Rose shook her head, grinning. She said, softly, “I wouldn’t be able to eat it anyway.”

He tried to remember if ‘Rose is Jewish’ was one of the things he’d brought up to Lynn in his — apparently thorough — description of her.

“That’s right,” Lynn said, “You don’t eat pork.”

Poe’s face burned. So he had been incredibly thorough in his description of her. He failed to avoid Rose’s eyes as she threw him a sideways glance.

“Really, just how much did you talk about me?” Rose asked, smiling wildly.

Lynn joined in the teasing easily. “Oh not that much…” She tapped her chin with her fingernail, pretending to think back. “I just know your mother’s maiden name, your social security number, and which hospital you were born at.”

Rose cracked up along with Aunt Lynn, a scrunched-up-nose and head-thrown-back laugh. Poe was happy to see her happy, even if the laughter was partially at his expense.

He groaned, feigning more annoyance than he truly felt. “Very funny…”

Aunt Lynn laid a hand on his shoulder and squeezed, he felt her acrylic nails pinch and remembered how she’d scratch his back to soothe him after nightmares. It was so overwhelming, having almost lost his aunt — his only family — that he wished absently that he were young again. That he could wake from the nightmare of the last few days and crawl into the safety of her bed.

“You know I’m just teasing you,” Lynn said. Her eyebrows were drawn together in all-too-familiar concern.

Poe smiled, showing her that his exasperation had been a facade. He laughed, “I think I deserve it.” He placed a hand over Lynn’s shoulder so that she would stay in place, he was overcome with affection and full of regret at how much he’d taken her for granted. He needed to make sure that she was going to leave the lodge for safety. He couldn’t let her out of his sight again until all of this was over.

Rose looked between Poe and Aunt Lynn, giving him a knowing smile. “I’m going to tell Tess and Howie that this is almost done,” she said. She left the kitchen, allowing Poe a moment alone with his aunt.

“She really seems like a sweet girl,” Lynn said, barely waiting for Rose to be out of earshot. “I can tell she cares about you.”

Poe frowned. There were more important matters to attend to. “Aunt Lynn…” He took her hand in his and turned to face her. “We need to leave the lodge. You’re going to come with us, right?”

Aunt Lynn’s frown perfectly mirrored his own. He recognized the familial tendency to dig one's heels into the ground when things got tough. She said nothing for a long moment, then, “I can’t leave.”

Poe felt like a boy again, like he was pleading to see a movie with his friends on a school night, except this matter was life or death. “You have to,” he said. “There’s no way it’s going to be safe here.”

She shook herself free of his hand on hers and turned to the food, scooping scrambled eggs next to the slices of toast on plates she’d set out. Poe watched his own stubborn tendencies, his own penchant for avoidance, play out in her actions. His chest tightened with guilt, suddenly seeing his own past arguments from a third party’s perspective. Was he just as impossible to reason with as his aunt? Heartbreakingly, he wondered whether his father had been stubborn like his sister and his son.

“Baby, I can’t leave,” Lynn said, voice barely above a whisper. Her chin stiffened with threatening tears. She choked out, “I can’t.”

Poe could relate. This lodge had been the only home he’d ever known. There was a reason he had wanted to come here in the first place. The lodge had previously been a safe haven. It was a warm, quiet little home — away from the private schools full of classmates that never understood him — where he could read books by the fire and watch snow fall through the large windows. And his parents had been here with him once, their memory lingered with the dust on the books and the wear on the furniture.

He placed a hand on the kitchen island to steady himself, anchoring his shaking body against the cool marble. He said, “Aunt Lynn, you have to.” In true Colestead fashion, he dug his heels in. “I’m not leaving without you.”

She stiffened, brown eyes wide. “Poe…”

“I’m serious,” he said.

After a silent staring contest, Lynn finally relented. She heaved a sigh, then, “Alright.” She wiped her teary eyes on the backs of her hands. “Alright. Go tell your friends it’s time to eat.”

Poe was overcome with relief, practically floating into the living room towards Rose, Tess, and Howie. “I hope it’s alright I invited my Aunt Lynn along,” he said, knowing that it would be by the smiles on his friends' faces. “We can take her truck down to the van after breakfast.”

They didn’t have a solid plan beyond that. They were cornered — to disappear or die — but the Colesteads had made their choice. Poe and Aunt Lynn would leave the lodge and allow their ghosts to rest.

SWEET, SWEET CANON DIVERGENCE. no fuck nix hydra fr poe is literally my intellectual property at this point. I really hope you all enjoy where I'm going with this, it's obviously not going to be just like Poe's route but hopefully it will be better (imo it already is but I'm a hater) PLEASE let me know what you think if you enjoyed this (or if you don't, i guess) i love you all, especially those of you on my taglist or that leave comments. i thrive off of comments on this fic it's my baby. thank you all so much for the support!! <3

tags: @1loveyou @dreamtydraw @justtayx @anisanka

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dawnsbreaking · 2 years

Text

admirer as i think i am

chapter four poe route rewrite pairing: poe colestead x cmc rose status: ongoing chapter wc: 2,422

“How are you feeling?” She asked. Alone in his bedroom again, Rose seemed to drift closer to him naturally, her hand moved towards his shoulder as soon as he shut the door behind them. Rose’s near-constant physicality was as jarring for him as it was comforting. The hand on the shoulder coupled with the verbal check-ins that came so naturally from her made Poe feel cared for in a way that was almost overwhelming. It made him wonder if he looked like someone who needed such gentle handling. He pushed that thought away with a shake of his shoulders.

read on ao3 series masterlist want to be tagged when the next chapter is released?

“I’m not sure what that sound was,” Howie said. “But we’re okay.”

Thankfully, Poe and Rose found Tess and Howie on the couch, chatting. They both looked like they had just gotten out of the shower, wearing the borrowed pajamas Poe had given them.

“Maybe we should check around the perimeter of the house before we try to sleep?” Poe said, crossing the living room to peer out of one of the large windows. “Howie?”

“We should go together,” Rose said, cutting him off. Her voice took on a sharper tone than any of them were used to from her, evident by the way the air seemed to leave the room. “All of us.”

Howie stood up, squaring his shoulders at Rose. “Just let me and Poe go.”

Rose frowned at him and crossed her arms. Watching this exchange made Poe feel a little out of place. He hated the ridiculous feeling of jealousy that burst through him knowing that Howie wanted to protect Rose as much as Poe did. And wouldn’t Howie be a much better protector? He was stronger and taller and easygoing, perfect in all the little ways that Poe was not.

“Let’s all go,” Tess said finally, the most assertive of the bunch, “we should stick together.”

Rose sighed, “Thank you.” She pushed between Howie and Tess and came to stand at the window next to Poe. “Jackets?” She asked, voice soft once again.

As Poe looked through his aunt’s coat closet he was, for the first time ever, truly thankful for the pretentious friends from school that used to come up to his aunt’s lodge to ski with him — one of them had left behind a nice ski jacket that would fit Howie quite well. For Rose, he found his own navy blue zip-up hoodie that he selfishly wanted to see her wear. Tess would have to wear one of Aunt Lynn’s coats…

“I think this is the best I can do.” Poe passed jackets to Tess and Howie before coming to stand behind Rose. His natural inclination was to hold out the hoodie and help her into it and he basked in the grateful smile she flashed over her shoulder as she put her arms in. His earlier jealousy was forgotten, Howie may be strong and confident but, if anything was clear from their conversation earlier that night, it was that Rose preferred him. Rose liked him. He leaned in close and said, low enough that only she should hear it, “I’d really prefer for you to stay inside.”

She turned her head to meet his eyes, giving him a coy grin. “Not gonna happen.”

“Thought so.” He turned to see Tess and Howie all but gawking at them. He smiled, just a bit cocky, as he raised an eyebrow at them.

Tess giggled, “You two are chummy.”

“Chummy?” Rose asked. “Weird choice of words.”

“Did you two…” Howie blushed.

Wordlessly, Rose took Poe’s hand and threaded her fingers through his. Answer enough. Her hand was surprisingly cold in his, but firm. The ease with which she claimed him in front of their friends was foreign and dizzying.

She held tight to his hand the whole time they were outside, only very reluctantly letting go when they were safely back in the living room. The sound remained unexplained but the cabin was safe, which was all that mattered. Poe was exhausted, and he could tell by drooping eyelids and slurred speech that his friends were as well.

“What is the plan for sleep?” Tess asked, stretching her arms over her head. “Should we all stay in the same room for safety or…”

“I think things are safe enough for us to sleep in beds. I really would like to sleep in beds,” Poe said.

Howie giggled, “I bet you would.”

Poe shot him a glare. “I mean, there’s a guest room upstairs next to my bedroom. We could stay close and still be comfortable. Tess and Rose could sleep in there.”

“I’m not sharing a bed with you, dude,” Howie laughed. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”

Poe caught Rose’s eyes and blushed. The deeply unprecedented situation they were in was not lost on him, nor were Rose’s raised eyebrows. “Or Rose and I could…”

She smiled, and clearly having gotten invitation enough, said “I’ll sleep in Poe’s room.” She paused and clarified, “If that’s okay? And you two can do whatever is most comfortable?”

Poe laughed. If that’s okay? “More than okay,” he said, shaking his head in a poor attempt at hiding his grin.

Tess looked back and forth between them. “Okay, gross.” She shrugged. “But that’s fine by me, we’ll reconvene in the morning.”

“Just make sure we all sleep with one eye open,” Howie yawned, collapsing on the couch. “I’m sticking to the couch. No offense, Tess.”

“None taken, I stretch out like a starfish.”

“Goodnight, Howie,” Rose said. She turned to Poe. “Still have some pajamas for me to borrow?”

His mind raced immediately out of control, overwhelmed with the thought of her wearing one of his t-shirts… He felt dizzy again. He channeled his energy towards maintaining a steady voice. “Of course.”

He told Howie goodnight and led Rose and Tess up the stairs. Once shown to the guest room, Tess could almost immediately be heard snoring from outside her door. She’d barely made it to the bed before knocking out.

Poe, however, was buzzing with newfound energy at the thought of sharing a bed with Rose.

“How are you feeling?” She asked. Alone in his bedroom again, Rose seemed to drift closer to him naturally, her hand moved towards his shoulder as soon as he shut the door behind them. Rose’s near-constant physicality was as jarring for him as it was comforting. The hand on the shoulder coupled with the verbal check-ins that came so naturally from her made Poe feel cared for in a way that was nearly overwhelming. It made him wonder if he looked like someone who needed such gentle handling. He pushed that thought away with a shake of his shoulders.

“Tired,” he said. “it’s been a long day.”

That coy grin snuck back onto Rose’s lips, and a tiny glint appeared in her eye that made Poe want to kiss the grin off of her. “Not all bad though, right?”

By way of an answer, he pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of her mouth. He agreed, “Not all bad.” He said, “We should get some sleep.” And reveled in the look of disappointment she gave him.

“You promised pajamas.”

“Right.” He hadn’t forgotten. Far from it. “Come here.” He pulled her by the hand to his closet, still full of his old clothes; private school uniforms from high school, club t-shirts, his father’s slacks and button-downs that he never wore but couldn’t bring himself to get rid of. He pulled one of his old t-shirts — a band shirt from his record collecting and NPR listening phase of college — off of the hanger and held it out to her. “This one is soft.” He scrunched his eyebrows, looking back at the closet. “I think I gave my only two pairs of sweats to Howie and Tess. Do you want…” He trailed off. For all his talent with words, he did not know how to ask this pretty girl if she wanted to wear his boxers.

She giggled, “I can just wear this.” Seeing his eyes widen just slightly, she amended, “If that’s okay?”

More than okay, better than okay. He said, “If you’re sure.”

“Turn around?” She asked.

“Oh, um—“ His face warmed. It’s not that Poe had never been affected by a girl in this way before, but it was just so much more intense with her. It was late and he was sleepy and dizzy from the wine they’d shared. Just being near her was overwhelming. “I can step outside.”

She shrugged. “If that would make you more comfortable that’s fine. But I trust you, just turn around.”

He turned and stared holes into the wall as she undressed. He could hear her clothes falling to the floor and he tried desperately not to think about her clothes falling to the floor. He crossed his arms, frowning. It was a lost cause.

“All done,” she said. She put a hand on his shoulder and leaned close. “You can turn around.”

When he stayed frozen in place, she chuckled and ducked around him, invading his personal space with ease. She looked up at him with worried wide eyes when she saw his frown.

Poe’s chest flooded with guilt and he straightened his face, but it was too late.

“What’s wrong?”

He could tell the truth, tell her: ‘I was frowning because I’m frustrated with how hard it was not to picture you naked.’ But that couldn’t possibly go over well. He shook his head and uncrossed his arms. Said, “Nothing’s wrong.”

She laughed, a hint of nervousness in her voice that he hates having put there. “You looked really mad at the wall.”

“I was just thinking,” he said, unsure whether he would elaborate. “I’m not mad. Especially not at you.” He clarified when Rose knitted her brows at him.

Without a word, she took his hand in both of hers, looked down, looked back up at him. He felt her gaze, warm on his skin, and let his eyes fall away from her face and to their hands.

She pulled him closer by the hand and stood tall, leaning up into him, smiling like she had a secret. For a moment, he thought she was going to kiss him but she stopped just short, their noses almost touching. She whispered, “Can I borrow a toothbrush?”

He chuckled despite himself, surprised, but caught her lips in a kiss before she had the chance to move away. Feeling her smile into the kiss, he shook his hand free from her grasp. He moved the hand to her waist, holding her so tightly that he felt the shirt he’d given her wrinkle and lift drastically beneath his hand. He dizzied at the thought of what she must look like now, his shirt no longer covering her ass, his hand on her back, her hands reaching to hold his face. She was not his, he reminded himself, but the sight of her in his clothes made him yearn for much more than she could ever give him.

She cupped his cheek gently, her touch was caring and sweet. Like her, it was reserved and more patient than he deserved. In stark contrast, his touch felt terribly demanding and impatient. He forced himself to relax, to soften the hand on her waist, to pull back and search her eyes for regret.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” She asked. “You seem tense.”

“I’m always tense.” He’d always been too good at dodging a question, but she deserved better. He sighed, admitted, “I don’t know how to tell you what I’m thinking.”

A blessed smirk graced her lips again. “Usually, you do that with words, but sentences would be good too.” She quickly kissed his frown. “Want me to leave you alone?”

Never. “No, let me get that toothbrush.”

“And then we can talk, yeah?”

He thought he’d done enough talking for a lifetime in just this one evening. But he had to learn to open up if he wanted to pursue Rose. As jarring as it was, he was quickly learning that she wasn’t like the few girlfriends — and one boyfriend — he’d had in college. His past partners that liked him as long as he kept quiet and loyal and took them skiing during spring break. He said, “Sure.” He kissed her forehead and left her in his room, shutting the door quietly behind him. If there were a spare toothbrush, it would be in his Aunt Lynn’s bathroom downstairs.

He called into the living room, “It’s just me,” when he heard Howie stirring at the sound of his footsteps.

Howie laughed, “Get kicked out?”

“No, just getting Rose a toothbrush from my Aunt’s room.”

“Do I have to kiss you to get good service around here? Because I asked for a toothbrush and you didn’t give me one.”

Poe rolled his eyes. “I’ll look for another, but Rose gets priority if there’s only one.”

“Can’t you just share yours with her?” Howie teased.

“I’ll keep you posted.” Poe shook his head, feigning annoyance even though he felt proud at Howie acknowledging his relationship with Rose — whatever it was. “Could do with less teasing though.”

“I don’t know, man.” Howie lowered his voice to a whisper. “She really likes you. I think it’s sweet.”

Poe flushed, reeling with the amount of certainty Howie had. Certainty that seemed to suggest that Rose and Howie had had a conversation about her feelings. “I really like her too,” he said, finally.

“She’s a nice girl,” Howie said. “Don’t fuck it up.”

He wasn’t planning on it.

Howie continued, “I’ll have to beat your ass if you do.”

It was a strange feeling, knowing that Rose had feelings for him that were big enough to be shared with their friends. Poe did not fancy himself the type of boy to be gushed about. People who had shown interest in him in the past were usually not very enthusiastic about him as a whole. They usually liked the idea of him but lost interest after he opened his mouth and they realized what a pretentious jerk he could be. But maybe he was a better man now. He was trying, Rose made him want to be a better man. “You don’t have to threaten me, Howie.” He laughed despite himself. “I promise.”

Howie shook his head, face gravely serious. “She doesn’t seem like the type of person to fall for someone easily, I hope you’re serious.”

Poe had seen the way Howie looked at her, had seen him flirt with her when they first met. He wondered if Rose had talked about her feelings for him when Howie had asked her to help him chop wood for the fire. It certainly helped his ego to imagine that when Howie had taken his shirt off and flexed at the firewood, Rose had been telling him how much he liked Poe. His mind reeled, knowing that she had chosen him over someone as gorgeous as Howie.

Admirer as he thought he was, Poe reveled in the appreciation that Rose liked him and wanted to choose him just the same.

hello, it's been a minute! this chapter is a bit longer than the first four (and chapters to follow likely will be as well, heads up) so it took a bit longer to get right. i'm diverging from canon quite a bit at this point because i have strong feelings about parts of poe's route, but i hope you all continue to enjoy it!! this chapter fixes i think a time issue but also rectifies the fucking PREMIUM scene where you talk to Howie (or Tess) instead of Poe and barely talk about Poe at all. IN POE'S ROUTE like?? I love Tess and Howie but I find it weird that fictif included so many scenes with them in Poe's route.

I hope you enjoy this chapter because I did enjoy writing it 💗 thank you to everyone who comments and reblogs with tags/commentary, RK has a tiny fandom so interaction on these fics can be sparse, comments (even small ones) are incredibly welcome and super encouraging!! thank you also to my taglist and those who have left comments in my tag form about this fic, i love you all 💕

tags: @1loveyou @dreamtydraw @justtayx @anisanka

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dawnsbreaking · 2 years

Text

first date dance - rose interlude i.

chapter eight poe route rewrite pairing: poe colestead x cmc rose status: ongoing chapter wc: 4,354

Rose Prichard was alarmed, to say the least, when she found herself looking to Poe for comfort. In the bustling Boston train station, swarming people in varying states of anxiety and disarray, Rose’s feelings towards Poe were the least of her worries. That was a first.

It was not as though she had never pictured herself in love — rather she had never pictured herself loved by someone. Rose had always been a hopeless romantic. Emphasis on hopeless, assuming that every relationship she entered would meet an inevitable, untimely end. But Poe had proved her wrong at every turn by consistently caring for and reassuring her.

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Restaurants and shops outside of the Boston station were shuttered, some of them with doors and windows boarded. Several groups of people in clothes ill-suited for winter weather huddled together for warmth. The human chaos outside of the building had struck Rose just as deeply as their brushes with the undead. Before being allowed to enter the station, they were checked over like ripe peaches by a guard who looked for bites and cuts, signs that one of their party might be turned. They all shed their coats and allowed the search, but others dissented, shouting at the guards and causing trouble. Rose tried her best to remain focused on the goal: get inside the station, get to LA, see her brother again. Get out of danger.

The ease with which Poe sensed Rose’s anxiety and took her hand surprised and further reassured her. He took her coat from her and draped it over his arm before pulling her along through the doors. They were safe and healthy, allowed to pass.

“You alright?” Poe’s voice only vaguely registered over the din of the crowded train station.

Rose straightened, tightening her grip on his hand, and forced herself to respond. “I’m fine.” Inside, she was panicked. To be surrounded by this many people when any one of them could turn at any moment was terrifying. Her anxiety was only compounded by her general discomfort in crowded spaces. She’d never enjoyed places with large crowds, zombie apocalypse notwithstanding.

Poe looked at her with worried eyes, filling her with guilt and frustration at evidently not being able to hide her fear. “You’re not,” he said. They had stopped walking, gathering in a small circle. Now everyone was privy to her apparent panic.

Rose did her best to appear calm, pulling back her shoulders and taking in a deep breath. The deep breaths did their job to improve how she felt but only made her panicked state more obvious.

Aunt Lynn gave her a knowing look, then, “I think there’s a restroom just down there.” She pointed across the walkway. “I’ll be right back?”

“Are you sure? Let me come with you.” Poe moved to follow her, but she stopped him with a held-out hand.

“I can handle it.” She laughed, shaking her head as she walked away.

“What’s the plan?” Tess asked. She had also seemed to register Rose’s anxiety, but her strategy with big emotions was to distract and deflect. A strategy that Rose could appreciate at the moment. “I’ve only got…” She turned out her jean pockets, producing a crumpled bill and a cigarette lighter. “One dollar to my name.”

Poe laughed and snatched the bill from Tess’s hands. “Let’s see if this can buy four tickets to LA.”

“Five tickets,” Howie corrected.

“Tess isn’t coming,” Poe joked.

“But it’s my dollar!” Tess giggled and swooped behind Poe, pulling his wallet out of his back pocket. She opened it up with a dramatic flair, flashing Poe’s small collection of black and silver bank cards. “Never mind,” she said. “You can keep the dollar.”

“Tess!” A twinge of genuine exasperation rose in Poe’s voice. “Come on.”

She made a show of searching through the wallet, opening the middle pocket wide. “Oh my god.” She laughed. “This condom looks like it’s from 1996.” She gave Rose a meaningful look.

“Maybe it’s vintage.” Rose chuckled, Tess’s distraction was working. Watching Poe blush always lifted her spirits. “Very on brand.”

Poe almost whined, “Please give me my wallet back.”

Tess paused, suddenly serious, looking at a photo in the wallet. Rose could just see the edge of the photo, a man’s arm wearing a bright Hawaiian shirt. “Who is this guy with your Aunt Lynn?”

“I’m not really sure,” Poe said, hand still outstretched, expecting his wallet. “It’s an old picture.”

Howie peered at the photo over Tess’s shoulder. “We should ask her.”

Poe shook his head. “You think I haven’t? Please, Tess.” It was clear from his voice that Poe was uncomfortable, but Tess was pushy with boundaries.

Rose reached for the wallet herself. “That’s enough, Tess.” Tess allowed Rose to take the wallet from her easily. Being a generally cheery person, it was all the more jarring when Rose was serious. She used that to her advantage, frowning at Tess as she handed Poe’s wallet back to him.

“I’m sorry,” Tess said, getting Rose’s message. “Can I have my dollar back?”

“Will you be less annoying for the rest of the trip?” Poe asked, handing her the bill.

“Probably not.”

Poe shrugged. “It was worth asking.” As Aunt Lynn returned to the group safe and sound, Poe turned serious once more. “Why don’t I get in line to buy tickets and you all find somewhere to wait?” He looked around at the several long lines of people waiting for tickets, and even more people in the multiple waiting areas near the platforms. “I doubt we’re getting out of here anytime soon.”

The thought of Poe leaving her, even if just for a moment, made Rose’s stomach turn, but when Aunt Lynn beat her at volunteering to go along she stayed silent. It was easy to put on a brave face when it was so clear that Lynn wanted to spend time alone with her nephew. She nodded and released Poe’s hand. “Then Howie, Tess, and I will find somewhere to wait?”

“Sounds good,” Poe said, and Rose wondered if she imagined his voice shaking as he spoke. He pressed a quick kiss to her temple, keeping her from following the thought, and then he was gone, swallowed into a crowd.

The three of them, Howie, Rose, and Tess, pushed into the labyrinthine train station. Tess led the way, weaving between pods of people walking and stalling in the lobby, followed by Rose and then Howie.

They had not moved very far from the front entrance when they came upon a small crowd gathering in front of an abandoned newsstand. Fear shot through Rose, as she immediately thought the worst. “Tess!” She called, seeing her friend push towards the crowd even when she and Howie had paused.

Tess turned back, flashing a big smile. “It’s a girl doing magic tricks!”

Sure enough, in the middle of the crowd, a girl was sitting at a small table shuffling a deck of cards. Tess marched right up to her, pushing through a couple of bystanders to see her up close. Rose and Howie reluctantly followed.

“Your stage security sucks,” Tess said, pressing palms on the card table and leaning toward the woman. “Need a bodyguard?”

Rose looked between Tess and the pretty magician, stifling a laugh as she realized what was going on. Tess was flirting.

The woman — The Amazing Amara, according to the cardboard sign taped to the front of her card table — smiled up at Tess. “I’ll make you a deal,” Amara said. “If you can grab this cup—“ She indicated a styrofoam tip cup full of cash. “—Before I do, you can have everything in it.”

Tess lunged for the cup, taking it easily without a second thought. She gave Amara a cocky grin. “I win.”

“Congratulations.” Amara smirked. “Not much of a prize, though.”

“Oh my god.” Tess turned and showed the inside of the cup to Rose and Howie, it contained only a splash of black coffee where the tips had once been.

Howie beamed, pushing towards the magician’s table. “How did you do that?”

A sinking, uneasy feeling descended over Rose as she watched Howie and Tess praise and question the woman. She’d always found magic tricks uninteresting, and magicians to be annoying. Amara being a pretty young woman hardly changed that. It was not enough of a distraction for her to forget everything and act at ease.

“Looks like your friend doesn’t care for magic,” Amara joked, nodding her head towards Rose.

Tess laughed, dismissing Rose with a wave of her hand. “Ignore Rosie. She’s kind of a space case when her boyfriend isn’t around.”

“I’m sorry?” Rose frowned. “One, he’s not my boyfriend—“

Tess interrupted her, explaining to Amara, “They’re wet blankets, both of them.”

“Both of them?” Amara laughed.

“Rose and…” Tess paused, seeing something behind Rose. She rolled her eyes. “There he is.”

“Hey!” Poe broke from his aunt and jogged towards Rose, catching himself against her shoulder as he rejoined them. “I thought you guys were going to wait close by.” He panted. “I thought I lost you.”

“I’m sorry.” Rose smiled, then hated that Tess was right — she did feel more grounded with Poe holding her. “Any luck with tickets?”

Poe frowned. Oh no. “Bad news: there was only one train that isn’t completely booked.” He raised his eyebrows and gave the group a nervous smile, doing his best to appear confident. “Good news: we’re going to Vegas.”

The train boarded almost right away, so there was little time for the group to argue or change plans. They accepted that they were together, even though a major detour. That, and Tess had a complete attitude shift once she found out that Amara was set to board the same train.

They had arranged for two sleeper cars that could be used in turns as well as individual seats. Once Lynn offered to switch with Amara so that she and Tess could chat on the train, saving Rose from wondering if Poe would prefer to sit with her, everyone shuffled to their seats.

“You’re okay with this, right?” Poe asked. “Going to Vegas?”

She couldn’t find it in herself to feel strongly about it. Of course, she would have preferred to go straight to LA and to her brother but that wasn’t an option. Vegas would be okay because it would have to be okay. “Of course,” she said, and she meant it.

Poe said nothing, only sighed and folded his arms. Why he had suddenly frozen the moment that the two of them finally had uninterrupted time to talk was beyond her.

“Is there something wrong?” Rose prodded, finding his hand and pulling it into her lap, forcing his arms to uncross. She added with a laugh, “besides everything?”

Poe shook his head and smiled, but his movements were stiff. He stared out the window into nothing as the train jerked to life and rumbled along the tracks. “I’m just thinking.”

“About what?”

He shook his head again, more fluid this time, before looking her in the eyes. “Doesn’t matter.”

Oh, how could she convince him that it did? How could she show him that every last thought of his mattered to her?

This had been the problem with Poe the whole time, with every step towards her, with every tiny opening or layer pulled back, there had been a nearly equal retreat to follow. Rose seemed to make quick work of his walls at first, but she watched him build them back up whenever he found the chance. It was as exhausting as it was rewarding.

“Poe,” she said, unsure where to begin.

“I’m fine,” he breathed, squeezing her hand. “Danger is behind us, isn’t it?”

That wasn’t the point, but it was a start. “Do you think so?”

He stretched, dropping her hand and laying his arm over her shoulders, abruptly taking the other possible escape from earnest conversation: false confidence.

“Poe,” she pleaded. “You’re not talking to me.”

She could tell by his pause that he wanted to argue with her, to hide behind semantics and tell her that of course, he’s talking to her. But he didn’t. He knew he owed her better. “I just don’t know how to vocalize all of the things I’m thinking all the time,” he said, finally. She watched him deflate and then sit back up. He looked less confident but not uncomfortable. It was something. “I’m kind of used to being left to my introspection.”

“I can leave you to your introspection if you like,” she said, “but the problem is that I don’t know if I can trust you to come back out.”

He didn’t argue, he knew she had him pegged.

“Tell me one thing,” she said.

“That I was thinking about?”

She nodded. “I know there were several.”

Instead of a reply, he pulled her closer into him. She allowed her head to rest on his chest and feel his careful breathing. It wasn’t the forced confidence of before, it was a show of sincerity. The difference was in the way his hand shook, the way his chest rose and fell with unevenly paced breaths. She knew from experience that he had an easier time speaking his mind when he didn’t have to look her in the eyes, she gave him that.

“I’ll tell you two things,” he said after a moment. “Well, one is a question.”

She stayed quiet, waiting for him to continue. Allowing him to lead once he’d gotten to this point was what worked best before. It felt a bit like holding her hand out with food for a stray cat. She called and waved the treat at first and then waited desperately still, holding her breath when the animal was close.

“I was thinking about what we’re going to do in Vegas, this was a big change of plans.”

“That makes sense.”

“And the second thing: I was thinking about how I’d like to take you on a real date someday.”

The mention of a real date ‘someday’ made Rose’s stomach leap, it meant that he saw a future with her. But how far ahead?

“I thought you said there was a question,” Rose teased, doing her best to remain lighthearted despite the fluttering in her chest.

She felt his chest rise and fall with a complete heavy breath before he said, “Someday could be sooner,” he said, a hint of a smile in his voice. “Like today.”

“Still not a question.”

“You’re going to make me spell it out, aren’t you?” He asked. Rose could hear the pout in his voice and couldn’t resist turning to see his adorable frown.

“Yes, absolutely.” She enjoyed seeing Poe flustered, even if she knew it would only be so long before he recovered and returned the favor. The pair were equally bad at flirting, resulting in a sort of push and pull that left at least one of them flustered at all times.

Poe looked away, avoiding her eyes again. He chuckled at the ridiculousness of his embarrassment. Then he found the leverage. “Roseline Ophelia Prichard, would you please go on an official date with me today?” She wanted him to ask her, he’d do it as dramatically as possible.

“Of course I will.” Rose giggled. “Did you really think I’d turn you down?”

“I’m not sure what I thought.”

“Where goes your brilliant way with words around me?” Rose teased. She’d seen the way he had witty comebacks for Tess and Howie always and she’d read his poems in class, so she knew there was something different to the nervous way he presented himself to her. She had an inkling as to the reasoning but, again, wanted to hear him say it.

He chuckled. “Away. It’s much easier to be poetic when you don’t have to say it to someone’s face.”

She’d got it in one. “I make you nervous?”

“And you’re teasing again. Perfect.” Poe rolled his eyes, a weary smile on his face. “You’re a menace, you know that?”

Rose wanted to lean forward and kissed the scrunch between his eyebrows. He was just so cute when he pouted. “You can take it,” she said.

She was never sure where the confidence came from when she flirted like this. She’d never been able to show affection so confidently before, but it had begun to came more naturally with Poe, the push and pull. Maybe it was the confidence that he liked her, or perhaps the desire to see him blush outweighed her pride. Either way, her forwardness was as much a surprise to her as it was to him.

Poe closed his eyes, groaning like he was hit with a fatal wound. “A menace,” he repeated.

With Poe’s eyes still closed, Rose leaned forward and planted a small kiss on his cheek. His brows shot up with exaggerated surprise, but he kept his eyes closed. After a beat, he puckered his lips at her.

“What are you doing?”

He spoke with his lips still puckered as if he were impersonating a fish. “Hoping I get a kiss.”

Rose gave in to her earlier temptation, kissing the wrinkle between his scrunched brows, and giggling at his resulting frown.

“Not what I meant,” he said. “But I’ll take it.”

Rolling her eyes, Rose smoothed her hand over Poe’s cheek. “Keep your eyes closed,” she said.

“I’m not falling for—”

She cut him off with a kiss to his lips, loving the way he softened in her hands and against her lips. For the brief moments when they were intertwined in physical affection, he was unguarded and trusting of her completely. He felt fragile and trusting, like he’d finally let her in.

“We were together, I forget the rest,” he said, voice breathy as he pulled away. He added, “Walt Whitman, in case you were wondering.”

Rose chuckled. “I wasn’t. I was hoping for words from Poe Colestead.”

He hummed. “How about these: let’s go on a date.”

“Better. Sweetest words I’ve ever heard.”

The dining car was surprisingly peaceful. Despite the bright fluorescent lighting on the train, the ambiance was not terrible for such a last-minute date location. A server directed them to an intimate little dining table in the back of the car and they ordered from the sparse menu a bottle of wine and two questionable entrées.

“Alright, Ro, if this is a first date, we need to do that First Date Dance.”

Rose let out an incredulous laugh despite herself. “The what?”

“The First Date Dance!” Poe said, like his meaning was obvious. “Where I ask you a bunch of boring, tedious questions about your life and your interests, then you decide whether or not you like me.”

“I already know I like you,” Rose countered.

Poe blushed but continued prattling on. “But I don’t know your favorite color or your parents' names or what clubs you were in during high school. We haven’t been on a first date yet. No First Date Dance yet.”

“You’ve got this down to a science,” she said, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Must go on a lot of first dates.” She leaned forward with a false air of conspiracy. “Should I be jealous, Poe?”

“I don’t go on many second dates, I’ll tell you that.”

“Could it be the First Date Dance that scares them off?”

Poe huffed, “Could be.”

“But you still want to interrogate me?”

“Very much so.”

“Then I’m an open book. Dance away.”

“Favorite color, parents’ names, and a list of your high school activities, please,” he demanded. Rose could see how other people might find his dating style lackluster, but she found his haughty expression and awkward questions strangely endearing.

“Green, Barbara and Walter, and I was on prom committee my Senior year, otherwise I spent time outside of school working as a barista.”

Poe nodded sagely like he was taking all of the information in.

“Do I get to ask you questions?” Rose asked.

“Nope.”

She pouted. “Who says?”

“Me.” He spoke in a commanding tone that Rose found oddly attractive, even if he was using it to deflect. “Do you think you have a lot of general friendships or a small number of close friends?”

Rose narrowed her eyes at him. She thought that he must know her better than that. “Really? I feel like that’s obvious.”

Poe shrugged, betraying nothing.

“I have a few close friends. I’m a twin, I’ve always been very insular.”

“If I’m honest, that surprises me,” he said. “You’re so likable, I don’t know how you keep the masses at bay.”

It was always this, people she liked usually assumed she was outgoing and flirty and sweet with everyone. In reality, she was just very good at putting on a cheerful persona when she wanted to.

“I’m not that likable,” she countered. “I mean, I’m cheery but I don’t really let that many people in.”

Poe frowned, he looked down at his hands picking at the vinyl tablecloth. “Do you let me in?”

“You know what Tess said about me earlier?” She rested her chin in her hands, lowered her voice like she was telling a secret. “She said that I was a total wet blanket when you weren’t around.” She reached for one of his restless hands. “I think you ground me, weirdly enough. I’m better when I’m around you.”

“That sounds like my line.” Poe laughed. “Here I thought we had this 'opposites attract' thing going on, now you’re telling me you’re not actually my perfect little sunshine?”

Rose’s face flushed at Poe calling her his anything. She had to barrel into her next sentence to keep from floundering at the casual affection. “I’m just as broody and complain-y as you are,” she said. “I just do a better job of hiding it.”

“Complain-y?” He laughed.

“Yes, I love to complain!” She knew he was trying to poke at her choice of words, but she breezed past it. “For example, I do not like Tess as much as I think you think I do.”

Poe’s eyes shot open in exaggerated surprise. “Really? Now, this I have to hear.”

“All the complaints you have about her are incredibly valid, I think she’s too loud and too flippant and I don’t think she likes me very much either.”

“Everyone likes you,” Poe argued. “It’s your whole thing.”

Rose laughed, tipping her wine glass toward him with a flourish. “You’d think, but she thinks I’m way too serious.”

“You’re not.”

“And not very fun.”

“You’re incredibly fun.”

“You’re biased.” She took a sip of the sweet wine in a poor attempt at hiding her blush. She wondered how long it would take before Poe really began trying to fluster her, wondered if he’d ever realize just how easy it is for him. “Are you done First Date Dancing?” She asked.

“Not even a little bit.” Poe chuckled, clearly enjoying his interrogation. “Creamy or crunchy peanut butter?”

Rose rolled her eyes. “Come on, that doesn’t matter.”

“Answer the question.”

“Creamy.”

Poe grinned. “Correct.”

“That’s subjective!”

“What’s the best Girl Scout cookie?”

That was something Rose could use, to stray from this awkward questioning. She brightened, said, “I was a Girl Scout, you know.”

“I didn’t know that.”

Got him. She took another sip of wine and relaxed in her seat, much preferring to relax into a natural conversation. “I was a Scout until my first year of High School, I got my Bronze award for a volunteer clean-up project. My twin brother was also a Girl Scout.” She giggled at the memory. “They let him join my troop when we were younger because he felt left out.”

Poe regarded her with narrowed eyes. “That’s very cute but not an answer to my question.”

“Have you ever considered that I — or any other poor person you’ve been on a date with — might want to talk to you?” Rose reached for his hand again across the table, hopefully soothing him from the blow of her word choice. She hadn’t meant to imply that anyone might have not wanted to be on a date with him. “Like I said, I already like you. I want to spend time with you, not be asked a bunch of trivial questions that you don’t really care to know the answers to.”

He frowned, opened his mouth to speak, then closed it and frowned again. He sighed. “Where goes my brilliant way with words around you, Rose?”

“Away, because you think I’m cute,” she teased, though the recollection of their previous conversation made her blush.

He nodded in agreement. “Away, because I think you’re cute.” He turned his palm towards hers and laced their fingers together. “I don’t know how to do that,” he admitted. “Just talk.”

“You do it plenty.”

Poe chuckled. “I mean, when the stakes are so high. When I feel like I have to live up to your expectation of me.”

She could understand that perfectly. Rose was avoidant herself and often preferred creating a false version of herself to live up to rather than letting her guard down. It was rare, so rare, that she found someone like Poe that made her want to be honest. Someone that she trusted not to lose interest once she turned out to be a fully fleshed-out human with complicated emotions and thoughts. It was at once terrifying and exciting to let her guard down, but she needed Poe to do the same if it was going to work.

“The stakes aren’t high,” she said, finally. “You aren’t going to lose me if there’s a lull in conversation.” She squeezed his hand. “Promise.”

Poe smiled — a rare wide, unburdened smile. “I’ll hold you to that,” he said.

“Also, Samoas are the best Girl Scout Cookie,” Rose said. Stepping in and out of the First Date Dance was a dance in itself. She’d never been a dancer, but she thought she could manage quite well with a partner that knew he was allowed to fumble the steps. Like any other dance, opening up took practice.

hiii it's been a minute, so sorry! i was really looking forward to this chapter but gd i'm glad it's finally done. we're? halfway through i think!! going to take a break possibly and post a few one shots now :) thank you all for reading, everyone who is on my taglist and/or comments: i love you so much <3

tags: @1loveyou @dreamtydraw @justtayx @alinakamura

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