#hrhrhggggh.
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forgot we had to live with our great uncle while my gran was recovering from surgery and how uhhhh fucking scared i was of the men there! cool cool cool.
#rat.exe#like i remember straight-up thinking my great uncle was going to assault me because he was drunk and being very affectionate.#anddddd i remember him hitting me once for annoying him and my sister laid the FUCK into him for it.#he didn't Do anything to me btw but the fact that i was scared he was going to?#the fact that i considered it a very real possibility if not an inevitability?#i remember sitting on the chair on the other side of the room and trying to make up excuses to keep away from him.#hrhrhggggh.#and one of my older cousins who was like in his early 20s chased me up the stairs for pissing him off and i thought he was going to beat th#shit out of me.#again. nothing happened! but that does not mean it wasn't FUCKING AWFUL to think it WOULD#child abuse tw#csa tw#i dont know why the hell i was so convinced as a little kid that men were going to assault me.#i genuinely cant think of a reason for that because i'd been that way since i was a TINY kid and i dont know why
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