loyalhorror

[loyalhorror]

"If I hadn't tried, the cost would have been my soul."

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I know the tribbles are considered the highlight of 'The Trouble with Tribbles', but IMO, Kirk's absolute bitchy cattiness towards Nilz Baris throughout the entire episode is the true delight.

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actually had this silly thing kicking around in my head for a bit so here's this yay!!! i actually kind of like how it came out so mission failed successfully lmfao

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*cools ur dashboard down*

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rewatched watership down lately, so i had to draw more bruce as a result. flemish giant bruce is important to me.

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on the plus side even if i'm not able to be properly angry yet, i AM able to just cry about it and be sad. that's nice.

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haha. funny how just re-reading old RP threads can make me start crying 👍 idk. i think i'm getting to a point where i can be angry at the other person instead of myself (because i still don't understand what i did wrong), but i don't want to be angry at anyone, i want to go back. i want things to be fixed.

except. unfortunately you cannot turn back time. and i don't know if anything, any apology or attempt to make amends, could make up for what was done to me. and i don't think i like who i was around him anyway, the needy crawling thing that cried for days after it was left. so. whatever. it's better this way.

i guess.

[loyalhorror]

when you don’t have adequate parents you have to learn how to be your own.

however, i’ve learned while trying to apply this principle that viewing parts of myself as children or immature and irrational people who just need to be bullied or taught into submission wasn’t very fruitful. episodes like this can seem like “a tantrum” or form of regression to many people who don’t deal with them regularly. this is just the behavior of a person who has been pushed to their limit, and isn’t given a sufficient amount of resources, respect, and control over their own life – just like kids, due to the lack of social and legal protections they receive, not due to immaturity.

anyway, not every scenario goes like this. sometimes saying “i think this might make me feel worse, but i’ll give myself the freedom to do what i want regardless” means shutting down for the whole day, and i still consider this a success as it floats above more active forms of self-destruction that used to be quite common for me while i ignored clear escalation signals in my brain. this one probably looks the most like success to an audience, though, and i wanted to write about how useful saying “just do what you would want a parent to do for you” is to remind myself of

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Quote of the day

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Since we're all sharing summer tips, fyi if you are drinking water but still not feeling hydrated you might need salt and/or glucose to help actually absorb the water and restore electrolytes. Sports drinks are great but the world health organization also has a very simple diy solution:

1 litre water, 6 teaspoons sugar and half a teaspoon of salt.

Personally i don't like the taste of this, though you might not mind it. It's not very strong. I've been adding 1/3 more sugar and either 1. around the same amount of lemon juice as sugar, maybe a bit less, or 2. The same amount of citric acid as salt. Either way, the slight bitterness covers up the salt and i think it tastes pretty good. Add whatever else to it you want!

Mixing this together and adding some ice is always a great relief after I've been out walking & sweating my ass off 👍

[loyalhorror]

my thoughts on near dark during tonight's rewatch

a fun movie, but not actually a good one. the writing doesn't make any damn sense like 80% of the time; you have to really REACH to make mae and caleb's dynamic make sense, and then there's shit like diamondback randomly letting him go at the end (??) which is never addressed again because. there isn't time i guess

the blood transfusion thing is fun but it does also kind of lower the stakes of being a vampire. like it's fixed SO EASILY that it feels almost silly.

severen is endearingly annoying. extremely cringe and embarrassing rather than the Cool Bad Boy a lot of people (including himself--) make him out to be, but endearing.

caleb is SO... SO UNLIKEABLE DEAR GOD. he's such a creep. most of the men in the movie are but caleb and homer are next-level "wow you're just fully unwilling to hear a girl say 'no' to you, huh?" terrifying. caleb really just comes off as skeevy as hell, i do Not get why mae fell head over heels for him within like 5 minutes.

homer creeps me the fuck out. like alright you had a thing for mae but she chose caleb so now you're going to turn an actual little girl? are you gonna wait for her to "grow up", homer? because that's still kidnapping and grooming babe! world's first child predator who is both a child and a predator, and a predator of children.

despite being written and directed by a woman (i believe?) this movie doesnt like women very much

sorry i have to say again how unlikeable caleb is. the guy has the personality of a wet rag. i know people love shipping him and severen because theyre the only two Young White Men on the cast but dear god i'm not seeing it. you know it's bad when even "literally wiped the guy's blood off his face then sucked it off his finger" and "pulled his head back by the hair for no reason" can't get me to see a single shred of chemistry there.

that's probably because caleb doesn't have chemistry with Anyone, including mae. i'm not like. a caleb hater. i just think he's boring/badly written/badly acted.

entire bar scene still fucks severely and is the highlight of the movie. so is severen, despite his incredibly cringe dialogue. him jumping up onto the bar like "8D" is still so fucking funny.

why do the vampires EXPLODE when they die. holy shit how did i not catch that the first time around. hilarious choice

4/10 but i would still rewatch and recommend it

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these are my dialogue options when you talk to me btw

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ball-jointed doll by 山丘里的羊 on xiaohongshu.

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Being like. Post-suicidal is so strange. Like hiiiii everybody im new I spent a good chunk of my life languishing and have like 3 or 4 lived experiences. But now I'm ready to fuck and party or whatever. Can we be friends. Im so happy to be here. Can we be friends

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Missed Time, Ha Jin

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trailing plant pngs ! credit not necessary for pngs! like or reblog to use, don't repost as your own please.