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tearsona · 3 years

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true beauty | h.c. with fem!reader | part eight

a/n: wah it’s been so long, please forgive me. college has honestly been killing me. i didn’t plan on ending the update like this, but i figured it would take me much longer if i included the next scene here, so i decided to just put it in the next part. anyway thank u to those who have been waiting patiently! the endgame is finally revealed??? please let me know what u think ((i am aware not everyone will like where the story goes but please be nice)). ALSO!!!! please check out this playlist a cool tumblr friend made for the series i love it so much :3

part one | part seven

the suddenness of your action takes you both aback at first, lips awkwardly pressed against each other and unmoving. suddenly, you’re aware that you’ve just entered prohibited territory - one and the same with that which you’ve one-sidedly tried hard to stay away from, with seojun.

with suho though, this was territory you’ve never really had to make a conscious effort avoiding simply because it had been completely unmapped in your friendship before this moment - never been in your vocabulary ‘til now.

probably why it didn’t take you a second thought to cross the line. for a moment, it didn’t feel like the consequences were the same.

and so you wait for it - the regret, the panic, the unwanted voice at the back of your mind, the force that’d pull you off of your friend.

but it doesn’t come.

instead, you feel yourself melting into the kiss the same time suho’s body relaxes against yours and, for now, it doesn’t feel wrong. not at all.

truthfully, you’ve done this with a number of boys in the past, none of which you’d felt even the slightest bit of affection for, so there have been times where you wondered what a real kiss would feel like. until now.

with suho, it’s nothing electric or magical. in fact, it’s the opposite - but feels just as wonderful and rare. it’s altogether sweet and delicate; even as he goes to deepen the kiss by angling his head and pulling you closer by the waist, his mouth remains tender in its movements and his touch careful and feather-like, as though he’s holding something invaluable.

there is no sparks or burning ache, no bubble of excitement or tinge of desperation that has you clutching for more, but there’s a feeling of relief, of content that settles in your chest, and warmth that spreads through your body that makes you not want to let go.

it’s calm and real and grounding, and just… so very suho.

no, it’s nothing like in fiction, you think, or the plenty of times you’ve imagined what a kiss with him would feel like, one wherein fireworks dance behind your eyelids, or you’re spinning above the clouds. it’s nothing like that.

but it’s perfect.

and yet.

yet why his name is in your mind at this second, why you still can’t help but wonder if such dream-like kiss exists in reality is a frustration to you. even this seemingly perfect moment has somehow provoked the thought of him, just like all the other times in the past you’ve tried getting with another boy but heaven forbade you to.

him, whose presence is merely a few feet away, whose heart you’ve unknowingly decimated, shattered severely upon witnessing this moment, and if you just looked to your left you’d see the hurt that’s broadcast clearly on his face.

what with the interruptive thoughts, you’re the first to pull away from the kiss, eyes temporarily wide as you try to read his expression, but you’re unable to when you’re confused with your feelings yourself. all you know is that right now, you’re looking at him and seeing him in a completely different light - as if all colors had traded places or been imbued with a new property, that nothing feels quite the same anymore. in a good way, you hope. for now it feels so.

you blink once, twice, before you let go of the grip on his collar and suho’s arms slowly leave your waist. you take notice of the red in his cheeks and there’s no doubt, with the way they’re burning, that yours are mirroring them as well.

and for the first time… seojun feels like crying. he’s seen everything for sure, not having torn his eyes off the scene for at least a second. even now, he’s watching as suho lingers in front of your gate after you’ve gone inside, perhaps trying to process what had just transpired between you, perhaps feeling the exact opposite of what seojun is going through - intolerable, gut-wrenching pain, without exaggeration.

it’s the finality that hurts.

because, to seojun, more than the romantic heartbreak of finding you lips-to-lips with another man (suho, to be exact), this is the final fragment of the realization that you absolutely didn’t want anything to do with him anymore.

that night had been the end of your friendship. seojun can still remember the panic he went through the first time he realized that. but despite knowing that you hated him, what had gotten him through all these weeks was the tiny shred of hope that he still held onto - one of these days you were going to miss him, forgive him, or at least tell him that you were willing to hear him out.

because that was the kind of bond that you had. at least, that was how he’d read it - past the playful acts and teasing remarks was the promise of an unflinching friendship, of always having each other’s back, of finding home in one another. as cliche as it sounds, he’d always felt that there was some kind of invisible string that tied you together - you were each other’s person, and being separated from each other felt like walking around in half.

but seeing you here was what killed that illusion of hope for seojun. it finally hit him that he no longer held any place in your life.

for real.

on the other hand, you’re wondering just how much different things would have turned out, if it had been him all along. lee suho.

it should have been him.

he’s attractive, he’s kind, he’s sensible, he’s great to have around, and he even does all of these sweet things for you. not just the big favors, but also the minor, missable gestures from him during your moments together that he thinks you don’t notice.

plus, he’s never judged you even though he knows you inside out, to the point that it annoys you sometimes, how you could never hide anything from him. you know you need that though - someone who could see right through you despite your stubbornness to express your feelings.

but most importantly, that kiss. who knew, that you and him could ever share something like that? suho, out of all people. up until that moment, you’d only ever seen and treated him as a friend. almost a sibling even.

but that’s exactly why these thoughts should be making you feel guilty, improper. like they always did with seojun.

and yet somehow, they don’t.

suho had been the first to lean in, after all.

of course, neither of you had meant it to happen. you know how much suho likes jugyeong - you’ve seen it. having spent a lot of time with him lately too, it’s obvious that his feelings for the girl haven’t changed a bit.

clearly, it shouldn’t have meant anything. it was no more beyond a mere lapse of judgment. admittedly, you’d been momentarily swayed by the way he had looked at you then… it was alien to you. sure, you’ve had guys stare at you with want before, but none of them had ever looked at you the way suho did in that moment - like there was a need, an ache to kiss you.

and it doesn’t matter if you’d read it wrong, if it had been fleeting, or if you’d both just simply misplaced your feelings for other people, each been craving affection from someone that wasn’t available as the other had been in that moment. what matters is the plain fact that suho sees you as a woman. and if you’re not mistaken, there was definitely something in that kiss - a mutual undercurrent of something you can’t quite name but, dare you say it, held the potential to bloom into something more if you both wanted to. if you were both willing to try.

the thought of it is enough to stir something inside you.

you enter the studio later than you’re supposed to for no reason other than you’d accidentally slept through your alarm after spending the whole night awake. you mumble your apologies to nobody in particular as you make your way to set your things down on one of the tables, camera flashes and shutter clicks as well as you’re doing great, fantastic! turn around, good! and other words of encouragement from the photographer filling the room as usual.

you try to regain your breath for a moment after having run all the way here, searching the contents of your bag for your water bottle until you hear something that causes your head to snap up immediately.

“…han seojun! one, two - looks great! now smile for me!”

your eyes grow wide when they land on the man posing in front, blinking hard as though that would make him disappear, and he would’ve seen the embarrassing look on your face if you weren’t quick to snap out of it just right before his eyes meet yours. seojun’s posture visibly slackens when he sees you. you watch as the photographer continues to click his camera at every second even as his instructions go ignored.

“handsome, isn’t he?” your co-worker whispers from beside you when she notices you staring, nudging your arm teasingly. “everyone loves him here.”

you break your eye contact with the apparent celebrity to look at your co-worker. “r- really? is he always, um, around?”

the girl nods. “lately he hasn’t been, but yeah, you’ll see him often,” she says before sending you a wink, “you’d have to get in line though.”

you mouth a knowing “ah” in response as you force out a laugh before returning your gaze to the photoshoot - cut short due to the model’s sudden lack of attention - when you find two pairs of eyes looking back at you, the photographer having turned around after hearing seojun mumble your name to himself.

“oh? y/n, you’re finally here?” the older man greets, gesturing you to come closer before turning to seojun. “you know her? you know each other?”

you stop right in front of them and spare the boy a glance to check his response but he doesn’t answer, eyes settled on something else at the opposite side of the room. you give the older man a polite bow.

“ahhh,“ the man nods as though he’s realized something obvious. he points a finger at you. “are you his girlfriend?”

the random question has you both reacting immediately, seojun’s head whipping to face the other man as he opens his mouth to say something, but you were quicker to exclaim a defensive ”no!“ while waving your hands to stress your denial, causing the boy to feel offended somehow. you swallow your discomfort when he finally turns to you with a look that’s nothing short of a glare.

“hyung, can we just hurry to the next shoot?” seojun asks impatiently.

what if you quit your job on the spot?

you consider the option.

“alright,” the man replies, patting the younger’s shoulder twice in agreement. “go get changed then. y/n will help you. we’ll get the set ready.”

and so now, you’re outside the men’s room, anxiously flittering back and forth as you wait for seojun to finish, a ready-to-be-worn grey coat in your hand along with a few makeup you’ve been told to bring with. you freeze as soon as you hear the cubicle open and you will your heart to calm for the last time.

“here,” you mumble as soon as he comes out, holding the piece of clothing up on either side so seojun can slip his arms in, which he does reluctantly.

the short silence is deafening. this being your first interaction in a long time, you feel a lump form in your throat at the rush of different conflicting emotions suddenly vying for your attention.

the past few weeks have been up and down. throughout its course, you have loved, hated, wanted, resented, and missed the man, questioned the rightness or wrongness of your decision to end the friendship, and so on… you couldn’t be consistent.

right now, it’s all at once.

but even if you can’t will your heart to tone down these feelings, or temporarily forget about them just long enough to get you through the afternoon, at least you’ll outwardly pretend they don’t exist. that much, you can do.

“hold on,” you stop seojun by the arm just as he’s about to walk away. you reach out to fix the back of his collar that’s been folded wrong with an impassive face and the little courage you’ve mustered, missing the way his body tenses at your touch and proximity…

when you’re done, you attempt to smoothen the wrinkles of his clothing next by swiftly brushing your hand through them until you feel yourself starting to become a little too comfortable with your actions. you allow yourself a singular glance at his face and you’re met with a gaze that almost already has the surface of your resolve breaking.

applying the powder onto his face is even more agonizing. you try to avoid eye contact with him as much possible, patting down on his skin with utmost gentleness so contrary to the raging emotions bottled within you. you feel his unmoving stare burning through your skin and you’re thinking maybe, for once, he’s actually able to see right through you.

maybe right now he could tell, that one right or wrong word from him could easily have you crawling through hot coals just to take him back.

and it also doesn’t help that he smells so damn good.

you try to make it quick.

handing seojun the lip balm next (surely, he can do it by himself), you step back to a safer distance when you hear a booming voice that causes you to jump.

“perfect! you look perfect! y/n,” the photographer beams as he approaches you, having just witnessed the entirety of your wordless exchange with the other. “how would you like to do the photoshoot with us?”

you raise your eyebrows in confusion the same time you hear the man beside you utter a loud “what?”, you glance at him and see disapproval written all over his face.

“but i already am…?”

ignoring the younger’s reaction, the photographer shakes his head when he says, “i mean, as a model.”

you gasp incredulously before waving your hands in refusal. “me? no, no way, i can’t. i’m sorry.”

“the other model didn’t show up,” he continues, “and we need to update the newly released product, so it’s kind of urgent.”

“hyung,” seojun interrupts, “not everyone can be a model!”

you feel your heart sting at his words, but as much as it offends you, he has a point. “he’s right… i shouldn’t. i’ve never tried this before.”

“that’s why you can do even better,” the older man encourages. “and i’ll pay you more, don’t worry.”

so here you are. the photoshoot is nothing less than unpleasant, awkward. the man beside you is fuming with annoyance - you can almost physically feel the heat of it. but it’s not like you don’t like this idea any less than he does, you just simply couldn’t turn down the money.

you just wish he would stop acting like a kid and at least look at the camera. what are you even supposed to do with him just standing there, put your arms around him? no way.

and so after several attempts by the photographer, like a mother to a child, at getting seojun to smile, turn around, look friendly, anything… to no avail, he deduces that seojun’s defiance is simply due to hunger, so he calls for a ten-minute break where he can grab him food.

when the man leaves, seojun lets out an exasperated sigh you feel the urge to roll your eyes at. he takes a seat on the couch behind you just as one of the other ladies in the room comes to set down a box of tissue on the table. you mutter a polite thanks.

after yourself, you grab the box and offer it to seojun, who only stares at the thing before looking away. honestly… you’re kinda thankful for his stubborn attitude. because being annoyed is better, far more tolerable than having to acknowledge what you actually feel deep down. you can save that for later.

frustratedly, you sigh when you take it upon yourself to pull out a tissue for him and wipe away his sweat, only to be stopped when he seizes your wrist and looks you up and down - like you’re nothing more than a nuisance. “what are you doing?”

you try not to be intimidated by his glare as you try to resist his grip. “did you not hear what she said? it’s so you’ll look nice in the photos.”

“forget it,” he says, pushing your hand further from his face. “go away.“

you exhale impatiently. “will you stop being difficult? it’s not like i’m doing this because i want to—”

once again, seojun is quick to take hold of your wrist, but this time he looks pissed enough to render you silent.

“i said stop.” a tense beat of silence before he continues, “is this that easy for you?”

you feel the air around you change at his words. your heartbeat starts to quicken at the sudden unease that coils in your belly. all the more so, when you find yourself pinned against the couch in the next second, seojun’s face merely a few inches above yours that you almost don’t hear it, over the thunderous pounding of your heart in your ears, when he says, “how long will you keep this up?”

you swallow nervously.

there it is - the confrontation you’ve been fearing.

but how are you supposed to answer, when the proximity of your faces is past the bounds of your being able to think straight?

in response, all you can do is stare at seojun wide-eyed and dumbfounded, much to his disappointment - especially when the interruption of the older man, who is more than enthusiastic to see you in perfect position (“that’s what i’m talking about!”), gives you the opportunity to look away and avoid the question further.

the next thing you know, seojun is hoisting you upright by the waist until your chests are almost pressed against each other, feeling his breath on your skin when he tells you, “i want to make this quick, so just cooperate.“

all throughout the shoot, seojun wordlessly directs you like the natural he is, like when he guides your arm around his shoulder, or when he angles his body or tilts his head towards yours… he makes it so every pose looks and feels as if your bodies had been made to fit together perfectly.

the more clicks and flashes, the more entangled with each other you become, the faster you feel your heart beat. he does everything so casually - and yet every touch lingers, tingles where it just left, somehow different from any of the platonic touches he’s initiated before… somehow feels achingly right.

soon, he’s pushing you as he leans forward, more gently than the first time, and when your back hits the sofa, your eyes lock in a silent exchange beyond your lagging mind’s comprehension. seojun’s gaze remains steady on yours, unwavering even as he brings your hand onto his shoulder where it rests uneasy.

at this point, it feels as if your heart is about to thump right out of your chest, or jump out of your throat. by now you’ve already drowned out your surroundings, entrapped in a bubble only you two shared and smelled only of his cologne. you try not to give yourself away under his intense scrutiny, eyes continuously flickering between yours…

shamelessly, they cast downwards, landing on your lips as you hold your breath…. and when he starts to lean in -

that’s when it becomes unbearable. thankfully, the oblivious photographer is there to yell out the end of the shoot right when you need it, there to remind you that this is only a photoshoot. but before that, seojun’s lips had only been merely a few millimeters apart from yours - one millisecond away from who knows what…

you have to get out of there, you think.

because now any progress - every painstaking step you’d taken at overcoming your unrequited feelings, your all-consuming pining for the man, in the previous weeks avoiding him for that purpose had been for nothing. so easily as you’d expected, seojun just shattered your carefully constructed but fragile barriers into heartbreaking fragments… so obliviously too.

you push him off of you immediately and head out of the room without a word, but one question in your mind.

why had he looked at you like that?

“i need relationship advice.”

jugyeong’s eyes widen, food halfway to her mouth. relationship is the least of the things she’d suspected seojun to be bothered by right now, especially with him denying that he liked anyone just a few weeks ago. “oh? what? really? i’m not really an expert on this subject though,” she says in a pout, but later sets down her chopsticks to give the other man her full attention. “lay it on me. i’ll try and be helpful.”

slowly, seojun swallows his food before he muses, “there’s this girl i like…” jugyeong nods at him to keep going. “but i’m going to move on.”

“huh? why? have you told her how you feel?”

seojun chuckles, “no.”

the girl frowns disappointedly. “but you’re already moving on?”

seojun smiles sadly to himself at the brief recall of memories, all pointing to one person. your unforgettable reaction that night when he’d confidently put you in suho’s friendzone, your description of your type in men (which, at one point in the past weeks, he’d foolishly hoped matched him), and that kiss. the kiss that cemented all his suspicions. the kiss you’d appearingly enjoyed with the other person then, versus the vivid memory of you pushing him off to get away from just him, after that photoshoot. “she likes someone else.”

the words leave a bitter taste in his mouth.

jugyeong blinks before straightening up in her seat. “do you like her a lot?”

“yeah…” seojun hums with another smile despite the heavy weight in his chest. “a lot.”

“so what if she likes somebody else? i didn’t expect you to be the type to give up on someone so easily.”

seojun stares at the clueless girl in guilt when he says, “but he likes her too.”

if only jugyeong knew.

“still. it’s not too late if they aren’t dating yet,” she argues, though the boy seems to have already given up on the girl in question. jugyeong sighs in understanding before flashing her friend a smile in attempt to lift his mood. “she must be some girl for you to have a crush on,” she teases, “she must be beautiful.”

seojun hums in agreement. “she is,” he says, chuckling to himself, “i have high standards, you know.”

“seriously,” jugyeong scolds, “then you should tell her soon and make her your girlfriend.”

seojun smiles weakly. “do you think… she would come to me if i did?”

turning your head to acknowledge the sudden appearance of your friend, your eyes follow suho as he takes a seat beside you in the nearly empty library. “how’d you know i was here?”

“where else would you be, cutting school?” he retorts, causing you to scowl.

“why, you don’t think i can do that?” you bite back defensively, slamming your book shut and pushing it aside so you can rest your cheek on the palm of your hand to look at the boy with full attention.

suho shrugs, “but you’d rather be doing homework. am i not right?”

“tch,” you utter in defeat, the corners of your mouth twitching as you try to hold back a smile. “am i that boring?”

“who says you are?“ he frowns, quick to react as though you’d offended him, “you’re far from boring.”

you blink, feeling your heart stutter over his simple words.

it’s always like this. you showing the slightest hint of self-doubt, self-deprecation - even jokingly - and suho catching you off-guard with a compliment or reassurance that always leaves you feeling a little bit better about yourself, sometimes special, even. and you never have to question the sincerity behind his words like you often would with other people, because he just always is, when it comes to you. it’s like he genuinely believes you’re special, and it’s his duty to make you know so.

but you don’t think it’s ever been like this. never been accompanied by a hint of that all-too-familiar feeling… one you were actually starting to think only seojun was capable of evoking, no one else. and yet here it is. faint, but there.

feeling all of a sudden uneasy under your stare, suho shifts in his seat, tearing his eyes off you to search for something to talk about. “what’s that?” he blurts, pointing to something behind you.

“hmm?” you hum, still tranced, sliding your arm off the table to look at the object of his attention: a cute medium-sized, pastel-colored paper bag that’s been sitting atop the table along with the rest of your belongings.

“oh, this…” your lips curl into a fond smile, briefly glancing at the bag’s contents even if you’d already taken a look at them earlier - candies, snacks, a pocket-sized stuffed animal meant to make you smile, along with a small thank you note, for being such a kind person, it says. “a gift.”

“gift to whom…?”

“from,” you correct, chewing on your bottom lip in a moment of contemplation before you continue, “from jugyeong.“

carefully, you gauge his expression and catch as it flickers with sadness that almost has you reaching out to comfort him, but, similarly, you feel something knot in your own chest at the thought of the girl as well.

jugyeong, who always smiled at you at every given opportunity, just as how seeing her always made you smile, too. earlier, she’d come to you and asked you to stick your hand out for a gift - a gift you didn’t quite deserve, honestly.

you’d seen her bare face, kept your promise not to tell anyone, but haven’t you just been doing what a normal person should? just why would you go around telling other people another person’s business, anyway?

and so at that moment, you understood - why everyone seemed to adore the girl. not only was she pretty enough to attract a lot of eyes, but she also had a beautiful, bright personality that unfailingly caught people’s hearts as well. yours wasn’t an exception. and neither was seojun’s or suho’s.

she reminds you of seyeon just a little bit.

lately, you’ve been finding yourself wanting to be around the girl, wanting to strike up a conversation, just genuinely wanting to be her friend. but, understandably, jugyeong was almost never alone. there was always sua, soojin… seojun.

of course.

no matter how much you’ve grown to like the girl, there is still that ache, the pang of jealousy that always came at the thought of her.

and now there is also that guilt…

slowly, your gaze shifts to suho when your train of thought leads you back to him. surprisingly, since that day, nothing has changed in the way you got along with each other. and as much as a relief it is to you that whatever happened hadn’t ruined your precious friendship, you can’t help the questions that still linger in your mind - can’t keep pretending like nothing happened.

”h- hey, um,” you begin, clearing your throat awkwardly and immediately catching the boy’s attention. his eyes flicker downwards, where he finds your hands starting to pick at the loose threads of your uniform. and just as he expects, “about the other day…”

for a few seconds, suho’s eyes linger on yours before they trail away and settle on something else at a distance. he looks neither tense or awkward, just calm, as though he’s already prepared himself for this conversation.

the truth is, he has. he’s thought about it more times than he could count in the past few days, replayed the scene over and over. he’s wondered what it meant for both you and him, if it would change anything, if he wanted to do anything about it… how much he liked it… and why he’d done it in the first place.

at that time, the urge to kiss you had been so strong. after all, his feelings for you had once been fiery and consuming long time ago. perhaps seojun acknowledging them all of a sudden had opened the cap of where they had previously been safely contained, and caused some them to resurface.

if he’d ever thought about making a move or confessing to you in the past, he had. several times. however, it wasn’t hard for him to tell then that his best friend liked you, too, just as how it was easy to figure out that you felt the same about the other.

that was the reason why he’d kept those feelings hidden well - he didn’t want to get in the way.

eventually, they died down, anyway. eventually, the ache of seeing his two best friends’ oblivious pining for each other became more bothersome than the ache of not having his feelings reciprocated by you. and that goes on until now - seeing you heartbroken these days just because the other boy was still failing to realize his own feelings frustrated him, too.

but he knows, deep down, seojun will come through. he just needs to come to his senses.

“it didn’t mean anything,” you say, voice breaking through his thoughts, “right?“

no. suho wants to say no. it did mean something to him. and the glint of hope in your eyes at the moment makes him want to tell the truth all the more - makes him think he actually stands a chance.

“yeah…” suho finally answers.

because despite all the uncertainty, one thing that’s clear to him is that in the past few days he’s been trying to understand his own heart, one person’s name had been insistent, loud and unignorable. that girl, he misses more than anything. and he knows, for sure, that this is the one thing he’d definitely regret not doing about if he didn’t. not him failing to confess to you.

once again, silence fills the air, and you feel the slightest disappointment in your stomach over this confirmation.

but that however doesn’t last long when you feel it quickly being replaced by relief. acceptance. you feel at ease - like a weight you didn’t know you’d been holding has been lifted off your chest.

you feel a little bit funny for having actually hoped for something else, too. because somehow, all of a sudden, that kiss, and all the thoughts and temporary feelings that came with it, feel like a distant memory to you now.

to suho, it would take a little more time to forget completely, but for now he feels the same relief as you do.

slowly, your mouth lifts into a genuine smile. “okay…”

you feel warmth spread across your chest when suho returns it. all the more so when his shoulders start to shake in a silent chuckle, eyes crinkling just a tiny bit more.

“okay.”

time heals, but it could also fester.

after having only told yourself things like pain is temporary and things just have to get worse before they get better in the past few weeks, you’re finally admitting to yourself that this isn’t it.

it’s always when you reach your bedroom at the end of the day where you let yourself crumble. you can’t count with all your fingers and toes the amount of times these four walls have witnessed you desperately reach out for your phone to call the boy. only almost. because every time, you managed to talk yourself out of it.

but as your mind continuously repeats suho’s words this afternoon, you realize just how much you’ve actually been waiting to hear it.

i think you should talk to seojun.

after all, it’s been a month and the ache still hasn’t gotten easier. the sad, dull ache - the longing for that person that seems to always permeate everything in the end, no matter how much you try to distract yourself from it.

isn’t confession the only thing that’s left?

or maybe you just need more time. another month, perhaps…

but no. seojun deserves to know the truth. one hundred percent of it. it’s what you both deserve anyway. you’re going to confess, have him reject you, and then you’ll finally be able to move on.

what have you got to lose now, anyway?

your thumbs hover over your keyboard.

but just as you’re about to compose your text, three dots suddenly appear at the bottom of your messages, indicating that the other is typing. you almost drop your phone at the sight.

your heart hammers against your rib cage as you spend a whole minute watching as those dots keep disappearing and reappearing on your screen. you wait for what feels like forever, until the words finally arrive, message unexpectedly short for the amount of time it had taken the other:

can we talk?

bff!seojun headcanons (bonus) | part nine

#true beauty #true beauty headcanons #han seojun x reader #lee suho x reader #hwang inyeop #cha eunwoo #lee suho #han seojun #tbhc #moon gayoung #im jukyung #lim jugyeong #hwang in yeop

978 notes · View notes

kyanmapng · 4 years

Text

han seojun sleepover headcanons.

listen to what to do (feat mark) by henry.

˗ˋˏ author’s note ˎˊ˗

come and get your seojun love and appreciation. this one is for @seojunly who asked for sleepover hcs! 🤗 imagine sleepovers with the one and only han seojun who happens to be your childhood bestie. i focused more on 20s ver seojun but there are also flashbacks to childhood and high school days. it ended up being a hybrid of both scenario and headcanon. enjoy!

sleepovers are actually almost a weekly occurrence. most of the times it’s not really planned. you hang out with each other and suddenly it’s too late to leave and you are forced to crash. (also seojun just flat out refuses to let you leave after a certain hour, he would try to make you stay or he will walk you all the way to your apartment, there is no in-between)

even if it’s something that happens this often, don’t think for one minute that seojun is not losing his mind over it. you are best friends, right? it’s normal right? but when you fall asleep on him while watching netflix? when you cuddle closer and hug him? his soul leaves his body and he never had to urge himself to keep his self-control more.

when you were younger you used to have sleepovers all the time as well, but when it was at his house his little sister was in the picture and it was more like a hangout than anything. and gowoon liked you as her sister and wanted to spend time with you so he was often third-wheeling and sulking in the corner.

it doesn’t help that you are so unaware of his struggles. you unknowingly make his brain turn off every time you lean over him for something or put your hand on his thigh to support yourself. whenever your hands meet in the bowl with popcorn you turn to him and smile, sometimes he annoys you and holds your hand but you think nothing of it because he loves to tease you - but he is spazzing out about holding your hand.

if you order pizza he always leaves the bigger pieces to you and even has less and gives you the last one, because he loves seeing you enjoy your food.

he can actually make a lot of dishes and flexes that anytime you come over because you are only ever confident in instant ramen as to not set fire to your kitchen (you are just more of a baker, which he doesn’t mind because he has a sweet tooth and when it’s made by you? his heart is sold.)

it depends on how tired you are, but sometimes you keep dishes overnight and sometimes you do them together and it does feel homely. working in sync and moving around each other with a practised sense of familiarity. you jam out together to your favorite songs but more often than not you stop singing and listen to him with a smile. when he notices he is a little bashful and pokes your forehead telling you to “not slack off”.

when you were little, you used to be afraid of the dark and even had this small light, but even then you sometimes couldn’t fall asleep and seojun noticed that and would tuck you in really tight. (“no monsters can get you now, i will fight them off for you.”) you giggled and held out your hand to him shyly. he got so used to holding your hand while you dozed off that it was weird when he slept on his own.

he likes to tease you about it now that you are older. asking if you need his hand to sleep comfortably, resulting in getting whacked by a pillow.

maybe you have a toothbrush at seojun’s because you do this so often and it makes him smile every time he sees it. he makes faces at you through the mirror when you brush your teeth and hopes it will make you laugh and often you almost choke because when it doesn’t work he is not above tickling you. (he is a bully sometimes.)

when you were in high school he would always make you sleep in his bed and take the couch instead. but now when he’s all grown up with bigger bed it’s always quite a fight. with you telling him it’s okay, you can fit. and him being like? i’m a guy, how can you be so calm with sharing a bed?

and it’s like a lightbulb is lit and you realise. it’s not like you don’t see his visual, because how could you not? it’s more like … you try to overlook it to stop having thoughts that are not in childhood friend spectrum. things about how squishy he looks when he wakes up with his bedhead and puffy cheeks. how his voice gets deeper when he greets you in the morning. how he definitely put on some muscle when you end up leaning on him and maybe you walked in on him once or twice when he was changing his t-shirt. you try not to think about him borrowing you his clothes to sleep in, because you shouldn’t be thinking that! he is your best friend!

it ends up with him on the couch again, regretting having morals and staying away. but maybe one day you drink a little too much because your friend was celebrating getting promoted and she makes you drink to loosen up. it goes on for longer than it should’ve and seojun being the worrywart he is ends up calling you to check up on you. when you answer all giddy and giggly he knows right away you are in no condition to walk home. he wheedles the location out of your drunk self and tells you to stay put.

he shows up out of breath because he ran most of the time, too nervous you might try to meet him halfway and end up getting lost on the way. after he literally picks you up (walking is not an option with your level of intoxication) and piggybacks you home he is ready to tuck you in and be on his way, but… you end up holding him back. “can you hold my hand? i’m scared.”

seojun’s heart does a flip and he gulps so loud it echoes through the apartment. “are you scared of the dark again?” he wants to tease but holds out his hand anyway and you grab it happily and you shake your head no to his question. confused he asks what is that you’re scared of then. and the answer shakes him up to his core.

“i’m scared you might end up hating me.” you take a deep breath, looking away. “for liking you more than a friend.” after that you end up knocking out and he is just sitting there with his free hand on his face as if it could stop the blush. he let’s out a sigh, whispering “you are so unfair.” while tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and lying down next to you.

you wake up with a massive hangover, but that almost doesn’t register because you are tucked into someone’s arms and you can’t remember anything. you panic for a split second before you recognize seojun’s face few centimetres away from your own. his eyes flutter open as if he sensed you waking up. and you expect him to pull away and apologize (this did happen sometimes when you both actually fell asleep in the same bed or on the couch and usually he jumped out of the bed faster than you could say his name). this time he doesn’t move, only gives you this unnerving stare that a man who just woke up shouldn’t be able to muster.

“do you remember anything?” you try to ignore the close contact and keep your cool, racking your brain for answers. you remember your friend pouring you drinks and remember laughing when your favorite song came on before you realized it’s your ringtone. you remember seojun’s voice and how he smelled like he came straight out of the shower, you remember almost falling off his back when you thought you saw a stray cat and tried to jump off. you remember your head hitting the pillow and… oh god, your face goes red.

“did...did i really make you hold my hand?” seojun nods. “and… is there any hope you didn’t actually hear me say that .. thing?” seojun chuckles, enjoying his upper hand.

“i could never hate you, you dumbass. i’m in the same boat.” that takes a while to register in your hangover state. but seojun doesn’t give you the time. he kisses your forehead and holds you closer.

“now we don’t have to fight over sleeping in one bed anymore. i’ve always slept the best with you next to me anyway.”

#true beauty #true beauty headcanons #true beauty tvn #han seojun #han seo jun #hwang inyeop #hwang in yeop #true beauty seojun #han seojun reader insert #han seojun x reader #moon writes to the stars

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clvhq · 2 years

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se ha visto a park seokgu desfilando por las calles y boulevares de parís, pero no hemos llegado a ver si es de pronto buena o mala fortuna la que le persigue. ¿tu sí? ¡anímate a descubrir cuál es!

andi, ¡bienvenide a cestlaviehq! nos encanta que seas parte de nuestro proyecto y esperamos que el buen juicio sea parte de tu camino dentro del mismo y si no… bueno, ¡así es la vida! recuerda que tienes 24 hs para hacernos saber cuál será la cuenta de tu personaje y que, en caso de necesitarlo, puedes pedir más tiempo.

out of character.

nombre / pseudonimo: andi pronombres: ella/suya edad: 21+ pa s / zona horaria: chile triggers: - en caso de unfollow, ¿dejarias que se continue utilizando tu personaje como no jugable? sí ¿algo que agregar? 1ra vez que hago 3 bbs desenme suertee

in character.

nombre completo: Park Seokgu pronombres: el/suyo faceclaim: hwang inyeop fecha de cumpleaños: 1 de noviembre del 93 edad: 28 ocupacion: actor, estudia canto.

descripcion psicologica:

divertido, inteligente, carismatico. cariñoso con sus cercanos. egocéntrico, se enoja con facilidad, dramático, procastinador.

headcanons sobre el personaje:

Solía trabajar de mesero en un club para cubrir sus gastos y ayudar a su familia, pero renunció desde que la situación económica de su hogar cambió. Hizo un comercial de televisión cuando era niño, también apareció en una serie juvenil, y ha tenido papeles de roles menores en películas nacionales. Tiene una cicatriz debido a un accidente de auto cuando era más joven, no le gusta mostrar su torso por lo mismo. Se volvió un gran gastador de dinero desde que su sitaución económica cambió. Suele ganar dinero con trabajos cortos de modelaje.

#formulario.#fc: hwang inyeop.#user: andi.#familia: park.

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skzfelixity · 4 years

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Han Seojun | [True Beauty]

Dating Han Seojun would include:

You might think he is cold but he is the most considerate boyfriend you will ever have.

Always asking how you are feeling or how your day went.

If you weren’t feeling well, he would be by your side until you feel better.

Trying to make you smile by being an idiot, usual Seojun behaviour.

Flowers. A lot of flowers.

You could make a garden with all the flowers he gives you.

H U G S and forehead kisses.

Moving his bangs aside so you can kiss his forehead always makes his heart skip a beat.

Hugs are his fave way to show you affection in public.

He isn’t big on PDA, kisses on the cheek is the farthest he will go.

If you are lucky, you might get a few pecks on the lips here and there though.

When you two are alone, oh boiii

Long cuddle sessions, most of them leading to make out sessions.

He is good with his hands and tongue, just saying.

H I C K E Y S

He is a high school boy, did you not expect him to be horny?

We don’t mind tho, do we? nope.

Teasing you to the point where you want to smack him.

“Were you always this annoying?”

Will never go overboard, he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable.

Trusting each other.

He has a lot of girls going after him but so do you.

In addition to the last statement, he does get jealous easily.

Being a lil more overprotective than he should be, he just knows bad people are out there waiting to hurt someone. He didn’t want that someone to be you.

Other students know you are a couple so they don’t hit on you.

Taehoon does once in a while to annoy Seojun but nothing else.

Outside of school, you get asked for your number often. Seojun growling at them before you can decline nicely.

You are his and you are going to be his, that’s final.

When he can’t be around, he has Chorong look out for you.

Dates? He takes you anywhere you want.

You want to go out? You will.

You want to stay in? No problem.

He just wants you to be comfortable<3

His mom and Gowoon love you, you are part of the family.

They usually joke about you picking Seojun.

“What is such a good girl doing with my son?”

We are attracted to tsundere boys ma’am.

Motorcycle rides to school.

He got you your own helmet as well.

Matching clothes? yessir!

Mostly black, grey, blue and white combos.

HE GIVES YOU HIS JACKET AT SCHOOL, I’M SCREAMING.

Showing up in his iconic jackets and hoodies when you hang out with your friends without him.

Like literally every outfit he wore was iconic, like mr/mrs/ms stylist thank you.

Getting him rings and earings.

Him wearing them 24/7.

I am melting at this point.

Dragging him to karaoke just to hear his beautiful voice.

Him acting like he doesn’t want to sing but it is a great chance to show off.

Staring at him thinking how you got so lucky to have him and him doing the same.

Him singing you to sleep while spooning you.

A relationship with Han Seojun = Heaven

I need him in my miserable life like please someone buy me a Seojun.

Defending you when someone badmouths you.

He would beat them up but you told him not to since he might become an idol in the future.

Almost lost it when Sungyong got too close to you, you had to calm him down for a solid hour after that.

Head over heels for each other.

The things he would do for you, ohgod.

He’ll probably get you a star.

Um excuse me, the pet names !!!

Baby, honey, princess etc.

Cue him telling Jukyung about showing off his girlfriend.

He’ll walk around with the look of ‘That’s my girlfriend’.

Too proud of you to shut up.

He’s a family guy, he wants a big fam so prepare.

In conclusion, we need more men like him.

I’m gonna go cry now because I need someone like Han Seojun.

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tearsona · 4 years

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true beauty | h.c. with fem!reader | part five

a/n: thought this would take me less than a day to write bc i already had everything in my head, but i kept getting busy and stuck. also seojun’s such a sweetheart it was hard to write angst bc i just don’t think he’s ever gonna do anything wrong… anyway this hc has gotten sm love i’m so happy bc so many kind ppl have been interacting with me i’m??? :( <3

part one | part four

“missed me already?” a voice from behind shakes you out of your thoughts that were deafening in the otherwise silent night. you whip your head towards the source and it’s crazy, how your entire being softens at the mere sight of him.

it’s been a rough week and tonight you’re just really really sad and badly in need of a hug, badly want to curl yourself into a ball and be wrapped up in somebody’s arms, nuzzle your face against their neck like a baby, and feel your troubles leaving your body.

thankfully, seojun’s presence alone feels just like that - like a warm embrace. like landing on a pillow after a long day.

which is why you’d asked to meet him at this time of the night.

“it’s only been a weekend,” you deny as you roll your eyes, but you don’t try to hide the smile on your face as you do. “was just bored.”

more like, sick of being at home.

you hand the boy the cup of hot chocolate in your hand when he walks to you and rests his arms on the railing next to yours, and he’s close enough so that your clothed bodies are touching and all of a sudden the sweet mixed scent of his crisp cologne and laundry detergent is clouding your sense.

then he goes, “mm, just say you wanted to see my handsome face,” and the emphasis on the word makes it known to you that he’s teasing you over that truth game from the school trip. whilst he says this, you feel his body lean towards you a little and you’re about to scold him for the lack of space but when you look up at him, oh, he’s closer than you thought. too close, like… heart-stopping close, that you can feel his warm breath on your cheeks when he adds, “you don’t have to lie a second time.”

and it’s already bad enough from a distance but seojun is dangerously, painfully, drop-dead good-looking up close.

so you desperately fumble with your shut-down mess of a brain, scrambling for words, but it proves itself useless when the only thing you come up with in the end is “pshhhh!” as you tilt your head and push the boy away, and it feels like coming up for air after being underwater for long. when your brain finally catches up to you, you follow up with, “getting too cocky over a toy, huh. but i mean, if it makes you happy…”

you take your eyes off him and take a sip from your drink in an attempt to cover the red in your cheeks, but fortunately, the boy seems oblivious to the effect he’s just had on you anyway. he looks smug nonetheless.

but if you’re being honest, you haven’t let go of that game either. ever since then, you’ve also wondered multiple times, if seojun has ever found you attractive. or, maybe you just want to know what it is about you that’s so unlikeable that, not even once in his 6 years of being by your side, has he ever looked at you that way - the same way he looks at the girl he’d met less than three months ago.

wonder how, while you’ve been struggling all this time to keep the guy at an arm’s length, everything seemed too easy for him; how he’s able to remain this carefree and bold and unaffected around you, completely oblivious to the way your body stills every time your hands accidentally touch or the way you lose all your senses whenever he’s standing too close like this, even after all these years.

but even more you wonder what he meant when he picked love over friendship. because, no matter how inaccurate the “lie detector" was, the way he pronounced his answer with zero hesitation… there’s just no doubting that he meant it. and it’s been quite honestly eating at you ever since… the memory slipping inbetween casual moments wherein you think seojun is picking jugyeong over you, like when he apologetically ditches you at the convenience store because he’s worried that jugyeong might stay in school until late, or when he hears through the phone that she’s hurt herself just a little bit.

you know it’s petty to think like that sometimes - you were never the me or her type of friend. but when the question and answer presented itself to your face in such an explicit manner such as a truth game, you can’t help the way the scene replays in your mind at every vacant space.

yeah, you may be important to him, but this is all you’ll ever be - a close friend. a buddy. and with love over friendship, you wonder how much until he’s willing to give you up for someone that could make his heart melt.

…and just like that, you’ve let unwanted thoughts fill your mind once again.

“ah! right,” you break the silence when he grabs the now empty cup from your hand and disposes of it in the trash can along with his, and then you wait until he’s back before you continue, “that lip gloss you were looking for, i found a shop that had a stock of it left.”

so then you tell him that you bought it, looking a little too proud for someone who’d actually turned the web upside down searching all over for the damn pricey makeup item, like you aren’t currently on the verge of dropping out of school next semester because there’s no one to pay for it…

but then your stomach twists a little when you remember that you’ve yet to bring the matter up with him and ask him for help, which you plan on doing tonight.

anyway, you rummage through the contents of your bag for the said item saying, “tell gowoon it’s a present from me too.”

seojun looks surprised. “gowoon? wait, that’s not—i already got her a present though.”

you look up at him. “then… why… were you looking for this?”

and then seojun swallows, looks slightly embarrassed when he explains that he’d actually been searching for it because jugyeong seemed to really want it when they were at the mall but it was sold out everywhere they looked. but then he trails off and looks at you, doesn’t fail to notice the way your shoulders slump, so he clears his throat and says, “i’ll give it to gowoon. she’ll love it. especially if it’s from yo—”

“no,” you interrupt before you resume searching for the item in your bag to hide the disappointment in your face. “do with it what you want.”

there’s a brief awkward silence because seojun feels bad, but he tries to make it better with, “hey, but you’re amazing though. it was really hard to find…” but then he unintentionally starts doing the opposite as he invites your jealousy further in when he continues with, “jugyeong would be jealous. she’s really into makeup, y’know. as in, she’s going to enroll in makeup classes.”

seojun continues rambling, but you choose not to pay all ears because it’s all jugyeong this, jugyeong that. you don’t even need to look to know that there’s a dumb smile plastered on his face as he talks about his favorite topic, unaware of the torment he’s putting you through, so you pretend to still be searching for the item just so you don’t have to see that until -

“…really expensive though. remember that cafe i used to work in? my boss was looking to hire. i introduced her.”

you feel your heart jump at this and he’s surprised by how quickly your head shoots up at his news. “you… got her the job?”

seojun nods hesitantly when you don’t look happy with his decision, and he’s curious why so he waits for you to speak, until more seconds have passed by and the only thing you respond with is a laugh. by the way your chest is aching you’re not supposed to be finding this funny, but you do anyway. and so the boy watches you in confusion. “what?”

what’s funny is the universe’s way of letting you know it hates you - how extra intent it’s been these days to show you its longest finger and how you came here thinking you could maybe catch a break from that, or at best, be relieved of some burden, but now you’re feeling the exact opposite of comforted - like an utter fool - from how many times you’ve already been let down.

“ah, nothing, just…” you smile. “just, why are you still doing this?”

seojun’s expression falters a bit, unsure what you mean, but he may have an idea. “doing what?”

you shrug, trying to find the words to say without hating the way you’ll sound like. “i don’t know… asking jugyeong out on dates? getting her makeup? a part-time? everything?”

but you don’t have to elaborate because seojun knows what you mean by ‘everything’ - as in, all the times he’d unnecessarily gone out of his way for the girl - because he’s always been aware of it himself, knows he’s only setting himself up for heartbreak… just never acknowledged it. “i mean… jugyeong has a boyfriend now. don’t you think you should leave these to him?”

there’s no way suho hadn’t already offered to find jugyeong a part-time, just like he had for you in case he said seojun couldn’t. he’d probably even gone as far as offered to pay for her classes himself. suho’s exactly the kind of person to do that.

you see hurt flicker in seojun’s eyes for a moment and you try to swallow your guilt. deep down, you know this is just an excuse for you to get mad at him, because the truth is, this is your jealousy speaking - the side of you that ached to be with him, the part of you that wanted to shake him by the shoulders and tell him to give it up because it’s hurting you seeing him be so hung up on someone else when you’ve been here all along.

but it’s not like it’s his fault. you’re just the same as him - both foolishly stuck in one-sided love. and you know very well that feelings can’t be helped.

he knows you have a point. even so, he tries to reason out: it wasn’t a date. and it was one time. plus, it’s not like friends can’t do those things, not like he’s crossing the line, right?

“…and it’s not my fault her boyfriend’s lacking.”

this causes you to scoff, crossing your arms against your chest. “and so? you’re just going to swoop in every time? fill in the gaps where you think he’s lacking… is that it?”

“no—”

“what are you trying to achieve?” you say pointedly, “plus points?”

“hey!” seojun reacts and he’s looking more offended than ever now by your accusation, blinking at you a couple of times in disbelief. you, of all people, were the person he had least expected to misunderstand him like that. “i do things for her just because… i want to.” because i like seeing her happy, that’s what seojun wanted to say. “i’m—i’m not trying to be her boyfriend. that’s… different.”

but you already knew that. it’s just as he said - this is seojun’s love language. just like it is yours. showing effort, going above and beyond to do nice things for the other person to make them feel cared for, loved. that’s just how he’s always been… to his family, to you, and now, to jugyeong – without expecting anything in return. it’s not like you actually thought he was purposely trying to win the girl’s heart away. you know he’s not the kind of person to do that to someone that is off-limits.

it’s just… today you’re extra emotional, extra fragile, more inclined to say things you don’t actually mean or take everything to heart. anything that can possibly hurt you - no matter how small - has the potential to wreak havoc all over your senses and make you lose your control.

you heave a sigh, give in and say, “i’m sorry… i really didn’t mean to say that.” though there’s still a hell lot of pain and frustration in your heart that you wish you could just… let out.

seojun’s features soften when he hears the sincerity, relieved to know that that was not what you truly thought of him.

“yeah…” he hums, “when you finally find someone you like, i know you’ll understand.”

and with that, the funny ache in your chest deepens as the three-word confession now threatens to come out, fluttering violently against your ribs like birds in a cage and causing more damage to your already weakened emotional state. but no matter how much your eyes are stinging right now, you’re not going to cry in front of him, you think.

but the urge to confess is not like anything before. because it had always been bearable then. (which is why you had managed to convince yourself that you were fine with being just friends.)

but not now, you think. right now it feels like your heart could burst.

yet still… you don’t do it. instead, you offer him a sad smile, clutching the object in your hand tighter. “right… what do i know?”

so then silence lays thick in the air with unspoken words.

“but, seojun,” you begin, “i’m pretty sure suho’s already a good boyfriend to jugyeong, you know.”

like suho’s definitely not lacking like seojun claims he is. even though the two have been keeping their relationship a secret, it’s not hard to tell that suho is madly inlove with the girl, and there’s no doubt that he’s already treating her as he should, maybe even beyond that. and seojun needs to see past his resentment to accept that - otherwise he’s just fooling himself.

and so that’s what you tell him.

but then seojun doesn’t know what he’s more annoyed by: the bitter pills you’ve been forcing him to swallow, or you defending suho like this. not to mention how he’s been seeing you act all buddy-buddy with the guy lately and how much it irked him to the bone every time, still thinks suho doesn’t deserve either of your friendship after everything. only he hasn’t confronted you about it. because he knows it’s not his life to control.

but there’s still another reason why seojun’s bothered by your rekindled friendship with the other man, as if the first one wasn’t already enough to get him boiling. no matter how much he’s tried to ignore it, every now and then it nags at him.

“you… since when were you and suho close anyway?” seojun asks as calmly as possible, and you look at him like this isn’t the point, and you’re thinking you’re not in the mood for this conversation because you already know it’s not going to end well, especially when you’re still not even done nursing your heart from earlier’s punches.

“why? are you going to tell me to stop being friends with him?”

seojun nods. “o, that’s right… but you wouldn’t listen anyway because you’re stubborn.” and then he pauses, hesitates, before he goes, “but how do you… think jugyeong would feel?”

i mean, you already knew he was against it, but you didn’t expect that this would be his reasoning and somehow you find this even more disappointing. of course he just likes her that much… “how would she feel?” you throw the question back at him. “so… you think jugyeong can have you, but suho can’t—”

“no, no, that’s not what i’m saying!” seojun shakes his head and frowns, and then again, he’s contemplating whether or not it’s necessary to even let you know, so it takes a long pause of silence before he finally goes, “jugyeong thinks suho likes you, you know.”

and you’re completely taken aback by this, just another thing that stirs up a whirlwind inside you when you’ve already had enough of that for the night. “w- what?”

“i mean—thought. she thought he liked you before they started…” seojun mumbles, “but i think she still gets bothered by it. just… i thought you should be aware of it.”

you take a moment to process this, try to figure out what to do with the information, and then you realize that seojun had already mentioned this to you then… back when you asked him why jugyeong had been crying the night before - he just didn’t specifically say it was you. “did she tell you why?”

yes, and seojun remembers it very clearly from how many times that specific line from jugyeong had played in his mind over and over again in the past few days.

“no.” seojun darts his eyes away from you and turns to lean back against the railing before he’s side-glancing at you. somehow, you feel like you’re being judged.

“it’s stupid,” he adds later on, and you can’t help the ugly feeling that bubbles in your stomach at this comment. something about it and the way he looked at you makes a part of you feel like you should be offended, even though you’re more than half percent sure that he probably did not mean it the way that part of you feels he did. maybe you’re just overthinking.

so you try to shake the feeling off. “so? what did you tell her?”

“well, what else… that it’s impossible. suho had always only seen you as a friend anyway.” and then he says the next part teasingly: “also that she shouldn’t worry about you at all, because you have the worst taste in men.”

something inside you clicks, and you finally understand why.

it’s true. all your exes had been questionable. you had a habit of dating jerkish guys you handpicked yourself, guys you knew you’d least get attached to, like men who had really bad sense of humor or those who couldn’t even take it upon themselves to walk you home at night or atleast text you to ask if you’d gotten home okay - and every single one of them seojun had been there to criticize.

not that dating was a problem to you or that you hated yourself. just that, you’ve always been too blinded by your unrequited feelings for the man in front of you to like anyone else that way or even let yourself enjoy a long-term relationship, so you settled with short ones that gave you temporary enjoyment.

commitmentaphobe, that’s what seojun often called you, and you’re already used to him bashing your poor relationship choices that this isn’t new to you anymore.

and so that’s not what bothered you.

you ask, “did suho tell you that?”

“tell me what?”

“that he’d always only seen me as a friend.”

seojun frowns as he looks at you. he’s trying to gauge the expression on your face to see where you’re at, to figure out why it matters to you if suho only saw you as a friend, but finds that it’s devoid of emotion. blank. “no?” he says, truthfully but hesitantly, “i mean… it’s just a given, isn’t it?”

you feel as though your chest had been stabbed when your heart finally snaps at this. tonight, seojun had unknowingly stretched your heart thin and this was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

but it’s not all his doing. you’ve been forced to endure a lot of things in a span of two weeks and it was your mistake for thinking coming here would give you the relief you needed.

seojun hadn’t even said anything wrong. in fact, he had been good to you all throughout your friendship. all this time, everything has been just you falling victim to your own idiotic feelings for him. sure, his obliviousness could get annoying sometimes, but again, it’s mostly because you were just good at concealing your feelings.

in the end, this was all entirely your fault - yet what you’re about to do is pin it all on him because you’re tired and selfishly want out, and you’re too much of a coward to ever consider an honest confession as an option.

maybe you don’t want to be his friend anymore.

this shouldn’t be the type of decision anyone should make on one of their worst nights, but your mind has been throwing a million things at you at once, leading you to question everything including your friendship with seojun, and your heart is currently feeling too many emotions at once as well to even be able to decide what feels like the right thing to do.

truly, you couldn’t ask for a better friend to you than seojun. he had never done anything to make you feel unimportant at all, but this is you finally acknowledging that your feelings made you greedy, that you had been foolish for ever thinking you could be content with just being friends, and him not being able to reciprocate has given you feelings of still not being enough and finally you’ve decided that you can’t bear them anymore, and that perhaps seojun deserves better than someone like you.

you know it’s not easy to get rid of feelings for somebody, but it’s not impossible either. you just surely haven’t been trying your best, because there had always been a tiny part of you that didn’t want to. but now that you finally do, you realize that you’d only fail in trying if seojun was always next to you.

“y/n,” seojun breaks the silence with a soft voice, and when you see the horrified look on his face, that’s when you realize that tears have already fallen from your eyes before you could even stop them.

he takes his steps towards you and reaches out, but you immediately back away and he looks as though you’ve physically hit him. the panic in his eyes and his loss for words can be understood - this is the first time he has ever seen you cry (apart from when you’d lost seyeon), and immediately he puts this at the top of the list of absolute worst things he’ll make a point never to see again. but he doesn’t even know what he’s said wrong…

you swallow the lump in your throat and finally put an end to his confusion when you say, “you just can’t wrap your head around the possibility that i can be anything more than a friend, can you?”

seojun freezes, eyes wide and pleading. the pain that’s etched on your look scares him, and the weight in your chest only worsens at the sight of the distress on his face because you don’t think he deserves to be on the receiving end of this.

“you must think,” you continue, “that just because you don’t find me attractive means no one else does.”

seojun wants to say no. no. no. no. but he can’t seem to bring himself to do it because it feels like anything he says will be wrong, and he’s afraid it’ll only break you further. he’s completely clueless as to how to comfort you because this was something he has never had to deal with before. “y/n, that’s not it—”

“you don’t have to lie,” you cut him off. “i know you don’t see me as a woman. you may not be aware, but you make it so painfully obvious sometimes.”

seojun doesn’t argue against that, doesn’t really know how to, only settles his eyes on the ground in guilt, thinking he must have messed up really bad for you to let him see you cry like this. and in public too.

“and i guess i never really told you my type,” you say with a chuckle, “but i… really like caring men,” you continue. “you know, the type who would go out of his own way for me… and thoughtful enough to remember what i like and… i like when they know how to make me laugh, too… and, they have to be faithful, of course,” you smile, “or else it wouldn’t really last, right?”

vague, but you think this is the closest to a confession you’ll allow yourself to give before letting go.

to seojun, it feels like he had just been struck by lightning, realizing this was the complete opposite of what he had known about you all along, but he still doesn’t know what it entirely means. and so he’s looking at you like he’s still trying to make sense of all of this, but you don’t find yourself wanting to wait to hear what he has to say next.

you bring your hand up to your face to feel the wetness of your cheeks before finally wiping the tears away as you exhale, “anyway.”

“y/n—”

“it’s late. i’m sorry for meeting you out here, but i’ll go,” you say as you take a step and grab one of his cold hands to slip the lip gloss in. “goodnight, seojun. take care.”

you don’t sit with seojun at lunch in school the next day.

and the day after that.

and the day after.

part six

#true beauty #true beauty headcanons #han seojun x reader #lee suho x reader #hwang inyeop #cha eunwoo #seojun #suho #han seojun #lee suho #hwang in yeop #idk if im happy with this #seojun x reader #han seojun imagine #lee suho imagine #suho x reader #tbhc

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tearsona · 4 years

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true beauty | h.c. with fem!reader | part one

a/n: i’ve mentioned in a previous (now deleted) post that i enjoyed watching the drama (literally my comfort k-drama) but i didn’t like the love triangle bc i loved both suho and seojun so…why not make it a love square with a lot of angst but a happy ending for everyone right right…or not. idk. anyway this is a very self-indulgent all-over-the place h.c. series to make me feel better so don’t expect it to be any less cheesy or k-drama feely…

warning: same heavy themes from the true beauty drama (such as seyeon’s death, bullying, dysfunctional family, etc.)

before everything: you, seyeon, seojun, and suho became the bestest friends in school six years ago because of your similar love for music and, yes, you were the only girl, but you got along with them just fine.

almost everyone in your school knew all about that friendship - popular, you could call it - because each of you had an interesting personality and was known for many things. plus you guys were pretty much inseparable.

y’all loved each other very much like brothers and sister. got each other’s back like that. you ate lunch together, hung out at suho’s after school, wrote and played music together, even bought matching bracelets, etc.

all four of you were very talented. you and suho mostly songwrote and played the instruments, while seyeon and seojun did most of the singing especially as aspiring k-pop idols. each of you could do a bit of everything though.

you had a different dynamic with each of them, like, for example, you and seojun showed your love for each other through playfulness and constant bantering; you and seyeon though, were much different, because seyeon was the most sentimental and softest of all so, in general, you had a very sweet and wholesome friendship with him; you and suho almost had a similar friendship with seojun’s with the occasional bantering, but you could get serious the most with suho because your problems at home made you relate with each other and as the only girl, you found him seeking some type of motherly affection from you, while you found a lot of protective comfort from him every time shit went down at home.

and you could count on zero hands the amount of times you’d let other people see you cry, even with your best friends, but okay, in front of suho, at times, you allowed yourself to...

but these all lasted until that incident that broke your friendship seemingly beyond repair. everything had been going perfectly fine until the day before seyeon’s death, when you had fought with him for the very first time, said some hurtful words before the rumors broke out, and up to now, you still haven’t forgiven yourself for having your last memory with him be a bad one.

upon finding out the news, all three of you ran to meet each other but when you got there, seojun and suho had already been fighting - and that was the last of everything.

though you never blamed suho for seyeon’s death, he himself, along with seojun, did, hence he stopped hanging out with you and answering your calls, isolated himself from not just his friends, but from everyone else as well.

you and seojun remained friends though, but it took you awhile to restore the old friendship you had as it felt wrong at first. you witnessed as he started getting himself involved in very loud and often violent fights for no reason, and he’d also stopped pursuing his dream of becoming a singer.

you could say everything pretty much changed.

until jugyeong came.

you and suho still come to school very diligently and even get high grades, just not together anymore. seojun though, comes to school very rarely now and hangs out with chorong and the other kids during school hours instead. honestly, if you haven’t been stopping him from doing it, he would’ve already dropped out of school. you’ve already given up trying to get him to attend more regularly or even keep up with his grades though.

sometimes you answer his homeworks for him. not that he makes you do them, in fact, he’s against it because you really don’t have to since he doesn’t care about his grades at all. but you argue that if he doesn’t atleast get any score above zero on anything, he’d fail multiple classes and get kicked out.

you see each other after school almost everyday.

on the other hand, you also witness as suho slowly opens himself up to the new girl. sure, he’s still moody as heck, nobody can still truly understand him, but this is the first time in years you’ve seen him smile again, even letting himself eat with other people at lunch and what was that you heard? he had his own study group?

it warms your heart from afar, but deep down, you wish it was you with him instead because you miss him a lot.

like A LOT.

but there’s nobody else to tell, not even seojun - even though you’ve grown so much more comfortable with each other now. you can’t, because he still bears a lot of resentment for the other man that you try your best not to mention his name at all anymore, because it’ll only pain you to hear such harsh words from your best friend about someone you’d both once treated like family and still care for... so you have no choice but to bottle it up.

anyway, seojun comes to school one day and takes notice of suho’s friendship with the new girl, and it’s a curious sight. it doesn’t take him long to conclude that suho likes her.

because he can’t stand it and thinks his ex-best friend doesn’t deserve to be the slightest bit happy at all, he decides to play with jugyeong in order to rob suho of that happiness.

so he starts coming to school more frequently now.

and you know what he’s up to because he had no shame telling you when he first came up with it, and you were, and still are, completely against it, so you’re always scolding him over his petty game every time a fight arises between him and suho because, secretly, you’re all for the concept of suho finally finding happiness again.

also because you keep finding yourself responsible of being the one to come in between, before their arguments can get too heated (like the first time when they almost beat each other up in the middle of the cafeteria) and it’s exhausting on your part.

but seojun is stubborn.

it pains you as you watch the last bits of hope of rekindling your friendship left disappear as the two grow hating each other more, competing for the girl’s attention in front of everyone. it was atleast better and a whole lot quieter when they remained ignoring each other.

and also as you watch seojun pay attention to you less... and, well, did i already mention you had feelings for the guy? oops.

for three years now.

i mean, you’d already found him attractive ever since, but that attraction unfortunately grew into something deeper. at first, you thought you were just in-friend-love with him, enjoying the friendship you had that was full of play fights and inside jokes, but you found yourself craving it every time he wasn’t there and it made sense to admit to yourself that they were real romantic feelings, and being in-friend-love was just something you made up.

you’ve been good at keeping it a secret from everyone else though. i mean, you’ve always been good at keeping everything in or holding yourself together, it’s scary sometimes.

anyway, not that you hang out less now, you still do it often it’s just, y’know, the girl’s name gets mentioned more often than anything now and, okay, maybe you do hang out less than you admit because his attention has become so divided now... though you know that he doesn’t really have feelings for her and that it’s all just a childish game he’ll eventually get tired of, it doesn’t make you feel better...

because... what’s the difference? he flirts with her like he actually likes her and everyone talks about them like they’re a couple, like, ouch...

plus you do sometimes feel out of place, especially when the boys are fighting in front of you and jugyeong’s in between and you’re just... that fourth person on the side that could walk away unnoticed.

you feel sorry for jugyeong though, so you’re always coming to her to apologize, like, poor girl did not sign up for this...

anyway, then comes the school outing…

part two

#true beauty #han seojun #lee suho #lim jugyeong #han seojun x reader #lee suho x reader #true beauty headcanons #cha eunwoo #hwang inyeop #moon gayoung #team suho #team seojun #suseo #tbhc

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tearsona · 3 years

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true beauty | h.c. with fem!reader | best friend!seojun headcanons (bonus)

a/n: *taps mic* is this thing still on. hi?? this was supposed to be a little something to keep things /fun/ while waiting for the last chapter but erm this has been sitting in my drafts for too long and i only got to finish it now. anyway pls have this for now!! ALSO this is connected to and a bit more all over the place than the series i've been writing, pls don't get confused!! past tense bc seojun and mc are currently on friend breakup lol. but i wanted to share a bit more about their friendship since the fic has been focused on tension between them so. if u're still here supporting my fic seriously thank u!!

we already know this but your friendship with seojun mostly consisted of bickering and messing around. compliments disguised as insults (because they were less embarrassing that way), i-bet-i-could-finish-this-first's (then winner gets a wish), pranks, etc. laughing til your stomachs hurt. lots of fun tbh. the kind that got you kicked out of cinemas or made old couples that passed by wish they were young again. your camera roll would pretty much be filled with all of these goofy moments you liked to go through whenever you needed a laugh.

seojun loved being annoying. would take advantage of his height, steal things from your grasp and hold them out of reach… always had random urges to tease you or push you over the edge especially if you were engrossed in something else which always. ended in him getting his ass beat but he’d be giggling through it whilst you’re trying to keep a straight face :-))

hanging out at his house!! yours wasn’t the best place to be in so it was always his. sharing a bowl of ramen, watching tv, or just lounging in the living room - you always made yourself at home. the desk in the corner was your study spot and if you were tired after school sometimes you'd fall asleep right there or if you were stubborn he'd drag you to the couch himself. then you'd always wake up with a blanket over you and sometimes a stuffed animal he claimed was his sister's tucked between your arms.

sometimes you'd wake up way past dinner and his mom would already be home... seojun didn’t like ruining your slumber even though you found it embarrassing whenever you overslept. but his family didn't mind plus the dark wasn't a problem since your house wasn’t far and he was there to walk you home anyway. (his mom made sure he did.)

seojun sometimes snapped photos of you asleep to make fun of you with ("wow, is this really you? i… wow. how do you look so angelic when you sleep? here - look, you almost got me foole—mpffh!") or make memes out of but tbh he did it cause he thought you looked cute. (though he wouldn’t admit that even to himself.)

reading stuff out loud and asking him questions randomly while you were studying on your own so he'd also remember them. nine times out of ten he answered with something dumb (remember when he thought spy and mafia were the same thing. or when he said visage meant visual age lol) and sometimes his confidence would be convincing enough that you end up questioning what you thought you already knew (“no that’s n—wait a minute, is it…?”) and scrambling for your notes again. but surprisingly?? you found that this was how most of the terms stuck with you. which helped you ace your exams in the end.

‘are you awake?’ 'what are you up to?' texts at night. or calls, if seojun was bored out of his mind. you're a terrible replier, most of the time you couldn't be bothered, but if it was him you could spend hours in bed just talking about random things or sending each other funny, relatable stuff (probably tiktoks) until you fell asleep. though there were still times when not even him could get in the way of your alone time and he respected that.

also, little things that showed you how much seojun cared like, him carrying your bag if you had too much stuff, always opening the bag of chips or. bottled water before handing it to you, shielding your face from the sun if you fell asleep on the bus, standing in the way so you didn't get crushed if the ride was too crowded (it took a lot of strength sometimes), texting you to wait for him if you were to go alone somewhere at night, throwing you one of his hoodies before he walked you home from his house in case you got cold :,)

and so much of those ‘i thought you’d like this’ or ‘i thought you’d be hungry so i brought you food.’ he knew you very well. like which type of snacks you craved and when, how much sugar you liked in your drink, your favorite side dishes (if he didn’t like it that much he gave you his), your habits and pet peeves (if someone was tapping their pen too loud he’d be like “hey, could you turn that down!” or like if someone made you repeat yourself he’d go, “she said ____.” however, if it was one of those jerks you were dating he just let them piss you off and you'd even catch him snickering to himself.)

he loved the praise he always got afterwards too, like being babied by his mom or being told he was the best for remembering. literally always seeking compliments to be honest. always looked too proud of himself, would go, "aren't you lucky to have me?" just to hear you say what would i do without you? one more time.

but you also loved doing things for him. paid attention to the things he said and made mental notes to do him these favors he never really asked you for. if you’d gone out of your way to do something for him you'd spare him the details of your efforts so he didn’t feel guilty. the happiness on his face whenever you got him something he wanted or eased his troubles always genuinely made up for it.

in the rare times you got hurt or sick, seojun dropped everything to tend to you even if it was minor. like that one time you accidentally burned your hand in his kitchen, he ran to your side faster than you could react, pulled you to the sink and took care of it as if you couldn’t ("idiot, you should've been more careful!"), or that one time you were feeling under the weather, you hadn't meant to make it a big deal, literally only mentioned it in passing plus it was late at night you didn't think he would be able to do anything but then later he was asking you to come out because he was waiting outside your gate with medicine :-(

always worrying about him because he was frequently causing trouble in and out of school and had people chasing after him but. he remained stubborn about those things :/ so you always had to take care of his bruises from fights or injuries from riding his motorcycle, help him out if the guys went looking for him, or put them in their place if you had to - you were good at making those boys shut up - and seojun would be snickering behind you while you did so.

"ah, my best friend is so cool. i raised you so well."

"don't talk to me. i'm telling your mom." rip.

being close with seojun's mom and sister!! watching shows together while folding laundry!! girls talk!! being treated like one of the family!! it felt nice to have someone look after you as if you were their own daughter considering your relationship with your own parents.

seojun always whined whenever they teamed up with you against him but, deep down, he loved seeing the three girls in his life get along so well and always watched with a fond smile.

please, if seojun wasn't there, sometimes his mom would half-jokingly call you her daughter-in-law. also probably had that as your name in her phone. (remember in the drama when she said she'd love seojun to have a girlfriend? she'd tell you that all the time.)

gowoon also usually didn't bother correcting people whenever they referred to you as seojun's girlfriend - she was tired of people in her grade asking her to set them up with him whenever they found out they were siblings anyway. (you knew all too well how irritating that could get so.)

k-dramas with the three of them in the living room and fawning over the leads. once, during one of those times seojun went like, "yeah right, he must have set the bar high for you, y/n?" and you immediately got what he meant by this sarcastic remark, sent him glares though he’d already moved on to scolding his sister on the other hand about how she was still too young to think about relationships. (they're literally one year apart, help.)

but his mom caught on and she was like, "oh yeah, how are things going between you and your boyfriend, y/n?"

after exchanging a look with seojun, who was attentive again, you said, "really good so far, he's sweet, um, he treats me so well. um, we're actually just getting to know each other..."

and then seojun muttered under his breath, "liar."

but everyone heard it, so to your satisfaction, gowoon threw at her brother one of his underwear while their mom told him to stop antagonizing and to, instead, get a girlfriend, which seojun replied to with, "mom, it's hard when everyone thinks your son is boyfriend material... i have too many admirers..."

and so that was your turn to scoff. "oh, yeah... your son seems to be getting chased after a lot these days,” seojun’s eyes widened at this, "huh, maybe they're into bad boys?”

anyway, seojun hated every single guy you got in a relationship with, for valid reasons. it never made sense why you dated that way, you were smart but always went for the most questionable men. it was disappointing - you didn’t seem like the type to treat this somehow as a game but at one point he just came to accept it as long as you didn't get your heart broken (which seemed to never happen anyway so…). though if you were dating someone there was never a time where he didn't make it obvious that he was against them.

and since he couldn’t stand these boys, you made a point never to put them in the same room together as much as you could help it just to save yourself the headache. (whether he did it on purpose or not, seojun always appeared more like the boyfriend than the real one and it just made things painfully awkward. which was sometimes the goal, tbh.)

you were in the bathroom when he’d accidentally seen a notification from your then boyfriend asking if you were free the coming weekend, so when you came out, before you could reach your phone he was like, “hey, we haven’t gone to the movies in a while. how 'bout saturday? my treat."

“your treat? um, hell yeah... oh. oh wait—”

“good. saturday then. i’m excited. saturday, OK?”

guys having a crush on you but never hitting you up because even though they knew seojun wasn't your boyfriend, they were too intimidated by him :/ (but if only they knew. that this guy was an actual softie who loved getting head rubs or falling asleep on his friend’s lap and vibed to mino and zico in his leopard underwear and kept a stuffed animal beside him every night... maybe this wouldn’t be the case.)

on the other hand, you were used to seojun’s admirers trying to get on your good side or reaching up to you to ask you for his number or what kind of chocolates he liked. or if you could set them up with him. and if seojun was dating someone you were never even able to entertain the idea of hating on them (as petty as it sounds) like he did with yours because seojun had high standards so they were all nice :/

petty arguments often ending in silent treatments because both of you refused to back down. your ‘fights’ were never so serious or bad enough to bend your friendship, neither of you ever said words to purposely hurt the other, just that you could be so stubborn sometimes.

but these things usually didn't last long, and happened rarely, most of the time the tension just disappeared naturally or ended with one of you apologizing first followed by the other. if it was too annoying to ignore, seojun's friends would take it upon themselves to have you make up. (locking you in the same room together worked 100% of the time.)

being each other’s go-to for when you couldn’t decide on stuff or needed advice on anything because you were always honest when it came to those things. questions like, which shade looked better on you? was this too expensive? which photos were instagram-worthy? (he’d be tilting his phone and all to look at each of them from every angle btw.) he also valued your opinion so most of the time he went with whatever you thought was good.

seojun was a very good listener. he was always willing to hear out all your rants and stories (even if he knew nothing about the stuff), adopted your enthusiasm when you talked about things you loved and asked questions that fueled you on, or sometimes even got mad more than you did if it was something to be angry about. he treated your problems as if they were his own and was always willing to help you out in solving them. but he also didn’t hesitate to call you out on your poor decisions or behavior if he had to. you did the same for him.

but generally you were never actually expressive when it came to the real extent of your negative feelings, like if you were hurt or deeply affected by something that happened, you didn’t show it. pissed off was the most you could let on because you felt that anything more than that could be seen as weak, which you avoided. you had this ‘but seriously it’s fine, don’t worry’ attitude that was convincing even to seojun, who was supposed to know you more than anyone, so he was shocked the first time he learned about your family situation. but this was something you needed to work on, not his. the good thing was, even if he could never tell when you were sad or anything like, he was always able to provide you with the comfort you needed just by being himself. :-)

on the other hand, if seojun wasn’t okay you’d know immediately because you’d find him zoning out and quieter than usual. usually if you asked him if there was anything wrong he’d tell you about it though sometimes reluctant, because unlike you, he was more open to talk about these things (atleast with you, he could be). whether it be advice or just an ear and emotional support, you were there to give him just exactly what he needed at the moment.

this was a friendship far from perfect, but it was definitely more than just the fun and games that met the eye. clearly one of mutual love and genuine care for each other. and the best and most enviable thing about it was that you were both lucky to have found another person you could always run to, literally trust to have your back no matter what happens... someone you could call home, as cheesy as that sounds :,)

#wanted to post this before going to bed #goodnight if anyones on rn :0 #han seojun x reader #tbhc #true beauty #han seojun #lee suho #hwang inyeop #cha eunwoo #lee suho x reader #also if anyone still wants to know when the next chapter will be #i still dunno but college will be over next week so #thats that #true beauty headcanons #moon gayoung #im jukyung #lim jugyeong #hwang in yeop #kdrama

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tearsona · 4 years

Text

true beauty | h.c. with fem!reader | part seven

a/n: hello! thank you for waiting patiently for part 7! if you’re still here i love you <3 i’m sorry if the formatting is especially wonky in here, but there’s a part where i inserted song lyrics? and i didn’t like the way it looked with blockquote so lol. as long as u get the story ig. anyway pls let me know what u think! :-)

part one | part six

exam week finally arrives. the air is heavy with both anxiety and determination all around; corridors are almost pin-drop silent though more packed with students than the cafeteria during lunchtime. but if anyone paid attention closely, they’d notice the now much more frequent and friendlier but subtle interactions, the random bickering between you and suho during breaks despite the tense and studious atmosphere of the school.

all the stiffness and awkwardness between you have finally disappeared. you’re now much more yourself around him, the same way he’s returned to the old protective friend that he was to you in the past. only, there are times when you can’t help but hear his voice in suho’s nagging - a voice that also often warned you not to skip meals or stay up all night studying.

suho knows all too well that you’re the type of person to do that, and it’s even more worrying now that you have three jobs to combine that with, so he sometimes helps you out in delivering boxes around his area to make the job lighter for you or stays at the comic store during your shift just so he can pay close attention to how you’ve been taking care of yourself.

it’s almost embarrassing how you spend most of your time in there studying your ass off while he reads his comic on the other side of the room as if you’re not both just taking the same set of exams. sometimes it’s tempting to slack off yourself, but you have to constantly remind yourself that suho is just naturally gifted with brains, and you’re not.

this time though, you’ve been struggling to keep your eyes open. you keep dozing off just to jerk back awake every time your head slips from your hand, and yet you stubbornly refuse to give in to your sleepiness.

the movements steal suho’s attention away from his comic and the sight makes him sigh, so he makes his way towards you and snatches the book from your grasp, startling you awake, “let me have that.”

“hey!” you protest as he further raises the object away from your reaching hands, “i was studying.”

sliding another chair to sit next to you, he says, “i’ll quiz you then.”

and so he does, and you get every question correct as he’d expected, and by the end of the review suho is eyeing you scoldingly. “why are you still studying so hard when you already know everything?”

you bite your lip and say truthfully, “i just… i’m not that confident yet.”

suho sighs and slams the book shut before nodding his head towards the couch. “why don’t you take a nap? i’ll take over here for now.”

on the other hand, jugyeong finally decided to take up her sister’s offer to pay half the tuition of her makeup classes and enrolled just so she can have a way of coping with the breakup. thankfully, seojun is there to make that easier by being next to her 24/7, helping her review for the exam and letting the girl use his face as canvas.

the strange thing is, when jugyeong is applying his makeup, gentle fingers dabbing color onto his pretty lips, other hand keeping his face steady by the chin, occasionally dropping compliments here and there like wow, you have pretty lashes or this shade looks perfect on you, or when he’s peeking his eyes open and jugyeong’s face is adorably scrunched in concentration, seojun finds that his heart isn’t fluttering as he feels it should be. he doesn’t overthink it though.

but perhaps it’s because the heartbreak of losing his most important friend is just too overpowering and all-consuming that his heart is unable process anything else other than that such as his feelings for the girl. sure, he’s been through this a couple of times - the loss of a friend. hell, he’s gone through worse than a mere falling out. but that doesn’t make this hurt any less.

there’s nothing quite like losing you after all.

and for someone who’s never actually been through a bad breakup, this sure as hell feels like one.

but whether his feelings have changed for jugyeong or not, seojun still cares a lot about the girl and genuinely enjoys her company. being the selfless person that he is, he’s made it a point not to let her see you and suho together as much as he can control to prevent her feelings from getting hurt, so whenever it happens he’ll divert her attention away from you, or when something from their conversation suddenly reminds her of the guy, seojun will quickly come up with something else to talk about.

this afternoon, you’re on your delivery shift and one of the customers happens to be jugyeong’s family, so now you’re standing in front of her as you’re mirroring each other’s stunned faces at the unexpected encounter.

you’re not exactly friends with the girl - more like acquaintances honestly, but both of you know very well that you’re tied to each other in complicated ways, which explains the awkward tension currently surrounding the two of you. however, you notice that the look on her face is more of fear than surprise.

“jugyeong…? i didn’t know you lived here,” you crack the silence with an embarrassed laugh, and the girl winces at the mention of her name. “ah… you must be shocked to see me like this, huh?”

without a word, the other uncomfortably takes the boxes from you and hands you a few crumpled bills as payment. your face falls at the no response, and you blink a couple of times as you wonder: does jugyeong hate you?

“um, i’ll get going, i guess,” you say awkwardly as you pocket the cash. you turn around to get on your bike but, all of a sudden, cold trembling hands are gripping your wrist, making you whip your head around in surprise.

“y/n,” jugyeong finally utters, “c- can you please not… tell other people… about this?”

“tell them what? hey, are you okay?” you say as your eyes widen in both concern and confusion at the pleading look on her now pale face. “you don’t look well, seriously.”

“please…” jugyeong implores, “don’t tell the kids that i look like this without makeup.”

your shoulders slump at that, and you frown at the desperation in her voice. “is that why you…” you leave the rest of your words hanging in the air.

“i know i look different, but if the kids find out–”

“no you don’t, you look the same to me,” you interrupt. “pretty either way, i mean…” you offer a small smile, putting a reassuring hand on top of hers that’s still on your wrist, and you watch as the other girl’s features soften, but not entirely. “i won’t tell anybody if you don’t want to. i wasn’t going to anyway.”

jugyeong’s eyes begin to gloss with tears at the sincerity in your voice, but before you can ask about it, you’re already being enveloped in a hug. “thank you, really. i’m serious. thank you, y/n,” she repeats the words over and over, and you’re genuinely confused as to why she seems so relieved at this, the same way she’s surprised at your reaction, because no one has ever seen her bare face and be so casual with it right away, but you don’t intend to pry into the matter any further.

later in the day, jugyeong is in the middle of doing seojun’s eyeliner in his living room when the mention of your name causes the boy’s eyes to shoot open, messing up the application in result and making her groan in annoyance. seojun mutters an apology before the other carefully undoes the mistake with a makeup remover.

“do you really not plan on making up with her?” jugyeong probes, mumbling a don’t move as she lifts his chin up for a better angle.

the boy visibly swallows in discomfort and avoids the question, “you met her?”

jugyeong hums and proceeds to explain how you’d bumped into each other earlier today. “she’s a really sweet girl,” she pauses with a fond smile as she recalls your kindness, “no wonder so many people like her.”

seojun’s eyes are closed but he recognizes the hint of sadness in her voice, yet he can’t seem to change the topic like he usually does. both their chests ache at jugyeong’s words for completely different reasons. “what did you talk about?”

“it’s a secret,” she replies immediately. “now open your eyes.”

the next day is the last of your exams and you can’t wait to get it over with. you’ve worked yourself into the ground this week and the fatigue has finally caught up to you. by the end of the first exam you’ve drained all your energy for the day, and you realize just how much you’ve been neglecting sleep and self-care that you finally decide for once, you want to spend the break recharging instead of pushing yourself further to exhaustion by reading notes.

when seojun reaches the choir room for his nap time, he wasn’t expecting to see you slumped on one of the seats, cheek cushioned by arms resting on the hard wooden seat. he realizes that you’re asleep. at first he contemplates on leaving, but eventually he gives in to the force that continuously tugged at him to stay.

he carefully but hesitantly slides the door close, takes a seat on the row next to yours, and when his eyes finally rest on your figure, he feels his heart being squeezed right then. this is the first time in what feels like forever that he’s been able to look at your face for longer than a few seconds, what with you always running away at the sight of him.

tragic, when his spot used to be next to yours. now you’re just out of reach.

he notes the shadow under your eyes and he can’t help but feel responsible for it - for not being there to help relieve some of that burden or atleast remind you to take care of yourself.

but the peaceful look on your face as you slumber somehow calms him down the longer he stares, and momentarily, he forgets all the regrettable occurrences that have led your friendship to this point, feels a small smile form at his lips and his fingertips tingle at the urge to brush away the strands of hair that fell on your face when the wind hit.

but right when he’s about to stand up, he hears heavy footsteps from outside the room and suddenly the door is being slid open. and when he turns to look, seojun feels his heart deflate as quickly as it had swollen, jaw clenching in both annoyance and disappointment.

it doesn’t feel like he has the right to be angry at the other anymore, and so he can only do nothing but watch as suho does what seojun had been meaning to before he came, pushing away the strands of hair that’s been covering your face before gently tapping on your arm. “y/n, hey, wake up.”

seojun leaves before you can catch sight of him.

“have you ever liked a person your friend liked?”

seojun’s eyes immediately darted to the girl beside him. “what?” he asked in mild surprise, shifting uncomfortably in his bus seat, “did suho say that? w- what did he say? how much did he tell you?”

jugyeong looked at him incredulously. “why are you acting like i’m talking about you?” the girl’s mood changed into excitement upon seeing the guilty look on his face. “is there someone you like?”

“no!” seojun replied defensively before swallowing, “that’s not it.”

sometimes a song can communicate to others feelings you could never find the words for. other times it’s you yourself who needs those moments of clarity, when the brain has yet to comprehend what the heart already knows. for seojun, it may be the latter.

seojun swore he’d never do this in front of an audience again, save for karaoke sessions with friends (and well, maybe that one time when jugyeong promised to grant him a favor if he did), but it’s as if a magnetic force had dragged him up the platform where the musician stood, so now he finds himself singing a song he’d picked off the top of his head in front of a crowd of strangers.

► flower pot - alex (han seojun cover)

you walk toward me from afar

how am i going to express

how much my heart flutters?

one of the things students look forward to the most every start of a school year is seeing the fresh faces - the potential competition, potential outcasts, or potential additions to their own friendship circles. six years ago, you were one of the new kids in seojun’s grade and, naturally, the others felt drawn to you during the first week; they were curious what you were like, where you came from, what your parents did for a living, and so on…

seojun couldn’t care less about any of that. he was happy in his own friend group, and he wasn’t like seyeon who was the type to befriend the new kids. the only time he paid attention to you was when you had introduced yourself in front of the class, and his immediate impression was that you were pretty. but after that, you became just another one of his classmates.

it was a few weeks later when you and seojun first actually got together. he had been the last to come to suho’s house, and he had found you seated on the couch in between his two other friends with suho’s notebook clutched in your hand, much to his confusion. you had been reading suho’s song lyrics and seyeon had a huge smile on his face as you did so until your conversation had been interrupted by seojun’s entrance.

apparently, seyeon had bumped into you that morning and you’d hit it off with him when you discovered that you were both musically inclined (you played some instruments and wrote songs yourself, too), which was why he had decided to bring you over. suho didn’t mind nor did seojun object, and so that was how you spent the rest of that day, and, eventually, the rest of your saturday afternoons - with your three new friends.

you immediately clicked with seyeon, who was naturally sweet and friendly towards everyone, and suho, who was the more reserved type like seojun, but whom you found you had a lot of similarities with. seojun though… not so much. not right away.

your personalities didn’t clash or anything; you talked when you had to and when you did you weren’t rude to each other. however, seojun didn’t make much effort to get closer to you and neither did you. your conversations with him were always a bit stiff, and usually died down immediately.

honestly, it was because your presence made him shy - the way it seemed to just always fill the room. plus, you were pretty and smart. and talented. and sometimes endearing. he just didn’t know how to act around you - he hadn’t quite grown into that person yet.

you stole my heart

from the moment we first met

and gave me an incurable illness

you were walking alone to the bus stop one morning when you’d heard seojun call your name upon his surprise of seeing you in his neighborhood. it was then that you both discovered that you lived just a few blocks from each other.

back then, seojun still rode his bike (not the motor one yet) to school daily, but one day he decided to ditch it just to be with you, with the excuse that it was broken...

and so the initial awkwardness between you eventually left; you finally grew comfortable with each other and it was only natural since you spent majority of each day within each other’s presence. but the time you really started to bond, was when you learned that you shared the same music taste.

it was after you had asked him in curiosity during a bus ride to school what he’d been listening to on his phone, which led to a long discussion of song preferences and artist recommendations.

so ever since then, sharing earbuds on bus rides became your thing.

i wish to be your flowerpot

i pray every day

the first time you made seojun’s heart race, it was when your head had dropped onto his shoulder in the middle of a bus ride home, causing the earbud to fall off his ear and the music to be replaced instead with his thundering heartbeat. the boys’s eyes immediately grew wide and body stiff.

until then it had been just a typical afternoon ride, one where you spent the whole time in comfortable silence save for the songs playing, and seojun hadn’t realized yet that you’d fallen asleep beside him. the rest of the ride, he put all of his attention in being careful and staying still, didn’t want to disturb your slumber or ruin the moment, not even allowing himself any movement as slight as breathing. he’d almost held his breath then.

and when he got home that day, he created an entire playlist.

songs that made him think of you.

from then on, for days, without either of you realizing it, all of seojun’s recommendations had been love songs.

i wish to be your flowerpot

on your windowsill

i don’t care if i can’t talk

seojun wasn’t the first to acknowledge the fact that he liked you. it was seyeon.

it had been two years since he met you and seojun had finally blossomed into a handsome young man; the rest of his body had finally caught up to the gangliness of his limbs, plus he’d already acquired the social skills and confidence of an aspiring idol and, well, a school heartthrob - what with your friend group always attracting a lot of attention from both guys and girls.

out of the four of you at that time, seojun was the most experienced in dating. so he knew what it felt to like like a person.

he just never felt the need to admit or put a label to the stomach butterflies, lump in his throat, heart racing type of feeling that he always got from you, the always thinking about you, the always wanting to be next to you... all that. he was fine enough with the way things were that he didn’t feel the need to ask for more.

but he did often feel the need to prove himself or impress you. especially when you and suho got along a little too well or whenever you complimented the other’s skills. seojun would have to do something to catch your attention somehow, like he’d suddenly introduce you to this artist he’d apparently discovered, or show you a new song he’d learned on the guitar.

and sometimes, fond looks and lingering touches and cheesy compliments would slip out of him before he could even realize it, or at times he’d catch himself smiling over a silly remark from you. sometimes he feared that somebody would catch on to it, but then he’d glance at suho and he’d be relieved to see the same smile on the other’s face.

i don’t care that i can’t ask for anything

all i need is your smile and your care

from time to time

"i’m going on a date,” you suddenly announced in the middle of the comfortable silence, causing suho and seojun’s heads to shoot up from their phones, seojun spluttering a loud ‘what?’ in shock. you repeated your words, later getting slightly offended by the looks on the boys’ faces. “what? am i not allowed to do that?”

“of course, you are,” seyeon said after sparing a quick glance at the others. he was the only one smiling at the news. “with whom?”

you mentioned the name of the boy in your grade, whom you’d already been secretly texting for a week. you told them he’d introduced himself to you sometime ago and had confessed his interest in you, and now he’d asked if you wanted to go out with him next weekend.

“you’re going out with ahn yikyung? that guy?” seojun scoffed, causing you to slump your shoulders.

“why? what’s wrong with him?”

“he’s a prick though,” suho finally spoke. “i used to be in the same class as him.”

you looked at seyeon for confirmation and, much to your disappointment, he nodded. but then you shrugged your shoulders as if unaffected and said, “whatever, i don’t care.”

seyeon asked, “do you like him?”

there is silence as you pondered over the question, while the others waited with full attention. “yeah, i do,” you answered, ‘i mean, i think he’s interesting. and well... he’s attractive.”

seojun snorted, to which you frowned. “you’re hurting my feelings, y’know,” you directed at the boy before turning to the others, “this is the first time a guy has ever asked me out, can’t you atleast be happy for me?”

they went silent at that.

it was the first time seojun had gotten hurt by his then unlabeled feelings for you.

honestly, he hadn’t seen it coming, though he should have. of course, you would one day start going on dates yourself, and eventually be in relationships with guys that weren’t him.

seyeon had actually taken notice of his friend’s mood that had visibly changed since the news. eventually he found the opportunity to sit next to the boy alone, nudging him to get his attention.

“what?” seojun responded with a hint of annoyance, which he’d immediately regret upon seeing who it was.

seyeon stared at the other for a long few seconds as if analyzing him, before letting out a chuckle. and then seojun felt his heart stop at his next words:

“you like y/n.”

but to the very end of the conversation, seojun stubbornly denied it.

he hadn’t intended for anyone to find out, nor had he thought of those feelings as anything serious, but the fact that his friend noticed it meant that they were very much real.

and that it couldn’t go on anymore.

or else, he thought, his feelings would one day turn him greedy. and picking love over friendship meant putting himself at the risk of losing both - and the three of you were just too precious to him. atleast, with just friendship, he could keep you for as long as he wanted... right?

it was at that point when seojun decided that it was time he bid his feelings goodbye.

i’ll be able to see you sleep

for as long as i want

seojun had found excuses to make up for the heart flutters, sweaty palms and stomach flips he felt around you; had convinced himself whenever he craved your presence that he was probably just bored; had somehow turned all the affectionate looks, shy touches, and sweet compliments to stare-downs, headlocks, and teasing remarks. and so on.

for three years, it worked.

only now, seojun is realizing, that it isn’t that he stopped having feelings for you or that he didn’t see you as a woman. he’d just gotten so good at denying those feelings that at one point they’d become unrecognizable. so good actually, that even the idea of anyone liking you eventually seemed impossible to him - and that ended up costing him your friendship.

it took seojun one song to realize all of that.

“you,” seojun begins, stopping just right in front of the other boy. he had stopped suho from leaving by calling out his name from the opposite side of the empty gym. suho’s jaw is clenched as he sighs impatiently, waiting for the other to find his words. “you’ve always had feelings for her, have you?”

the annoyed expression on suho’s face falters just the slightest from the unexpected confrontation, and there is a tense pause before seojun adds, voice now much less intimidating, “i’m talking about y/n.”

a few seconds pass by without a word from suho and the lack of response is all the confirmation seojun needed. he darts his eyes away as he sighs in defeat. all the doleful smiles, jealous glances, the silent fights for your attention then - all of that had passed seojun by without him noticing, and now he hates himself just a tiny bit more than he already does. for figuring it out years late.

“why?” suho finally breaks his silence, “have you finally realized that you’ve liked her all this time?”

“ah, what a day,” you sigh in content, sporting a huge smile on your face as you do so. this is the first time in a while that you’ve felt genuinely happy, now that the weight on your shoulders has lessened by a ton with exams finally over. you nudge your friend by the shoulder as you say, “thanks for letting me treat you.”

suho hums and reciprocates your smile before he replies, “congrats on your first pay.”

you chuckle as you reach the front of your gate, turning so you’re facing each other. “no but really, thanks for everything. you’ve seriously done so much for me.”

again, suho hums in acknowledgement and shoves his hands inside his coat pockets. “goodnight.”

you nod, “goodnight. text me when you get home?”

“i will,” he says, “i’ll leave when you get inside.”

you smile at the gesture, but you don’t move from your spot right away as you allow yourself a moment to gaze at your friend in appreciation. but that unknowingly makes suho’s pulse race the more seconds that tick by, because he can’t help but think, that this moment awfully feels like an ending of a date... and it takes a few seconds before you start to realize the same.

the air changes, and you don’t like the way suho is staring at you.

you don’t like the desire that’s bubbling in your belly as he does so, the way you're feeling your heart stutter as you interpret the look on his eyes as desire, longing, because nobody has ever really looked at you that way, and your heart might just get swayed if you put any meaning to it. so he better leave now, you think, because you’re one heartbeat away from doing something stupid...

but there is a raging conflict inside suho as well, the ache to do something that he knows he can’t, but also the feeling that he might regret it forever if he doesn’t do it - or does. who knows.

but seojun’s words echo in his mind - his you’ve always had feelings for her, have you? and the truth behind it. it’s been bothering suho ever since. been nagging at him the whole day.

and so maybe for once, suho feels like acting on it. maybe he feels like trying. for so long before, he’d kept his feelings bottled in knowing his best friend wanted you the same. but now...

“wait.”

your heart jumps at the unexpected hand on your wrist, and you’ve barely turned back around before suho is already encircling his arm around your waist and leaning in to kiss you.

your initial response is to back away, and you watch as suho’s eyes immediately widen in regret at this, but right when he’s about to loosen his hold on you you decide to go against your better judgment and pull him back by the collar before pressing your lips against his.

seojun watched the whole scene unfold in front of him.

part eight

#true beauty #true beauty headcanons #han seojun x reader #lee suho x reader #hwang inyeop #cha eunwoo #lee suho #han seojun #tbhc #the last parts are unedited if u see any errors look away

959 notes · View notes

tearsona · 4 years

Text

true beauty | h.c. with fem!reader | part six

a/n: took me so long to post this part but it’s finally here <3 i’m also putting down the songs i listened to while writing it, i think the lyrics are very fitting as well if you want to read them… also just imagine the karaoke part in here as the same one in the drama lol. anyway, here goes! lmk what u think :-) (the writing gets sloppier towards the end, i was excited to post it that i didn’t get to reread the last parts so if u see me changing it up after this u know why lol.)

songs:

how do you do - chani (sf9)

starlight - chani (sf9)

rainbow falling - cha eunwoo

part one | part five

the first time seojun sees you after that night, you’re coming in the almost full classroom a little later than usual and it’s rowdy like always; seojun had been lost in his thoughts since he got here and none of his classmates’ antics has been worth his attention so far - not even jugyeong entering the room moments ago. that is until the mention of your name snaps him out of his trance, and he’s almost relieved to see you because he’d already thought you weren’t coming to school today (you usually arrive earlier than him or with him), but his body is still tense as he watches you.

he clears his throat and calls out your name when you near him but it comes out faint, almost goes unheard, and all he gets back is a short glance in his direction before you’re continuing to trudge your way to your seat without a word.

he’d already expected you to still be upset with him, but getting completely ignored is a different thing, stings a lot more than if you had just told him to piss off instead, and now he’s distracted during your morning classes.

all he wants is to fast forward to lunch.

but lunch isn’t what seojun had expected either, and he’s not prepared for the way his heart sinks the moment your shoulder brushes past his as you make your way to your table, you yet again pretending he doesn’t exist. he whips his head around, sees that the seat in front of you is empty, and it’s supposed to be his but he gets the feeling that he isn’t invited to be there today. so he finds himself another spot and barely touches his food.

now seojun is lost. so lost, because he’s never had this problem with you before; has no clue what to do, where your friendship currently stands, doesn’t know what it means when you spend a whole day avoiding him because every misunderstanding you’ve had before had been so trivial that even if you were mad at him, you still ate lunch together though in uncomfortable silence; doesn’t know if he should simply give it time or approach you with an apology, and it’s probably the latter but every time he wills himself to do it, the image of you and your tear-stained cheeks, your shattered expression, flickers through his mind, he gets brief flashbacks of scenes from your last conversation he’s already had memorized by now… and he just can’t do it.

he decides to give you space until he feels you’re ready to talk.

but little does he know that the time will never come because you have no plans on making up with him at all, and he doesn’t realize this until an entire week has already passed by and he’s still holding his breath every time you’re there, waiting for you to finally acknowledge him, just to exhale in disappointment when you still swerve him in the corridor, or dart your eyes away every time it happens to meet his, or take the farthest possible seat on the bus ride home…

(and he’s never noticed until now just how many guys actually harbored a crush on you until his absence gave them the opportunity to make conversation with you in the halls or ask you for ‘math help,’ just for them to end up scurrying away under his piercing stare and he doesn’t mean to do it, really. just that he can’t help but be annoyed, more at himself than anybody, remembering your words from that night…)

and when the realization actually hits, seojun panics, overcome by a sense of helplessness… almost feels like his world is falling apart. you were his person, after all, and the prospect of losing you is just something he’s never considered before.

on the other hand, you can’t say you’ve been fine without seojun either, but atleast you think you’re doing better than you’d expected you would be. you have the upcoming exams to worry about, and soon three part-time jobs to take up the rest of your time and - okay, maybe that actually sounds like hell… but atleast that leaves you almost no room to think about the boy, and you’re grateful for that.

so that’s how the following week goes: delivering boxes of chicken around your neighborhood after school hours, studying for your exams during your shift at the comic store in the evening, and then the rest of the night is spent at home reviewing just a bit more and by midnight you’re passed out. on the weekend, it’s the same - add another part-time being an assistant at a modeling studio, which actually turns out to be more exhausting than you thought but, for now, you think you can handle this.

you couldn’t be more thankful for suho for helping you get two out of three of these jobs, but you also can’t help but find it uncomfortable every time he tries to strike up a conversation with you in school sometimes, unable to shake off your mind what you’d learned from seojun that night. but it doesn’t take as much in you to distance yourself from him as it does with the other guy anyway, obviously because you didn’t interact that much to begin with.

jugyeong and seojun become even closer when seojun decides to retake his former job to work with the girl, and it’s a good way to kill time, he thinks. gives him something else to think about other than you. plus, he likes being around her.

only, he has to deal with having to hear suho’s name from the other over and over - especially when she’s talking about her relationship problems - and frequently has to find ways to cheer her up whenever he senses she’s not in the best mood.

a lot has been troubling her lately, apparently.

“so… you and suho are dating, but kang soojin likes him too. she doesn’t know you’re dating, and you’re worried that telling her will end your friendship, which is why you don’t know what to choose between love and friendship,” seojun states, “that’s what’s going on.”

“ah, right! exactly,” jugyeong nods, “for instance… i mean. for instance. a friend of a friend is having a hard time over that…”

“i thought girls valued sisterhood? love doesn’t last forever,” seojun rolls his eyes, “tell your friend to break up with the guy and strengthen her friendship with her friend.”

“how can my friend break up with the guy she likes?“ jugyeong says in disbelief.

“i don’t know who this jerk is, but it’s his fault for creating this situation! a man who strings girls along isn’t worth the trouble,” he scolds bitterly, “break up with him. just break up with him.”

“he doesn’t string girls along!” jugyeong exclaims defensively. “i mean - according to the friend of a friend…”

seojun sighs, “whatever then.”

later on, the two get off at jugyeong’s stop and she points out the boy’s untied shoelaces, insists that he fixes it or he’ll trip over, but seojun remains stubborn and cocky and so she takes it upon herself to crouch down for him, and he’s unable to stop the flustered smile that spreads across his face as she goes, “you require a lot of care, don’t you?”

unfortunately for you, this is the scene that you unexpectedly run into after leaving the comic store but, instead of hurrying away at the sight of him like you’ve been doing for the past few days, it’s as if your feet have been glued to the ground and you don’t move even as the familiar ache in your chest throbs the longer you’re there.

he doesn’t seem miserable without you, after all.

and so all you’re able to do is blink multiple times as you watch seojun purposely untie his shoelaces behind jugyeong’s back, but the girl is already surprised to see you.

“ya, jugyeong! they got loose ag—”

and that’s when he sees you.

seojun’s face visibly falls when his eyes meet yours and he, too, is stunned, and now the three of you have been standing there for what feels like decades. jugyeong feels as though she’s in the middle of something she shouldn’t be in so she mutters an awkward ‘goodnight’ to her friend before waving at you, but before she can go, you’re already turning away and running out of there.

jugyeong and seojun’s growing friendship actually gets them in trouble, when a gang of bullies who are after seojun mistakes jugyeong as his girlfriend and uses her to threaten him, and then a whole brawl ensues outside of school involving seojun’s group of friends, and, much to everyone’s surprise, even top students suho and soojin. but despite everyone being safe in the end, they all wind up in detention the next day.

but the problem doesn’t end there, because suho is mad at seojun for putting his girlfriend in that situation. moreover, jugyeong’s still been keeping her distance from the man for reasons unknown, so when suho visits her at work and finds the other guy behind the register, it’s the last of his patience. and so he goes, “i thought you were only a substitute.”

“the other part-timer quit.”

suho’s jaw clenches. “you gave the job to my girlfriend, now the other part-timer just happened to quit?”

seojun scoffs, doesn’t even bother denying the ridiculous accusation, “you’re being obsessive.”

“i’m just saying, don’t cross the line.”

“then stop making her worry,” seojun sneers, “and come to me for dating advice.”

suho sucks in a deep breath. anyone can easily tell that it’s taking everything in the boy not to lose his tight grip on his temper. “stop being so concerned about my girlfriend, and maybe ask y/n how she’s doing, will you?”

the mention of your name is enough to shut the other up.

“did you even know,” suho continues at the boy’s silence, careful not to say anything else about your personal matters he isn’t in the position to spill other than, “that she was also badly in need of a job?’

seojun freezes at this, feels like a bucket of icy cold water had been dumped over his head as several realizations come to mind, but before he can utter anything back, jugyeong is finally coming out of the backroom. “suho. why are you here?”

“i’ll wait for you,” is all the boy replies before he’s walking out of the cafe.

and so when jugyeong meets him outside, he doesn’t wait any longer to say: “let’s tell the kids we’re going out.”

jugyeong’s eyes widen. “all of a sudden? but i… still feel uneasy about it.”

“you feel uneasy about telling other people we’re dating, but you’re okay with them thinking you’re dating seojun? even if it put you in danger?”

“that’s not what i— you know we’re just friends.”

“how are you even okay hanging out with someone i’m not in good terms with? and how do you think i feel when rumors like this are spreading…” suho says, voice almost pleading, “why do you still keep spending time with him?”

“why?” jugyeong’s eyes sting with hot tears as she spits the next words angrily, “do you tell me every time you meet someone? am i not allowed to work or meet friends? then if i’m not okay with something, would you be able to give it up?” she pauses, “can you stop being friends with someone?”

the conversation doesn’t end well.

the small revelation from today actually ends up weighing seojun down all night - the unease coiling in his gut thinking about suho’s ‘maybe ask y/n how she’s doing, will you?’ and its possible implications; the overpowering mix of guilt and regret clawing at his chest, because everyday it just keeps making more and more sense why you were so disappointed with him that night, and if only he had realized things sooner then maybe the two of you would still be fine.

he thinks he doesn’t deserve you after all. for being such a blind friend. and maybe that’s why he just can’t bring himself to call you no matter how strong the urge is. no matter how much it kills not knowing what you’re up to.

and so he unexpectedly finds himself in front of the only place he can think of: a 24/7 karaoke bar.

one of the things seyeon liked to say when things got overwhelming, was that singing is the best medicine.

on the other hand, jugyeong has been crying into her pillow for hours since she got home. her sobs could be heard from downstairs that it had taken away both her dad and brother’s attention from their activities, but their attempts from outside the door at cheering the girl up or atleast getting her to eat dinner had all been futile, so they’ve just settled with leaving her alone.

jugyeong likes suho a lot. in fact, she likes him too much. but the frustrations and restrictions in their relationship, the insecurities and misunderstandings that came with it, simply got too much for her to handle that breaking up seemed the only option.

she just wasn’t prepared for the heartbreak. and now all she wants to do is to stay locked in her room forever.

it’s the opposite for you. tonight you’re extra suffocated by the four walls of your room - it’s as if they’re closing in on you; sick of the screaming and yelling in your home that don’t seem to die down these days; frustrated by the words in paper that only end up disappearing from your head as quickly as they come… tired of being there.

you’ve unexpectedly been doing well, your jobs and pending exams proved to be a great distraction from the loneliness you feel deep down - up until this point. because now, you’ve already gotten used to the busyness of your current life that it’s no longer enough to block the nagging thoughts at the back of your mind or delay the realization that’s been boiling at the pit of your stomach.

the realization that you’d just ended your friendship with han seojun for good.

all because you’d out of nowhere decided that your feelings were worth putting the bond down the drain.

so you leave your house to breathe, but the air outside is thin and does nothing to alleviate your sadness at all. and now your eyes are starting to blur with tears - tears you’ve been delaying since you’d decided to fake being okay - and soon you’re in a fit of uncontrollable sobs.

by the time you reach a bench, your eyes are already puffy and bloodshot.

a week ago, you still could’ve easily taken it back - whatever went down that night. could’ve played it off like it had just been a bad fight or maybe an emotional outburst from you, could’ve said sorry, rough week, or perhaps, it had been your time of the month. i mean, you’d never really told him it was over, right? just ‘goodnight, take care.’ no goodbye or talk to you never.

but now it’s too late for that anymore and, tonight, you’re missing him more than you can handle.

you haven’t cried like this since forever. and so once you’ve started you can’t stop, because now it’s not just about one person anymore, but it’s also over the several months, years, that have been bottled up inside you - the weight of all the responsibilities your family has put on you, the friendship that had to be taken away from you, and the last of it you’d willingly thrown away.

thankfully, you think, it’s too deep in the night for anyone to still be outside to see you at such an embarrassing state.

but later you’re proven wrong when all of a sudden you feel another person’s presence near you, and when you remove your hands off your face you see that they’re closer than you thought - just standing right in front of you. upon looking up, your sobs somehow die down in your throat at the surprise of finding out who it is.

lee suho.

there’s concern marring the boy’s face as he takes a look at yours and sighs, but the dim glow of the streetlight is enough for you to notice the trails of half-dried tears that stain his cheeks as well.

unable to form words, your eyes follow as he crouches down to your level and starts to gently pat your face dry with a handkerchief he’d taken from his pocket, but soon stops when he interprets the stunned look on your face as discomfort, afraid he’s gone over the line.

so now he’s staring at you, hand that was previously on your face still hanging in the air, and, before you know it, you’re wrapping your arms around the man and finding yourself being overwhelmed but comforted by the familiar embrace you’ve been longing for this whole time.

“why don’t you just tell him the truth? that you like him,” suho says, causing you to choke on your drink and loosen your grip on the guitar, but thankfully suho is there to support the catch.

earlier, he offered that you spend the night at his house after you’d shared everything to each other, because he assumed that you didn’t want to be home. so currently, you’re in his music room, and you’ve gone from revisiting old memories that had all occurred in this place to now talking about your current dilemma.

“what?” he asks as you stare at him with wide eyes. you’ve never told him about your feelings for seojun. “you’re not as hard to read as you think, you know.”

“ah, is that so…” your shoulders slump in disappointment, though you know that you’ve always been good at concealing your feelings from people. just that, you and suho had always shared such an innate understanding of each other, a genuine warm connection, one that didn’t need a lot of words to work and, apparently, after all, that hasn’t even changed a bit. “but how could you even suggest that? you make it sound so easy.”

“it’s not,” he says, before he quickly mumbles wait, you’re doing it wrong as he leans his body towards your other side to reach for and adjust the tuning keys himself, fingers momentarily brushing against yours… and you find yourself comfortably admiring his side profile until he turns his head towards you and suddenly the proximity of your faces is making you nervous. “but what have you got to lose now?”

it’s as if you’re both physically unable to look away from each other that neither of you move from your positions, and you feel something tug at your chest which causes you to clear your throat just to dispel the moment just as suho swallows and withdraws his body away from yours.

“it’s done,” he says and you mutter a quick thanks as he stands up from the couch, “do you still remember how to play?”

you hum, “which song?”

“seyeon’s.”

you smile as you nod eagerly, and suho takes a seat in front of the piano.

part seven

#true beauty #true beauty headcanons #han seojun x reader #lee suho x reader #hwang inyeop #cha eunwoo #seojun #suho #lee suho #han seojun #hwang in yeop #tbhc

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tearsona · 4 years

Text

true beauty | h.c. with fem!reader | part four

a/n: sorry this took longer than usual, had sort of a block…nothing much happens here, but it’s in preparation for the angst in part five (it was going to be included in here but i decided to keep this one short and didn’t want y’all to keep waiting any longer). let me know what you think :3

part one | part three

after the school trip, everything went back to normal.

except you’re now fully aware of just how long seojun spends staring at jugyeong sometimes, or how easily he gets distracted during conversations whenever the girl is around that it just… makes you lose all the excitement you had in your story even if he’s asking you a bunch of questions to get you to continue because he’s still genuinely interested in what you have to say.

or how terribly whipped the guy is. like one time, he came to school by feet and you were happy because you’d been trying for so long to get him to stop riding that bike… but before you could greet him, jugyeong beat you to it with, “wow, han seojun, finally decided to quit your bike as i’ve been telling you to?”

and you watched as seojun stumbled through words upon denial… but you knew she was right.

on the other hand, seeing the two walk to class together that morning was the last straw for suho, so he decided to confront jugyeong during lunch and the first thing he said was: “you said you weren’t avoiding me.”

he asked her why she cried that night - something he hadn’t been able to get off his mind ever since. “do you like han seojun? why else would you cry because of him?”

this morning, you’re walking with seojun to class and you’re still corridors away when you hear shouts and cheers from whom you recognize to be his friends, and you glance at each other in what-the-hell-is-going-on?

when you reach the room, it’s in a state of disorder and it takes you both almost a full minute to register what is happening: it’s a celebration for the class’ new couple, jugyeong and seojun, with decorated banners and shirts printed with photos they took of her sleeping on his shoulder in the bus during that trip.

they’ve apparently figured out that the boyfriend jugyeong had been so insistent in hiding during the first time she had been caught on a date at a restaurant was seojun, after another one of them had secretly spotted the two having a ‘second date’ at the mall just the other day.

seojun is still wide-eyed but the only thing running through his mind at the moment is jugyeong? boyfriend? restaurant? date? and he wonders if she’d already worked it out with the other boy… which would mean all his chances gone, right?

seeing as this has nothing to do with you, you leave him on his own and walk towards your seat before he’s forced to come up in front alongside jugyeong, who explains that this has all been just a misunderstanding. you would’ve found it hilarious as you watched them act as if in a press conference, if it weren’t for the jealousy bubbling in your stomach at the thought of seojun being in a relationship with someone that isn’t you.

seeing jugyeong’s struggle and discomfort in denying the silly rumor on her own, seojun commands the room to shut up, and the sudden silence makes it easy for suho to catch jugyeong’s attention when he walks out of the scene, causing her to run out and follow him.

that is all the confirmation seojun needed.

at the rooftop, suho, though hurt, calmly confronts jugyeong. why did she lie about going out with seojun?

after hearing her explanation (didn’t want him to worry, she owed seojun a favor so they’d gone out to the mall together to pick a gift for gowoon’s birthday), he makes jugyeong promise to be more honest with him from now on, as his girlfriend.

but it doesn’t mean he’s any less irritated by the other man. so when he accidentally bumps into him during break, an argument inevitably escalates and you happen to be walking nearby when suho’s voice full of rage catches your ears.

your first instinct is to look around to make sure no one else is hearing this, before you reach the spot where you find him gripping your best friend by the collar. the scene looks painfully familiar to you.

instead of pulling them away from each other like you usually do, something keeps you rooted in place, and you stand just distant enough not to be noticed by the pair as you continue to eavesdrop.

“why does it have to be lim jugyeong?!”

“i don’t know either!” your best friend’s voice catches you off-guard. “why it has to be jugyeong… is something i can’t control.”

you feel your heart plummet at this the same way it did the first time you learned about his feelings for the other girl. it’s not just the words, but the way he said it… the pain and frustration tied around seojun’s voice that feels like daggers to your chest; the tinge of desperation - desperation to get rid of feelings he never asked for in the first place - that hits too close to home for you.

you decide to hear none of it anymore, so you walk away just before the bell rings.

but add this to the list of things for your mind to replay every night.

the next time you hang out is at seojun’s place. he doesn’t mention anything to you about it and neither do you. for once, you want to have a time with him where jugyeong doesn’t get brought up at all. the girl is a sweetheart and all, there’s nothing to dislike about her even if you tried, but the mere mention of her name has the ability to rip your heart into pieces, and you’ve had enough of that these days.

so you’re minding your own homework when he goes, “ah, what the hell’s so special about this anyway?”

“about what?”

then he shows you his phone and it’s a photo of a lip gloss from a brand you know everyone’s been raving about these days with the words ‘OUT OF STOCK’ in big letters.

gowoon’s birthday is soon and seojun has mentioned that his sister’s recently gotten into makeup so you realize that this is him being the best brother that he’s always been. you memorize the name of the item and take a mental note to look it up later.

you spend the rest of your time at his house studying for your nearing exams, and you make it a point to recite all the important information that you come across so your friend is able to absorb them as well. never trust the guy to study on his own.

eventually, it gets dark out and it’s time for you to leave. your house isn’t far but seojun insists in walking you home even if you tell him you’ll be fine by yourself.

“hey. don’t overwork yourself and take breaks,” he scolds with a pointed finger when you stop in front of the gate of your house. seojun knows you have the tendency to push yourself too hard and deprive yourself of sleep whenever exams are (by your definition of) close. “you’re already smart. you don’t have to pull all-nighters to ace them, okay?”

“yeah, yeah, i know,” you wave him off, gesturing him to leave. if your heart is fluttering right now, you’re doing a good job hiding it. “worry about yourself. if you barely pass the exams, i’ll tutor you myself. you wouldn’t like that.”

he continues staring at you like he has more to say, so you forcibly turn him around by the shoulders and push him off on his way with a laugh. “jeez dad, just go!”

“alright, alright, i will! you eat dinner!” he yells over his shoulder as he waves, which you return with a huge grin.

and, as always, he deduces that the fluttery sensation in his stomach is due to hunger.

so he stops by the store to grab food before he heads home.

when you enter your house, you’re greeted by a mess of bottles of alcohol all over the floor, along with other things that seem to have been thrown around in a fit of anger. you find your mom on the dinner table with her face buried in her hands and you don’t have ask what happened to know. because you’re used to it. instead, you do nothing and walk up to your room in silence, where you stay up all night in distress.

the next day, you don’t know how you managed to get to school, when someone grabs you by the shoulders and startles you. “seriously, you’re so out of it, y/n.”

“i- i’m sorry, were you talking to me?”

suho bends down a little for a better look at you, but you shy away as you try to recall if you’ve applied enough concealer this morning to cover the lack of sleep on your face. or if you even have at all.

“i was asking if you’ve seen…” jugyeong. but it’s useless since you hadn’t even been paying attention to your surroundings to notice anyone at all. “nevermind.”

you give him an apologetic look when he starts to go off on his way, but it doesn’t take long for him to eventually stop in his tracks because a feeling of unease nagged at his chest to come back and check on you.

“hey, watch your way, will you?” he snaps you out of your thoughts once again, causing you to turn around to face him and realize that you’ve been walking in the wrong direction all along. “aren’t you coming to class?”

"oh, um.”

“are you sick?” he asks, reaching a hand to feel your forehead but then he withdraws when he finds that your temperature is normal. “then what’s up with you today?”

“ah, just…” you’re about to say ‘nothing’ but your eyes meet his expectant ones and you’re suddenly contemplating whether you want to be honest with him or just keep it to yourself. a large part of you feels like it’s a silly idea, but suho had always been the person you confided in with family matters, the only one who had been able to get you to open up… and right now you’re feeling a lot of weight on your shoulders you’re not quite sure you’ll be able to handle on your own. “n…one, really.”

so now you’re sitting on the bench together with a few more minutes to spare before class, because your response wasn’t convincing enough. after telling him the details to your personal problem, you’re not sure if you made a wise decision, but the look of understanding in suho's eyes somehow makes you feel relieved. and thankful.

“seojun’s had a lot of part-time jobs in the past, hasn’t he? go ask him to refer you to one.” you bite your lip as you consider his suggestion and he sees the doubt in your face. “y/n. i’m sure he’d be willing to help you rather than let you take a semester off.”

but it’s not a question of whether or not seojun’s willing. something about coming to him for help, letting him know what you’re going through and allowing him to see you like this… feels like something to be ashamed of. even if you're badly in need of his aid.

“if… anything else happens at home… my number’s still the same,” suho shyly offers, and you feel a sudden rush of affection for the boy, an urge to give him a hug. you realize just how badly you've missed him. it makes your heart ache a little.

but right now, you think, you’ll settle with a verbal thanks. “for taking the time to listen.” you smile. for allowing you to be friends again.

suho hums and returns your smile, but soon you're breaking the silence with, “oh, jugyeong’s here,” as you nod towards the direction of the school gate to which the guy turns to look. “i’ll head first then, see you!”

you stand up and start walking towards the entrance of the building on your own, but a taller presence purposely blocks your way that you have to take a step back to see their face. “seojun!”

“you, didn’t i tell you to stop talking to strangers?”

you roll your eyes and nudge him on his side.

part five

#true beauty #lee suho #han seojun #suho #seojun #han seojun x reader #lee suho x reader #lim jugyeong #true beauty headcanons #hwang inyeop #cha eunwoo #moon gayoung #suseo #team suho #team seojun #tbhc

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tearsona · 4 years

Text

true beauty | h.c. with fem!reader | part three

a/n: i’ve really been enjoying writing this so far tbh… anw here’s part three! pls let me know what you think i love receiving messages. i wonder who y’all want y/n to end up with lol… (: also i apologize for any typos/errors, i tend to notice them after like 3 times of rereading the post…

part one | part two

after spending the last day of the trip doing team-building activities, they finally give y’all a break and let you enjoy the rest of the night with live music and more food like last night. seojun, whom you’ve barely interacted with all day, wanted to eat dinner minus the commotion, so now you’re waiting for him by a bench far enough from the group of people.

“ya, where did you get this?” you gasp in disbelief as you bring out the bottle of soju from the paper bag seojun brought along with the containers of food he’d taken from back there, but you quickly put it back in fear that someone else might see it. “this isn’t allowed!”

he shrugs and tells you “just ‘cause” when you ask him why he has alcohol when he’s never really been a drinker, let alone on a school trip. you’re not entirely convinced so you raise your brows at him, and then he goes, “kids can’t drink,” as he steals the bag away from you.

and then you take out the containers from the other bag one by one and you’re like “wow, han seojun!” and give him two thumbs up because he didn’t disappoint in getting you as much of your favorite food and extra sauce packets as you always liked.

he smiles proudly and replies with “i know you so well,” when you’re patting the space beside you so he sits and you lay some of the containers on his lap.

suddenly he goes, “i’m sorry.”

you look at him all confused and mumble, “why are you apologizing? weirdo,” as you tap his arm twice to get him to move away a little for more elbow space and he obliges.

it’s because he remembers seeing you walking away last night, and he says he thought you were mad that he wasn’t able to hang out with you. you hand him his pair of chopsticks and tell him that it’s nothing, that you went to bed early and when were you ever clingy with him? because for a fact, you’ve always been the easy-going, low-maintenance type of friend… never once pushed yourself on him or whined whenever he cancelled on you (which didn’t happen often).

it’s partly true - you did go to bed early, but you don’t tell him that you actually stayed up for another hour or two overthinking what you’d seen until finally settling with the belief that it was none more than friendly between seojun and jugyeong so now you swear that it’s nothing to you anymore.

you can’t help but be curious though as you watch him open the bottle of soju for himself and dive first into the food, so you tell him you saw jugyeong crying to him that night and ask him why she was.

“jugyeong… likes lee suho? and what about it? i mean, it’s obvious he likes her back.”

seojun scoffs. “she thinks he likes someone else.” and he makes eye contact with you at the words someone else.

and just like him, you think it’s ridiculous.

so you finally dive into your food and once you’ve swallowed, you go, “well, you could’ve spared her the tears and told her the truth. you’re not that cruel, are you?”

the word ‘cruel’ makes seojun stop chewing his food in guilt, blinking a couple times at you as you wait for an answer.

“i… didn’t want to.”

you tsk and you’re about to scold him, but when you open your mouth, he shuts you up with “i-like-lim-jugyeong” and you freeze. he initially waits to see the reaction on your face but then all of a sudden, he’s feeling small under your gaze and looks away, because this is the first time he’s actually said it out loud (excluding all the times he’d done it to lee suho without actually meaning it) and he’s not sure if the pounding in his chest is due to pain or excitement.

the silence is agonizing because he’s not sure what’s going on in your mind, but he’s thinking somewhere along the lines of ‘see, karma’s a bitch’ or ‘you get what you deserve’ or ‘you’re on your own now’ or maybe worse, and he readies himself for the onslaught…

but it doesn’t come. how? when you’re unable to form words… as your mind is too busy willing your now even more fragmented heart to cooperate with you - at least long enough to last through dinner until you can be on your own again - plus, you’re suddenly feeling quite suffocated.

“h-hey, stop looking at me like that. i—eat your food,” he says, taking it upon himself to pick up food from the container and urge you to open your mouth with an “ah.”

but then your brain finally catches on and you push his hand away gently and quietly mumble, “i can feed myself.”

the next morning, as you’re waiting for the buses to pick you up, sua pulls some of her friends and a few others from your class into a game of truth, so you’re all sitting down in a circle on the grass, holding inflatable hammers and passing the lie detector around.

“lee suho! have you kissed before?”

jugyeong looks at him with hopeful eyes. you’re curious yourself if suho has already had his first kiss during the time you’ve been separated. i mean, it’s unlikely but… who knows?

but suho hesitates until the time is up and he’s hit by a bunch of toy hammers.

so he’s next and he attempts to challenge seojun with “love or friendship?” and the question surely has some layers in it, with the way he’s looking at the other.

but seojun looks all serious when he grabs the lie detector and answers “love” without even giving it a thought - as if it were the easiest question in an exam. the device pings without a shock and seojun looks satisfied with that. you’re not entirely sure what that means but your face falls and suho doesn’t fail to catch that.

sua cringes and goes, “ah, must he be so cheesy?” and then tells everyone to get him so he’s attacked by the bunch and you don’t participate.

you’re still distracted by your own thoughts when suddenly seojun’s pointing his hammer towards you. “am i handsome?”

there’s a smug look on his face while he waits for your answer, so you say “no” pointedly but the toy betrays you when it sends you a shock, and you barely flinch because you’re annoyed. you know he’s never going to let you live that down.

suho straightens up in his seat when jugyeong enters the bus and he calls out her name as an invitation to sit next to him, but he receives only an awkward nod from the girl before she finds herself a seat near the end of the bus.

seojun takes advantage of this opportunity to sit next to her and normally you wouldn’t mind, if only you didn’t know he had feelings for the girl… so you’re left feeling disregarded and you mindlessly drop down to the nearest empty seat before you can even realize that it’s suho next to you when you notice him stiffen… so now you’re looking at each other and it’s an awkward situation you’ve put yourself in.

you grab your phone as a distraction and soon you’re swiping and tapping at it harshly as you continuously ignore the new message notifications asking you where you are and what you’re doing…

and then eventually you get tired of it so you lock your phone and shove it in your bag with a sigh. slowly, you turn your head to look at suho in curiosity, who happens to also have been looking at you.

“um…” is all you say before settling to just looking at the back of the seat in front of you for the rest of the bus ride.

meanwhile, the boys are hollering and seojun is the object of their teasing. you hear him say “wake her up and you’re dead,” but this only causes them to tease him further, calling him a simp and saying that he’s whipped so you sneak a look and jugyeong is asleep on seojun’s shoulder, and the boys are taking pictures until he tells them to piss off.

he catches your eyes and looks a bit surprised to see you because he’s been wondering all along where you’ve been sitting but before he can even mouth anything to you, you immediately shift your gaze back to the front.

later on, boredom gets the best of you and soon you’re unexpectedly poking on your seatmate’s arm to get his attention and he looks at you perplexedly.

you mouth ‘what are you listening to’ but suho merely stares back at you with eyes that speak why are you talking to me before turning his attention away and back to the window.

you resign with a small pout, resting your back against your seat and mentally cursing at yourself at the poor decision. you close your eyes instead.

but then you open it not long after and there’s a hand offering an earbud in front of you, much to your surprise. you try to hide your disbelief and take the earbud from his hand before he even changes his mind.

your ear is met with a familiar tune that you haven’t heard in ages and you gasp, looking at him with wide eyes and a grin. “you still listen to this?”

suho nods his head once in response. it’s barely noticeable, but you catch him smile a little and you can’t help the warmth that spreads across your chest.

“remember when we competed over this to see who could sing the highest note?”

“o,” suho replies with an initial frown, before he chuckles slightly at the memory while you giggle.

seeing his smile almost reach his eyes makes you feel a little bolder and more comfortable so you say, “ah, let me see what else you have,” when you grab the phone from his hand. he’s startled and defensive at first but lets you do it anyway.

you scroll through his list in a mix of both amazement and excitement. “wah, lee suho,” you mutter as a wave of nostalgia hits you at the sight of the different titles of old songs you used to love together before everything went… downhill.

you hum along to the music and tread through different memories, laughing and arguing over which person remembers the details more correctly, and you’re careful not to step anywhere near the sensitive line so as to not kill the mood.

to be honest, you’re not sure where the line is, so when he points out and says, “that was on seyeonie’s birthday…” you look up because you weren’t expecting him to mention his name or acknowledge his memory even once at all. you feel comforted by that.

you don’t even realize that you’ve been smiling at each other, or that the bus had pulled into a stopover sometime ago, until you’re pulled out of the bubble by a familiar voice calling your name.

your head shoots up to the source and seojun is giving the boy next to you the iciest glare you’ve ever seen, but then he switches to look at you and it’s less piercing, but he doesn’t look happy with you either. you quickly pause the music and the movement steals his attention, so now he’s looking at the phone in your hand.

you’re used to the tension that’s always forming whenever the two men are in close proximity with each other, but this one feels a bit unfamiliar.

seojun drops a plastic bag from the convenience store on your lap and you take a brief glance at its contents. you see snacks and what’s looking like hangover pills. (you’d accidentally gotten drunk last night after, well, you know… and he was actually forced to take care of you without being caught by the teacher.)

“learn how to answer your texts,” he says coldly before walking back to his seat.

you feel like you’ve just been caught in the act of committing a crime, but then you try to laugh it off to ease the awkwardness. “ah, don’t mind him…”

part four

#true beauty #lee suho #han seojun #true beauty headcanons #han seojun x reader #lee suho x reader #hwang inyeop #lim jugyeong #moon gayoung #cha eunwoo #team suho #suho #team seojun #seojun #suseo #tbhc

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tearsona · 4 years

Text

true beauty | h.c. with fem!reader | part two

a/n: hey, part one has gotten some little attention so i took that as a sign to continue… here’s part two out of who knows. feel free to share your thoughts btw.

part one

let’s get to the part where jugyeong catches a girl confessing to suho during lunch… suho doesn’t even look her in the eye because he’s staring at jugyeong’s when he rejects her with “i like someone else” loud enough for the other to hear, hoping she’d somehow get the indirect confession because who else would he like?

but ofcourse, jugyeong doesn’t take it like that… suho likes someone. and that’s not her, right?

automatically, she assumes it’s soojin, being the only other girl suho considers as a friend (even though their interactions are mostly just over academics) besides her, and surely, it’s not her, right?

so jugyeong comes home very sad that day.

the news of suho rejecting a girl spreads around fast the next morning and jugyeong even overhears a pair of girls in the corridor claiming y/n to be the girl whom suho likes.

yes, you.

and jugyeong is super duper confused because… y/n? literally how is that possible when she doesn’t think she’s ever even seen you and suho exchange even atleast two words or make eye contact with each other at all.

okay - maybe you do, but only when you have to stop suho and seojun from accidentally murdering each other… but other than that? none. before seojun came into the picture, to jugyeong, you and suho existed in two different worlds - even though you went to the same class. you just barely acknowledged each other’s existence like that.

so when sua and soojin start talking about the rumors and like everyone else, mention the possibility that the object of suho’s attraction might actually be you, jugyeong’s suddenly more attentive and later on joins the gossip by casually asking why they think that is.

they give her an idea of how close you, seojun, suho, and another student used to be, and suddenly she gets everything that’s been going on between the two boys - the tension and all.

so for the next few periods, she watches you and thinks about how naturally beautiful you are and how effortless you seem to be when it comes to getting good grades, just overall putting herself down next to you…

and during the next few days, she keeps ending up a tiny bit more heartbroken every time she happens to catch suho glancing at you during lectures as you jot down your notes. and every time that happens, she swears his stare lingers… something she’s never noticed before.

basically her mind is a whirlwind of assumptions.

doesn’t even catch suho staring at her for much longer.

especially when she and suho see you with seojun in the corridor looking so troubled, telling your boy friend you have to come home early today and suho turns to jugyeong, all seemingly unconcerned, and says “do you want to go to the comic store tonight?” with a smile on his face

but in the next class, your teacher’s about to make you collect all the papers and hand it over to him by the end of the day again (which means you’d have to wait in school an hour or two after classes end due to late submissions), when suho volunteers before the man can even ask you to.

jugyeong doesn’t fail to notice that, ofcourse.

she cancels his plans with suho since he’ll stay in late anyway, and starts distancing herself from him despite his several attempts to get her to be with him and, suho, who’s whipped as hell, is wondering if he’s done anything wrong to get her to suddenly be so avoidant.

but he shrugs it off because maybe jugyeong’s really just, indeed, unavailable and busy.

the day of the school outing, she sits beside him in the bus so maybe, yeah, it was just him overthinking…

but during the paper dance activity, seojun takes the opportunity to grab jugyeong by the wrist and drag her into your team and she doesn’t protest against it because she doesn’t want to be in suho’s group anyway. like, she wants to avoid him as much as possible.

throughout the game, it’s hard not to notice the death glares suho has been giving seojun, and you roll your eyes at either boy’s childishness.

but you get a tiny bit jealous when seojun carries jugyeong as part of the game because that could have been you…

but your thoughts are suddenly pushed aside when suho is triggered by this action and you think you have to come inbetween again as he comes for seojun, but then he gets stopped by the other guy from his group and you sigh in relief as he lets it go.

fast forward to the night when you’re left to be bored because seojun was dared to go ghost-hunting with chorong and his group, you decide to walk around all by yourself and find jugyeong and suho by the lake, and loneliness overcomes you a little.

the next day is treasure hunt, but before the game starts, seojun excuses himself so you end up playing without him, you don’t pay much mind to it or even ask him where he’s going because it’s not unusual for him to not participate in school activities. maybe he just isn’t in the mood.

but seojun is actually going after jugyeong, whom he’d noticed didn’t seem to be feeling well earlier, and finds her in the bus sleeping with a burning fever. seojun runs off to get medicine and comes back to let her take it and sleep on his shoulder, but then suho comes into the scene…

that night, students are given the chance to perform on stage and the host urges seojun to perform because chorong might have accidentally revealed that the guy can sing, much to seojun’s annoyance. like everyone else, you encourage seojun to go up but he refuses as always.

however, you watch as seojun changes his mind easily and says yes to jugyeong and you’re like… wow okay but you note that it’s in exchange for a favor and you try not to give it much thought, plus you can already guess that the favor will be something to get on suho’s nerves, like probably a date or something…

but, still, seojun hasn’t sung in ages and you’re not sure whether to feel thankful for or jealous of jugyeong…

so, he sings, right, and he’s dedicating the song to jugyeong so painfully obvious through his eyes, but your heart is a bit too overwhelmed by the fact that you’re finally hearing this voice again to even look at his face and notice that, and you try to stick around for awhile but then eventually leave before the song ends to prevent the past memories that have been trying to come back.

jugyeong though, paying careful attention to the lyrics, in the middle of the song, starts to gaze lovingly at suho, whose attention you’d caught by leaving. he’s following you with his eyes, and he may have an idea what’s going on in your mind because he’s going through the same… but doesn’t do anything about it and stays.

jugyeong catches that moment and runs off, heartbroken…

you see her walk past you and you notice the sad expression on her face, but you’re kind of distracted by your own feelings at the moment to follow her and ask her if she’s okay, but then later when you’ve finally gotten over it, you start to worry so you look for jugyeong.

seojun finds jugyeong first and starts nagging her about the favor she owes him for making him go up the stage. her silence urges him to continue teasing her because, to be honest, he hasn’t quite gotten over the fact that he just finished singing in front of a crowd yet.

but jugyeong starts sobbing uncontrollably and all pride leaves seojun as he panics, so he rushes to the girl and crouches down to her level, immediately asking her what’s wrong.

seojun continues to press further but the girl is too busy sobbing to pay attention to his ministrations.

“i’m sorry, alright? whatever it is, i’m sorry.” seojun taps at his chest to show apologetic sincerity that isn’t even his to give in the first place, but he’s desperate to put a stop to her pain…

then jugyeong finally goes, “why? why doesn’t suho like me?” and seojun feels as if someone punched a giant hole through his heart and threw a bucket of icy water all over him, feeling like a whole fool… especially after he’d mustered up the courage to sing for her… especially after all that brazenness against suho as well…. suddenly, he feels stupid…

“i—”

“don’t say it.”

“you see …”

“don’t say it!”

“i like lee suho.”

seojun sighs and says, “i told you not to say it” through gritted teeth but then jugyeong continues to talk about how much it hurts, and he wants nothing more than to cover his ears and leave her there but knows he can’t, because he cares about her, too much that he’s willing to continue listening despite the ache in his chest.

so seojun brings his hands to her cheeks and brushes away the tears very gently and feather-like soft, telling her to stop crying because it makes her look ugly.

but jugyeong is beautiful even when she’s crying.

the girl ignores his comment and says, “suho… likes someone else.”

but seojun knows immediately that it’s just a false assumption, and a ridiculous one too because it doesn’t take a smart person to put two and two together and figure out that suho is head over heels for this girl, and this girl only.

seojun asks, “and who would that be?”

and jugyeong says, “y/n.“

seojun takes that in a surprise because… suho liking y/n? he can’t imagine, just can’t wrap his head around the possibility… ask him why and he wouldn’t know. maybe because for someone who grew up with him, seyeon, and suho, you’ve always been just… one of the bros. not that you were unlikeable or unattractive, just that. you’ve always been out of the question.

said attraction is so unlikely, yet the thought alone is enough to make seojun’s blood boil. suho doesn’t deserve jugyeong but he’s already won her heart, and now he’s here possibly, hypothetically, liking his best friend? after everything he’s put you guys through? over his dead body.

if suho even did so much as laid a finger on you… God help him.

jugyeong snaps seojun out of his thoughts and goes, “it’s true… i see the way he looks at her.”

on the other hand, you’re still looking everywhere for jugyeong but you reach a point where you finally decide to give up as your feet are already starting to hurt. you stop by a bench and sit down to massage your heels.

and then you catch sight of suho on the other side and you debate whether you should call out his name and ask if he’s seen jugyeong, ask him if she’s fine, but you’re not sure if you’re in okay enough terms with him to do that… so you decide against it.

then you’re curious at whatever seems to be keeping the guy rooted in spot with what you make out to be a pained expression on his face, so you frown and follow his line of sight and, there it is - your subject of search.

in front of her is han seojun, crouched down, one hand on her cheek and the other oh-so-gently tucking away strands of her hair behind her ear…

suddenly, you feel a heavy weight inside you because out of all the times seojun has shown interest in jugyeong, you think this seemed the most genuine - no showing off in front of suho or anything, just pure concern and sincerity.

but yeah, maybe it’s nothing. it’s in seojun’s nature to be so caring and big-hearted, despite the cool exterior he’s been trying to maintain. i mean, sure, he’s never caressed your cheek like that… but he’d always offer you the last piece of chocolate even if he wanted it, and even would occasionally go out of his way to make things more convenient for you. this is definitely nothing but han seojun consoling another friend’s sadness.

yet why’s the pain in your chest so unshakeable?

“forget it,” jugyeong says as she pushes seojun’s hands away from her face. “you’ll only rub my makeup off.“

so then she runs off, leaving seojun standing there, alone with his frustrations and own wounded heart to tend to.

when he takes off his eyes from the disappearing figure, it lands on lee suho on the far side, causing his expression to change into something more stoic and glaring.

but lee suho isn’t even paying attention to him, instead, his eyes are on the other side, and when seojun follows the direction, he’s led to you.

you, whose back was already turned and walking away.

seojun’s about to take a step to follow you, but something nags at the back of his mind, urging him to take one more glance at the other man.

it’s true… i see the way he looks at her.

and so that’s how the night ends.

four foolish hearts. broken.

part three

#true beauty #lee suho #han seojun #true beauty headcanons #han seojun x reader #lee suho x reader #hwang inyeop #lim jugyeong #moon gayoung #cha eunwoo #team suho #team seojun #suseo #tbhc

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