Ouran High School Host Club AU (Inspired by this post)
Yes, I used everybody they offered as the characters (and more!), it’s just a really big club.
(It will 200% get bigger if I keep writing this, don’t test me)
Ship Tags: MiyaHina, AtsuHina, OsaHina, OiHina, KurooHina, BokuHina, AkaaHina, TsukiHina, UshiHina, AoHina, HyakuHina, NishiHina/NoyaHina, Hinata Harem aka Hinata/Everyone.
Loosely follows plot, but a few things have been changed to match Haikyuu more, such as:
•Hinata isn’t an honor-student, he’s on an athletics scholarship (and while there are plenty of decent athletes there, they’re all rich enough to not need a scholarship)
•Hinata wears blue-light glasses often. He has good vision but having the glasses framing his vision helps him focus in class instead of getting (as) distracted.
•Yachi and Hinata switch off on some Haruhi stuff but Yachi isn’t the one the guys are all simping for.
•Yachi is an actual honor student but she’s not on the kinda full-ride scholarship Hinata is on. She’s like, partially rich, but not enough for Ouran (so she gets bullied or at least teased.)
•Hinata and Yachi got to be really good friends at orientation since she can sympathize with him better than all the actual rich people, and she helps him with his studies so he doesn’t completely flunk his classes.
•The Twins, like Hikaru and Kaoru, have the same color hair (brunette) atm
•Hinata’s mom is a drag king to parallel Haruhi’s dad’s sitch
•Oikawa doesn’t let Iwaizumi into the club because he kills his eccentricity and egotism. None of the others can vibe check him the way Iwa-Chan does so that’s why he seems even more unbearable and thus more Tamaki-like.
••
Hinata tried to figure out where Yachi disappeared to, peering down halls and into classrooms through small openings of the doors. “Yachi-saaaan...”
He barely registered the vague scent of roses and sweets saturating the air as he pushed the door softly.
The wood swung open as though pulled, Hinata stumbling through with a shout. A breeze and rose petals drifted by his face as he opened his eyes, head whipping up to view the silhouettes of the boys not too far from the door.
“Welcome to the Harukou Host Club!”
“Th-The... --What’s a host club?”
Hinata watched as all of the boys’ faces fell into befuddlement.
“W-What a funny joke,” a brunet, sat upon a throne-like chair, commented, his fingers interlocked beneath his chin. “Isn’t that cute? Trying to win our hearts with humor.”
“But--”
“So, what kind of guys do you like? We’ve got plenty of types to spare, and I don’t think any of them have any problem attending to a male--ah, sorry, what’re your pronouns? That was rude of me to assume.”
Hinata’s instinctive, “He/him,” came out before he could attach his protests at the services offered, his stress elevating as the brunet hopped out of his chair and sauntered over to him, hands extended in shows of eccentricity.
“We haven’t gotten a boy, yet, huh, ‘Tsumu?” one of the guys still in the group commented, his arm draped over the shoulder of his exact copy (sans the parting of the brown locks).
“No, but that’s because the only boys we’re involved with are each other,” the copy, ‘Tsumu(?), said, grabbing the other’s chin to hold his gaze. They stared into each other’s eyes for a second before their faces got a little green, the two of them separating to mime vomiting whilst laughing.
Hinata had to tune back into the brunet approaching him, who seemed to be going off on a tirade about beauty and elegance. He tuned back out almost immediately, finding even schoolwork to be more interesting.
“’Tsumu and ‘Samu are awful at the twincest-schtick, don’tcha think?”
“Right? I thought so, too. We’d be ten bajillion times better at it if we were identical twins!”
The ravenette rolled his eyes, although he drew in the other smugly. “Identical or not, the reason we work is because I’m a good actor.” Then, placatingly, he amended, “And you’re not hard to tease and smother with affection.”
His silver companion’s eyes lit up. “Man, you’re so cool, Kuroo.”
“Make sure to call me Tetsu when there are girls here.”
“Oooh do I get a nickname? Like, Kouta instead of Koutaro?”
Kuroo grinned, “Don’t give me an offer like that. I’ll call you Honey or Beloved, and while we’re raking in the cash, Akaashi’ll sell a bunch of merchandise with it.”
Another ravenette, probably Akaashi, nodded calmly as he penciled into his notebook. Beside him, a tall blonde smirked, his glasses flashing menacingly as he tapped away into a calculator. Kuroo and the silveret both paled and protested at him, which he seemed to ignore.
Speaking of ignoring things...
“You’ve been talking a long time, haven’t you?”
The brunet, knelt on the floor near a table, glanced over at him like he forgot who he was talking at. “Is that praise of my oratory skills? I’ve always been told that people get lost in my speeches, and it’s no surprise that you’ve gotten so enthralled with one!”
Seems like I wasn’t the only one who got lost, Hinata thought, noting the despondent, glazed eyes of some of the occupants. A short guy with a patch of blonde hair jumped up into a handstand on the shoulders of one of the taller guys in the back with white hair, and it was made evident that, no, some of them just always appeared completely detached from reality.
“So, anyway, what kind of guy is your type, Mr. Athlete? Maybe you like the cool type? The boy lolita?”
“—I AM NOT THAT SHORT—”
“You are quite that short,” the brunette continued, “Or maybe you like the strong silent type? —We have three of those. We also have twins—identical and fraternal— if you’re into the taboo kinda stuff. We don’t kinkshame here.”
“Maybe we should,” muttered the blonde guy with the calculator. His mouth was covered by a silver-haired guy with black ends, whose face betrayed no emotion even as the blonde fought against his palm irately.
“I’m not into this kind of thing,” Hinata said quickly, “Besides, doesn’t it cost money? I don’t think I’d be able to afford something like this, anyway.”
“Speaking of not being able to afford things... Shouldn’t we check up on her?” Probably-Akaashi motioned to a corner of the room with a piano and a familiar blonde girl hiding beneath its bench, sobbing meekly into her knees.
“Yachi-san!”
Hinata raced over to her, her head whipping up at his call. Her teary eyes let loose some sparkling droplets as she leapt at him, although the rope binding her ankles to the bench prevented her from fully reaching him. He thankfully was close enough that he saved her from a tumble to the floor.
“Hinataaaa,” she whined into his shoulder, “I’m going to have to sell my organs!!!”
“What!?”
“She came into our clubroom earlier and broke the vase we were supposed to sell at an auction,” explained one of the twins.
“It was worth eight million yen, and she told us she doesn’t have enough money but that she’ll sell her organs in order to pay us back, which is impressive in the dedication but very concerning.”
“We had Wakatoshi-kun put her on the bench to calm down, but she tied herself to it because she thought she would be our prisoner as a punishment.”
Yachi clearly tuned them out, too busy crying and hiding in Hinata’s arms. The redhead patted her on the head, wondering how things could get this weird in less than twenty minutes of her being out of his sight.
“Yachi-san.”
No response. Her blubbers were even less coherent now.
“Yachi-san!” He shook her by the shoulders until she blinked up at him. “I’ll help you, okay? Just promise me you’ll be more careful. And help me with my homework again!”
“Hinata...”
He grinned at her and patted her head. When he turned back to the group of boys, he could see they parted somewhat to allow the brunet to be visible whilst lounging on his throne that was turned to face them.
“I’ll be taking on Yachi-san’s debt,” he declared. The brunet rested his cheek on his fist and peered down his nose at him, smirk drawing his lips.
‘Kuroo’ spoke up, “Hoh? All eight million? Are you sure you can make it up, Chibi-chan?”
“You couldn’t even afford a school uniform; how do you plan to pay us back?” said the blonde guy, eyeing his white-and-pink tracksuit with no lack of judgment.
“I’ll...” Hinata glanced back at Yachi, her eyes glistening, and steeled his resolve, “I’ll do whatever it takes.”
“Then, Chibi-chan, from here on,” the brunet guy’s voice, initially dropped, lilted upward as his amusement mounted, "You’ll be our bitch.”
“What.”
•
Hinata frowned at the smudges all over his lenses, ignoring the twins (both sets) measured him for his uniform.
He almost didn’t notice when Kuroo bent down to meet his eye-level and gently grasped the frames of his blue-light glasses. “Alright, Chibi-chan, we’ll be taking these. Though it doesn’t even seem like you need them, huh, since these lenses don’t really have any magnification?”
“Well, no, but since we have a lot of work on laptops here I thought they’d be better to have.”
Kuroo hummed and slipped them off his ears and nose, and all of the twins gawked at him as he blinked up at them.
“What?”
Osamu kicked Atsumu’s calf, and the Miyas dragged Bokuto away with them.
“Nothing,” said Kuroo, “Maybe they just forgot you’d have a face behind these.”
“Oh, I’ve done that before! Like when people are sick for a long time and they wear a mask, I kinda forget they have mouths!”
“Yeah, just like that.”
•
“What kind of coffee is this?” The brunet, now known to be Oikawa Tooru, asked, beckoning Hinata over with the most obnoxious “come-hither” motion to ever exist.
“Instant. I don’t really understand coffee, but this is what my mom buys. It’s just cheap enough that I still have money for lunch.”
Oikawa sputtered at Hinata’s lackluster funding for his nutrition, although his mind finished processing what was said about the coffee itself before he could really express any amount of disbelief at the former.
“What do you mean ‘instant’? Are the beans already ground or something?”
Hinata blinked. “Coffee’s made of beans?”
Oikawa sighed heavily and drew up to his full height, holding the coffee container skyward as a few girls approached for their hosting appointment.
“Alright, you know what? I’m up for a challenge! I’m going to try some commoner’s coffee!”
The girls in the clubroom gave shrieks of surprise, Oikawa’s announcement drawing the attention of the entire room. Hinata longingly and despondently stared outside at the people running around the track and beginning practices for their various sports, allowing himself to be dragged away by the club president.
“Darn rich people,” he mumbled.
•
Oikawa was very clingy, Hinata found. Every spare second he had at the club was spent with the other nearby, coddling him and encouraging him to learn up close. It was so draining that the Miya Twins and the Fraternals dragging him into their games was infinitely more appealing, but that could also be his bias for Bokuto coming into play.
Kuroo was cool, too, yes, and the Miya Twins gave him food, but Bokuto’s energy was so perfectly aligned with his that Kuroo whined about his brother being snatched away on multiple occasions.
This time, with Oikawa monologuing as dramatically as ever, Hinata had no sets of twins to free him from the absolutely boring speech. He spaced out so hard, he didn’t notice Oikawa coming closer and hugging him to his chest excitedly.
He shouted, the fright sending tears into his eyes, and he reached desperately at the tall trio nearby. “Help!”
All three of them instinctively drew closer, but it was the white-haired eyebrowless one who pulled him out of Oikawa’s grasp by the armpits, Hinata’s legs dangling in the air while the brunette sat stupefied.
“A-Aone-kun, you didn’t have to go so far...” Oikawa tried.
Hinata smiled at Aone in thanks and patted his head gently to express further gratitude. Whence he was placed down, Aone bowed to him, and he bowed back.
•
Nishinoya was a very fun person to be around, although their interactions were sparse. He shone under the attention from the girls, and if Hinata didn’t know the girls were paying for his time, he’d have assumed the reverse was true. But it made sense, you know, since Noya-san was just such a cool dude.
The girls cooed at him and giggled at his jokes, and his dorky personality coupled with his small-but-wild looks made him a charmer. He also offered Hinata cake on a frequent basis, and often accosted the others to make sure they ate up--especially Tsukishima, who seemed prickly enough that Hinata didn’t want to get near him with a ten foot pole.
Unfortunately, Tsukishima was also the one mostly in charge of handling his debt, so he could not actually be avoided. Hinata was assured by Akaashi that he’d remove any undue charges Tsukishima would add to the debt, although Hinata would’ve preferred he hadn’t said anything about those undue charges and just did the removals with Hinata none-the-wiser, as then he wouldn’t be paranoid about the things Tsukishima would charge him for.
•
Hinata hadn’t meant to attract the attention of one of Oikawa’s most attached clients. She gave off a weird vibe and when he mentioned her to Yachi, the blonde girl went a little paler than usual (which, while a frequent occurrence, didn’t fail to raise alarm bells in the redhead’s mind).
“She’s territorial,” Yachi managed, eventually, and Hinata had to go through all of the lessons the girl kindly drilled into his head in order to remember what that word meant.
“Oh. So why would she be interested in a guy at a host club? Isn’t he, like, one step from prostitution?” Yachi choked at that, shaking her head to fight down any amusement.
“I don’t think she thinks those other girls are a threat.”
Hinata hummed, “Well, she keeps glaring at me, so maybe she’s just a little dumb and confused.”
Yachi pursed her lips, barely able to keep her laughter contained.
•
Hinata wondered why Yachi’s schoolbag was tossed into the pond. Alongside it sat his, and as he began running through the halls to go attend to the issue, he spotted that client.
Hinata quite pointedly ignored her, continuing down the halls and stairs. He felt a small flame of rage light up in his chest at seeing Yachi’s notebooks scattered across the surface of the water, covers just buoyant enough that the papers were only starting to soak in water, and he prioritized getting her items out and organized before he could even ponder grabbing his own.
He’d been in the pond for twenty minutes, thankfully having managed to salvage most of her things, before a voice broke through the quiet of the grounds. “What are you doing?”
Hinata didn’t need to glance over his shoulder to know it was Oikawa, his voice light and airy, with a hint of playful exasperation.
“I can’t find my wallet.”
“You’ll get sick with your clothes all wet. Can’t you just let it be?”
Oikawa didn’t seem to understand the necessity of what he’d likely consider pocket change. “I need the money for food. I’m not going to get paid for a couple days and I don’t want to starve in the meantime.”
There was a lengthy period of silence. He wondered if Oikawa left, trying desperately to make out the shape of his coin pouch amidst the colorful pebbles lining the bottom of the pond. He nearly growled in frustration as a series of ripples tore through surface, though as he heard the telltale sound of someone wading through water, he spotted the brunette with his pants rolled up and bare feet gingerly resting on the stone.
“What are you doing?” Hinata quarried, eyebrows drawn up in confusion.
Oikawa’s face was concentrated yet somewhat peaceful as he copied Hinata’s searching motions, fingers gliding across the smooth pebbles. A few strands of hair caught the water and were left with shimmering drips that occasionally fell back into the pond.
“I’m helping.”
He never turned to look away from the bottom, focused mostly on the task at hand. Even his distant, deeper, and yet airier voice conveyed how little attention he was giving his words, and Hinata could only wonder if this was the most genuine he’d ever heard the other in their past week of interactions.
“Why?”
“Well, why not? I mean, everyone tells me I’m dripping with good looks,” he chuckled, the breathy quality sending something through Hinata that made him duck his head down and resume seeking his funds.
The two sought it out for over ten minutes before getting any results. The small coin purse, shaped like a small black crow, sat cradled in Oikawa’s palm. He proffered the item to Hinata with a wink, the redhead unclasping it and sighing in relief at the dryness of its interior.
“Thanks, Grand King.”
As Hinata beamed up at the other, the reflected light from the water seemed to hit Oikawa’s eyes harder, as though a flare traveled across the distance between the earth and the sun solely for this moment. He held up a peace sign and smiled back at the other, wondering if such luminance could ever be reproduced.
(If it could, then he’d love to bottle some up and save it for a rainy day, but maybe there was a hint of greed in that thought.)
•
“Oh, dear, I can’t believe someone would do such a thing!” the client across from him cooed. Her face tilted down a bit, and shadows draped across her eyes and cheeks. “Still, I can’t believe you got Tooru to scrape through that filthy pond for you. He always has been excessively charitable.”
“Yeah,” Hinata mumbled, stuffing a bite of cake into his mouth. The sweetness was significantly dampened by the presence of the girl. What was her name, again? His focus shifted to trying to recall it.
“I couldn’t imagine having so little shame that I’d be a charity case, though. I mean, doesn’t it embarrass you to have Tooru waiting on you hand and foot?”
Yachi, who’d been standing just within earshot, turned to their conversation just then, a disgruntled look on her face. Despite the anxiety that spread quivers across her body from her sternum, she frowned heavily and managed to inquire, "Aren’t you just jealous?”
Something flashed across the clients face then: anger, most likely. Hinata was drawn out of his attempt at recollection by her hand shooting across the table to yank him over to her, a scream escaping her as they toppled to the ground. Teapots and cups burst apart upon contact with the pink tiles, some of the tea soaking into the knees of his gifted uniform pants as it puddled.
Hinata’s palms and wrists ached from the way they slammed against the floor, on either side of the client’s head. People were quick to crowd them, murmuring and gazing in horror.
“Help!” she cried, “He attacked me! He just jumped across the table, I--” she scooted out from under him, and he slowly sat back on his haunches before accidentally falling onto his bottom. The discomfort of his soaked clothing did little to distract him from the confusion welling within.
She crawled over to Oikawa whence the brunette stepped closer to the scene. He was the first one over, ever keen regarding the club’s new pet, but only after surveying the situation did he close the distance.
Her fingers clutched at Oikawa’s pant leg, creasing the fabric as she shivered with tears in her eyes. Hinata’s jaw was slack. Did he do something? Did he try to do anything to her while he was spaced out? He was sure she pulled him, but should he have been expecting such a thing and made to avoid it?
He slowly turned his eyes over to Yachi, whose face was creased in an anger he’d never quite seen before. Her meekness took a sideline to the frustration and disbelief drawing together her brows and tugging her lips downwards.
“Tooru, please, you have to do something. He was like an animal, I--”
Her desperate face fell into shock as warm water rushed across her face and scalp, soaking the top of her uniform dress. Her panting became a squeaking staccato, and she blinked as her brows drew up steadily.
“Tooru?” she whispered, before whipping her head around to the Miya Twins, who glared down at her, unimpressed. “What are you doing? Didn’t you hear me?! I--”
“God, you pigs sure like to squeal, don’tcha.”
Osamu glanced down at the jug in his grasp. “I oughtta grab another one at this rate.”
“Why did you--” Hinata startled as Yachi stepped in front of him.
“You pulled him to you! I saw it! You were envious that he got Oikawa-san’s attention and tried to frame him!” she blurted.
More whispers and gasps spread across their audience easily. Oikawa’s face was steely and impassive as the client stared up at him with a cocktail of hurt and anger. “You can’t believe her, Tooru, I--”
“You really are beautiful,” Oikawa interrupted, his fingers gliding under her chin. “But nothing more than that. It seems you’re not classy enough for our club, my dear, and so I’ll have to ask you to leave.”
Tears streamed down her cheeks, Hinata’s heart clenching with a mild bit of sympathy, before she got to her feet and took off, her broken shout of, “Tooru, you idiot--!” echoing through the clubroom.
“I’m sorry, ladies; regrettably, we’ll have to cut our time short for today.” Tsukishima said with his paper-thin smile. It dropped as Akaashi continued for him,
“All of you will receive a full refund of the costs for today’s appointments. You can also use those same funds to reschedule, if you’d like to. We deeply apologize for the inconvenience.”
The girls cooed and cheered, and Tsukishima barely kept his frown from forming.
Eventually the clients filed out of the clubroom, exclaiming their farewells to the hosts. Hinata and Yachi silently stared after them, not wanting to look back to the hosts surrounding them.
“So, what should I do about you?” Oikawa said, drawing Hinata’s reluctant attention. The appraising look and grasp of his own chin were not reassuring at all; Hinata and Yachi glanced at each other and gulped. “Hmm, Tsukki-chan?”
“Don’t call me that,” the bespectacled blonde groused, before pushing up his glasses and smirking. “Since our guests had to leave and receive refunds, our profits for today are at a zero. And because of the drama earlier, we have a few broken teapots and cups from one of our specialty sets, as well as a table that needs to be repaired. To make up for all the damages and overall loss... Akaashi?”
The ravenette typed into a calculator quickly. Bokuto hid behind a sinisterly-grinning Kuroo with his fingers half-heartedly covering his eyes from fear of Akaashi. Akaashi presented the calculator screen within a second.
“Approximately one hundred thousand yen.”
“H-Hundred...”
“Thou...-sand...” Yachi’s eyes swam. Hinata caught her as she half-fainted, both of them shaking with tears welling in their eyes.
“That’ll be added onto your debt, you two. You’d better hope one of your descendents pays it off.” Tsukishima’s smirk shaved additional years off their lives, and Hinata had to pull Yachi’s soul back from the air to shove it back into her body.
“Darn rich people,” he whined. Kuroo cackled.
••
That was fun ngl. Like, some things go slightly different than in OHSHC, but overall it has some of the same vibes I think
I feel like Bokuto and Akaashi as Honey and Mori respectively would be funnily fitting despite the roles I have them in here, but I think I’m gonna be fluid and loosey-goosey about who is which OHSHC character most of the time (since Noya isn’t entirely Honey-like and there are lots of people who can fit different roles). Kenma and/or Kuroo can fit Kyoya and Tamaki roles too, now that I think about it. Damn this show for having so many characters.
Also this is a nightmare to tag since a lot of characters have multiple spellings for their names and there are so many characters. Heck, that’s why I wrote all the ships at the top!
Anyway, I hope y’all liked it! Might write more if asked
Also, should I cross-post some of this to Ao3?
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