#i already have some examples in my brain i could use hmmmmmm

[monsterbisexual]

having some thoughts......need to watch/read/etc more weird stuff

anyway society if i wasnt at work n could make weird posts n watch weird movies </333

feel free to rec stuff btw if u wanna!!

[evakuality]

For your writer ask game: 👻, 😢 & ⭐️ :)

Oooh, thanks!  Some interesting ones here!

👻- 2 or 3 sentences from something you haven’t posted yet. 

Hmmmmmm.  Literally all I have for this is the collab I’m doing with @hjertetssunnegalskap1 because it has entirely taken over my brain.  So let’s find something from there.

Matteo leans back against the wall next to it, sighs his relief.  It can’t be a good sign when he’s this relieved when Sara leaves his presence.  He pulls out a smoke, lights up and drags the crisp tang of the nicotine into his lungs.  Closes his eyes to savor the feeling, then looks to the sky when he blows the smoke out.

When he drops his eyes again, David is standing in front of him, a light smile in the corners of his lips and a tilt of amusement to his head.

😢- a line that made you cry

I kind of don’t usually write stuff that would make me cry, tbh.  The closest I probably came was way way back in the mists of time when I wrote You’re my (arche)type, and Even’s been so carefully trying to make sure that everything works out okay and he forgot that the people around him have autonomy and will talk to each other.  It’s the morning after Isak stays for the first time and he finds out a lot of the stuff that Even’s been keeping from him.  The lines around that moment were pretty intense and I didn’t cry exactly but I felt for him.  So, it’s more than one line but here you go (it’s an au where everyone has a fairytale archtype, and so there is a reference to Even’s type in this bit):

“But, I do have a girlfriend, even if it’s not working right now.  And …” his shoulders drop as he makes this final confession, the one that will send Isak away forever, the one Even already knows is a deal breaker for him.  “… and I am a Beast.”

The words hang there in the kitchen, his father’s movements stilled beside the stove and his mother’s expression as he glances over at her is wary but proud.  Even slowly lifts his eyes back to Isak’s and the pain he sees there is intense, and it settles something cold and dark onto his chest.

⭐️- how do you get your inspiration?

This is going to sound really bad, but it’s generally a reaction to something that’s going on in what I’m reading.  If there’s a lot of one type of thing, I tend to try to think how I could subvert it in some way.  So, for example, to use Archetype again, there was a time when Even was often shown as a really dominant alpha type of character in fics, and that never really gelled with how I read the character.  So I thought ‘okay, so what might that look like if he was supposed to be like that but he didn’t like it and didn’t want to be that guy?’ and so then Beast Even appeared and he really struggled against society’s expectations of what a Beast might be like.

Other than that, I often start writing canon compliant things because the canon itself is making me feel giddy and excited and I HAVE to get it out somehow.  A good example of something like that is Learning to breathe, my first Druck fic.  After that pool scene, I had to write about it.  I did it so fast, much faster than I usually do, because I was just swimming in all these feelings.

I’m answering questions off this list, if anyone wants to send me any

[amwritingmeta]

Since Sam and Dean don't exist in au, Michael and Lucifer definitely skipped the true vessel bs then went to war with angels and demons in their true forms (angel blades sticking out of the ground proves it). That means au Cas is in his true form and Jimmy Novak is probably dead in a ditch somewhere. I hate the idea of Jack resurrecting Cas cause that'd be too easy and basically turns him into god. So when Misha comes back, how can they bring Cas back with him?

Nonny 1: i saw the ask in which the Anon is wondering if they would make Misha play AU Cas, but i don’t believe they would do that, in fact it really wouldn’t make a lick of sense, because Cas in that AU aint Cas, what made Cas the angel we know and love is that he was the one who pulled Dean out of hell, Dean who changed him and taught him free will, and in that AU dean was never born to begin with, so AU Cas would be just an angel.

Nonny 2: Hello! I was wondering about the possibilities and any possible theories on the bizzaro-Narnia AU-where-Dean-and-Sam were never born world. Do you think that it could be explored, or that we might see AU! Cas? Not as in an outright replacement, but maybe 1 or 2 episodes with him as a commander of a garrison of angels? You’re by far one of the most optimistic meta writers I’ve met and I really need some happy speculation to get me through hellatus. Sorry if you’ve covered this before. Thanks!

Hello, lovelies!

So, three wonderful asks that all have to do with this AU World that’s been so suddenly thrown into the mix. I’m glad I get to tackle this topic! Thanks fawert and Nonnies! (and forgive my reply taking sooo long!)

The basis for the following speculation is that I believe the narrative is closing as the writers are moving it towards endgame. Everything in S11-S12 is telling me this because S11 began the movement by forcing Dean Winchester to admit to himself that he is properly, truly, madly and deeply in love with Cas. Read more on my thoughts about this here.

In short:

Dean Winchester is our Protagonist

His character growth is what informs the narrative

He wouldn’t have been set on this particular path of character growth if he hadn’t met Cas

Dean’s growth is what is allowing him to let go of Sam, ending the brodependency, and granting him the insight to find his true self-worth, through self-acceptance

His self-acceptance has a whole lot to do with letting go of his toxic masculinity spiel

His letting go of this will be most clearly demonstrated by him fully embracing the fact that he’s in love with a man

Happiness with the man he loves is Dean’s reward for completing his character growth, reaching the internal goal of his character arc: which is self-acceptance

(yeah) (he knows)

Now, I don’t know that this is where they’re taking the narrative, okay? Let me be perfectly clear about that. No one knows exactly what they’re planning (except the fuckers themselves) and they might go absolutely crazy in order to drag the narrative out for six more seasons.

However - and this is a big however, you guys - the writers have consistently, and with extreme due diligence, built a slow-burning love story between Dean and Cas that is beginning to peak - that’s what S12 gave us - meaning that going absolutely crazy to drag this love story out will jar with everything that’s come before.

Let’s not forget that our story is about love, and sacrifice, and love.

Love is mentioned twice by Metatron because our story has always been foremost about love.

The love between the brothers and the love between Dean and Cas. Without all that love - no sacrifice. (or manpain) (oh the manpain)

The fact of the matter is that the love between the brothers was set up from season one to evolve beyond their brodependency, and it would never have done that if it hadn’t been for Cas affecting Dean’s character growth. 

I know I’ve said it before, but hell, let’s say it again: 

the Destiel love story is integral to the narrative because it informs Dean’s character arc. 

And Dean is our Protagonist. 

His character arc informs the entire narrative and every single secondary character arc within it. Including Sam’s. It’s true!

Here’s a very recent example that proves it:

Dean shooting off that grenade launcher, and tearing down that first symbolic wall in 12x22, is what set off the amazing steps away from the brodependency that both brothers had managed by the end of 12x23. 

Dean shooting off the grenade launcher:

a) injured Dean, which brought him tob) telling Sam to go lead the attack on the BMoL without him

I could meta about the symbolism here until my fingers go numb, but this is not the post for that, safe to say: Dean tearing down walls is what led to him letting go of parenting!Dean, finally seeing Sam as the adult he is and being able to place his full faith in his little brother’s ability to manage by himself, and to lead, without Dean there to watch over him or guide him.

Fuck. Yes.

But to surmise: it was Dean the Protagonist who had to let Sam go - Sam couldn’t break free from Dean on his own.

Because Dean is the one who, primarily, needs to learn the big lessons that the narrative have been setting up for him through his character arc.

So my point is:

if they hurt the Destiel love story 

this love story, which is the very cornerstone of Dean’s character growth

by turning the tables and stalling said love story by, oh, I don’t know

bringing Cas back, but as a different character 

a character that doesn’t actually know Dean or have the shared history with him that our Cas does

->then they hurt the entire narrative they have built

And I cannot for the life of me believe that they would ever do that.

Not after nine years of carefully keeping this love story burning, removing a few coals now and again so that it wouldn’t flame up and singe the more delicate viewers, but still allowing it enough air to spread a lovely, warm glow, and (okay, enough of that now) (fine)

But you get my meaning here? Let’s boil my meaning down even further:

AU!Cas would effectively kill the love story

which would severely damage the overall narrative

would rob Dean and, by extension, Cas of their endgame rewards

which would cancel out the deeper purpose for all of Dean and Cas’ character growth

And so the mere thought makes absolutely no sense anywhere at all.

There will absolutely NOT be an AU!Cas to replace our Cas.

And I could slap Misha Collins for even hinting at the possibility of it, because he must know that all he’s doing is setting the speculation ball careening through the fandom. And it’s sadistic. (you are a sadist Misha Collins)

(see???)

fawert: I’ve already told you in a different post how much I loved your observations regarding the probable rules and circumstances of the AU World - eye-opening and I’m bound to agree with you because it looks the most plausible and, also, it’s gorgeous! And feeds my brain with all types of scenarios for Mary trying to survive that dystopian, war ridden place. *crackle*

Now, as for how they can bring Cas back, I’m speculating on what so many have already pointed to and speculated about (props to those who mentioned this first, I don’t know exactly who you are, sorry):

Spec 1 - Jack’s grace still lingering in Cas and reviving him

Though I sincerely don’t know how likely this is, I still feel the writers left themselves a loophole, because that grace can clearly perform fucking miracles and it was so obviously shown to us in 12x23 that Cas still possessed some of it, even if he couldn’t use it to ice Lucifer.

There should be a reason for it planted as a visual when he heals Dean. That visual didn’t need to be there: Cas tells Dean in dialogue that he can’t use the nephilim’s power anymore because killing Dagon took both him and Jack, so why the visual? If the lingering nephilim grace is useless anyway, why have Cas use it in order to heal Dean at all? Why not have Cas simply use his own powers, as he has all season? Hmmmmmm. *brow in deep creases*

So I strongly speculate that what we have been shown is to set up that Castiel the angel of the Lord is dead. Him dying an angel death for the first time ever was not for nothing. Dean’s angel is truly gone, and should be mourned.

But also because of this angel death, and thanks to the lingering nephilim grace, Cas is about to finally get the full human experience. *crossing fingers*

Spec 2 - Jack reviving Cas

Personally, I don’t think this is likely. I was convinced Kelly would survive the birth, that Jack would end up healing her or saving her rather than killing her, and her “I love you” right before Jack bright-light shone his way into the world makes me feel slightly vindicated. Because Kelly is the Good Mother who loved her son and willingly sacrificed her life to ensure he was born with all of his powers.

So, to my mind, baby Nephi was Good.

But Jack, in the form he is in now, leaving smouldering footprints on the floor, scaring the bejesus out of Sam: this Jack is most likely not going to simply touch Cas and bring him back to life. 

Firstly (and to me, most importantly): because Jack reviving Cas immediately and somehow brainwashing or controlling him or convincing him to stay as his Protector cancels out Cas’ dramatic death, and the effect it should have on our Protagonist. 

Cas died to further Dean’s character growth (and ultimately his own as well, of course) but if Jack revives Cas now, there’s no growth to be had for Dean.

We have seen Dean bereaved of Cas: Dean drinking himself into a near year long stupor

We have seen Dean pine for and wait for Cas: he kept Cas’ coat in the boot of his many, many different cars, expecting his return

We have seen Dean fight for Cas: he spent a year in Purgatory, keeping himself alive with the one aim to bring Cas home

We have yet to see Dean Winchester grieve for Cas without getting stuck in one of the 5 stages (and yes, everyone grieves differently, but for the sake of my argument, I’m assigning Dean the need to move through all 5 stages)

We have never seen him truly, deeply believing there is no hope for Cas to ever come back to him and accept this as a fact that is entirely out of his power of control.

For us to watch him, for the first time, go through each of the 5 Stages of Grief, he is first going to have to bury Cas’ body, put it in the ground, and yes, deny, bargain, get angry, get depressed over Cas’ death - he needs to go through all of this - but once he reaches acceptance for the first time in his entire character arc, then I would love it if this is the moment Cas is revived and finds his way back to the brothers. I would absolutely fall to pieces with happiness.

Especially if it’s human!Cas who’s finding his way back. I mean, just imagine the possibilities for character growth, for the joint love story to evolve and deepen into something undeniable.

It would do such wonders for both Dean and Cas’ character arcs if Cas came back as a human and came back early in the season, so that we get to watch him do all that character growth, finding his place, finally, in himself, and through it, with the brothers, within the world at large and, ultimately, taking up the space next to Dean in the Impala. 

(Because Sam will be MoLing)

Secondly: because Jack reviving Cas immediately and somehow brainwashing or controlling him or convincing him to stay as his Protector only works if Jack indeed chose Cas as his Protector, but, to my mind, based on how I read the narrative of 12x19 and baby Nephi being good, Jack didn’t chose Cas: baby Nephi chose Cas.

The nephilim’s angelic side chose Cas.

Jack, as I see it, is the Opposite of the nephilim’s angelic side, and so I would put forward the possibility that this Newborn Jack will not feel tied to Cas in any way.

Newborn Jack could, absolutely, be the spitting image of Daddy Devil. Newborn Jack could be the Corruptor and Deceiver, and I believe this is the whole point for the Opposites, shown to us in how baby Nephi was presented through the 12x19 narrative rejecting Evil at every turn, and how we are presented to Newborn Jack through Sam finding him, smiling, in the corner of the darkened nursery.

(first impressions will hopefully not last)

Now, here’s what I’d like, because my brain *crackles* with the dramatic conflict:

Rather than Newborn Jack darting off - which is one of the possibilities at the back of my head - I think they’ll choose to keep Newborn Jack with the brothers, keep his actual intentions ambiguous, and leave us wondering whether he’s an angel or a demon or a little bit of both, but mostly demon, it seems, or is he actually good? Hmmmmm? We just won’t be able to properly tell.

I can see them playing with a Dexter sense of danger around Newborn Jack, where he’s observing them all like they’re lab rats, but where, ultimately, their behaviour and TFW placing true faith in him making the right choices will lead to him connecting with his inherent Humanity.

Spec 3 - Regarding the bizzaro-Narnia AU-where-Dean-and-Sam were never born world

(Would love for this to be the official fandom denomination, btw - let’s throw it in the hat!)

Do I believe they’ll explore this world?

Yes: if the question is with regards to Mary being trapped in it.

They may choose to build it as part of Mary’s self-acceptance arc, where she gets to see what the world would be like without her boys and what her choices actually did for the world. Namely: save the hell out of it. It could be poignant that Luci is stuck over there as well, but more for the plot than his character arc, I should think. He’ll come back all threatening and badass, I’m sure.

No: if the question is regarding expanding the SPN Universe to now include this other dimension, and possibly more of them, spinning the series into a time-traveling multidimensional party cracker of narrative possibility that will last for years and years to come.

No.

I sincerely doubt it.

Because of the aforementioned reasons of Dean as our Protagonist and his character arc and growth and endgame and building the narrative around this for twelve years. (more or less for twelve years) (I know Sam started out as the Protagonist) (though I would like to call bullshit on this for reasons) (whatever)

Spec 4 - Do I believe the bizarro-Narnia AU-where-Dean-and-Sam were never born world will affect the SPN reality we’ve come to know and love?

Possibly.

I can see something slipping through the cracks. Or Mary and Lucifer both returning with new information and it becomes a race to outwit the other, find the key to the universe first (or is that what Jack is supposed to be) or something crazy and huge like that.

But I am of the impression that the AU World is nothing more than a plot device, used to show us - the audience - what our world would be if it weren’t for the Winchesters.

As the narrative has entered the final act, as they are tying it up, looping it back to the beginning with callback after callback, this underlining of how all the misery, and heartbreak, and manpain that the brothers Winchester have been put through, has all been worth it makes perfect sense, and underpins the validity of the narrative as a whole. Which I like.

I truly can’t see the AU World serving any further purpose than that of the pure plot device that was Purgatory, which the writers cleverly used to show us exactly how much Cas means to Dean, and vice versa, and to grant Cas the chance to repent, so that he’d be able to believably move on from the severe error in judgment he was guilty of when he let the Leviathan into the world. This time it’s Mary’s turn to repent and to forgive herself, which goes nicely with her and Cas paralleling each other’s arcs for all of S12.

Spec 5 - Will we see an AU!Cas in any shape or form?

Possibly through Mary, yes, but I sincerely doubt they’d bring AU!Cas into the middle of the heartbreak that will be grieving!Dean. I mean, they could. They might very well do that. But it’d be fucked up. And I agree with both fawert and our other Nonny who pointed out that Castiel would, most likely, not even be possessing Jimmy Novak anymore. (aka Misha Collins) (…the sadist) 

So what would be the point of bringing Castiel the angel of the Lord into the mix?

Castiel in our reality is dead. He has died. 

We need to feel his death with Dean. 

We want to feel it with him, not be distracted by some Cas wannabe stomping onto the scene, taking up our Cas’ vacant space. No, thank you. Right?

I think the writers will want to torment us (they are sadists along with Misha the sadist Collins) (all writers are) (yours truly included) (so, you know, stones thrown at glass and all that) Anyway, they won’t just revive Cas within minutes or even within the first episode. I believe he’ll be put in the ground. Or, to be honest, I would like for him to be put in the ground. Obviously they won’t burn him.

So, to point to the most important sentence on offer in this post:

There will not be an AU!Cas to replace our Cas.

Ever.

(also Misha Collins is a sadist)