#i also like the parallel between he and sahar

[anonymous-tals]

Harry has presented himself thus far as being incredibly smart and capable of being able to take on any challenge, no matter how great; it’s just inherent to who he is. His people are highly, highly intelligent, and they’ve guided and helped the humans for thousands of years. But in season three, we start to see things aren't exactly as one might have assumed. We learn he was not chosen to do this mission cause he was outstanding in some way, he wasn't even chosen at all. He volunteered. And later that season, we find out that, although he is way smarter than most humans, on his planet, he was "a C student at best".

Furthering his inadequacy, back in season two, he fears rejection from the other alien for having become "too human". And then, akin to how we see him act towards humans in regards to their comparable lack of intelligence, he rejects this alien when he finds out they're likely more "human" than he is. Sure, he may have some emotions or whatever, but he's not THAT human. Uhhh, weirdo, amirite, guys? We should all reject him instead.

He projects his insecurity by putting down others who are less smart, special, unemotional than him to make himself feel better about his own failure to live up to expectations, to prove himself worthy of praise, worthy period. And I don't know how this would've manifested before he started feeling emotions and stuff, cause, like...I'm not sure exactly what that looks like, but at least now, he's starting to feel the weight of these things that make him different, and not the good kind of different; he's not "special". He's...average...at best.

[itsfunny-causeitstrue]

Season 2 Episode 2: Family

Episode Reviews: 1 | 3

All abroad the angst train!! It was really interesting to see the different types of family and their parenting styles - not just Nick and Charlie's! I adore the fact that my faves Taoelle are getting a good amount of time dedicated to developing them and their relationship. Also we get to meet some new friends, Sahar, Felix and Naomi!! David and Ben are also here, being pricks as always. 🙄

Lil funny sidenote: the GSCE scenes gave me such intense flashbacks to my own - can't believe it's been almost decade since I've had mine 😂

Now onto the Spoilers:

- I really appreciated seeing all the different parents and the transitional montage of Meet The Parents was a stroke of genius. It was a really cool and quick way to show how everyone was progressing in school and personally

- As I said in this post, while Jane was a little harsh and could have explained her reasoning better, she was right to do that. It's just the boys acting like the end of the world. Which as a teenager I remember what it feels like. But do not demonise Jane for doing what is best for her kid. It's not like they can't see each other at school or text. She might be the strictest parent on the show but yet this was still pretty mild compared to what I've gone through.

- I do think it's sweet that Charlie does The Most to try to meet up with Nick and it's very realistic in terms of teenage shenanigans. I do wish he had just talked to his mom. Now he's gotta deal with the consequences of his actions.

- Ben and David,,, where do I even start?? These two need to leave Nick the hell alone.

- They managed to give David an even more douchey hairstyle than in the comics. My head started throbbing the moment he came on screen. The climax of the episode with the Nelsons was done really well. David is really such a prick and everyone acted their asses off. Thank you to Sarah for calling out her shitty son, I bet she has never wanted to throw hands with him more than in that moment.

- As for Ben, he needs to stop starting shit with Nick in Study Hall and leave Imogen the hell alone (I wish she would listen to Nick). I know I shouldn't hate on a child but by god is Ben a demon.

- On to new friends: Sahar is the cutest person in the world!! I love her so much and can't wait to see more of her soon

- Felix and Naomi!! So glad Alice decided to write in new characters. They are both so cool and I'm glad Elle will have new friends in art school.

- Though this does bring in angst for Taoelle and I am not complaining cos it's done so well and isn't toxic. Hella realistic and it just made my heart burst they got a huge amount of time as the B plot this episode. The fact that it eventually pushed Tao to admit to the boys that he likes her!!

- I also LOVED seeing their parents. Tang Xu is just such a wholesome mom and very different from your typical Asian parent. I loved that Alice turned that trope on it's head. I really adored seeing more of Tao and his relationship with his mom. We also got hear more about his dad! I love love that Tang saw parallels between her relationship and Taoelle - what a cutie

I cannot wait to see all of this progress over the season. Overall, while not so much of a comfort ep, the angst was top tier!! I love all of them so much and can't wait for things to get better

[pro-bee]

“Where to now Ziva?”

“There’s one more thing I have to do before I can put this all behind me, and this time, I have to do it alone.”

(part 1 of this post here.)

Let’s get to the cute part first:

HE WIPES A TEAR FROM HER CHEEK

SHE BOOPS HIM ON THE NOSE

THIS IS THE SOFTEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN IN THE HISTORY OF THIS SHOW

Seriously, I can’t believe we got to see that, because it is so out of the ordinary. Yes, we get hugs, the occasional temple kiss, the soft words of affection whispered in each other’s ear, etc., but this is so intimate, so familiar.

(In a way entirely other than the romantic relationships on the show)

To see that complete openness between the two characters, knowing their history? It’s remarkable.

I know the “Gibbs is Ziva’s Surrogate Dad” myth is overhyped, but in this instance, it is completely believable to me. That is how the actors are playing it, the writers are playing it, the emotion – that’s the bond that exists between them. Obviously Ziva will never replace Kelly to him, just like Gibbs can’t erase Eli or her mom or even Ari or Sister!Tali, but on the flip side, they found each other. Ziva filled a void in his life the way he did in hers. He saw in her someone who needed protecting when she’d never really had it in her life, a chance to grow into herself, and he saw in her what it really meant to have someone look out for you, care about your well-being first, put your personhood before your usefulness.

Gibbs gave Ziva the space to be able to grow and become her own person, make her own choices (good or bad), learn how to be part of a family. (And I posit that that that security is what allowed herself to open up to Tony.) So she will forever be thankful to him for that, I’m sure. And that is what this moment is about. That they may have hurt each other throughout this, and throughout the last six years, but they will always have this deep connection. Arguably, they will always be family to each other – which I would bet dollars to donuts that that will be the point of this arc once all the reunions happen – and sometimes family screw up, but in the end, they love each other and stand by each other. (If you’re lucky, obviously.)

So that’s what is happening here in those two gestures. Gibbs reaches out to her, touches her for the first time since she’s been back, still too afraid to hug her, as though she would crumble into dust in his arms. And she reaches out to him, in an adorable little gesture that would be absolutely forbidden by anyone else on this show. But again, it’s their moment of intimacy, as though they’d gone through their entire lives doing this. (It’s also such a mom thing for her to do. And yes, I know, this was probably more Mark and Cote reacting to each other than Gibbs and Ziva, but I’ll take it. They do bring out the best in each other.)

(Also: anyone else have flashbacks to EJ asking Ziva about her future when he asks her “where to”?)

Which leads me to the main question:

What is Ziva up to?

Now, I’d like to think that the killing spree is over, because there was such a sense of peace in Ziva that I’d hate to think that she has to do this all over again in the morning.

I’d like to think that whatever she has left to do is more of the “wash away your sins” type thing, or, like, visiting Ari’s grave (or her sister’s or mother’s or father’s) to get whatever it is out of her system, or visit the camp Sahar was held at to get a sense of what she went through and why she went through what she did, or visit Morgan Burke’s family to finally come face-to-face with the woman whose life she vowed to save and the family with whom she reunited, the case that drew her out of hiding.

(Or, quietly reunite with Tony and Tali before they’re ready to join the rest of the world, but that is too much to hope for.)

But with the benefit of hindsight, now that the next episode has aired, yeah, there’s a sense of foreboding there. We now know Ziva’s disappeared again, off the grid, so she’s clearly got one last score to settle, or something. Gibbs has to let her go and spread her wings, but I’m sure something will go haywire, and this time he’ll find her, and they’ll face this together.

Except:

Tony calls.

Because of course he does.

Gibbs called him when she went missing, and I can only imagine how that conversation would have gone down had Tony actually picked up.

But now seems to be the moment of truth.

And one Ziva isn’t quite ready for?

“What did you say to him?” “Nothing. He should hear it from you.” “And he will.”

I just love love love that moment.

A) Because Tony’s presence is so felt throughout this whole episode, and especially here. He’s as connected to Ziva as Gibbs is, even if he isn’t physically present.

B) Gibbs just knows that Tony is Ziva’s person. (I mean, obviously Tali’s existence proves that.) He needs her as much as she needs him, and he absolutely needed to know if Ziva were still alive. (Except, he knows, duh.) Dad’s playing matchmaker.

C) I loooove the parallel between Gibbs holding up Tony’s unanswered call to Ziva here, and Ziva calling Gibbs at the end of PPF. Back then, Ziva didn’t know if she could muster up the courage to call Gibbs, to tell him what needed to be said, that she wasn’t coming home, but Tony gave her that courage. Here, she doesn’t answer the phone precisely because she knows she’s going home, and whatever she needs to say, she needs to do it in person.

D) I also love that as soon as Tony’s name flashes on Gibbs’ call display, it grounds her. Like, she’d just had this very intense, very emotional moment with Gibbs, but she sees Tony’s name and she drops back down to earth, remembers what she’s doing and why she’s doing it.

E) Also love that, like with Ducky earlier, she raises her chin in her old Ziva way to tell Gibbs she’s going to tell Tony herself (whatever it may be). It’s almost defiant, but all confidence. This isn’t a Ziva who’s scared of the consequence, who’s hiding for her feelings. On the contrary, she’s bolstered by them. She knows what she’s doing.

F) Tony knows.

G) He knows he knows he knows.

H) I don’t know what he knows, but he knows. Ziva says that with too much confidence for there not to be some sort of plan in place.

I) Her little smile as she leaves. She’s got a plan. She knows where she’s going. Even the parallel between her wild untamed hair at the beginning of the first episode giving her something to hide behind, and her tied-back hair letting us see her freshened-up face at the end are perfect bookends.

J) Ziva’s about to see her babies y’all.

K) So did Ziva stay at this cabin throughout these past two episodes? Cause… They don’t seem that secure for someone on the run from terrorists. Then again, we know Odette can fuck shit up, so maybe this compound really is the safest place for her to be.

WHEW.

OK.

I’m done.

I should have broken this up into multiple posts, but it is what it is.

I REALLY REALLY LOVED THIS YOU GUYS.

The end.

[seawolvesanddragons]

NCIS: Ziva's return

Oh man guys these two episodes were just....so much. My thoughts are all over the place but here are just moments I really liked.

-McGee. Everything about McGee. His first reaction to hearing she was alive and his immediate return to "I trust her, she nodded, Ziva said stand down" and later how they just reconnected and she asked immediately about his twins.

-Also McGee (and most everyone) had the instant reaction of "does Tony know?" "Do we owe Tony the truth"

-ZIVA WENT TO PARAGUAY oh man my heart

-everything about El, McGee and later Torres and then Jimmy trying to keep secrets and then freaking Casey out with "their weirdness"

-the writers made up for everything about Ziva's death by the raw emotion and honesty between her and Gibbs about her death and how he failed her.

-Jimmy and Tony have monthly "fortnite" nights that probably also turn into parenting advice (McGee probably has something similar with Tony. Maybe just straight video chats because fortnite is too like McGees real life)

-Torres thinking he could take Ziva.

-Ziva not only proving Torres wrong by thoroughly beating his ass, but also having picked up instantly his thing for Ellie and just being like "tell her you wuss" as someone who has been there for so long.

-Ziva's anxiety

-look the writers tried every fake out in the book to make us think Ziva went fully dark but no. She had the finger to get Tali's necklace. She played Sahar from the beginning instead of cooperating. She gave Gibbs a way to track her

-I wish they could have gotten Tony but I understand its not always possible. The sheer amount of times he was mentioned and the flashbacks, and the ending when he called is enough for me....for now. I hope we get a mention later about how they reconnected. Maybe even a family photo?

-All of Ziva's time in NCIS and the basement

-the writers did a good job with Ziva's storyline. The Sahar plot paralleled Ziva's life in many ways -female assassin, time in prison, while bringing it full circle to Ari. Ziva's storyline was balanced between Ziva as an individual, a mother and a daughter, her connection with Gibbs and McGee and Ducky to a lesser extent, and her romantic connection with Tony. I appreciated that.

-Rule 51 was really applicable here

-just....Ziva David was back on NCIS

[pro-bee]

“Identify yourself or I shoot!” “Dr. Donald Mallard. Is that sufficient not to be shot?” “Ducky!”

OH MY HEART I DIDN’T KNOW I NEEDED THIS

[this turned into a weird scene study type post, I apologize]

The relief in her face and the smile when she realizes it’s him MY HEART

“Gibbs said he would meet me here after. He didn’t. How long have you been waiting?��

“Four hours.” More like six years.

Oh, Ziva.

The dejection in her voice when she said, “he didn’t.” Like, she’s been waiting for Gibbs for years. (She’s been waiting for her dad her whole life.) And this tiny moment encapsulates it all -- he still isn’t where he’s supposed to be, and she’s fed up. Signals still crossed.

But then there’s Ducky -- sweet Ducky, he one-time confidant, who spent hours in the dark just hoping she’d come home -- and her heart thaws a little. Because this is really the first moment she’s relaxed in days, if not in months or years, and she can allow herself to breathe and rejoice in reuniting with an old friend.

Then she does that fucking adorable chin tilt. 

“Good to see you.” “You too.”

She’s battered and bruised and messy, but that’s a hint of Baby Ziva coming through, the girl who first met Ducky and used to escape to his morgue for tea time and life chats. And Ducky is so chuffed to see her that for a second she can probably forget about everything that’s happened.

So she steps in for a hug.

And it just hits me that that is the first physical contact (other than fighting) that Ziva has had in this arc.

She hasn’t hugged Gibbs, hasn’t even shaken his hand, or Bishop’s, or anything. She’s been standoffish and so have they, all for good reason, but that still lends itself to her current fight or flight mode.

But then she finds Ducky, and he’s warm and caring and uses that tone in his voice he always did with her, and she immediately softens. 

So she bridges that gap and initiates the hug, because she’s missed this. She’s always missed this. This is what she was trying to fix all along. 

[rest under a read more]

She breathes it in for a moment.

For all we know, this is the first hug Ziva has had IN YEARS. Please don’t go there I can’t handle that tonight.

Then he finds her pills on the floor. And immediately gets it.

“Do they help?” “Sometimes, yeah.”

Oh, Ziva. The fact that she can even admit that is a testament to both the battle she’s gone through and the growth she’s done. She could have been evasive or deflective about it, but no, she can admit to Ducky that yeah, she’s got mental health issues, and she has to take treatment for them. 

Because Ducky always did know.

“It’s hard to imagine what you must have been going through these last years. And alone.”

Quick, who’s gonna make the parallel between Ducky talking about Ziva’s struggles post-Somalia and here? He always did have a special bead into her psyche, and he’s one fo the few (if only) people Ziva would even remotely allow to broach the subject.

“I was not alone.”

Like I said the other night, for a second my breath caught because I thought I was gonna have a ‘VINDICAAAATIOOON” moment. Because as I’ve said, even thought logically I know Ziva’s been on the run for three years, my heart cannot take the thought of Ziva being separated from her family for that long so my happy-ish bubble is that she and Tony have reunited at some point. So I thought I was gonna be proven right.

Oh, pro-bee, sweet summer child.

“I had my daughter.”

Which is a major 😯moment... until you realize from the picture she shows Ducky, taken from a distance with a telephoto lens, that Ziva is actually stalking her family from a distance.

“It’s as close as I dared get.”

So no, pro-bee, there are no happy family reunions in the background. Instead, Ziva has been keeping tabs from afar, careful not to reveal herself, all so that she can get a glimpse of her daughter’s normal life. So that she can feel like she’s part of her daughter’s life, when she cannot be a part of her life.

It’s so sad and frustrating because THEY SHOULD HAVE THESE THINGS. But as usual, their timing sucks, and instead Ziva is just an interloper, watching her family’s life like it’s a TV show and not her own.

except that means she’s in Paris and Tony is in Paris which leads me to:

“Does Tony know?” “It’s complicated.”

THAT’S NOT A NO. 

I’m just saying.

(Also, good call everyone on the parallels between this scene and Ziva ranting about people using “it’s complicated” to avoid saying what they feel in season 4.)

“The less Tony knows, the better.”

HE KNOWS HE KNOWS HE KNOWS.

That’s all I’m going to say. Because THE LESS HE KNOWS IMPLIES HE KNOWS SOMETHING. 

Not once has anyone ever said he doesn’t know and it’s all so very pointed.

“I have known you a very long time, Ziva David. It’s hard to think of you going on that journey, not knowing that Gibbs had your back. He thought you were dead. We all did.” “I left him a trail, that only he could see.” “But he didn’t come looking. And now you believe that none of this will end unless you kill the person who is after you.” “And make no mistake, I will do whatever it takes to get back to my daughter. Whatever it takes. And nobody-- nobody is going to get in my way.”

Oh snap, mama bear is back.

For a second, she can be Young Ziva, talking about life with her old friend.

But the second Ducky touches that nerve-- about where Ziva has been, and to her mind, why she’s been out there so long by herself-- she snaps. Because it’s all tied into family and it’s all raw. Because she loves Gibbs but she’s disappointed in him. Because she loves Tony but she’s probably a little ashamed of how she got to this point. Because she loves Tali and is dying inside at missing out on her life. Because she loves Ducky and how he lends her an ear, but sometimes it hits a little too close to home and she’s not ready yet.

So she reminds herself of her mission. If she stops to think about the hows and whys, she might not survive. That’s why she’s so single-minded about going after Sahar, just like Dark Ziva of the AU.

Ducky isn’t necessarily judging, but his words are just as cautionary.

(Sidebar: The only way I think I’d actually be mad at Gibbs for not looking for Ziva when for all intents and purposes she was dead is if she literally sent him a message or left something for him with some sort of secret code they used that he ignored. That being said, I understand why Ziva is upset, but I think ultimately she’s going to realize that it wasn’t his fault he couldn’t read her mind.)

WHEW.

OK I’m definitely not gonna finish this tonight folks.