#i always feel bad posting twitter screenshots with no one to tag for credit but idk how else to do it??

[gayforcarstairsgirls]

Found this absolute gem of a comment on Twitter and I cannot stop laughing 💀💀

[blazinbeautywrites]

Man Crush Monday

Note: Due to the rampant uprising of plagiarism on this site and others I am stating once and once only that this is my ORIGINAL work. If I find out that you have stolen/taken any part of my work I will handle you and the situation the way I see fit.

None of the pics or gifs I use belong to me unless stated otherwise. Full credit goes to the originators of said gifs and pics.

A/N: I know this is a lil late lol but this is part of my Smut Week writing challenge which you can find here. Hope yall enjoy Producer Zab!

Length: 1,431 words

Genre: Smut

It was a rainy Monday night when Jade was scrolling through her IG feed. Just when she was bored of the app, she got a notification that her favorite producer, Zabdiel posted to his page. Clicking on it, Jade was met with the best site she’d ever seen. There he was, in all his sweaty glory, in his custom home gym. Jade moaned at the site and decided to be a little bold. She clicked on the post share button and posted him to her story with the caption “Mmmmm looking fine. #MCM” Unbeknownst to Jade, a fellow fan who followed her, saw her post and decided to screenshot it and tag him and Jade both. Jade was a singer with moderate fame and a small following on various social media sites so it was a big deal when she posted other celebs. Jade decided to call it a night and soon was off to sleep.

                                               _______________

The next morning she awoke to the incessant buzzing of her phone and a missed facetime from her bestie Malina. She didn’t bother with her notifications but chose to return Malina’s call.

“Malina girl what’s up.” Jade spoke as she sleepily rubbed her eyes.

“Well judging by your calm ass demeanor, I guess you haven’t been on ig or twitter?” Malina said.

“Uhhh no. Did something happen?” Jade asked.

“Girl! You’re blowing up! Apparently some fan accounts of Zabdiel caught your story and posted it on their pages. Well Zabdiel saw it and reposted it.” Malina said. Jade damn near short circuited when Malina said that last bit.

“Malina, imma call you back.” Jade hung up and immediately checked her instagram. She had thousands of notifications. She checked her dms and almost passed out. There on top was a dm from Zabdiel himself.

“Hey sorry if this is weird but I saw the post and I’m flattered. I’m going to this industry party later on tonight and I saw your name was also on the guestlist and was wondering if we could meet in person. 

Jade had to compose herself before she responded or else she’d definitely make a fool of herself.

“Shit I’m just now seeing this. Yeah I’ll be there tonight and I’d love to meet up. See you tonight!

Jade was just about to exit her dms when she saw he replied with a smiley face. She liked his response then sat her phone on her side table and decided to get ready for her day.

                                                 _______________

She arrived at the party a little late due to her indecisiveness. After she tore her closet apart, she finally settled on a simple black long sleeved crop top with a red plaid skirt, and some black doc martens.

She walked into the venue and was immediately hit with the smell of weed. She also took note that there was a group of ppl doing lines of coke at a vip table. Jade made her way to the open bar and ordered herself a watermelon whisky sour. Zabdiel spotted her as soon as she walked in thanks to her posting her look on ig beforehand. He made his way over to her and tapped her on the shoulder.

“Jade?” Zabdiel asked.

“Zabdiel! Hey!” Jade said. Giving him a hug. She marveled in his sweet, cinnamon scent.

“You’re better looking in person, well you fine as hell so I don’t know what I was expecting.” Zabdiel spoke.

“And you’re taller in person. Gotta admit, I was expecting a hobbit or something.” Jade joked. Zabdiel was amused, especially since he towered over her.

“Well I’m glad I could disappoint you.” He joked back. Their banter went on for a bit before they found a vip table to sit and talk. They talked about music and Jade was taken aback when Zabdiel admitted that he listened to her music.

“Wait really? Quick, what’s your favorite song?” Jade inquired.

“Oh that’s easy. Don’t Tempt me is by far my favorite song of yours. Your vocals were like fucking butter on that shit. I wanted to remix it when I first heard it.” Zab said.

“Well what stopped you?” Jade asked.

“I wanted you to sing on it.” Zabdiel said. Jade smiled at that and finished off her drink. After talking for a little bit more. Zabdiel and Jade made their rounds then dipped from the party. 

                                            _______________

Jade and Zabdiel were jamming out to some of his unreleased tracks in his home studio. Jade insisted on hearing some more of his music and Zabdiel happily agreed. They were going back and forth posting each other on their ig stories, causing a frenzy amongst their fans.

“I bet our fans are dying right now.” Jade laughed. A new unreleased track played and Jade got hype. She loved songs that made her wanna shake her ass and that’s exactly what she did. What she didn’t know was that Zab was filming and posting a video of her twerking to his ig story.

“Did I tell you how fine you were already?’ Zabdiel said as he moved closer to her. Jade smiled at him and turned to face him. She ran her finger down his chest and smirked.

“You did but I don’t mind you telling me again.” Jade smiled then leaned in, planting a soft kiss on his lips. She pulled back and smiled at him. She got up to move but he grabbed her and hoisted her up. She wrapped her legs around him as he trapped her between his warm body and the wall. Zabdiel kissed her, more passionately this time. He slipped his tongue in her mouth, making her moan as she sucked on it. They made out for a bit before Zabdiel fell back onto a sofa in his studio, Jade in his lap. She was grinding on him, feeling him get hard. Zabdiel moved his hand so that it was positioned near her warm heat. He started rubbing languid circles on her clothed pussy. Her moans were music to his ears. He sped up his movements until he felt her wetness seep through her underwear. Jade was a mess and he loved it.

“I wanna fuck you so bad. You want me to fuck you babygirl?” Zabdiel asked.

“Yes. I want you to fuck me so fucking bad.” Jade moaned. Zabdiel didn’t need to be told twice. He pushed his pant’s down just enough for his dick to pop out. Jade was mesmerized. He was bigger than she was used to but she was gonna take it like a big girl. Jade jerked him off a few times then spit on his dick. She pulled her underwear to the side and sank down on his length. She marveled at the fullness she felt. Zabdiel almost bust right then and there. 

“Fuck you’re so tight. You feel so good wrapped around my dick baby.” Zabdiel sighed. Jade started bouncing on his dick, biting her lip to conceal a loud moan that threatened to escape her mouth.

“God you feel so good inside me…...fuuuuuuuck.” Jade moaned. She got into a squat position and rode Zabdiel’s dick. He was in heaven and felt himself about to cum. He lifted her shirt, revealing her bare breast. He took her left one in his mouth while he played with the right. As he continued sucking on her left nipple, he moved his other hand to her clit and rubbed quick circles. Jade felt herself about to burst. Her movements got sloppier as her orgasm came crashing down upon her. Jade sat fully on his dick, attempting to milk him for all he was worth.

“Yes that’s it baby, ride this dick. Fuck I’m cumming shit…..shiiiiitttt.” Zabdiel moaned. Jade hopped off of him and got down on her knees. She caught every last drop of cum as it shot out of his dick. She stuck her tongue out to show him that she’d swallowed it all, Zabdiel smiled. She was a keeper.

                                            _____________

“You should produce my debut album.” Jade said as she laid on Zabdiel’s sofa watching him work.

“Damn. Dick was so good you're giving me jobs now?” He laughed.

“Don’t get cocky. I’ve always wanted to work with you but my management wouldn’t let me reach out to you. Thank god you slid in my dms though.” Jade said, giving him a smile.

“I’m glad too. If you really want me to, I'll produce your shit, on one condition though. You go out on a date with me.” Zabdiel said. 

“Hmmmm………..okay.” Jade said.

“So it’s a date?” Zab asked.

“It’s a date.” Jade smiled.

[meltalks]

my experience with addy / hiqey

i’ve contemplated posting my history with addy/hiqey for awhile now. my friends have encouraged me to do so, but due to her stance in the rpc i was always far too scared to do so. with all that is coming to light with her recently, not only is a huge weight off my shoulders as far as comfortably roleplaying as my escape, but knowing i’m not alone. my story with addy dates back to about september 2018. i do warn you this will be long, and i’ll try to include enough details to make it make sense while not dragging things on and on. this includes both my personal relationship with addy, as well as my experience with her in groups one where she she was an admin, and groups where i was an admin. as well as i believe we coadmined one together. i’ve put screenshots where i could, but some of this dates back to 2018 and i just don’t have access to those texts/rp accounts anymore.

a huge huge shout out to @bumkeyz for starting this avalanche, and for also supporting me one on one along with all my friends to feel safe enough to come forward. i’ll put all of my story under a read more. 

i’m going to start this by saying, my name is mel/melanie. you may have heard of me because back when addy was on rpslayed she wasn’t a big fan of me for awhile. predominantly my group the cape(?) the main isn’t up anymore so i can’t remember the exact @. i’m 21 years old, i will be 22 this month. i am married & i have a 3 year old daughter. this is information i don’t normally tell people i’m married / have a child, because well, i just feel a little judged. not because anything anyone has specifically done or said, but my own anxieties worried that people will think it’s weird to be married with a child and still in twitter rp. but it is important to my story with addy, which is why i’m letting everyone know right off the bat. 

i met addy in a group called producers. this group is from september 2018, so i’m not able to access anything right now, but am digging. i played (feel free to clown me) a g-eazy character named pierce. addy played a carlson young who’s name i can’t quite recall, and a gracie abrams named lolly. lolly & pierce became friends first & at some point we exchanged phone numbers. lolly & pierce flirted a lot, pierce was a player yada yada. eventually she ended up getting a different ship on lolly & pushed her carlson young onto pierce. pierce had a different love interest & didn’t end up going for her. this should’ve been the first negative sign/red flag. when pierce didn’t get with her character, she got very short & snarky ic and ooc. i believe both of her characters blocked me ic. even though pierce had made no ic promises to either to not be with someone else. we still maintained some level of friendship, but she was extremely weird about when i mentioned my ship. our friendship ended for a few months because of an incident that started ic between me and another character. the mun who played this character and i had bonded ooc over having been pregnant, we talked somewhat often about her dealings with her pregnancy. so i felt close enough/friendly enough with this mun that when something happened with her character & another character ic i dm’ed her to see if she was ok .long story short it went bad. i texted addy and told her that. i explained that i felt as if this mun & i were close and it was like dm’ing a friend. she held onto the fact that i shouldn’t have messaged her. when i didn’t immediately conform to her thought she kicked me out of the group. i was literally devastated. i loved that group, that character, my ship; all of it. she blocked me. though this story is 2 paragraphs long, it’s minor in the grand scheme of things. after this she smeared me on rpslayed for months until our paths crossed again in a group called glitches/glitch? we decided to squash our beef. this was december 2019.

in december 2019 we became friends again. honestly, i wish we never crossed paths. we got very close right away. she started telling me about a bad friendship she had, with someone we mutually knew from producers who i will not name since it’s not my place to put their name in this, and gained my sympathy. so much so that i ended a friendship with that person based solely on accusations that addy had told me. this is something that i can now realize i did wrong. i literally cussed this person out on the phone, solely based off things addy told me. i didn’t listen to someone who had been my friend for months, who defended me and picked me up when addy was tearing me down on rpslayed. i turned my back because addy convinced me to. she made this person seem awful. and again, i’m not naming them, but they know exactly who they are. and when thy do read this, i’m sorry.

now this is where things get out of hand. addy & i begun an intimate relationship. this is very personal, and i know some may pass judgment. but my husband was cool with it. addy also began talking to my husband, they texted. we had a groupchat. not to get into details about the relationship, but it was romantic. i am going to try and organize my thoughts. into themes.

money

this relationship lasted from about january ish to april romantically. i became addy’s crutch. she began going through personal issues with her family. and i started sending her money. to be frank i don’t remember how it started. i helped her with a job search, supporting her through these tough things that were going on. the money started casually i suppose. it was $10 for lunch. $25 for nails. but then it got worse. i bought her a phone. and slowly she grew more entitled to my money. asking for it. demanding it. guilting me when i didn’t give it. i lied to her and told her i lost my credit card and turned it off, but the guilt i had i told her that i could turn it on when she needed it. in screenshots i will post below she guilted me because i was sick and fell asleep before turning my card on. whether what she’s saying occured is true or not, it was just one example of how she made me feel. at one point she had my credit card on her uber, and charged nearly $400 of ubers on my credit card that i didn’t know about. she claimed it was an accident, because i let her put my card on her account under the agreement that she would turn it off. we had an agreement of what she would pay me back, some things that i got her were gifts and i didn’t want/need back. other things it was always an agreement she would pay me back. however whenever i would mention sending me a payment she had an excuse. one time even guilting me by reminding me how much better i have it than she does. all in all i spent / sent upwards of $2500/$3000 on her. only about $1500/$1800 i wanted back. i never saw a dime back, she never made good on her promises. at some point i gave up on asking.

ETA: as far as the uber situation goes, she did apologize and state that it was never on purpose when i found out that there was nearly $500 in charges. she said she thought she was charging her moms card. this shows a photo of 1 page of a 5 page statement of all the transactions put on my card by her in one month. there are only 6 of these transactions that were me. all of the ubers and venmo were her. i didn’t make her take off my card, which in hindsight was obviously a very bad decision. i just didn’t want to leave her stranded without ways to get home/where she needed to be. 

this is her demanding money. this was in the summer. at this point i was so manipulated by her/scared of her/scared of losing her that i didn’t know how to say no. in this instance i deflected with a picture of my child. screen shot.

in the screenshots here, this is where i fell asleep. i was on vacation and got extremely dehydrated in the sun. i literally felt so sick and she made me feel guilty for falling asleep. X X X 

this screenshot shows one of the times i actually asked her when she would repay me. at this point my credit card was nearly maxed out from ubers and sending her money. i was anxious about it and she made me feel bad for asking because her situation was worse than mine. this was the same day she asked me for $250 for a down payment on her car. X asking for money. X making me feel bad for asking when she’s gonna pay.

literally to this day im still in credit card debt because of this. yes i make good money, yes my husband does too. but credit card debt is hard and everyone knows it. i do fine for myself, but i don’t have hundreds extra to pay this down. 

also, i cannot locate the bank screenshot. but as recent as this february, six months since she spoke to me, she still had my card on her uber and usted it again. i can’t find the screenshot of the actual of the bank transaction because i’ve completely had to close that account for fraud and transfer my balance to a new card. but here is a screenshot from february 12 where i tell my friends i caught her doing it. X .

manipulation in groups/related to groups

orbis. i ran a group called orbis, it was a reality show group. addy was one of my friends who really wanted me to open it. all of my groups i’ve adminned i’m the lead. i just always take on that roll so i do get very busy with them on top of my real life. i work full time and i’m a mom so i spread myself thin.she made me feel really guilty for this, saying i wasn’t giving her enough time, she wasn’t anyones dog. so i posted my unfollow. then she told me i was stupid for doing that. so i deleted my unfollow. then she said that me deleting my unfollow showed that i didn’t really care how she felt. screens. X X

lumeer. very similar situation to above. only this time i left the group completely for about 3 weeks. i called my coadmin crying about what she was doing to me, sent her the psds and templates for grpahics and left fully, though i helped them out if issues arose/they needed anything. 

impulse. this was recently and this got brought to the tags. im going to copy & paste what i sent to bumkeyz as far as the story goes for what happened.

“ what happened in impulse is only one of several examples of addy being awful in groups i've adminned. this goes back to our friendship but specifically here's what happened in impulse. addy played a character named briar, the other characters involved were as mentioned in other posts loki & khalil (fai fc). one of he first days of the group khalil hooked up with both loki & briar. when the "updates" account posted about loki & khalil's hook up (we posted any and all plot drops that were sent in, it was a reality show so we consistently updated what the cameras caught), briar got upset on main. addy then messaged khalil's mun ooc and asked for the plot to be erased. essentially because she didn't like that khalil had hooked up with both her and another girl in the same day/same manor. as odd of a request as i was the khalil mun agreed to wipe it & asked that if there was anything that ever came up again that made addy uncomfortable to please not hesitate to dm. addy then softblocked khalil. which is strange. why soft block with briar's reason to dislike khalil has been wiped? that night addy posted on her personal tumblr hiqey "i forgot all fai khadra fcs are weirdos" or soemthing along that line. the khalil mun reasonably got uncomfortable with that, but was softblocked & didn't tell the main. they just ignored it since their characters weren't interacting now. for the next few days addy continued to shade khalil and loki on main, despite any ic reason for disliking them being wiped. loki then approached briar IN CHARACTER asking what was wrong/why she was shading/why they didn't like her. i don't know all the details of that conversation, but i know it ended with loki saying she was going to block briar & briar saying that was fine. bear in mind the admins had no idea any of this was happening at this point. addy then dmed the main, playing victim. after more shading of khalil, khalil's mun decided to block briar as well. addy despite wiping this plot and having 0 ic communication with khalil continued to shade the characters ic. so addy dmed the main playing innocent. asking for us to have them unblock, saying she had no idea why they blocked or what she did. as admins we had no idea why either, figured it was something ic so we dmed both muns. khalil's mun agreed after some hestiation, and asked if they had to follow her and i said no. they didn't elaborate. loki's mun however refused, & i'm glad she did because she told us what was going on. of course once we were told everyting we didn't make her unblock. up until we told addy that we were not going to make those muns unblock her, she was extremely sweet to us. she praised us on her rpt. said she loved the group. fed the main compliments. but when she didn't get her way out of us, and was essentially told on, she started causing issues on the timeline with different characters. she sent us a dm on the main telling us to "learn how to handle your group melanie" and deactivated before i could get a chance to reply. “

what i didn’t tell bumkeyz is that deejay/rpslayed played khalil. another example of addy’s manipulation is that when she saw deejay getting anons she followed deejay and texted her after several months of no communication, starting to tell her side of the story and play innocent -- not knowing that deejay was the person who was behind khalil the entire time. she made khalil out to be the bad guy, not knowing that it was deejay. after finding out deejay and i were friends, when deejay posted on rpslayed for people to follow me shortly after trying to get deejay on her side, addy blocked us both (again). 

manipulation between friends (?)

i don’t really know a great way to title this, but this is similar to the situation i mentioned with the unnamed person above -- how addy made me think that person was the worst so i would stop being friends with them. this is a few more examples of that.

the entire time i was friends with addy, she told me that deejay hated me. she told me that deejay was convinced that i was this person who tried to get her kicked out of a group. she told me that she did her very best to convince deejay that it wasn’t true, but no matter what she did deejay just hated me. nearly a year later deejay and i cross paths in a group. we started talking ooc and i mentioned this. i asked her why she thought that was me. we found out that basically, while addy was telling me she was trying to convince deejay it wasn’t me, she was telling deejay that it was me. she would also tell me personal information about deejay that i had no business knowing, whether it be real life information or just telling me the groups deejay adminned when she knew deejay didn’t want anyone knowing. 

i have found out recently that addy has recently been telling people a lie about when she came to visit me. on one evening when she visited me in june of 2019, we went to my friend’s house. we both drank, and smoked. i am someone who neither drinks nor smokes, and i got a very bad mix from it. my anxiety sky rocketed. i was crying on my friends couch practically paralyzed. i didn’t want to move. i felt sick. i felt scared. my friends were going to drive us back to my house and shortly before we were about to walk out addy said she needed to go to the hospital. my friend’s boyfriend drove her there, and when he came back they took me home. this night is very blurry for me. i remember barely being able to see straight, my friend helped me walk to and from the car. addy has told her friends that i refused to pick her up from the hospital that night, and i’ve now heard this from two of her close friends. when in reality, i was so far gone that not only was i sick and scared, but i couldn’t see straight. i had absolutely no ability to be behind a wheel. i’m not surprised she twisted this against me.

i provided a few people screenshots where addy was telling me to block them/trying to convince me that they were awful and hurting me. at the same time that addy was telling me this, she was doing the opposite to them -- to keep us apart. i believe this is some sort of power. always wanting to be everyones number one.

i don’t have a lot of screenshots for this, so i won’t go into much detail, but i can say on more than one occasion, or more than five or ten she told me who to and not to be friends with. told me to block people who had been our friends who were no longer friends with her. 

flat out manipulation.

i don’t want to go back through my texts too much honestly. it’s still a sore spot. it still sucks and it still hurts. but i think anyone and everyone involved with addy at some point or another has similar stories about the way she treats her friends. there were points where i begged. begged and begged her not to leave me. i can’t even count how many times she blocked and unblocked me. how many times she made me feel the worst and then came back. she came back because she knw i was there. and that my generosity was practically endless. i couldn’t say no to her, frankly i can’t say no to anyone. if anyone dmed me today and said hey i need $15 for a ride home. i’d probably send it. that’s just how i am. addy completely had me wrapped around her finger. to the point that i left friends who were good to me. i left my own groups i worked hard on. i nearly ended my engagement (which cannot be entirely blamed on her, but the relationship she and i had was built off lots of manipulation). i know that i could go find 100 screenshots and texts of her manipulating me but honest i just don’t want to do that to myself again. she has made me out to be the villain to anyone she can. i have had 2 different people tell me that she told them i say the n word, which is the furthest thing from the truth. i fear the things she’s said about me to people. if she can 100% make something up, what can she twist from actual arguments or issues we had? 

i know this sounds like a lot of rambling for nothing. but for nearly two years i’ve lived in fear in the rpc of addy. less so when we were friends. i’ve feared telling my side because i felt invalid. frankly even as i type this im scared. scared she’s already convinced everyone i’m awful and no one will read this or care. i just am thankful that this finally came to light. i am glad that i won’t feel scared anymore. roleplay is my one place to be free. as a mother, a full time worker, i don’t have a lot of time for hobby’s and frankly i don’t have a lot of them. i don’t draw, or read. i like to write. and i’m just thankful this can finally be lifted off me.

[lettersfromhav]

college advice from someone who’s been on both sides of it

So I'm finishing up my Ph.D. and preparing to depart for the real world (no, just kidding, I'm going to be in school forever, only in a different capacity) and I thought I'd put together a list of some college tips to share with you all. I graduated with my B.A. in 2012, magna cum laude, with 2 majors, 1 honours thesis, 2 on-campus jobs, and 3 music things. Since then, I've gone to grad school and also taught six semesters of first-year seminars. Now I'm going on the job market for teaching positions. All of this means that I've seen both sides of the college experience, as a student and as an instructor. There are a lot of great & useful college advice posts going around studyblr this time of here, and I wanted to add my own. I hope it’s useful. So here we go, with a “read more” because it’s long (sorry if you’re on mobile):

academics

find your classrooms ahead of time (profs' offices too)

figure out how long it will take you to walk between places

figure out where your best seat will be & claim it

say hi to the people next to you, learn their names

take notes in class

take advantage of extra credit

try your best not to fall asleep in class (and if you do fall asleep, apologise to the prof afterwards)

bring your glasses if you need them, don't be stubborn about it

check out the library, wander in the stacks, talk to the librarians

figure out how & where to print

buy used books/textbooks, or rent them, but be careful with ebooks (some profs don't allow them)

plan breaks into your class schedule, or block everything together, whichever works best for you

work out the pros & cons of 8am classes and/or night classes

plan ahead – have a planner, put things in it, do them

fake deadlines are a thing (write down earlier deadlines, trick yourself into meeting them, bask in satisfaction)

grades won’t be what they were in high school

keep in mind GPA values: a 3.5 will see you graduating with honours

be nice to the departmental administrative staff, thank them for helping you (even with small things)

office hours versus emailing profs: both will get your questions answered (probably) but if you can go and talk in person, do it

profs & TAs are people too, they have lives, they have bad days

if something comes up, talk to your prof, be honest but don't overshare, just show them you're trying

on that note, try

ask friends and especially older students for opinions about profs when you're deciding on your classes, but also check things out yourself  

if your profs invite you to dinner/coffee/events, show up

unless the prof is not a good person, in which case AVOID and spread the word to your friends

if your friends spread this word to you, believe them

if you end up with a prof that your intuition tells you “no” about, trust that intuition

switch classes, talk to the dept. head, talk to the dean, do whatever you need to do

also document everything (save emails, screenshot things, write it down)

also “confidentiality” might be a lie, even if they tell you that your report is confidential (at my undergrad, only the counseling center & chaplain's offices were truly confidential, and even then only if there was no immediate threat)

the above isn't meant to scare you, just make you aware – statistically, you'll probably meet some people you'll wish you hadn't met, so take care of yourself and know your options

you might change your major a few times and that's ok

if it takes you more than 4 years to graduate, that's ok too

it's not the end of the world if you get a bad grade

it's not the end of the world if you need tutoring

tutoring is awesome & you should take advantage of it, especially if it's free -- campus writing centers are great too

it's not even the end of the world if you have to withdraw from a class, or take a leave of absence

keep at it & you will be fine

food

remember to eat

be nice to the dining hall staff (and all campus staff, especially maintenance/facilities, they are the ones who can help you out)

figure out how to discreetly take food from the dining hall (dry cereal, fruit, a sandwich, not entire pantries please)

keep snacks in your room (and don't eat them all at once)

fruits & vegetables are your friends

you all know this already but stay hydrated

take advantage of free food events on campus (my undergrad had a twitter dedicated to this)

sometimes religious organisations will host them – you can go even if you're not religious, just be polite

find a coffeeshop & be nice to the baristas, tip if you can

but also take it easy on the coffee consumption, you only have one heart

you still have to eat even if you get sick – at least what one of my family members calls the “BRAT diet” (bread, rice, applesauce, tea) until you feel better

if you have allergies, talk to the dining hall staff and explain your situation, ask them for advice & they should be able to help you out

if you feel pressured to diet or lose weight, 1) leave those people, and 2) eat what's right for your body

housing

make a roommate contract (rules for lights on/off, quiet hours, temperature control, guests, cleaning, locked doors, etc.)

don't lose your keys, but also don't wear a lanyard (carabiner inside a backpack pocket is a good plan)

unless lanyards are your thing, in which case, go for it

don't overspend on décor/bedding, go basic & minimal (rooms are small)

figure out how much sleep you need & get it, and try to stick to a routine

bring a padlock or two and some cable, use if it you feel you need to – also, laptop locks are under-rated, get one

bring a mirror, a lamp, and possibly a comfortable desk chair

extension cords with surge protectors are the way to go

if you want to bring a stuffed animal or something just bring it, don't worry about it not being “cool”

bring clothing that makes you feel like yourself when you wear it

get a plant or two and try not to kill it

open floor space creates the illusion of a bigger room

find out how to take out your trash & then actually do it

keep a few basic cleaning supplies in your room (Clorox or Lysol wipes will take care of almost anything in a dorm room, plus maybe a vacuum)

if you have white towels and white sheets, you can wash them together & add a little bleach, they will always look clean

lofted beds look nice but are a pain to change sheets on, just fyi

invest in a mattress topper (I say “invest”; mine was foam and like $20, no need to get super fancy)

if your mattress really is crap, talk to facilities about your options

invest in good headphones (this may actually be an investment)

bring a few favourite non-academic books to keep in your room for when you need a break from school reading

co-ed bathrooms might be a thing, it will be fine

if it's not fine, report it (RA, residence life, campus security) – be safe, kids

shower sandals are your friend – you might also want regular slippers

don't sexile your roommate – that's just rude, it's their room too, they're paying for housing just like you

if you are the one sexiled, have a conversation about it (after the fact, when everyone is clothed again) and lay out the rules

get your RA involved if need be, you have a right to your own room

don't hole up in your room all the time, but also don't be afraid to retreat back to it when you need to

if you have an apartment: 

know what the deal is on how/when to pay rent, utilities, etc.; take photos for your security deposit; say hi to your neighbours even if you're not friends; have a basic toolkit; write down the non-emergency numbers for local police & fire and post them on your fridge; learn the system for taking out trash (dumpster, trash tags, etc.); make sure you know parking rules if you have a car; check your mail every day so it doesn't pile up; clean regularly

you will not survive college without a good living situation, so do whatever you need to do to make that happen

life

don't be afraid to do things alone

don't be afraid to fake-date your friends in order to get free stuff (for example, my undergrad had some free “couples” events on Valentine’s Day that a friend & I took advantage of a few times)

keep an eye out for dogs on campus & pet them (unless they're service dogs and hard at work, in which case admire from afar)

get a backpack that's comfortable to wear & can hold what you need

send postcards to your friends at other colleges (getting mail is surprisingly nice)

learn how to do laundry before you go to college

find the gym & use it (if it's free)

find the campus health clinic & use it (especially if it's free or low-cost)

don't leave your things unattended in the library even if it seems safe

learn how to use your local public transportation, if it exists

explore your town/city, bring friends along

bring a bicycle if you can and if your campus isn't entirely hills

if you have a car: wash it from time to time, keep the gas tank at least half full, get a snow shovel and keep it in your trunk (climate depending)

have at least one warm jacket, and one rain jacket (climate depending)

have good shoes, possibly boots – you'll likely be walking a lot

take early morning walks with friends (but be safe about it) and then go to breakfast together

find a playground & use it

go into campus buildings that you otherwise wouldn’t and explore – find new study spaces, cool art, comfortable chairs, who knows what

check out campus museums

join clubs you will actually enjoy, or that have people you want to spend time with

you can quit clubs at any time

you can change your mind any time – show up to an event, don't like it, leave, it's fine

you can also make up things if you need an excuse to leave -- no one will know, you are the master of your own schedule in college

there's something weirdly wonderful about showering at 5pm with the windows open, just saying

if you're queer and want to come out, come out; if not, no pressure

if you do, be careful about who you come out to, and what gets spread on social media -- look out for yourself

also your campus almost certainly has an lgbtq resource center so maybe use it (mine was a subset of the women's center)

if you came out using a term that then stops working for you, you're allowed to change your terms

don't drink too much, look out for your friends, tip $1 per drink, figure out which bar is least sketchy (also most sketchy – and then avoid that one)

the least sketchy bar is possibly going to be the place your profs hang out -- do the casual nod/wave to say hi if you see them, don’t just ignore them, but then get back to your friends

be super careful of what/how much you drink at house parties since you probably don’t know what you’re actually drinking

don't give in to pressure to be sexually active if it's not your thing

if it is your thing, still don't give into pressure, and also use protection every single time

enthusiastic consent is a thing, check in with your partner, make sure you're both good

get to know people in years both above and below yours

save people's numbers, names, birthdays in your phone

take photos with your friends & save them too

listen to your college’s radio station (maybe even DJ for them)

call your parents or family of choice from time to time, or at least text them

watch whatever will fit your mood and don't worry about what anyone thinks: childhood movies, HGTV, YouTube, whatever

in general don't worry so much about what people think, everyone is mostly a mess anyway

so try to be patient with people, and with yourself

survival kit: full water bottle (maybe one with a filter if your tap water is bad), gum or mints, lip balm, a pen, ibuprofen/advil, some cash

do what you want to do, within reason – you're an adult now and can make your own choices, so make good choices and be the person you want to be