#i am fat. for my height. if you subscribe to bmi stuff (which i know is kinda bullshit) im obese
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Ah. Oh. Right. When people look at me, they see my weight.
#hahaha body dysmorphia is a bitch#i keep forgetting what i look like to others#then i see a picture of myself or i catch my reflection#i physically recoil whenever i see my stomach poking out from under my shirt#its fine when it's other people. they make it look good#i just. i can't look at it when it's me#my body shape is just off#my perception of myself is just off#i never look right#vent#i am fat. for my height. if you subscribe to bmi stuff (which i know is kinda bullshit) im obese#i dont feel like im that big. and then i try on clothes.#I've always struggled to buy clothes that fit because sizing has always been off for me#when i was younger. my mom always bought clothes that were a size too small#...yeah#i think i have an ed. i mean. there's really no way i dont. ya know? my relationship with food is absolutely fucked#god. im so unbelievably sad about this right now. and it's all because i misinterpreted a text#ha.#okay. im sorry. I'll shut up now.
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