#i am going to ruin your life with my nonsense and silliness and horribly dramatic approach to problems

[trashbaget]

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[bewareoftrees]

Babylon 5 Watch (Season 1, Episodes 10-12)

I’ve finally caught up to @jenniferstolzer​ in her Buffy watch, with each of us getting through 12 episodes of our respective shows. But she’s finished a season, whereas I’m only half way through the first season of Babylon 5. Slow and steady!

Click the following links if you haven’t read all of my previous  B5 posts.

Episodes 1-3    Episodes 4-6    Episodes 7-9

Episode 1.10 “Believer”

Sean isn’t an alien name... Oh, excuse me. It’s spelled Shon. All better.

“Food animals are cut open. They don't have a soul so it's alright.” How. Dare. You. The soul is why steak tastes so good!

LOL cranky Ivanova throwing a tantrum about wasting away at her computer instead of being out there flying ships and what not is adorable. I guess I would be cranky too if I had over 100 hours of combat flying experience but in the previous 9 episodes only the Commander and Garibaldi have gotten to fly ships.

He sure has a lot of finger tips on his chest for someone so against cutting people open.

This other doctor has clearly never met a child before if she thinks that they wouldn’t want to play with industrial goo. Her mind is going to be blown when she finds out about Silly Putty.

Did... did they just mention a steak dinner after I made a steak joke? [Looks over shoulder for a Babylon 5 spy]

Commander: "The Shakespeare corporation wants to transship a load of fingerlegs." Fingerlegs? What the Hell are fingerlegs? [Googles fingerlegs] Oh. Oh no. This cannot be unseen. 

Apparently the actual quote was about pfingal eggs. But I prefer my Hamlet hand.

What if Dr. Franklin just tripped and fell with a scalpel in his hands and “accidentally” made an incision and “accidentally” cut out the blockage? It's not surgery, it's an accident.

These alien races wouldn't even vote to try a war criminal, they're definitely not going to help the parents get their son back.

Kosh: “The avalanche has already started. It is too late for the pebbles to vote.”

I think the commander is eating a smurf. How many people is he planning to upset today!?

Aw... The kid knew it was industrial goo the whole time, and instead of assuming Dr. Franklin lied to him in an attempt to comfort, he thinks that Dr. Franklin believes that it’s an egg and he doesn’t want the commander to ruin that belief. I’m not crying, you’re crying!

Commander: What makes a religion false? If any religion is right then maybe they all have to be right. Maybe God doesn't care how you say your prayers, just as long as you say them. Dr. Franklin: What if there's no God at all? Commander: Is that what you believe? Dr. Franklin: I believe in saving lives. Without life the question is meaningless.

Stop making me think deeply about religion!

Let me tell you about the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Dying kid���s dad: “You were such a tiny morsel of life.” Don't talk to him like he's a food animal!

Don't look so proud of yourself, Dr. Franklin, they're definitely going to kill that kid. They had such a strong reaction to him in the previous scene and called him a demon. He’s definitely not making it off the station alive.

And... They killed him. 

Since they did this on the station are they going to be arrested for murder? Allowing other beliefs on the station is one thing, but having different rules for different alien races will bring nothing but chaos.

What!? After all that we don’t get to see Ivanova in an epic space battle!? Guess the budget only afforded one ship explosion...

Episode 1.11 “Survivors”

Whoa, Ivanova’s hair is down at work! 

So of course she almost gets blown up. You let your hair down for one second...

This is how Gravity started.

Oh, I see now. There can only be one severely pulled back hairstyle per episode, and Lianna has it right now.

Garibaldi: “Lianna didn't even cry. She just died inside.” That seems like a pretty harsh thing to say about someone who just lost their father.

Is Garibaldi wearing eyeshadow? I know things are getting dark for him this episode, but goodness.

Seriously, Ivanova lets her hair down and now everything is chaos! Explosions, Garibaldi is a fugitive after being accused of the bombing, this Lianna lady’s eyebrows are jumping around like crazy... Chaos I say! Chaos!

Where the hell is Talia this episode? This is the perfect time to use the station’s telepath! She could clear Garibaldi in no time and he could stop being so emo!

What is this holographic knight fight? No way I would bet money on that, it’s probably pre-recorded.

G’Kar: “The universe is run by the complex interweaving of three elements: energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest.” This explains a lot about G’Kar...

Are N’Grath’s guys wearing mics? Maybe Garibaldi is willing to branch out from his B-Boying days and start a boy band. Introducing the N’Grath Street Boys!

Speaking of N’Grath. Remember when I made a joke about Babylon 5 spying on me last episode? Well let’s just say I am keeping an eye on N’Grath.

The Commissioner, I mean Commander, just got Batmanned.

Seriously, what is Garibaldi doing?

Happy Daze is an amazing bar name.

Why the heck did Lianna bring Garibaldi with her? He’s definitely still a suspect so he should not be the backup she brings with her to check out another lead.

Commanderism: “You're more trouble than a toilet full of snakes.” WHAT!?

Oh man, Lianna’s hair is down now. Office hours are closed.

Could Lianna please stop calling him Michael? Maybe it’s because almost every time they bring someone back from someone’s past they’re lovers (ick), so switching from Uncle Mike to Michael is skeeving me out. Just look at them in this scene! I legit thought she was going to kiss him. LEAVE ROOM FOR JESUS!

Episode 1.12 “By Any Means Necessary”

Whoa look at this light bang wave Ivanova’s got going on. It’s all business casual.

 I'm starting to think maybe I'm paying too much attention to her hair.

And just like last episode when her hair wasn’t tightly pulled back something goes wrong. Darn it, Ivanova!

Garibaldi mentions his grandma was a cop back in Boston. Seriously, what’s the situation like on Earth these days? Same map as now, or what?

This scene opened up with the staging of a super dramatic music video. Here, they can borrow the mics from N’Grath’s guys.

Was Londo saving one of these G’Quan Eth seeds (yes I did have to google that word to get the correct spelling, because what?) for a rainy day, or did he have one lying around just incase he could use it to hurt G’Kar? I’m going to go ahead and say yes to the latter.

I was about to get all up in arms about how horrible a person Londo was being, but then he reminded us about what G’Kar did in episode one. Like the show until this point, I had completely forgotten all about what G’Kar did! 

Man, now the Commander is getting in on the Ivanova hair game but letting his stubble overshadow his jaw and chin.

Oh children... G’Kar’s assistant just stole the statue of the Centauri god from their cultural center. Now Londo must retaliate by stealing G’Kar’s high school mascot!

Whoa, look at this loophole the Commander just cannonballed into.

Commanderism: “You should never hand someone a gun unless you're sure where they’ll point it.”

Aw look at the Commander using science for religious purposes to make G’Kar feel better. I’m gonna go ahead and trust his math on all this speed of light nonsense.

Can we talk about the framing of this shot? Because no.

There. I fixed it.