#i am gonna do the whole episode dont worry. i already have a difference noted for the gundam moment lol HOWEVER

[kerorowhump]

"When he puts his mind to it, the sergeant can get what he wants."

"But he's a vile being. I'm afraid there's just no solution."

[casually-slips-into-coma]

spoilers for iwtv s2e4

my thoughts after a rewatch:

i know claudia hates the baby loves window play but she ate up that little song

the lulu role really is so humiliating :(

louis’ expressions whenever he watches these plays always kills me lmao he hates theater kids

louis and armand talking over each other to daniel

armands theater notes lol

claudia no eyebrow big eyeliner look is kinda cunty ngl

im a fan of sam the irish vampire

making claudia be lulu all the time oooh armand i hate u so bad

almost threw up watching louis and armand give different answers to the companion question IN FRONT OF THE COVEN that shit was so embarrassing

i wouldve kms if i was armand

vamp catfight

armand stuck in this situationship dont worry king we’ve all been there😔

literally telling each other i love you and still having the what are we conversation

“do you notice how hot the room gets when you two talk about the secret” plsssss

louis only able to use the fire gift when hes angry👀👀 gee i wonder if thats gonna come back👀👀👀👀👀

louis going🤨🤨 to the schizophrenia question like it came out of nowhere

armands face while louis talked about dreamstat why not just shoot me in the head

loving these dutch angles whenever daniel dissociates and gets an armand memory

santiago looks so good in the gold suit? robe thing??

claudia santiago friendship is killing me santiago i know what u are

claudia killing the guy singing baby lu

i like that you can tell claudias french has gotten better. nice small detail

i love scenes of louis and claudia just talking about non vampire things

santiago mimicking louis was pretty cool

buffoon sighting!!!

whole dinner scene bangs

the guy saying theres smth “fragile” about armand in the photo louis took and louis saying “no he’s anything but” and then the guy saying “you’ve captured the soul he hides” 🤌🤌

louis would never survive a 4 hour art school critique

daniel telling a girl he’d only do her if she had a paper bag over her head??????

claudeline truthers how are we feeling

context for the eating paper clip in the trailer

romeo!!

armand is so down bad its sick

madeline tailoring a yellow dress for claudia😟😟

the whole claudeline interaction was great

amadeo☹️🔫

MARIUS KILL YOURSELF!!!!!!!

the way armand talks about marius

MARIUS KILL YOURSELF x2!!!!!!

“no one has painted me in 400 years” fuck

madeline period blood moment. theres so much here about femininity and maturing might make a separate post about this scene

armand pinning claudia against a wall armand i hate you so bad

we already know that armand is powerful but seeing him choke and manhandle santiago really solidified that i think

picked another one over me!!

delainey is ACTINGGGGG

louis not believing claudia about armand ooooh louis i hate you so bad

love makes you stupid clock it

louis still referring to claudia as his daughter in his head (thru dreamstat)

louis just actively talking to himself girl do that in your head

park bench moment <3

“wanker” i giggled sorry

that suit is his favorite on him :(

“im a little wet” and armand instantly pulling out an umbrella, armand lighting his cigarette, armand calling him maitre

louis calling him arun and armand calling him maitre and then louis throwing away the lighter this fucking scene is cinematic art

the other coven members calling santiago maitre

i kinda like that daniel can hear them arguing from another room. i feel like its a very human experience? really domestic? even given the circumstances

armands eyes were never brown!!!

san francisco flashback episode might kill me im not kidding

insane way to end the episode

ok this was much longer than i thought it would be but this episode has a lot in it. each episode gets better and better and this is definitely my favorite of the season so far.

i am LOVING louis and armands relationship and also both of their story arcs and characterizations. their dynamic is kind of the opposite of what i, and i think a lot of other people, expected but it still makes total sense and im enjoying it a lot

god i love this show

[queer-full-of-fear-18]

So episode 9 ripped me to shreds...let's unpack this rollercoaster...

First off, YiDiao Nation how are we doing? Bc I'm 50% dying and 50% living like...can Nat just fight in every show he so good??? I am rooting so hard for Diao this whole show and the way he conveys his anger, disappointment, worry, anxieties, sarcasm is just ?!?! *chefs kiss* 😤

I was screaming at the top of my lungs for the entire dinner scene like YES KING TEAR THIS MF APPART🤪

On a lil side note...how we feel about Diao's parents? Bc currently I'm so on the fence about it... also does this mean Diao DOES remember this "terrible thing" that happened? I need answers just like Diao needs em from Yi. The kitchen scene was short with little dialogue but it conveyed so much Nat's body language for Diao is absolutely spit on and is a different Diao from the start of the series (yes character progression) and Max's delivery of Max stuttering was the cherry on top. The dog scene had me confused like, Yi you think getting him a dog is gonna fix all your problems??? But maybe itvhas smth to do with this accident from the preview, well have to see...

On to KueaLian...listen...what the fuck. It was 90% the absolute cutes most wholesome shit I've even witnessed. I was so happy parts 1-2 and I was like "I'm sure noting could possibly happen even if its ep9" (*note absolute sarcasm) and of course it happend...*sigh*... But I'll get to that, first:

They have me in a choke hold - they chemistry is insane both in physical displays and just plain old romantic/platonic shit. The way Zee delivers Lian's bomb ass love confessions left and right just absolutely sell the idea that Lian absolutely adores Kuea through and through and shit this man is smooth AF I was squealing like a mF through out all their scenes their so fuckibg cute immmmm- 😭😭😭

The bath scene was so adorable and made me tear up with the discussion...too real man. 🤧😭

Side note Foei is amazing and Poppy breathes so much life into his chacter with legit just his facial expressions, I can't help but smile every time hes on screen. King shit👑

And then it all crashes down into a million pieces by something that's been foreshoadown for like the past 3 episodes; this whole thing with the lands and owner ships of Kuea's family fortune? (I dont think I understand it that well tbh)

Now on the one hand, I'm pissed that this happened bc Lian had been set up to do the proper thing and explain all of this to Kuea, bc there is no way in gay hell this wasn't done for him IMPOSSIBLE and then they said - "oops no he finds the papers" just on Lian's desk???"

Your telling me this man has hidden the fact he has low key high key stalked Kuea and all that jazz and he just leaves for smth tells Kuea to go to his office and leaves those there??? Mf are u stupid???

This is all gonna be a misunderstanding™ and I honest to god hate those bc its all just frustrating as hell...bc it even looks like his mom is aware of all this jumbo like...*bangs head against wall* 😫

On the other hand, by very little I'll add, this might be some good Kuea development in both bad and good. By the preview hes going to jump assumptions and think that Lian is using him for his money or some shit like that, which feeds into is insecurities yes very on brand and he's then gonna realize that he hurt Lian's feeling by thinking he would do such a thing or smth they kiss happy ending (can you tell I'm dreading his whole thing)💀💀💀

BUT I've decided to remain optimistic about it, 1) bc I'm invested anywyad but mainly 2) bc I'm hoping this gets resolved as quickly as the whole Kilen drama (relatively)

Please for the love of gay Jesus I just want them to be in a happy loving healthy communicating relationship is that too much to ask?? I already gotta deal with YiDiao's messy family drama 😭

Finishing off on a lighter note...SynNuer y'all Y E S ALL OF IT YESS. While their whole scene was short I'm really happy it was there. The whole football bit was hilarious gotta love the 3 lil Shit™ energy so fun and annoying in the best way possible. Nuer is a friend now and it seems both him and later on Syn realise shit is up with Kuea - straight up communicating through their gazes just AH they are so AH (Syn looking at shirtless Nuer okay👀👀👀) they just have such nice energy around then as a pairing I'm hoping they get some development even if were nearing the end...partially BC imma need a pallet cleanser if I gotta deal with YiDiao and KueaLian's shit next episode god dam...

[iridescentides]

i watched the ep twice bc i didnt take notes the first time BUT. hsmtmts 2.04 thoughts under the cut

gina first. my favorite part of the episode was when she admitted that she feels out of place living in someone else’s house and that she wanted a bigger part in the play. i was SO worried they were gonna just let her happily sideline herself in a “yay she learned her lesson about not being the center of attention” kind of way bc i would not be able to handle that two seasons in a row. let her be angry!!! she has a lot to be upset about

the gina/carlos conflict was awful bc theyre making carlos unreasonably annoying this season. last season he was nice, he was enthusiastic, not competitive and just rooting for other people. idk why they needed to flip him so drastically to being spoiled, rich, selfish, pushy, and bitchy. and on top of that i have not been vibing with the pieces of dialogue theyve been giving him this season just to score woke points. its so unbearably obvious that even though hes a brown gay character, he was written by a white gay person who thought, on some level, that he was giving the gen z kids the #hashtag representation they wanted. his delivery of every line that screams “remember, im mexican” is so awkward, it doesnt land well, and im begging them to stop. they want so badly to commodify his character and parade him around as a “look how diverse our show is!” thing and im so so sick of it bc you can tell, with all the surface-level pieces of dialogue, that they dont actually care at all

(”look around, theres not a lot of me at this school” we GET it, this show wants to be glee so bad)

im honestly starting to slowly ship rina less and less. in season one i loved seeing someone make gina happy, especially since she had no friends before opening up to ricky. but now its just a whole mess and i wish she would love herself a lil more to realize that its not worth all this stress. he made a choice and no amount of conflicted moments of eye contact is going to fully take that back. im not necessarily against love triangle plots, but i HATE the whole “women wait around hopefully while male character, whose decisions have already hurt multiple people, makes up his mind” bullshit

that being said, gina handled the situation like a CHAMP, im dying over how quickly she was able to mask her pain and make the joke about the twix bar. im love her

we were absolutely ROBBED of an ej/big red performance this episode!!! i am at my LIMIT we better get gaston next week or i will riot

on the ej train, him not getting into duke was extremely predictable. we all kinda saw that coming and knew that would be his main point of growth this season. im glad they didnt wait super long to do it. now please @ writers i am BEGGING you to give my man more screen time than one scene per episode

its very odd that they keep making mr mazzara have emotionally tough conversations with the students. i will do a parallel gifset of those once the season ends. i liked his convo with ej for the most part, but he really didnt have to beat him over the head with the “youre an emotionless robot” thing again. its clear ej is gonna throw himself into av club or whatever (even though at the end of last season that was supposed to be big red?) and discover that he has a lot going for him. because he does, he literally has everything going for him, thats why they had to make his “problem” not knowing himself. bisexual ej caswell ftw

i love the parallels between ej and nini this episode? i think since the beginning ive felt that there was a lot about them under the surface that was similar. it was interesting seeing ej tell nini about duke first, instead of the obvious choice of ashlyn. i wouldve loved to see how that scene wouldve gone with ricky, gina, carlos, or big red though bc each reaction and attempt at comforting him wouldve been so different. i didnt love that nini had to be pulled away from the conversation, but im glad they can still talk to each other after everything that went down. and i love the juxtaposition of ej’s convo with mazzara directly following nini’s convo with miss jenn bc theyre essentially the same.

speaking of, i loved miss jenn in this episode. her stories are always so funny, but i loved seeing her care so much for nini and guide her, like a teacher. i loved how she pointed out that everyone who loves nini just wants her to be happy

im glad nini is leaving yac bc there was no good way to keep that up honestly. but im pretty annoyed that they were so obvious about it? like, they immediately made it the worst place in the world without exploring it very much. the place is super unrealistic, ive never been to drama school but im sure it wouldnt be like that. no creative arts place for KIDS would be so impossibly limiting. plus the weird bluish coloring in comparison to the nice warm tones of the rest of the show was, again, a dead giveaway. why send her to the school at all if it wasnt even gonna matter?

even though im glad nini left yac, im NOT looking forward to the way miss jenn is about to bend over backwards to put her in the play somehow. she plays obvious favorites and im so annoyed

(sidenote: nini just? decided to leave yac without consulting her parents??? ummm)

granted is a very good song, one of my faves so far

ricky deciding to tell nini he wants her to stay was stupid. what did he think that would accomplish? who in their right mind would drop out of a good school for you?

i loved when nini said yac was missing something, and miss jenn said “ricky” and nini said “you.” that was so so sweet and cute

i think the kourtney/howie thing is gonna grow on me. i hate amatonormativity so im not a big fan of them introducing a whole ass character exclusively so kourtney can have a love interest, but i loved the gesture he made of bringing her the pizzas and her flashcards. i feel like kourtneys love language is acts of service, and she was literally this meme when he did that for her:

i liked seeing ashlyn try to be there emotionally for gina! i want more of them together

overall this episode was okay. not enough songs, and i wish they were spreading out the emotional conversations through the season instead of packing them all into literally one episode, but what we did get was pretty good.

after watching the preview i see that next weeks episode is gonna be about carlos’s party, and i love party episodes. BUT i hope that after that ep we finally get an advancement on the north high stuff! i dont give too many fucks about lily, but i wanna see my son asher angel

[chicago-reeed]

Detroit Evolution

So

These are some notes that I took while I watched DE for the first time. It’s a lot. Like, six pages, a lot. I decided I should probably spare everyone’s dashboards and put it under a cut.

Warning: overuse of the fuck word because I am a dramatic little shit who gets overwhelmed easily

- Alright here we go. I don’t know if I’m mentally prepared to go through this hhhhh

- THE CINEMATOGRAPHY I NUT

- fuck he smellin the flowers good

- “hey tin can :P” “good morning gavin :P”

- I’m actually fucking crying IVE HAD TO PAUSE SO MANY TIMES JUST TO BREATHE AND IM ONLY AT 1:25

- FUCK ITS 1:27 AND HES FIXING HIS COLLAR HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WATCH THIS WHEN MY VISION IS BLURRY WITH TEARS

- “I don’t need to breathe” BAZINGA

- *slaps my face repeatedly* keep it together bitch

- “I like the way you look<3” aaaaaaaaannd here I go again

- HAHAHA HE WAS DAYDREAMING SAME NINES SAME

- oh god oh god witty banter WITTY BANTER I CANT FUNCTION

- C H R I S  IM SCREAMING

- detective motha fuckin chris I don’t need to see any more I got what I came for

- Honestly all they need to do to calm down the protestors is get nines out there so he can say “please stop you’re being very mean >:/“ and they would probably just go home ngl

- “I’ve never been intimidated by people who hate androids” OH MY GOD NINES WITH THE BAZINGA’S TODAY WHAT A LEGEND

- can I just say the white jacket is such a power move I can’t believe nines invented fashion

- Gavin bein soft and reaching back for Nines in the crowd🥺homygod

- Gavin “no one calls him plastic but ME” Reed

- The only time I will support police brutality™️

- Gavin is so OP we stan

- Nines “you raise a fist, then I get PISSED😡” RK900

- “y’all have a nice day” Protect Detective Chris Miller at all costs

- Nines sees Gavin’s scars as charming PUT ME TO DEATH

- ADA OH LORD SHES STUNNING IM SOBBING

- Okay I need to pause and breathe again the cinematography got me chokin

- Uh ooohhh someone is jeeaaalouus😛

- Nines really said “no worry fam I’ll airdrop the case files to u”

- Ada: *exists*

- me: I hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me

- HA GAV DEFINITELY JEALOUS RIP

- And nines back at it again with the sass I AM LIVING

- Chris and Gavin’s reactions to Nines imitating Ada is the best thing I’ve seen all year

- “I can do your voice too” HIS FACE IMDBDHDJKDJD CRYIGGGSBSN

- oh ;-; shit Michael really finna make me cri

- God damn the intro credits are so beautiful

- TINAAAAAAA BABYYYYY

- Real coffee hours with the sharktreuse mug🦈

- “our boy” SHIT IM CRYING AGAIN

- Tina knows Gavin was absolutely feral before Nines appeared at the DPD

- Half An Asshole squad please stand up we ride at dawn

- Gavin with the knockoff timbs WE STAN😎

- maybe “thank god, I hate you, you love me, move your feet, oop” will be our always

- I’m living for the whole “criminal minds” vibe goin on here

- Bruh Gavin got the hook-ups fr fr

- ❤️WITTY BANTER WITTY BANTER WITTY BANTER W❤️

- The level of reed900 is staggering

- I’ve had to pause and breathe so many times it’s pathetic I’m not even 15 mins in

- GAVIN SAID mwah<3🖕IM FUCKING DIED

- 850% godt damn Nines got that IOS 50 update

- NINES PUT CHRIS’ PROMOTION PARTY IN THE CALENDAR WHAT A GOOD DAD

- maybe “our calendar” will be our always

- Chris “wingman of the year” Miller

- Who’s that Pokémon??? It’s JEALOUS GAV

- The way Nines said “I don’t feel anything for her.” I see you bud

- insecure Gavin needing reassurance™️

- Im fucking dying I fucking died bro BRO WE ALL KNOW WHO YOURE TALKING ABOUT, NINES, WE ALL KNOW

- Asexual Nines FTW👊😤👏👏👏❤️He gives zero fucks of ANY kind

- AN ANGEL HAS APPEARED WITH A GLOWY BLUE SCARF

- BREAKING NEWS: affection-starved Gavin™️ is literally begging for love

- GAVIN REED STOP BEING MEAN TO GAVIN REED OR ELSE

- “But there’s much more to admire about you than to detest, I think.”<333

- JJ not being suspicious at all nope no way Jose

- Lazzo has said two words and I love him already

- I don’t think I’ve seen this episode of COPS before🤔🤔🤔

- We all know Nines secretly wants to wear those fun glasses

- “Officer I swear I’ve never seen that arm in my life, it’s my friend’s he just asked me to hold it for him, Android arm what android arm heh”

- “Like robot arms, not gun arms.” You’re doing great sweetie🥰

- HAND TOUCH HAND TOUCH HAND TOUCH H

- Chris “the interrogator” Miller😎

- THE CINEMATOGRAPHY

- soft n sleepy gav™️ is soft n sleepy

- FUCKING SLEEVELESS SWEATSHIRT IVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT GAV IN A SLEEVELESS SWEATSHIRT FOR SO LONG AND NOW IT’S REAL IM

- You can wear my😋😘sweeaatshiiiirt😝😁🤗 (I’m sorry I had to)

- inconspicuous loving glances™️

- #GiveAndroidsFuckinHealthcare2K20

- AAAHHHHHHHH I CANTT BREAF

- HEAD>ON>SHOULDER

- INCONSPICUOUS LOVING GLANCES™️

- Gavin has not slept in 80 years

- He really said “I’m fine” BITCH

- Bed time for brats™️ no later than 8:30pm

- hell yeah sleepover time

- “stop lookin at my insides n shit” I want that on a t shirt

- ANDROID DREAMS

- Nines is so soft I might die

- But he’s somehow equally suave as fuck how is this fair

- Oh my god dream!gavin is like Nines’ conscious this is so presh

- “What do you think Gavin was gonna say?” nsndJSKDOFIWKDBDNDNSJDBBDJDJDJDNDJXJNDIFUIFIEKWN HES STILL THINKING ABOUT THEIR CONVO

- dream!gavin you sly dog

- “To have this. Out there.” DONT FUCK WITH MY HEART LIKE THAT THIS INNER-MONOLOGUE FLUFF IS SO SWEET

- Nines being insecure™️

- Listen to dream!gavin, Nines, he has big brain

- The fact that Nines subconsciously KNOWS that irl!Gav “just wants someone that doesn’t hate him” but he’s STILL like alas, I can never be what gavin needs :’(

- nu babie don’t be sad🥺

- oh my god they’re both train wrecks protect them at all cost

- c r i p e s❤️the reed900 hurt/comfort we all needed

- FUCK

- Concerned boyfriends™️

- Maybe “I’m fine” will be our always

- GAV🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💔💔💔💔💔💔

- Insecure boyfriends™️

- Nines “I’m not going to get any closer to Gavin because I can’t help him but also I want to cuddle with him because he had a nightmare” RK900

- did someone say  c a t

- dumb babie gav jus spoon the dumb android so you both feel better

- Me: *rubs evil hands together* aha here comes the angst

- cue tragic backstory

- oh

- tragic backstory indeed

- YES DAD!FOWLER WE LOVE

- Gavin is so desperate for anyone to care about him I’m crying tears

- SHIT IT’S CUDDLE TIME™️ NOW IM REALLY FUCKING CRYING

- Alexa this is so god damn sad play despacito

- YES

- HAND>HOLDING

- HEAD>ON>SHOULDER

- NINES’ SKIN RETRACTING WHERE THEIR HANDS ARE TOUCHING THIS IS LIKE EVERY REED900 STAN’S DREAM COME TRUE

- Oh shit it’s about to get domestic I don’t think I’m mentally prepared

- YOU CAN WEAR MY😝💪SWEEAATSHIIIIIIRT🤪🔥🔥🔥 (I’m never letting the sleeveless sweatshirt thing go)

- Uh oh NO FUCK I’ve read enough fan fiction to know that this is where Gavin’s fucking trust issues kick in and he decides pushing nines away is safer than getting closer to him SHIT

- AND NINES GETS CONFUSED AND HURT

- AND THEN GAVIN GETS HURT

- I feel angst in this Chili’s tonight

- “I need you to leave” aaaaaaahhhhhhhh here come a whole different kind of tears

- frick dude that ouches

- Insert sad babie noises

- Oml the tension☠️poor Chris and Ada are like😑😑

- Chris could solve this case all by himself change my mind

- Gavin and Nines = (ò///-///ó)

- Chris = :D~oblivious~

- HELL YEAH PARTY TIME

- BEST WIVES TINA AND VALERIE AHHHH

- reed900 who??? I don’t know her. I only know ❤️valerina❤️

- I can’t believe Gavin and Nines invented angst

- I went and got blue gatorade just so I could pretend I was drinking thirium like Nines

- #DetectiveChen2K20

- real sad gavin hours

- Ruh roh Gavin bouta die from the ‘rona virus because rat man smokes hella

- CINEMATOGRAPHY CHEEEEECK HOLY SHIT

- my entire aesthetic in a single shot jfc

- Aaaaahhhh Nines trying to be a supportive bf just makes me ;-; [takes damage]

- HES ACCEPTED GAVIN AS MORE THAN A PARTNER🥺that, my friends, is what we call character development

- We stan the otp aggressively talking about their feelings

- “I’m not going anywhere.” FUCK™️

- SMOKE>FACE

- Aaaaand they’re back at square one. It’s cool it’s fine it’s all good we can work with this.

- Gavin: I don’t need you ò-ó

- Gavin: *immediately after Nines leaves* fuck ó-ò

- “It’s fine”™️

- I love Ada so much hhhhhh she said 🤨

- “Basic Instinct” TINA WITH THE HEAT OMG

- *nervous laugh* haha Ada sis maybe chill a little bit ha ha

- oh no I have a not good feeling

- ADA CHILL ADA CHILL

- WHY IS HE FOLLOWING HER INTO AN ALLEY AFTER THAT SKETCHY TALK

- AAA FUCK FUCK FUCJDJEMNSNDJDNXU FUCK I FUCKING KNEW IT FUCK SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT FUCK

- 😖x1000000

- Oh my god this is so fucking sad Alexa play The Sound of Silence

- Nines got fucked up and Gavin is CONCERNED

- aayyyyy bro Nines full on nakey

- Tina and Gavin sad bro huggin👊😔

- ADA HOW DARE YOU. HOW VERY DARE YOU.

- Uh oh Nines is fckn PISSED

- he MAD mad

- Tina speakin straight facts I love her

- WOOP GAVIN FINALLY ADMITTING HE NEEDS NINES

- f u c k  right in the heart

- I don’t want to attempt writing any notes at this moment because my thoughts are completely incoherent I am a MESS

- “I need you to come back, Nines.” DONT PLAY W ME LIKE THAT

- HAND HOLDING FTW

- Did Gavin really almost bring Nines back through the power of love I am SHAKING

- Dream!Gavin speaking truth as ALWAYS

- These damn flashbacks making me feel some type of way

- OH SHIT HE AWAKE

- that actually low key jump scared me

- God damn these sets are so fucking pro, I’m so happy

- REUNION

- Tina really say “Chris ;) ;) lets go get some ;) coffee ;) ;) ;) ;)”

- CHRIS’ REALIZATION FACE FUCKING LAID ME OUT I HAD TO PAUSE I WAS LAUGJINB SO HARD

- You Undead Asshole™️

- Gavin: ( ⚆ _ ⚆ ) fuck he actually heard me talk about my feelings n shit

- Nines: You literally told me you fucking needed me like five minutes ago

- Gavin: huh weird that doesn’t sound like me I actually hate you

- ooOOHHH  S H I T

- REALLY IS THIS REALLY HAPPENIGN

- woah shit sorry I blacked out for a second what happened

- MY POOR LITTLE FUCKING REED900 HEART IS EXPLODING AND IMPLODING AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME

- CAAAAAAAAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE TONIIIGGHTT

- holy shit I actually gave myself a bloody fucking nose because I smacked my face too hard in excitement

- ❤️💘🧡💞💕💘💓💚💛💘💞💓💛💛💞💘❤️💚💘💜💕💖❤️❤️💕💓💗💘💖💚💝❤️

- FUCK

- “What dipshit programmed you to do that?” 🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️FUCK

- My aunt came in and told me she heard me shouting then asked why I was crying

- HAHA FUCKING CHRIS IS MEEEE

- shit I need to like..,,,,physically recover from that

- whew okay break time is over let’s fucking go

- Nines in the cheeky turtleneck I SEE U

- #DETECTIVECHEN2K20

- Gavin: I’m ready to take this hoe DOWN

- Initiate protocol: SAVE ADA FROM HERSELF

- I could listen to Tina talk to dispatch for hours🥰❤️❤️❤️

- WHITE TRENCH COAT WHITE TRENCH COAT WHITE TRENCH COAT WHITE T

- Gavin being hella concerned boyfriend™️

- FIGHT SCENE™️

- omfg that crowbar really went *CLANG* when it hit Ada’s steel fkn abs what a legend💪😎

- Hell yeah epic Nines gif moment

- no Ada don’t choke Gavin it only makes him stronger

- CHRIS THE MOTHER FUCKIN GOAT😎👏👏👏he really said “fuck ur monologue I’m here to get shit done”

- ADA QUEEN YOURE OKAY SWEETIE

- That character development godt damn

- I might be reaching but Gavin is now wearing a white/off-white shirt/gray that kINDA RESEMBLES DREAM!GAVIN’S SHIRT. Coincidence? I THINK NOT. THATS SYMBOLISM IF I EVER DID SEE IT.

- “buyer’s remorse, huh?”

- “I can’t be everything you need.”

- That awkward moment when you realize the person you were hiding your feelings from has also been hiding their feelings from you.

- “a year of that fuckin’...Ken Doll face smirkin’ at me every day” BE CUTER GAVIN, I DARE YOU.

- naked hand = love

- CHEEKY BASTARDS

- FUCK FUCK FUCK ME

- THAT WAS SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL

- So my review of this film could be summed up by saying that I basically cried for an hour and fifteen minutes.

- Holy damn

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 21

IN THIS EPISODE OF MURPHY IS SO VERY SLEEPY BUT THE UPDATE SCHEDULE TAKES NO PRISONERS (FOR THE MOMENT):

“So it’s true,” she wheezed between grit fangs—“that bitch really does have you on a leash.”

KINKY,

me: okay lemme refresh on what happened last chapter-- me: /remembers me: oh yeah! yeah that SUCKED,

lets us continue on the journey of deep and immense sadness with glynda ‘clown shoes’ goodwitch!!!!!!!! here we go here we go

It took a while to pry back the jaws of her soul and wrench herself out of them.

ooh i rly like the context change here. before glynda was kinda falling back into her soul as a way of just Getting On With Shit or protecting herself, but now it’s framed in a fun new way of please can i get out of here now. good job glynda. look at u GROUNDING YRSELF like a CHAMP who should have been in a TKO LIKE FIVE ROUNDS AGO--

What did that mean? Had she asked Cinder about Ochre? Glynda struggled to recall, but the memories swirled like clouded ink in her skull.

i still love the continuation of glynda’s Mysterious Messages To Herself. she leads such a thrilling life of ‘did i write that’ and ‘did i do that’ and ‘what does any of this mean’

Hating herself, Glynda found she couldn’t remember.

and also a less thrilling life of the squeaky clown shoes variety. glynda PLEASE

She had to know: was anything Cinder had given her real?

the YOU and the US,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, the DESTINY. dw babe im sure cinder Has Never Told A Lie, Even Once In Her Life, On Account Of Being A Very Open And Honest Person,

Had she been abandoned? Cinder had been unhappy when she left. Angry, maybe. Angry enough to take her leave for good? Or had she always planned to?

i love watching glynda slowly become kind of,,,,,,,,,,,, more aware of herself in relation to other people? sometimes she still Moves or Does w/o rly thinking it thru, but we’ve got quite a change from, like, early chapters of glynda where she was barrelling along with VERY little disregard for both actions AND consequences,,, but look at her now!!!!!!! using her whole ass BRAIN. im proud of her. 

When she tried to dismiss this first fear, another one was waiting underneath: had something happened to Cinder?

In her attempts to keep Glynda’s soul from smothering them both, Cinder had been quite willing to converse over the phone with her—even if her texts were short and snippy, she usually at least responded, to avoid backlash. Did she not care anymore? Or—

Or was she unable to?

/leans in, like, uncomfortably close to the microphone

glynda darling i do Not mean 2 worry u but yr (future) gf is currently grieving, pissed beyond belief, and also

/checks notes

failing her way into becoming strawberry jam

But, surprisingly, there was another half to Glynda now: one that worried, despite facts, that Cinder was in danger. That Cinder might need her.

GO AND GET THE GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The light caught in every golden thread of her crown emblem, embroidered with diligent precision. But something else caught her eye: the midnight black surrounding it had a sheen to it. Subtle red ducked through the fabric, glittering like burnished stars in a distant night sky: fire Dust.

The flash of a memory: Cinder’s face when Glynda had complained that her last cape had been burned.

This cape would not burn.

okay so no lie i cant read this bit without my eyes starting to water abt just how GOOD this section is and i have cried TOO MANY TIMES over this fic ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T H A N K Y O U F O R T H E F O O D !

CINDER MADE IT FIREPROOF. SHE DIDNT HAVE TO. SHE DIDNT NEED TO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT THE SYMBOLISM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IS U N R E A L. I AM CRYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

GO GET THE GIRL YOU MORON

Glynda didn’t know what to do.

Glynda dialed Winter.

and i am INSTANTLY launched back into the comedy that is glynda goodwitch’s life at large THANKS FOR THE WHIPLASH

“No, I mean… I was awful to you the last time we spoke. I know I was. I keep thinking about it. I’m so sorry, I just… Don’t have anyone else to go to right now. I don’t know who else I’d call.” It was horrible to admit. Loneliness had never shamed her before because her soul had held it at bay. Now it made her sick. “I’m safe. If you don’t want to talk to me…”

LOOK AT THIS CHARACTER GROWTH,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, GLYNDA!!!!!!!! YR DOIN SO WELL BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYONE COME LOOK AT HER THINKING WITH HER M I N D.

“I lashed out at you, Professor Goodwitch. That wasn’t right of me. I should have known that you weren’t truly to blame for what you said. I know Cinder. She’s manipulative. She twists the world and makes you think she’s a different person than who she really is. I blamed you in the moment, but Cinder Fall is truly the person at fault for making you believe that I would try to hurt you. I shouldn’t have raised my voice or said the things I did.”

/rubs face

like winter needs to be in this fic and og was bereft not having her actually take up 30% of the space as she DESERVES, but god i forgot that shes a whole Thing and winter please just. shush. for a moment. for a second. ilusm. but please shut up.

Glynda was pacing, her Scroll levitating near her.

side note but casual uses of glyndas semblance is one of my fav things i love seeing it. glynda ‘look mom no hands’ goodwitch out here,

Glynda closed her eyes. The tactile recollection of cats arching, bristling, and spitting. Backed into corners. “Maybe she was panicking. I don’t know.”

i dont rly have much to say here other than continuing to enjoy Cinder As Cat, the ongoing metaphor. glyndas just gonna pick her up the scruff of the neck eventually and we will ALL b thankful.

ughghghgb im not gonna copy paste this whole convo w/ winter because this is a liveblog not a shitty projection of the fic on the side wall of a bowling alley, BUT GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD glynda is so WORRIED,,,,,,,,,,, past glynda is befuddled. bemused. why does future glynda Feel so much. but future glynda is FEELING and i love her. das yr gf yr worried abt. DAS HER,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, and also yr other gf winter too but like that’s a long-con sort of egg to hatch,

While it had been some time now since Glynda had been in a proper fight, she expected no trouble. This wasn’t Cinder—ergo: this wasn’t a real threat to her. Still, she would bide her time and hold her silence, if only for the chance of getting a hint of what was going on.

This wasn’t Cinder—ergo: this wasn’t a real threat to her.

LADS,,,, LADIES,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, BEANS,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, IS IT GAY,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, TO SEE YR RIVAL AS YR ONLY REAL THREAT,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

The group crossed the room as one unit, guns aloft and eyes peeled, determined to not be ambushed.

Glynda intended to ambush them regardless.

i dont like 2 say when an au gets a character so right that all other interpretations aren’t valid, but.......................... offal hunt gets glynda so right that all other interpretations aren’t valid, and thats that, on that,

One left. Glynda didn’t hesitate. She had been built to fight Grimm; far stronger, far quicker, far more bestial foes than these. She was herself a blade, sharpened far too fine for these intruders.

sounds hot

“Are they...alive?��

Glynda didn’t pause to check.

“Professor? Are they alive?”

glynda: fuck them kids

“How will you get to her?” Winter asked.

“I always find her in the end,” Glynda answered.

hrm,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i wonder if that’s foreshadowing something

Her soul was churning inside her, longing for solace, for Cinder. She could picture the way like a burning trail in her mind’s eye; that bright-yellow tether between herself and Cinder, that pathway between their souls that she had tread so many times before. It always led her to Cinder.

HRM,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I WONDER,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

“Good luck, Glynda.”

“Thank you,” she said again, pausing under the streetlights. “But I won’t need luck. I’ll find her.”

FELLAS,

what a good chapter!!!!!!!!!!! also i cried. BUT I HAD A REAL GOOD TIME. I CAN IMAGINE THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE LESS OF A GOOD TIME, BUT FOR NOW, I WILL ENJOY THE MENTAL IMAGE OF GLYNDA’S BICEPS AND HER FUTURE WEDDING ALSO,

[spadesinglasses]

Love Victor (series)

oooh new format for this post let’s get into itttt.

Below are my reaction per episode. I will be writing them as i finish each so its more clear and fresh and all that jazz.

Let’s see if tumblr posts has a word count limit.

lol wrong title earlier X_X

Note, the #glassthoughts tags is a reaction tag. Its never a review, or an intellectual essay about stuff I watch. I dont have the capacity to do all those.

Spoilers below so beware. Episode 1 is posted separately because I intend to make posts for the first and last epsiode only but that did not work out lol.

EPISODE 2

it took me a looong time to finish this episode. I kept on pausing it because something just feels so wrong about it. I didn’t know what it was when i was going through it, but when it finally ended it finally clicked.

The episode reminds me of the sentiment most homophobes use against gay people. “If you focus on the emotional part of the relationship, you will be happy with the opposite sex.” Growing up ive heard this phrase used against other people so much. Hearing it in my native language has always been a punch in the gut. 

And now this show who is supposed to be something happy and nice, is just having this kind of phrase of mentality just well up there.

I’m sure that its not Victor’s and that he is just exploring his sexuality. But the usual tinge of homophobia whenever he talks that he might be like Simon is honestly grating.

It’s definitely a me issue because other people seem to be enjoying the series immensely, but whenever Victor gets into that headspace, I just hear my child self crying myself to sleep because of internal homophobia.

Also i can see why people say  that for a show that is supposed be about Victor’s sexuality and growth, it does sure show a heck lot of heterosexuality of those who are around him.

Maybe in the future i will rewatch the series again with a more patient mind, but for now, expect me to skip a lot of scenes X_X

End

Episode 3

Okay the audacity of Victor saying “he tries” to be a good friend. Like dang okay chill with the lies. You’re already lying about your sexuality lmao.

Sorry im being very critical and bitter about this show, but i must persevere for the fanfics and fanarts i will gorge myself into later.

anywho reaction time!

Mia and Victor would’ve been cute if only Victor doesn’t sound like he keeps on enforcing this compulsory heterosexuality he has in mind.  BUT hey he might be Bi people! 

I keep censoring myself because of how bitter and hateful i sound. My apologies for the phrases i forgot to delete above and beyond this line xD.

Anyways im over anything about Andrew. He can go fuck his egotistical self. If the series will show 

Hmm i wonder if the term “Comp Het” will even drop in this series.

Back to reaction,

Honestly Felix is just a lesbian in a man’s body at this point. Making his own shampoo? Like wow give me some of that kind of friend. 

The number of times I rolled my eyes at Andrew is ridiculous. 

Whilst typing this part it was more enforced in my mind that Love Victor is just a “supposedly gayer” Teen Wolf without the wolfing parts.

Lake is Lydia Felix is Stiles Andrew is a walmart Jackson Benji is basically a less grumpy Derek or Danny tbh Victor is Scott

I really hate this idea now.

The parents drama! Honestly, very unnecessary in my opinion. Victor is already dealing with a religious family, now he has to deal with a religious and broken family? Like dang they could’ve just chosen one struggle for him, now everyone will think his sexuality is a consequence for his parents’ sin or sth.

Maybe it’ll play into a bigger plot twist in the future?

Maybe Victor’s mom is cheating with Mia’s father? Seeing as how there was an unnecessary shot of her father with the back of a woman facing on the camera which is weird but okay. 

Im theorizing now X_X

Anyways have y’all seen how poor Felix was so nervous because his goddamn friend isn’t there to supposedly help him?

Sorry im hating on Victor too much but this scene reminds me of how awful Simon’s friends are and like bruuuh is Felix supposed to be the lead character?

He really is like Stiles who is supposed to be the lead for Teen Wolf in my opinion, he’s just a much better written character that Sc/tt

lmao sorry my issues with other series is bleeding into this one X_X

End

Episode 4

Not much to say without getting too salty so moving onnn.

End

Episode 5

This series is just showing all the fear and pain i went through and am going through back when I was a teenager and til now. Without getting into any personal stuff, that last bs Victor’s father spewed just hit me so much.

I guess one of the reasons why its hard for me to watch Love Victor is because it shows me the teenager side of me way back when. Minus the girlfriend one because i never really persevered that much to tamper any likes for men. Internal homophobia really hit me back then tho xD

End

Episode 6

This episode is a mess and I hate it.

We saw yet again Victor literally using Felix’s ignorance and naivety to get himself out of a situation he put himself into. 

AND Felix even got the wrong idea or got fed with the wrong idea that the reason why Victor brought him along is to act as a buffer because he wasn’t ready to give up being a virgin or have sex in general. Yep that is definitely the reason, no other reason at all that involves making latte art with a known barista.

Lake and Felix kissed so there was that. I still am shipping Victor and Felix together despite Victor’s continuous bs with him being a good friend, but that’s just me.

And totally knew Andrew and Mia got a thing. If this blew up and hurt Lake im suing.

Lake and Felix are literally the two people keeping this show intact. Not gonna drop some political statement here no sir.

Again Benji needs to grow a personality out of this whole barista thing. One thing i am grateful for this show is that there was no family drama at all!

I think.

End

Episode 7

UGHHH MISS ME WITH THAT NORMAL TALK.

Ive been making a conscious effort to stop saying that heterosexuality is normal. That shit is hard to unlearn because its what ive always heard in my asian household for yeaaaaaaars. And now this twink is just gonna throw the term around like he has no issues with it. TO SIMON EVEN.

Like brooooooh. Im over my 2010 internal homophobia, no need to dig it all up again. Every episode.

Aww the dancing in different clothes is cute but,

FUCKING VICTOR LIED JUST FOR WHAT?

Homeboy be doing the most to keep his fucking sexuality from bursting out, with his foot both planted firmly inside the closer AND THEN THE NEXT SECOND would end up as if he is ready to risk it all just to see Benji naked.

I AM FUCKING livid, confused, and just intense emotion everywhere.

Ive seen a couple of dumbo scenes from other shows that got the “closeted” man be doing literally the most obvious shit that could make anyone catch them, BUT THIS, with how VEHEMENT Victor is against being “NOT NORMAL” AND THEN LIE JUST TO STAY IN A MOTEL WITH THE GLORIFIED HOT GUY, takes the goddamn cake.

The fucking hypocrisy man. Ive battled internal homophobia before, AND ACKNOWLEDGE THAT WE ALL DEAL WITH IT DIFFERENTLY but holy fucksticks. I’m not this evil.

The thing is, there is so much a person could do that you could go “ah its because they are in the closet and is afraid to come out” before it goes to the territory of “fucking hell, this is not just about his sexuality, this is just him now doing stuff consciously to take advantage of his supposed fear”. The girlfriend thing is even waaay over the top, but we all went with it because he’s supposed to be figuring things out. BUT most of the time, he literally could not even imagine going beyond the line HE CREATED for their relationship. AND YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT HE WILL LIE JUST TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH A GUY? Now he wants to test the male side of his sexuality? BECAUSE PORN DOESN’T EXIST?  BECAUSE LOOKING AT MALE UNDERWEAR MODELS IN THE UNDERWEAR SECTION IS NOT ENOUGH? HE NEEDS IT TO BE ACTUALLY PHYSICAL TO CONFIRM SOMETHING?

Im ahead too much, real time the scene im in the episode is still them about to leave the shop but holy fucking hell. If this lie ended up becoming something more in this same episode, expect more capslock because jfc.

And people will still claim he’s somewhat attracted to the other gender. 

AND SOMETHING DID HAPPENED. ANDREW AND MIA KISSED

FUCKIN VICTOR

Also i was very very worried that Pilar and Felix will be a thing BUT THANK GOD THAT DIDN’T BECOME A THING. Still unsure whether i like Lake and Felix together, but i love them individually.

I cant really comment on any of the parents drama because to be honest i skip them whenever its just her and him.

These two fuckers lie to one another. BECAUSE OF WHAT? THEY WANT TO FUCKIN STICK THEIR TONGUES INTO ONE ANOTHERS MOUTH? IS THIS REALLY WHERE THIS SHOW IS GOING? AND THEY ALMOST CENSORED IT BECAUSE ITS GAY? NOT THE OTHER HORRIBLE STUFF THAT IS HAPPENING?

Im tired.

But i hafta finish the show for fanarts and fanfics.

okay Benji has a legitimate reason for lying. I’ll take that.

See people you see me live writing this whole rant thing :D.

BOY TOOK MONTHS KISSING MIA FOR MIA TO ONLY SAY THEIR TONGUES GRAZE SOMETIMES.

bUT THE SAME GUY JUST WENT LAPLAPAN TO THE MAX WITH BENJI THE ONE NIGHT THEY SPENT TOGETHER?

REALLY PEOPLE? REALLY?

Huh I wonder back when I was his age, would I also just kiss the first gay guy i became comfortable with? Despite being so into the closet and battling internal homophobia via punching the walls?

Dang that monologue tho. We as non het doesn’t want our lives to be hard. But at this point, i stopped blaiming my own sexuality and just started blaming heterosexuals for making the world this fucking horrible for us. That’s when my internal homophobia SLOWLY lessen. It’s still there but hey at least every crosshair  is not on me.

Okay i get people saying that Simon is irresponsible for making Victor like put his family on the back burner for a bit etc etc. Also the reaction against Benji getting mad when Victor wanted them to stop being gay while in their house, is reasonable. Victor did calmly told Benji and his beau that his family is stretched thin etc etc. I get that. I get that sometimes hiding your sexuality for other people is what is necessary.

BUT  fucking please recognize how damaging that is to the person you are talking to. Even if you think Victor is in the 100% right about this, AT THE VERY LEAST acknowledge why Benji is mad. Sure he could’ve just left with his boyfriend instead of just staying there. And sure Victor pulled through in the end and put that dusty grandpa motherfucker to his place, but that’ll fucking sting okay.

Also i might be saying all this in a place where I’m not really that close to ANY of my relatives, so ya know, call me ignorant or ungrateful whatever.

END

Episode 8

Okay uhh Mia and Andrew is still a thing APPARENTLY.

AWW BRAM IS CUTE

Lol Simon’s “Yay boobs” like please Victor keep the heterosexual drama out of this chatroom lmao.

Also Felix group texting the others is hilarioussss.

If Victor touches or says one bad thing at Bram? its on sight.

Also Im not sure what to feel with Mia getting jealous at Andrew. Like girl you were the one who said he’s nothing, and now this? Issa bad look honey.

Victor is embarassing. Are all extroverts just this i dunno peppy? 

You know what makes me happy in this episode? Keiynan’s attitude bleeding out to Bram’s character. I love it!

Goddd Keiynan is so hot XD

hahahaha this episode is lighter thank god.

“why would they want to help a complete stranger” because they are good people and surprisingly they still exist! 

Ohhh So it seems like Nick Robinson filmed his scenes for this episode on a different day. Ive never seen him be with the main group. That’s weird.

END

Episode 9

Benji distancing himself because he wants to make his 1 year relationship work? Good guy! Him not saying to his boyfriend about the coworker of his kissing him? Bad move.

Sure we can all talk about how little stuff doesn’t need to be told to your lover if you’re sure its not gonna happen again. The thing is,  communication is key. Y’all will talk about communication being integral in a relationship but keep shit like this in the DL because yOU’RE JUST THAT SURE IT AINT GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN? Fo real?

Also Benji is feeling guilty for a reason.

Vincent is very in the wrong for kissing a taken man just because said taken man is comfortable with him or showed vulnerability. Victor is in the wrong 100% and I’ll never forget that.

Felix and that hug with Victor is adorableeee. Love that coming out scene. Again raising my eyebrows at those who say Victor is Bi.

Felix showing what’s in his apartment is fucking great. No wonder we don’t see his mom or anything. They say that the saddest people are always the one who will do their best to keep everyone happy. Felix is being peppy, have these random phrases he use to just amuse people makes sense.

In this household, we protect Felix no matter what. HOPEFULLY next season we get to fucking know his surname or sth.

Again nothing new with the drama surrounding the parents. I hate them and honestly i am so annoyed by the father’s face and everything. (still have that hatred from One day at  time but we don’t talk about that here)

The letter is stupid and i wonder what Pilar will do about it. Are we gonna get a To All the boys i loved before thing?

OH Felix giving Lake an ultimatum. Wow what a move honestly. On one hand Felix has the right to protect himself. He wants to be free with who he loves, and keeping it a secret stopped being amusing because he knew what it feels like to hide a part of yourself.

Lake’s confidence has been obviously shot and damaged by her mother. Not saying that justifies what she is doing  BUT it came from somewhere. A night with Felix talking to her about his life IS NOT going to just uproot all those thoughts from her mind. As much as i love Felix, he is not a solution.

hmm what else. The father can go die for all i care. Lmao.

END

Episode 10

OH I THOUGHT PILAR KNOWS NOW BUT NOOOO

OH NOOO O NO NO NOOO

AND ANDREW STIRRING SHIT UP NOOOOOO

PILAR STOOOOP

NOO NOT PUBLICLY

OMFG

 I CANNOT.

Also i cannot get over Andrew’s actor looking like Stromae. They have the same eyes, eyebrows and expressions X_X

THIS IS WHY WE DONT KEEP SHIT BEFORE A PUBLIC EVENT. IT ALWAYS EXPLODES ON A PUBLIC EVENT.

YOU BET YOUR ass i skipped the whole confrontation scene. I’ll go back to it maybe or just look at gifs but nope. My cancer rising and moon can’t handle that shit.

Is ... is Mia going to see Victor and Benji together and then theorize? Because god freaking damnit im tired of that plot twist.

Oh Benji. Honey honey honey please don’t do whatever I think you’re about to do.

FUCKING NEW IT. CALLED IT. CALLED ITITTTT MIA FUCKIGN SAW I HATE VERYTHING.

....

wait the way the ending was shot is weird. The cliffhanger is weird. Everything is weird.

ILL MAKE A HUNCH that it was actually just Victor in his dream land thinking that coming out is that easy and that you just blurt it out.

Bet you the next season will start with no body but Felix and Mia and Andrew know about his sexuality.

The shot was too much on Victor. There was no sound cue from the family etc etc.  I hate the ending so much. Love Victor could’ve been so much more. Could’ve pioneered a fresh way to show lgbt stories and how coming out is this and that. Even if the show is for Gen Z and this generation, coming out should reflect to how coming out is generally perceived nowadays. But i guess that was too much. Foolish me for having my expectations waay too high.

The End

[fart-gate]

SG1

Season 2 episode 22

"OUT OF MIND"

Notes by me

- we start with a nice drink of shirtless jack👀

- this seems fish

- this lady is Ellen from Supernatural

- 2077??? I will be 80 by then

- every thing is slightly different. Like a parallel universe

- is this another time travel episode. Is Jack gonna go back in time to save sg1

- I feel like with all that time they would have already found out what happened to sg1. I am VERY suspicious

- shes aggressivly grabbing his face

- Jack is handsome in this episode for my eyes only ✨

- oh its a recap episode lol time for a bunch of flashbacks!

- I miss the nox :\ those funky forest dudes

- shes so aGGRESSIVE WITH EVERYTHING

- is she trying to get info on the asgard. I feel like that would be the race the bad guys want to fight the most

- ah yes remember when we thought we were getting a spaceship. Thanks for nothing thor

- these 4 races seem important. They keep bringing them up. Still dont know what a furling is

- I was not prepared to see wet shirtless Daniel writers you cant just spring that on me

- this is all a bad guy ploy im calling it now

- did they cut his hair?????

- Sam is way more alert than the others

- lady let slip she doesnt know apophis is dead !!! U confirmed ur a bad guy!!

- with the apophis flashback I just realized that if Daniel hadnt been hurt and gone back thru the gate than they wouldnt have had any room in the gliders for him anyway

- shirtless pale Daniel hrng

- HIS HAIR IS CUT CONFIRMED. I knew it was cut in the third season but the last episode of the second? Thats odd and I already miss the flop

- his face when he says "and hathor.." God can we not have him remember his horrible trauma for 2 seconds

- flash back to when they set worm soup on fire

- OKAY FINE I WILL ADMIT short hair Daniel is handsome

- TEALC??? is he okay or is this a dream

- hes so adamant about not leaving them

- "my friends"

- hammond not letting him resign like no! Hes not letting his best recruit just walk out

- "I would die before divulging any information concerning this world" its ffine I'm just gonna die real quick no worries

- so the nurses are just jaffa with no forehead things

- tealcs not actually leaving right. I dont want this

- jacks not gonna be happy you resigned buddy!

- speaking of Jack. Love the white outfit

- the zoom out in the hall. U ok cameraman

- I will always love the jaffa music

- whos he gonna find first 5 bucks its Daniel

- they really recreated this whole base huh

- Sam wins! I owe someone 5 bucks

- *points to sign* ✨sams boobs✨

- are we gonna see memories of her and Jack giving each other Longing Looks or what. I want what I paid for

- or not! Horrible memories of Jack being impaled

- his face when she sits up and he fully realizes shes naked

- when they are back to front 👀 when will they kiss

- they found daniel!

- "its still 1999 as far as we know" I was 1 rip me

- "I have questions but they can wait"

- daniels oversized sg1 outfit💞 thank u costume department

- FUCKING HATHOR. I THOUGHT WE'D SEEN THE LAST OF YOU

- "I was SO hoping never to see you again"

- when she walks up to Daniel and says I missed you

Me:

- "dont let her breathe on you" apparently hathor just has the WORST breathe

- daniels reaction to her is just :( he backs away and doesnt know what to do

- Jack said eat a mint bitch

- hathor: would you care for a worm in this trying time?

Me: how about i pistol whip you instead

-- to be continued --

~

Whump under the cut

Jack Oniell whump: cryo stasis, confused, weak, face grabbed, noises, temple device, flinching, drugged, flashback of being jaffa

Sam carter whump: cryo, temple device, confused, head pain, flinching

Daniel jackson whump: cryo, temple device, pale, sweaty , confused , faced with his rapist

[arreumddawo]

27/3/21

HIIIIIIIIII, i’ve only blinked and its already MARCH. this time last year, what was i doing? i think i’ve already went for this current job interview and then a while later, the lockdown was announced~ but wow, time really flies huh. *cues the angmoh man blinking gif*

for the most part, i really want to write down the feelings i’ve been feeling (melancholy and loneliness) for the past few days and how i’ve sorted them out internally AND how i just want the future nabilah to just READ this and REMIND HERSELF that everything will be okay. it will be okay you dramatic, overreacting bitch! it will be okay. haha okay lets starteu~

#/melancholy 

i’ve been feeling downcast the past few days. i dont even know where to begin. melancholy as well as feelings of sadness and depression have always been a part of me since 2017 im not gonna lie but lately, these episodes got a little bad despite me trying to keep myself occupied hahah. for the most part, i am just really really afraid of getting older. i really am. its not so much of the “getting older part” which gets to me i guess but its more of how lately, i just want to turn the hands of time and go back to my past when i was 16 in secondary school (heck even primary school) and just live a life where i didnt have to worry about anything except for studying you know? where times were simpler and i was (definitely) happier. i miss wearing a school uniform, i miss only having to worry about my studies, i miss being at home at noon and watching disney channel until i accidentally nap and not understanding trig/physics/chem. oh- what id give to be in my youth again. id do anything. i would study harder and change my whole course of life and hope that i could be someone im proud of. im desperately clinging on to good memories. i terribly miss being young. i really do.

and recently, i feel like im expiring, i feel old (really old) which is funny cos ive only turned 23 BUT the fact will always be that im turning 24 this year (2021) AND its when the bone-crushing realisation of getting old really sinks in (for me). i find myself looking back at my accomplishments (which trust me is little to none) and i just feel like people are accomplishing great things (even at such a young age). there’s nothing in my life where i can truly be proud of. what have you done with your life, nabilah? questions i ask myself everyday. but then again, people would say the past experiences have shaped who i am today and without them, i would’ve been a completely different person WHICH brings me back to the next point. the current me right now who is writing this post is not someone im all that proud of either. i feel like- i feel like im struggling (keyword: struggling) to achieve great things before i turn 30 (and trust me when i say i dont even want to live that long of a life). i’m tired of adulting, of getting old, of having to worry about financial issues, of having to worry about whether i’m at that milestone where everyone expects me to be, of wondering whether im really suited for this field im currently working in. im aware that it may be very shallow of me to think this way considering that there are some people in their 30s who will probably read this, laugh at me and say “you’re still young + you still have a long way + you still have time to figure out your life” but the FACT is THAT im NOT young! i still have a long time to figure out my life? yeah that is if i plan to live way over my 30s (which i DONT). side note, my biggest fear is actually living a long life. so.. like.. what now?  

#/loneliness

this is a very touchy topic for me considering that i am planning to devote myself to the single life and dying a virgin because i really dont think (keyword: really, really) there’s a man good enough for me out there. even if there is, he lives only in my imagination. and yes, as embarrassed as i am to admit it, YES i do feel lonely at times. honestly, i really thought that loneliness is something im able to handle really well considering that ive been single.. what? my whole life? LOL HAHAHAH (its true. sucks to be ugly.) but yeahhhh as of late, during times when things get hard at work and i start tearing up in public transport on the way home, when home doesnt feel like home anymore, when the world conspires against me... i look up and wonder @God, “don’t i deserve someone who i can talk to, who loves me for who i am, who doesnt mind the mess i am?” ok that was abit cringey but yeah i used to be ashamed of secretly wanting someone special despite swearing to the single life BUT thats just how it is! and honestly i feel that humans are not psychologically meant to be lonely, that is why we’ll always crave for a partner (even if we dont need one). but all that aside, its not like im going to even try and find one (like i said, there is no one good enough for me out there) and i absolutely detest the idea of getting married and having kids so i will have to suck this lonely feeling up and just live. for the most part, i just wanted to point out how lonely this adult life can be.

side note: its really great that i have a really good support system (my siblings and friends), so yeah.. i’m really grateful for that<3.

things i want the future nabilah to read (now that i have come to terms with these feelings):

phew that was a rollercoaster now wasnt it. now that you’ve typed all that and acknowledged what you feel, i have a few things to say to you.

i just want you to know that you are (as much as you dont want to hear this or dont believe in this), you are doing well (at least the future you reading this wont look back and be embarrassed of who you were). you may not have done well for o’s, may have slacked a bit during poly and uni and regret everything academic wise (and yes personality wise) but always remember that, these things do not define the authentic real you. not getting into a local university and not achieving greater things in life during your youth, these are trifle things that you shouldnt be ashamed of or even beat yourself up about. after all, they dont matter in the afterlife?? so like, stop it. its not like you can go back to the past and change it, you only have control of the present and thats WHAT you have to work on. as tough as it may be, as much as you refuse to get old, the harsh reality is that you have to and you will. you have a degree and you’re getting experience working in the field you have always been curious about and you’re on your way to get a another diploma under your belt. you’re really doing the most if i must say??. and you’re so lucky to be able to love what you studied and do what you like. off track and a side note, i wanted to tell you that i woke up today feeling a tremendous shift in me (and i really honestly think its because of the conversations i had with zim, bff and syiqs the past consecutive days). but i honestly woke up feeling excited at what i have to offer the world. you may not be the prettiest and the smartest but the amount of love you have (and willing to give) in your heart, the feelings of empathy you’re capable of and the change you want to make in lives.. these are things that define you and you can do just that. there are times where you will definitely feel afraid and wonder if you’re doing the right thing but as long as you keep reminding yourself of your morals and values, i think you’re pretty much on the right track. 

and i know, i know you hate yourself more than anything else in this world. the face you see in the mirror and the horrible things you feel inside you, your dumb thoughts and all that but i really pray that in the years to come, you’ll grow to be kinder to yourself (and definitely the people around you). be kinder to yourself and have courage to face your flaws and work towards being a better person everyday. be kind to everyone (especially your parents) and just have a little faith that you can go through many hurdles in your life. you cannot do everything but you can do some great things and that is enough. i dont have to remind you that everything here and now in this world is just temporary right? remember the podcast you heard yesterday? true happiness will be in the afterlife, inshaAllah. death will come for you, you just have to be patient and never forget to work towards the afterlife. also dont feel too lonely. ultimately, you know you dont have the mental capacity for things like marriage and having kids and all but dear nabilah, if you get lucky and love comes to you one day through Allah, i hope that you dont close your doors firmly shut to it and embrace it if you may (only run when the guy proposes cos u aint got no time for that). last but not least, please never let go of good memories. cling on to them and let them be attestations of your kindness and love. always be kind and always try to be better for the people around you. i hope you’re smiling as you read this, i hope you’re proud of who you have become and i hope that you continue to always remind yourself of amazing person you are, despite all that you went through. 

- 23 year old nabilah (technically 24 this year but hey SUCK IT TIME IS A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT)

[groundramon]

Homph I finished tri and I wrote down my thoughts as I was watching because I had too many funny shitposts and nobody to share them with bc charlie hasn’t watched tri yet

PS i wont be reblogging tri spoilers (besides MINOR stuff like, digivolutions of already confirmed digivolution lines or non-spoilery shitposts, but I’ll try to tag shitposts as #tri spoilers anyways [digivolutions specific to tri ill tag as well but not ones that were already basically confirmed]) for a while so ur safe here!  I’m just gonna like everything/most things because then I can rb em to hisyaryumon lmao (also u should check out hisyaryumon....its me n charlie’s digimon blog)

EP 1:

- ok. alright. ok. good. they’re dealing with kari’s emotions now instead of just. nothing.  ok. alright. cool.  Still dont like how obscure/”artsy” they’re being with it, this is digimon not kagerou project, but ok.

- Also. I stand by tk and kari being one of the few good straight ships in digimon.  just saying.

- kari: this is my fault... me: god damn it shut up you little brat also me: god relatable ALSO me: ill take whatever display of emotions i can get

- I love how nobody believes tai is dead like.  They’re upset and worried but they’re also like “nah. he cant be. that fucking asshole just left us in our time of need” (actually only matt is the last one)

- Gabumon i would die for you also im crying and I think that’s the first time tri managed to make me fucking CRY

EP 2:

- I had thoughts but then the 02 kids happened and I entered another plane of reality.  I don’t feel real right now

- the only one I can remember is evil!gennai being a dumbass and being like “SUFFER AND SQUIRM YOU PATHETIC HUMANS AS YOU FIGHT OVER THE LAST SEAT” 1. humans are KNOWN for their ability to care for others you dumb obvious fuck and 2. is. is the entire tube going? because that tube can fit too people if they squish.  This isn’t a joke I’m serious it can.

- oh yeah also when i saw whomstever the fuck his name is (adult guy who i love but fuck names) and he was all bloodied i was like “its a cold day in hell when i see blood in digimon” (I think there was blood in an earlier ep but shh idc)

EP 3:

- didn’t nishijima start off as a fucking life coach to these kids.  What the fuck he was supposed to help them find a career not emotionally scar them by bloodily dying in front of one of them

- im realizing that the reason hackmon was always in his cloak, in the shadows, standing still is that they cannot animate him in any normal position for the life of him.  I drew him with better anatomy when i was 14 and didn’t have a tablet.  No seriously, look:

I didn’t say it wasn’t bad, you guys are just underestimating how bad the anatomy on this poor creature is.  Why cant ppl draw dracomon or hackmon correctly imma cry

- ordinemon has the best reaction faces

the best part about these two screenshots is that they literally cut one to the other, first the first one to the second one and then it cuts back to the first one.  They were really proud of these stupid ass expressions.

- I started overcoming my dissociation shock from the second episode and my hypercritical mind was analyzing the shit out of everything that happened (it is Not happy) but then evil!gennai called kari and evil goddess and idk if he’s exaggerating to make her feel bad or if she’s literally a fucking god of chaos and destruction and either way im like

she did kinda like.  Watch wizardmon die, watch tai die, watch gatomon get absorbed.  The dark ocean is just a metaphor for depression and honestly if 02 wasn’t all over the fucking place I think Kari would’ve had some pretty decent development in it.  Actually you know what, I’m using that as an angle to approach Tri at now, wish me luck bc i might actually give it more leeway now

EP 4:

- I’m not dissociating but I forgot to say anything again and I already forgot what happened

- Cant believe mei is fucking dead

EP 5:

- I like to imagine that Tai got there like a few minutes ago, but he was like “well damn guess yall figured it out without me.  alright ill just. see if I need to do anything” and then meicoomon was Still Bad so he waited for when she struck just to make the most badass entrance possible.  Fucking extra ass bitch

- I forgot to write anything again but uhhh I wasn’t satisfied so anyways lets just get into the Juicy Details

Originally I was actually planning to be kinder to Tri than I expected.  Was very invested during it.  ‘Round the end of the last ep I realized hmmm no this isn’t working out.  Where are the 02 kids.  You should’ve brought them in to save the day.  That would’ve been SO cool and SO fun.  Fucking cowards.

god I’m kinda tired so I’m going to address a couple things I still had problems with, note that this isn’t everything it’s just everything I felt comfortable yelling about without rewatching past eps.  Like I forgot nishijima was all bloodied and presumably died in the last part until they brought it up and I was like “????” ALSO DID THE LADY WHO WAS HIS PARTNER OR W/E KILL HERSELF WITH THE GUN SHE FOUND, I JUST REALIZED LITERALLY AS I WAS TYPING THIS THAT SHE FOUND A GUN AND THEN I THINK IT CUT TO BLACK AND I’M

DID SHE FUCKING KILL HERSELF WHAT THE FUCK

anyways my problems:

1. They did joe. really dirty.  I’ll write a more proper rant on this sometime later (mostly bc charlie is MUCH better at talking about joe than I am) but basically I can tell you that his character development in the movies squandered his OG character development.  He’s basically an entirely different person.  Like Tri joe isn’t bad, besides being largely neglected (yes he has a whole half a movie to himself, no that doesn’t make up for it all), its just...not OG joe.  He’s a fine character just not the same character, and its NOT fine when you put the two together.

2. THEY DID THE 02 KIDS EVEN DIRTIER IM SO BITTER sorry you nostalgia-blind, money-hungry fucks at bandai, but the 02 cast is PART OF THE ADVENTURES UNIVERSE.  The only people who hate 02 are ones who like the characters but hate the mess of the storyline at the end, or are completely irrational and elitist about their love of the digimon series and would greatly re-evaluate their opinions if they watched the original series and 02 back to back.  They couldn’t even show them in some kind of group montage at the end??? Standing in the background when they call Mei???  Why couldn’t they call mei from a home phone also, but that’s a less important problem idc that much.  It was a cute scene besides the lack of 02 characters.  Whatever.  AND THE PROBLEM IS LIKE kari and tk?  This entire time???  Were like “oh they disappeared. oops” instead of being frantically searching for their lost friends???  Like i get tk and kari probably have fucking ptsd and can’t express any emotions because they watched important people die in front of their eyes at an incredibly young age but also 1. they didn’t address the ramifications of ptsd, so fuck that theory/excuse and 2. THAT??? WOULD ONLY MAKE THEM LOOK HARDER??? and put on a brave face as they look, but inside they’re so scared and so worried.  Not just “oh sweet, they were found/saved, theyre in the hospital but that’s fine” like WHAT theyre fucking assholes if that’s what they’d canonically do lmao.  God I am SO bitter over the ENTIRE thing with the 02 kids, it would’ve been BETTER if they were deleted from the fucking canon entirely.  Would I have still been bitter?  Yes.  But at least I wouldn’t be madder at TK and Kari too.

3. I stand 100% by the notion that Digimon is not and will never be cut out to be an adults’ franchise.  It wasn’t designed for adults, and it can’t be skewered towards adults.  These particular characters were designed for kids to relate to and find entertaining.  They do not work when placed into an adult setting.  Like, can you imagine a character like Ed from FMA going to the Digimon world?  I guess in a way that’s just Marcus but like.  Just imagine the FMA cast in Digimon Adventure.  It doesn’t work.  Digimon Tri is basically that except real.  Also Data Squad was darker than Adventure so my joke doesn’t even work.

I guess my primary point is that Tri isn’t mature enough of a setup for an adult audience.  It puts a focus on being “complex” and “philosophical” instead of working within Digimon’s constraints and making something good and adult out of that.  Like!  Digimon is a fucking TOY COMMERCIAL.  Don’t give me messages about the futility of human life.  I want bad puns and emotional characters.  That’s what Digimon has ALWAYS been, and ideally always will be.  Tri could’ve made itself more mature by dealing with the ramifications of the Digital World’s events, how it affected the kids psychologically and dealing with healing old scars.  It would’ve been a more mature take on a story we loved and would use things we loved about the story already - the fact that it took so much time exploring characters’ emotions and was surprisingly mature for the time - to make itself better.  You need to take the aspects that drew adults to the show and amplify them, not just slap on a complex story and unfunny dialogue and be like “oh this is fine, right?”

It’s not that Digimon can’t exist as an adult property, its just that if it repeats what Tri did, it’s got no merit and in my eyes the franchise is dead.  If it survives I guess I’ll be happy that people can still enjoy it but I find it unsustainable and unsatisfying to fans of the older series.  Tri is just a fuckfest of highly specific nostalgia that tries too hard to appeal to old fans without capturing what made the original series so magical, and in part thats because the original series WASN’T FOR ADULTS.  I don’t know about the Digimon Story games, bc they’re T-rated so perhaps they’re a better take on an adult Digimon story than Tri?  But you either need to make your own characters and lore specifically for an adult-oriented Digimon season, or perish.  Also, please make it a series and not a group of movies.  Getting four eps every 6-9 months was hell.

I stand by saying Appmon is a more faithful Digimon season than Tri to Digimon’s original spirit.  I believe it holds more potential for success than Tri and better embodies the spirit of the older Digimon seasons.  It’s dumb, its corny, it has horrible puns, but I LOVE it because it also has a deep dark story and emotional moments.  If you dislike Tri and you agree with things I said that make it unlikeable, I highly recommend giving Appmon a chance - if you watch a few episodes and think “oh yeah, I guess this is decent” you’re going to like it.  It’s everything Digimon has always been and hopefully always will be, just with a different concept.  And hopefully the end of the series doesn’t leave a sour taste in my mouth and I have to redact this statement haha since I’m not done with it yet, but I’ve heard good things about it so I’m hoping not so.

Overall, if you watch Tri, don’t get your hopes up.  It resolves everything okay-ish but it’s a pretty forgettable anime on its own and simply doesn’t work as part of the Digimon franchise.

I am, however, pretty interested in what evil!gennai said at the end about Diaboromon and Daemon.  It raises interesting questions about the timeline too.  We know Daemon is in the dark ocean, so perhaps that’s a hint at a future project?  (They did confirm a future project btw, in conjunction with tri being over)  But what about Diaboromon?  I dont believe that Our War Game (I think thats what its called?) took place after Tri, based on the outfits and ages and stuff, but I also don’t remember the movies that well.  Could Diaboromon still be out there too?  It’s interesting.

However, because of the lackluster performance of Tri, I don’t have my hopes up and I really hope that this “next project” goes in a different direction.  Although I guess if they include the 02 kids, I’ll be somewhat less salty...

Side note, did they ever explain why the gennais went evil?  Like ?  That’s a pretty important thing.  The gennais helped SAVE the human world in 02.  And I get that apparently Tri is ignoring 02′s ending but still.  It’s shitty, because Gennai was still a good guy in the original too (and also they cant just keep is younger look and act like 02 never happened)  MAYBE its something I missed but I dont think so.  God there’s just.  So much wrong with Tri.  I’m very displeased and very bitter and I wanna get back to Appmon asap.

It’s got good moments, its got bad moments, I dont know, I don’t care.  There’s nothing wrong with you if you like it, there’s nothing wrong with you if you don’t, and there’s nothing wrong with you if you flip flop and are split like me.  I just wish Tri fulfilled its potential instead of becoming a boring mess.

[survivorreelsmagicwithin]

Episode 1A - “The Hufflepuffs are too nice even for me”-Ruthie

This is not the tribe I would have picked. I do not know anyone here which means I am at a disadvantage from the start. However, I am really connecting with Jules right now so maybe I can vibe with them enough to get an immediate ally. But I still need someone else. I am still figuring out my tribe so it will take me a hot minute to adjust. I hope I am not the first boot. I am going to pull my weight in this challenge and pull my first W ever!

I'm fucked, Jess knows how i play bc she literally just hosted me for Old west like a month ago. Whoops. Also joanna is in a competely different house than be so I'm crying. So far I do like my other housemates but we'll see how much of a slytherin they truly are as the days go by.

why. does. this. cast. have. to. be. full. of. icons. i'm really not that good at survivor?? hopefully i do okay??? just tryna be social and shit. (also Ravenclaw is the best)

I’m heading to bed and the boys are about to have a call... I hope an all boys alliance isn’t about to form I’m not here for that! So far I’ve just talked to Kevin and Lily one on one and so far I really like both of them! I’m going to get to know the others tomorrow. This cast is so iconic. I talked to Owen before I read that we weren’t supposed to and he and I are going to go to final two together if neither of us get voted out!

i am SO NERVOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DONT HAVE ANY INITIAL GOOD VIBES ABOUT ANYONE ON MY TRIBE!!!!!! NOT A PERSON!!!!!!!! AND I DONT WANT TO BE THAT ANNOYING BITCH ASKING THEM QUESTIONS ABOUT THEIR LIVES!!!! AND SHIT!!!!!!!!! ugh i dont want to be first boot EITHER LIKE!!!!!!! ugh. uGH.

Me and Jules are literally kindred souls. I love her so much already and she is my ride or die for the rest of the season. Fuck these other bitches!

Why do I feel like I am the only one putting in effort for this challenge. At least this means I will be safe for a hot minute, right?

Okay so... Max and Landen still haven't accepted my friend request I noticed when I just tried to message them.  I'm still talking to Kevin and Lily A LOT!  Kevin is so easy to talk to and Lily is too and she and I have SO much in common!  I really like the idea of aligning with the two of them but I'm too nervous to suggest it just yet. 

 Also, my wand was special and I got a special idol hunt out of it!  I didn't find anything but still!  I'm glad that I at least got one word??  Not sure if our team will win a reward or not but it would be nice!

Honestly, my tribe seems to be particularly inactive and nonchalant. I am the most active person here, in my opinion. It is kind of frustrating, however, to be the only one trying in this challenge except for the very few and far between exceptions. Joshua even forgot about the challenge entirely! I hope to God that these people, if we have to go to tribal because we lose the immunity challenge, do not vote me out. Honestly, it would make no sense since I am already proving that I will be a challenge asset and very active. I would make the best ally out of everyone on my tribe! I would be allies with myself!

I LOVE YOU OWEN BUT PLEASE GO SUCK A DICK. You need to stop. Wth, go back to school so we can get some points. You too Kevin DX But we're in the lead so far *knock on wood* and hopefully stay that way. Love Jess and I hope I can take her to like f4 but I think I want to take Joanna and Owen to f3 if I even make it that far

This cast.... WHOA!!!! feel like yall had to put some of these ppl under imperius curse to get them back because I havent seen these faces in a WHILE!!!! Ruthie is a queen, first thing we messaged to each other was f2 <333 love her but dont trust that she wont turn on me at some point lol. Raffy my little island of shade bro, and Autumn <3 crossroads queen.... nice to see some of my children back here. I'm glad Jess is in the game because I like her a lot but I did just disappoint her in eve's challenge game so...we will see. but i love jess regardless :) ummmm... so happy I was sorted onto the brain tribe, then immediately proceeded to fuck up several times in the spelling challenge LOL

My tribe is nice though. I'm glad I'm with Dan - we have a weird history in games, but we've both been here for 7/8 years at this point and our ancient bones will prob work together. I already think him and Jules are going to be my alliance on this tribe <3 jules is AMAZING but I can tell they (? is this correct pronouns i dont remember and it wasnt in the posts) are a social legend and are going to be on EVERYONE's good side. love them though already, we have a lot in common and it was easier to talk to them + also get into a bit of game chat.

Joanna and Miguel....not so much. I like them both fine, but they don't know how to converse. I asked them all a shit ton of questions and they didn't ask a SINGLE thing back???? Like...okay work! I can't do it all for you, give me somethin!!!! I do like them both, it's just....they don't give a shit about me! LOL

Miguel is also an awkward one because I played with him LEGIT five years ago or more, in a game where we were on opposite sides. I'd rather work with him based on that connection than not but...apparently he already told Jules that we were against each other before??? and he's barely spoken to me so whatever. I like him, he's cute and he's funny, but.... if he's telling people more about me than he's willing to even get out of me myself, it's a no from me :)

WOOHOOOO WE WON REWARD!! I DIDN'T REALLY HELP (i tried but with no success) BUT I'M STILL REALLY HAPPY ABOUT IT! THANK GOD FOR OWEN

Well it’s day 2, we just lost reward but Immunity is still up for grabs!! Hopefully it’s something we can excell it but 👀 a bitch don’t have many skills so we gon have to see on that one! Other than that we got to know our tribe mates, I have a really good tribe! First off there is Ruthie who I played an old season of TS with and I worked with her BUT also voted her out :c so maybe we can work together and look past that? She was a really good ally of mine but it didn’t work out. I’ve loved talking to her again tho <3 then there is Lily! A new person to me but I absolutely adore her I love her energy she’s so talkative our conversations have been really good! If I had it my way I would work with her in this game, but I don’t want to force anything so I’m not gonna bring that up to her this early. Then there is landen another familiar face to me, I played also a TS season with him, and we had a rocky relationship in that game, not really do in part to either of us just how the cards fell. I did NOT vote him out but we didn’t end our game relationship on the best terms. He seems the least eager to want to talk to me which is not a good sign bc I remember him being so outgoing in 2020 and that energy not being matched here worries me. He also addressed me as “mr. 2020 winner” in our first talk so <3 maybe he might target me <3 thays so fun <3 lastly there is MAX! Max is fun, kinda loud but in a good way, he wasn’t all that helpful in the challenge for reward (him nor landen were all that active) and we had a good first conversation and then it’s seemingly gone downhill? I still have to see if our momentum picks back up before I decide what my plans with him are, i wouldn’t mind working with him if possible but he is also fairly close to landen (apparent after an over 2 hour long call last night.. IN THE TRIBE CHAT) so if landen has a distaste for me he’ll definitely spread that to max if he has the choice, so I gotta tread carefully but only time will tell how I end up fairing on this tribe :o WISH ME LUCK 

It is second day of school and I already hate everyone. It seems that I actually went back to Junior high where everyone's playing PENIS on the great hall. I forgot how it felt to play with teenagers and I'm not here for it. I think I'll be a true ravenclaw and isolate myself reading a book or learning new spells cause I don't have many interests in common with these people. On a side note I'm really happy to be a Ravenclaw, and I actually like our team, I think we are strong and I hope I'm not in danger if we do lose, I'll try to work on my foreigner charm and start faking even more my mexican accent if that's what I need to do in order to stay, Jules is amazing, loved her and I hope we can work well together. Also I love the whole castle idol hunt idea , so... charming.

First things first... this cast is... BONKERS. I didn't expect it to be as stacked as it is..

I'm scared.

I hate it here.

There are sooo many weird relationships here which is kind of a good thing and a bad thing. The good thing about it is... I THINK that means some people got beef and I can maybe piggy back off of some of these relationships... IDK I'm not trying to think too deep into anything right now.

BUT... y'all put me on a tribe with someone who just single handily put me out of a game TWO FUCKING DAYS AGO and I'd like to complain to your MANAGERS @hosts.

In all seriousness I'm going to try and have fun in this game and not take it entirely tooo seriously.

ALSO.. my fucking wand gave me the option for a "quest" yesterday but it'd have to remove me from the tribe chat... so obviously... I gave the quest to someone else. Aka: Jacob.. who I knew would be a selfish bitch and take the quest. I also knew the likelihood of him telling me about what actually happened were high and I'd virtually get no weird looks my way because I WASN'T the one who was removed from the tribe chat. This basically ensured that I got to know what the quest was, its potential contents, and paint a target on someone else rather than myself in case there was virtually nothing to base the first couple of votes on... right?

I think I'm onto something with the idol guesses. There's weird storylines in them and I THINK if I can somehow get to the green house and find the other ingredients that were in Snape's writing I'll be onto something.

Also me and Jacob snapped in that Reward challenge and these HEATHENS should thank us for single-handily giving them a reward. Nick randomly slept all god damn day.. which really annoyed me. We have a reward and you are gonna SLEEP ALL DAY? SIR? I get real life happens but at least hide the fact you sleeping sis.

My tribe is literally probably the LAST TRIBE I wanted to end up on because well.. 1. Nick is shady and social. He might take the fact that I was loyal to people in the other game into account. I've tried the whole "I start off each game fresh and no hard feelings" spell but will he accept it? Tune in folks. I also technically can't explain my actions in the game to him because he is currently still in it so... PARTY!

2. Jacob is amazing and I love him. We've actually played several games together and weirdly always end up super loyal to people. He's a crackhead though so I'm gonna have to be a BIT cautious with him. I sipped dumb bitch juice and told him about Snape's writing because I want to show him some sort of token of loyalty.

3. Vi is a crackhead. I know this because I've hosted her. Kind of wanna fuck around and give her first boot from the tribe because I DO NOT TRUST HER. When she gets bored, she fucks things up, she lies for fun, and well... no.

4. Jessie seems really sweet so far. We haven't really spoken much which kind of sucks but we will get there!? I think?

I think some may have found something, because I just idol searched and I the exact same path I did yesterday, and yesterday there were three different choices and today there were only two. The only reason I could think of why one of the ending options were removed is that something was there and something was found...

12 minutes later

turns out it was a mistake, never mind

Okay it is challenge time and Max is around I think and Lily is finishing a class but KEVIN AND LANDEN ARE LATE, they are delinquents I expect more from Hufflepuffs than this tardiness.

I'm definitely kidding but... may not be able to be around for the entire challenge if they don't hurry the heck up.  Part of me wants to start but I don't want this to be on me if we don't do well.  OH Kevin just messaged me so at least another tribe member is on... WHY is he not messaging the tribe chat?? OH Lily is on now so I should stop writing and get to business...  WISH us cute little badgers luck!

I'm definitely kidding but... may not be able to be around for the entire challenge if they don't hurry the heck up.  Part of me wants to start but I don't want this to be on me if we don't do well.  OH Kevin just messaged me so at least another tribe member is on... WHY is he not messaging the tribe chat?? OH Lily is on now so I should stop writing and get to business...  WISH us cute little badgers luck!

20 minutes later

been doing this challenge for over an hour, i feel defeated

If this wasn't a team work thing I would be done by now these people are slowing me down. x_x.  DLSJFSLDFJ I shouldn't complain. They all have good ideas but it takes FOREVER to agree on something.  Also I do feel like an asset to the hufflepuff tribe because when I was eating lunch with my family Lily messaged me and told me I was the glue holding the tribe together and she wished I was back and that made me feel VERY good about my place on the tribe!

But seriously I'm just ready for the challenge to be over so low key I hope that Max stops responding for awhile again so I can just say random shit until we finish the dang thing LSDJFLSJDF.

The Hufflepuffs are too nice even for me.

That challenge went terribly. In all honesty, I would not blame my tribe for wanting to take me out because I took up the leadership role. But it was not like anyone else was taking the reigns so I needed to do something. I just hope they can see the merits of keeping me in this game. I really don't want to be first boot. I think we're going to have to go to tribal because we we took so long. God this is going to be so frustrating.

This challenge is NEVER going to end I'm trying to be patient but Max always interjects with something and it SLOWS EVERYTHING DOWN FOR TEN MINUTES.  OR MORE. I just have this window open to complain, lol, I won't send this for awhile. LOL Max is killing me. All the boys are exhausting I don't think they have been paying any attention to the notes I have been making, if we go to tribal council Lily and I SHOULD be safe.

OKAY it was fun that everyone just joined in in the end but I'm so glad that it is over and I hope that we won this thing and are safe!

me: im gonna be sneaky and not tell my alliance ALL the info i have also me: tells them info i couldnt possibly know without telling them ALL the info i have anyways.

https://youtu.be/qhfHo_Ns1xQ

Living my dream as a huff puff, no big deal. So far I’m really enjoying being on my tribe. We all communicate well and have positive attitudes about things. We also had so much fun at the immunity challenge but I can tell we are all stressed about the results. I’m really impressed by everyone this season being involved and I could tell people were on their A game during the reward challenge. I would really hate to see us as the bottom tribe having to go to tribal. I honestly don’t want to see any of these people go but I certainly don’t want to be first boot. I’m really proud of our tribe and I would hate to have a loss right now put a crack in the friendships we have been building.

[lordvonthunderporkvi]

and here we go another 20 pages of thoughts on episode 4 dear gods why am i like this

It took me four hours to play through episode 3 because i kept stopping to take notes but is that going to slow down my notes this time? Nope didn’t think so ready to waste another four hours of my life on this game yes i am

Aight who’s narrating this time

ooh it’s Radar again

“Be careful when you get close to an admin” sound advice Radar

Oh calm down jack i wanted to save nurm I really did but it was either leave lluna, the animal without coherent thought, or nurm, the villager who asked me to leave him behind

Geez jack i’m sorry about your husband calm down

Wait did we not tell radar that the admin’s name is romeo

Apparently not i guess

Oh dear notch xara i’m so sorry

OH NO BABY I’M SORRY-

Holy frick what was that

Oh it’s the enderman

OH NO RADAR

DONT LOOK IT IN THE EYES WHAT ARE YOU DOING

Aw lluna helped me up

It’s the ninja

Nice radar knocked the camera over

Aw radar “not asking for me cause i’m tough” you’re so cute

Oh no

I’m so sorry xara

WAIT THERE’S ANOTHER TERMINAL

Hey you know what jack if you keep disrespecting lluna like this i’m gonna have to poke out your other eye

Good jack apologize

Oh no baby don’t cry

RADAR THAT IS THE WORST THING YOU COULD HAVE SAID RIGHT NOW HAVE SOME SYMPATHY YOUR BED WILL PROBABLY BE GONE TOO WHEN YOU GET BACK TO BEACONTOWN DON’T YOU DARE-

PETRA YOU TOO REALLY?

COME ON GUYS HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOUR HOME WAS IN SHREDS

No you aren’t Petra you are certainly not being “nice” if that’s what you consider to be “nice” then we’ve got a problem

Thank you Radar

Gods Xara I am so sorry

We’ll avenge your bed Xara

FINALLY WE’RE LEARNING ABOUT THE TERMINALS

THEY’RE PORTALS

Yes Xara where does it go

Where did it go Xara we know it’s broken

Oh Xara I’m so sorry

“He loved birch.” I feel so sad

Oh we get to find something personal to Romeo

What is it like a potato or something

Nice good luck Xara

Screw off Jack

Take the gunpowder that’s gonna be useful

Fudge it’s the enderman

RADAR COME ON

Ooh is it porkchop

Nope Romeo smells like cinnamon not sulfur sorry boys

Fudge they’re annoying

I’m not that heavy it’s not that much work

It’s not like we have anything interesting in our inventories Romeo cleared them when he sent us to the Institute

Oh right we have weapons

Why can’t we just tell them we don’t have swords why isn’t that an option it’s not like they’ve been watching us this whole time

They haven’t been watching us this whole time right?

I don’t think they have

Oh it is PorkChop

Holy frick they’re annoying

That was rude and unnecessary Radar take Petra’s hand next time

At least you’re alive be grateful Jack

Oh it’s so pretty

Ooh who’s that she’s cute

FRED

THEY KNEW FRED

Who the heck is Binta

Ooh it’s a bunch of people

Faithful Friends of Fred heck yeah

Fred-o-clock wow

Gosh Radar is adorable

Hi Binta

Ooh we have to win the trivia competition

This is really sad Fred sounded amazing and now we’ll never get to meet him because Romeo is a horrible person

Couldn’t we just ask Xara she knew Fred very well

This dog is so cute

Can i adopt it

That was completely useless but seriously adorable I regret nothing

Sticks nice

It’s okay Petra I know you’re you and that’s all that matters

Yep that’s me

Actually that is incorrect Xara is the most Faithful Friend of Fred ™

Ok his favorite tool is a diamond hoe I’ll keep that in mind

I have learned a Fred Fact ™

Oh no no it’s okay i’m not going to hurt you don’t worry i promise i’m a nice stranger

“Like water...in a bucket...becomes the bucket!” yeah that makes sense Radar what the heck

Good idea you be ready Radar

No of course he won’t we won’t let him

Heck yeah I’m scary

Radar stop this you are not a thug

“One! Hngg… Two!  Hngg- and a half!” a child after my own heart

Radar stop this please

Willy looks kinda like Soren

Ok Fred’s cherished pet is a chicken got it

Ooh a puzzle

Don’t kill the chicken just play with him

The chicken’s name is Waffles nice

I have learned a Fred Fact ™

Aw I’m sorry about your hands Wanda

Oh I have plenty of sticks don’t worry Wanda

The real question is how do all these people know so much about Fred and still the only person who ever wins the trivia contest is Kent

His favorite color was Lapis Blue ™

I have learned a Fred Fact ™

Jesse wears blue underwear

Wanda does too okay

What what just happened why’d the game close

It better have saved my progress

What I’m all the way back here?

Come on

Okay I am sure Romeo never said “We come in peace” to Fred

Wait no a fireworks display is a very bad idea you’ll draw the attention of the giant enderman and if any of you are like Radar you’ll be staring directly at it any you’ll provoke it that’s a horrible idea Binta

Fred’s favorite color is lapis blue I’m sure he’d love Radar’s bandanna

I miss Xara

Those hoes look pretty iron to me Hilda

Maybe it’s just the light

I have learned a Fred Fact ™

I’m not going to hurt you Cam

Welp now I’m imagining Lukas seeing RomeoJesse in their underwear and saying “you’re not the real Jesse Jesse only wears lapis blue underwear this is POWDER BLUE”

“The slammer” Radar please stop

His name is Waffles Willy I’m smarter than you think

Blocco the dog

I have learned a Fred Fact ™

Wanda you cannot paint with your feet while you are wearing shoes come on

I have learned a Fred Fact ™

Also a Jesse Fact ™

And we’re all caught up

Please don’t crash again

Fred looked a lot different than I thought

Stop telling stories Jack don’t you want to get Nurm back come on

Okay is there absolutely nothing else I can do

No there isn’t

Okay let’s go talk to Binta

I really don’t think I’m ready I learned that Fred liked the most useless item in the game, he has a chicken named after my favorite food, and Jesse’s underwear are lapis blue I really don’t think that’s enough information

Oh well I’ve already started

Kent more like Salt

Come on Kent I’ve survived and F-bomb, defeated a Witherstorm, survived a fall into the Void, survived a killer’s mansion, survived a useful computer, beaten a weirdly good at fighting 60-year-old man, survived Romeo’s sea temple, survived Romeo’s icy palace of despair, made it out of the Sunshine Institute, survived the giant freaking enderman and I’ve managed to lead a town and romance Lukas along the way- wait what

You’re not intimidating Kent

Oh no I’m not good at building things

Okay this better be good enough

Fred is dead Xara watched him die guys come on

Okay thank gosh

Okay it’s a draw good enough

I thought you were doing something different this year what do you mean “in the history of this competition”

Fred, dead, bred- I’m sensing a theme

The same color blue as my underwear

I am good

Oh it’s a diamond hoe

It was Waffles the chicken

Nice we’re talking about Benedict

I don’t know any more trivia Xara please come help me

The most Faithful Friend of Fred ™ was Xara she better get her butt in here and help me

BIRCH

AH YEAH THANKS XARA YOU’RE THE BEST

I am smart

I am the most Faithful Friend of Fred ™

So what would’ve happened if I lost that competition

Oh well doesn’t matter now because I won

Wow pajamas okay

Oh no now I feel really bad I should’ve given them to Kent

Oh well Kent’s won plenty He’s gotten the pajamas plenty of times

Thanks Binta

Ooh I can jump on the bed fun

Jesse you dork oh my notch

ANOTHER FRICKIN BOOK BY SOREN

Soren is Romeo pass it on

Oh no that’s actually possible

They both have red hair

Are you kidding that’s Rudolph the red nosed reindeer

Wow okay just a random button in Fred’s closet

Nice a secret room

Romeoburg wow

I really have no other words except...wow, he named his town “Romeoburg”

Surely it has an author someone had to have written it

Maybe it’s like Tom Riddle’s journal and when you write in it it writes the same words in another version of itself for someone else to see

Aw “I’m glad I had Xara and Romeo with me” that is so sweet

“I don’t know what Romeo wants anymore.  It hurts.  All I wanted was the three of us, together.”  that is actually the saddest line in the game you can fight me on this

“We weren’t just happy there.  We were home.”  Okay I better go fight myself because that definitely tops the last one as saddest line in the game

Yeah Binta what’s wrong

Oh well I kinda know Fred’s old best friend and she told me

Fred’s Xara

Xara is there something you’re not telling us

I mean other than everything

How freaking long has it been since the admin war

Well gee thanks Binda

This is making me so sad I want to see the three admins back before Romeo went all Romeo

Don’t just announce this to the crowd Jesse gods

What do you need Binda

Okay sure I’ll take you with me

“The needle points home.”  I’m about to fight myself again that’s the saddest-

Fireworks are a bad idea

Okay bye Jack be safe

Notch Petra please don’t be mad

Nice spit fight

Good to see Jack’s warming up to Lluna

Stop yelling Radar

Ray

Don’t provoke her Radar that is a bad idea

Slowness potion-

WHERE’S THE LAST TIME WE SAW A SLOWNESS POTION?  THAT’S RIGHT, WITH IVOR AT THE END OF S1 EPISODE 2.

It’s the ninja again

This is really bad

Oh crap

I’M WEAPONLESS

WHERE HAVE WE SEEN THAT IMAGERY BEFORE?  THAT’S RIGHT, WITH IVOR AT THE END OF S1 EPISODE 2.

NO LET ME GO

Jesse you dork

He’s a shadow

I WEAR BLUE UNDERWEAR

THAT’S ACTUALLY AN OPTION I’M SO HAPPY

THAT WAS GREAT

...Ivor?

IT’S HIM

IVOR IVOR IVOR

HE’S BAAAAACK

He’s so happy

Where is Harper

HE’S SO WONDERFUL

HUGS

Yeah where is she by the way

Nope not me

I’m a ninja is a perfect excuse

I’ll hurry Ivor don’t worry

Ooh is that Romeoburg

Oh who’s that

I love her already wow

That was kind of mean Jesse don’t elbow Radar he’s just a bean

She’s just as much of a dork as me I love her

“Let’s take these invaders out!”  to lunch or…

Is there actually an army

They sound like they’re bluffing

I am not an audio disk I am Jesse with the blue underwear

Soup okay

Okay I was right there’s no army

Ooh a challenge

Challenge accepted

Val and Soup okay

We didn’t exactly escape the Institute Xara escaped the Institute and she took us with her and Xara’s not here anymore this is a bad idea Jesse

Soup is great

It’s a llama

The heck are they doing

Wow spit on me okay

Jesse you say this like she’s a human who has any clue what you’re saying she’s not a human she is a llama she does not have coherent thought

I have to build something again are you kidding I’m not good at building stuff

What if I build a Romeo

I don’t have any gray blocks dang it I can’t build Romeo

That thing isn’t going to have any effect on visitors but whatever good enough

No it won’t Val it’s a stack of quartz blocks with a couple redstone blocks thrown in there

Armor yeah

The names of this armor are gold

“Dangerous...but also damaged, so it’s more relatable.” just like me

“Please don’t hit me”

The name is “Llama brown-ish” that’s not a very inspired name Soup

I’m going with Please Don’t Hit Me

Best armor I ever put on

Radar no you need a shirt

I look great in this armor wow

Lluna wants to stay with her mate nice

PETRA COME ON YOU DON’T STEP ON THE PRESSURE PLATE GODS

Oh it’s a means of extinguishing yourself

That means we might be set on fire though

Oh well whatever we’ll be fine

Oh no that’s sad

Let’s not pull the mystery levers that’s a bad idea

No I’m not Romeo

Aw that was a very cute little giggle

Another freaking golem are you kidding me

We can’t even hit the golem that’s just great

Water perfect

Gee thanks Romeo

SIX HUNDRED STAGES?

COME ON ROMEO YOU COULDN’T HAVE MADE THIS ANY EASIER COULD YOU

Or maybe those three levers will summon a Giant Golem ™

This soundtrack is great massive props to Antimo and Welles

STOP RADAR YOU’RE GONNA MESS IT UP CALM DOWN AND THINK PLEASE

well crap

Dear notch Romeo why are you like this

YES YOU ARE, WHY ELSE WOULD YOU HAVE KILLED FRED?

That’s a big “maybe” Jesse

WHY IS THIS SO HARD ROMEO COME ON

WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS, ROMEO?

Haha it’s Mettaton except a giant freaking magma golem

GUNPOWDER

Alright I’m ready for some more riDICULOUSLY HARD FIGHT SEQUENCES

DEAR NOTCH AND I THOUGHT WITHERSTORM-TRACTOR-BEAM-CRAFTING WAS STRESSFUL

I know how to make tnt Petra come on

You’re surrounded in fire and lava don’t tell me you’re that clueless Jesse come on

We are not friends Romeo

It’s llunaaa

This entire game is a feels trip bye

Beautiful birch trees

Radar you are so adorable

Poor Radar those are gonna be some hospital-level burns on his feet

“For Fred” -feels incoming-

Romeo really cared about his friends what changed

This honestly makes me so sad

...is Fred still here?

No he can’t be Xara watched him die

This is so sad

Why doesn’t Xara’s frame have anything in it?

...Petra are you okay?

Something seems..wrong

Jesse used to read all the time Jesse’s a fangirl pass it on

Petra?  What’s wrong why are you crying?

Okay i understand being really sad about stories about puppies but that’s not what’s wrong

“Puppies just make me really sad, okay?”  a girl after my own heart

Petra my baby

Same color as your underwear Jesse

It is freaking important Petra

You are not okay Petra

This music is so beautiful and yet heartbreaking all at once

Red for Romeo

Ooh something happened

We have Xara’s bed now we promised her we’d avenge it and we did

This is the saddest game I’ve ever played

The key to defeating Romeo…?

#potato451?

POTATO

Dear notch so that’s what the potato means

Wow okay Petra where’s all this potato hate coming from what did the potato do to deserve this

Which terminal?  The one in the sea temple?

Yeah probably the one in the sea temple...right

This entire episode is just a bundle of feels

I’m crying a little bit this is so sad

I’m sensing some similarities between Romeo and Petra a little bit

Petra I do want to be your friend what are you talking about

I’ll be right by your side Petra

This is the saddest freaking game

This game is so incredible

Oh hey there Xara

I KNOW THAT’S WHAT I SAID BUT NOOOO, THEY COULDN’T LISTEN TO ME

Well...yeah Radar, she used to be an admin so of course she’s sounding admin-ish

(ʘ‿ʘ✿) DO NOT SPEAK OF NURM THAT WAY, XARA

She is acting exactly like Romeo this is a very bad sign

Alright ready to cry again yes I am

Everyone thinks it’s weird Petra

Of course Xara

fuDGING ENDERMAN

NO

NO STOP

I TOLD YOU THE FIREWORKS WERE A BAD- UGH

Nope Radar those are monsters

Yeah Xara you go

RADAR

RADAR STOP WITH THIS “I will not run anymore” GET OUT OF THERE RUN

crap it’s got me

Radar it is an e n d e r m a n of course it doesn’t have any decency

Wow it actually let me go

JACK

Thank you Jack

Hug everyone yeah

More hugs nice

YEAH BINTA

Are Soup and Val coming too

Soup and Val should come too

“Nothing like a little pressure to make building fun”  truer words have never been spoken

LET’S GO HOME

WELL OF COURSE IT IS AFTER YOU RADAR YOU KEEP FREAKING LOOKING AT IT

radAR NO-

YES YOU HELPED DEFEAT THAT MAGMA GOLEM BUT YOU CAN’T JUST STAY DOWN HERE

ex-freaking-cuse me?

I can’t just leave him behind

But at the same time I’ve been so loving and supportive of him all along and if I abandoned him now it would be cruel

But I also told Xara “no one gets left behind” and if i leave Radar behind she would just be like “you said ‘no one gets left behind’!  If you were going to leave someone behind you should’ve just left Jack and friends behind and not attracted the enderman with that firework in the first place!”

But I also promised the Faithful Friends of Fred ™ that I would get them out and I can’t just go back on that promise

…

...I’ll come back for him right?

Oh dear notch this game

I’ll be back for you Radar

Until then, stay alive

Make them taste your bravery

Radar your arms are tiny

Come on guys

Come on Xara

What about Xara come on Jesse whatever happened to “no one gets left behind”

Hey we’re in the old Order’s temple!

..are we in the old Order’s temple

o h n o

That’s not the old Order’s temple

That is the Order hall in Beacontown

Nice lluna

Oh okay good it is the old Order’s temple

DON’T SPEAK ABOUT RADAR, PETRA

WE’LL GET HIM BACK OKAY

um

What are those fireworks

Why is the music suddenly really foreboding

Oh no this is probably really bad

wHY ARE THE CLOUDS RED

ROMEO WHAT ARE YOU DOING

no

No no no no no

Romeo

Romeo I’m going to freaking demolish you

Also where the heck is Xara why hasn’t she come through yet

WHAAT

THAT’S JUST IT?

WHAT

NO

WHY

S T O P T H A T C O M E B A C K H E R E

lukas!!

..Lukas that’s not Jesse

um

w h a t

no

how is that the end

come on

Screw this gameeee

I’m gonna actually scream  how is that the end

I’m gonna kill Romeo

And w h e r e i s x a r a

[rqs902]

.

this became just a random summary of my thoughts on mainly yu gengyin (with other kids sprinkled in lol) throughout various episodes of season 2, which may or may not be presented in any sort of logical flow or order, just a warning.... 

i feel like yu gengyin is normally a calm boy, pretty direct, but keeps his composure. but this pose right here, i can relate to his contempt for zhou wen HAHAHHAHHAHAAHAHA HES SO DONE HAHHAHAHA

i havent even started the episode yet but i saw they’re gonna perform exo’s wolf and just started LAUGHING HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA I NEVER HTGOUHT HAHAHH NOT THIS SONG HAHHAHAHHAHA

tbh im totally ok with leo not choosing ygy HAHAHAHAHHAHA no offense to him, but he’s not very good at playing the super idol game, so hopefully ygy can shine stronger elsewhere. i feel like this show doesnt show him enough appreciation yet. 

HAHAHAHAH YGY IN THE SAME GROUP AS CXK YES IM THRIVINGGG 

suddenly leo’s team got very strong lol 

but pyj hating hd still lol.... but its ok they have wmt even tho they got a bunch of new kids and the most useless new kid lol.....

i was just complaining about lack of ygy but suddenly there are more flashes to ygy on screen lol... amazing... but he does look really nice in this color

WHEN YGY GOT NOMINATED TO BE ELIMINATED MY HEART BROKE 

but tbh for the remainder of the ep i more worried about freaking wumuti looking like he was freaking dying gosh he shouldve gone to rest or something, they really didnt need him to keep standing there after he finished performing. freaking muti pulled off an amazing performance despite his condition and as soon as he exited that stage persona, he literally looked like he was so weak and so pale i was like oh gosh let the boy rest!!! ugh but yea i refuse to believe / am in denial that ygy may possibly get eliminated so i am refusing to think about it LOL. anyway now on ep 6 they literally keep giving him screentime. zfz literally saying the purpose of this mission is to “save ygy” and cxk talking about giving ygy a special role in their perf so he can shine ;_; i love friendship 

but im not complaining about extra ygy time ehehehheh he looks like a prince for this stage and i love how he’s still smiling brightly throughout the ep and when aya brought up his status of being nominated for elims he was like ‘can you not say it out loud” and it was jokingly and he was smiling but the downward motion he made with his hands, i was like ah he is trying not to cry?

its interesting bc im almost grateful at least now ygy will get some more attention

wow look how stylish wu muti was in 2016 

oof watching ep 7 was painful..... it felt like an ultimate low for gengyin, and even tho we all teared up when zfz was eliminated.... it kinda made sense when he was talking about the colors and how he liked his own color so maybe hes just not meant to be in a boy band and i can agree... ahhhh side note fangzhou and yifan’s friendship ahhhh it makes so much sense why they’re still so close today.... even tho im still SO MAD that deng qiang is still here and fangzhou had to leave.... episode 8 was really FINALLY the break that this team as a whole really needed and im SO HAPPY and relieved for them 

this entire season has felt like a low for gengyin, like torture for him, and he really hasn’t gotten a break to shine or to feel success and i feel like to be in that kind of a slump for like 2 months??? thats so sad... and im sure that takes a toll on your mental health. but despite it all, despite being passed up for getting chosen for the special stage, he still was rooting for daidai so cutely like the way he used a silly voice to chant “戴隊戴隊” and so wholeheartedly exclaimed “戴戴太感人了~ 媽呀! 唱得快撕裂了你知道嗎’ I mean, honestly he could’ve easily and understandably felt salty that daidai got that opportunity (even tho we all know gengyin has more vocal ability), but he didn’t. it felt like he truly and fully supported his friend and teammate and that already had my heart going oof 

BUT THEN. then watching their practice footage and just watching him regain his confidence and then finally FINALLLYY perform like he was truly enjoying being on stage. after 8 freaking episodes, FINALLY its yu gengyin’s time to shine and i am THRIVING!!! ahhhhhhhhhh i literally stopped after their team’s perf to just absorb all the amazing things they said about him, about his vocals and high notes, and about his dancing improving, and about his rapping being so next level for him, and about his stage presence being the best hes been yet. and the comment the teacher made about how yu gengyin’s personality is just so nice and 善良 that he has had difficulty portraying a powerful stage presence and today he finally saw it, and i think he was just so perfect, im so proud and so happy!!!!!! and wow this stage is everything to me. cxk’s stage presence is already so strong (and btw i loved how kunkun so confidently said “ygy is our main vocal. he will no doubt stand on stage very confidently and perform well” -- i LOVE how much faith cxk has in gengyin, despite all the setbacks gengyin’s faced recently) and the choreo - they made it work for them and you could see them work together and i loved the way liu ye just literally SAW gengyin’s confidence. he saw how gengyin was just somehow so handsome on this stage and i think that says a lot about how much someone’s mental state can truly impact their performance. it hurt my heart to hear ygy describing being at risk for elimination for the past 3 weeks as feeling like he was physically weighed down by the immense pressure. he just seemed so tired, but at least within the last 2 eps the show has taken the time to really highlight how gengyin’s been practicing late at night alone, trying not to let down his team mates and really trying to improve himself. (ugh the fact that he had been practicing his high notes secretly all this time but never got to show it until he broke his voice...) But yes, i literally just watched their team’s performance and paused to type this all out and now im gonna go back and watch their whole segment again, because i love seeing yu gengyin’s transformation and this confident side of him. how can you not love his smile (and the way that they captioned this as "yu gengyin’s signature smile” :’)

man ep 8 is like THE time to be a ygy stan bc hes literally thriving and shining and getting all this screen time and attention and its so well-deserved and ive just been waiting 8 eps but we’re finally here :’) and yes its now official that ygy is my bias on this show i cant turn back now hahHHAHAHHA ive invested too many emotions into this child and you best bet i just changed my phone lock screen to also be ygy HAHHAHAHA its actually the top photo from the pic i just pasted above, bc this performance, that SMILE is EVERYTHING 

but also on a darker note, the whole conflict between wu muti and huadi is making me uncomfortable.... honestly i feel bad that ive been hoping their team loses but thats mainly just bc i need deng qiang to get eliminated which would require their team to lose LOL but also this whole thing between muti and huadi is getting out of control and their tempers are p concerning... like tbh we all know huadi has a temper but like muti is firey too and he’s like at a point where he just keeps yelling and being rude so im like theyre both just being rude to each other and its to the point where its starting to affect their team work... oh noo. sigh... from the beginning i thought huadi and muti’s dance styles were so different that they may clash bc theyre both going to try to lead dance practice, but this is way worse, this is their personalities clashing and its much scarier than i expected. 

also poor pinlin... man he like got super shafted during the first season imo and now he has to leave season 2 bc of his super serious injury.... ugh seeing his tears of frustration hurt my heart... he has so much talent and deserves more opportunity to show it :( but man his waist injury sounds so bad. the main bright side to all this is zuo qibo getting peer pressured into stepping up as a main vocal and really improving and getting some time to shine too. in season 1, back from when muti was like ‘noo i dont wanna be compared to qibo, hes a good singer’ until now, i dont think we’ve reaaalllyyy gotten too much of an opportunity to appreciate qibo’s vocal abilities because hes not had too much exposure and hes been overshadowed by the kids who have already established their strong vocal abilities. im scared hes under a lot of pressure now, as their leader and main vocal, but im glad hes been doing so well so far, good for him :’) im looking forward to seeing him improve and get more appreciation. i remember he was one of the most popular kids at the end of season 1 (along with cxk and wmt i think?) so i want to believe that he can live up to it. also this is random, but his visuals are really growing on me, like i can see him as a visual now and i think he looked really good this ep!!! to me visuals are cxk wmt zqb djy and maybe also hyf zpl yeeaaaaaaa but i mean ill say again, i just love ygy’s smile :’) 

[survivormongolia]

Episode 2: “I was prepared to come in this game and slay.” - Madison

ok well... none of us were voted out which is alright i guess but we are literally not winning this immunity with gloria and patricia on our tribe.... like no offense to them but they finna submit like 20 thinking its a good score like arghhh its whatever tho bc im going to get the highest on the tribe so if they vote me out theyre literally the dumbest people ive ever met. if we lose, i truly dont think im going anywhere bc i have 3 people im genuinely friends with and ive been having good convos with dennis and brian... wow i cant believe im aligning with mostly men

me as soon as i saw the blog for the game: "i should check the rules page, i know some hosts are sneaky & hide advantages in there"

me: everything looks a-ok to me!!!!

hosts: make sure you check the rules page!!!

me: hmmm seems fishy, let me check again!!!

me: nope, nothing ot the the blue

me: tells dan about the advantage in the results post

dan: something looked fishy to me in the rules page, but i tried to right-click and nothing worked, let me check again

dan: omg. it took me to the same page as the results

me: wow. i truly am a useless piece of garbage

ok im back and i found out more info. so apparently gloria has been on call with dennis AND francie which means they dont play around. i think theyre being really social with everyone and i KNOW francie has amanda and emily on the other tribe so im actually really worried about them. i have talked to them a lot and i feel like i wouldnt be their first target but maybe randy or madison would be?? idk. if we dont win this immunity it wont be the worst thing in the world bc everyone agreed to patricia last week so might as well try again this round ig. i talked to randy and he's on the same page and also is afraid of francie and dennis being really social so hopefully once our tribe gets down to 7 or 8, the 4 of us (madison, randy, tj) would be majority. i really trust tj and he always keeps me updated but... he has a mind of his own and i wont be surprised if he wouldnt be down to do one of them. btw ill probably make a podcast or a video dr tomorrow if i find more tea... 

I’m not going to do as well on this challenge as my tribe mates I don’t think. So now, of course, I’m thinking about tribal last night and how I was asked about the first challenge and I was like “yeah keep me around bc I can help in challenges.” That’s not going to be good for now. I’m going to do my best given the calculus and government homework I have for tomorrow (EW). I’m also thinking about the game as a whole. I want to put myself in a position of power wherein I can be a big part of strategy and make notable moves while also not flagging myself as someone “running the game” (lol like that’ll happen) or someone who’s too big of a threat to stay. This involves identifying larger threats than myself and locking them out before anyone knocks me out etc. There’s a bullseye; let me find my quiver. This is also probably the last confessional I’ll make ‘til after the challenge because why spend time confessing when you can find invisible cows. (I’m on the way to school and confessing on my phone. No, I’m not the one driving. I may confess at lunch or study hall if anything worth confessing happens between now and then.)

Okay so I went back and checked the other posts and there wasn’t anything around. But when the new immunity challenge was posted, there was the same link hidden on the post. I sent it to my host chat and nothing. I noticed after I sent it that the link wasn’t hidden on the new challenge post anymore, but the previous ones are still there. Interesting….

So the Fans went to tribal and we were hoping that by sending Jon to Exile, they would vote out Randy and it would keep an inactive around to help them flop more. However, Jon struck out and was med-evac’d. Great. So now the Fans are gonna go super hard on this challenge since they basically got a free pass. This challenge, by the way…. Shout out to Drew. I hate this challenge. Invisible Cows can die, all of them. I told my tribe to make the window as small as possible so the cows have less places to hide, and I think its working out for everyone, so hopefully we can do this. I’m just worried because I know Madison on the other tribe just played this game in a challenge not too long ago and if she tells them about the trick then we are basically on even playing ground. Im at 800 right now and my goal is to get to 1500 but we will see.

I’m still trying to figure out my social game. Usually in games, I form some kind of alliance within the first 48 hours and generally keep up appearances with everyone. I want to do things differently this game. While I am still trying to be friendly and talk to people, I dont want to be the one to hold all the conversations. I’m having trouble keeping a conversation with Asa and Ian and Nicholas, but everyone else I’ve had at least a 10 minute conversation or longer every day. Colin has already suggested voting out Asa if we go to tribal because he’s talked to her the least. He says that me and him are good and I’m glad for that. I really like Colin. And I know that Emily will have my back, at least in the tribal portion of the game. Last night, Dan, Lindsay, and I formed an alliance. Finally! I really like Lindsay and we danced around forming an official alliance with each other for 3 days, and Dan and I have talked a lot, so I’m really glad this happened. With this alliance, and my bond with Colin and my relationship with Emily, I feel like I’ll be okay should we go to tribal. I’m hoping we don’t have to… here’s hoping we can find more cows than the Fans..

https://youtu.be/D45IAXpUHyA

This challenge is cute! And also my tribe is just Slaying this challenge. I love this tribe, we're stacked as hell djkfgfh

Oh well fuck. Well I was middle of the road with the scores so I didn’t go from top score to lowest ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it still fucking sucks though. I hope enough people are down with the plan from the last round depending on who gets exiled.

Temujin exiling Patricia was the obvious move—keep the lowest challenger in the game and force the losing tribe to send a better challenge player home, increasing the likelihood of them returning to tribal—and from a strategic standpoint I have to give them a bit of credit but being on the tribe that’s getting screwed over? Fuck this.

So I'm in the predicament of which alliance to throw under the fucking bus, I should've been quiet about the group to Julia Rae and Madison. Best person to go home would be Brian or Randy, for my own personal benefit

Wow, so I don't know if you managed to see that but I told Julia Rae and Madison about GloForce...and then switch them to Brian

Wow this tribe really is doing that. I get a bad feeling we’re gonna get swap-fucked somehow. I guess now that its been a few days I can give my opinions on people a little more.

I get strange vibes from Amanda and Dan. I feel like they’re close just by interactions they have in the tribe chat. They both also seem like the type to be cutthroat. I think I’m in good with them tho so as long as I’m not doing anything shady they might not target me, since I have a feeling they’ll be the ones trying to lead the first few votes when/if we go to tribal.

I get good vibes from Emily, Asa, Quillyn, and Lindsey. They seem pretty trustworthy and easy to work with.

As far as Nicholas, Ian, and Colin go, I don’t really have any connection with them but I’mma try talking to them more while things are easy and peaceful so they would be hesitant to vote out me over someone else.

I’m really curious as to who got the secret advantage. I’m mad as hell that I didn’t get it but oh well. I feel like if anyone got it it was probably on the faves tribe, cause I feel like the fans aren’t putting in all that much effort or reading into things as much as an experienced player might. I’m glad to have been the one to publicly expose the advantage because I want whoever got it to be on their toes and that they’ll have to be more cautious and stressed about trying to do things involving it. They probably think no one is paying attention but I have eyes in the webcams on their computers. I see them.

Temujin won the second immunity and I'm very pleased with that as we are all getting along fine, but for how long? Eventually we will have to turn on each other and vote one of us out. My job is to just make sure it's not me, pre merge portion of the game I aim for a good score but not the best of unbeatable score. The sweet spot is upper middle, you are seen that you can be beat in individual challenges yet good enough to want to keep around for a strong pre merge tribe

Also i feel like horse culture is important?? Like idk why the hosts wouldn't just put a keyboard smash url or make the url (survivormongolia.com/secret-advantage). Like horse culture must mean something. I wish I was one of those girls in middle school who put horse stickers on all their supplies. I feel like maybe I could better understand horse culture and what this could mean. But just know i have made a mental sticky note saying "HORSE CULTURE" in bold sharpie.

Allow me to explain why Brian being voted off would be a fucking stupid idea or Julia and Madison, so if me, Julia, Madison, or Randy gets sent to exile and Patricia is gonna come back in our place just how well do you think that's gonna play out. Patricia isn't stupid and probably knows she was gonna get the boot...this time atleast. With the scores brian and randy have been producing it'd probably be them getting booted next, at this point I'm trying to stall...

I'm glad we won another immunity! although I'm getting sick of the fake sweetness of our tribe like nobody actually likes each other that much and that will show once we end up losing one of these challenges. I'm really tired of the passive aggressive competitiveness of some of these people too like, we can just all support each other and not like try to put people down who can't get as high of a score on a shitty flash game? I'm hoping for an early swap honestly I would definitely want to try working with some of these fans over the people on my tribe who I just can't seem to connect with.

So. Jon went to exile Island and got his 3rd strike. That was great, because he would've been voted off anyways.

Then the next challenge happened and disaster struck. First off, I love that minigame but holy shit, it drives some1 crazy UNLESS YOUR NAME IS MADISON AND YOU ACTUALLY FIND A TRICK TO SPEED UP THE PROCESS BUT THEN PROCEED TO NOT TELL ANY1. Eitherway I spend around 3 hours during all my exams and papers, that are due, to find stupid 800 cows until I was about to go to bed, wher TJ told me a trick to boost up my score. So I did that and brought it up to 1100 by another 20 min but that wasn't enough by FAR. The rest of the tribe decided that 300 or 600 is enough. Obviously we couldn't know how much the other tribe was getting, but after seeing that easy trick everyone could've atleast aimed for 1000.

We lose the challenge, they pick Patricia, which is a good pick (Since she would've most likely been voted off other wise - even though I did bring up a point in the alliance chat, that we might have needed her to keep the majority in the tribe, just in case the other 4 form a counter alliance). Me and TJ talked a bit and I told him before, that the only 2 possible votes are Brian or Randy. Both have barely been active in this tribe, with Randy just doing a tiny bit more (Flag challenge) but we can't hold that as a positive for him, forever. In the end it seems to be brian tonight, oh well unlucky.

But in my opinion, seeing how our Tribe works compared to the Favorites this wont change anything. They will keep beating us out in every challenge until we are at a low number of members just to be picked up 1 by 1 in the merge or at a tribeswap. Its super scary and I am already getting a little bit anxious and frustrated looking forward. The worst thing that could happen to us is, that we win the Reward challenge and then get on too much of a high, go back to doing the least amount of work, just to be crushed at the next Immunity challenge again. Lets hope that isn't the case. Lets hope a swap happens sooner than later, when we still have some numbers..

But, on a more serious note! That whole conversation about the secret advantage came up with Dan after he returned from Exile. He told me about the idol on Exile, & how it's the name of a Survivor, you only have two yes or no questions to narrow it down, & you only get three guesses. He also told me what questions he asked, & his guesses!

So, I guess my social game is better than I thought it was, because he said he was only going to tell Amanda & I, & we ended up making an alliance chat. To be honest, this group really makes sense to me, because I feel we are more of the "social" people on our tribe, where we'll message people first, & try to keep the conversation going, so I'm really happy with this core group. Now, I'm not a mathematician, but even I know that three out of ten people in a tribe is not a majority, but it's nice to have a solid core group that we can hopefully add to when needed! Plus, if you have a smaller group inside a bigger one, you're already in a better position number wise. I'm blabbering on about this newfound alliance, & how it's good for my game, just to watch it blow up when the inevitable swap happens, & we're split up. :) :) :) :)

I'm still trying to form relationships with other people on my tribe, but I feel like I haven't really gotten far. I think I have a good relationship with QuilLynn! We actually talk quite a bit, & have good conversations about things outside the game, & I really like her! She's someone I can definitely see myself working with down the line, so hopefully she feels the same way.

Like, I'm really glad & relieved that we've won the immunity challenges, but sometimes when you're on a tribe that keeps winning, it's easy to just relax & not talk as much. It's when you lose, where everyone starts to scramble, & relationships develop further. Basically right now, we're the Love tribe, where everything is sunshine & rainbows, & no one has a bad thing to say about anyone. But, if we were to lose, we'd go from *heart eyes emoji* to *knife emoji* real quick.

I don't want to say I thrive in chaos, because I don't, I'll overthink every possible scenario & hop aboard the paranoid train, full speed ahead. However, I thrive when people are very conversational, & I feel like the people on my tribe will only become like this when they feel their ass may be on the line.

Another update about our tribe idol: Still haven't guessed once. Still a flop. Let's try to turn this around, Lindsay! You can do it.

This confessional has been all over the place, so sorry I'm a mess. I don't know. I can't control my thoughts or put them into words very well.

I’m angry I found 2.6k cows and we still lost. I don’t know what this tribe is doing tbh it’s such a mess. I was prepared to come in this game and SLAY but that’s kinda impossible right now so.

Gloria is an icon.

That’s all.

So I guess I haven't done one of these this round! WHOOPS. Well, not much has changed in my game. I'm still really enjoying the tribe for the most part and just trying to do my best in the tribe! Like I'm really proud of myself for performing so well in the challenges so far. Jokes on the tribe bc when I start school again, I'm not going to have as much time to do things *shrugs* I know I'm pretty and successful and they'll just need to understand that.

On a serious note, I'm worried about Colin coming back from exile and the idol situation over there. I'm lucky I have some time to plot and think about how I'm going to address that. I think I'm gonna say something along the lines of, well I kinda wanted to see who went to exile next before I said anything to anyone about it. I would be open to sharing information with Colin, I just feel like with him working we really haven't had the chance we need to really like create a lasting bond. Yes, we talked about people we liked and about keeping each other's best interests in mind, but that was one curt little conversations. I know curt implies rudeness, but that's not how I mean it, I'm just not smart enough to think of a better word. But, any who, I have some scrambling to do with our relationship, but I'm willing to give it a go. We shall see what the future holdsssss.

Cow cow cow cow cow cow cow cow cow WOW IT WAS WORTH IT HEHE! I got 666 cows and our tribe won by an absolute landslide. I’m super happy! I am excited to see what happens when the fans actually have to um vote someone out and not be saved from a medical evacuation lmao. Also I haven’t been talking to people like I should because I’m so fucking lazy. And tired. Like give me a break people

Ugh we lost but I did so bad but I didn't had time to do it. I feel like I'm going home tonight unless I get to go to exile since I was lowest and last one they send had nothing

Hello it's me fallen tuna. I like my tribe a bit better it's pretty clear that we are all pretty busy. I suck the most at the comps so thats somewhat confusing but asa talks less so if we lost that might be the one person I'd try to get out

So this round has been me trying my hardest and obviously not succeeding. The faves tribe are just too dedicated for this game. Which is great for them, but we arent naturally as competitive as they are. Meaning that we're once again going to tribal. And they sent home Patricia. The girl who we thought would be the next voted off.

So now its scrambling. Julia told me her group of TJ, Madison, etc. is going to do Brian. I brought up the fact that me and Brian are close, and that Francie would probably be better since she's obviously close with Amanda on the other tribe. But Madison is also close with them, so i dont see them leaving this week. If I have to vote out Brian. Then damn, but I'm not leaving premerge. So its just time to cut my losses, and hopefully make it to a tribe swap.

Confessional: I am very upset with many players on my tribe who I feel don't need to be here because they are somewhat inactive and not trying all that hard in challenges. They need to carry their asses to be perfectly blunt. They are hurting our tribe and it takes all the fun out of the game to be honest. People are telling me they are voting Brian and I love him to death and know for fact he can be a great player but this game he has shown me nothing so I am going with majority and he was on my rdar this round for vote also, I am working with TJ Francie and Dennis and hope us 4 stick together and none of them turn on me. Thus far they are my safety net but who knows what will happen if a tribe switch happens and I hate this sending people to exile island it sucks big time cause I am afraid that will kill my game if sent. I hope that everybody 100% votes Brian out tonight and Randy isn't showing much attempt either after doing that gorgeous flag. That sucks but it is what it is in games take the good with the bad. Hope I last see you at tribal honorable host. <3 GLO GLO <3

So my gay ass is sitting here, minding my own business, and what do I see in a VL I'm in? Emily and Amanda are hosting an Athena season together? INCHRESTING. I will keep that little tid bit in the back of my head when it comes time to vote somebody out.

Okay so basically at this point my tribe is slaying the game! As one would expect, we have a lot of seasoned players who are hungry for redemption and really don’t want to be the first fave gone so everyone is going really over the top with these challenges. I won’t complain because they keep me safe by extension but i have a feeling that there is going to be a loss or a luck comp in our near future and i just don’t know how i am going to fare if we go to tribal. Right now i know that Quil, Emily and Lindsay wouldn’t vote me out. So that means hopefully 4/9 votes. Ive been trying to reconnect with Ian and I don’t think he would vote me out either so I think I could survive a tribal if I ended up going to one.

Right now i am putting in some work to make sure that Im not the first boot from this tribe. I’m trying to not talk to Asa or Thomas [they also don’t message me,,,,ew??? like wtf are you doing here if you aren’t going to message anyone] so that I can eagerly throw their names around if we go to tribal. Also ironically enough they are the highest placing members of our tribe so I’m hoping it can be an easy sell. That’s about it for now!

Honestly, I hate the fact we lost the challenge. I hate the fact that Patricia was given immunity because that means that my time may be up. People barely try and talk to me, or even bother to reply to me. So I think it's me tonight, which is fine. I am content with my journey. I was told it may be Randy but I doubt it. We'll see.

I'm good Patricia is coming on so hot. She's just like "I wanna work with you" and calls me right away like omg ajdhaidhss it's not that I wouldn't wanna work w her it's just that you'd think she'd spend st least ten minutes to have some small talk before throwing me six feet deep into strategy talk...

i dont think im getting voted out but if i do oh well... everyones voting brian i believe and my friends have no reason to lie to me so i am feelin GOOD!! i hope theres a tribe swap so i can be safe for once oh my god

I hope this tribal and the Brian vote are successful. Fingers crossed!

I'm confessing to say Emily was robbed in Athena All Stars and I love Drew even though he drags me always the end

[survivorathena-allstars]

Episode 4: “I’m Looking at You Periwinkle” ~Madison

Ali, Zach, and I made an alliance called EAZy Votes and it's really cute tbh because they're my fav boys in the game!

Also we lived but Sam died and I'm like really crying like I actually cried. Like Sam is such a nice person and we did so much in the immunity challenge and did not deserve to go to tribal but we did and then his social game and lack of contribution to the challenge like I guess led to his demise but UGH THIS IS UGLY AND IM SO SAD WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!

Survivor Doesn't Stop For Santa

Listen I love mastermind so much even if I don't win I'm gonna have a great time with this challenge, plus we have the majority on our tribe which means we should be fine - and I'm in with Jack still which (hopefully) means I can get info on the minority alliance (if they're really even an alliance) so...we love it! kevinamanda asked how my christmas was so. i saw star wars yesterday it was nice. my biggest takeaway from it is that i forgot how hot poe dameron is. back to game stuff -- so i actually really love this challenge a lot. if i want to get the secret item, i need to throw it and get the worst score out of 17 people. that should be easy, considering that the hosts are cruel mistresses and gave us fifty goddamn colors. there are two pitfalls tho: it could be like suuuuper obvious if i throw it depending on how bad my score is. and since i'll be vulnerable without immunity, i could be dead! whew! i also don't know WHAT the super secret item will be. could be an extra vote, could be an immunity idol, who knows what. it could help me escape a tight situation, or it won't do anything and i'll have thrown it for no reason. the second pitfall is that i LOVE this challenge and i just wanna do well jadjjd. but anyway yeah. since i don't know what the item is i don't know how good the payoff's gonna be. so like...the question is, should i throw it, and will it be worth it? tune in and find out next time on survivor: hell on earth 

Okay so this is BEYOND ugly! I’m so nervous! Elaenia has an obvious numbers advantage, 9-7. So, basically, another Vireao is going. And I think we’re going to have a tribe swap right after. Two tribes of eight. And like? That’s definitely preferable at this point. At least for this vote, our whole tribe can just vote together and we not create waves. But I’m so nervous! This is really not a good look for Vireao. And also, I love pretty much everyone on Vireao individually? Like Lily, Jack, Owen, Cameron, Madison, Will... I love them! I don’t know Dana, Kevin, and Autumn so I’d obviously prefer to vote for one of them but I’ve heard good things about all of them and like !!! Ugh I’m just stressed out. But also, even if I don’t win this cracked ass Mastermind, I think the relationships I’ve established with the Elaenia tribe members before the game are like solid enough that they wouldn’t vote for me? Does that make sense? I hope it does. I don’t want to die. Lily like? Wouldn’t vote for me? Right? She’s my wife? Madison wouldn’t vote for me? Will wouldn’t? UGH I’M SO SCARED! So many people from Themyscira and Azores are on that tribe and I don’t know if they’ll see that has an opportunity to vote me out or an opportunity to work with me. All throughout FTC for Themyscira people were like “Idk how we let you get so far!” And I’m hoping that they??? Don’t have this kind of mindset??? Because that’ll just send me home. But this is also All Stars and everyone on our tribe is a good ass player. Preferably, I want JD to go home. Girl is already being cracked—especially with that last vote. It also saves me the trouble of trying to find out if Charlotte and JD are actually close or if they’re not? Ugh. I hope Zach and Ali are safe in this Double Tribal because they’re my closest allies at this point. I also want Charlotte to be safe because I want to work with her moving forward. Ugh! My only real hope is that since their first tribal was divided, they’ll stay divided. Maybe the two sides won’t be able to agree on a single person to target and they’ll vote however. I’m honestly feeling like voting Autumn might be our best bet? Since the four voted Autumn in their first tribal council? But I don’t know! I want to talk to the tribe as a whole about this. Ugh! I’m just really scared and I WANT that immunity. ________________________________________________________________ All I can hope about this tribal is that everyone recognizes that EVERYONE in this game is a threat?? Everyone is a good player?? Everyone is an all star?? So they won’t target me just because like that reason?? But idk I just don’t trust Jack and Cameron to not campaign against me

Okay, so I have a video confessional uploading that sorta sums up my thoughts coming back from Christmas break, but now its time to discuss the ugliest twist in the history of ever, even though I don't even get whats happening. If its a game changers-esque tribal, I wanna cry. Our tribe seemingly has no hope, as if the other tribe is smart they'll patch up their differences and vote one of us off. Additionally, I literally don't know Lily or Autumn, and Jack I only know from that odd Themyscira BBQ reward challenge and from the Athena 2nd placers chat. BUT UGH. UGHITTY UGH. I just really don't think we are gonna get through the next tribal without a really ugly vote off. AND THE FOUR BUFFS STILL DONT ADD UP. Anyway, I'm just sad. I am ready to be voted off, not because I want to be, but i literally called that I'd come 17th in my pregame interview and now its truly happening. YIKES

I have enjoyed my disconnect from Skype WAY too much but I'm ready to put my game face back on!! I'm going out of town just for a night tomorrow and I don't plan on telling any of them that so they don't come up with the wise idea to try to get rid of me.  :* I love Mastermind, I either do REALLY well or I bomb it, so I hope I do really well on it. 

Mood after the last challenge and also going forwards:

I'm worried and not sure what to expect with this upcoming double tribal. Does that even mean two separate tribals or because it said one immunity, a gamechangers like tribal where both tribes go? Either or it sucks and someone from my tribe is about to jump the plank! I also just got off call with someone from another game/ORG and i'm so uncomfortable and extremely bothered HAHAHA But overall this game is exciting but i'm likely dying soon. Mastermind was a struggle. I know someone has an advantage under boulder six. There's been speculation (Emily told me) that she thinks the idol hunt is combined since usually there would only be ONE large archipelago. Smart queen! I don't want Ali or Emily to die either. I wouldn't mind if they struck someone off our side, perhaps JD or someone. If someone on the other tribe who I semi like such as Dana was like 'hey we're voting JD' like i'd literally hop over and do the same. WOO!

Well yes, I’m angry. I’m getting totally screwed over here. The deal was that if I won the hunger games, I get to live the rest of my life in peace. But NOW? You want to kill me again. *laughs* well you know what? F*CK THAT! AND F*CK EVERYBODY THAT HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT!!!

I’m so nervous for this immunity. I don’t think I would be on the block if I don’t win, but with it being double tribal WHO FUCKING KNOWS. Lets bomb this challenge WHOO! I’m looking at you, periwinkle.

Whewie I nervous as heck for this tribal! I haven’t done my Mastermind yet but I will when I get home. After allergy testing today and realizing I’m allergic to everything I love my dad is forcing me to go after Christmas shopping so today has been PACKED!!! Anyways, I’m kind of hoping we get a one world twist this round so our tribe doesn’t have to just go in blind and like shoot our guns into the darkness. Even though Elaenia was divided at their first tribal, I’m assuming they’ll be smart and stick together because they’re all stars. But of course, there’s always one of two people willing to flip. I’m just hoping that even if we don’t have one world, my pregame relationships will carry me. I have good friends over on Elaenia and I need them to know I’ll work with them if they keep me! I’m a good ally to have SOMETIMES! I think our tribe’s best bet is to go for Autumn since she received four votes at the previous tribal. That might mean she might get more votes from her other Elaenia tribe members if they’re cracked and save a Vireao tribe member from dying. 

On another note, I’m almost 100% all the other Vireao tribe members are having these jump ship thoughts as well. Like, we’re all smart players. Not all of us are the holiest of heroes. It just doesn’t work like that. Ali and I have already been talking about it, and if anyone on Vireao is a deadset hero, it’s Ali. I’m expecting CHAOS this vote. Absolute chaos. I’m just hoping and praying the votes don’t fall on me.

It sucks that we've lost again because the alliance isn't going to work this round where everyone is going to tribal. I don't think it'll be as simple as voting Duncan out and calling it a day. 

So I decided to attempt to do well in this challenge. While getting the worst score should be easy, I don't know if the reward's gonna be worth it, and also who has the time or the patience? ItAin'tMe.mp3. I'mmmm kinda nervous about double tribal though. I did the challenge in 10 steps but I don't know if it's good enough to secure immunity when I'm competing against 17 people. It's been awhile since this tribe went to tribal so I'm not sure where I stand. I'm not sure if that tribal made a solid formidable line in the stand or...what. Soooo I'm gonna try to talk to people today and kiss ass. Gotta remind these folks of my wonderful personality! 

I just finished Touchy Subjects and I don't think I did too bad! I'm excited for results. Ahhh!!! I want to win just to guarantee safety at this tribal. That'll calm my nerves a little bit. But in Azores I was immune almost every tribal I went to and I was still nervous so like??? Idk I love (hate) my anxiety disorder. Anyways! I'm going to rehearsal now to think about how scared I am for this tribal and watch pre teens dance to songs that they don't know the meanings behind goodbye

So... not much is happening in the game rn. I did mastermind in 9 guesses, which I could have done in 7 had I just gone backward. It was a bit of luck, but I did it in a doc and had a lot of information so that I wouldn't actually repeat anything. I'm hoping I did well enough. So apparently only one person wins immunity which means a couple things. Either this double tribal means one tribe has anyone up for vote and the other has one person immune and we go to 15 and swap to 3 tribes, OR what I think will happen is we're about to go to a huge one-world type tribal and we swap into 4 tribes of 4. Everyone is still shook about the 4 pre-merge buffs, and I don't know what's gonna happen. We could swap into 3 tribes and have a one world tribe as well. I just do not know. 

Whew! Super nervous and excited about results here. I think I did it pretty fast, and 7 guesses is a pretty good amount (thanks again for making a mistake, Jay :P I couldn't have done it without you). I don't think I'll necessarily NEED to be immune, but I still would like it, just in case.

Also, on a similar note, I had a dream about this challenge, weirdly enough. I started it on my computer, but then I had to go almost immediately. Instead of telling hosts about it, I instead did the challenge on my phone as I was taken on errands through a bunch of dimly lit superstores (think Target with mood lighting) and one bank. I think we actually robbed the bank, I don't remember. And this whole time, I was making up lists and struggling to remember all the colors (also shoutouts to Macaroni, the best color there is). It was odd, and it actually made me think once I woke up that I had to finish the challenge. Thank god I actually didn't, and instead got to do my notepad-based masterminding of Mastermind. Love that challenge.

I hate one world I hope they vote me out

Fuck.

MY VIDEO CONFESSIONAL FROM LIKE THREE DAYS AGO IS STILL UPLOADING AND IM SCREAMING. WHY ONE WORLD. LIKE I KNOW I INFLICTED THIS ON Y'ALL BUT WHY

I'm having like AT LEAST seven identity crises right now because of this game God. One World??? In my house??? I can't believe this. For the first three rounds of this game I was like 'you know this is pretty fine' (barring the moment where Karen got murdered) and now I feel like I'm on my death bed. So...some good some bad. Good is that I can possibly team up with people. I want to work with Duncan really especially since we're the last Motu Maha people and I need to pay my respects  to Karen and Julia (rest in power queens). Everyone on the other tribe seems nice especially in comparison to the people on my tribe who blindsided Karen. That's the good part. The bad part is like...everything else. I mean, 17 people? That's...a big number. I don't know if I can count that high. I honestly have no gameplan so like...lit? Ideally I could take out one of the people from my tribe this round by teaming up with the other team. If we don't have a swap next round though...then the Consequences will catch up to me. And I, for one, prefer not to face the consequences of my actions. But if I can't do that, I'll...figure things out. I'll see what names people throw out. I don't think I'll be targeted cause like...idk i'm not a threat??? I'm just fragile.

im in a bad place rn so whats a better thing to do than confess? I thought I'd outline what I've learnt so far: I think(?) Will and Dana are working together? And I think Cameron might be close to them too. I am down to work with that grouping, so that isn't too bad! Also Cameron was in the majority! what.a.king!

One world really just always blows everything up and those are just the facts like everyone's talking to everyone, everyone's in a new alliance, we're all gonna start fighting soon, and it's not long before someone pulls an "ASHLEY HAS AN IDOL" move because let's be honest every season needs a moment like that. I feel confident with my 5, and confident with Queen Ruthie and King Ali, but as much as I love Emily I don't know if I can trust her and I'm almost wondering if she should be taken out now (Malcolm style) since she's a HUGE social threat. Lily/Emily/Madison is gonna be a force to be reckoned with down the line so taking at least one of them out pre-merge would be the best. It's time to start separating friendships and gameplay - that's what fucked me up in Azores and I'm not gonna let it fuck me up here. If we can somehow flip altogether and target an outsider like Kevin that would be our best move - like a supergroup of Lily/Emily/Madison/Jack and my five plus Ali and whoever else from Vireao?? Or something. Regardless I just need to make sure it isn't me. It cannot be me and that's that, at the end of the day I will fight my hardest to protect my allies but if it's a losing battle then I will jump ship. And that's just how it's gotta be.

WHO THE FUCK IS CHRISSA

Okay time for an update! I'll do a full video update since there is LOTS to catch up on, but like.... I'm in a good spot. With Zach, I can hopefully slot into the Dana/Owen/Will/Cameron/Autumn majority on the other tribe, to stay safe for at least this vote. From there? whomst can ever be sure

So I was gonna end up keeping things to myself and being a good little boy but then I ended up spilling all my beans to Duncan. Oops. So yeah I told him about how Madison snaked me which was very mean and how I didn't like it. Hopefully she can go home! I'll have to see. If people from the other tribe want to flip, though, that throws a wrench in the plans especially if they tell Madison and co that I want to vote for her. But if I get Jack and Lily on board, then we're 11-6 and they need 3 people to flip back to them. Whew I hope this works

Coming to a consensus about vote is real hard because everyone has connections with people from the other tribe, and people that they want to work with, so no one is going to be willing to name any names...i’m Scared about how this vote is going to turn out 

I'M SO CONFUSED. WHY IS SATAN MAKING ME GO TO TRIBAL WITH 17 PEOPLE. 1) JD why do you want to vote me. I DONT EVEN KNOW YOU. I AM manipulative, but dont tell people that thank you queen. 2) MADISON ALSO DONT VOTE ME. ALSO DONT TELL OWEN TO VOTE ME HE BETTER NOT. I'm leaving for work right now and like... if it is 9:50pm and idk who im voting im Russian rouletting my vote and blowing kisses on my way out. 

Boy things are...messy. So: first off, I tried asking Lily and Jack what they thought about flipping, and they both want to stay with the original tribe. Yay. Jack seemed slightly lenient but he might just be wishy-washy. I don't wanna be too pushy but like. Yikes. In addition to Duncan, I told Ali about how I was in the minority and stuff and wanted to work with them. Party. I'm not sure if the rest of the Viraeo tribe knows about this or like...what even is going on with them. Duncan said SOMEONE from that tribe threw my name and to talk to everyone and I'm like whatever. I don't know who that is because Duncan's being very vague and not name-dropping which is probably smart but like it's not very exciting. And then...I've made amends with Cameron? So we started talking because I wanted to know who my tribe is targeting. But neither side has any idea on who to vote for which makes things even better. Duncan wanted Will out but apparently he got a hard no so ??? And our tribe can't get shit together like no one's even suggesting names. Cameron's complaining about Emily and how, and I quote, "half our tribe is parked up Emily's rear." He's...not wrong. I can sense someone wants Emily out, but that's not an option because that's just reason for everyone to flip. Actually that'd be a good idea if I wanted Lily to flip but like it wouldn't work in execution. ANYWAY back to the amends making: I told Cameron I wanted to work with him (and I do) but it was hard to trust him because of KarenGate. I said no one had explained it to me so my trust was wavering. So then Cameron explained the whole scandal which basically was Karen was a flop (true). So yeah. I do wanna work with Cameron but like...what about the rest of the tribe??? But I don't know if I can explain that to him without setting off a thousand alarms. At the same time if I just blindside someone on our tribe that'll ruin our trust. And it seems like he wants to go Elaenia strong but our tribe can't get its shit together!!! Maybe I can just use the classic "well this was the first name I heard so xoxo"  excuse and say that since Elaenia couldn't decide on someone I just went with what I heard.

So this is going to be a mess... I can feel that someone in our tribe is going to go home. If it's me or Charlotte I'll be so annoyed because we wouldn't have gotten our VS moment... anyway, assuming that were not being played and the other tribe is stupid enough to vote out of of their own the jack is going to vote with us and maybe get the other people that voted for autumn. Idk if that's going to be enough cus who fucking knows that the vote is going to look like, who knows if the people on my tribe will actually vote with us... Fuck they might tell autumn and someone might have an idol... Be a dumb one to play it on but you never know..... Rocks really would be fun though 

My tribe won't talk to me. Bunch of fake-ass bitches. JD's trying to use me. It's obvious. Don't seem to have another choice. Being used is better than being voted out.

Tonight's mood is fear. I went on call with Cameron and we came to a consensus of voting Madison. Duncan said the plan is to vote Madison while the decoy boot is Autumn, who is the queen of getting votes but always surviving I guess. APPARENTLY Lily found that lose a challenge thing the first round and she got 1 point on the challenge that round. does she have an idol? It's more likely than you think. So we're telling her and her co to vote Autumn (again). Hopefully if nothing blows up Madison goes. And then somehow through this shitstorm I'll get my way. Also I was talking to Charlotte and I asked Duncan if I should tell her about the Madison plan and he said not to but the gag is already I did. She seems to have no opinion on who to vote for though so like...whew? CharlotteI feel like I already did a confession but oh well. I want to work with my old tribe and Kevin, Lily, and Jack. Unfortunately Lily might need to be out of the loop in order to vote out Madison because they are supposedly close. It's messy either way.

My mind is blowing up. Okay so I know there's an alliance of six, and one's leaving. Either Autumn or Madison - likely Madison at this point. I made a pact with Ashvika/Ali/Duncan to do so, but now the tribe seems to be going towards that direction. I spilled the tea on JD throwing Dana's name out and confirmed Duncan threw out Will's name (which someone told Cameron already) and now i'm more like snakey and I don't like it. I also know Duncan tried to make some cross-tribal alliance with Owen and Dana. Interesting... Taking out anyone would be good at this point. I don't want to leave. I want the following people out: - JD - Duncan - Lily - Kevin - Madison Just because I either don't talk to them, or they're being snakes and I don't ACCEPT THAT! Hmm...

I feel like I’m absolutely leaving this tribal and I’m so scared. I don’t know what I did to deserve my name being thrown around I’ve literally tried so hard but it’s okay. I’ve heard the majority is voting for Autumn or Jack but idk if that’s just talk or what. I voted for Autumn, which I feel so guilty about, but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. Catch Autumn holding a grudge against me for the rest of my days. 💛

Omg I might be getting an idol tonight!! If it's not an idol it's at least going to be something good, and I'm super excited for it. I did a search on the island (path 4 after bringing a torch) and decided to climb that nice ass tree, and after a challenge similar to the stairway to hell challenge, I now have to get 5 people + myself on a skype call. I'm putting together a CAH game right now, so hopefully enough people will be up for that, and I can get my idol. If all of this is in vain though I AM going to start swinging so be warned amanda

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Okay time for me to figure shit out. People in the game: Ali, Ashvika, Charlotte, Dana, Duncan, me, Jack, JD, Kevin, Lily, Cameron, Madison, Owen, Ruthie, Will, Zach Who SHOULD BE voting for who at this point (7:37PM EST) Ali: Madison, probably Ashvika: Madison, probably Charlotte: Autumn or Madison, it depends on what our tribe wants Dana: Jack??? Duncan: Jack Emily: Autumn or Madison... preferably Autumn Jack: Madison, probably JD: Autumn or Madison, it depends on what our tribe wants Kevin: ??? Lily: Autumn, at this point Cameron: Autumn, at this point Madison: Autumn Owen: Jack??? Ruthie: Autumn or Madison, it depends on what our tribe wants Will: ??? Zach: Madison, probably So this means... likely... Autumn gets 7 possible votes. Madison gets 8 possible votes. Jack gets 3 possible votes. And then there’s 2 I don’t know. Kevin will probably vote for majority. Will will probably vote with his tribe. I’m just so worried right now. I don’t want to have to vote out Madison because she’s my friend but UGH!!! I think I’m going to have to. This is the worst tribal ever fuck

oohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh boy oh boy first of all let me just see FRICK U LILY I WANTED IMMUNITY SO BAD???? I FELT SO GOOD ABOUT MY SCORE OF SEVEN I WAS LIKE NOBODY IS GONNA BEAT THIS THIS IS INCREDIBLE A+ STRATEGY WITH SOME A+ LUCK and then....lily came in??? with a time of two fuckin minutes??? she's cancelled. I want her gone hehe :) but not as bad as I want jack gone.....oops. he messaged me last night and apparently I never answered his PM from dec. 18 (first tribal) saying that he heard autumn. I JUST NEVER SAID ANYTHING LOL AND HE DIDNT BRING IT UP UNTIL NOW AND HE YELLED AT ME AND I WAS LIKE "lily seemed to not want to budge" which just made it worse bc he was like "IM NOT LILY." which is true. But also does he realize yelling at people and making aggressive jokes is not the way to get them to want to work with you or like....not want to vote you out? i want em both G O N E. one world happened and I am sooooo frickin happy to finally be with so many cool people. I messaged Ali, Zach, Ashvika, Duncan, and Emily right away. Ruthie has been mostly gone but I sent her some stuff too. JD I talked to a bit I was nervous. ANd Charlotte I said hi to but she didnt reply much. ANYWAYS! Lily immediately made an alliance with madison emily and I. The thing I've learned about emily is that....everyone fuckin loves her in this game, not just the people I knew she was friends with before. Like Zach, Duncan, Ali....all three of them want to tell Emily everything and refuse to vote her?? Bitch me too tf but also...wow. This is so good bc she's definitely going to be the biggest threat later on. There was a lot of small talk last night and I started thinking that....obviously my tribe of nine isn't gonna vote together and their tribe of 8 probably was, but then Emily and some others mentioned that they thought the ventricle 8 wouldnt vote together. I was like hmmm inch resting....bc literally all my targets are on my own tribe. Today, however, things started taking shape. Emily said her tribe actually WAS trying to vote together now. My alliance (Cameron dana will and I, autumn was mia) got on call and figured that the best person to target at this point would be madison. Kevin isn't as with jack/lily as I thought apparently, lily is immune, anc the jack vs emily thing might take form eventually, plus madison/emily have the real life bond. I initially wanted jack or kevin but I do think it's better to just....let the people have what they want, and I guess what they want is madison's head on a stake. I like her but she's made...not too much effort to be messaging me so fkasjdhfjdskfhj sorry madison I feel really bad bc she got out early in isle of skye too :( maybe she won't actually go home tonight tho, let's see an idol!!!!! :') At first we were planning on pulling in Zach, Ali, Ruthie, and Duncan to vote for Madison with us. Emily seemed to catch wind of it.... Cameron and I tried t throw Jack's name out there too. A lot of stuff got messy. Eventually, Duncan called me and said he wanted to vote Jack, but not Madison, and also that his tribe had decided on Autumn but that he didnt wanna do that lmaooooo like...ur tribe rlly decided autumn when I know for a damn fact duncan, ali, zach, and others (half the tribe) would rather vote madison...........ok! so this decision was based on emily!!!! Duncan added me to a call with him and ashvika too (I LOVE HER SO MUCH HOS1 QUEEN) and eventually I made it clear that Madison needed to be the target if we wanted to get Kevin to vote with us. SO! Madison became the plan again fksjdahfkjd AND THEN FRICKIN ALI AND I CALLED AND ALI WANTED TO TELL EMILY AND I WAS LIKE DO WHAT U WANT BUD BUT ALSO MAYBE WAIT UNTIL AFTER THE VOTE DFKASHFKJ but now....apparently the whole tribe of 8 is voting madison and emily knows so oh well fksjdhf either i'm gettin played or madison is idoling or soemthing but honestly I don't know that it'd be me getting the votes so we're gucci this is a whole lot of messy thoughts but basically I think we're definitely swapping or something tonight and I think this round I've done a good job of reaching out to people and seeing where some connections are set. I have options going forward, especially if emily and kevin are in on the madison vote. Literally it's just going to be jack and lily mad at me if everyone is being truthful and I want their slithery selves out anyways. jk im the tru snake here hehehehehehe im really having fun this round even tho my head hurts and I think my alliance is still rlly makin things HAPPEN which is good. let's see tho it could still be me fskajhfksjd me every tribal

Guess who's back on the chopping block!! I'm really blown away by the amount of disrespect, people saying my name has the most traction and the exact same people telling me I don't have to worry. Fuck off- anyone who votes for me tonight can choke. Jack is dead to me; Emily's charm only works on the weak-minded; Ruthie, JD, and Charlotte can go; Lily is 12 so can't say I'm surprised that she'd keep her besties that she can't beat; and Madison is going out the door anyway. Oh fun fact: SHE was the one who told Kevin I was the vote for first round; Idk if she's the source that started the whole campaign but very inch resting that the campaign manager of the get-Autumn-out campaign in Himalayas isn't actually retired. So I don't recant and God really just resolved my moral dilemma of voting her out. She's fake and wouldn't know feminism if Gloria Steinem slapped her in the face (Susan B Anthony might be here for her kind of feminism though oop). The gag is I didn't want a Part 2 of Himalayas but she did and look where that got her. I cannot wait for her blindside and I'm genuinely ecstatic 

This is a 17 person group with 16 eligible options but yet again I MAKE THE MOST SENSE! I love my messy tribal question, asking what kind of work I'm doing to stay alive. Umm winning challenges and being my goddamn self. I am so sick and tired of this assumption that I'm not doing enough. I know I'm not in with varsity and that I can't compete with relationships that have existed for months and years. But I was never trying to do that. I just want a fair chance but look how that's going for me with NO ONE else getting repeatedly targeted in this game like me. Please stop and think about that. Not to take it there but is it really because I'm new or is that the lie white people are telling themselves? Everyone has their feet propped up chilling and casually trading tea bags while every fucking round I'm either at tribal trying to stay or using the time I'm not at tribal to secure relationships. Are these other 16 doing that and in what ways am I bad for so many people's games? Including those who've never met OR spoken to me? Ask yourself that and get back to me

I do not kiss anyone's ass- never have and never will. I neither have the time nor the insecurities to do some foolishness like that with a bunch of high schoolers. If you don't like me or don't want to get to know me fine but don't come into my lane or I'll fuck you up. I'll send them and all their lil friends home, which is the exact playing style that got me into All Stars in the first place. Maybe THAT'S why the admins brought me here- they knew these children would cut up and that while they're having a family reunion I would slit throats and actually play to fucking win. I will take down every single person who takes a shot at me and this Madison thing is just karma coming through from Himalayas. So shoutout to that ugly group who I know wrote my name down tonight- I needed more target options for when I stay!!

Why did I agree to play allstars? I hate that I threw that challenge so extremely but at least I now know that someone has it. With a 17 person tribal so much tea has been shared and poured and spilled and sopped up and wrung out and dripped into the mouths of others. In short Madison should be leaving tonight and I’m trying to play my own game. Originally it was going to be a blindside. Ali Ashvika Zach and myself were flipping to work with Owen, Cameron autumn Dana will and Kevin. So we had majority either way the dilemma was just whether we tell Emily or not before the vote. Luckily enough the tribe has switched to voting for Madison so it should be near unanimous. Madison is leaving because Emily cannot gain too much power. I wanted to vote jack but she was against it, so I’m okay with voting Madison. It’s really weird to watch who’s connected with who through trying to figure out this vote. I have a couple of alliances and new potential allies and seeing bonds form. I hope I’m not being bamboozled. Hehe bamboozleled is a funny word. Anyways I’m really interested to see how the game progresses because I feel good about my potential game moving forward and i am looking forward to the hell ahead 

I should vote for madison but I don't wanna lose trust with Emily or lily. I'm not gonna vote autumn but I could throw a vote on like...jack. but does that really help me with lily or no lol so hmmm and also if Emily knows madison is leaving idk ugh ARE U HAPPY AMANDA. fjsadhfkdjs fuck but if I vote jack I can be like to lily "omg i forgot to change my vote" but also....what if people are lying and my vote is needed? I feel pretty confident that Will, Cameron, Dana, Autumn, Zach, Ali, Duncan, and Ashvika are all gonna vote for Madison. The worst that can happen if I vote Jack is an 8-8-1 split and then on a revote I can vote Madison. If an idol or some other advantage is played tho that's yikes but it seems everyone is voting for madison now soooooo maybe I should just yolo it although if madison gets idoled....hm. HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Duncanhttps://youtu.be/J0cpaZBap0Q

So. I was gonna do a video confessional, but its too late and too much is happening and AGHHHH I need to recap everything that's happened since One World and oh.my.god, its a lot. So, we one world. First things first, I didn't expect to win immunity, but Lily also murdered this challenge, so it wasnt as if I could've even come close to winning. The first thing that really happened when we one world'ed was that I called with Will. Firstly, what a king, I love Will. I basically learnt that Will/Cameron/Owen/Dana/Autumn have been the majority and I LOVE that. The first four are all people I wanted to play with in some capacity going into this game, so its so great that they're all on the same page! Autumn I've just met but already love, she is fun and great. But yeah, I called with Will, and we were on the same loose page for the vote, but it was kinda too early to make any major decisions. I later called Dana. What a QUEEN. I am such a Dana stan too. I am so relieved she doesn't hate me, and I'd love to work with her going forwards too. I think our gameplay styles really compliment so that's great. Calling with her kinda reinforced to me that I should try and slot in with their alliance of 5. Today, I've called with Duncan,Owen and Cameron. They are all kings! The highlight is that Cameron also has an idol! I LOVE IT! Anyway, the vote was gonna be Autumn, but I am a seasonal warrior of time and space, so I tried to rally Ashvika and Duncan, and get people to flip to Madison. I think... I actually had a lot of control this vote and I'm kinda shook. Going forward, Lily and Jack are such unknowns for me that I really wanna see them go ajdfhaslkd. They would be my picks for the next two to go. I'm 100% sure I forgot stuff, but I'm rushing to submit this pre-tribal

I do not think we're tribe swapping after this. I just don't. I think this will be something... weird. We all vote together as a seventeen BUT after this... we're staying in our tribes. This One World is really trying to bait us into flipping? Idk though it's really working. I'm fine with flipping???? JD BROUGHT UP DANA'S NAME IN THE TRIBE CHATLKFJADKLFASDFLASD IM SCREAMING!!!!!!! I'm on call with ZACH RN!!!! AND HE GASPED!!!!! LMAO I'M CRYING!!!!!!!  I'm really trying to like..... figure out who I really wanna vote for my dude! This is crazy! I can't think of who I want gone and everyone has good arguments! I wanna go far with my boys, Zach and Ali, but I also want to go far with my girls, Lily and Madison, and my boy Owen. Like. There's definitely a dilemma.

Madison becomes the 4th person voted out of Athena All Stars in a 13-3-1 vote. You can see Madison’s preseason interview here.