#i am so tired of colin being compared to anthony

[jeffreyfrancoeur]

Can we just...stop comparing Colin to Anthony? Please? They aren't remotely close to the same person, and it's frankly disheartening to see time and time again now.

"Colin had no trauma related to love and self worth to deal with like Simon and Anthony had."

Unless I am very much mistaken, Colin and Anthony have the same father. They both watched said father die from a bee sting. They both watched their mother hold her dying husband in her arms and sob because she just lost the love of her life. The only difference? Anthony was 18, and Colin was 10-12, depending if we're talking show or book. Regardless, watching his father die absolutely gave Colin trauma.

Colin was sent off to Eton not months after his father died. He never was able to process it with his own family, because they stuck together and processed it together. But Colin had to go away to school. And when he was home, he would bring flowers and play games and try to keep everyone smiling. The only way he felt useful was to focus on everyone else's happiness and diminish his own needs.

He went away on travels each year to try to find himself, process his own trauma and experiences. His engagement to Marina blew up in his face, so he immediately left to go traveling, to lick his wounds away from the rest of the ton. And while he was gone, Penelope was the main one to read and reply to his letters. When he got back, his own family diminished him, said it was a waste of time, that his "prattling on about his travels" was boring. So what did that teach Colin? That his family doesn't care about him. Doesn't value him. Doesn't find his time, his experiences, worth it. Eloise says to Pen (in front of Colin) that she found his letters about Greece dull, and couldn't finish them.

So at the beginning of season 3, when he's returned from another summer away, after no one in his family replied to a single one of his letters, and in the carriage to the presentation, he's absolutely going to not want to talk about his travels with Anthony. "Who are you and what have you done to our brother?" You happened to Colin, Anthony. Colin is masking and pretending like his travels weren't a big deal, that they didn't affect him, when he straight up tells Penelope later that he used the time away to remake himself into a new man. To try out a new persona, away from the ton, where no one knew him as Colin Bridgerton, or as a Bridgerton at all. He was just some nameless man.

He felt like he had no one back home to care about him, so the problem must obviously be him. That there was something wrong with who he is as a person, and that maybe this new version of himself would finally make the people back home--and his family--care about him. Maybe this version would finally be the version of him that's good enough.

So when he comes back to London, he's a flirt. He plays at being a "rake." He sleeps with random women. He goes out drinking with his "friends" all the time, laughs with them at their conquests. But he doesn't enjoy any of it. His mother tells him that he's always been one of her most sensitive children, always putting others first, helping them, trying to lighten the mood. But she also says that he downplays himself for the sake of others. That he puts on armor, that he needs to not put others first so he can ensure that the armor will not some day rust and be unable to be removed. She is possibly the only person who sees Colin, truly sees him.

He feels like he needs to hide his sensitive side, be less needy, be stronger, be more manly. (I would eat my hat if Anthony hasn't told him to "be a man" more than once.) This flirty rake is not who he is at his core. At his core, he is kind, and sensitive, and craves connection. He craves connection so deeply. He wants to be seen, to be loved, to be cared for, to be cherished. Ultimately, he wants someone to value him, like he does for all those around him that he cares about. His family ignored him for that entire summer, and he still brought back incredibly thoughtful gifts for each of them, that shows how much he knows them and loves them. He wants to be able to love, care for, and cherish someone in return.

How is his desire for love and to be loved and this ease in which he creates a new Colin to try and please everyone else not a trauma response related to love and self worth?

[pensbridge]

S3 First Reactions 🪞🐝🦋🪶

❤️ Already fangirled about the whole engagement night - the hugs, Hyacinth!!!

Colin not being able to stay away for that long after their engagement announcement and immediately excusing himself at Anthony's suggestion is exactly what I'd expect of him. ×

❤️ Colin calling out Portia. "out of love." 😢

❤️ "OUR BRIDGERTON NAME" is so important, because it's reiterating that Penelope's getting to choose her family when the one she was born into is so awful

He was so nervous when she didn't respond to their new home.

"Because I love you...Pen." 😢

"Are you sure?" PEN, no 😭😭😭

❤️ That mirror moment (i love how he said "the way your eyes shine when you look at me..." callback to her complimenting his eyes) "...And other things..."

bxtch they stuck with the thread of Colin not opening his eyes to stay in the dream and Pen checking to see if it's real when they kiss

The eye acting of Nicola and Luke! (they are being doe eyes x the intensity of his gaze or w/e it is)

The gulp <3 Nicola

"You are so beautiful."

❤️ The first time!!!

"I hope my husband.." - Fran, AND John -"I would not dream of it" 😯 asdfjgkglyl

Kate & El (got their s2 vibes)

Ahh, the "Do I look a mess?" "You are my mess" was delivered so perfectly.

cute, cute, cute riding through town in carriage (no personal space)

The hand kiss in front of portia!

Colin handing Eloise the spoon 🤣

❤️ the charades game - the cutest thing (they're holding hands)

Also, fuckin Anthony being tooo competitive 😆

Peneloise rights! The back 'n forth in the game 😬

The panic attack was high-octane; the concern in the scene was cute xxx

❤️ Fran looking at John & Violet hating this story lol.....and then, me noticing her realization to another child in love

❤️ The look & collar tug in the church (polin is so dorky & domestic already)

❤️ Soooooo....the spontaneous dance in the church is better than I thought it was gonna be...their goofy footwork, spinning in a multitude of circles "dancing with MY FUTURE WIFE in THE CHURCH WHERE WE WILL BE MARRIED" bye

Part 1, the ton jokes and bullies them and Part 2, we just see people that can't help but get happy and giddy when they see their young love. Violet and Lady Danbury awwing at polin and embracing them in the park!!!

❤️ "I am going to look at the very fine wainscoting" -John, please! 😅

"Not every attachment must be dramatic and hard-fought." - Francesca 😢 bby, you're right

I legit went from this man has the crazy eyes ppl talk about to *tired eyes Wide-Open*... Bi Benedict?! ..I'm getting Bi Benedict?! (I was like: Why?Is?He?Staring?at?him?Like?That? (i knew i sensed the vibes! The Best Surprise!!!)

"This dance does not compare to a private waltz in the church where we'll be married." She's SO cute! "Well perhaps we shall have to add some flourish." Stop. km now (that's so him! he is so dumb; they're married already and dumb as they should be! ×)

Props again with the deaf representation & the sass when Miss Cressida enters the ball

"A scandal writer for a daughter. Can you imagine?" - Portia (i'm sorry i love this whole sequence)

Polin gets more perfectly dork w/stepping on feet being included during their dance at The Mondrich Ball (that's very them)

Thank god for Bridgerton giving us hour long episodes in this 2nd part.

❤️ Eloise admitting she's wrong (and so casually) 😢 ps i think they both have faults but i just love this

❤️ "The column began because I felt powerless in my own home." - Pen (well, i'm glad she said it!)

ok, now Pen admits her faults. all is right again

❤️ Irish accent again

"You are Lady Whistledown." This reveal was everything

omg, was this the scene where he wasn't supposed to cry, but did?! What would I have done without this reaction in such an important moment?! 😢

I love how Penelope highlighted the voiceless as she said she should with Eloise in her new edition of Whistledown

Violet to Agatha - "..but I hope you know that my care for you is not contingent on your aid." 😢 (she sees her)

This whole fight outside the modiste's. 😭

"I have been careful. You have been foolish.."

❤️ "I LOVE YOU" and he was shocked (an 'ily for you' moment) [i was not expecting the follow up to his line to go like that]

❤️ They deserve a hot passionate makeout before they are married where they get completely caught up after fighting.

"What am I chopped liver?" yes Anthony in this situation you are.

❤️ Violet calling in Kanthony for Colin marital advice

❤️ Yellow

The look at each other down the aisle.

❤️ Vows. Weddings on this show are usually so unhappy, but I appreciate that Colin is still so reassuring & clearly beaming about this when there is residual upset/confusion.

❤️ Eloise cryyinng

Ben's line to El- "..The friendship you have with Penelope... As the one you have with Colin." xxx (she doesn't wanna lose them)

"OUR child will always be a Bridgerton, but I should like them to know that they are a Sharma as well." fxck 🥲

"I should like to dance with my husband.."

The disappearing people in the wedding dance. like they're the only 2 ppl in the room! (Bridgerton either has it out for me [to cry] or loves me so much)

ANTHONY 👁👁 Marcus & Violet

Colin's hand caressing on Pen's face at the end of the dance they're really coming for me (bro did he almost kiss her?!??? i freaked out; had to rewind)

The queen excusing all non-Bridgertons + "Penelope, you are a Bridgerton now."

I kind of love that "Everyone except the Bridgertons are to scatter," but Lady Danbury's just there

GOD (I knew it as soon as it was coming) Eloise hugs Pen <3 🥲

ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod bi Ben

❤️ The hair grab!

This printer's assistant is on my shit list

SCOTLAND!!! JOHNCESCA

"It is not up to you what we do." 🤭❤️🤣 Colin mad but still ready to defend his wife (as it should be)

"I know my father was a good man and you are a good friend." Violet-Agatha feels

🙀He kept the letters!

💛John's words to Mama Bridgerton (her children's traits)

She said she was a fumbling mess in front of Edmund like 5 minutes before she is fumbling in front of Marcus

"Then how am I meant to help you?" ❤️ "By loving me."

❤️ Pen's love confession

"....to be a young lady to whom no one listens." - Pen!~Eloise shared look

Philippa + her "bugs"

😲 Lady Danbury x Pen (she knew! ❤️)

❤️ Colin's love confession (them crying together x)

El traveling with Johncesca

Mi-MICHAELA Stirling ... Bridgerton I swear if you are queerbaiting

OH MY GOD! Mama Bridgerton's words -FRANCESCA is fumbling her words.

❤️ Colin focussing on the hands in bed

Pen on top!

"Your father is always trying to distract with a clever word &..." "You think my smile is beguiling?" x "I could not have written without the help of Auntie Penelope." They are so obsessed with each other

Philomena?! did i hear that rt? omg Philippa

Yay we got confirmation of Colin's book! (I can only hope they're sitting in bed reading next season).

[rubysunnday]

your song, prt 2 | c.b

Summary: As their wedding day approaches, Y/N’s parents continue to disappoint her. Colin reminds her that his own family is now hers.

Part 1 

Colin Bridgerton had a way with words.

Ever since the concert, he hadn’t stopped writing Y/N little notes, proclaiming his love to her and comparing her to a summer’s day. Y/N was almost certain that half the things he wrote down where stolen directly from Anthony’s copy of Shakespeare’s sonnets, but she wasn’t complaining.

In the dozens of letters he sent her from when he was on his travels abroad, he always managed to describe what he was seeing in a way that made Y/N feel like she was there. From his vivid descriptions of the Grecian beaches lined with houses of every colour to the snowy heights of Norway, Colin somehow always made her feel as if she was there.

Y/N treasured each and every letter he sent her, tying them all together with a beautiful ribbon that he'd sent all the way from Amsterdam. They sat on her shelf next to the dried flowers that had been a part the bouquet of flowers he'd given her for her birthday.

She had spent the day with the Bridgerton's since her own parents were too busy up in Scotland to come down to celebrate.

Her parents were constantly disappointing her. They had barely even acknowledged her since she’d announced her engagement and she was tired of being ignored. 

Y/N walked into the drawing room of Bridgerton House, a fake smile on her face. 

“Y/N!” Hyacinth squealed, running up to her future sister-in-law and hugging her.

“Hello, Hyacinth,” Y/N said, returning her hug.

"I thought your parents were coming," Anthony said, noticing Y/N's lack of escort. His brow furrowed in concern as he noticed Y/N’s forced smile.

"They are in Scotland," Y/N replied, sitting down on the sofa and sighing. "They are too busy with my sister's horse riding competition to bother coming down to celebrate."

Y/N was trying to hide her upset about being forgotten by her parents. It wasn't the first time it had happened and it probably wouldn't be the last. Y/N's sister was their dream child - the talented one who would probably be the diamond of whatever year she decided to make her debut in.

Y/N's own debut had been almost ruined by her parents. Her grandfather had died two days before she'd been due to be presented to the queen and her parents and vanished overnight to Cornwall, leaving Y/N behind with no one to present her or accompany her to the ball.

Which was when Colin had stepped in. They'd found each other out in Hyde Park where Y/N had gone to escape her house and by the time they'd walked back to Bridgerton House, Colin had decided that Y/N was worthy of so much more than what her parents were giving her.

"Anthony!" Colin yelled, as soon as he walked inside the front door of Bridgerton house. "Anthony!"

"Colin, be quiet, it is fine," Y/N said, hitting his arm not too gently.

"No, it is not fine," Colin replied, his usual cheeky grin absent. "This is one of the most important days in your life and they have just left you! Anthony!"

"Colin, will you stop yelling!" Y/N hissed, noticing the staff giving them both bizarre looks.

Colin didn't listen. "ANTH - oh, there you are."

Anthony Bridgerton all but ran down the stairs, panic on his face. "What, who is injured?"

"No one," Colin replied, frowning. "What made you think that?"

"You yelling, probably," Y/N muttered, yelping as Colin elbowed her.

Anthony sighed and closed his eyes in despair. "Colin,” Anthony said slowly, looking up “what do you want?"

Colin shoved Y/N forward, the woman almost falling into Anthony at the sudden shove. She shot Colin a glare but he ignored it, putting his hands on her shoulders and spinning her back to face Anthony.

"Y/N, here. Our wonderful, amazing Y/N, has been abandoned by her parents. They will not be able to present her to the queen in two day's time nor will they be able to escort her to the ball. Therefore, I was wondering if you and mother could do it."

Y/N looked up at Anthony. She'd known him since she was eight and the Viscount had become a parental figure in her life, replacing the lacklustre figure that was her actual father. But asking him and his mother to present her to the queen was a massive ask.

Anthony's eyes softened as he looked down at Y/N. He put a hand on her shoulder and nodded. "Of course we can. Come upstairs, Y/N, Eloise will be very annoyed if she finds out you stopped by and did not say hello. We can talk more then."

Y/N took Anthony's arm and let him walk her up the stairs. She glanced behind her and mouthed a thank you to Colin who sent her a smile and a thumbs up.

Anthony gestured to the sofa next to Eloise and Y/N blinked, suddenly remembering where she was. 

"So, your parents are continuing the standard they set when they did not turn up to your debut, then?" Eloise asked, moving up as Y/N sat down next to her. She offered the tin of sweets she was holding out to her.

"Please, do not remind me," Y/N muttered, taking a red sweet. "Thank you, again, for saving me," Y/N said, looking up at Anthony and Violet. "Truly."

"Do not worry about it, my dear," Violet replied, waving her off. "Will you be joining us for dinner tonight?"

"If you do not - Colin, what on earth?"

Y/N stared at Colin, who was struggling to hold a large bouquet of roses, hyacinths, elderflowers and daisies, with a perplexed look.

"Happy birthday!" He exclaimed, setting them on the table in front of her.

Y/N leant back to avoid being poked in the eye by a branch of elderflower. "I..."

Colin's face fell. "You hate them, I can tell. I was not sure how big was too big or how many flowers to include -"

"Colin, I love it," Y/N said, cutting him off. "I just was not... expecting anything."

Colin smiled down at her. "I could not remember which flower was your favourite out of them," he said, fiddling with a daisy, "but I remembered you liked how purple contrasts with blue and how yellow breaks the colours up like it does in a sunset. Specifically -"

"The Athens sunset of July 1814," Y/N said softly, remembering every single detail of that letter.

Colin's description of the sunset had stuck with her ever since. He'd described it in so much detail she'd felt as if she'd been sat next to him on the beach.

Her birthday flowers had only been the start. Colin seemed to remember every passage that had transported her, every sentence that had made her envy his freedom, every word Y/N had felt connected to and turned it into affection and gifts.

He made her feel wanted and loved when her own parents forgot about her or dismissed her. Whenever she cried he picked her up and read from his journals to distract her. Every single ball he would compare her dress to a sunset he'd seen and Y/N would just listen in awe as the words flowed like a song.

And then he had actually written her a song and had gotten it performed at the opera and Y/N had fallen head over heels in love with him. Colin had proposed to her that night and Y/N hadn’t hesitated before saying yes.

Colin had began leaving notes around her house, counting down to their wedding day. They’d come accompanied by flowers or little presents and even watercolours of her favourite places. Y/N kept them all in a box under her bed, hidden away from her parents who, if she was honest, didn’t really care about Y/N’s wedding or her successful match. 

Her parents lack of interest in her or her wedding hurt. Y/N was hoping that her match to Colin would have at least perked something inside them but all she’d received was stoney silence and her father telling her that they couldn’t make it. He didn’t say why they couldn’t make it, just that they couldn’t make it. 

“Hey, are you alright?” Colin asked quietly, nudging Y/N’s arm.

Y/N turned her head to look at Colin, realising that he’d evicted Eloise off the sofa and taken her place. Benedict and Anthony were both looking over at them with matching looks of concern but Y/N focused on Colin and nodded. “I am fine, Colin. I am simply thinking.”

“Well, we all know how dangerous that is for you, my love,” Colin replied teasingly, winking at her. His smile faded as he noticed her solemn expression. “Come on, tell me what is wrong.”

“My parents,” Y/N said quietly. “They... well, you know what they do to me. They have said that they are not coming to the wedding and have not even acknowledged me since we got engaged. They do not even acknowledge my birthday and I just -” Y/N cut herself off with a hefty sigh and dropped her head onto Colin’s shoulder. “I am so tired of them.”

Colin rested his head on top of Y/N’s and held her hand. “I know you are, darling. I am sorry they are not better parents. But,” he lifted his head up and gently tilted Y/N’s chin up, “you do not have to worry about them anymore. My family is your family, Y/N.”

Anthony, who had been listening to every word, spoke up. “Y/N, I will happily walk you down the aisle if you do not want your parents there.”

Y/N nodded and smiled, feeling tears burning her eyes. “Thank you, Anthony.”

Anthony could read her like a book and got up, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “I promise you, I will not let them ruin your day.”

Y/N nodded. “I know, Anthony, thank you.”

Colin nudged her. “See, I told you. Besides, I do not believe that Hyacinth will let you go anywhere without her. You are a Bridgerton now.”

Y/N smiled sadly and kissed him on the cheek. “I cannot wait to marry you, Colin Bridgerton.”

“I cannot wait to marry you either, Y/N Bridgerton,” Colin replied with a smile.

[imgoingtofreakoutnow]

An old friend - Part 3

Summary: The picnic has come and so the time to face Anthony on what you discovered, but will everything go as planned?

Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton x Fem!reader

Other characters: Hyachint Bridgerton, Eloise Bridgerton, Penelope Featherington

Words: 3.0k+

Warnings: slight angst (?), fluff, again some yearning

A/n: This has been quite difficult to finish, I had different ends in mind but none seemed to fit well the flow... I hope you’ll like this! Also, I may post other parts in the future but for now, count this as the final one. ENJOY!

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

Gif's not mine, credit to the rightful owner

When the time came to attend the picnic in Hyde Park, the day was nothing but perfect: the sun, for the special gathering, had decided to come out of the clouds to honor everyone with its presence and a warm breeze enveloped every figure walking through the gardens or simply resting on the grass with its embrace. Even the London sky didn’t look like its normal self, with no grey clouds all over; just a few white stripes painting the bright blue canva. In other words, the epitome of a summer day.

However, sat under the gazebo playing cards with Hyacinth, Eloise and Penelope, you felt much worse than a rabbit caught under the wheel of a carriage.

"Miss Y/N/L". You turned towards Hyacinth, who was pointing at the cards. "It's your turn"

"Very well..." you sighed, throwing in the space between the four of you the first card that came in your hand. Winning the game was the least of your problems.

You had spent all night rolling from one side of your bed to the other, playing and replaying every possible scenario in your head, looking for the right way to ask Anthony what you wanted to know without sounding too accusatory. Nevertheless, it was hard to face the man when he was nowhere to be found!

He had just a moment to greet you with a quick kiss on your hand - which, you couldn't help, had made your heartbeat rise as a river during a flood - before being taken hostage first of many beautiful debutants, second of their meddlesome mothers and lastly of some old friends from boarding school.

Right now he was somewhere in the park with them, possibly reminiscing of that one time they put black ink in the professor's shoes... or something similar to that, you imagined. You weren't so sure of what sort of jests could boys come up with.

"Miss Y/N/L". Hyacinth's voice reached you again through the bubble of your thoughts. You put down another card. It took you a second after that to realize that Eloise had no cards in her hands anymore, thus making her the winner.

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry" you apologised, putting your left cards back in the deck. "I hope you didn't ask me anything while I was lost in my mind"

"Just if you were alright, miss" explained Penelope. "Did you sleep well last night? You look quite tired"

You sighed. There was no sense in keeping that a secret. "Not quite. Some matters just seemed to be stuck in my head and decided not to leave for the night"

Eloise's eyes sparked in interest. "What kind of matters?" she asked, eating a strawberry.

"Nothing relevant at all" you assured with a smile, but from the look on Eloise's face, you knew she wasn't finished asking.

"No irrelevant matter could keep anyone awake for an entire night" she pointed out. "But I know what matters could..."

Penelope sighed. "Eloise..."

"Family matters" she started, raising her index, "and heart matters". She bent slightly towards you with the Bridgertons' signature smile on. "Which does apply to you?"

You scoffed. "Neither, of course". As you lowered your gaze to the messy deck, the rays of the sun felt suddenly more focused on your face than on anyone else's.

"Heart matters, that is!" Eloise exclaimed with a single clap, her eyes smiling brighter than her grin. "Do we know the lucky gentleman who caught your eye? Or perhaps he is from the countryside? Don’t tell me: are you two secretly engaged?"

Before your cheeks became the same shade of wine, a deep voice intruded the conversation: "You shouldn't badger our guest with your inquisitiveness, Eloise"

Your head shot up to meet Anthony's gaze. Even though your feelings towards him were mixed at the moment, seeing him washed you over with a warm, soothing sensation, as the need of his touch grew within you.

Eloise huffed, standing up from her seat, immediately followed by miss Featherington. "You are a bore, dear brother. I have nothing else to say on this matter". Then, taking Penelope's arm in hers, she walked away, already whispering in her best friend's ear.

"Anthony, do you want to play with us?" asked Hyacinth, already preparing the deck for another round.

Anthony smiled gently at her. "Maybe later" he said, pinching lightly her cheek. "Why don't you go play with Gregory now? I've heard he wanted to see if he could find rabbits near the bushes... or perhaps even goblins"

Hyacinth gasped. "Without me?!". She quickly and clumsily got up in her dress and, after a small curtsey to you, she was running on the grass to who-knows-where.

Now that the cover was clear, Anthony laid down next to you, pointing his elbow on the ground to keep himself up. After adjusting in a comfortable position, he sighed, looking in the direction in which Hyacinth ran off.

"Should you think she'd be angry to find out I lied to her?"

You smirked, taking a card from the deck and fidgeting it in your hands. "About Gregory or the goblins?"

Anthony turned to you, raising his eyebrows. "Both?"

You shook your head, giggling ever so slightly. "You, Lord Bridgerton, are incorrigible: lying like this to your youngest sister... what a rascal"

A corner of his lips tilted upwards. "You should not talk like this to a viscount, miss Y/L/N" he murmured. His hand moved to your arm, his fingers stroking your bare skin, lighter than a feather touch and equally tingling. "I would say it was quite improper"

At this words you moved away from him, just enough so that his fingers could only touch the empty space between you. He searched your face but you were still staring at your card.

"I believe we should talk, my lord” you said, your voice still and steady more than what you expected. “However...", you looked at Benedict and Colin, who had just appeared in your sight and were directed towards the gazebo, "...maybe a walk would be best suited for such matters"

Even with his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, Anthony nodded, standing up again and offering his hand to help you. You gently accepted and he pulled you up. Nonetheless your feet got caught in the cover, making you lose your balance and ending up in his arms.

"I-I'm terribly sorry" you muttered, raising your gaze to his and finding him already staring at you. The warmth of his hands, steadying you, got past your gloves terribly easily and you found that being there, pressed against his chest, so near to his heart, was the only place were you wanted to be.

You took a couple of steps back, smoothing your wrinkled dress and taking a deep breath in. His closeness was like opium to you: even the slightest hint and you lost your mind; and unfortunately right now, you had to be present.

He cleared his voice, handing politely his arm to you. "Shall we go?". You nodded joining your arms and moved with him on the beaten pathway.

A few minutes passed in complete silence, as you tried to find the right words to start. Apart from sporadic pairs walking the opposite direction, you were the only ones strolling in the park at that time of the day, when the sun shines so bright it could make the blood in your veins boil; only birds kept uninterrupted their concert.

"Are you upset because I didn’t honor you with my presence all morning?" guessed Anthony, raising his eyebrows. “Trust me, I would’ve gladly spent more time with you than with any of my other acquaintances”

You shook your head, a smile gracing your face. "Certainly not, my lord: your family was very kind to me in your absence" you assured him. "Besides I'm not upset... I just want answers to what I've heard"

"And what, pray tell, have you heard?"

You moved your gaze from his; there was no way to sweeten the pot. "I've heard that, in certain circles, you are considered a rake; and" you added, before he could stop you, "that you've been spending time with various women last season, opera singers from what these rumours told me"

"And you believe these rumours, miss Y/L/N?". His voice didn't show any emotions but his muscles were tense as an arp string.

"That is why I'm asking you, my lord. I wish to believe it a lie, but your actions yesterday, as appreciated, had boldness in them... quite like Sir Feversham's"

Anthony stopped in the middle of the path, his jaw clenched. "Don't compare him to me, I am nothing like him”. His dark eyes seemed coal ready to be set on fire. “I would've never forced you into anything-"

"I know". You squeezed gently his arm against your side. "I know that, Anthony. Nonetheless, I’ve been wondering since last night if you consider me just as one of those opera singers and you’ll leave me alone like you did to them: my honor undermined and a broken heart to fix..."

"Do you really think I would do something like that?"

You raised your eyes to meet his. The lump in your throat, seeing the hurt look on his face, triplicated. "Haven't you done it before?"

Anthony clenched his jaw again, avoiding your gaze. Many emotions crossed his eyes before he closed them for a moment. Then, after giving a quick look all around, he started guiding you towards an almost hidden path through the hedges.

"Where are you taking me?" you asked, confused and slightly frightened by the sudden change of course.

He glanced towards you with his lips curved. "You did want answers, didn't you?". When you nodded, Anthony slid his hand in yours. "Then there is absolutely no need to worry, miss Y/L/N, I can assure you that" he whispered, preceding you in that natural maze.

As you followed him, jumping over ponds of mud, protruding roots and avoiding overhanging branches, it felt for a moment like you were back in one of the fantasies you two came up with as kids, exploring the deep amazonian jungle in search of a lost civilisation or a hidden temple behind a waterfall; you couldn't believe they belonged to such a long time ago...

The hedges surrounding you ended abrubtly, opening on a clearing that looked like an illustration from a storybook: the grass, kept perfectly cut in the rest of the park, reached knee height there and, in between the stems, flowers popped out in the vivid green, their bright colours catching your eye.

However what left you mouth agape was the modest pavilion in the centre. Its classic columns, with ivy crawling around them, had almost invisible cracks on their surface, and the marble, if once polished, was now covered with a thick layer of dust and dead leaves. Still, even so neglected, its ruined beauty left you speechless.

"How... how did you manage to find this place?" you asked in a whisper, your fingers caressing the tall grass as you approached the pavilion.

"In the most common and simple way”. At your confused glance, he smiled mischievously. “Hiding from my mother"

“You even hid from your mother, my lord?” you smirked.

“Everything to escape her matchmaking schemes” Anthony laughed before a sad smile appeared on his lips. “Nevertheless, it was years ago, when I was still allowed to act as a foolish young man, from time to time”. He left your hand and started unbuttoning his tailcoat.

As he took it off to put it on the marble bench, your gaze wandered on his shoulders and down his arms, framed by his tight waistcoat and usually concealed under that thick layer of blue velvet.

"Shall we start?" he asked, gesturing for you to sit next to him.

You took a seat and noticed how Anthony was wringing his hands, his body again all tensed up. Without uttering a word - it was his time to speak - you took his hand in yours, stroking your gloved thumbs on his skin.

"I must say" he started, "that the market’s gossip is quite accurate... but still not enough to be a reliable source” - then, after a sigh - “because yes, I am a rake - or at least I can be consirered one - and yes, I spent most of last season at the opera house. However, unlike what those women told you, my only company was one beautiful and indipendent lady, whose name I’d rather keep unknown"

He looked at you, almost asking for your permission. "Of course, my lord, I understand". Anthony nodded thankfully before letting his tongue on the loose.

He told you everything you needed to know, his gaze fixed on nothing, eyes lost in memories that you could only try to picture in your head. Every emotion he’d felt in the past crossed his face as he spoke of every step of the affair, from their first meeting to their very last goodbye. You saw how difficult was for him to remember that latter part, even though months had passed since then. After all, no love can ever be truly forgotten.

"Looking back, I’ve realized only recently that she broke my heart just as much as I broke hers" he admitted, his gaze falling on your joined hands. “She deserved much better than the transitory pleasure I was able to give her... I still slightly regret what we could’ve been, but there’s no use in mourning the past”. He stroked gently the palm of your hand. “I’ve found the present to be an unexpected and more appreciated bearer of happiness”

You blushed as his eyes set on you, a welcome sincerity lighting them. However, there was still something, in a deep corner of your mind, that wouldn't let you enjoy the moment completely.

"Thank you for telling me all about it, Anthony" you said, watching him trace abstract figures on your hand. "But I do have one last question"

He moved your hand to his mouth, placing a kiss on your covered wrist and lingering with his lips on that small spot. "You can ask me anything, Y/N"

After a deep breath, you fixed your eyes in his. "What am I to you?"

He furrowed his brows, confused. "I beg your pardon?"

"I do believe you fancy me" you started, looking away and fidgeting your hands as you spoke, "but I can't quite understand if your intentions with me are honorable or if you're simply using my company to your likings"

Anthony shook his head. “That’s nonsense, I would never-”

"Then do you intend to propose to me?" you asked, a rush of boldness flowing in your veins. “You know me, more deeply than any man I’ve ever met, and I found myself drawn to you in a way I’ve never experienced before... and I believe you feel the same”. He stared at you in silence. "I thought you wanted to marry as soon as you found a suitable lady..." you added, his stillness making your heart ache. "Am I not enough to be your wife?"

"Don't". Anthony cupped your face, his hands warm on your skin. "Do not say something like that ever again. You are not only more than enough, but more than I could've ever hoped to find... your intelligence astounds me just as much as your beauty hypnotizes me and I do believe you shall become one of the most accomplished Viscountess of Bridgerton that ever walked this Earth"

As his words beat in your mind ritmically with the pounding of your heart, you held your breath. "...but?"

"But I've rushed things in the past and burned everything I'd built to the ground, myself included. I don't want to make any mistakes with you, and if that means doing things properly, then be it". He stroked your cheek gently and you unconsciously leaned in his touch. "I've lost you once and I surely shall not make the same mistake twice"

You smiled, tears menacing to roll down your cheeks at any moment.

"Don't cry" he whispered, leaving a light kiss on your forehead and you laughed. His lips were as soft as you pictured them in your dreams.

"Don't mind my wet eyes... I'm just- I've never felt this happy before"

He smiled, placing one hand on yours. "Let's hope this will never change then". You nodded, smiling even wider.

So, as the sun went down and the wind kept blowing, you stayed there, talking, laughing, making up for all the lost time, in that little clearing out of time, and you wished you could stay there forever...

“We should go now” Anthony got up from its place. “It’s getting dark”

Making your way back in the reality it felt like waking up from a long, sweet dream, one that makes you wish you could sleep forever.

Your carriage was already waiting you at the edge of the park. Anthony helped you get into it as the gentleman he was. “Goodnight, miss Y/L/N”

“Goodnight, Lord Bridgerton” you smiled down at him, your hand still in his. “And thank you for the wonderful day”

He smirked and kissed your knuckles lightly, lingering again on the same spot where he kissed you for the first time. “The pleasure was all mine, my lady. I shall see you soon”

“Of course” you whispered not capable of even breathing. Anthony smiled, letting go of your hand as a footboy closed the door of the carriage. Then the coachman incited the horses and you were off in the night.

Resting on the soft pillows inside, you sighed, your eyes fixed on the stars outside the window. “Until next time”

Tag list: @lady1505 @truly-insatiable @littlemissbridgerton @anthonybridgertonsmistress​ @chaoticgirl04 @xceafh @latekate1807 @peoniarose @bridg-09 @michael-loves-chickens​ @beckachicago3​ (tell me if you want to be added or removed💗)

[ambrosiaaddiction]

Have A Little Faith

Word Count: 1,783

Summary: You are at Lady Danbury’s evening ball, which is the perfect opportunity to find a potential suitor so that you can finally settle down. But of course, it’s not as easy as it sounds. You’ve found yourself standing far away from everyone else, and just when you think tonight will be fruitless, your childhood friend, Anthony Bridgerton, changes all of the thoughts inside your head.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Tonight was the night where I needed to do a little flirting with men I have never personally met, and hopefully, I’ll impress them with my charms. That’s if they would gauge their attention onto me instead of whatever they wanted to boast about.

Mama practically talked my ear off when we were upon arriving Lady Danbury’s estate, but Richard distracted her with the topic of his new fiancée like the eldest brother he is. I still hadn’t thanked him for his act of bravery, although, that could wait for when we were in the carriage.

In my mind, I ventured on about whether or not he would be at the ball. The last time we’ve met was nearly three days ago when our families agreed to have a picnic in celebration of a newborn baby coming into the world. As much as I enjoyed engaging in social encounters, I had been more comfortable with reading alone in my room.

But alas, he persuaded me to join everyone outside where we could eat and share jokes under the warm sun together. Since then, I couldn’t stop thinking about the way his shoulder brushed against mine more than enough times to call it accidental.

The man even offered to feed me a sandwich and delectable piece of scone he had already bitten into. Luckily for the two of us, our families were too immersed with doting over the aforementioned newborn baby to realize what we were doing.

Viscount Bridgerton, informally known as Anthony or Bridgerton by both family and close friends. I was not exempt from the latter formalities, although, I’ve always wondered what my life would be like if I had not crossed paths with him.

He is everything and more when Lady Whistledown wrote about him in her society’s paper last Tuesday. And to be quite frank, he needed to work for what he wanted rather than let it fall into his lap.

It seemed unfathomable the way he charmed his way through women of the ton while simultaneously rejecting them. I found it entertaining to see the crestfallen faces of girls my age, but am I to blame for their naïveté?

Anthony Bridgerton is a Rake through and through, which I can say with the utmost certainty because I am his childhood friend.

Now, don’t get me wrong. He loves his mother and siblings in place of his late father, and he is very passionate in regards of his interests. That includes women who have a pretty face and have given him an unforgettablely good time.

But this did not excuse the trail of broken hearts as well as tearful confessions behind the Viscount. Although a bit discouraging for someone who harbored feelings for the man, I always kept a smile on my face whenever we had a conversation with one another.

Anthony was extremely well-versed in politics, social skills, and the economy. There were times when I tested him on a popular topic in the papers, which as expected, he excelled.

I should not be thinking about the past at this hour. Everyone around me was dancing, drinking their glasses of champagne, and looking for someone to court. Letting out a deep sigh, I brush off a speck of invisible dust from the hem of my dress.

That’s when I see him, politely making his way through the crowd to go to where I am. A silent panic breaks my former calm demeanor, and I quickly stand taller to seem more presentable. It does not go unnoticed in the slightest, thus Anthony chuckles behind a hand then he stands before me in his handsome glory.

“Good evening, Miss Willows. How are you enjoying the ball so far?” There’s a mischievous glint behind those mesmerizing brown eyes, but onlookers would mistake it as a completely different emotion. “Hello, Lord Bridgerton. I’m much comfortable standing on the sidelines rather than dancing the night away. Thank you for asking, my lord.”

He shakes his head with amusement, and he finds my honest reply to be of a different mood compared to the other young women. “Then you shan’t refuse my offer to dance the night away, Miss Willows.” I furrow my brows in confusion and not a moment later, I’m swept onto the dance floor.

I’ve not the chance to process all that has happened, but Anthony keeps me focused on him and only him. He lowers his head to whisper words of encouragement, and I flush like a rose when he sneaks a kiss on the apple of my cheek. It’s too much for me to understand why he chose me instead of any other woman he wanted in the ball room.

“I’m relieved to see that you’re not stepping on my feet, and how beautiful your smile glows, Miss Willows.” I’m temporarily rendered speechless as to why he’s suddenly being quite the gentleman towards me. If it weren’t for the bystanders, he and I would be playfully bantering nonstop about the most random things we could think of.

“Anthony, tell me, what’s gotten into you? I appreciate the change of attitude, but it’s not the Bridgerton I know.” He’s unresponsive for a minute, then two. I can feel his grip on my waist tighten and the subtle action to bring our bodies closer. I’m not sure how I should react, but I needn’t say anything at all when he spins me around.

“My mother wants me to find a young lady to court because she’s tired of me being a bachelor for most of my life.” “Well, I can’t say I’m not surprised because she’s right.” I’m quick to give my reply, and he briefly glares down at me. “Oh, come now, Anthony. Even Lady Whistledown knows about your spectacular reputation and preferences.”

“Yes, but that’s all she knows about me, y/n. I just don’t think I’m capable of settling down with a family of my own in the near future.” The song comes to an end, and we bow before walking together for some refreshments. I say my hellos to several couples, single lords, and some of my friends when we come across them.

“That is a lie because from my knowledge, you’re the spitting image and exact replica of your father, Anthony Bridgerton.” “Y/n, I’m grateful to have met an extraordinary woman like yourself, but sometimes you get on my nerves.” That stabbed me right in the heart. Alright, perhaps I shouldn’t have mentioned his late father, but he didn’t have to be so harsh.

“Look, all I’m saying is that you can marry whoever you want to, but you’d most definitely choose a woman with the same personality as yours.” I watch him take a swig from his wine glass, and then he points it at me. Narrowing my eyes as I brace myself for possible humiliation, he sets down the glass and takes my hand to drag me off to someplace other than where we were now.

I won’t lie when I say that I was nervous yet excited to find out where he was taking me. Benedict, Colin, and Eloise all looked our way then at their mother, and I could tell that they had connected the dots. It was a good thing that Lady Bridgerton found her happy place with alcohol, otherwise she would’ve stopped Anthony in his tracks.

We eventually reach our destination, which so happens to be one of countless rooms that was conveniently far away for anyone to hear. Don’t tell me... “Anthony, what are we doing over here? Shouldn’t we be with all those people, and dancing the night away?”

No answer from my captor. He seemed to be in deep thought, and I scoffed in disbelief. I most certainly did not want to spend the rest of my time on my friend, especially when he wouldn’t tell me why he brought me here. “Look, I came to this ball to find a suitor. If you won’t answer me, then—“

Before I knew it, his lips were on mine. The hand that was once squeezing my waist found its rightful place, and the other gently brushed my hair back. I fluttered my eyes closed, letting myself melt in his embrace as we kissed with a fiery passion I knew that had always been between us.

A few moments later, he pulled away then buried his face into the crook of my neck. I felt him inhale then exhale, as though he was trying to control himself from doing something I hadn’t done before. “I want you, y/n. But only if you’ll allow me to court you. We have gone through thick and thin in our childhood, and I want nothing more to continue for the rest of our lives.”

The Viscount Anthony Bridgerton was asking for my consent to be courted, and I would be delusional to reject his confession. I’ve never seen him so sincere and vulnerable like this before, and it made me giggle. He must’ve thought that I was going to refuse his offer, but I snake my arms around his neck then kiss his soft lips for reassurance.

“I’ve never thought you would ask, Anthony. But this means no more secret meetings, alright? If I hear an inkling about you being where you’ve told me you wouldn’t be at, then I’m ending things. Am I clear, Bridgerton?” He swallows thickly and nods, so I’m rather grateful that my warning has gotten through.

I bring my hands to cup his face, and I now see how much he adores me the way he relaxes against my touch. Unfortunately, we’ve been gone for far too long, but I don’t doubt that he’ll come up with a reasonable excuse to his worrying mama.

Anthony kisses the top of my head before taking my hand and leading me back the way we came. I intertwine our fingers to which he brings up to his lips and kisses my knuckles. “It might be too soon to say this, but I absolutely and undoubtedly love you, y/n Willows. I promise to cherish you for as long as I am going to live.”

It takes a bit for me to absorb the sudden declaration, but I’m not complaining whatsoever. All that mattered was that we shared equal affection for one another, and we were willing to work for a bright, lovely lifestyle ahead of us. “And I wholeheartedly love you, Anthony Bridgerton. You are mine for eternity,”

Some might say that we were too inexperienced when it came to love, but we ignored their opinions. Like my mama used to tell me when I was a child, “Have a little faith.”

[piracytheorist]

Allen & Colin interview (pt. 2) summary and tidbits

Again, these are just the bits I found interesting and worth mentioning. I still tried to mention as much as possible, but the interview was one hour long, and I only did this on my own whim to share with the people who, for whatever reason, have no access to the interview. So it is what it is :P

Once again, I recommend supporting Allen on patreon if you can. Without him and the work he shares we wouldn’t have this in the first place. Plus he has lots of interesting podcasts too ;)

(starting off under the cut, I’m very tired right now and there will probably be a lot of mistakes here and stuff I forgot to mention, I’ll try to look it up better tomorrow but I wanted to share it as is now, knowing how not being part of that stuff can be a BIG itch. So y’know, if you want, check it up tomorrow too, lol, it may be better :P)

They started by talking about Colin's career after he graduated from drama school. Colin talked about how in drama school, compared to the "real world", it was like being in a bubble because of the limited number of actors in one’s specific school. So it was difficult getting out and realizing how much more competition there is out there, and how you'll audition for a part that you feel you're ideal for but still not take it a lot of the time. He talked about how early in an actor's career, if they don't get such a role, they may start wondering why the producers don't see what the actor has to offer, when later they realize it can be for any reason, including small ones like their eyes being the wrong colour.

(And I'm here like, how can anyone look at Colin's eyes and think they're "wrong" for anything???)

(joking aside, it was just an example he gave, but I found it fitting because THOSE DAMN EYES)

And he mentioned how, due to the tight schedule any production has, they don't have the time to tell to every single actor they rejected why they rejected them in the first place (he's so understanding about it too, despite how much such rejections could have cost him, I love him so much!), so they can either spend a lot of time wondering what they did wrong or just move on to the next project they can apply for.

"Yeah, you come out thinking that you're gonna be the next James Bond straightaway or whatever, do you know what I mean?" He talked about while school prepares actors a bit about the realities of the world, a lot of people still come out of drama school with very high expectations, and how often that happens. But sometimes it's just pure luck that very young actors get big roles in big productions.

A lot of understanding of the job comes with the experience, he says. Of course training is necessary, but it develops with practice. On that note, Allen asked him if he thought young Colin could handle working on a big production right after finishing college, and Colin said that he can't give a straight answer because while he had experience when working in The Rite, his first big film, he had lots of confidence when straight out of college... so it would also depend on how well the production did, like if it flopped, it would've been a hit to his confidence.

He talked about how his very first job after college was a theater play - also dark and heavy, it was centered around suicide - and they went on tour for it too. He then mentioned Home for Christmas, his first TV role. "It was a great role, it was a really dark, black comedy."

(baby actor Colin finding his place in the world <3)

One of his favourite memories from there was that the prop master had an oyster farm, so you know, instead of biscuits, he'd bring oysters to share with his coworkers. (XD)

He also talked about how different it was to learn to act for the camera instead of the theater, where with a camera you can be much more subtle, and you're not projecting to an immediate audience. He always wanted to do film and TV and he was watching films and such, so it wasn't hard for him to learn to "rein it in", as he referred to it.

The year after Home for Christmas was released, he won an IFTA award for Best New Talent - which wasn't just an acting category, it also included directing, screenwriting, etc. so it meant a lot to him, he hadn't expected to win that award.

He talks about how dark that film was and he sounds so excited about it. Never change, Colin <3

Allen remembers how when they all watched it together, Colin was very self-conscious about it being him on the TV, and Colin said (now) that it's still the same for him now. Like, it's still weird, from acting out emotions ("You don't look in the mirror when you're crying") to the most mundane things like walking ("You don't see the way that you walk"), so even now it makes him self-conscious to watch himself.

Then Allen said about how he couldn't attend the award ceremony, but was waiting on news about it all day and as soon as he learned Colin won he tried to get there as fast as he could. What a proud and supportive bro.

Colin talked how he was in such a high after college, but then due to not getting a job for a long time the toll it had on him and his confidence was very big, especially considering how much more confident he was before. During that time, he was playing with The Enemies as his day job, and he is very grateful to "the lads" for giving him the flexibility to not play for a couple of days if he needed to be elsewhere to have an audition or something. But still he felt fulfilled with playing in the band, making music with it meant a lot to him. He misses playing with them.

At the time the whole "sending out a video auditioning for a role" wasn't a thing yet, especially the way it is nowadays, so Colin had to go to Dublin and London a lot to audition for stuff.

His first agency, before even starting college, was a modelling agency. "We never modeled [laughs]." He clarified that it was mostly because that agency also did commercials and stuff, so it was a way for him to get into acting and make some money before starting college. Through that he auditioned for an anti-bullying video (if I got that right) and the casting directors connected him with an agent in Dublin. He continued with his acting course though, so he already had an agent when he finished college.

His work in theater after that allowed him to hone his craft and work with bigger and more experienced actors, so he kept contact until he worked in The Tudors, where a casting director in the US saw him in. She contacted Colin about connecting him to agents there, and though at the time most of his savings would be going for his wedding that summer, he and Helen decided that he could invest in going to the US and take the opportunity. Six months later, he was on the set for The Rite, opposite Anthony Hopkins. "It was a surreal thing." He talked about how nervous he was for the first read-through with Hopkins, but on that first meeting Hopkins told him "Hello Colin, nice to meet you. Let's just have fun" and it immediately helped him relax and focus.

They originally wanted a big name for Michael Kovak, saying that even though they wanted Colin, the studio might ask for a big name, but once they got Hopkins in for Father Lucas, Colin got it.

(And I just... you know, I find this quite important. Like, it wasn't a common-courtesy promise of the type "Leave your contact info and we'll let you know if you get the role", it was a legit "We want you but the studio makes the final decision", and once the studio had their big name, the casting directors went through with their word.)

He had faced a lot of rejection by that point, so he said that he was very close to giving up before he got cast for The Rite. He still remembers the day he got the call confirming to him that he got the role, and again, how Allen rushed to him to celebrate.

{Ahhh they're adorable, I love getting that glimpse into their relationship :)

Allen mentions how different it is for actors, when they have to deal with a lot of rejection, when that doesn't happen on a regular basis with a lot of other careers. Colin said how one of the most frustrating parts about that is not that you don't get the job, but that you get the feeling that people can't see what you have to offer. And again, they talked about how due to the tight schedule directors can't provide constructive criticism on what went wrong in the audition.

He doesn't consider one thing factoring to his persistence to acting; it felt right for him, but the support from his family had also a big impact.

So much about The Rite was a new thing for him, like even the fact that he had about 3 months to prepare for the role - he even boxed during that time because the description for the role talked about a guy who was boxing all his life - to going to Rome and being part of such a big production was so big but also inspirational for him. Also getting to see posters of the film in places like Times Square or Los Angeles, and having people send him pictures of posters of the film was so wild for him. "It's one of those things where you can't think about it too much, you just sort of hop on and enjoy the ride."

(WHAT A PURE BEAN T_T)

He talked about being introverted and how acting allowed him to put on a facade. When he first went to LA, it not only was a different cultural experience, but also with how it was the thing of going to the right parties and talking to the right people, and Colin said "That's not me." And being a true introvert, he said "I'd rather sit in the corner until I have to go home. I can't go up to some random stranger that I don't know and introduce myself and start telling him how great I am and why they should put me in their movie."

He talked about being considered for a series of big films but he eventually didn't get the role, and I now wonder which one it could be. He said how the directors were interested in changing the character up a bit to make him Irish, so I don't think he meant Superman, for whom he was a contestant at the time...

He then mentioned doing the Pilot for Identity, the show that ABC didn't pick up, then doing Storage 24, then getting hired on OUAT, and how big of a commitment that was, since he had to move to Vancouver, away from his friends and family aside from Helen, who went with him, and sign a contract for six years where it was basically a huge part of his life.

Even though he loved Vancouver, going there was like completely starting over, since he had no support system set before he went. But he was glad for the people who helped him during this change in his life, and even without factoring in what impact working on OUAT had on his career, it was still a very positive experience for him.

Working on OUAT was different especially since he entered a show that was already a hit. Due to his young age he'd never expected he'd play Captain Hook. It was unexpected, but it gave him the job security to have a family, and after working so long he bonded with the cast and crew and felt them as family too (no, he didn't mention any names), especially with people who, like him, had relocated and didn't have that support system set.

(And that gave me the feeling of how it was like when I was studying, when I made many friends who, like me, had left their parents' home to go to a brand new place where they didn't know anyone and made a new start. And that kinda feeling helps you bond deeper with them.)

He talked about how tough it was for him on the first conventions he attended, like, getting up on the stage and answering questions about himself. He became more comfortable, though, when he realized that the actors weren't the central theme of conventions, but rather the feeling of community among the fans. He loves seeing people who even now discover the show and love it.

He talked about how playing in Dolly Parton's Heartstrings helped him "shake off" Hook after having played him for so long, and then being able to jump to The Right Stuff, which was also a commitment (unlike Heartstrings, which was one standalone episode). He's very proud of his work there, he loved the cast and the story, how for those characters going to space was so brand new and unsure whether they'd survive. He's so excited for it to come out, and for people and him to see it.

He concludes by saying he feels good with his career, that the periods of uncertainty and not working prepared him for his future. He feels content, though still ambitious for roles he wants to play but he feels he's given his best self.

He feels so humbled and blessed for his fans that watch his stuff and hopes they'll enjoy his future works.

(We will! :D)

[paradoxicalca]

(OC) Moneyballing the Ottawa Senators (An Alternate Reality)

CW: analytics/fancy stats/the devil's numbers/whatever you call themIt's April 2019. Eugene Melnyk comes to Pierre Dorion and says "look man, I really need playoff revenue or I'm gonna be in a lot of trouble with some... investments I've made. I need you to make the playoffs this year but I am not willing to spend more than 48 million dollars in salary. I don't care about paying people not to play for us as long as we're not over that number."Dorion panics, and then remembers a movie he watched on the 6-inch screen DVD player in the Senators' team bus: Moneyball.He realizes that the city of Ottawa has a small army of analytics guys waiting by their phones for a job and hires two of them at $20,000 each to spend the summer putting together a team for him that fulfils this impossible requirement. Occasionally he peeks in and asks if there's anything he can help with but they quickly start locking their office door.The job: bringing in cheap analytics darlings in free agency or through trades. Doesn't matter if it doesn't look pretty, if the players are slow, or whatever. If their WAR is good and they drive possession, bring 'em in. It can't be any worse than what they'd put on the ice otherwise.2018-19 Roster:Tkachuk - Tierney - RyanBoedker - Pageau - WhiteDuclair - Smith - VeronneauBalcers - Brown - BathersonChabot - DeMeloBorowiecki - CeciWolanin - JarosAndersonNilsson (UFA)This is the worst roster in the NHL. Holes all over the lineup, an aging sub-replacement goalie, and a lot of negative impact players in there. There's a lot of excavating to do. Sens resign Duclair and let Nilsson go to UFA. Time to do some trading and buyouts before free agency hits.Trade #1OTT trades: JG Pageau, RFA rights to Cody CeciEDM: Sam Gagner, Matt Benning, 2020 2nd, 2021 3rd(Pageau isn't exactly beloved by analytics adherents, and White and Brown need the ice. Benning, much maligned by Oilers fans and never trusted by his coaches, is a decently strong possession player with a solid WAR of 1.8. Ceci is Ceci and the Oil think they can change this bad boy RD. Gagner is a dump)Trade #2OTT trades: 2020 3rdPIT trades: Dominik Simon, Jack Johnson(Pens are feeling pretty hot. They dump the Johnson contract without retaining salary all for the price of a slow skater who scored 8 goals playing with Sid AND get a draft pick? But any analytics fans knows that Simon is a bona fide fancy stats stud, especially defensively, and at $700,000 that's a hell of a deal)Trade #3OTT trades: 2019 4thNAS trades: Frederick Gaudreau(Preds front office is bewildered by this. Why would the Sens offer a pick for a guy who plays 9 minutes a night for us who they'll probably have to waive anyway? We have Duchene coming in and plenty of centres. Why not? But Gaudreau's #fancystats say he's a big time shot suppressor.)June 15: Buyout day.Senators buy out Jack Johnson ($1.02M for 8 years, cash savings of $4.08M) and Sam Gagner ($1.03 for 2 years, cash savings of $1.03)July 1st:This is a big day for the computer boys. They can't afford to chase the big fish but they have some names in mind. Unfortunately, people don't really want to play in Ottawa, so they'll have to offer extra to get them to come on the squad.Signing #1 - Senators sign RW Brandon Pirri for 2 years at $1.75M(Brandon Pirri has bewildered analytics people for years with his brilliant numbers and lack of any opportunity. Pirri's agent is shocked by this offer, considering he was planning on accepting Vegas' league minimum offer.)Signing #2 - Senators sign RD Jordie Benn for 2 years at $3M(Perpetually underrated, Benn is the thinking man's Ron Hainsey. The Sens up the Canucks' offer by 1M per year and promise him a top-pairing role with Thomas Chabot)Signing #3 - Senators sign RW Jason Pominville for 1 year at $2.5M(Leadership is important, but so is dominating possession. It hasn't been pretty, but the numbers suggest that this slow vet has been tilting the ice the past 2 seasons. He'll fit just fine in that bottom 6.)Signing #4 - Senators sign LW Tyler Ennis for 1 year at $0.8M(Made sense IRL, makes sense here.)Signing #5 - Senators sign G Robin Lehner for 2 years at $6M(This is the big one. Sens bring back their former big goalie prospect to start in front of Craig Anderson. They add an extra year and $1M per compared to Chicago and promise him not to ask him any questions about the weird Trump thing)The day is done. The Sens have a full lineup, with young talent in the minors ready to go. They complete the trade with the Lightning to get Ryan Callahan and hit the cap.Their lineup is the following (WAR numbers from EvolvingWild)Brady Tkachuk - Chris Tierney - Dominik Simon (WAR: +6.7)Anthony Duclair - Logan Brown - Brandon Pirri (WAR: +2.9)Tyler Ennis - Colin White - Jason Pominville (WAR: +3.4)Rudolfs Balcers - Frederik Gaudreau - Drake Batherson (WAR: +1.9)Zack SmithThomas Chabot - Jordie Benn (WAR +5.9)Christian Wolanin - Dylan DeMelo (WAR +6.6)Erik Brannstrom - Matt Benning (WAR +1.2)Matt BorowieckiRobin LehnerCraig Anderson (WAR +7.5)The cost of this roster: $46.6 million dollars (or 1.6 less than IRL), and over the cap floor with LTIR. Bobby Ryan and Mikkel Boedker are buried.It may not look special, but ChartingHockey and EvolvingWild's WAR Projection Model has this team winning the Eastern Conference with 117 points. Our computer boys, being humble, recognize that this is somewhat unlikely. But these are guys who have been dying for a chance to prove themselves (Pirri), proving they've still got it (Ennis and Pominville), and know they belong in an NHL lineup every night (Gaudreau, Benning). Sound familiar?Maybe this crazy group of misfits wouldn't put it together, maybe the old time hockey boys are right and you can't use analytics to win hockey games.Or maybe there would be a 45 minute (traffic permitting) Stanley Cup parade from Canadian Tire Centre to Ottawa, and Pirri and Pominville would chug President's Choice Cervezas™ through the sunroof of a rented 2009 Ford Focus with the rest of the fellas.We'll never know. (OC) Moneyballing the Ottawa Senators (An Alternate Reality) Source

[thrashermaxey]

Lining Up: Guentzel on Fire; Barzal Producing – January 8

  Are you tired of losing matchups in fantasy hockey? Frustrated with the trash talk from your fellow GMs who clearly aren’t as talented as you? Ready to put an end to those sleepless nights and turn your season around? Well, do I have something for you! Dobber’s midseason guide is the industry’s leading resource in navigating fantasy hockey managers through the rest of the season. Whether you need to evaluate a trade or are looking for players who will produce in the second half of the season, Dobber’s midseason guide is the guide for you! Users of this product have seen an increase in dopamine levels and have reported increased feelings of happiness! What are you waiting for? Get yours today!

  #

Team

Line

Points

1

Calgary

Johnny Gaudreau – Sean Monahan – Elias Lindholm

29

2

Tampa Bay

Tyler Johnson – Brayden Point – Nikita Kucherov

22

3

Columbus

Artemi Panarin – Pierre-Luc Dubois – Cam Atkinson

20

4

Pittsburgh

Jake Guentzel – Sidney Crosby – Bryan Rust

19

5

Buffalo

Jeff Skinner – Jack Eichel – Jason Pominville

16

6

Islanders

Anthony Beauvillier – Mathew Barzal – Josh Bailey

14

7

Minnesota

Zach Parise – Charlie Coyle – Luke Kunin

14

8

Toronto

Andreas Johnsson – John Tavares – Mitchell Marner

13

9

Winnipeg

Nikolaj Ehlers – Mark Scheifele – Blake Wheeler

13

10

Colorado

Gabriel Landeskog – Nathan MacKinnon – Mikko Rantanen

12

11

Montreal

Tomas Tatar – Phillip Danault – Brendan Gallagher

12

12

New Jersery

Taylor Hall – Nico Hischier – Kyle Palmieri

12

13

Chicago

Dylan Strome – Artem Anisimov – Patrick Kane

11

14

Florida

Jonathan Huberdeau – Aleksander Barkov – Evgenii Dadonov

11

15

Ottawa

Brady Tkachuk – Colin White – Mark Stone

11

16

Vegas

Brandon Pirri – Paul Stastny – Alex Tuch

10

17

Dallas

Jamie Benn – Tyler Seguin – Alexander Radulov

9

18

Edmonton

Zack Kassian – Connor McDavid – Leon Draisaitl

9

19

San Jose

Timo Meier – Logan Couture – Lukas Radil

9

20

St. Louis

David Perron – Ryan O'Reilly – Alexander Steen

9

21

Boston

Brad Marchand – Patrice Bergeron – David Pastrnak

8

22

Los Angeles

Alex Iafallo – Anze Kopitar – Dustin Brown

8

23

Rangers

Chris Kreider – Mika Zibanejad – Jesper Fast

8

24

Washington

Jakub Vrana – Evgeny Kuznetsov – Tom Wilson

8

25

Nashville

Ryan Hartman – Ryan Johansen – Viktor Arvidsson

7

26

Anaheim

Ondrej Kase – Adam Henrique – Nick Ritchie

6

27

Arizona

Richard Panik – Derek Stepan – Clayton Keller

5

28

Carolina

Brock McGinn – Sebastian Aho – Teuvo Teravainen

5

29

Detroit

Tyler Bertuzzi – Frans Nielsen – Thomas Vanek

5

30

Vancouver

Nikolay Goldobin – Elias Pettersson – Brock Boeser

5

31

Philadelphia

Jakub Voracek – Sean Couturier – Wayne Simmonds

4

                                                                      In this week’s instalment, we take a look at a couple of hot lines. Using Dobber’s Line Production Tool, we compared even-strength point production around the league over the past 10 games. I compiled a list of the highest scoring line for each team at even strength. Here’s the list…

  Jake Guentzel – Sidney Crosby – Bryan Rust

To the surprise of absolutely no one, Sidney Crosby is a good hockey player who makes his teammates better. While coach Mike Sullivan likes to throw different wingers out with Sid the Kid every now and then, Bryan Rust and Jake Guentzel have been his line mates most frequently this year. Although this line has been particularly hot in the last ten games, they also lead the team in even-strength production on the season. In terms of their advanced stats, there’s really not too much to get excited about. The Guentzel-Crosby-Rust line controls about 51% of shots taken, 50% of scoring chances and 49% of high-danger opportunities. Although most of those numbers hover around average, they’ve managed to outscore their opponents 15-5 at even strength.

Considering how hot he was in his rookie season (2016-2017), Jake Guentzel disappointed many with his 48-point sophomore campaign (2017-2018).  This year, he’s on pace for 74 points! While he didn’t have the best start to 2018-2019, he has put up 26 points in his last 24 games. In those 26 games, he’s only been seeing about a minute on the power-play – which makes his numbers all the more impressive. With that being said, it’s hard to get too excited about Guentzel’s production for the rest of the season while his power-play time is limited. By no means am I saying he’s suddenly going to stop scoring, but I expect him to put up fewer points in the second half of the season than he did in the first. The 24-year-old is currently scoring on 17% of his shots, which seems a little bit high, but he’s also proven to be an efficient shooter so far in his young career.

Sidney Crosby play good hockey. Sidney Crosby score 19 point in last 12 game. Sidney Crosby on pace for 107-point season! Sidney Crosby capable of anything. Sidney Crosby play good hockey.

Bryan Rust holds fantasy value as long as he’s skating beside Sidney Crosby. Although his 19 points in 41 games don’t seem impressive, he recently had a seven-game hot streak in which he tallied 11 points (eight of which were goals). While his 14 minutes of ice-time (none of which are on the PP) don’t justify a spot on your roster, he certainly makes for a good streaming option amidst a scoring streak. In this last half of the season, I’m expecting about 20 points from him, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he put up 25.

    Anthony Beauvillier – Mathew Barzal – Josh Bailey

If you expected the Islanders to be this good after John Tavares’s departure, please raise your hand. You’ll notice everyone with their hand up also has their pants on fire, because they’re lying. In all seriousness, I’m really surprised the Isles weren’t more negatively affected by the loss of Tavares. Not only have coach Barry Trotz and his strong defensive system improved the team’s ability to keep pucks out of the net, but they’re actually scoring too! I’m not ashamed to admit I was one of the haters that doubted Mathew Barzal. Sure, I knew the ‘kid’ was extremely talented after his rookie campaign and was going to take the league by storm in the coming years. But in his sophomore season? A season in which he’d be drawing tougher matchups without JT to shelter his minutes? Yeah, I never would have guessed that halfway through the year Barzal would have 38 points in 40 games. What else do you need to know about Barzal? Well, his shooting percentage is sustainable, he’s seeing about a minute more of ice time than last season, and he’s shooting the puck more than last season. He’s already a superstar in this league and will continue to be one for many years.

Anthony Beauvillier isn’t quite where we expected him to be in terms of production, but I think his second half of the season will be better than his first. While he was averaging 13 minutes of ice-time in his first 18 games, he’s been averaging 16 minutes in his last 21 games. Hopefully this upward trend continues as the team makes a push for the playoffs. It’s interesting to see that he has just one power-play point halfway through the 2018-2019 campaign. Last year he had eight through a full season and was seeing less time on the PP. He should start getting more points with the man advantage, which will boost his production going forward. Beauvillier is also shooting the puck more than last year, which should lead to good things if he keeps it up. Remember, he’s just 21 years old and this is his third season in the NHL. Some young guns need more time to develop than others. Whatever the case, I’d keep an eye on his production going forward as he might make a sneaky addition down the stretch.

Josh Bailey tallied 71 points in 75 games last season, a feat not many thought he would replicate this year. While he may not be able to score at quite that pace, he has managed 31 points in 40 games and is on track for a 64-point campaign. That production drop might be a result of the Islanders’ struggles with the man advantage. Last year, they were capitalizing on about 23% of their power-play opportunities. This year, their success rate sits slightly above 16%. Bailey had 31 points on the PP in 2017-2018 and is on pace for just 20 this season. This may be one area where the miss John Tavares, but they definitely have the talent to be more successful on the power-play. Keep an eye on this as the season progresses.

The advanced stats seem to consider this line above average. They control about 52% of shots, 55% of scoring chances, and 52% of high-danger opportunities while they’re on the ice.

    from All About Sports https://dobberhockey.com/hockey-home/nhl-line-combinations/lining-up-guentzel-on-fire-barzal-producing-january-8/