#i bet bayek can wiggle his ears

[budugaapologist]

as someone that can wiggle their ears, their nose, move their nostrils independently, and really fuck with my eyebrows i really wanna know if any of the assassins can also do this. like "oh kassandra you're so beautiful" "you havent seen nothin yet" and then she proceeds to move her nose rapidly

[storytimefromthecreed]

I’ll Make a Man Out of You

“What are they doing?” Kassandra asked. Maria handed her a glass of lemonade just as Elise pulled out a seat. “Is there a battle? Should we not join?”

Before Maria could reply, Elise leaned over to rest her chin on Kassandra’s shoulder and said, “Oh, trust me, you’re going to want to see this.”

In the backyard stood the guys. Darim, Sef, Tazim, Yusuf, Jacob, Edward, Haytham, Altair, Shay, and Liam. Connor walked to and fro before them, like a lion in a cage, and he examined them closely, “Let’s get down to business, to defeat, the Huns. Did they send me daughters when I asked for sons?”

“He wishes.” Shao Jun sipped on her drink, and the table laughed. Around the table where Maria, Kassandra, Elise, Aveline, Malik, Shao Jun, and Aya. 

As Connor walked, he looked each man up and down, catching their eye. “You're the saddest bunch I ever met.” Then he began nodding ominously, “But you can bet before we're through. Mister, I'll make a man out of you.” Heading for the center of the backyard, he turned around and placed his hands up, palming touching. Then, slowly raising one foot and keeping it at his knee, Connor continued, “Tranquil as a forest, but on fire within. Once you find your center, you are sure to win.” The row of guys attempted, poorly, to copy his stance. Jacob wiggled, Yusuf sway side to side, and Edward kept his foot by his ankle. Spying their progress, Connor nodded and returned to his normal stance. “You're a spineless, pale, pathetic lot, and you haven't got a clue.”

Shay whispered to his side, “I’m scared. I don’t like how he said pale. Is he talking about me? Am I the weak link?”

“Shut up, Shay.” Sef cracked open an eye to glare at the Templar. He, Altair, and Darim were holding the pose to perfection.

“Somehow I'll make a man out of you.” Connor continued as if he’d heard nothing. The course in the backyard was made to test their limits, physically and mentally. A run to an agility course, climbing up a wall to monkey bars, crossing, and landing on the other side.

As they ran the course, Edward sang, “I'm never gonna catch my breath.”

Shay sang, “Say goodbye to those who knew me!”

Jacob huffed, closing his eyes are he ran, “Boy, was I a fool in school for cutting gym.”

Cupping her hand and raising from her chair, Aya yelled, “This guy's got 'em scared to death!”

And Yusuf tripped over the rope course, “Hope he doesn't see right through me.”

Leaping over the fallen Turk, Altair landed noiselessly to the second part of the training. Then froze when he saw the monkey bars were over the pool. “Now I really wish that I knew how to swim!”

Together they sang, “Be a man!”

Connor, watching their progress with a stony expression sang, “We must be swift as the coursing river!”

Without halting their stride, Darim and Sef leapt, their fingers gripping the bars, and crossed. “Be a man.”

Encouraged, Connor raised a hit, and sang, “With all the force of a great typhoon!”

Seeing that there was nothing to it, Liam and Haytham went next. Followed by Yusuf and Edward, Then, finally, Shay, Tazim, and Altair. Tazim and Shay took the monkey bars normally, but Altair deemed it safe to climb to over the bars and just ran across as to minimize his proximity to the water. “Be a man!”

“With all the strength of a raging fire, mysterious as the dark side of the moon!” Connor threw a fist in the air and jumped in excitement. “Time is racing toward us till the Huns arrive! Heed my every order and you might survive!” Jacob was the last to cross the bars, and landed right as Connor sang the last word. Perhaps it was because the area was crowded, or maybe his strength had given out at the last second. Whatever the reason, his toes landed on the other side of the pool but his heels didn’t. Falling into the water, Jacob splashed about. The shouts and groans of his teammates were mangled by the water in his ears. There was a large splash, and Jacob fought hard against the hand that wrapped around his arm. It was then that he realized he could stand in the pool. Staring up at Connor disapproving face, Jacob gulped. Connor pointed out of the pool, and Jacob nodded. “You're unsuited for the rage of war, so pack up, go home, you're through.” Jacob climbed out of the pool as Connor followed, dripping water everywhere and singing softly to himself, disappointed, “How could I make a man out of you?”

Head hanging low, Jacob slowly made his way across the backyard with hopes that lemonade and sandwiches would lift his heavy heart. That or Elise or Maria would give him a hug. The guys behind him finished the course and were celebrating. Then, his name was called. For a moment, his spirits raised. “Jacob!” Tazim raised a hand to wave. Then, Jacob’s mood fell as Tazim asked, “Can you toss the ball this way?”

Looking down to hide his frown, Jacob grabbed the volleyball and served it to Tazim. The ball spun in the air with a whizz, and smacked Tazim in the chest, nearly making him lose his grip on it. The backyard went silent as Connor stared. Then, the light returned to his eyes and he smiled, “Jacob, get over here!”

“Hurray!” The guys cheered as Jacob ran across the fields, arms out behind him like how he’d seen football players do. They clapped him on the back and they leapt up and down, singing in unison, “Be a man, we must be swift as the coursing river!” They ran the course again. This time, Edward, Shay, and Jacob were pushed by their brothers with words of encouragement!

“You got this! We’re so close!” Sef coached Shay.

“Come on! Can’t lose to me, Father!” Haytham chucked at his dad.

“Jacob! I believe in you!” Liam slowed down his pace to match Jacob’s.

“Be a man! With all the force of a great typhoon.”

As they reached the obstacle course, Altair coached Yusuf, “Watch your toes! Don’t let your heels hit the ground.”

“Keep light, keep light!” Edward, to show off, twisted and turned in front of his son like he was dancing. “You’re being too stiff, Haytham, have some fun, will ya?”

“Be a man! With all the strength of a raging fire! Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!”

Finally, the dreaded finale. Running without stop, Darim and Sef crossed as they had done before. Haytham and Edward followed, but before they reached the other side, they pulled themselves up as Altair had, and rested on the top. Yusuf instructed Jacob how to warm up his wrists, and Liam, as he crossed, showed Jacob how to use his momentum.  Quickly now, they all sang, “Be a man! We must be swift as the coursing river!” Jacob and Altair swung, and then preceded to cross!

“Jacob! We can do this! Together!” Altair called, hurrying.

Jacob nodded as his friends sang, “Be a man! With all the force of a great typhoon!” They were almost there. Altair landed, and his sons grabbed his forearms and pulled him towards them and safely away from the water. Now, Jacob had to do the same. His arms began to wobble, and his panic set in. This made his hands slippery, and Jacob crossed as quickly as he could.

He was nearly there, so nearly there! Crossing Edward and Haytham, hearing them cheer above them, Jacob wished he could do this, but he couldn’t! Tazim and Shay cheering on behind him, Jacob tried not to look at their faces as he was at the last bar and fell. The cool metal left his hands, and he waited for the cold water to submerge him once more.

However, he wasn’t prepared for this.

Strong arms grabbed his forearms, and Jacob opened his eyes to confirm that through the bars, Edward grabbed his left forearm, and Haytham was holding his right! Edward’s bright blue eyes stared down at him as he grinned, “Didn’t think we’d let you down again, did you?”

“Now, swing your legs!” Haytham tried to keep a straight face, but his smile twitched his lips. Being part of a team wasn’t as bad as he thought he would be.

Doing as they asked, Jacob swung. Once. Twice. The third time, he leapt. His feet hit the other side, and before he could wonder if he’d hit the pool once more, Darim and Sef grabbed him and pulled him to land. Shay and Tazim finished the course as the Kenways leapt from the bars.

Once the entire team was safe, the guys formed a large circle and began to cheer, hug, and jump! From the sidelines, the gals all melted. “Aw, ok, that was cute.” Shao Jun admitted.

“I’m just glad they’ve found some way to get their energy out without breaking the house.” Malik added, pretending not to enjoy the show. 

The backyard gate opened and in strolled the remaining members of the house. Upon looking at the scene behind them, Demetri rose a brow. “Tell me, did we miss their warm up?”

“I do wish they wouldn’t take team sports so seriously.” Aveline replied and Kassandra sat upright.

“Wait, this is for a game?” Kassandra asked and the table chuckled.

“Don’t say that in front of them.” Elise sipped her drink, “But yes.”

“I suppose now we must take our time defeating them.” Aya propped her cheek on her fist. Bayek took his place beside her and nodded.

“Can’t let all that team building all to waste. Ok ladies,” Maria rose and the table followed suit. Some cracked their necks, other rolled their wrists. “Let’s get in formation. Elise, you’re our setter?” Elise nodded. “Great, Aya, how are you spikes?”

“Between Shao Jun and I, those guys won’t know what hit them.”

“I’ll take back with Kassandra.” Aveline winked at Kassandra. “I’ve a wicked serve.”

“Then it’s settled.” Maria put her hand in the middle. They all followed suit. “Let’s teach the Brotherhood about the Sisterhood.”