#i bet they'd argue over who gets to cuddle me

[meetmymouth]

leave the door open...

The dishwasher makes a weird noise as Harry presses the button, and she lets out a sigh, wiping her hands on her joggers much to Harry's dismay. There's a few seconds where they just stare at each other, and he lets out a chuckle, turning behind so he can put the kettle on.

It'd only been six months.

Two months during him on tour that they'd been in a relationship, and four months post tour–and four weeks of living together in his London flat–. She knew him for a few years, having met in New York through mutual friends, including her short-term-girlfriend at the time, so living with him, or being with him hasn't been too different.

She loved it.

They both did, especially now that he was off tour.

They argued over silly things, like who would cook that night, or the temperature of the room, or how she forgets to unload the dishwasher– 'the light tells you when it's done, babe', 'well I don't come in the kitchen and look at the bloody dishwasher so excuse me for forgetting a couple of times, Harry'.

They've never been one of those couples who felt very shy around each other. Perhaps it's to do with the fact that they're both confident in their relationship, and the fact that they're very laid back.

After a night out with her girlfriends couple of weeks ago, she presents a new 'conflict' in their relationship: Farting.

She'd found him sitting in bed after coming in, glasses on as he typed away on his laptop. After a few kisses, cuddles, and a few more kisses, she looks up at him with determination in her eyes.

"What?"

"Why do you never fart around me?"

"What?" Harry had laughed. In fact, she had to wait for him to calm down for more than ten minutes.

Harry had continued, face confused but still chuckling. "Where is this coming from?"

"Michael farted after the third-month mark. So did Nick. And Jen."

"Baby, are you upset that I... don't fart?"

"I'm sure you do!" She'd waved her arms around. "But never around me, Harry. Are you embarassed? Are you not comfortable with me? What is it?"

"You're– baby," he'd held her hands to his chest. "I love you. I guess I just... don't really fart?"

"What?"

"I mean, I might've done it couple of times when we're asleep or rather... when you're asleep. I didn't– why have you never farted around me then, hm?"

And that was it.

They'd laugh about it, and it was over.

It was silly.

Now, though, Harry really enjoyed being 'nasty' around her.

He's such a boy when he farts in bed, under the covers, and threatens to lift up the covers since 'you wanted me to fart so bad'.

Another thing he's been doing lately is, leaving the door ajar when he's in the toilet.

Now, she wouldn't mind if he was just weeing.

Or doing something else– anything else other than... number two.

It's not that she minds it, it's... she's rather confused.

So, with the kettle on, she gets their favourite mugs out, and Harry excuses himself to go to the toilet.

She knows why, because she'd figured his toilet habits out by now.

Every night around this time, he would be in the toilet for about ten minutes.

He goes, not without kissing her on the lips, and she can't help but laugh when she doesn't hear the door shut properly.

Five minutes pass, and she looks at their empty mugs, wanting to pour the water when he's back.

She's about to call for him when he beats her to it.

"Baby?"

"Yeah?" She looks in the direction of the downstairs toilet, as if she would see him.

"I need toilet paper."

"Fuck sake, Harry–" she puts her phone down on the counter, and walks upstairs, and grabs a few before making her way downstairs.

She stops in front of the door.

"Helloooooo," Harry drawls. "I need to wipe my ass."

"Why do you leave the door open like that?" She thinks out loud.

Harry lets out a groan. "Baby give me the toilet paper."

"Ahh, bet it stinks in there, H."

"Come on."

She goes inside, and hands him one.

Can't help but laugh at the sight of him just sitting there, hair messy and forehead extra-shiny.

"Okay," she pauses.

"Okay... I'll wipe my ass now if you just... y'know?" Harry looks up at her.

She realises how vulnerable he is at the moment.

"I could easily punch your dick right now," she murmurs, leaning against the door, and it closes shut with a click.

"You're so– why would you even say that– baby I fucking need to wipe my ass, just leave."

"No, I think this," she lets out a laugh when she notices him opening the toilet paper. "This is a level up in our relationship! I've never been inside the toilet while you poo."

"Farting and now pooing, you're so fucking weird. Okay, I'll–"

They just stare at each other for a moment before Harry lets out a sigh.

"I don't know how to do– please don't look."

"You've never wiped your ass?"

"Babe, what the fuck, of course I have," Harry says, through gritted teeth. "Just never in front of an audience!"

"Why do you leave the door ajar, then, you twat!"

"It makes me feel less lonely when I can properly hear you do things around the flat, for fuck's sake, just–" he moves his hand. "Just don't look."

She laughs, feeling a bit sorry for him. "Okay, I'm sorry, wait– I'll leave. I'm really sorry, I now realise this is... weird," she laughs, and turns around, hand on the door handle.

"No– don't leave."

"What?"

"Ah, fuck, we're so disgusting as a couple," he laughs.

She leans against the door, but her eyes are focused on the tiles.

She waits until she hears the flush.

"I can't believe you wanted to watch me wipe my ass," Harry finds her gaze in the mirror.

"It's not– wow, that sounds so creepy, please don't ever say that. I didn't want to watch you–" she shudders visibly. "Please don't say that, wow."

"Creepy?" He laughs, wiping his hands before he turns to her, and grabs her cheeks, smushing them. "Disgusting more like."

"Okay, please don't kiss me– you just done a huge poo and it's very stuffy in here–"

"Oh, fuck off, get out!"

[autumnwritcs]

Andy & Ares

based:  headcanons meme: dating edition!!

where they first met and how: club where Andy works at, precisely serving him a drink

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved: I think it last a while

who fell for who first ( if applicable ): you bet andy fell first

where their first date was and what it was like: I imagine andy will take him to her favorite park for a picnic

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? ) while not go out officially, ares did ask her out first

who proposes first: who even knows if there's going to be proposal

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away: when they're finally a "thing" andy will definitely show him off, I mean, who wouldn't

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? ): TBA lol

if they adopt any pets together: yes, a cat bc andy always wanted one of her own

who’s more dominant: ares

where their first kiss was and what it was like: we'll see!

if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? ): When they are andy will definitely get couple stuff but mostly a fun stuff like tshirts with funny phrases

how into pda they are: quite a lot on Andy's side (so suck it up ares)

who holds the umbrella when it rains: andy, she likes

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable ): maybe not dates per se but they'd be at the club maybe

who’s more protective: ares

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ ): a couple days since they first met

if they argue about anything: don't think they argue, it's more like they banter over stuff

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. ): andy, she always has her nails done so there'll be lots of scratch marks

who steals whose clothes and how often: none

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? ): spooning

what their favourite nonsexual activity is: going out, andy likes to show him all places

how long they stay mad at each other: TBA for now lol

what their usual coffee / tea orders are: andy likes lattes, I imagine ares likes black

if they ever have any children together: can't wait fo baby Andreas to be here

if they have any special pet names for each other: nah, full names

if they ever split up and / or get back together: they might

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? ): when they share a place andy will want it to be luminous, with vibrant colors and lots of plants, kinda messy because yeah, andy leaves stuff everywhere. Girl's never had a garden so she definitely wants one

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like: tba but for sure there'll be lots of explanations to ares about christmas traditions and stuff lol

what their names are in each other’s phones: ares and andressa

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? ): not yet

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first: Andy passes out and wakes up first bc of work

who’s the big spoon / little spoon: they take turns

who hogs the bathroom: andy

who kills the spiders / takes them outside: ares, not that andy can't do it but she's done it for too long and likes having someone who takes care of it for a change.