citrineghost · 1 year ago
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I think about this a lot...
I just want you all to know, even if you don't see any people in your area with pronoun pins or bright, queer clothing, or with clockable traits, there's a very good chance you're surrounded by queer people who are blending in with the cishets. You're not alone.
Ever since I've started passing, I've had this repeated thought... I'll be in a public place and I'll see someone who's almost definitely queer, and it makes my day, but then I wonder, do they see me? Do they know I'm here? Do they understand that I'm one of them?
To be passing is what a lot of trans people see as the end goal, but, if you're not trying to be stealth but simply not going out of your way to display that you're queer, it can come with a profound sense of sudden exclusion - like you're too passing to count anymore, or like you'll be unrecognizable to your queer siblings
So, for everyone's benefit, I just want to say, remember that there are those of us who don't stand out. Don't assume every person that you don't clock as trans is cis. Don't assume every person that you don't clock as gay is straight. We speak out against cisheteronormativity, but to protect ourselves and remain in the safe bubble of those we expect to be safe for ourselves, we are often times perpetuating it
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fivesoskingdom · 6 years ago
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"Kill him." gang!Ashton (Golden Star Fanfic)
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A/N: Knock knock knock. Someone's there? Guess who is finally free from college?? This bitch. Hell yeah. Well, actually I'm free for 20 days now, but I was on my break, OK? Let me be happy. But now I'm back. I'm back and ready to spam you guys with chapters. Until December 31th I'll be posting as much as I can, maybe a chapter a day, maybe one chapter each other day, I'll just write the stuff and post here, doesn't matter the 30 notes, I'm doing it for you guys who waited for this and kept sending me asks about it. Welcome back. I hope you like it. (But I'll still be happy with comments and asks and likes and reblog, jfk)
Summary: Its opening day! After being locked at the building for so long, you're finally out for some fun with the guys. But being part of a gang never lets you have fun the way you like and sometimes you end up in danger.
T.W: THIS CHAPTER MENTIONS RAPE. IT'S NOTHING TOO EXPLICIT, BUT PLEASE BE AWARE AND CAREFUL. Thank you.
You can find the previous parts here
~
It was a saturday night and for the first time in forever everyone was on the building, you could hear people talking and in a very strange way the place seemed alive, almost like something you could call home. You got into the kitchen to find the guys all dressed up, looking even better than usual.
"Why are you on your pj's in a Saturday night?" Luke raised one eyebrow looking at you. "We said we were going out today."
"Not to me." you shook your head, denying and making all the boys look at each with judgmental faces. "But that's OK, you guys can go and have fun, I'll be here catching up on Modern Family."
"Seriously, that's how you want to spend your night?" Calum looks at you, you just shrug again, waving your hand on his direction before going to the fridge to get some cake. "Let's go, you need some distraction."
"You sure?" you raise one eyebrow looking at him, but he didn't respond, just held your wrist taking you to your bedroom. You had showered minutes before since you were getting ready to bed, so you just changed your clothes for something you thought it would be suitable for whenever they were going and a make up a little more fancy that you're used to. You got downstairs finding them talking to some partners who would be taking care of the building while everyone was out and you just blushed when the nine men looked at you with widen eyes. "What?" you asked, but no one dared to say a thing. After almost ten minutes the five of you divided between three cars, you choose to go with Calum, since he was the one who actually invited you.
"You look great." he said glancing at you, but looking to the streets.
"Thank you." you smiled, blushing a little. It was the first time in forever that you had received a compliment, you didn't even noticed how much time you spent locked out of the world. "Gosh, I feel like it has a life time that I don't see the world."
"Months, I would say." Calum looked at you. "You really need to go out more, being all the time in the building isn't good for you, believe me. And you're getting pale, you need some sun, you know."
"Yeah, I know. I just don't have anywhere to go, anyone to see. God, I just vanish from existence of everyone in my life, I don't know how there's not a bunch of people looking around for me. How everyone just believed when I said that I needed some time?"
"You didn't really gave them any other option." he chuckled and you needed to agree. After a couple of minutes you discovered that they were going to a club almost out of town, the place was huge, lights all over with a big yellow neon sign shining and getting all the attention. Wonderland. The line outside was almost infinite, you couldn't count how many people were there.
"Wow. This is huge." you said when all the cars were parked, the four men around you while walking across the street to get in. "And this line? Fuck."
"Night, Mr Irwin. Mr Clifford. Mr Hemmings. Mr Hood." the man at the door said and there was when it hit you.
"This place is yours."
"Today is the open day." Luke said with a smile on his face, inside, the place was completely empty apart from the staff. Looking at the ceiling you could see that it had, at least, three floors, so high that you couldn't really see the end of it, since it was so dark." Everything's ready?" you heard him ask, changing your look to the blonde guy, you saw him talking to a woman from the staff, she nodded, she was dressed all in white and gold, just like the rest of the people there.
"I'll get a drink." you said starting to walk to the bar.
"Let me." Calum said going with you. The bartender looked at both of you with a sweet smile. "Shane, take care of her. She can have anything." he pointed to you, a bit of power crossed your body, making you smile when Shane smile at you, nodding.
Wonderland was crowded, the music was blasting from the speakers, the DJ didn't let people stop for a second. You had be dancing for the longest time, a guy who said that his name was Daniel were with you all the time, his body glued to yours while you two dancing in the middle of the dance floor. If you looked around you could see the partners, they were all over the place, some taking care of security, some doing business that you rather don't wonder what exactly, some looking at you. They guys were long gone, you didn't saw any of them anymore after people started to come in, but you just figured out that they must had been doing his business as well or at least having their own fun. That didn't bother you, actually, it was good to know that at least for some hours you wasn't a problem to them, they could just let go and live their lives without having to keep an eye on you all the time. Daniel was fun, when he kissed you was like your body were on fire, he knew exactly what he was doing and you loved it. It was good to be finally with someone again, even if it was just some kissing.
Daniel convinced you to go somewhere with less people and giving the time you spend on the dance floor it wasn't exactly a bad idea. You two got into a hallway, the suddenly light made you squeeze your eyes while giggling, the boy's hands were all over your body, trying to find a way to get under your clothes, but having a hard time since it was way too tight.
"Easy, pretty boy." you laughed, trying to hold his hands while opening a door from some room you really didn't knew what had inside.
"You look good in this clothes, but would look better without them." his breath on your neck made you shiver, the smile never leaving your face. It was clearly an office, soon you were making out on a big black sofa, you two laying down with him over you while his hands were all over your body. He manged to open the button of your pants, making your eyes get widen.
"Daniel, hold on." you try to hold his wrist, but he just hold both your hands on your back while trying to get his free hand inside your pants. "Daniel!"
"Those pants are too tight. Got me wondering if your pussy is tight as well." he finds his way to your underwear, making your heart race.
"Daniel, let me go." you try to get out of his hands, but it's like he's not even listening to you since he keeps talking obscenities on your ear. You try to kick him, but his body is so close to yours that you can't move, remembering the little stuff Calum had teach you about self defense, you try to hit his head with yours, but you miss it and the move along with the alcohol just makes you feel dizzy and ready to puke, with your hands held by him you can't get the necklace to call the boys and even if you could, they would only know that you were in danger somewhere in the building. Would help. "Fucking shit, let me go!" you close your eyes, trying to go away of the pain of his fingers on you while trying to think how get to the little star. Suddenly his weight is gone, making you ffinally breathe before opening your eyes just to see a big figure in front of him, ready to punch him in the face. You try to get up as fast as you can, reaching the person just to see Michael. If usually his has a blank expression, in that moment it looked like he wasn't even human. He punched Daniel for the first time, making him go down, but Daniel didn't run away, he actually punched Michael back. You knew that if you didn't stop that, things would be out of control. "Michael, stop!" you scream, but he doesn't listen to you, hitting Daniel again. Taking advantage of the fact that they split up for a second, you got in the middle of them, looking to the member of the Golden Star in the eyes and letting both of your hands on his chest, before talking again. "Mike, stop." it was like he came back to himself, a little flame of humanity coming across his face. "Throw him out, but it's enough."
"What the fuck?" you hear Daniel say. "You know this guy?"
"Daniel, get out of here." you say between teeth looking at him, but not taking your hands out of Michael. "Now."
"Oh, I get it. He's your boyfriend. You're just another whore who loves a criminal." he crossed his arms, a smirk on his face with his nose bleeding. You feel Michael take a deep breath like an angry bull and you look back to him.
"No, I get it." you say.
"Is him your pimp?" Daniel says again. "You know, you don't even worth this much, not that hot." you need to actually use force to keep Michael on his place, somehow getting some control. "Doesn't matter, you will end up dead in dome dark alley anyway. I'll have you then."
"Kill him." You mutter to Michael, taking off your hands of his chest, it didn't take more than two seconds before you heard the crack of a broke bone, looking behind you to see Michael letting Daniel's head go, his body going directly to the ground, his neck twisted." Son of a bitch." you say again in a whisper.
"Are you OK?" you hear Michael say, looking at you now with his usual blank stare. You just nod and he comes closer. "Are you sure?"
"I'm, just get rid of him before anyone else sees it." you say closing your pants button, Michael just nod, going back to the body exactly when Calum comes down the hallway, looking mad.
"What the fuck, Michael?" he almost screamed. "It's opening day and you're already killing people?"
"He tried to rape her." Michael said, annoyed, pointing to you while getting Daniel's body on his arms, Calum finally acknowledged your presence.
"He what?" he looks at you, his eyes in a mix of anger, madness and concern. "Are you OK?" you just nod again. "Are you sure?" with another nod he seems convinced, turning back to Michael. "Get out of here." he opens one of the doors showing the street, a dark alley full of trashcan, Michael let Daniel's get to one of them, the biggest one, and for some reason you know that that one is specifically for that. "I'll call someone to take care of this. You" he points to you. "Go to the office and talk to Ashton. You," he points to Michael "go with her, but please don't kill anyone else on your way." you both nod, Michael rolling his eyes before getting you to the office.
~
Tagged babes: @betkaskarpetka @songforhema @booklove-2 @tremendously-sassy-c-dizzle @neralondon @xoxellie @mysteriouslycali @pretty-in-black-things @beautifulplacesforhappines
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