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#i can't tell if i'm overthinking it
floweringpopcat · 5 months
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coming to the conclusion that people in my speech class are either transphobic or wary of the speech i chose and i'm leaning towards the former
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i-heart-hxh · 8 months
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So, after @subdee's excellent post about doubt regarding the Phantom Troupe's alleged slaughter of the Kurta Clan, I was staring at this image and thinking about Sheila's terribly sad expression here...
This is juuuust a theory, and there's not a ton to back it up but I'm just throwing it out there--make of it what you will!
Here the Phantom Troupe is talking about their grand plans to find out who killed Sarasa and hold them responsible for what happened to her, why would Sheila be heading away from them with that pained expression? It's possible she simply didn't approve of their methods of going about it (though she's not shown as involved in or reacting to that conversation), but the way it's framed makes me think more of her hiding something.
What if Sheila already knows who's responsible for Sarasa's death...because she has some sort of involvement in the kidnappings that have been happening in Meteor City? Wouldn't that explain her expression here and abruptly leaving the situation?
Perhaps she's acting as an informant for the kidnappers or is aiding them in some other way? She's frequently shown as being injured, which characters comment on being as a result of her "clumsiness," but maybe she's being repeatedly injured as a threat/method of controlling her?
(In this case it's entirely probable she didn't intend for Sarasa herself to be killed--Sarasa went outside her usual range to try to find more tapes, and the kidnappers had already met their "quota for delivery" so this may have been an unusual case. It's possible Sheila had some sort of agreement that they would leave her friends alone by sticking to specific areas, for instance, that Sarasa may have gone outside of.)
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(This guy's moles are pretty distinctive so that makes me wonder if he'll show up again...)
This note about Sheila's role in the production could be relevant as well--that she's "two-faced."
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I think it's possible Tserriednich and/or circles he runs in are involved with this whole operation, which could mean Kurapika and the Troupe have a common enemy. I'm not sure if the timeline supports Tserriednich's involvement due to his age, however, he might be too young. Regardless, it's interesting to me that both Kurapika and the Phantom Troupe have the same root cause of their trauma and desire for revenge: People buying and selling human beings and parts of human beings as trophies and for sadistic purposes, which is what Tserriednich certainly represents. (As I said in another post, I'm all but certain the head Tserriednich has is Pairo's. It sure looks like Pairo's face inside his nen beast...)
Sheila could still be involved with the same people by the time the Kurta Massacre happens, and she uses Kurapika and Pairo to gather information on the Kurta Clan for whoever this group or individual may be--likely the real culprit behind the massacre. Again, potentially Tserriednich or someone he's associated with.
What happened with Sheila and the Kurta Massacre definitely comes across as suspicious (her showing up and communicating with Kurapika and Pairo shortly before the massacre happens), so I feel that lends more credibility to the possibility of her being involved somehow in the Meteor City kidnappings as well.
Again, take this all with a grain of salt. Of course Sheila was previously involved with the Phantom Troupe so it could be that the connection is that simple (though to me it doesn't explain the scene from the beginning of this post nearly as well). But I definitely feel like something more is going on here.
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extoller · 2 months
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[ id: Phoenix Wright in his disbarred-era appearance, excluding his beanie and his pendant. He looks at the viewer with a smile. End description ]
not sure why this embarrasses me so bad but yes! beanix (but no beanie actually) wright. i drew this picturing him before AA4, without the beanie because i wanted to practice his hair spikes.
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wait, i just thought of something...do you think Scylla was just taunting Odysseus, or do you think she was foreshadowing the events of the next two songs for Odysseus, Eurylochus, and the crew?
"Give up your honor and faith" Odysseus giving up his honor by sacrificing the men who trusted him to get them home safely directly led to him losing the faith Eurylochus and the crew had in him. Eurylochus in particular is hopeless in the second half of Mutiny, and that hopelessness leads to him killing the cow.
"Live up your life as a wraith" (wraith - noun. a ghost or ghostlike image of someone, especially one seen shortly before or after their death.) Odysseus gets to make it home alive, but it's no longer him. He lives!! But he's a ghost of his former self!!
"Die in the blood where you bathe" Could be referring to the crew dying in the same sea where they had slaughtered the sirens. Or, might be referring to Odysseus's humanity fully "dying" as he drifted through the water, stained with the blood of the men he had let Zeus kill.
and all those things were a direct result of him sacrificing the six men to Scylla. which he was doing as she sang those lines.
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i don't hc the elves as any specific race or anything because they're elves, they're supposed to blend more over thousands of years all able to travel anywhere anytime with one society so they can't be as easily grouped as humans can
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mdverse · 4 months
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hi hello ok i have a fic-related question: when u guys are writing/reading fanfics, do u have a preference when it comes to present tense vs past tense? like do u think one flows better than the other, do u think some stories work better in past tense while others work better in present tense? etc etc idk how to phrase any other questions i have about this rn but i am sincerely wondering
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headphonemouse · 26 days
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vent post sorry so sorry i'm having a Bad Time
psyched myself up to buy a new bed but when i announced my plans for the weekend my sibling's like 'are you sure you wanna buy a new bed?' like damn killed the hype immediately. i don't wanna buy a bed i don't wanna go anywhere i'll just keep using the bed that we all cycled through growing up that hasn't been replaced in a decade+ with no bedframe and only one sheet that fits.
"are you sure you want-" I need a new bed. This isn't a matter of wanting. i don't want to think about where to get the best deals or which store has a delivery service or the logistics of hauling that thing into my room or where to get rid of the old one i'm sick of sleeping on a mattress on the floor. don't make this ordeal more complicated than it has to be.
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seventh-district · 4 months
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not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go
(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)
#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill#well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst#like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc.#so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made#bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you#but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings#and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste#there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc#so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously)#but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything#if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is#which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose#anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate.#and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic!#if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it.#like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages#or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing#i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know#it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess#as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence#the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education#i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is-#writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl-#will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype#sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen#there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions#like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of-#'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity#like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem#but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.
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drawnecromancy · 9 months
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Sometimes I worry that I might actually be faking the whole not a lot of gender except a sprinkle of guy on top thing, and then i am aggressively gendered as a cis woman in day-to-day life and remember why i don't go out much.
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mcwexlerscigarette · 9 months
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the person I'm dating invited me to their family's Christmas but now it's like four days away and they won't give me ANY details about it lol. like they actively avoid ANY questions whenever I ask. like... if you don't want me to go just say that. what's the point of fucking around
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youremyonlyhope · 5 months
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why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up
#i'm overthinking something that i did and was told off for doing by my director#and on my way home i was thinking when was the last time i was even talked to like that during a production#and then i remembered the costume experience from hell of only a couple months ago that i've already began blocking out#but the thing is that that person was someone i knew i'd never have to work with again#i mean at first i thought i would have to work with them more. then they announced they were moving away immediately#so i only had to deal with them face to face for another weekish after that point and anytime they yelled at me#i was like 'cool. i'll do exactly what you say to do. and nothing more.' but then of course me being me#i did some extra stuff and they initially were like 'oh that's pretty' and then days later told me to cut everything i added#and like sure i get that the show was frozen but girl. that costume was unfinished. i was trying to finish it. it was frozen but looked bad#anyway. whenever they yelled at me and had actual malice in their heart i was like whatever. i was hurt. but i didn't care as much.#but this time it's someone i've worked with many many times before and it was about a habit i have that i know isn't great#but at the same time the thing that prompted it wasn't even me doing this habit it was something else#but she interpreted it as that habit and said that i can't do that on a production she's directing#and that if i couldn't stop then i could pull out from the production and there'd be no hard feelings between us#and honestly i think her reassuring that she knows i'm valuable and that she wants me there while also telling me not to do this thing#and the fact that she's someone i like working with and will continue to work with just made it all hurt so much more#especially since she referenced another past production we've done where i didn't even realize she had noticed that i do this.#and i found myself in near tears. and still am kind of in near tears. i can't decide if i need to cry or not.#and i had NO sleep last night so i was looking forward to sleeping tonight but now i'm just overthinking EVERYTHING#and like. i know everything will be fine. if i just stop inserting myself and stick to just my specific tasks. it'll be fine.#but this is one of the ways my ocd manifests. i feel like i have to personally fix something i notice going wrong. or it'll be bad.#because every single time i choose to sit back and not be nosy when i notice something it ends up bad in a way i could have prevented#if i just inserted myself in a situation i technically wasn't part of but knew i could help or fix. so i just need to not do that.#but then i feel guilt if it does go wrong in the ways i immediately assumed it would and in a way i could prevent.#and i've been trying to work on this for like 6 months and aaaahhhh it's hard and being called out on it from her just really really hurt#i still may or may not cry. i don't know. the irony of me telling my therapist THIS MORNING that it's been a while since i last cried.#and the universe being like 'i took that as a challenge' and handing me this situation for me to spiral over.#i need to leave things alone. i need to stare straight ahead. and ignore whatever isn't specifically for me to do. but ahhh i want to help#and then of course my mom has this same habit and it annoys me when she does it yet i do it to other people and ahhhhhhhh#brain please just shut up. i need to sleep. i have to work tomorrow.
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thebardscipher · 7 months
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*asks for help on how to write a character* *Gets either "Wait? You want to write THAT character? Who would wanna write that character?", contradicting advice, or advice that is like....sorta helpful but not really what I need/want* *Internal screaming*
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wherela · 1 year
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one of those crying in the shower kind of days
#my 'best friend' stood me up today#and by stood me up i don't mean canceled last minute i mean didn't show up and only responded to my calls and texts after 45 min#why? she was hanging out with some guy (she met him last week. he's not a christian.) and lost track of time#she's also initiated no contact with me over the last few weeks#the explenation was she thought i was busy with my thesis. as if you can't check in on someone when they're busy#she also gosted me for 3 days (like a month ago??) cause she was asked to share at student group and i couldn't go CAUSE I WAS SICK#I'm just so tired of it at this point#but it's also made me realise i dont really have any close friends#i have lots of friends. sure. and i trust them too. but it's not the kind of close where i can write to them when I've got a problem#like maybe I'd tell them live if they asked me? but I wouldn't really write to them it would just be weird#and so who do I tell that I met S's parents yesterday and even though so many things have happened since then already thats the only one#I can think about???? or that he actually CALLED ME afterwards specifically to tell me what they thought of our church#or that his mom apparently asked him if our relationship was still weird and he said 'yes' and I've been overthinking it cause i thought we#were finally okay and normal and genuinely just friends?#or that his mom said my look is that i dress vintage and it made me SO HAPPY!! that's my look!!! that's how I'm recognisable!!!#the answer is nobody. i have no one to tell :(#mine#s#I'm sorry I guess I had to vent this prolly turned out really really long
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123countwithme · 1 year
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So umm found Welcome Home and yeah.....
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omgitsbeewave · 10 months
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i haven't listen my scaridarity playlist for a while and i feel my heart crying bc OH MY GOD I LOVE MY DUM GUYS SO MUCH I MISS THEM 😭😭😭
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ujunxverse · 1 year
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to whoever says "omg your 20s are the best years of your life" stfu because this generation sucks in the worst way possible. yeah i do get downtime but imagine having to work full time to pay all my bills and taxes, have to micromanage everything in my life (rent...), not be a homeowner because i'd have to sell several organs to get a mortgage, can't even fathom buying a car because the insurance sounds awful, have existential breakdowns every day about what i really wanna do in life, think about how scary the future is with all the things that are happening domestically and internationally, and even hanging out with friends has to be done smartly where we think about the price before enjoying a meal or going out and genuinely having fun. 20s are the best part my ass i just wanna get this montage of self-discovery and flop era over and gain stability so i can be the rich aunt in every chick flick buying the mean girls their birkins and drinking 2-for-1 margaritas by the seaside.
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