#i cant describe the emotional warmth i felt returning to this ask from work

[katyspersonal]

I’m gonna be honest. People who make elaborate “call out” posts to “warn” other bystanders about a person because of a drama THEY were involved in with said person give me the creeps. Exposing private message threads? Twisting words clearly meant one way to mean something else? Putting on the best victim voice they can? Yeah, no.

I don’t give a fuck who you befriend or interact with on Tumblr. I don’t care if you wanna talk to the most hardcore “bigots” on the sight and try to understand them. We never get anywhere idealologically if we just ignore each other. Everyone just stews in their own corners. Like I’m not kidding, GO TALK TO THOSE PEOPLE. Get to know them. Befriend them. Help them. Find out why they think the way they do for the understanding alone. You can be friends with a person and not support what they believe in.

For people to act like self-righteous weirdoes about it and “call you out” just screams Catholic household shaming tendencies with a dash of high school bully and I ain’t here for it.

Let’s just say I now know who not to talk to on this sight because of those call-out posts either. It had the reverse effect on me.

Hey... I do not know who you are, it is your right to lurk (maybe you don't even have Tumblr account?), but I am really glad that you reached out here to talk about such things with me <:3

I already described my stance on the matters in detail in previous asks, and I can say me and you have very similar approach to people and events. Honestly also yes, in 99% of the cases people "warning" me about someone basically gives me the 'thanks for follow recommendation, lil shit!' gut responce x) The rest 1% is some drastic and undebatable danger for potentially anyone that is not moral panic but practical one (a p3do or a scammer for example), but attempt to socially excile people for different experiences and opinions is absurd - so is becoming a control freak over anyone who interacts. I thought we all left the "if you sit at the lunch table with a person popular kids declared a looser - you become a looser too :c" mentality back in middle school, but apparently some people didn't. :facepalm:

I also think something got lost here - because people are within their right to create an online space serving as only comfort for them, avoiding negative stimulus or talking to people that anger them. The problem is, they can't mind their OWN business! Creating their own internet bubble is not enough - they can't bear the thought that someone they hate still exists nearby even if they aren't interacting!

I call such people 'The Alfreds'. You know, Alfred. The fanatic that cannot sleep at night knowing Annalise is still alive and functioning, even though her clan is destroyed and she cannot DO anything. I always felt like this is the implication of him being a co-optor summon in Old Yharnam; Djura makes a valid point that beasts in there can't harm anyone, but Alfred just can't let them EXIST period @_@ They are Alfreds! Natural enemies of Annalises (people that cannot even harm anyone but are IMPURE- errr, "problematic") and Djuras (people who get hostile defending ideas of autonomy and refusing to harm those Alfred want destroyed). ...Yet the Alfreds tend to LOVE either Annalise or Djura o_o" Talk about not understanding the character you simp for! ...They also tend to HATE Alfred's guts. Tell me what character you hate and I'll tell you what you are in denial about. -_-

They HAVE to get petty and convert everyone else into hating that person and "purify" the fandom by denying them interaction and not letting them contribute GOOD things in it like drawings, lore, fanfics, retranslations etc. Nobody cares about the fandom LESS than this sort of "fans". Because they are not able to appreciate art and thoughts - they will "love" everything as long as the "right" person provides it. It is not critical, it is not intimate. It is shallow.

This "approval" is not worth anything. It reduces creativity to a product, it disregards what art exists for - uniting people, and being the beauty anyone can create regardless of gender, race, sexuality, neurodivergency status, their past, religion, ideology. I will never forgive the messed up purity bullies quest to trim and control the one medium where souls of everyone can show regardless of our differences, or even antagonism. That only people woke idiots deemed "pure" can share their creativity and encourage someone else's, that they try to not let people perceive and understand their creativity because they are "wrong" type of person. This mentality needs to die down.

Whew! You guys recently make me talk about things I desperately tried to forget and repress because I just had no "excuse" to vent. But I appreciate the opportunity just falling on me from the sky, this is cathartic. Again, you don't have to show your face or even like me, of course - what matters is that it seems like you can analyze such situations with true insight and make weighted choices. You consciously improve your fandom experience without making it at someone else's expense, and it's all I ever wanted to see to believe communities are not ALL doomed. I am just glad that you took it as 'the Alfreds showed their true face' situation, and I hope you have a good time in the fandom otherwise!

[cherrysha]

If You Let Me

my stupid ass laptop crashed while writing this so i think that meant i should post it asap. Anyway i rewatched the chimera ant arc and Shoot’s transformation inspired me to make sad smut because yall kno i cant stay away from angst. i hope this hurts in a good way! feel free to tell me ur thoughts and opinions!

Summary: After surviving the Chimera Ants, Shoot comes back into your life after years of being gone, claiming to be a changed man. But you’re tired of being his only when he needs you.

Word count: 2,848

My requests are open atm

Warnings: dubcon, angst, fingering, oral sex

18+ crowd here. No minors should be reading this

You see him there. Standing in front of the store window. He doesn’t do anything, just stares until you notice him before disappearing into the crowded city streets. You can’t help but be shocked. He’d been gone for years, leaving you to wallow in your misery and self doubt.

Four hours left in your shift and you didn’t have to guess where you’d find him. Probably in the same place he always was when he decided to show up again. Every minute you stood there, greeting customers and cleaning up after them you couldn’t help but the think of what you’d actually say to him.

What you wanted was to yell, to scream until your voice left you. Maybe you’d quietly tell him to leave and never come back. But you’d done all of that before. No matter what you had to put your foot down. You shouldn’t have let it continue for so long anyway.

-

Four hours later and your hunch was correct. Door still locked, he sat right at your kitchen table nonchalantly leaning back as if he belonged there. At one point he did, but the memory of it alone is enough to make your chest ache.

“What is it Shoot?” You sigh, dropping your bag and keys on the table. You follow suit, dropping into a chair to sit across from him.

He’s quiet as you sit down, hand fiddling with the material of his shirt. Nervous habit, you knew all too well how hard they were to break.

“Why are you so upset?” And he asks it as if there’s nothing wrong. Like it was normal for him to be here. Your irritation was only growing as you stared at the man in front of you.

“What a stupid question.” You mumble, pulling a cigarette out of the pack in your pocket. Before you have time to react he’s crushing it between his fingers, eyes trained on you while he speaks

“I thought you stopped smoking.” It’s almost a question and his eyes are full of concern.

“Believe it or not, a lot changes when you’re not here. My life keeps moving without you.”

“Ah” he says, as if he’s finally realizing it.

“Do you think I might’ve changed since we last met?” You give him a once over, shaking your head ‘no’ before he continues.

“Maybe you can’t see it.” His eyes are guarded as he waits for your reaction. You know what this is before he even has time to finish. He was trying to sway you, make you believe he was different and let him stay for the night. And in the morning you’d be alone again.

“Ah..” you sigh, mimicking him. With a nod of your head, you pretend to play along.

“How many hours are you going to be a changed man?” You cross your arms “One? Two? Are you going to at least wait until I fall asleep this time?”

He lets out an exasperated sigh, finally letting an emotion play across his face. Irritation. How ironic. “Why do you have to be so -“

“You’re the one who decided to leave, Shoot.”

“And you always let me come back.” he says calmly. “How do you think I feel?” There’s guilt in his eyes, as if he means to say that  he knows the pain he’s caused and that it’s eating him alive. But the way it sounds when it hits your ears is that because you accepted him over and over again, you’ve caused him unnecessary grief. His words are enough to make you overlook the sad expression lingering on his face.

“Oh no... don’t you sit there and try to blame this on me! You left. I didn’t. Don’t make yourself out to be the victim here Shoot! I didn’t fuck up your emotions. That was all you!” There’s a pause as he stares at you. That’s how he always was. Always so composed but you could tell what he was thinking nonetheless.

“That’s not what I was trying to do” and there’s this resolve in his voice, as if he’s accepted the fact that this isn’t going in the direction he wanted it to.

You pinch the bridge of your nose, closing your eyes before responding. “Well, what were you trying to do then?”

And you know the your next words are harsh, but after years of holding your tongue you don’t care to mince your words for his benefit. He pauses to consider your question and that’s when you say it “Or do you not want to talk about it like usual? It’s just too fucking difficult you’re gunna have to run away like you always do, right?”

All he does is grit his teeth. But it’s that reaction alone tells you the most. Like the flip of a switch, anger swallowed any sadness that was left on his face, and that was enough to prove him right. He wasn’t the person who left you all those years ago. You lean back in your chair with a sigh, choosing to ignore the tension in the room and his piercing gaze. No, this wasn’t the same Shoot. he should’ve left by now. But you know old dogs rarely learn new tricks. Just because he learned a new one didn’t mean he was the type of man to stay. He’d proven that time and time again.

“The doors open, Shoot.”

You rub your temples. This exchange has already dragged on far too long and the exhaustion you felt earlier from work was slowly returning to you.

He chuckles, it’s something dark and it makes your eyes snap open to look at him. He looks relaxed, like he’d finally gotten what he came for. But there’s tension hidden in his body. The loose fabric of his clothes couldn’t hide that.

“You always liked to hear yourself talk.”

And he says it as if he hasn’t been gone for years. Says it like you’re willing to concede if he just pushes hard enough. If he pressed the right buttons. It makes your stomach turn. Not again. You were done with this game.

“Yeah and look what good that did me.” You counter his laugh with a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes. “All that begging and I still ended up alone.”

You get up before you have time to see his reaction. it’s over, you shouldn’t care about the sting your words would leave him with. Slowly you move behind him to the balcony, letting your arms hold you tight, as if to keep yourself from falling apart.

You were too tired to be angry, too exhausted to bicker with him much longer. Yes, you loved him. Loved him since you were kids and that’s why you knew better than anyone that his word meant nothing. He was a man of inaction, it was in his nature to flee at the first sign of a fight. And after all these years, you loved him even though he was nothing but a coward.

You could give in tonight and wake up with an empty bed in the morning, or save yourself the heartache and make him leave right now.

The view on the balcony wasn’t bad for how cheap this place was. City stretched before you, lights and people converging as if it was just one giant organism. The sun was setting but, in a place like this there was rarely any peace. People scurried like ants, darting around as they quickly made their way home, to work, to restaurants and clubs. This big city with all these people and he still managed to find the one he was looking for. All so he could satisfy his guilt while paying no mind to how you felt. Yeah, It was time.

“The door, Shoot. It was nice catching up but I have work in the morning.” It’s quiet but you know he’s heard you.

There’s some shuffling as he gets up and you don’t let yourself turn around to see him leave again. You know what it looks like and you know the emotion that would climb it’s way out of your chest if you saw it one more time.

What you don’t expect is the feeling of his chest pressing against your back. The warmth there enough to make you release a quiet gasp. You were almost positive he would’ve taken the opportunity to leave. His arm pulls you closer as the words leave his lips.

“I’m sorry”

“I’ve heard it.” You snap, willing the anger and frustration back down your throat. “I’ve heard the ‘I love you’s and the promises to change before, Shoot. I’ve heard it all.” You can’t help it when your voice cracks, or the tears that start sliding down your face.

“Just save it and leave. Don’t make it even harder for me.”

He turns you around and he’s wearing this expression you haven’t seen on him before. You’d call it determination, that was the only thing you could describe it as, but there was something else there too.

His movements are slow and you can already tell where this is headed. In a few moments his lips are on yours, fingers tight against your chin holding you in place. You try to fight it, try to pull away but he can tell that the effort is half hearted and it only spurs him on even more. If you truly didn’t want it you would’ve stopped him earlier.

After a few seconds you give in to the taste of his mouth mixed with tears. It’s warm, it’s familiar and you can’t help but lean into it. You know it’s wrong but it’s too late to stop. When he finally lets you go you’ve shattered in his grasp. Resolve broken, there’s nothing left to hold back the flood of emotion that’s built up inside of you for years.

“I hate you!” You scream. And you hope beyond anything that the same man who would leave is still in there. You could pick up the pieces later but if he stayed it’d only be worse once he was gone. You try to push him away, tears soaking your shirt as you shove against his unforgiving chest.

“I hate you.. I hate you.” The words slowly fizzle into sobs that wrack through your body. Shoot only pulls you closer, arm coming to fit snug against your waist.

“I’m not leaving, y/n. Huh? Look at me. I’m not leaving.”

You can barely see through the tears flooding your eyes but it’s there. That resoluteness etched deep within the lines of his face. You prayed it was deep enough for him to have changed, you prayed it was shallow enough for him to leave for the final time and spare the ache in your heart. You prayed to be free of this cycle.

You lean into his chest, immediately soaking the fabric there. Your voice is a whisper when you finally speak again.

“I don’t believe you.”

“You don’t have to.” He whispers, ”Just give me a chance to prove it.”

You don’t speak, don’t react as he lifts you up and carries you inside. How long has it been since he was here? In your apartment? Your bedroom? You don’t remember, but it feels like a thousand lifetimes ago.

Soft kisses litter your pliant body as soon as he lays you on the bed. It’s different than the usual way he’s done it. Something tender flows through him and into you with each press of his mouth. Maybe he can sense that you’ve given up. It didn’t matter how hard you tried to fight it, you always ended up underneath him.

But there’s something so guilt free about the way he undresses you, lays you before him and gives a kiss to your mound. his touch is far sweeter than what you’ve come to expect. Before, he’d rush quickly through the act to outrun the guilt that slowly built up inside of him. But now, he takes his time, savoring every minute he can as his mouth sucks bruises into your hips. your thighs. There’s a tender moment before he buries his face between your them, quickly licking a stripe up your center before stopping to suck on your sensitive clit. Once he has a taste he can’t stop himself from taking what he came for. He doesn’t have the patience to.

Whimpers mix with the sobs that leave your throat. You could never help the way your body responded to his touch, couldn’t help the way slick dripped down your thighs at the mere thought of his mouth on you. And he doesn’t let any of it go to waste, lapping up everything you have to offer him. He’s starved, and now was his chance to have as much as he wanted.

He had been selfish, he knew that. But as much as he was giving right now he was aware of how much he was taking. This was no different. Your body underneath his. Legs tight around him as he ate his fill and then some, not stopping when you arched against him. A broken wail leaves your throat. No, he was still selfish. He needed all of you, every last drop.

There’s no break, no rest as he pushes you over the edge. You can tell he’s not trying to make up for lost time. He couldn’t change the past or the mistakes he’d made along the way. It wasn’t guilt either. No sadness in his face or in his movements against you. It was a desperate need that drove him, nothing more. You’d never seen this much of him. Still fully clothed, he left his heart lying naked on the sheets for you to see. It’s so overwhelming that it makes your head spin. Coupled with the orgasm still rushing through your body, it was enough to make you go limp beneath him. Before you know it, he’s lifting his mouth off of you, giving you respite from the pleasure for only a few seconds. Shoot kneels between your open legs as he deftly pushes two fingers deep within your cunt.

It’s indescribable. You hadn’t felt this good in such a long time, the pleasure of your last orgasm still so fresh that his thumb moving against your clit bordered on painful.

“I love you” and he says it like it’s not a mere feeling, but an absolute fact. His eyes bore into you, stern expression on his face as he fucks his digits in and out of your soaked core. He feels it. The clench around him as he says it. There’s no denying what his words are doing.

“Stop it Shoot.” The tears come back again with a vengeance as you cover your face with your arm. He speeds up, thumb brushing quicker at the bud hidden between your folds.

“I love you y/n”  and there’s this conviction in his voice you can’t ignore. But you know better. Sobs shake your body as you clench tight around him again. If he kept it up you weren’t going to last very long.

He’s moving, determined expression still on his face as he kisses his way up your stomach to your chest, nipping at a pert nipple before giving the same attention to the other. His lips are on your neck, sucking and biting dark bruises into your sensitive skin.

“You don’t have to say it. You’ve done enough for me sweetheart.”

His warm mouth presses against the hollow of your neck before continuing.

“Just come for me okay?”

You can’t help but to obey. You whine as your body tightens around him before it suddenly lets go. All the pain, the hurt, the betrayal is forgotten as he works his tongue into your mouth, taking every noise you make for himself. It’s mind numbing and the wind is knocked from you at the sheer force of it. You move your arm to fist the sheets underneath you, an electric current still pulsing through your veins as he stills his digits inside and switches to just lazily rubbing your clit in circles.

Shoot watches with rapture at the pleasure on your face, eyes red with tears and lips swollen from his mouth. He wanted more. Wanted to take everything you could give him and then some. To make you cry with pleasure as he pushed your body to it’s limits. But this night wasn’t for him and he was aware that you had given everything you could. It wasn’t about what he wanted. So he pulls his fingers out and undresses, shushing you when you start to tell him you can’t, your too tired. “I don’t want that” he whispers.

He crawls in bed next to you, holding your naked body close as he places kisses to your neck. your breathing evens out and you fall asleep much quicker than he expected. but it was okay. In the morning he’d be there. He’d prove himself to you and would take whatever you were willing to give afterwards

[irameii]

HEATHER:||: ERIC

Warnings:|| one sided love

Summary: I wish I was her....

A laugh rings throughout the air. One so familiar, you cant help but smiling automatically at the sound. His presence, one that illuminates wherever he goes. Slowly turning around, there he is ,your best friend.

There it is , a smile, a gesture so simple yet it causes a million butterflies to flutter within you and causes your mind to go fuzzy. Its like he doesn't know his own charm or the control he has over you, but no one knows. No one knows the feelings you carry within.

(Idkh these pov thingys work yet sorryy)

Eric: y/n!!!!!!. Eric yells as he jogs closer, and grabs y/n's shoulder y/n: yes Eric?* deep breath* Eric: did you do the homework for math class? * Breathe* y/n: Yeah I did.I actually finished it before class ended yesterday. Eric: you're gonna let me see it right??? *heart beating gets louder* Take a step back Y/n : nope. You should've done it. *starts walking down the hall* Thinking he's wandered off you let out a deep sigh... Knowing if you let him beg enough youd cave in and you knew better. He would never learn this way.and soon enough you could see yourself falling farther and farther into his grasp over time and he didnt even know it. You let out one more sigh before turning around to see Kevin , who cant help but look at you concerned. Kevin: whats wrong y/n?

.. You avoid eye contact. Kevin is one of those people. Someone who can tell when someones upset. He can read you well. So you knew you had to leave quickly. Y/n: I didnt get much sleep last night. So I'm feeling quite off today, its nothing serious. *nervous laughter*

He seems to kind of believe it since he just nods his head as if he can see it apparent on your face.. But something feels off, like he's pretending to believe you for your sake but you just excuse yourself and head towards the bathroom.Totally unaware he hasnt stopped looking your way since turning around as he nods to himself again as if comfirming somthing to himself before turing to head to his own class.

Y/n Pov

*splash*

*in a quiet voice* 'Whats wrong with me..'.. Its like the moment I look at him I cant help it. My heart begins to race, my stomach ends up feeling funny like there are millions of butterflies, and I get nervous and run away each time he gets closer... *Looks back at self in mirror* only if he knew...

(5 min later.)

*sigh* *walks towards math*

Other POV

You sit down before class begins , and there it is again , his laughter, but this time its different. You cant help but turn around to see whats caused the change in his voice, and its like your throat gets caught. Her. The girl he always is talking to you about.It seems like he was finally able to build the courage to talk to her. The one he wants to take to the movies to see his favorite movies with. The one he wants to show his safe places to . The one who keeps him up at night. The one he wants to wear matching clothes with. The one he wants to spend his holidays with. Her. Its her. Guess he didn't need the homework anymore afterall.

You quickly turn back around , trying to keep your emotions in. You feel yourself go colder with each sound. A tightening feeling in your chest builds everytime you hear them laughing . You sigh and breathe in slowly , praying the class ends quickly .

The moment class ended you jolt up quckly and grab your things and head towards your locker for the next class.

Y/n Pov

*sigh* *grabs snack for break*

Eric:y/n!!!

I dont respond.

Eric:y/n? Whats wrong .*looks concerned*

There he goes again.

Nothing Eric i say. He looks in disbelief. Knowing theres something off.

Eric: hmmm.You sure sure?. Hmm Well lets go with the rest of the guys. They are waiting for us for sure. *wraps arm around shoulder*

It was like a sudden new reflex. I didnt mean to. But jerking away from him seemed like the only thing that my body felt like I should do...

The look of surprise on his face made me feel embarrassed I reacted that way. And as soon as it looked like he was going to ask me what was wrong again I speed down the hall.

And there I meet the rest of the guys , thankfully.

New: thank goodness you're here. Look help me out. Changmin keeps saying this chucky doll here is cute... Come get him .

I cant help but laugh. I take a seat next to Sangyeons right side while Juyeon is on my left.

Juyeon looks towards me as i sit and smiles that crescent moon kind of smile. Of course i return it .

Y/n: I dont know about chucky being cute. But his bride is quite a beauty tho.

New:..... You... You two are something else with your horror movies... Like... You know what, forget it. *laughs in defeat.*

Y/n: *dramatic gasps* my oh my you say that like WE'RE the weird ones.🙄👀

Sunwoo and Q: periodt👀👏

Eric finally arrives.

Eric: Guys!! Guess what?

Sunwoo: you did your math homework for once?

Eric:.... Mm well Uh no, i didnt

Sangyeon: you didnt ask y/n for the answers this time?

Eric: no i did, but she said no. I got it from. H/n (her name)

Hyunjae: so thats what it is. You spoke to her?

*breathe*

Eric: yes and guys, like, I think I've maybe got a chance.

There he goes again... Her. Its all her. JUST her...

Jacob: so did you ask her out?

Eric: yeah I did. I invited her to our movie night tonight. I was gonna ask you guys if you guys were cool with it beforehand but I didnt think I would must the courage to.

Juyeon: anything for you to get the girl. We got you

New: IF he gets her. She just doesnt know the headache she's in for.

Sangyeon: Guess all that practice on y/n was worth it.

Practice...

Thats all I was....

He says it smiling towards me , not knowing the hurt his words have just caused subconsciously but I cant smile. Not even a forced one. I just pretend I didnt heard him.

Eric: yeah she told me she actually thought I was dating y/n but of course I could never. We're like siblings.

Ouch...

New: true...

Q: I dont even think eric is y/n's type anyways

I make eye contact with someone who seems to have been watching my every move.

Kevin...

He looks like he is observing everything... From my reactions to my responses.After another 3 seconds he looks away.Not saying a word either.

Everyones laughing. Everyones congratulating him.

Younghoon:y/n?

Everyone turns to face me.oh .

Y/n: hm?

I was too lost in thought. I spaced out.

Sangyeon: What time are you coming by?

Y/n: for what?

Sunwoo: for the movie. We gotta all be Eric's wingman here. He needs all the help we can offer.

Oh.. She will be there too? Can I handle it? Yes? No? No I cant handle it

Y/n: Uh i cant . I have something that just came up. I just remembered.

I lied. And sure enough. I was seen through.

Eric: like what?

Y/n: something

Q: really? What is it? Maybe we can help you out so you can come by and hang out.

Something is snapping within me. I need to leave.

Y/n: no thanks. You guys have fun.

I get up before they give me a response. I cant be around them . not until i get over these feelings. But its harder than i thought. But i dont want to take it out on them either so I should try.

Everytime We'd see each other after that. It was HER. It was either him with her or about her.

Everytime in class, itd be HER.

Every text , HER.

And the guys went along with it.

And everytime , itd hurt. A punch to the heart. And a bit tighter it would feel each time.

And the constant reminder that its just HER and will always be HER..

only if he knew.. I wish I was her.... its like the way he'd talk about her was like he was telling you the reason for his existence, the way his eyes shined when hed see her and then theyd soften when she'd smile at him,the smile he'd have when hed describe her or simply talk about her and trust me he was always proud to, or the way he tried to contain his happiness when she'd come around to speak to him just showed me all i needed to know.

He loved her. She made him happy . Thats all that mattered.

I felt one of those sad smiles form. Because though he was happy . I was not. I dont want to be reminded its not me constantly..so with thaat thought. I call it quits. Until I no longer feel this feeling. I'll distance myself so I can let go properly and move on with time.

I suddenly stopped responding to the gc messages. Slowly started to decline to hang out. But it seems it wasn't a big deal though. She was there eveytime instead.She became apart of everything they did. And with that I started to spend all my time in the library as a way to naturally distance myself. The guys were worried at first. But once i told them I needed perfect scores to get into my dream college, they decided me spending most of my time in the library for it was alright. It was for my other "dream college" so I should put it first they said. For my future they said.And then they also suddenly stopped asking me to hang out.It didnt take long.They also suddenly stopped directing messages towards me in the gc. Personal messages as well. Slowly one by one. We stopped having things to talk about ,like we've become strangers with time.. Now to just glances every now and then, that was all. Other than that, we became just like strangers. Strangers with memories....

Suddenly..

Kevin: y/n...

*Distant laughter*

I turn to look at Kevin.Sensing he had something to say but it wouldnt come out. He looks towards the table and I follow his gaze towards the table full of boys with her in it. I can only smile. I smile when they errupt with laughter at something new and sunwoo said. Happy they're happy. And with that I turn back to Kevin.

I can only smile at Kevin. No words. Just a smile.

The look on his face says he has something to say still present.

For the past 6 months. He would have that same look on his face when I'd walk past him. But hes never actually stopped me.

Kevin: y/n...

And just like that . Suddenly I'm wrapped in a warmth I didnt think I missed. And it's like it went quiet..and the sound of sniffling fills my ears , and his hold gets tighter. Oh Kevin..

THE END.

Authors note: Maybe I can male a Pt2? This one turned out bad tbh .

I did not edit this but i will later onnnn thank youuuuuu

[skinsharpenedteeth]

Kinktober 1

AN: No lie, y’all, there’s no way I’ll write 31 fics for October. Too many birthdays in my family for that noise. So I’m going to work on writing as many fics as it takes to explore 31 different kinks instead. Fewer fics, just as much kink. LOL. Here’s the first fic. It’s the finished version of the WIP I posted on Wednesday. It’s not quiet 10k, but it’s damn close. Enjoy!

Feel free to read it on AO3!

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              Alex was having a lazy Thursday evening. He and Michael had been together for a little over a year (one year, three months, two days but who was counting?) and while it had been bumpy at first, they’d done the hard emotional growth to make it work. Part of that had been to stop denying what their incredible physical connection could do for them. It had been slowly teaching each of them to open up and state their desires without fear of humiliation or dismissal. It had also taught them to listen to what the other was saying and to clarify if something was unclear. That open communication in the bedroom had bled over into other parts of their life and they’d gotten to a place where they could live together in more or less harmony. They still argued, but it didn’t have the slap of rejection that it once would’ve had. Their arguments now were more like lively disagreements. Alex laid on the couch in their living room and ruminated on that as he watched one of the many serial dramas on television.

“Alex,” Michael’s voice called from the back of the house. “Come back here for a minute.”

              Pushing himself up off the couch, Alex padded down the hall of his their house, eyes scanning the open doors to the bathroom and guest bedroom as he went to make sure Michael was in their bed room. He poked his head past the doorway of the master searching for Michael in the room and spotted him sitting on the foot of their bed, legs locked in front of him to keep him from sliding onto the floor. When Michael saw Alex in the doorway, his face lit up with a smile and he held his arms open in obvious invitation. Alex walked slowly over until he was standing between Michael’s legs looking down at him and he raised an eyebrow in question. Michael continued to smile up at him and wrapped his open arms around Alex far enough to link his hands behind Alex’s lower back.

              “Yes? Did you need something?” Alex asked, still amused at Michael’s antics and leaning back slightly against Michael’s hands behind him.

              “Can’t a guy just call his boyfriend back into their bedroom because he’s lonely?” Michael asked as he bent his arms to tug Alex’s body closer to his. There’d only been about a foot between them and after the tug there was half that.

              “I don’t know, can he? Are you feeling lonely?” Alex asked, giving in to the temptation to rest his arms over Michael’s shoulders and play with the loose curls on the back of his head. Michael always made him feel like the strong one, but occasionally he did something, and Alex just felt himself melt inside. He became the softest little chinchilla in his heart and let his ever-vigilant guard dog have a nap.

              “Were you in the room? No? Then I was feeling lonely,” Michael teased as he canted his head back to nudge against Alex’s hands, encouraging him to dig his hands deeper into Michael’s hair.

              “Oh, we’re feeling needy tonight, are we?” Alex joked back, sliding his feet forward the last few inches between them until Michael could press his face against Alex’s shirt covered chest. Alex let the moment hold there, letting Michael breathe him in through his shirt the way he liked, before Alex tightened the hand in Michael’s hair and tugged down until Michael rested his chin over Alex’s sternum and looked up at him. “Are you feeling needy tonight, Michael?”

              Michael nodded, eyes closing in apparent ecstasy as Alex kept Michael’s hair in a firm grip with one hand while the other softly combed back the curls that still hung around his face. Alex allowed himself a moment to just look at Michael, enjoying the warmth of their bodies pressed against each other and how Michael’s hands had come to grip the back of his thighs above his knees. He loved the calm that seemed to take over Michael’s face when he was pressed against Alex’s body.

              “What do you need tonight?” Alex asked him quietly, letting the hand at the back of Michael’s head loosen and slide out of his hair to rest on the back of his neck. He had a good idea what Michael might want, but he needed to hear him vocalize it. The other hand paused against Michael’s cheek, waiting for him to speak. Michael tell him what he wanted exactly so Alex could figure out how best to take care of him, that was part of the deal.

              “I need to my brain to go quiet. I need you to scene with me, dominate me. I don’t want to make any decisions,” Michael replied, eyes opening slowly as he exhaled at the end of his confession. Alex nodded and urged Michael to press his head against Alex’s chest. He did so and Alex wrapped his arms around Michael, using his body as a shield against the outside world while they discussed their plan for the evening.

              “Do you want to be restrained?” Alex asked, starting to form plans for the night. Michael nodded his head. “Use words, Michael.”

              “Yes I want to be restrained,” Michael huffed out a little petulantly though with an obvious smile in his voice.

              “Good. Do you want to edged?”

              “Yes,” Michael sighed the word against Alex’s shirt. He could feel the heat of his breath warm the cotton against his skin.

              “Do you want to get fucked?”

              “So much, please,” Michael moaned, and his voice sounded so pleading. Alex paused to think about his options and what he could do for Michael. Michael let him think in silence, but his thumbs had started to brush back and forth over the outside of Alex’s thighs.

              “Okay. How would you feel about putting on my favorite pair of red panties that you own? I’ll get some of the soft, red cotton rope and we’ll bind up your chest and arms. Then we’ll get you nice and hard and use that cock ring we bought with the prostate stimulator so you can blow me and tease yourself at the same time. Obviously, no coming unless I give you permission. Then finally I’ll fuck you nice and hard and if you’re very, very good, I’ll let you come. Does that sound okay?” Alex offered, petting Michael’s hair again as he spoke. His own skin was starting to heat up at his idea, his stomach stirring with arousal as he pictured each piece of his plan while describing it to Michael. Michael remained quiet against him, but Alex could see him working it through in his mind.

              “Yes. I want all of that. Please,” he added to the end, looking up into Alex’s eyes as he said it.  

              “Please….” Alex prompted in the way they’d agreed on previous occasions to ask Michael if he was ready to start the scene.

              “Please, sir,” Michael answered promptly, expectation and excitement expanding the simple meaning of the words between them.

              “Good boy,” Alex praised, enjoying the rush of heat he felt when Michael called him ‘sir’ and gave him obvious, almost tangible power over him. “Safeword?”

              “Max,” Michael responded, grinning up at him over the old joke. Nothing could get either of them out of the mood father than thinking about Max Evans.

              “Right, and I’ve got the bell for when your mouth is otherwise occupied,” Alex reminded him. Michael nodded again before catching himself.

              “Yes, sir,” he corrected himself.

              “Now go get clean and dressed for me while I get out the toys,” Alex commanded lightly, stepping out from between Michael’s legs. He whined, but pushed himself off the bed and started towards the bathroom. Alex caught his arm and pulled him back against him.

              “Give me a kiss before you go,” Alex said, meeting his eyes and waiting for his response. Michael smiled sweetly and bent forward, giving Alex a light peck on the lips before starting to draw back.

              “Michael…” Alex said his name this time with a warning. “I thought you wanted to come tonight. Kiss me the way I like.”

              This time Michael pushed into Alex’s body and claimed his mouth, lips open and tongue slipping wetly against Alex’s. It was one of those never-ending kisses that made your head go light from oxygen deprivation. When Michael finally pulled back, Alex pressed their foreheads together so they could catch a breath.

              “Good boy,” he praised in a low voice. “Now go do what I asked, please.”

              Michael smirked and backed away again before sauntering towards the bathroom. Alex licked his lips and followed him to lean against the open doorway. He could feel his anticipation growing as he watched Michael’s jeans drop to the floor of the bathroom with his underwear. He watched his shirt follow shortly and then saw him bend over to pull his socks off. When he did, Alex could see that perfect little pucker that he’d have stretched out on his cock by the end of the night.

              As soon as he saw Michael slip behind the curtain into the shower, Alex turned and went to the chest they kept under one of the bedroom windows. He made sure the blinds were drawn down and the curtains closed before he opened the chest and looked at all the paraphernalia they kept within. They’d amounted quite the collection of toys since beginning to work on their communication. He grabbed the red cotton rope, the cock ring he’d mentioned, some of their thick lube for prolonged anal play, the red lace, wide-banded jock strap style panties he’d found for Michael at a sex shop in Germany, and a few things for himself. He set the rope, lube, and cock ring on the edge of the bed and took the panties into the bathroom.

              “I’m putting your panties on the counter,” Alex called towards the steaming shower before returning to the bedroom. He didn’t wait for Michael to answer him, instead he turned back into the bedroom and headed towards the chair they kept in the corner by the closet. It was an antique club chair in rose gold velvet that he and Michael had found on the side of the road early one morning on their way to breakfast at the Crashdown. They’d thrown it into the back of the truck, taken it home, cleaned it up, and it promptly became Alex’s dressing chair in their bedroom. He tossed the items he’d grabbed for himself out of the chest over the arm of the chair before shrugging off his shirt and throwing it towards the laundry hamper. Next, he unbuckled his jeans and pushed them down to midthigh before sitting down into his chair to work them the rest of the way off. He released the catch for his prosthetic and slipped it out from his jean leg before pushing his jeans and undies all the way off, tossing them towards the hamper after his shirt. Naked, he took a deep breath and began his own mental transformation into the dominant partner Michael needed him to be for the night.

              Alex picked up the first piece he’d chosen for himself that evening. It was an X-strap style leather harness with silver metal detailing. He held it over his head and slid it down onto his chest and back, instantly feeling more in control and sexually confident as the leather whispered and creaked with his movements. The other piece he’d chosen for himself that evening was a pair of black leather briefs with a zipper that ran front to back. He slipped them up over his legs and thighs and tugged them up over his ass. His workouts had been given him a bit of a bubble butt, so he found himself having to tug just about everything a little to get past the swell of his muscles. He looked down the length of his own body and smiled at the picture he made. He loved how he looked in leather gear. He had a full outfit, but he and Michael hadn’t made it to Sante Fe to any of the clubs there for him to show it off. Alex didn’t mind; he was just as happy to wear it at home with how Michael tended to react to him in it. He heard the shower turn off and his smile grew wider.

              A few minutes later Michael came into the room, hands behind his back, red lace screaming against his skin and skin pink from the heat of the water and his scrubbing. He knelt on the floor a few feet in front of where Alex lounged in his chair and Alex watched him settle. Alex had seen him dart a few glances up at him as he’d walked into the room and if the bulge in his underwear was anything to go by, Michael liked what he saw.

              “Michael,” Alex started, his voice low. He’d already made the transition in his mind from loving boyfriend to Dom who expected his orders to be followed. “Crawl over here, baby. Let me see you in your pretty panties.”

              Michael rocked forward onto his hands and crawled the few feet so that he was sitting on his feet between Alex’s legs. Alex reached down and placed a finger under Michael’s chin to tilt his head up so he could look at him. Alex leaned forward and made a show of making Michael lean his upper body back until he had to place his hands on the carpet behind him to keep himself from falling. The arch showed off the long, lean muscles of his stomach and chest, the curly unkempt hair that led from his pecs down past the red lace band. Alex let his fingers trail down the Michael’s body until he hooked two fingers under the elastic band and stretched it slightly before letting it snap back against Michael’s lower stomach. Michael sucked in a breath above him in surprise, but when Alex looked up to catch his eyes he could see that Michael was already chewing on his bottom lip and his eyes had gone dark with lust.

              “Why don’t you turn over and show me your hole, baby. I wanna see how good you did in the shower cleaning up for me,” Alex commanded, leaning back into the chair to give Michael room to move. While Michael shuffled around so he was facing away from Alex, Alex grabbed his prosthetic from where he’d laid it next to the chair and clicked it back on. He stood and made sure it was fully engaged before striding over to the bed to grab the lube, cock ring, and rope he’d laid out. He brought them back over to his chair and caught Michael watching him. He’d positioned himself so that his cheek was laid flat against the carpet, ass high in the air behind him with his hands clutching at his cheeks to spread them wide for Alex’s inspection. Alex smiled indulgently at him as he past him and set down his things on the chair arm before sitting back down. He took his time getting settled, ignoring the way Michael had started to shift a little on the floor. When a whine past his lips, Alex smacked a hand against one of his ass cheeks in a quick, stinging slap. Pink bloomed on Michael’s skin were Alex had reprimanded him.

              “You know better, Michael. Be patient or all you’ll get is edged tonight and for the rest of the week until you learn patience,” Alex warned, voice stern.

              “Sorry, sir,” he heard Michael pout into the carpet. Alex decided to take pity on him and turned his attention fully to Michael and his spread cheeks. He could see the slight sheen of leftover lube on Michael’s pink pucker. Alex spread his hands wide over the skin that Michael wasn’t clutching and let them rub back and forth. He scooted forward on the chair until his thighs were spread wide around Michael’s body, his thighs pressed against the back of Michael’s. He ran his hands upwards over Michael’s lower back and then down, letting them hook onto his hips do he could drag Michael’s hips the inch or two back until he was only a hairsbreadth away from pressing against Alex’s leather covered crotch. Michael moaned beneath him, hands leaving his ass cheeks and grasping onto Alex’s calves behind his knees. Alex smiled, trying to decide whether to punish Michael for letting go of his cheeks without permission or to ignore it. He couldn’t just ignore it, that’s not what Michael wanted from him.

              “Now Michael,” he started in a chiding tone. He kept one of his hand on Michael’s hip while the other came back towards his hole. Alex pressed his thumb firmly against the tight furl of muscles and was pleased when it opened to him easily, letting him sink the digit past the rim and tug. “Did I say you would stop holding yourself open for me?”

              Michael whined underneath him as Alex slowly started to push his thumb in a little further before drawing it back out. There wasn’t enough lube for him to do much more without hurting Michael, but he knew Michael craved the burn of a mostly dry finger sometimes. He felt Michael’s hands flex behind his knees and then start to pull away.

              “You can keep them there, Michael. But you should’ve asked for permission. Why don’t you practice by asking me nicely to lube you up so we can make sure you’re ready for your toy?” Alex suggested, noticing the red flush starting to tint Michael’s shoulders as he continued to work his thumb around Michael’s rim slowly in a series of shallow thrusts and pulls.

              “Ah! Will… Will you please… fuck, please… lube me up so you can… fuck! AH! Put my toy in me… please, sir?” Michael stuttered through the questions, breaking for short gasps. He was starting to tremble under Alex’s hand and he found himself shushing and petting him, pausing with his thumb pushed as deep as it would go while Michael took a few deep breaths to calm himself.

              “You’re doing so good tonight, baby. I’ll give you what you need, okay?” Alex praised as he continued to pet Michael’s back while he whimpered. Alex gently pulled his thumb out of Michael and removed his hand from his back. “Why don’t you sit up and turn around? I need you to pull your panties down for me so we can put your cock ring on and fill your hungry hole until I’m ready for it.”

              Michael scrambled to obey and Alex chuckled darkly as he watched him hook his thumbs into the sides of his underwear and drag them down to his knees. His cock was already hard and leaking from Alex’s attentions and it made Alex’s mouth water to see him so turned on. Instead of just throwing him onto his back on the floor and sucking him off like he wanted to, Alex busied himself with uncapping the tub of lube.

              “Sir?” Michael asked softly from in front of him. Alex hummed to let him know he’d heard him. “Will you kiss me, please?”

Alex shot him a look and grinned at him. He loved Michael’s simple requests for affection, loved when he wanted that almost more than for Alex to wring the pleasure out of him.

              “Of course, you can, baby,” Alex replied and leaned into Michael’s space. He cradled the back of Michael’s head in his hands and found himself pressing a wet, open mouthed kiss onto Michael’s lips. Michael responded by immediately opening his mouth to Alex’s advances and Alex plundered him, taking his tongue and lips as his own. Michael made low, pleasured hums as they kissed, and it made Alex’s skin feel too tight with how much he wanted Michael to just keep making those noises forever. He finally pulled back from the kiss, nipping Michael’s bottom lip affectionately before sitting back. Michael looked flushed and dazed, his lips swollen and red, shiny with spit, and Alex felt another hunger letting itself be known.

              “Stand up for me and spread your legs a little for me,” Alex requested softly. Michael did as he was told, and Alex swallowed back the mouthful of saliva that had come flooding in the second he was within a foot of Michael’s cock. God, it was a beautiful thing. It was average length, but thick and uncircumcised. Alex’s mind helpfully supplied flesh memories of how good it felt when Michael was fucking him, and the foreskin supplied a delightful secondary tug against Alex’s hole when Michael pulled back. Alex made a mental note to get Michael to fuck him later if he was up to it. Alex kissed Michael’s hip and indulged himself, moving over to Michael’s cock and sucking the head into his mouth. His lips pushed down the foreskin while his tongue laved over the sticky slit streaming precome. Alex moaned at the taste, loving Michael’s salty sweat pre and how his hard flesh felt in against his tongue.

              Scooping out some of the lube onto two fingers, Alex began warming it with his thumb. He reached past Michael’s cock and balls and followed his taint until he was back at Michael’s entrance. He pushed his two fingers past the rim without any more preamble and twisted them, smearing the thick lube around. Testing the coverage, he pumped his fingers a few times earning himself a desperate groan and trembling thigh from Michael. He gave Michael’s cock a final hard suck before pulling off with a pop. He withdrew his fingers and loaded just a little more lube onto them before picking up the cock ring and coating the prostate stimulating probe that was connected to it. He looked up to check on Michael and saw him watching him with hungry eyes, chest flushed and heaving. Alex gave him a feral grin in return and slipped the first part of the cock ring over Michael’s shaft. He positioned it at the base and then moved the second ring around Michael’s balls. The last part, the prostate stimulator, he slowly pressed past the slick ring of muscles. Michael immediately started breathing thought his mouth like he was trying not to moan and Alex teased him by pushing and pulling at the probe a few times before letting it settle against Michael’s prostate. When he looked at Michael’s cock again, he could see a new bead of precome glistening against his slit and he swiped his clean thumb over it and popped it into his mouth.

              “How does it feel?” Alex asked a little breathlessly. He reached a hand between his own legs and massaged at his cock, giving himself a little relief rom the tension that was building in him from playing with Michael.

              “It feels so good, sir. Thank you,” Michael replied, shifting his weight a little before freezing, stomach and face tensing as the probe shifted within him. “Fuck. So good.”

              “I’m glad. You deserve to feel good,” Alex replied with a smile, bringing his still slicked hand up to Michael’s cock. He used a light grip, more tease than pressure, and stroked Michael while he leant forward and mouthed at his balls. He could feel Michael fighting to stay still, his muscles rigid with control. “You can move a little, Michael. I want to you to get to the edge edge once before we start tying you up.”

              Michael moaned softly above him at his words and immediately Alex tightened his hand for Michael to thrust in to. Alex sat back up straight so he could watch Michael’s body. He ran his unoccupied hand over Michael’s flushed chest and tweaked at each of his nipples. Just a quick pinch and twist before pulling off and doing the same to the other. Michael cried out at the quick flash of pain and his hands immediately braced themselves on Alex’s shoulders, so he didn’t lose his balance, his hips working furiously as he pumped through Alex’s fist. Michael’s head was thrown back as lost himself in the pleasure of Alex’s attentive care. His cock flushed red between Alex’s fingers and the foreskin was drawn back to expose Michael’s thick, leaking tip. Alex trailed his fingers down to gently pull at Michael’s balls which had drawn up in anticipation of something he didn’t get to do just yet. Alex let his fingers slide behind them to press meaningfully against Michael’s taint, putting more pressure on his prostate than what he was getting from the stimulator.

              “Ah… I’m.. I’m close, sir,” Michael gasped out, his hips still pumping into Alex’s fist even as he started to lose coordination.

              “Then I suggest you stop,” Alex said with a warning, even though he didn’t take his hands away. Michael screwed his eyes shut and bit his lip, stilling his hips with obvious effort. His legs were shaking, and he was breathing heavily in and out through his nose as he tried to calm his body back down. Alex waited, unmoving, for Michael to give him the signal he could move his hands.

              “You were so close, weren’t you, Michael?” Alex asked softly. Michael nodded quickly, eyes still shut but he released his abused lower lip from his teeth.

              “Yeah... yes, sir. Just give me a sec, please,” he breathed above him. Alex looked at the cock in his hands and marveled at how angry and flushed with blood it was. All he wanted to do was take Michael in his mouth and let him cum hot and thick over his tongue. The cock ring would keep him hard, Alex reasoned, and they could continue their play…. But, no. Michael wanted to be edged and they’d agreed on a plan.

              “Okay. I’m… I’m okay. Thank you for waiting on me, sir,” Michael finally said, his voice sounding much more even than it had a minute ago. Alex uncurled his fingers from around Michael’s shaft and pulled his other hand away from between Michael’s legs. He rested both on the outside of Michael’s thighs, petting him while he gave him another moment to breathe.

              “You’re welcome, Michael. You did so good letting me know you were close because you know I would’ve had to punish you if you’d come without permission. Who owns your orgasm, Michael?” Alex asked, voice calm and soothing.

              “You do, sir,” Michael replied easily.

              “Who owns your cock?”

              “You do, sir,” this time he confessed it on a sigh of contentment.

              “Who gets to decide when you come?”

              “Only you, sir. Only you.” Michael sounded adoring and reverent as he said the last words and Alex’s heart swelled with pride. He loved that Michael loved this, loved that Michael trusted Alex enough to give him control of his body.

              “Good boy. Let’s get these panties back on so we can get you tied up like we discussed,” Alex said with affection as he let his hands grasp the edged of the lace and pull them back up Michael’s legs. He settled the lace around Michael’s hips and covered his erection with the material, smiling at how good it looked stretched over his engorged cock. “Now go stand over there by the mirror for me.”

              Michael turned and walked the few short steps to the area Alex had indicated. They had a tall mirror leaned against the wall next to their dresser that Alex had more than once indulged in making Michael fuck him in front of. He loved the way Michael looked behind him, concentrating so hard on making him feel good and getting lost in his own pleasure. He also loved the way he looked being split open on Michael’s cock, impact shocks rippling through his muscles as Michael drove into him hard from behind. The mirror was one of Alex’s favorite purchases for their place.

              Alex shook himself out of his daydream and grabbed the rope from the chair arm before standing up and walking over to where Michael was patiently waiting on him. He’d decided earlier that he was going to do a fairly simply chest harness since they’d be using the cock ring. He stood behind Michael’s back and after placing a couple brief kisses to his shoulder, started his work. He looped a couple lengths of rope over the top of Michael’s chest and around his back before going over his shoulders to create the harness straps. He worked quickly and methodically, checking the tautness of the rope and positioning before creating his locks. When he was satisfied with the harness, he brought Michael’s arms behind his backs, placing his wrists together before doing a single column tie to bind them. He finished with a square knot and checked in.

              “How does this feel? Is this okay?” he asked, running his fingers under the ropes and checking the security and placement. Michael moved his body and strained against the ropes for a moment before relaxing into their grip.

              “Yeah, it feels good,” he answered a little dreamily. Alex checked his eyes and could see that he’d dropped a little while Alex had been tying him up.

              “Turn around. I want you to see how good you look right now in the mirror,” Alex commanded, letting his fingers pinch Michael’s nipples before pushing gently as his shoulder to make him turn around. Michael shifted and turned, eyes looking over his reflection. Smiling to himself, Alex reached over to their dresser and grabbed the little porcelain bell he’d found at some estate sale Isobel had dragged them to. He pressed it into one of Michael’s hands, watching as he worked a finger inside the bell to keep the clapper still unless he needed it. Then Alex hooked his chin over Michael’s shoulder and looked with him for a moment before sliding his hands over his arms to his shoulders and pressing down. Michael got the hint and slowly lowered himself onto his knees. Alex combed his fingers through his curls, pulling gently and making Michael look up at him. His body had to arch due to the angle Alex held him at and he could tell when the prostate stimulator had started to press unrelentingly inside Michael because he gasped and his eyes fluttered before he could focus on Alex’s face.

              “You’re so fucking hot, Michael. I can’t wait to get your mouth on me,” Alex murmured, hands sliding down Michael’s chest, over the harness, and down to his nipples. He rubbed the pads of his fingers back and forth over them lightly at first and then with more pressure. Curling his fingers, he let his nails catch the blood flushed nubs as he lowered his face to claim Michael’s mouth in a searing kiss. The angle was wrong for anything more serious than the briefest touch of tongues, but when he backed off, Michael was breathing had picked up. Alex let him relax back to a neutral position, neck and back straight as he balanced on his knees.

              “How are you feeling, baby?” Alex asked, addressing Michael through the mirror.

              “Really good,” Michael replied, shifting a little and hips jumping at the movement which just made them jump again.

              “Anything hurt?” Alex asked next, waiting patiently for Michael to catalogue through what his body was feeling.

              “Nope. Everything’s good. I feel good. Just a little impatient,” Michael admitted, grinning at him cheekily.

              “Impatient?” Alex asked, raising an eyebrow and smirking at him.

              “Yeah, I thought you said you were going to gag me with your dick?” Michael replied, chuckling a little when Alex gave him a mock stern expression.

              “You are so impertinent. Maybe I should just go grab a ball gag and leave you here while I go jack off in the shower. Manners like that will get you nowhere with me,” Alex threatened. It was an empty threat. He might not let Michael come, but he wouldn’t leave him unattended while tied up and gagged with a cock ring on.

              “Noooo. I’m sorry, sir. I’m sorry. Please, fuck my face. I want to you to feed me your cock so bad, I just let my dick speak instead of my brain. Forgive me? Please?” Michael said, pouting at the threat of Alex not giving him what he wanted.

              “Shhh,” Alex hushed him, walking around to stand in front of Michael’s body. Alex had gone a little soft while tying Michael up, which was just to be expected when he was wholly concentrating on keeping his sub safe from any ill-placed or too tight rope, but he was still half hard in anticipation of what was coming next. He cupped his hands over Michael’s jaw and looked down at Michael’s face, beautiful and tan, and with a look of such need on it that Alex smiled softly.  “I want you to use your mouth to unzip me.”

              One of Michael’s eyebrows shot up and he grinned up at Alex before turning and kissing at Alex’s wrist. Alex moved his hands away from Michael’s jaw, but kept them near his shoulders so he didn’t topple if he got too enthusiastic. He watched Michael lean forward and kiss the tongue of the zipper, sucking it between his lips before latching onto it with his front teeth. He looked up through his half dry curls and caught Alex’s eyes, keeping contact while he tugged the zipped down and away from Alex’s body slowly. Alex felt blood rushing back into his cock from the sight and licked his lips in anticipation. When Michael had pulled the zipped as far as he could, he broke eye contact with Alex so he could look at the opening of Alex’s briefs. He moved and nosed the flaps of either side further away and attached his lips to the root of Alex’s cock.

              “That’s good, baby. Think you can get me out without help?” Alex asked, lust surging through him as he watched Michael start to lick his way up what he could get to of Alex’s length. If Michael’s cock was average length and girthy, Alex’s was slightly longer than average and curved. Michael moved his head, trying to push at the leather trapping the end of Alex’s cock against his hip, but the fabric was too stiff, the briefs too tight for much give. Alex let him try though, enjoying the building frustration on his face as he used his teeth to try to tug the fabric away from Alex’s body enough for his cock to be freed. Finally, sitting back on his heels Michael looked up at him with an irritated pout on his lips.

              “Yes, sir. Can you please help me?” he asked, tone bratty and petulant. Alex chuckled at the scowl on Michael’s face as he stared at Alex’s uncooperative briefs. Obligingly, Alex pushed at the leather on his hips, letting the briefs fall to his feet before carefully stepping out of them. Michael scowled down at the piece at Alex’s feet, showing pure irritation, but when he turned back to Alex, now naked and hard in front of him, his face transformed back into something like hunger.

              “Open up for me, Michael,” Alex directed as he gripped himself and positioned himself in front of Michael’s lips. Michael dropped his mouth open immediately, tongue sticking far enough out to cover his teeth as he waited for Alex to give him his cock. Alex pushed his hips forward, letting the tip glide onto Michael’s tongue. He watched Michael’s eyes close and what could only be described as an ecstatic expression transform his face as he wrapped his lips over Alex’s cock head and sucked. The heat and pressure of Michael’s mouth always made Alex’s knees weak and he had to give himself a minute to adjust to how good it felt every time he let Michael have him that way. Michael knew how much it affected Alex too and when Alex finally opened his eyes to look back down at Michael with his heavenly lips wrapped tightly around him, he caught the knowing look and twitch of his lips which meant Michael was mentally preening over the effect he had.

              “Remember, ring the bell if you need me to back off. Understood?” Alex checked, voice already tight with the need to feel the back of Michael’s throat. Michael nodded solemnly, keeping eye contact with him to let Alex know he understood, and then without further preamble, pushed forward and sank his mouth further down Alex’s cock. Alex moaned appreciatively, one hand reflexively going to the back of Michael’s head, fingers sinking into the curls. At first, he was just happy to let Michael do the work, sinking down on him over and over, lips tight with suction and tongue swirling around him. Soon, though, it wasn’t enough and he tightened his hand in Michael’s hair and began to guide his movements as he gave shallow thrusts forward into Michael’s mouth. Michael jaw slackened immediately as he relaxed to let Alex take the reins from him and happily, Alex deepened his thrusts.

              “Fuck, Michael, your mouth is goddamn miracle. You’re so good at this, baby,” Alex praised, holding Michael’s head close to feel him swallowing reflexively round him. He let him slide back, loving the drool that had started to push past his lips and the tears that gathered in his lashes. He was sloppy and beautiful and Alex had to give himself a sharp pinch to keep from blowing his load all over Michael’s face. Michael flushed under the praise, chest reddening with the effort of controlling his gag reflex and the blush of hearing Alex compliment him. Alex let him have a few breaths before starting to move him over his cock again, shallowly again so he could keep catching his breath. He sneaked a peek down Michael’s body and saw the dark spreading stain of precome on Michael’s panties. He was trying to keep his hips still as Alex moved him over his cock, but he could see the small hitches where the stimulator inside him rubbed him when he moved. Alex held Michael’s shoulder and withdrew from his mouth. Michael took in small gasps of air when Alex pulled back, but his eyes stayed on Alex’s cock, hunger and yearning on his features.

              “Stand up, Michael,” Alex commanded, helping Michael with his balance as he unsteadily got to his feet. Alex grabbed his chin to hold him still and he licked over Michael’s lips with a broad, flat tongue. He could taste himself and could feel the heat and blood in lips from being used by him. Then he kissed him, forcing his way in with tongue and teeth. Michael grunted and responded with the same fervor. Alex pushed his hand past the lace waistband of Michael’s panties and got his fish around Michael’s tortured cock. It was hot and sticky with precome and when Alex started stroking him, Michael made a sound somewhere on that wire’s edge between pleasure and pain. Alex let him go and moved his hands to his backside. He grabbed, squeezed, and spread Michael’s cheeks and pressed their bodies tight together, knowing it would rub Michael’s overly sensitive cock against the lace and his own stomach.

              “P-please!” Michael cried out, breaking the kiss in a harsh gasp. Alex stilled their bodies against each other, but his hands kept massaging Michael’s ass as he waited for him to continue. When he didn’t, merely groaned at Alex’s hands, he prompted him.

              “Please, what? What do you need, baby?” Alex asked, even though he felt like he knew. He moved one of hands into the space between Michael’s ass cheeks and pressed gently on the end of the prostate stimulator. A dry, choked sob escaped from Michael and Alex could feel him clenching and trembling against him.

              “I’m… so close right now,” Michael gasped, resting his head on Alex’s shoulder as he sucked in air.

              “Again?” Alex asked, not hiding the delight in his voice. Michael nodded wordlessly against him and Alex drew back his hand, bringing it up to rub soothingly against Michael’s lower back.

              “Ready for me to take off your cock ring and fuck you stupid?” Alex asked softly, kissing Michael’s neck and shoulder gently as he spoke. Michael let out a long, shuddering breath before responding.

              “Yes, please, sir,” he responded, voice pleading.

              “Do you want to stay tied up too or do I need to release you?” Alex asked, rubbing his hands over Michael’s forearms as he spoke. Michael took a moment and then shook his head.

              “You sure, baby? It’s okay if you don’t want it,” Alex assured him, kissing his ear and jaw as he backed off so he could catch Michael’s eye. Michael looked at him and shook his head again.

              “No, sir. Leave it on, please,” Michael asked. He looked so earnest that Alex took his word for it. He kissed his mouth in the same soft way he’d kissed his neck and jaw.

              “Okay, baby. I’ll leave them on. Think I can take the cock ring off now without you coming?” Alex asked, glancing down at Michael’s red, leaking cock between them.

              “Yes, sir. I think I’m okay now. Thank you.”

              Alex stepped back and bent over to push the panties all the way down Michael’s legs. Michael stepped out of them and let his legs spread so Alex could have access to him. Gently Alex took the cock ring off in the reverse order in which he’d put it on. He gently pulled out the prostate stimulator, noting Michael’s keening whine as he did. Then he stretched the ring around his balls and gently worked it off before doing the same with the ring around Michael’s cock. Michael was breathing heavily through his mouth again, eyes dark and body tight as he fought to control himself.

              “I’ll be right back,” Alex said, pressing his palm to Michael’s cheek and kissing his lips gently when his breathing had calmed again. Michael’s head canted into his palm and Alex kissed him again before withdrawing and going into the bathroom. He tossed the cock ring into the sink and grabbed Michael’s towel from earlier. He came back to where Michael was standing and laid the towel on the floor at his feet. Michael watched him curiously as he went and grabbed the small back pillow he used in his dressing chair and then grabbed the tub of lube from earlier.

              “I want to fuck you in front of the mirror, Michael. Are you okay with that?” Alex asked after placing the items on the floor next to the towel. Michael grinned at him and kneeled down onto the towel. He started to push forward to rest his weight on his shoulder like he’d done earlier, but Alex stopped him with a hand. “Not yet, love. I’ll put you where I want you.”

              Michael swallowed and nodded, letting his body relax as Alex leaned on the edge of the bed and took off his prosthetic. His leg was starting to bother him a little after all the standing he’d been doing plus the full day of wearing it so he placed it to the side and went ahead and took off the socks and liners for it. He did a quick per functionary check of his residual limb to make sure it wasn’t in need of any immediate attention from him. Satisfied, he slid down to the ground and crawled over to where Michael was waiting for him. He positioned his body behind Michael’s and wrapped his arms around his torso, pulling their bodies together. He caught Michael’s eye in the mirror and smiled.

              “We look so fucking good together,” Alex commented. He’d situated them to there they were in profile instead of looking at the mirror head on. He wanted Michael to be able to watch as he fucked him and with his arms tied it was too much of a risk to get him to try to look straight ahead while he pounded him from behind. Michael hummed his agreement while looking at them. Alex grabbed the tub of lube and scooped out some with his fingers. He bent and kissed Michael’s shoulder while he moved his fingers to his hole.

              “I know you’ve had something in you already, but I wanna make sure you’re stretched enough for me,” Alex explained. Michael hummed and tilted his hips, pushing them back against the gentle pressure of Alex’s fingers. Alex pushed in, glad he’d checked because Michael had tightened up a little. The prostate stimulator wasn’t huge like a plug, so it was only right that Michael’s muscles had regained their normal elasticity. Michael groaned at the feeling of being stretched again and Alex reached around his body to stroke his manhood as he fingerfucked him slowly. He backed off and added a third finger, pushing his way into Michael’s body slowly before flexing and shifting his fingers inside of him. Michael ground his hips down on Alex’s fingers and let out the smallest sigh of what sounded like relief.

              “Okay. Go ahead and lean forward. I’m going to put the pillow under your head so you don’t get carpet burn on your cheek,” Alex instructed. He watched Michael get into position and Alex slid the pillow under Michael’s head. When Michael was settled, Alex grab a little more of the lube and coated himself with it before shuffling forward and lined himself up with Michael’s hole. He rubbed his cock across it, teasing, putting pressure against his reddened pucker and then backing off. Michael whined and Alex met his eyes in the mirror with a silent warning. “Do you want to come, Michael?”

              “Yes, please,” Michael answered, arching his back and pushing his hips towards Alex.

              “Then be good for me,” Alex said evenly as he continued to tease Michael’s hole. He started to push forward with purpose, letting the head of his cock sink in a little past the rim before backing off. He did it again, pushing a little further before backing off again. The next slow thrust had his head popping fully inside the tight ring of muscle which Michael squeezed lightly as he panted and moaned against the pillow under his cheek. Alex decided to torture him a little. He left his cock where it was with only the tip inside the hot clutch of Michael’s body and then he used one hand on Michael’s lower back to hold his body steady while the other came up to start stroking along the length he’d left outside.

              “What if I just did this, Michael? Just kept you still and filled you with my come, but didn’t fuck you? What do you think of that idea?” Alex asked, watching Michael’s expression grow tortured as he watched Alex’s hand work himself while Michael remained unfilled. The idea was one that Alex actually found hot, his body flushing with the idea of filling Michael with load after load of come and just plugging him up. He could do it a few times throughout the day until Michael was desperate to feel him buried to his balls inside of him.

              “Please, sir. I need your cock in me. Please,” Michael begged, face flushed with need as his eyes remained glued on Alex’s hand.

              “My cock is in you, Michael. Isn’t this what you wanted?” Alex teased before drawing back and fucking back in just as shallowly as before. Michael hiccupped a dry sob and he finally looked into Alex’s eyes through the mirror.

              “It’s so good, sir. You feel so good, but it’s not enough. Please, sir, I wanna feel…” his breath caught in his throat and Alex watched him swallow thickly before continuing,”… I wanna feel your balls pounding against my taint, sir. I wanna feel you all day tomorrow, feel where you were deep inside me… Please, sir. Please fuck me like that.”

              “Oh, baby,” Alex responded indulgently. He leaned over Michael’s back and pushed himself fully inside Michael in one long, slow thrust. When he felt his balls brushing Michael’s perineum, he stilled. “How can I deny a request like that?”

              Michael’s eyes were closed, and his mouth was open in a silent ‘O’. He looked like he was in the best kind of pain. Alex started to pull back and Michael’s face changed again, still that ecstatic mix of need and fulfillment, and it made Alex feel reckless knowing he’d done that to him. Alex began to build a hard, deep rhythm as he pulled almost all the way out and then pushed his way back into Michael’s willing body. The slapping of their skin filled the room, bright over the chorus of their intermingled gasps and moans. Alex could see Michael’s weeping cock swaying from between his legs in the mirror. Alex grasped at Michael’s hips and tilted them, changing the angle just enough for him to start brushing over his already sensitive prostate.

              “Alex!” Michael shouted, his body pushing back into the new angle as Alex started to thrust into Michael harder and quicker. He could see the concentration in Michael’s face and knew he must be close to coming again.

              “You can come when you need to, baby. It’s okay to let go,” Alex huffed through his exertions, feeling his own end quickly approaching. Something in Michael relaxed and Alex could see that he wasn’t fighting his body anymore, but letting sensation take whatever toll it wanted. Alex shortened his thrusts, but kept them sharp as he reached around to get his hand around Michael’s cock. It didn’t take too many pulls before Michael’s body was tensing around him, almost painfully tight, and Michael was shooting onto the towel beneath his body. Alex kept rocking into him, knowing that as many times as he’d been edged Michael’s orgasm was likely to last a little longer than normal. Alex milked him through it, kissing his arms and shoulders as he felt Michael melt beneath him. When he relaxed, almost boneless under Alex’s weight, Alex drew back and began to pull out of him, intending to jerk himself off to finish with his load striped over Michael’s well used hole, but a needy whine from Michael stopped him.

              “Please, sir… I want you to finish inside me. I can take it,” he said, eyes glassy and dreamy. With slow movements, he raised his body back into position for Alex to keep going at him.

              “You sure?” Alex asked, petting Michael’s flank as he looked him in the eyes. Michael swallowed and nodded.

              “Yes, I’m sure. Please, daddy, I want you to,” Michael moaned, once again pushing his hips back begging for Alex to fuck him. Alex didn’t know why, but Michael’s soft ‘daddy’ made all remaining blood in his body shoot straight to his cock. It was his turn to swallow as he tried to calm down enough not to bust on his first thrust.

              “Okay, baby. I got you,” he managed finally. He started up a new rhythm. He kept it fluid with more of a roll in his hips as he pistoned in and out of Michael’s body. He could hear Michael’s deep moans of pleasure, but he didn’t see the expression on his face. Alex’s eyes had fluttered shut as he chased his own orgasm, body tightening and speeding its way along. He thought about how Michael had looked gagged on his cock, how his panties had been practically soaked with precome, how he’d begged and squirmed for his cock, and then the soft ‘daddy’ he’d let out when he begged him to keep going, to empty himself inside Michael’s body. It took Michael tightened around him again, apparently rocked by another small orgasm as Alex had sought to lose himself, for his body to tumble over and let go. He shook against Michael’s back, sensation blinding him for a minute, before he came back to himself.

              He reached forward and undid the knotted ropes. His biggest concern was getting Michael’s arms free first while he calmed his body down. He unwrapped his wrists slowly and helped Michael maneuver them from behind his back. He looked down between them at where he was still buried in Michael’s body, slowly softening inside of him. Regretfully, he pulled out with a slight hiss. He’d loved to have just stayed in, falling asleep spooned against Michael’s back on the floor of their bedroom, but the rope harness needed to be untied and discarded.

              “Think you can sit up? I’m going to get the rest of this harness off you and then we can get into bed and cuddle for a while. Sound good?” Alex asked, rubbing his hands up and down Michael’s back with gentle pressure. Michael hummed out a sound that seemed like approval and then using his newly freed arms, pushed himself to sit back on his heels. Alex immediately wrapped his arms around him and held him against his chest.  

“You did so good, Michael. You were amazing. I’m so proud of you,” Alex whispered against his neck, hugging him close. Michael’s hands wrapped around his wrists and he sighed happily at the attention. After a minute or two, Alex pulled back and started unwinding the rest of the harness. When he was done, he tossed the rope up onto the dresser and then wrapped Michael in his arms again.

“Do you wanna move up to the bed with me?” Alex asked, differentially. Michael sighed and looked up at the bed longingly.

“Yeah, let’s get up there,” Michael answered, squeezing Alex’s arms reassuringly. They untangled themselves and Alex moved to the dresser to pull himself into a standing position. Michael handed him his crutches and then moved to crawl onto the bed, laying on his stomach and cuddling his pillow. Alex followed him, grabbing a throw from the end of the bed, before climbing on and snuggling up behind Michael, spreading the blanket over them. Michael turned and buried his head into Alex’s chest, legs intertwining with Alex’s under the blanket and arms wrapping around him.

“Do you feel less noisy now?” Alex asked, combing his fingers through Michael’s curls and kissing the crown of his head. Michael hummed appreciatively and kissed Alex’s chest.

“So quiet now. Thank you,” he mumbled, snuggling his body infinitesimally closer.

“Good. You want to take a nap for a little bit before clean up?” Alex asked, his hands rubbing over Michael’s arms and back as if he trying to keep him warm.

“Yeah. Naps good. Love you,” Michael said, body already halfway to sleep.

“Love you too, baby.” Alex whispered, not sure Michael heard him, but sure that he knew how Alex felt.

[xxlittle0birdxx]

WIP: All That Remains Is Faith and Hope: The Wall

Jaime had barely closed the door behind him when Brienne confronted him. ‘I’m coming with you.’

Jaime worked his cloak over his head and draped it on a peg in the wall. ‘Brienne…’

‘I want to go with you.’

Jaime unbuckled his sword belt and handed it to Brienne, showing what he considered to be a remarkable amount of faith that she wouldn’t immediately castrate him with it when he replied, ‘You can’t.’

‘So you forbid me to go?’ she asked stiffly, placing his sword in the rack, glaring at him.

Jaime let out a bark of laughter as he began to undress, shivering slightly in the chill air of the room. ‘I can no more forbid you to do anything than I could ask my father to accept Tyrion as his heir.’ He draped his shirt over the back of a chair. ‘I would ask that you stay here.’

‘I’m a better fighter than you,’ Brienne insisted.

‘I am expendable. You are not,’ Jaime countered, removing his trousers.

‘That is not true,’ Brienne argued. Not to me, she wanted to say. Instead, she added, ‘You’re the heir to Casterly Rock…’

Jaime used the end of his hook to flip back the furs on the bed. ‘If I die, then it will be a good death. Fulfilling a vow, even. That Tormund fellow says there are women and children trapped in the settlement.’ He slid under the furs. ‘If I die, then Tyrion will inherit the Rock. Or perhaps one of Tommen’s children will. Or… someone else will. Let Uncle Kevan have the bloody thing. One of my cousins. I don’t bloody care about the Rock. But the fact remains that you are your father’s only heir.’ Jaime removed his hook and set it aside. ‘I need you to look after Tyrion and Sansa. I don’t trust Alliser Thorne any further than I can climb the Wall. Besides, they’re your family, too,’ he reminded her. Brienne’s expression didn’t change, but blazing light in her eyes faded as she remembered her vow to Catelyn Stark to see to her daughters’ safety. She nodded once and Jaime heaved an internal sigh of relief. Brienne was a better fighter than he, but he wasn’t entirely certain he could put forth an adequate effort if she fought next to him. It wasn’t that he thought she couldn’t handle herself in battle. He knew she would inflict serious damage on an enemy. Jaime also knew he didn’t want to see her die at the hands of something described to be utterly soulless and mindless. He patted the empty space on the mattress next to him. ‘Come to bed, wench.’ Jaime rolled onto his stomach, watching intently as Brienne methodically undressed. He let his eyes linger over her still-flat middle, wondering if she carried his child. Were her slight breasts rounder? He couldn’t tell in the flickering light of the fire. Of course, he reasoned, she could be drinking moon tea without his knowledge as a way to rebel against the life thrust upon her by his father. But that was too underhanded and dishonest for Brienne.

She slipped under the furs and pressed her chilled body against his. Jaime shifted until she straddled him, his hand cradling her cheek. He canted his hips upward in a wordless question that she answered with grazing fingertips, her sigh as he surged into her the only sound in the room.

***

‘You should sleep,’ Brienne murmured against Jaime’s mouth.

‘Later,’ he told her. He twined his fingers through her sword hand, thumb skimming over the calluses, recalling their early days together in the Riverlands, and his cruel remarks, mocking the code by which she lived. By the time they had returned to King’s Landing, he’d come to admire her for it. Brienne adhered to the ideas of knighthood because she believed in them, even in the face of the insults of others. It had inspired him to rediscover them for himself. He’d gifted her with a sword worthy of a knight on the occasion of their marriage, but now, on the cusp of what might be certain death, he had another gift to give. ‘Did you know any knight can make another knight?’ he asked with studied casualness, smoothing a lock of hair from her eyes.

‘So?’ Brienne’s brows drew together in bemusement.

Jaime left the cocoon of warmth in the bed and padded to the rack that held their swords. He pulled his from the scabbard and used it to the point at a spot on the hearth. ‘Do you still wish to be a knight, Lady Brienne?’

He looked absurd, standing in front of the fire, completely naked, hair a messy tangle, an unsheathed sword in his hand. But Brienne couldn’t detect a hint of mockery in his face or voice. Still, she sat up and pulled her knees to her chest. ‘You shouldn’t make jests about that,’ she replied, in clear disapproval.

‘Do you want to be a knight or not?’ He gestured with the sword again. ‘Kneel, Lady Brienne.’

Brienne remained in the bed, so still she might have been carved from the blue-veined marble for which Tarth was known. Jaime nodded, and Brienne set her feet on the floor and slid slowly from the bed. She approached Jaime, then slowly knelt on one knee in front of him. The cold Valyrian steel kissed her right shoulder. ‘In the name of the Warrior, I charge you to be brave.’ Brienne thought it ought to have felt ridiculous with the both of them naked as their nameday, while Jaime spoke the words that would grant her one of her dearest wishes. He lifted it and let it land lightly upon her left shoulder. ‘In the name of the Father, I charge you to be just.’ Brienne could scarcely breathe, her eyes locked with Jaime’s. Once more the sword settled on her right shoulder. ‘In the name of the Mother, I charge you to defend the innocent.’ Jaime voice roughened with tightly checked emotion and cracked. She knew then why he had chosen to go to this place beyond the Wall. To defend the innocent. He cleared his throat. ‘Arise, Ser Brienne of Tarth, a knight of the Seven Kingdoms.’

Brienne stood, taking Jaime’s face between her hands. His hand closed around her wrist, thumb stroking over the pulse that beat there. ‘No one will ever believe me,’ she told him, resting her forehead against his.

[the-summermoon]

They had reached Ishgard at a decent hour that day, and with the biting cold setting into her bones, she kept herself against him as they walked together to stave off the cold of the snow.  His bodily warmth was always such a welcome comfort when it came to their closeness, and now it was an absolute necessity though a very eagerly-received one.  Her arms wrapped around his elbow, one of her hands threaded through his.  She rested her head against his bicep, his height dwarfing her as they continued to trudge through the white powder.  Lian rested his hand upon Kyna’s as they walked along, holding the woman close to his form to ward off the worst of the wind that their home had become known for.  “I seldom stop to really look, but it’s really quite lovely, isn’t it?” he asked when they neared the city’s edge and could peer down into the darkness below.  Stretched out before them were impossibly high towers, snow-covered peaks and plans that had once been covered in lush green grass.

“Indeed, especially when the moon reflects upon the snow.  I remembered spending quite a bit of time within the parapets just keeping my eyes open for anything reptilian.  Thank Halone I was never required to bear arms and armor like my sister has a knack for doing.  Even yourself, I’m sur eit was quite cumbersome with being so frigid out here,” she uttered quietly as they had come to a stop to admire the view around them.  Lianthis nodded thoughtfully, working her arms free in favor of moving around behind her since they were standing still and drinking in their surroundings.  His arms slid around her waist, drawing her back against his warm chest, folding her up into the armor of his embrace.  “I’m glad you never had to do so, sweetling,” he murmured as he held her close.  “You become...accustomed to the cold.  The way the plate and chain stick together with the frost or the way it constantly permeates your armor...even sitting beside a fire, you’re never warm.”

Kyna canted her head to look up at him as she leaned more into his embrace, not so much for warmth this time but for the comfort that his arms around her was providing.  “Love, you’ll never have to know what that feels like ever again.  Hopefully everything we can manage gives me the opportunity to take care of you as I wish to.  Mother and Father make certain to spend quite a bit just to provide supplies, food, or anything else those in the midst of Coerthas need,” she promised as her viridian eyes turned once more to the environment surrounding them.  “I can only hope that, come what may, nothing interrupts what we’ve been able to retrieve from such a broken past.  The greatest gift I could’ve received this Starlight Celebration is knowing that you were still alive...and even more so now that you’re mine,” she continued to confess.

Lian chuckled softly at her words,” I still have to sleep in the mud on occasion.  Some of the places my work takes me are places that I would never subject you to, but...the warmth I feel knowing that you’re waiting for me will help me get through those times.”  His confidence was a welcome presence within her ears and mind.  “I can’t foresee anything legitimate that would step in and interrupt what is happening between us, Kyna.  The wheels of fate are ever turning and where once I’ve lost you, we’ve randomly been reunited.  That we should meet in such a random place in such unusual circumstances is strange enough, but for both of us to be unwed or in any serious relationship on top of that?  The Gods have been kind.”   He leaned down a bit to capture her upturned lips with a kiss.  “My interest was once made known to your father; it shouldn’t come as any surprise when it now comes around full circle, my love.”

Kyna returned that kiss happily.  “To be truthfully honest with you...Syla was completely floored.  She had heard the most awful rumors when that horrid incident happened to you.  I hadn’t deduced or even pieced together that what had happened was related to the deaths in the Brume.  Father had started making and active effort to begin looking for you, only because Syla and I, most especially me, had noticed how quite absent you were and it sent me into a form of panic I couldn’t even begin to describe,” she confessed barely above a whisper.  She stole another kiss from him.  “You’ve always been so skilled’ so I hadn’t any worry that, should violence had broken out, that you would’ve been able to protect yourself and well.  However, be all of this as it may, I had not given up hope, but I started to believe that you might've found peace elsewhere and it truly took my mind quite a journey to come to some serenity.  Syla has seen me cry very little in our entire lifetime, only because I’ve never wished to burden my family with the raving emotions I can fall prey to at times’ but when we finally heard about your family’s exile, I don’t believe I had ever wept so much.  I couldn’t believe what had happened, and we still never had the complete tale of everything that had befallen you.”

Lian reached up and gently stroked her cheek, his cold nose nuzzling into the other cheek so he could inhale the pleasant scent of her hair.  “Father was furious when he earned that we would remain neutral and not get involved in the fight for Eorzea,” he explained.  “But, he didn’t force us to leave.  He gave the rest of my family the option to either follow or stay behind, knowing full well that the other houses would vote to exile us for going against the direction of the Archbishop. Mother refused to have any part of it and I believe was taken in by distant relatives.  I’m pleased that she was able to live out the remainder of her days peacefully and even though she picked her noble life over her family, I harbor no ill will,” he briefly paused, as if searching back through the memories in his mind.  We joined our Gridanian cousins and served with distinction, having to earn our way into the good graces of a mistrusting society.  We put everything that we’ d worked so hard for and the promising lives we had in Ishgard behind to serve a greater purpose.  My father had only just entered negotiations with your father at my request so we could come to some formal agreement that would benefit both of our houses and still allow me to claim your hand,” a faint smile suddenly began to touch his lips.  “My deepest regret was walking away and leaving a life with you behind, and yet...here we are.”

Kyna smiled as she closed her eyes at his touch.  “My brother Cyrenneaux...you may not remember him as he’s quite a bit older than I, but he had the same mentality and so did Father.  Once they closed off the gates, they both felt we were being condemned to a life of absolute isolation and thought it complete folly to walk away from those who could’ve been our allies in rebuilding a stronger Ishgard,” she murmured as her tone was a bit condemning.  Her voice and demeanor suddenly changed for the happier as she looked up at him.  “Just make note that I don’t believe whatsoever in coincidences, my love.  Such beliefs are left for those who would rather remain blissfully ignorant to a more stable truth and I believe there is a reason for everything.  being here with you now, though we’ve lost a bit of time, I’m older, wiser, and have a better understanding of the things I wish to have in life.  I had to learn to place selfishness and pride in a place where they could no longer dictate who I was and so I believe that I had to move forward with the idea that I was not ready for you.  I was not the person I needed to be for you right then, and I had to “get myself right” with the world before I could ever be worthy of your love.  I truly honestly believe that.  In addition to all of that, I believe that fate had to lead us down the paths we traveled so we could better appreciate what was right in front of us all along.”

“Perhaps you’re right, my heart.  I hold firm to the idea that you and I would have been fine had we married those years ago; I’m not much older than you and at the time, not much more mature.  We probably both needed to grow up, fate simply dictated that we would mature separately rather than face those trials together.  I don’t believe we’re any poorer for having taken the long way around, I’m just glad that the path ultimately led me back to you,” he paused again, looking down into those beautiful emeralds once more.  “I’ll have this discussion with your father, but you’re a far more worldly woman now then you were back then and you don’t need him to speak for you.  I’d ask you first, because I want it to be your choice.  I love you, Kyna; always have.  I wonder if you’d do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

Kyneirra looked upon him in shock as he settled himself before her upon one knee, producing one of the most beautiful rings she had ever laid eyes upon.  It was a wooden geometrical band with a brilliant diamond cut emerald in the middle that had been polished with a bit of gold upon the sides.  “Wh-What?  Y--You truly wish this?”

“You cannot truly be surprised, Kyna.  This has been in the works for some time now,” he smiled gently, the box and ring outstretched to her.

“B-But I am!  In all my years, I’m completely surprised.  Yes it’s truly all I ever wanted but -- a-are you sure this is what you want as well?”  Her uncertainty only came over her as she couldn’t believe what was happening.  Happiness. Joy. Fear. It all washed over her like high tide upon the cliffs of La Noscea.  She looked up at him with slightly confused eyes, tears pooling in them as the one insecurity that had always ran rampant within her mind was surfacing and making itself known.  “I-I love you also, and have for so very long,” she murmured.

Lian smiled as he eased a bit closer and bumped his nose against her own, a gesture that all but oozed affection.  “I’m not suggesting that we marry right off, Kyneirra.  But yes, I’m quite serious.  My father didn’t initiate negotiations with yours on his own, my heart.  I asked him to speak to your father on my behalf because I wanted -you-.”

She immediately buried her auburn head into his chest, nodding.  “Yes, yes I will marry you, oh my days our lives are finally coming full circle again,” she spoke as she cried her happy tears, voice muffled by the cloak he had wrapped around himself.  He was quite overjoyed himself to hear her accept, and lifted her from her feet as he clung to her, spinning her around happily as he smothered her in kisses.  “Then we’ll make it so, Kyna.  This will from now on be our forever to mold and create as we see fit.”