#i cant for the life of me get a grasp on korean

[birbfeeder2artisticboogaloo]

still watching under the queen's umbrella

things are getting out of hand

i would die for the queen, she's amazing

BUT THEY'RE GOING TO HURT MY FAV. THEY ATTACKED MY ANGEL. SO WHAT IF HE LIKES WEARING A DRESS AND MAKEUP SOMETIMES. SCREW U LOT, HE LOOKS BEAEUTIFUL AND UR UST MAD THAT HES PRETTIER THAN U.

NNOOOOOO ARE THEY KILLING HIM??!?!?!?! NOOOO MY BABY, MY ANGEL, MY FAV, U LEAVE HWAN-AH ALONE!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

someone pls save my fav ;A; IS SOMEONE GONNA SAVE MY FAV??? ALLOW ME SOME HOPE PLS???

[mint-yooxgi]

LOOK IM SO GODDAMN MAD SO IMA RANT TO YOU LIKE OKAY I CARE SO MUHC ABOUT KPOP IDOLS OKAY AND I KNOW THE LIFE IS HARD BUT LIKE I CANT DEAL WITH SO MANY GOOD PPL LEAVING THEIR GROUPS FIRST WOOJIN NOW WONHO AND I WANNA FUCKING DIE

So I got this ask a few hours ago, and I originally didn’t really know how to respond. To be quite honest, I still don’t. That being said, I can understand your frustrations anon, but I can’t fully agree with you here.

Your feelings are valid, and I'm not simply answering this in an attempt to push your feelings aside. However, this message just doesn’t still right with me.

To put it bluntly, to me, your message comes across as if you are saying, “despite the hardships Kpop idols face, and the mental, physical, and emotional strains that some of them undergo, they should just learn to suck it up cause I don’t want them to leave their groups/terminate their contract before it’s due.”

Whether or not this is your intention of this ask, this is my interpretation, hence why it doesn’t sit right with me. I’m sure this is not what you mean, but wording can be very tricky to me, and I am always cautious of the way I word things, and how I intemperate the words of others.

I understand you care about your idols. As do I. As do many fans. The best thing we can do during these times, is offer support and be understanding of their decisions.

Yes, the life is hard. The life is extremely hard, and I don’t think a lot of people truly grasp this concept. Please understand that the entire process of becoming an idol doesn’t just stop once an idol debuts. I would argue that it just gets harder from there. Not only do idols now have to face the glaring review and scrutiny under the public eye, but they also have to face the scrutiny and rules of their company, including all those who fall under the company whether it be fellow idols, trainers, or CEOs.

What many don’t understand, is that Korea is a heavily military influenced culture, meaning a lot of their training runs like a military regime. Not only is it severely strict, but it is also severely demanding. 

Additionally, after debut, idols are constantly in a spotlight of sorts, which depends on how popular a group is. Many new idol groups debut within a year, yet only a select few actually make it past their first year, and move on to actually make a name for themselves in the industry. So, not only do they have the pressure of debuting, they are continually pressured by their companies to do well. There is always a need to strive for greatness, to become better, until eventually, you are the best. However, there will always be someone better.

The increasing competition only serves to make it increasingly difficult for newer acts. Not to mention how the public will receive and view these new groups.

Being under the scrutiny of the public eye can be seriously taxing. Korea has a very strict culture in which a majority of the population views certain acts, such as drinking, smoking, and improper conduct, as immature, repulsive, or a bad influence. So, not only are idols constantly being attacked by antis or sasaengs, they are constantly under the pressure to perform their best, act their best, be their best. That pressure can become unbearable at times.

In order to do well in the public eye, one must be charismatic, and always be on their best behaviour to perform properly and make good impressions. No one will want to work with an idol who is moody, or considered rude. This also affects how well a group does after debut. Music shows, radio shows, etc., aren’t going to want to book a group who is viewed negatively in the public eye, or considered rude, for people will not want to associate with them.

Not to mention the constant ideal of always having to look ‘perfect’ all the time. As you probably know, Korean beauty standards are very strict, so if one does not fit into the specific image of beauty that society has deemed appropriate, one can be ridiculed or attacked for their appearance. That only adds to the already enormous pressure already placed on idols to always be, and look their best.

Another thing that can be extremely important in Korea and Korean culture is endorsements. This ties back into my previous point of needing to be perceived well in the public eye. If one has a good image, one can obtain endorsements which further promote the idol or idol group in said endorsement. This adds to a popularity of a group. Doing something bad or being perceived in a negative way can not only negatively effect the group, but the idol could also loose their endorsement, and possibly never be able to use that promotional opportunity again. So, you can understand the pressure placed on them to always appear as their ideal selves.

This can all take a toll on oneself. Not only the physical toll from often times extreme schedules, but an emotional and mental toll as well. I don’t know how much you know of Korean culture, but mental health is not too popular a topic. It is not freely advertised in public. Many of the older generation still views mental illness as a taboo subject, and some even deny the existence of such conditions. Not only that, but as far as I know, there are not too many options of treating mental health efficiently that are offered in Korea at the moment. Even if one does seek help, again, it is viewed as taboo by the older generation (as far as I know), and people assume there is something wrong with you. In short, mental health is not something openly talked about easily in Korea.

Now, imagine the emotional toll this can take on someone. The constant pressure of having to appear ‘perfect’ all the time. The rigorous training and practice, not to mention some of the schedules idols are put through. Many do not have time to themselves. They have their fans to think about. They have their group to think about. They have the company to think about. They have the public to think about. I wouldn’t be surprised if at some times, they don’t even have time to think about themselves.

“But Jackie, idols know this when they agree to become trainees,”

Yes, and no. Yes, they may get told how hard it will be. Yes, they may get told about the difficult road that lays before them if and only if they can make it all the way to debut. But no one tells them of the mental and emotional toll that this life can take on them.

Sometimes, even though you are upset about your fav leaving their group, take a moment to just sit back, and breathe. Think about the good times and happy memories you have had with them while they were in the group. It’s not the end of the world, believe me. I know it can be difficult, but sometimes this is for the best.

The best thing we can do is love and support our idols no matter what they choose to do. We don’t always know the full story. We don’t always get to see the truth.

We, as fans, should strive to understand our idols, and support them in their times of need. After all, there are much worse things than an idol simply leaving their group. This doesn’t mean their career has stopped. At this point, it is up to them to choose what to do, whether they want to continue in the spotlight after some time off, or retire completely, is up to them.

I’d rather see idols take time off for themselves, because I don’t know about you, but the other alternative is much worse in my opinion. 

And whether the last part of your statement is true or not, anon, joking about it isn't the way to go.

[baebbaeby]

(NCT) Boyfriend!Jungwoo

Hey hi hello I’ve been extra soft for jungwoo lately so this happened

but also this is my first time writing anything like this so pls bear with me

ok so let me start off by saying jungwoo is gonna be the softest cutest most loving bf ever ok 

like i imagine him confessing to you by giving you a single rose or flower with a note that says I like you

and then he says it to you with his soft shy voice

and he’s blushing

and even if you didn’t like him like that 

but also how dare you why wouldnt you!! look at this fluffball!!

so even if you turned him down he’d still be so sweet to you he’d give you your space bc he’d never want you to feel uncomfortable

and he would still talk to you even if it hurt him a little bit and he’d still want to be friends

ugh my heart

ANYWAYS SO IF YOU SAY YES BC YOU WILL BC WHO WOULDNT

he’d be so happy like he already has the sweetest smile but somehow it would get even sweeter but he’d also get so flustered like omg they said yES

when you guys part ways i can actually see this man jumping up and down bc he cant contain himself omg

holding his burning cheeks bc he can’t believe you said yes

alright mel cmon get to the boyfriend stuff

OK SO LIKE I SAID BOYFRIEND JUNGWOO = SWEETEST PERSON ON EARTH

LIKE IDK HOW THIS BOY COULD GET MORE SWEET BUT HE JUST WOULD OK 

randomly getting flowers at your door with little love notes

maybe even poems??

idk if he writes lyrics or if he wants but if he does u beT HE’S WRITING U SOME CHEESY LOVE SONG LYRICS AND SINGING THEM TO U WITH HIS ANGEL VOICE

omg i need to talk about his voice like idk what it is

but just imagine jungwoo calling your name so softly

i just gave myself chills what the-

and then he cups your cheek with his hand and gently rubs his thumb under your eye

he loves touching your face and when he stares at you it feels like he’s looking straight into your soul

i feel like he’d really like eyes like he’d always want to hold eye contact with you even if it made both of you flustered in the beginning

bc your eyes are just so beautiful and they have the whole world in them omg

and then he leans in for the softest kiss to ever exist on the earth

and its just filled with such a pure love

like he cant actually grasp the fact of how much he loves you its just so overwhelming bc he loves you so goddamn much

so i feel like if he bought you presents they would really have to mean something you know bc he’s already randomly giving you flowers whenever he wants to

so if you guys were that gross couple (im not gonna lie... yall would be) that has their couple songs he would totally make that mixtape for u

i can also see him like remembering something in a store that you looked at and was like ‘oh thats nice i want that’ but u didnt get it

and then he gets it for u even if its a little expensive

but it would have to be for a really big occasion like an anniversary or birthday bc im sure he would just stockpile meaningful presents to give you and shower you with them on those days

idk im trying to express that he wouldnt just buy stuff for you all the time (except flowers) but when he does buy it it comes from the bottom of his heart and it would mean something special in your relationship ya feel?

anyways

he would live and breathe for you i legit think everything he did would be for you

which also isn’t exactly healthy so you’re gonna have to be like heY whoa okay you need to go hang out with mark or something ok pls think about yourself and your needs

“but you’re a part of me”

okaY BUT U NEED TO TAKE MORE CARE OF YOURSELF TOO

“but by taking care of you i’m taking care of me”

junGWOO

anyways

i feel like this boy could make anything romantic like even if you guys went to a restaurant with bad service and bad food and it ruined the date he’d pay and get you guys out of there asap and go and get some ice cream with you instead

cause he’s not letting a stupid restaurant get in the way of his precious time with you

so you guys would stroll down next to a river or down some nice cobblestone streets ( idk im imagining its night time and there’s those fairy lights in the trees and around lampposts oK)

just laughing and talking and the bad experience would be out of your mind in no time

maybe stopping to watch some street performers

literally just enjoying your time together

will hold your hand for as long as you let him

and if you were foreign/spoke another language other than korean

YOU BET HE’S GONNA START EAGERLY LEARNING IT FOR YOU

AND EVEN IF HE SUCKS EVEN IF HE’S EMBARRASSED HE’S STILL GONNA USE IT AT THE MOST RANDOM TIMES

he’d also combine it with korean and create the cutest merged language eveR

if yall saw the boss mv commentary yall know what im talking abt when he said ‘me’도 잘 and combined english and korean ahsnjdkn i cried

anyways this boy would just be so pure and full of love for you so pls treasure him forever but also remember to make him take care of himself too ok? ok

i hope this was ok but also i gave myself the feels time to cry abt my single life while eating chocolate

[namariea]

Hello, Neighbor | V

Since moving in you have compiled a comprehensive list on your mysterious neighbor across the way.

Do Kyungsoo, otherwise known as Asian Bobby Flay and apparently Bruno Mars’ protégé.

Pairing: Kyungsoo x Reader

Words: 3.4 k

Genre: Fluff

Previous: I II III IV

The coffee shop by the apartment was bustling with life, the endless stream of customers eager to get their caffeine fix.

An easy jazz tune filled the gaps between the chatter in the room but tucked away in the back corner, no amount of smooth saxophone could ease the tenseness in your body. You hung your head in your hands over the table, silently having an existential crisis as the figure across from you hummed in contemplation.

“So let me get this straight….and feel free to stop me if I go astray” Seulgi started, her voice slightly wistful, paying almost no mind to your despair.

You grunted.

“For the past month that you have been living in your apartment, you have been having sporadic encounters with the guy living across from you”

Grunt.

“During that time, you thought nothing of those moments except for about two weeks ago when you apparently saw him looking … how was it you described it…. Ah, like Korean Adonis”

Your head slipped lower in your hands.

Grunt. “And since said moment, rather than simply asking the boy why he was dressed like some incubus you decided the logical path to take would be to just never look at him again. By keeping your curtains closed for the past two weeks in an attempt at avoiding him…”

…

“Are you an idiot?”

Slipping from your grasp, you let your forehead crash into the table with an audible thud. People around turned and glanced quizzically in your direction, but you paid them no mind, starting a rhythmic smashing of your face against the surface. You heard Seulgi give a forced, polite laugh and quietly apologize to the fellow patrons saying something along the lines of quarter life crisis, nothing to see here, terribly sorry. Groaning, you gave your forehead a couple more good thumps before looking up. You were immediately met with a blank face, but you knew she was secretly reveling in your pain.

You are surrounded by sadists.

“I really do not see what’s the problem here, from how you’re reacting he must have gone from 0 to 10 real quick”

You grumbled from your splayed position on the table

“That’s not true….”

“He was at least a 7 before that”

Seulgi gave you a dull look

“…8.6 at the most.”

Letting out a bored sigh and picking at the remnants of what was a blueberry muffin, she deliberated “So you have always had a hot neighbor, woo, good for you, but just because seeing him in something other than baggy workout clothes suddenly got you all hot and bothered-”

“Oi, I was not hot and bothered-”

“-as I was saying” she gave you a pointed look, not appreciating your interruption “now would be the prime time to be looking, no? Icarus loved the warmth of sun so what did he do? Boy got himself some wings to see it closer.”

“Leading him to fly too close, thus melting his wings and falling to his death.” you deadpanned.

She waved a dismissive hand, “Pah, that’s just the Grimm brother’s version"

“Seulgi, the Grimm brothers didn’t even- look” you sighed, finally sitting yourself up from the table.

“You’re right, I probably shouldn’t have avoided him for so long, but what else was I supposed to do? He looked so…” you trailed, hand waving in the air in search of a fitting word, not having to wait long as your impatient comrade offered after a beat,

“-bangin?”

“Wow. It is truly a wonder why you never took the literary route when we were in art school”

Seulgi scoffed, taking a sip from her coffee “I had the option of being active and dancing to my heart’s content or sitting on my butt all day taking notes about some dead guys poems, it was a no question”

“Regardless” she continued, “the reality of the matter is that you now know you have the hots for your beta-turned-alpha neighbor and you’re going to have to face him eventually, lest you move again”

She almost smacked you from across the table as you gave a thoughtful look. Looking at her watch she reached for her bag and began to stand, you reluctantly following suit, realizing your break was over and it was time to head back to the office.

“Don’t be such a coward. He’s just a guy, he won’t even be in the same room as you when you talk for crying out loud, not unless he decides to break through two panes of glass, leap 10 feet over and land in your apartment. Though seeing your behavior, I wouldn’t be surprised if he resorted to that”

“And just what exactly am I supposed to say if he asks where I’ve been?” You shook your head as you felt the start of a headache beginning behind your eyes.

If he even noticed my absence that is

“Well that’s your fault it dragged on this long, isn’t it” She replied flippantly, the both of you exited the shop and started walking towards the subway.

“But if you want my opinion, I’d highly suggest not revealing how you have hiding because you cant control your impure thoughts around him-”

“For God’s sake, I told you it’s not even like that -”

“Ohhhh” An arm came out in front of you to bring you to a halt on the sidewalk. Turning to you slowly, you saw the beginnings of a smile take form on your friends face.

A very scary smile. One that only appeared when she was about to suggest something really dumb.

You were getting bad ju-ju vibes.

“I know exactly what you should say, say that you had …company…over and didn’t want to be disturbed”

You blinked. Once. Twice.

Then you hit her over the head.

“He has never shown any interest in me, what am I supposed to gain from that?”

Not deterred from your violence, if anything her eyes lit up with mischief, she pressed on “nono, it’s great, it’s like in those dramas, you throw down the boyfriend card and he is suddenly drawn to you because your unobtainable” she actually let out a cackle.

“I’m saying this because you are my friend and I care about your well being,” you almost let out an appreciative awww, but alas, tender moments were never in your cards.

“But if I find out you haven’t emerged from your hermit hole by Wednesday, I’ll come over and get his attention myself” You began to protest but she wasn’t hearing any of it “whether or not you listen to my advice is up to you, but so help me if I don’t get some juicy update by Wednesday I’ll take matters into my own hands”

Sadists, I say

You were walking past the living room one day when you heard a sharp yowl from the window.

Pausing on your way to the kitchen, you cast a tentative glance towards the cat perched on the windowsill, figure hidden by the curtain. You listened carefully, thinking that maybe she got her claws tangled in the fabric of the curtain again. The first time that had happened you calmly approached her with the full intention of relieving her from her cloth prison, as any caring owner would do. However, it would appear the frightened lump of fur was so lost in her terror, clearly thinking that this was the end, that she mistook your hand for that of the curtain God’s there to take her away. She then proceeded to bite and scratch anything she could get her stubby hands on.

Two and a half hours in an emergency waiting room later, you were being stabbed by multiple needles and given three beautiful stitches on your right hand. The freeloader didn’t even have the decency to look ashamed when you got back.

Since then you have always made sure she was fully aware of your presence before doing anything to help, for both her safety and yours. But secretly you were also still bitter about the first incident that you wanted to watch her struggle and realize her folly.

That’ll show her that the one with the opposable thumbs is the boss around here.

Another yowl came from behind the curtain and you made your way over, rolling up your sleeves in preparation.

“Missed me that much huh?”

You stopped mid-step, hand halting in pushing up your sleeve. The smooth baritone carried to your ears and you couldn’t stop the nervous stutter your heart gave in response. You were not ready for this confrontation, it wasn’t even Wednesday yet. Your palms began to sweat, not knowing how to proceed, however the voice was oblivious to your presence, and carried on.

“Looks like it’s just you and me again, Miss Mimi. Are you sure your owner hasn’t left you for some other stray?”

Meow.

There was an easy laugh in response, “Well hopefully despite wherever she has run off to she has you looked after, I wouldn’t want to have to pull some mission impossible stunt and save you”

Your eyes widened in horror as Seulgi’s words from the other day echoed in your mind. There was absolutely no way he was serious, you knew this, but just the thought of him being in your apartment set your mind into a frenzy.

You heard a phone ringing in the distance, “Ah, I’ll have to cut this short today, Mi. Say Hi for me the next time you see her, ok?”

Meow.

The silence that followed indicated that he had indeed left his spot at the window and you let out a shuttering breath. A million thoughts were swirling in your mind, so he did wonder where you’ve been. Granted, he said it because he wanted to know Mimi wasn’t going to starve, but it was still indirectly about you nonetheless. He also said he had to cut it short today, just how often does this man sit there talking to your cat? You try to think, but you were positive you’ve never heard him before today.

The nudge to your leg had you looking down, staring into bright cerulean eyes.

“You’re either the best or worst wingman ever”

She purred in response.

Eyes cracked open tiredly, blearily staring at the ceiling you blinked until your vision cleared.

Noting the lack of sunlight, you rolled over and pressed the home button on your phone, the harsh light making you squint in annoyance.

5:33 AM glared back at you and a groan highly resembling a beached whale emitted from your throat. Knowing there was no way the remaining hour before your alarm went off will be spent sleeping, you begrudgingly rolled out of bed.

Today was Wednesday. The thought came to you as you stirred creamer into your coffee, throwing a wary eye towards the closed curtains in your living room. Oh, how easy it would be to just keep them closed for all eternity… it wasn’t like you were some houseplant that needed sunlight for photosynthesis anyways. But you knew deep down that you would have to face the inevitable, because even though you loathed awkward situations with a burning passion, you feared the wrath of the brunette waiting for a reply today much more.

Best not tempt the fates today.

Cautiously you approached the curtains, suddenly feeling a strong sense of trepidation.

Oh square up you pathetic f-

You pulled back one of the white curtains with gusto, coffee in hand and eyes shut in anticipation. Cracking an eye open, you almost let out a victorious laugh, as you were met with dark curtains blocking your view from the apartment across.

Well…that wasn’t half bad.

You took this time to take in the view you had for the first time in two weeks. It really makes the room look a lot nicer, you mused, glancing back and watching the rising sun trickle in and brighten the living room. You almost felt foolish for your behavior, it was your house for Pete’s sake, you shouldn’t be letting one encounter prevent you from living your life as you wished.

Berating yourself, remembering your inner dilemma weeks ago that you knew nothing of the dark-haired male that lived in the other apartment. You owed each other nothing and if you didn’t want to interact with the man all you had to do was not talk to him, it wasn’t like the conversation was mandatory every time you saw him, you weren’t friends.

But you want to have those conversations, don’t you? Wouldn’t mind getting all buddy-buddy with Mr. Mysterious.

Your left eye twitched in annoyance as your heart and mind continued to have heated debate over what if’s. Once your coffee had gone cold and barely half finished, you were no closer to coming to a decision on how you were going to interact with your neighbor whenever you saw him again. Making the decision to get ready for work earlier than usual, you did so for no other reason than not wishing to be in this apartment any longer.

Picking up the keys off of the coffee table, as you made your way towards the door an hour ahead of schedule you missed the site of a familiar pair dark curtains pulled back.

Once you returned to your apartment the sun had almost set in the sky.

Not only had you arrived earlier to work that day, you had unconsciously stayed later than usual as well.

You thought nothing about it until Seulgi found you in your office, typing away at your computer.

She all but forced you out of the building, raging to herself about I don’t care if it’s not politically correct in 2017, but you need to grow a pair and man up, woman.

In all honestly it was not your intention to stay late, you were so caught up in your work that you simply lost track of time.

It was not until Seulgi found you that you realized what may or may not be waiting for you when you arrived home.

Having left your curtains pulled back, it was highly likely that you would encounter the other when you got back, and you still hadn’t figured out what you were going to say to him.

Deciding to wing it as you approached your door, as you unlocked it and stepped into the hallway you took a long, meditative breath.

Here goes nothing.

You started by walking to the light switches in your hallway and in one fluid motion, your living room was illuminated.

If you were going to do this, you weren’t going to do it as a coward.

You had, as a wise woman once said, grown a pair and manned up.

Not entering the lit-up room just yet, you instead walked back to the bedroom and changed out of your work clothes, wishing for nothing more than to get out of the business casual attire you were confined in all day.

Slipping on a baseball tee and some shorts you took your laptop out of your bag and padded towards the kitchen.

Since the kitchen and living room were situated in an open concept you had no choice but to eventually face the kitchen, however you busied yourself with dinner first, as your stomach was making itself known.

Whipping up a quick meal that you found on your laptop, you hummed as you worked, mindlessly bopping to the music that you had playing in the background.

Once you finished cooking you walked to the cabinet and refilled Mimi’s bowl before taking your culinary creation to the small dining table.

While watching an episode of your favourite drama you finished off your dinner and did the dishes. Returning back to the table to retrieve your laptop, you had intended to finish the remainder of the episode.

Meow.

You swore that cat was out to get you.

You stopped midway from picking up your laptop and glanced over at your cat who was sitting on the windowsill.

Not alone.

You stared at the man in the distance and though you couldn’t properly see him, you nevertheless lent forward and offered a polite bow.

He returned the gesture and you took a deep breath.

Showtime.

You began to make your way over to the window, closing the laptop and tucking it under your arm as you gave the man before you your undivided attention.

“I’m sure she has told you all of my deepest darkest secrets by this point,” you started, throwing a suspicious look at the furry mass by your hip “there isn’t a loyal bone in her body.”

The man smiled and let out a chuckle, “She has been talking about you in great detail I’m afraid”

“Just bad things, I presume”

“Only the worst” he offered a secretive smirk and you snorted.

“Speaking of the worst, I was afraid that the paint fumes had done you in” setting your laptop down you paused at his words and your mind went into overdrive thinking about how you were going to respond.

Briefly you wondered back to your friend’s advice, wondering if you should lie and make up some outlandish story.

Deciding that living a life of treachery was not something that tickled your fancy, you looked up in response.

“Ah, almost, I must have breathed in too many fumes, I was quite sick so I was out of commission for the last while” that wasn’t a whole lie, you were feeling oddly sick, just that it was most definitely not from paint fumes.

But like hell you were going to let him know that.

He let out a hum and nodded his head, apparently accepting your answer, but his eyebrows then furrowed.

“But you’re fine now, right?” he looked cute, worrying over you like a mother hen.

You gave him a grateful smile, waving your hand dismissively.

“It’s going to take more than paint fumes and bad ramen to do me in, fear not good sir”

“Besides, I need to see if SooJin wakes up from her coma and realizes that Joonwoo-“

“-is actually the man that saved her from the burning building when she was a child and that he is being swindled by her uncle who wants to take over the company?” you blinked at the excited look the boy gave you, who was nodding his head eagerly, hands animatedly waving as he spoke.

“….you watch soap operas?” You couldn’t believe the usually reserved man was actually gushing about a daytime drama.

Eat it, Seulgi, you uncultured swine. I told you it was an art.

“Well I’m never home to watch them when they air, but I usually stream them when I get the chance.

I dislocated my ankle really bad a few months ago and was put on home arrest, it was the only thing on at the time and I’ve been hooked ever since” He let out a sheepish laugh as his shoulders shrugged indifferently.

You let out a loud laugh and he seemed startled by the sound, but you weren’t paying attention to him anymore as tears began to well up in your eyes.

You started to shake as giggles bubbled from your throat, needing your hand to brace on the windowsill, not being able to stand straight.

“I can’t…believe…this…is happening…” You could barely breathe, “-looks are definitely deceiving” You commented, sending him a sly smile, eyebrows wiggling.

His face suddenly was dusted with a stunning shade of pink and you wanted nothing more than to squish his cheeks together.

Too precious

He began to mutter something about being totally manly and how it was good study material.

You started to come down from your hysteria but the smile never left your face.

“It’s ok, it will be our little secret, neighbor. But really,” you leaned in conspicuously, as if you were discussing something top secret.

“What do you think Soojin’s next move will be once she wakes up?”

From that moment on you managed to entice him into a totally manly conversation about plot holes and never-ending character resurrections.

Much like work, you were so lost in the conversation, completely forgetting about the awkwardness that you were supposed to be feeling, that you lost track of the hours passing as the two of you talked. The conversation drifted from daytime dramas, settling on mindless chatter that left you with bits of information about the man before you that you never knew you wanted to know.

All the while a wide smile adorned both of your faces.

Chapter VI

[ragific-blog]

So yesterday someone named @la-petite-marie decided to continue to give me shit for my post on yoonkook and im going to make this post once and for all to point how the person's behavior was both delusional and rude (bc its getting too long to write out replies) and why he or she should really cut the shit. Please do not read if you are easily affected by drama. THIS PERSON decided that I dont know a thing about yoonkook dynamic bc I said I would write a fic about JK pestering Yoongi with his affection and Yoongi being like nooo and Jk ignoring it and literally wanting to carry the agressive Yoongi around. NOW IM GOING TO SAY WHY ATTACKING ME FOR THIS IS DELUSIONAL (this person also told tell me to not tag the post as Yoonkook bc he or she wasnt happy with what i said) ONE. I dont know what your idea of aggressive is but clearly I wasnt going to write yoongi as some violent guy who cusses JK out. And dont fucking tell me that Yoongi is always soft for Jk and that i need to stick to it because welcome to fanfics. Again its fictional. There are no defined answers and thats the beauty of it and if you cant grasp your head around it, I worry about you. TWO. My story idea was about highschool JK who goes after much older Yoongi and yoongi initially not taking any of it. YOONGI MAY BE SOFT FOR JK IN REAL LIFE but in fanfics they dont have to start off knowing each other. They dont have to be in BTS and live just like how they do in real life so congrats youve just just gotten pissy over a start of a work of fiction without bothering to think about the context or where ill take the story. Youve just passed judgement which is something you yourself stated you dont like. THREE. Back to aggressive. Im Korean and I speak fluent Korean. I also speak fluent Daegu dialect bc ive both lived there and my mother is from there and know all about the culture. You may think what does this have anything to do with this...and I will tell you why. Yoongi speaks very aggressively and subtitles do not convey that. In fact, men from Daegu and Busan (Gyeongsan province) are expected to act in a colder manner towards the people they love compared to people from Seoul. Clearly I can pick up on speech pattern done in Korean and actually convey his personality accordingly, so do NOT tell me I dont know what Im talking about and if you think that aggressive speech pattern correlates to actually aggressive behavior then wow you clearly have not met enough people. On a similar note there is a reason why Jimin is usually portrayed as a cute soft "bottom" among i-fans, while in Korea hes portrayed as the strong willed, biting person no matter who hes paired with. YET do I ever give shit for those people who portray jimin a certain way? NO. Why? Because I can respect people's differences when it comes to information they come across. FOUR Being a shipper isnt a title. You dont go to school for it and get a diploma out of it. Youre not given the role of some shipping ambassador or diplomat that lets you dictate how a ship should be perceived and if you actually think like this jesus holy hell thats like saying dont talk about apples because i only like oranges and yes lets read that again to see how ridiculous it is. Being a shipper of a certain pair doesnt give you the right to tell other people off for their opinions and if you dont understand this concept than oh boy life is going to get HARD for you when you realize that the planet is filled with people with different opinions. Again no one owns the tag and the only time people are allowed to complain about it is if its wrongly tagged. My post was about yoonkook so I will tag it yoonkook. If you are going to be a baby about it then thats on you and I have zero sympathy for you. FIVE The rule is simple. If you dont like then dont read. Everyone is entitled to their opinion but know that its a two way street if you start talking shit. Get off your high horse. You giving yourself that entitled attitude is like me saying Ive known kpop for longer so you dont know shit. Would I ever say that? No. Why? Because that would be fucking stupid. So do NOT come at me with that kind of shitty attitude. I dont have patience for the likes of you. Anyway....I must say. This is the first time someone has given me shit for characterization of all things lol.

[la-petite-marie]

So yesterday someone named @ragific decided to talk some nonsense on the yk tag, and now they are being extremely defensive and acting like “omg i’m a victim, a damsel in distress” and is calling me out because according to them, i was rude (and honestly i tried not to be but i’m done with bullshit n the tag). Oh, I’m also delusional, but aren’t we all?? Cause like i said before, what we know about them is from what we see on tv shows, vlive, fancams, etc etc.

Read at your own risk (but tbh this whole thing is ridiculous, we r all ridiculous so yeah...)

1. “And dont fucking tell me that Yoongi is always soft for Jk and that i need to stick to it because welcome to fanfics. Again its fictional. There are no defined answers and thats the beauty of it and if you cant grasp your head around it, I worry about you “ Again lemme just say what characterization means. ‘Characterization is a literary device that is used step by step in literature to highlight and explain the details about a character in a story.’ Now till here i get what you are saying but, “dont fucking tell me yoongi is always soft for jk and that i need to stick with it”, do you ever saw him actually not being soft with him tho? i mean, he is sassy at times, but with everyone that doesnt mean he is aggressive. but again, are you sure we r talking abt the same person?? oh wait do u, personally know him? im sorry, really, you TOTALLY RIGHT! omg. but anyways... “again it’s fictional” oh you dont say, i mean i should have got it when i wen to look for fanfic right? RIGHT?? but what do i know, honestly. I Besides, as far as i know he’s a real person, a human being, and if you want to characterize him in another way you tag it, but i clearly dont need to say it to you, cause you’re the master on it.

2. I have an idea on how fanfic stories works, but thanks for your input :) “Youve just passed judgement which is something you yourself stated you dont like.” what i meant and what my gfs trying to tell you was that the way you expressed yourself seemed off cause we all (and by we all, i mean me and my gfs) understood you said that yoongi was aggressive, as in whole body and language aggressive, which he is not, or never showed to be. Again, i wasn’t trying to be rude, i just EXPRESSED myself saying i didnt agreed with it, you were the one being rude to baah, when she clearly wasn’t so don’t try to act all innocent in here.

3. I may not be korean, but i’m well aware of some things about its culture and its places and people. I also know that people from both Busan and Daegu are expected to act a bit more colder than people from other cities, places. But again, the way you tried to convey yourself was that made me disagree with you, cause again, you didnt expressed yourself in a way we totally understood you. Yoongi speaks very aggressively and subtitles do not convey that. “Because I can respect people’s differences when it comes to information they come across.” I mean i get it, but imo i still think it wrong write them in a TOTAL different way, as in so ooc, that you don’t know who that person really is (idk how to explin myself, nor how to express myself rip). Yeah i get that, freedom of writing, and sometimes you want to change a few things abt them cause it’s the way you want it to be, but sometimes people really take it as a real thing, that’s where i have a problem, they (fans) think they r that way and start to talk abt it as if it’s really real and that’s not it. They are human like us, a living and breathing human being, you are supposed to be respectful of that person, cause you if are writing about them, so i’m 100% sure they would want it to be authentic and if it’s not, it’s ok, but don’t think they are that way, cause they are not.

4. You really are trying to teach me about shipping lmao cute. “Being a shipper isnt a title. You dont go to school for it and get a diploma out of it.” Omg i never knew *gasps* bitch please i’ve ranted before about the shit this fandom does and says. It’s like you’re trying to teach me about life. Nice try, but i can’t handle it :) Also I’m not trying to dictate or govern you I just expressed my disagreement with your post.  Im’ well aware people have diffenrent opinions, but that’s not what I was and am tryig to say to you, and honestly I’m tired to try and explain it, ause you’re clearly don’t get it. And yeah i know i don’t own the tag, lmao because if i did it would be free of bullshit and it would be all rainbows and sunshine, cause that’s what yk is about. If you want drama and go @ me then do it, but it would be nice with you didn’t tag yk on it, cause now you’re calling me out is there, and honestly again i don’t mind ppl going @ me, but just don’t mention yk te way you do, cause we already have other ships there that are not yk, so the less bullshit and drama on it, the better. “If you are going to be a baby about it then thats on you and I have zero sympathy for you.” The only one being a baby about this whole thing is you, who are acting like a victim, when you’re not honey, sorry to inform this to you, but yes I was rude, but you weren’t any better than me so pls sit down.

5. I have to agree with you there, “If you dont like then dont read.” Amen. Praise the Lord. “You giving yourself that entitled attitude is like me saying Ive known kpop for longer so you dont know shit.” lmao ok sure jan. And gotta agree with you on the “fucking stupid”, this whole drama and discussion (or whatver the hell this is) is fucking stupid.

And to end, come @ me all you want, but if you are doing another post after this pls use yk instead of the whole ship name, i’m sure other peaceful and nice shippers would appreciate it. 

Anyways, have a nice day ;)

[rem102]

A Little Mistake Messenger

Ch. 1 Ch. 2 Ch. 3 Ch. 4 Ch. 5 Ch. 6 Ch. 7 Ch. 8  Ch. 9 Ch. 10 Ch. 11

Summary:  MC has exciting news to tell Zen and the other RFA members. That is until the MC gets a shock from Zen. MC finds comfort in a close friend, Jumin Han.

Rating: M (language and adult themes)

Tags: Mystic Messenger, Jumin x MC, Zen x MC

Authors Note: I’ve been working on a 707 series while also working at this story as well. So that’s exciting! I hope my Jumin fanatics like myself reallllly enjoy this chapter. I’ve been listening to a Firefly music festival playlist for a lot of inspiration to get my butt in gear. 

I’d love to hear from you guys about what you like or what I can improve upon. Keep liking and sharing to spread the love <3 

Lazy weekends were the best weekends especially after Jumin got home from his business trip. Jumin was napping soundly on the couch Elizabeth the third purring on his chest with his hand on her body. I smiled to myself as I watched the two of them snoozing the afternoons away. I grabbed a blanket and gently laid it across his legs and on lower part of his chest. His top shirt buttons casually unbuttoned. Elizabeth moved in his arms at the startle of the blanket but settled back into her position once she realized I had helped her out.

I sat back down on the lounge chair and scrolled through my phone.

— MC has logged into the Chatroom—

Jaehee: I’m relaxing at the beach getting some sun.

707: I burn to a crisp in the sun

Oh MC is here!

MC: Jaehee how is vacation going?

Jaehee: You can keep my job forever if you would like. 

Has Jumin ran you up a wall yet?

MC: hahaha hardly. 

Everything is good on our end, however business end is a different story.

Jaehee: What happened was it his father again?

MC: not quite Mr. Han per say more like Jumin’s fiance.

707: wait hes engaged that damn bastard

MC: no don’t misunderstand this is not his choosing.

Jaehee: and what happened?

MC: they may or may not believe that Jumin and I are-

Jaehee: He did what?

MC: Its just a misunderstanding, until Jumin can collect enough information to refuse this marriage proposal.

707: Oh thank God! 

I was worried that I would have to come save you from Jumins clutches. 

Defender of Justice to save the innocent MC from the gate keeper Jumin.

MC: all good on this end here! 

Seven don’t worry I’ll know who to call to save me next time.

707: All is well then.

Defender.

Of.

Justice.

Out.

-707 has logged out-

Jaehee: I have to go too I need another drink.

MC: Don’t have too much fun you have to come back soon!

Jaehee: No promises here.

–Jaehee has logged out—

 It was inevitable that I would run into Zen news on my Facebook page. South Korean Musical Actor Trending in the United States of America. I quickly scrolled past the news page my friends shared on Facebook. Hyun Ryu and Amelia Corina officially an item? I turned my phone over trying to ignore the burning feeling in my heart. 

I could not tear my eyes away at his calm and collected mannerism. Did he even lose any sleep over me? He looked as if he didn’t spend too much time letting a breakup hinder his acting and public appearance. Hyun was somebody now, and I was just holding him back. It took me a week and RFA taking turns keeping my mind occupied before I was finally composed enough to be alone.

Why was I craving to see him, was it because he was happy and doesn’t seem to be too worried about a cheating scandal? I still cared for Zen. I will always love him in some way or the other. I cant forget the man that he was before things started to go downhill. Still, I can admire him from afar. Maybe one day Jaehee and I can fangirl over him and we can bring the baby to watch Zen on the TV.

There were thousands of pictures mostly of Zen, and selfies on date nights. Late nights under the stars, his motorcycle, backstage at his musicals. Was he happy? Was he finally accomplishing his dreams? Did the woman in the new pictures know how he likes his DVD collection at home? How he snores lightly when he’s exhausted from a long night of drinking?

I looked at my camera roll on my phone hesitant to look at the beginning. If I wanted a clean slate I needed to delete photos off of my phone. It was going to be now or never. I selected every photo, video, selfie, and saved screen shots I had saved since I met him. I quickly hit the delete button before my heavy fingers would change their mind. Clearing out all the memories, and moments that I treasured the most with Zen. I took a deep breath as I emptied my trash bin on my phone.

I felt as if a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I could start looking forward to cute baby pictures. I finally opened my text messages and deleted any and every message with Zen involved in it. It would be better to rid myself of the temptation to look back and feel sorry about myself. I smiled to myself that I was finally released from a large amount of temptation to look at those photos that brought me so much happiness.

I was startled by Elizabeth crawling in my lap. I looked over at Jumin who was lazily stretching out on the couch with a loud groan. I pet her soft white fur as she sat down between my legs encouraging me to pet her.

“Have you decided to sit with the ladies?” I said to Elizabeth who was enjoying extra attention from another person.

She cozied herself up on my knee and sprawling out. “She just wants more attention” Jumin said groggily and I laughed at her cute little face and tail.

“Jumin, Elizabeth the Third needs a womanly figure in her life to keep her straight. Sometimes it’s good to take a short reprieve from her favorite and only man in her life.”

He laughed and sat up on the couch, blanket wrapped around his shoulders and hair disheveled in all directions. I smiled to myself at his rare and slightly appearance. Jumin would hate to look like a mess in front of anyone.

“What are you smiling at?” He asked looking at me seated on the edge of the couch arms resting on his legs.

“Nothing!” I told him scratching behind Elizabeth’s ears averting his stare and blush on my cheeks. I took out my phone and took a quick picture of Elly. I knew who to send this picture to, Seven. Seven immediately responded with heart emojis: “Elly my love! She is so adorable! Jumin however looks like he just woke up with the bad case of bed head.”

“Wait was I in that picture that you just took?” He asked sitting upright on the couch. “Maybe. A lady never divulges her secrets Jumin.” I teased and he smirked. “Can I see it?” He asked softly. I got up and sat next to him on the couch and showed him the picture.

“God is that what my hair looks like?” He ran a hand through it in an attempt to fix it only making it stick further out. I laughed uncontrollably at his hair and his expression when he asked me if it looked any better. He got up and went to his room. “Can you help me since my efforts have been to no avail.”

“Yes Jumin.” I sat on the top of the couch and had him between my legs. “Let me know if I pull your hair.”

I carefully brushed his hair back towards my body. “Have you ever worn it any other way or has it always looked like this?”

“Its been the same for as long as I can remember.”

“Jumin have you ever been in relationships with other women before?”

“What?”

“I didn’t mean for it to sound like that, I just never have seen you show interest in many women our age. Nothing is wrong with that I was just wondering.”

“Women are out for my fathers money and influence not so much myself. The way to my fathers heart seems to be through winning me over. None of them actually cared for me or was around long enough for one anyways. Most women only see me as money and future CEO.”

“I understand your difficulty then finding someone you can actually trust and talk too aside from V and Rika.”

“Yes it was only them for a while but now that V is absent and Rika passed I only have Elizabeth.”

“You have me too Jumin.”

“I know and I’m thankful for some sanity in the madness.” He sighed deeply. “How does it look?”

“It doesn’t look half bad pulled back.” I said and he got up to look at himself.

“If I didn’t look old before this makes me look much older now.”

“I think you look mature, well you already looked mature. More mature.” I said shuffling down to the couch.

“You think I would scare Jaehee if I wore it like this?” He asked smiling as he ruffled his hair out with a shake of his head and hair returned to its normal position on his head.

“I think she would think something was wrong.” He smiled shaking his head.

“What were you doing earlier on your phone? You looked upset?” He asked concerned tone in his voice.

“Hmm oh I was just deleting photos.”

“Of him?”

“Yes of him.” Silence deafened between the two of us before he spoke again.

“You still love him?”

“I don’t love him now but I think I always will hold a place for him. There is a baby that will probably remind me of Zen every day soon.”

“Is love a strange and powerful emotion?” He asked sitting back down on the couch his arms reclined back on the couch behind him. I looked at his face searching himself for some grasp on his tone and curiosity.

“Love?” How do I describe love?

“Well love is different for everyone,” I tried to explain. “Theres the love you have for your family or your father. The love you have for your friends V, Seven, Yoosung, and Jaehee. Finally there is romantic love that you feel towards another person.”

“I love Elizabeth the Third, is that more a familial love?”

“Yes exactly shes a part of your family.”

“Familial love is similar to when Yoosung and Seven talk about chocolate milk and cat jokes?” I nodded my head smiling. Jumin trying to make mental connections to the emotions he was feeling and putting a name to the emotion and it was written on a furrowed line on his forehead. The wrinkle he gets when he is deep in concentration and deep thought. He was silent again before he spoke up once more. 

“What about romantic love?” His asked softly in my direction. 

I took my time trying to find the right words in which to describe romantic love to him that would make the most sense. Your heart starts racing uncontrollably out of your chest around them. Your face gets red when they say anything remotely similar to flirting.” He nodded his head. “Do you find it hard to eat when you think about them?” he asked genuinely. “I think so depending on the situation.”

He met my eyes in an instant, “I think I know what it is.” His hand rested on top of my hand his eyes locked with mine. His fingers grasping onto the sides of my hand and making small circular motions with his pointer finger. I took a deep intake of air before speaking “Romantic or passionate love for another person I think is when you put the other person before yourself, and you worry not just for your needs but for theirs and in a more intimate way. Physically and mentally.” 

His dark eyes stared into my own and I was memorized at the deep color of them as our eyes locked onto one another. “I think I know what it is,” he said moving closer to me on the couch. My face felt warm under his intense stare. Jumin closed the space that was between his lips within inches of my own. I closed my eyes in anticipation of his warm lips to meet mine. His hand sliding to the back of my head. 

There was a loud knock on the door. I immediately sat back and lowered my eyes to avert his own. He cleared his throat and buttoned his shirt to check the door. 

“Jumi! I came to-“ a loud and shrilling high pitched voice pierced through the air and could only belong to the voice of a red-haired, overly perfumed woman in a purple dress.

“This is not a good time Sarah.” Jumin said and she barged into his home. Sarah threw open the door that Jumin was guarding. He palmed his head in frustration. .

“Oh shes here.” I shifted in my seat making sure my little baby bump was hidden from her watchful eye. Shit. The ultrasound was on his fridge. This could implicate Jumin already more than he already was.

“shes my lover of course she would be here.” Jumin said coming to sit by me leaning on the sofa arm casually.

“I brought something for Liz!”

“Elizabeth the third?” Jumin corrected

“yes the cat,” Sarah snared back at him.

I slowly got up to make my way over to the fridge. “Shall I let you two discuss?”

“No I want you to stay.” Jumin said grabbing my hand from my side. I turned to look at him and his expression pleading for help. His slim fingers intertwined into my own.

“So how did you two officially meet?”Sarah asked trying to latch herself onto Jumin. Her breasts spilling out of her top as she attempted to press herself to his arm. Jumin immediately shook her off in disgust and need for personal space. I gave him some space as he tried to push her off of him. 

“Well-“ I started when Jumin chimed in. 

“She is the coordinator for RFA parties for a while, and-“

“I have no interest in Jumin’s businesses, he’s a genuinely kind man with a huge heart.” I added as i looked at Sarah who looked like she bit into something sour and bitter. 

 “Romantic love will never last.”

Her comment struck a nerve deep within me. 

“I know that, more than anyone.” She started going through my papers i had laying on the dining room table. I stepped in front of her putting the papers back to their location.

“You have a limited amount of time with the people you love than you spend that time doing just that.”

“I have a right to see what those documents are since I am his fiance.”

“No you don’t. and No you are not. You can leave the gift for Elizabeth on the table and then escort yourself out.” I was fuming with annoyance. Jumin was smirking behind me at how little patience I had for this woman.

“Jumin are you going to let her speak to me in such ways? I know you are faking this relationship with your secretary. Wont you let me comfort you?”

“I find no issue with her tone.Is that so? We are faking it?” He said questionably at her comment. His arms folded against his chest in annoyance.

“MC.” Jumin said grabbing my arm and pulling myself towards him closely. He felt like he was on fire from the heat he was exuding.

“I want to be honest with my feelings for you. I had intentions on letting our relationship grow however I ant deny that there is a strong attraction to you. I cannot hold myself back any longer.”

“Jumin-“

I felt his hand on my chin and he pressed his lips firmly against mine. My mind went blank at his tender kiss. I wanted more. I needed more. But I also needed to breathe before I was consumed in his heat. I looked into Jumins eyes that were tenderly looking into my own. I don’t know how long we stood there just looking at each other. 

“You would kiss her in front of your own fiance!” Sarah screamed and loudly screaming at us both. Sarah must have let herself out on her own because I was too busy letting Jumin consume me with his tender kisses. Jumins hand placed behind my head. My hands holding tightly onto his shirt. I let my guard down and allowed myself to initiate the kiss again and pressed myself into his warm and soft lips. His tongue tracing around my lip as if asking for permission from my lips to enter.

He was the first to pull away his head resting on mine. “I have been wanting to kiss you for a long time now.” He smiled kissing my head as if I were a child. 

“Did you mean what you said earlier?”

“All of it.” He just held me tightly against his chest. 

“I have never felt this much before I met you.” He whispered into my ear and I smiled knowing that he was becoming more open with himself and allowing himself to feel. He pressed his lips against mine as if he was trying to consume the air in my lungs. My lips brushing against his over and over again.

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