#i cant go back look what u did | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

puppyeared · 9 months

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i wrote this as a joke because I wanted to strangle a guy watching tiktoks without headphones on the bus, but im genuinely disturbed that we've gotten to a point where convenience comes first. and it depresses me even more that its used to justify and monetize greed

#like we have so many ways of doing things that could help us in the long run but because we're told it requires more work we just cant #its too resource intensive. or maybe its too much to maintain. we have to overlook benefits so money can go into more important things #we teach each other to do things a certain way so it works for everyone but who was it convenient for first? what abt who it might hurt?#i have to wonder if the rules our current system uses is worth listening to or following if it doesnt have our best interests in mind. u an #me and the ppl around us.. would we be better off if i ate my meals knowing the person who grew it wanted to feed others the way they could #feed themselves? and that isnt to say we're going to be happy doing it but i guess satisfied that its helping someone instead of quietly #accepting that itll eventually go in the dumpster behind a grocery store because it stopped looking appetizing or it wasnt on sale anymore #what about building homes so we can shelter each other? what if we were satisfied with what we did because we knew it would be paid back #with kindness? isnt that what we evolved to do?? heal each others bones and tell stories and help each other??#why dont houses come with solar panels or generators unless we find a way to make people pay to use the sun? why is our pooled money used #to fund genocides instead of education and hospitals? whose interests and convenience came first when we started this??#i wont pretend to know the answer because i dont. but we all know we're miserable and im sorry to say that i cant see myself fighting #for a world that wont fight for me too. why do we work if we cant live from it?? why did they stop us from plucking more teeth from our #bosses until they could build more walls around themselves and then go back to underpaying us??#im so tired. i cant even imagine making it to age 70 #yapping #vent

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svampira · 6 months

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normalest friend group

#wrong they all hate each other #except for elias only eden hates him rightfully so #he got his bestie dante exhiled anyways thats for when i design kat which might be never back to the line up #brooke looks so cute shes eliciting a omg puppy response from me. never slimming her face down again her cheeeks #the more adorable they look the eviller they are. in order brooke elias diamila eden #diamila will stab you in the back for fun and she probably has the highest vampire bodycount in the us BUT she doesnt kill humans #so that basically makes her a good person #elias and brooke would literally kill a kid the only difference is elias would only do it if he was pissed brooklyn would do it for fun😭#shes so cute #wip #ill draw a full body line up later shivers #elias and brooke are the only ones where same face syndrome kicked in but i dont mind that much there is literally no way theyd get mixed u #wait let me go back on what i didnt mention #eden is off the evil scale hes a relatively good guy.... by kindred standards tho hes still a hypocrite kind of nines style but worse #he did the most to become baron and rallies the anarchs into going to war w the camarilla basically but he cant stomach violence #back to how much they all hate each other diamila and eden used to be friends but she did her usual backstabbing when chose the vt m b #camarilla ending diamila hates brooke and brooke just dislikes her but has no reason to hate her and eden and brooke hate love each other #mostly hate by 2021 honestly #his bestie wasnt named dante i meant it dante exhiled. you know

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todayisafridaynight · 4 months

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Religiously i think about one of my twitter mutuals pointing out how aoki's design is subtly asymmetrical while ichiban is more symmetrical

when i think of it, masato's design is fairly symmetrical as well isnt it.....

#snap chats #please no one look at me i shouldve gotten my drink two hours ago #what does it mean .....#i swear my mutual had like. galaxy brain when it came to aoki i swear to god in heaven no one got him like they did #they were also the one that did that glass analysis post i shared some months back #moving on tho...#i guess there is the stipulation that because masato's shirt buttons dont match his shirt like ichi's does the buttons at the top mess it u #but aside from that everything else is pretty even: he has a pair of bangs and while his shirt is patterned its not like. grossly so #the pattern doesnt go particularly one way or the other its obviously just a pattern and the colors arent offensively against each other #on the flipside aoki's hair is more obviously swept to one side and leaving the other side bare #not to mention his tie in general. the 'bulb' part and 'tongue' part even go against each other #as if a diagonal striped tie itself wouldnt be askew to his overall look #again these are very small things to notice but im glad theyre small- it makes sense for a politician's to be subtly incongruent #the glasses are super important to aoki's design too but that's covered int eh glass analysis and isnt about symmetry #idk ... maybe im just waffling on about nothing.. either way i love those posts by my mutual #OH i think of this because i am once again thinking of updating how i draw masato #cause i like the blazer and necklace i gave him BECAUSE of that asymmetry #but now i wonder if thatd go against his design ... so i have to ask 'what underlying message is there for masato to be symmetrical'#i guess- even if he is a creep and a weirdo- he's not. evil? idk ... he hasn't gone totally off the deep end compared to aoki #like compared to what he'd go on to do as aoki he's pretty normal as masato #he is just a guy. who DOES have ties to the yakuza but this aint about that LKCJALKREJVA #he doesnt even like them he just uses them for his convenience 😔#idk. ill prob still draw masato the same tbh LMAO if anything ill just crop his blazer but keep it symmetrical #i guess i cant wonder this TOO much when i give him mismatching rings 💀💀 ill just have fun ig fjaelrvekljv #at the end of the day its never that serious ...... i just gotta draw what makes me chortle. esp for a chara three people care about VJLAEK #but i will wonder ..... <- it is not that deep #ima go bye

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netherdevil · 2 months

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unnormal vivilly dweller thoughts in my head

#“I'm right next to you” are we about to kiss. are you trying to kiss me right neow #i hate the chase sequence part (corny and unoriginal) but everything else is so perfect #hEeEeLP MEeEeEE #i fuckign love vivilly anyway but i think the vivilly dweller is what Really did it fr me #SERIOUSLY THOUGJ WHAT THE FUCK #i would make a palpers dweller but i dont think my computer can with how shit it is rn #like i definitely will at some point (unless someone beats me to it) but i just can't rn 😭#i csnt wait for august viv face reveal guys!!!! YAY!!!! idc what he looks like he will always be so splinkoid #plus whatever characteristics he has i can kinda just add on to my design to him behind his mask #i color his skin as dark grey just for his mc skin but seeing his snapchat n stuff makes me wanna show him off as rhe eyeblinding man he is #or not! who knows . i have a tendency to do whatever #okay speakijg of his face reveal #i have something i want to explain to the wall #a part of me is hoping he isnt generic conventionally attractive guy 38495839488 #the rest of me is neutral because idrc #the reason why is most likely because i would feel a deeper connection to him if we shared similar facial features #it's a good reason i think? but still weird to have because i shouldnt really care what he looks like at all #idk what to expect really but i guess i should be open minded abt it #I JUST. a lot of how i perceive him is through his mc character #that played a big part in how i grew to like him so much #but he ISN'T emo hoodie minecraft shyguy!!!#however i can still enjoy the 'persona' he has online. chill sarcastic insane funny blocky shyguy who does a little (A LOT OF) trolling #anyway back to what i was saying #hope bro isn't majestic as fuck irl #IF IT'S ANYTHING LIKE DREAM I'M GOING TO CRY #DREAM IS MAJESTIC AS FUCK I CANT EVEN WITH THAT MAN #i will be supportive anyway ofc because 1) i dont care even though i just proved that i do 2) i can separate persona from irl person 3)...U #IM SO NORMAL #also we're not goijg toctalkcabou t the dream thing. if youre my irl yoy didnt aee this (PLEASE DONT UNFRIEND ME OELASE #DONT LEAVE JUST FORGER Iなはoops didnt mean to type thatSAID THAT OKAY

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unexpectedbrickattack · 1 year

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Peppino being a little magician makes me go :)

#chattin #making characters have silly little talents is so fun #this is of course bc i suffer from Love of WorldBuilding disease and i do this with all of my ocs (bc its very fun)#anyway the reason i thought of it was bc i DO really enjoy him being good with knives and being a knife juggler #bc its one of those obscure things u have to like fall into; but its also REALLY fun to know how to do this #its a good icebreaker! esp if ur like. anxious and scared of everything by default #‘U-UH….i can . juggle…knives.?’ ‘what the fuck? forreal???’#so like #doing sleight of hand tricks seems pretty adjacent to that #card tricks and disappearing/reappearing acts #but unlike MOST magicians who keep their knowledge a secret #peppino literally doesnt have the capacity to sit in a convo longer than he wants to be #like the back n forth of ‘what? nooo u gotta show us’ ‘nope! teehee!’ like thats just annoying #so he takes the time to show how he does it bc often times even with a visual guide people cant recreate it #ANYWAY #i am saying this bc i thought of the noise throwing a Live Grenade at peppino #and peppino is like oh my GOD oh my god and hes jumping and panicking and the noise is like >:3!!!#and then he takes deep breaths and the grenade in his hand just disappears #and the noise is like wtf. what. where did it fucking go? walks up to peppino to look #peppino makes the ‘shhh’ motion and holds both of the noises hands in his own #and when he flips them palm up; the grenade is in the noises hand #like theyre on some looney tunes level shit #funny to think about #well i guess since i wrote it out i might as well draw it dhdjdndkdmdk

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coridallasmultipass · 1 month

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I am once again begging online shop payment processing companies to allow me to enter a separate name for shipping and separate name for billing!!

It's the same address, I'm just trans and have not legally changed my personal name, but I still prefer to receive mail as my preferred name! Like it's literally my professional name, I do business as my preferred name.

Annoying as fuck, and I don't want to chance my bank rejecting the payment (though I'm sure someone at my bank has put a note to allow it on my account by now, since I've contacted them a couple times before when I realized too late that the billing section didn't let me input another "address/name" section, and they said the payment was fine in those cases.)

Anyway, legal name changes should be free and non-advertised for everyone. Tbh, you should get a free name change every time you file your taxes on time as an incentive for good citizen behaviour. Once I am elected pres-

#i think the one i just used didnt even have a separate billing address option which makes no sense #guess they dont want anyone giving any gifts making the buyer pay twice for shipping like that #maybe it was a fault of the mobile browser but i highly doubt it since many desktop sites look like mobile browsers these days #just so fucking frustrating. what if i lived somewhere where my legal name would out me? (im in the closet rn so doesnt matter)#i dont want to fucking see my legal name. im already forced to see it everywhere else.#i dont wanna ruin my mood on a day when im supposed to be getting a package which should be a happy thing yknow #vent #transphobia #speaking of like i would change my name but i dont want to and cant afford the fucking ridiculous price for it #and i dont wanna advertise it in a newspaper either! shits expensive as fuck on top of the hundreds to file the court paperwork!#i already tried to do it once with money in hand and the receptionist told me that even tho it was for gender identity i could not...#...avoid the newspaper thing unless i also changed my legal gender marker. and i had to back out bc i have reproductive health problems #i dont want a gender marker change to fuck with my getting healthcare #(i did change the gender letter on my ID card later tho which only took a signature on a paper no hassle with anything)#it really really fucking sucks how all these little things add up all the time #especially when im closeted while living w family who wont even use my preferred name #the real kicker is that. both my dad and his dad used preferred names. my dad used his middle name #and i use part of my middle name. yet my dad even in death still gets the dignity of being called his preferred name and i dont #sexism at its finest #reasons why i dont even hint at being trans around my moms side bc i already got bullied by them for wanting to use my middle name #ive literally been asking them to call me my mid name since i was 12. and theyve been acting like im trying to be someone else #its the same middle name on my birth certificate they gave me. i dont understand why they wouldnt want me to use it #but yeah i stay closeted bc i dont wanna deal with the name drama amplified exponentially for gender #prob get kicked out too cuz theyre queerphobic as fuck and i cant work rn and dont have a car #id have to just go full feral and live in the woods with the lizards where i belong #Cori.exe #Post.exe #fuck lol just looked it up and u cant change ur first name if u get married. i cant avoid the fucking fee man. let me be cori #literally why is it cheaper to get married than change ur first name! bullshit! marriage has so much more legal implications #transphobic queerphobic aromanticphobic privacyphobic poorphobic shit ass fucking state ive literally been cori most of my life ffs cmon

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nomairuins · 2 months

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i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.

#i literally like. i didnt tell u guys bc it was embarassing #but i had to hype myself up to eat a fucking orange the other day. like i was shaking and crying and i nearly threw up.#bc it fucking reminded me of All that and also bc its one of the only foods i got to eat outside ofm my one meal a day #while i was living there. bc my coworker gave me oranges sometimes #and one time she gave me a whole bag of cuties which was wonderful of her i miss her #but i pretty much like. bc during m-f i had a meal at work #and i could get something from the vending machine if i needed to #but on the weekends i had to either order food (which would always make me insanely nauseous bc of. the money stuff. yk) or just eat #what i had in my room bc i couldnt use the kitchen bc the roommates would be mad at me #and they might kick me out and id be actually fucked. its so crazy looking back that i genuinely the entire time i fucking lived there even #b4 the breakup the entire time i was in terror that theyd evict me. bc i wouldnt have been able to do anything abt it #i mean thats why i didnt like. leave him after he . and stuff. both bc i thought i didnt deserve anything better and bc i was terrified #theyd evict me and i wouldnt have any way to get home. it was terrifying #but ya. so for a couple weeks i rationed myself One orange per day lol. and on weekends that was all i was able to eat rly #idk. i hate ptsd. basicalllyyyy is the gist of ittt. and i keep thinking abt random fucking things they did to me #me when they jokingly tell me to starve myself when i literally have a fucking eating disorder. and when i told The Only Person i knew in #that fucking house abt it he told me i was being dramatic and i was just being greedy and etc. and then later when i got off work today i #saw on their fucking whiteboard in the kitchen i wasnt supposed to use Eat more <3 as one of their goals. while i went to sit in the garage #for the weekend eating a single fucking orange a day. god #idk. ive gotten better with eating i still have the scale but i ws able to go months without using it until the medical call the other week #and i havent used it since but. everytime i think abt all that itmakes me want to go back to it. i cant tho everyone would notice #i do still eat a wholee lot less than i did b4 washington but idk. idont remember if i even ate today i probably should but i dont feel #hungry but i cant even fucking trust that bc i Starved myself for so fucking long im too good at ignoring hunger. and i never was super in #touch with my body but im constantly numb now. idk.#ed ment #a2t #i ws gonna say more but it ws tmi + tag limit anyway. its just insane that my fucking ed wouldnt have happened if it werent for him and it #graduated i wouldnt have been isolatedinever wouldve had an ed. like 50% of my ptsd would be Gone if i just hadnt joined that discord. lol

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hiddenbeks · 4 months

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more than a month after my previous kotor update i am happy to announce that i have finally met jolee and had him join me <3

#el plays kotor #yes im still on kashyyyk dont look at me #i was distracted by other games for a sec lmao but sth made me return to kotor yesterday #and now the party is complete!!!#and i have found 3 star maps and the plot is thickening!!!!#i keep wondering. if i hadn't been spoiled abt the pc's true identity would i have pieced it together by now #bc the foreshadowing isn't exactly subtle #or maybe it just feels unsubtle to me precisely because i know what is being foreshadowed....#but like. from the very beginning carth is like hmm its kinda sus that you happened to be on the endar spire #and then all those conversations with bastila that make u go hmmmm what's that supposed to mean #and then... when getting the star map on kashyyyk the hologram says sth abt you matching the required behavioral patterns or whatev #and that the last time it was used was five years ago And you can reply with 'hey revan was in these parts five years ago right'#like!!! yeah!!!! it was me!!!! i was the last user five years ago thats why i match the pattern i am revannnnnnnn #i have to know. did the first kotor players back in 2003 figure it out by this point hngngngnhng #or like any other players after 2003 who played and managed to avoid spoilers #anyway back to jolee. he is so cool but also so squishy on god #apparently some ppl give him a blaster to keep him out of melee but like you cant give a blaster to a jedi..... so uncivilized.......#i set him to use force powers until he runs out of force points #but the moment he runs out of force points and jumps into the fray he goes down. sigh #maybe im doing something wrong again. maybe i should let go of my jedi pride and just give him a blaster #i should also probably use all those energy shields and battle stimulants i have hoarded. i keep forgetting abt them lmao #also!!! @ the mutual who sent me that kotor related ask also more than a month ago i just wanted to let u kno. i have replied to it #i mean if u missed it or if u didnt get a notif or forgot or anything else that's cool !!#i just get all worried that ppl might think i havent answered and that im ignoring them if they dont indicate they've seen the reply gfhgfh #but that's a me issue. i just wanted to make sure u knew 🫶#anyway!! next stop manaan maybe #but first a detour to tatooine to deal with mission's useless deadbeat brother

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microwaving-tesilid-argente · 5 months

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creating a spreadsheet of the trio's lines in the webnovel vs webcomic (as one does), and. i am on the FLOOR their characterisation differs so much from the webnovel and webcomic?!?!??? 😭😭 they took away all of hestio's flavour!!! and Ephael is a lot more stereotypical sunshine too i am losing my mind

Gone:

In the toy mansion, Ephael said that Tesilid was not just his friend, but his "best friend", so Ailette gave him more food. Hestio got very visibly sad and angry.

Whenever they're in battle, Hestio kind of talks to Ephael like he's a P*kemon ("Ephael, go and bite them!" / "Uh... okay.")

Ephael is pretty quiet and subdued throughout the toy mansion, while in the comic he's very artificially cheery.

ALMOST THE ENTIRETY OF HESTIO'S LINES WHEN THEY SNUCK TESILID FOOD IN PRISON IS GONE?!?!?!?? 😭😭😭😭😭😭 THE VIBES ARE SO DIFFERENT

Webnovel has BOTH Hestio and Ephael handing over food (in the webcomic only Ephael brought food. I dunno what Hestio was doing there.)

ONLY the webnovel has Hestio's extremely cute "What? Are you going to refuse the food because the rules are important? (annoyed but also genuinely scared)" / ".....I thought I'd have to shove the food down your mouth if you refused. Well, eat up."

The webcomic has Hestio suddenly ruin the entire mood by saying "🙄😒 did you know 🤓 the vatican is taking things out on you bc you refuse to kill heretics. also idc if the heretics are actually evil or not, what matters is that the vatican wants to know if youre on their side." like stfu please 😭 In the webnovel Hestio only brings this up because Ephael went "cheer up! if it werent for the city making a fuss, the vatican wouldn't have done this" and Hestio corrected him bc he wanted Tesilid not to misunderstand his situation with the Vatican.

What did they make comic!Hestio so callous for !!!!! 😭😭😭 Hestio is a SOFTIE with a mean streak and sharp tongue!!!

#a transmigrator's privilege #the perks of being an s class heroine #vatican trio #hestio ligenel #ephael chaletino #CRYING MY EYES OUT #THEIR NOVEL CHARACTERISATION IS SO CUTE THO?!?!??????#spoilers in next tags #on god if they take away hestio shutting up and ephael taking over the convo in the reunion scene i am going to CRY #that scene is so precious to me?!??#novel dynamic of hestio being the one taking the lead and ephael backing him up is so precious to me #anyway if anyone wants access to the spreadsheet lmk.... sobbing #anw i started this mini project bc ora you said that you couldnt tell who was talking in mirror dungeon (so valid)#and i was like oh the more casual one is eph-- ....is it actually? where did i get this impression #im done w the tutorial arc but its alr making me MISERABLE wym their characterisation changes so much 😭😭😭😭#anw in their childhood they both talk in v similar ways #as adults one of them is casual and the other uses more formal speech patterns #also if any one is cussing either ephael or tesilid out its almost definitely hestio. lol.#by the process of elimination (no one else in the party would be so rude to ephael)#and ephael is generally more chill about tesilid #u cant really tell while reading but ephael very rarely says bad things about tesilid #its usually hestio that's mean about it and hes so loud + ephael doesnt disagree with him so its v easy to attribute it to him too #i mean ephael prob also shares the same thoughts. but its usually hestio voicing it and w that much negativity #ephaels just like lol our boy tesilid is up to his usual hijinks again. haha #while hestio is like UGH this ASSHOLE can you fucking BELIEVE HIM. just LOOK at him what does he think he's doing #ephael (neutral): oh tesilid not again #hestio (screaming and full of hate): tesilid not again!!

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sukugo · 1 year

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got COCKBLOCKED in my own HOUSE (both literally and figuratively 🤔)

#f.txt #the house is my dreams. but the dream was in my house #ANYWAYS I HAD A DREAM. WHERE I WAS GONNA FUCK ANAKIN. BUT I DIDN'T BC DGSKDHSJHD #MY MOM CAME INTO THE ROOM 😭😭😭#so it started with anakin and me in a room. anakin was on a desk with his back to me working on some stuff on a computer #he was wearing s shiny tight leather jacket and jeans. and FUCK did he look delicious. just incredible #so i go to him and i like lift up his jacket from behind and start grabbing his waist.#and then i grab his crotch and start rubbing it (he had a tiny dick <3) (AND I STILL REMEMBER THE FEELING OF IT 😭😭😭😭)#at first he doesn’t want to and he kinda resists. but we all know im into that shit.#but then actually he does get into it and wants to. so i take him and push him into the bed #OK DGDJHF actually there was someone else who wanted to fuck him too in the room with us #idk who it was and for some reason all i remember is that it was spiderman (but i go like BITHC IM gonna fuck him)#(actually i think we agreed to both do it or smth idk) so then there's like some dick grabbing action going on #and then. my mom comes in.#and I'm like. girl. why. why would u do this to me. how could u fucking do this to me. do u not see me having THE moment of my life.#so she uhh sees us. and she's like uhhhh. and we make like if we weren't doing anything ahaaa whaat nothing weird going on here.#so in a desperate attempt to continue i grab anakin's hand and take him to the other room. where apparently there's my brother.#and i want to cry. bc CANT A GIRL HAVE HER PRIVACY PLS (like i get it irl but NOT EVEN IN NY DREAMS 😭😭)#anyways so instead we just like. lay in bed. im between his legs bc no one's gonna fucking get me out of ther now lmao #and we start playing clapping games. bc what else are we supposed to do. and my mom COMES IN HERE too #to u know check up on what we're doing. and the position is uhh not innocent but we're like hey we're just playing.#so she leaves. and then we get up and run in circles lmao.#but anyways yeah that was the end of the anakin fucking 😭😭😭#then it was hours of me having to listen to my mom and aunt talking about life hardships or smth #OH BUT THE END. i had another lil dream about exo/specifically kai. SPECIFICALLY about his thighs.#like there was a comeback or smth but his thighs were incredible. and then there's like a dance scene but he's mini tiny shorts #and when he moves u can See Things 😳👀#anyway that is the story. no anakin fucking for me 😭😭😭😭😭😭#i feel like this dream is so. representation of my Life. like yeah. this is literally my life.

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girlwiththegreenhat · 7 months

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you ever hate on something you've never played/watched/read for what are still moderately good reasons given the circumstances, and then decide to go and play/watch/read the thing just to be fair. just to give it a chance

and then you were not only Right but its Worse Somehow and you're actually just more pissed off now