#i am just. so tired and upset and defeated ugh

[agayconcept]

.

[sassycheesecake]

A/N: I am so sorry if my stories are not that exciting lately, night shift has been messing with my sleep schedule and kicking my ass. I am just trying to write on my days off. 🥹 Also, I apologize for making Atsumu the asshole here, he’s my bae but my Osamu fever is through the roof.

cw: pining!Osamu, cheating on Atsumu’s side, angst to fluff, cursing, physical fight but nothing major

It’s quiet in Onigiri Miya where you’re working at.

You’re currently wiping down the already shiny counters, just trying to pass the time until the shop closes.

Looking at the clock on the wall, you have 8 minutes left on your shift and in 8 minutes Onigiri Miya closes for the night.

'Ugh. I just want to go home.‘

"Yannow, if ya keep wipin‘ the counters like that, eventually mah shop‘s gonna smell like a surgery room." A deep voice interrupts your wiping.

Squeaking in surprise, you see your boss Osamu Miya leaning against the kitchen door, wiping his hands with a towel to look at you.

Stopping your task, you huff and lean against the counter behind you.

"But I have already done everything for the night. I mopped the floors, I cleaned the tables at least twice, I sweeped in front of the door, restocked everything and I wiped off the menus." You count down.

Seeing your tired face, Osamu tells you that he will close up the shop now, since it doesn't look like any costumers are going to come in the last remaining minutes.

You give him a tired yet thankful smile while taking off your uniform apron for the night.

Mirroring your smile and waiting for you to come outside with him, he locks the door behind him, taking your jacket from your arms and putting it on you like the gentleman he is.

With both of you walking down the street from the shop, Osamu puts on his own jacket and offers to accompany you to your car.

Accepting his offer, you both make your way to the parking lot.

"So, how’s that shit boyfriend of yours doing?" Osamu walks next to you as he breathes in the cold air.

"That’s not a nice way to talk about your brother." You shove him slightly as you laugh at his remark about his twin.

He still waits for your reply, his metallic eyes watching your beautiful and the way your eyes gleam with happiness whenever you laugh.

Soon though, your expression turns sad and Osamu immediately frowns at your sudden change.

"He’s doing good, I think. He’s been at training for the majority of the day, he gets home very late and immediately goes to sleep as soon as his head hits the bed pillow. We haven’t really talked lately and whenever I tried to engage into a conversation with him, he would block me off or be extremely upset and yell at me, just storm off afterwards to stay either at Bokuto’s or Hinata’s place. I think it also adds to the fact that MSBY has not been doing good lately."

To say Osamu was shocked at your explanation, was an understatement.

I mean yeah, his brother could be an selfish, arrogant asshole at times but never would Osamu think his brother would raise his voice at you.

Without realizing it, Osamu’s hands ball into fists in his hoodie pockets and he can feel his blood pressure rising, along with his heart beat going faster.

Arriving next to your car, Osamu feels very uneasy to let you go.

"Are ya sure yer’ll be fine? I don’t feel very good bout sending ya home like this. Want me to accompany ya? I’ll give ‘im a good beatin' for treatin’ ya like this."

You give him a thankful but reassuring smile.

"It’s okay, really. If something is wrong, I’ll let you know immediately."

Osamu sighs in defeat but lets you go home.

Nonetheless, Osamu still feels a slightly heavy weight in his stomach about seeing you go home while Atsumu could already be in a bad mood.

Making his own way home now, he tries to call his brother a couple of times but fails to get a hold of that good-for-nothing dickhead.

Arriving at his apartment, Osamu takes a hot shower, trying to get rid of his haunting thoughts of you.

The pressure of his shower head relieves the ongoing stress inside of the chef’s head and he can finally feel himself relax.

Drying himself off with a black towel, he wraps it around his waist and walks into his dark bedroom to get into a comfy shirt with sweats.

When he leans back in his couch, the ravenette puts on a random show on Netflix, trying desperately to get you out of his head.

Meanwhile, you arrived home in your shared apartment with Atsumu, when you notice an unfamiliar pair of black sandals with heels on them next to Atsumu’s familiar gray All Star sneakers.

You definitely know that you don’t own these kind of shoes and you start to feel nauseous and the world seems to spin a little bit slower now.

Gulping down in nervousness, you begin to make your way towards the only light source from the living room.

The closer you get, the more you can hear high-pitched giggling and your boyfriend’s laugh, that you had grown to love.

Sneaking a peek around the wall, you feel your heart break into a million pieces.

Shattered, feeling like it’s been ripped apart into shreds by a pack of rabid wolves.

Your chest feels incredibly heavy, like an anchor pulling your fractured heart to the deepest depths of the ocean.

Atsumu sits on the couch with his arms spread out on each side, his back towards you and there is an incredibly beautiful woman sitting on top of his lap, her long platinum blonde hair frames her heart-shaped face, adding more beauty to her than there already is.

She caresses his face while he kisses up her neck and the sound of his lips touching her skin is making you nauseous.

Slowly stepping back, you can't watch anymore of this.

Is this why he has been so moody lately? Was this the reason why he stayed 'late at practice'?

How long has this been going on?

Before your rambling thoughts continue, you hear something that gives you the final strike into your heart.

"Tsumu are you sure your girlfriend won't be home soon?"

"Nah baby, she won' be home for another hour or so. She always takes so long in da shop with mah brother ta help him. An' I don' wanna talk bout her, yer all that matters right now."

Ouch.

Tears begin to gather in your eyes and you quickly make a run for the door, making sure you don't make a single noise as you slip out of the apartment as quiet as a mouse.

As you stand outside in the cold, you feel raindrops hitting your face, the more seconds pass, the more raindrops keep coming.

Not knowing what you should do now, you go to the only place that's not too far from you and where you can seek shelter hopefully for the night.

Currently watching the newest episode on ‘Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead', Osamu rests on his couch with his feet propped up on his coffee table when his doorbell rings.

Frowning in confusion, he checks the time on his phone.

'22:26. The hell?’

The ravenette reaches for his baseball bat underneath his couch, ready to put up a fight if necessary.

When he checks his peephole, he sees you.

Completely drenched, shaking and you are…. crying?

Opening his door, you look up to Osamu, your red eyes, red cheeks and tears running down your face are breaking Osamu’s heart.

Before he can say anything though, you emerge into his personal space, hugging him while wetting his black Black Clover shirt with more tears of yours.

"Hey, hey. What’s the matter? What happened?" He whispers, his rough voice deep of concern when he wraps his hands around your arms.

Still sobbing, you mumble something into his shirt, burying your face in his muscular chest.

"Come in, yer'll catch yer death otherwise."

Closing the door behind you, he locks it before gently leading you to his couch.

When you both sit down, you have calmed down a little bit but you still feel like you're suffocating from the lack of air.

"A-Atsumu...h-he cheated on me." You begin to cry again hysterically, while Osamu widens his eyes in shock.

"He what?!"

"I-I came home a-and I saw them both…Osamu…c-can I… c-can I please stay h-here j-just for tonight?" You ask him with a big whimper, the wetness and cold from the rain made you incredibly tired, along with crying so much on the way to Osamu’s apartment.

"Of course ya can. Here, take a nice hot shower an’ then I will give ya somethin’ of mine ta sleep in, kay?" Osamu guides to the bathroom, telling you that if you need anything, just to yell for him.

Sniffling, you thank him and head into his shower.

The younger twin is about this close to run to your apartment and beat up that lying, cheating asshole.

But he can’t leave you alone. Not when you are in a state like this.

He makes some lavender tea, hopefully it will help you calm down and fall asleep later on.

After fifteen minutes, he hears you come out, the hot steam fog of the shower being released into the hallway.

You’re wearing Osamu’s old high school jersey since it’s too small on him but it fits your body perfectly. His gray sweats go a little past your knees, giving off an extremely cute vibe that makes the ravenette blush slightly at the sight of you.

Even though you look like a wreck (and you feel like it too), Osamu would and will always find you gorgeous, no matter what you wear.

"Thank you for your clothes and the shower, I needed it." You quietly thank him, almost so quiet, that Osmau can barely hear you.

"I made sum tea, ya want any?" He holds the hot mug out to you.

Accepting the tea mug, you take a small sip, the heat of the lavender tea burning your tongue.

"Thank you. Do you mind if I stay here tonight? I don’t want to go home to that apartment." You can feel yourself tearing up again, the picture of Atsumu and that woman haunts your mind.

"Of course ya can. I don' have a guest room but ya can take my bed, I‘ll take the couch."

"But-" You want to protest but get interrupted.

"No buts. Ya had a rough night, ya need ta sleep properly." Guiding you to his bedroom, Osamu mentally breathes out a sigh of relief when he remembered that he cleaned up his room and made his bed in the morning before he left.

The dark room is suddenly light up, giving you a full and clear view of the younger twin's room.

A queen sized bed with neatly made black and red sheets is resting against the corner of the left side of the room, in the middle a desk and in the right corner a book case with several mangas and cooking books from different cuisines are fully stacked on each shelf.

On the wall where his office desk is, are various pictures of his old volleyball team from Middle and High School, some signed cards of Tobio Kageyama, Kōtarō Bokuto and Kiyoomi Sakusa.

Every time Atsumu would come by, wether it be announced or unannounced, Osamu has to hide Kageyama's card before Atsumu throws a fit and burns it.

Finishing the last remains of the tea cup Osamu made you, he pulls the covers back for you to get in.

Taking the cup from you, he waits until you get in and get comfortable.

"Don' hesitate ta wake me up if ya need anything, kay? An' sleep in tomorrow. Eri will cover ya shift, I texted in the group chat already and she's happy ta take yer shift."

Your eyes widen in surprise and fondness, tears coming up again from his kind words and his consideration of your situation.

Nodding with a trembling lip, you squeeze your eyes shut, trying to stop more tears from coming in.

Osamu sighs heavily, feeling extremely bad for you.

No one should have to go through that.

When Osamu is about to leave, he hears your broken voice and it sets off a pang in his heart to hear you so beaten down.

"Osamu... I hope this isn't too much to ask or makes you uncomfortable in any way but... can you please stay with me? I-I don't want to be alone tonight... a-all I see is them..."

Your request makes his breath hitch and his heart beats faster, thankfully he still has his back turned to you, so you can't see the redness in his face.

Millions of thoughts are running through Osamu's head right now.

How will this situation change your relationship with each other?

Should he say no? Should he say yes?

Should he take the risk and lay in bed with you while trying to fight off his deep crush on you?

Is he betraying the bro code by sleeping besides you?

Will he-

Seeing the stiffness in his back, you feel bad and it makes you speak up again.

"Forget I said anything. I shouldn't have-"

"No I understand, I'll stay with ya." Osamu breathes out, trying to calm down his racing heart.

Shutting off the light, he makes his way over to you, laying down in his familiar smelling bed sheets but now with a hint of his shampoo that comes from your freshly showered hair.

There's little space between the two of you, the ravenette is way too nervous and stiff to come any closer to you.

So he just lays on his back with his arms resting behind his head, trying to think how this situation is going to go on.

The only thing he knows is that he should try to avoid his brother in the next couple of days.

Unfortunately, his luck doesn't last very long

Because the next day, Osamu lets you sleep in, the image of your exhausted face and the way you were clinging onto him for dear life last night still plasters his mind.

After his lunch rush at Onigiri Miya, Osamu puts the rest of the cash in the register, when the entrance doorbell chimes, making the owner look up from what he is doing.

The person who enters is none other than his brother, Atsumu Miya in his golden MSBY track suit.

Seeing the blonde's face honestly made Osamu's blood boil with rage but he is doing a great job so far at keeping a neutral mask.

His brother seems in a great mood and when the sandy-blonde walks closer, Osamu can see a couple of dark patches on the Setter's neck.

'That son of a bitch.'

Taking a calming breath, Atsumu greets his brother while taking a seat in front of the counter before he can say anything.

"Whassup nerd? Can I have sum tuna onigiri with spring onion ta go?"

Without saying anything, Osamu turns around to the kitchen and makes his brother's order, desperately trying not to turn around and smash his fist in his stupid face.

"So. Had a busy night with (Y/N) huh?" He calls from the kitchen.

Without seeing Atsumu’s face, Osamu can already tell he caught him off guard.

I mean, he’s known his twin for a good 25 years but apparently not good enough to find out that he cheated on you out of all people.

A beautiful, caring and loyal person.

Even when Osamu found out the both of you were dating, he doubted his twin’s loyalty to you.

But your sunshine behavior seemed to block out the dark cloud Atsumu was constantly forming over your head.

All of sudden, after a few seconds of silence, Atsumu answers back with a nervous laugh.

"Hehe yeah, we were pretty busy. That little minx had me goin’ all night long."

‘Gotcha.’

Osamu didn’t know what else to expect.

When the ravenette comes back with Atsumu’s order, he places it in front of him, crossing his arms before leaning over the counter to watch his brother.

Biting into the first half of the delicious onigiri, the Setter chews in satisfaction.

"Yannow what’s funny Tsumu?" The younger twin asks with a questioning voice.

"What?" Atsumu replies in return with a perched eyebrow and his mouth full of food.

"(Y/N) must have a twin as well, cuz last night someone who looked, sounded and acted exactly like (Y/N) came ta my place last night. Crying her eyes out saying her disloyal, blonde boyfriend cheated on her with a blonde chick on their couch last night when she came home."

The blonde looks incredibly pale all of sudden, almost choking on his food.

"How could ya do that to her ya piece of shit!" Osamu hisses through his teeth like an angry dog.

"It’s nun of yer damn business." Atsumu snarls back but a little bit louder than Osamu.

"Do ya not have any regret or dignity at all?"

Atsumu looks to side, finding the fabric of the chair suddenly more interesting than his brother’s words.

"TSUMU!" A fist all of sudden reaches Atsumu’s Track jacket and his brown eyes find livid grayish-stormish eyes.

Thankfully no one is in Onigiri Miya right now, seeing the owner that full of rage could ruin the restaurant’s reputation and Osamu’s image.

But the ravenette could care less about that right now.

"Why’s it matter so much ta ya?"

Now Osamu is the one who is quiet.

Letting Atsumu go, the blonde fixes his jacket, his eyes still kept on Osamu.

"Ya like her, don'tcha?" The Setter's words are being spit like venom.

"Have ya been fuckin' her behind my back?!" Atsumu adds.

"The fuck did ya just say?!" Osamu‘s face and words are full of rage.

The tension grows more and more with each passing second, each twin seeing red only at the moment.

"YA HEARD ME YA LYIN' SCUMBAG."

"I DID NOT SCREW YER GIRLFRIEND BEHIND YA BACK ASSHOLE! SHE CAME CRYIN' TA ME LAST NIGHT CUZ YA AIN'T LOYAL ENOUGH TA KEEP ONE DECENT PERSON LIKE 'ER."

"Whatever. She's been borin' me out for a while now. Wouldn't have surprised me if she came onto ya next."

And this is the last straw that brings Osamu's fist to his brother's face.

Atsumu falls from the chair and lands on his back, the force of Osamu's punch knocks the air out of his lungs when he falls.

Quickly rounding the corner, the chef stands above the Setter, seeing that his brother‘s nose is bleeding.

Groaning in pain, Atsumu holds his nose, when he saw the blood on his hand, he gets back up and lunges for his twin.

Pushing his body weight against Osamu, the Setter shoves him into the counter where Atsumu sat.

The ravenette is pushing him back with all his might, trying to dodge Atsumu‘s punches.

Years of fighting each other though, Osamu has mesmerized his brother‘s fight style.

Kicking him to the side, Atsumu lets go of him, yelling out in pain and the Setter sees red, trying again to knock Osamu down.

Too engrossed with each other, they don’t hear you coming in.

"Atsumu!Osamu! Please! Stop!" You pant from the door, frantically getting between the tall men, separating them with your hands.

One of Osamu‘s employees, Hitoshi, who just came back from his smoke break, sees the scene before him and since he is a lot bigger than you, he is more successful in separating the twins fully.

Taking a quick look between them, Osamu has a small bleeding cut on his cheek, along with some bleeding on the corner of his mouth.

Atsumu looks a lot worse, Osamu surely got him good.

Atsumu has blood coming from his swollen, slightly off-to-the-side nose, a light purple bruise forming on his left eye already, along with a bleeding cut on his eyebrow above the injured eye.

Both are panting and glaring furious daggers at each other, when your voice and the gentle touch of your soft hand on Osamu’s face, the gray-eyed man looks towards you.

The ravenette calms down a little bit when he sees you.

Your deeply worried face snap him out completely out of his rage.

"Get out of mah shop. Don’t make me say it twice." Osamu threatens in a dark voice that you never heard him use before, it’s honestly a little frightening.

Atsumu looks between you and his brother, and for a moment you see a flash of hurt and regret in Atsumu's eyes. Clearly hurt, that you chose Osamu's side over his.

With a click against his tongue, Atsumu stares angrily at his brother before leaving Onigiri Miya.

Making sure his brother does not change his mind and re-enter his restaurant, Osamu looks at you for a brief second before going to his office in one swift turn without another word.

Hearing the door slam, you flinch visibly by the loudness.

"He‘ll calm down more if you talk to him. You were always his favorite. Go. I‘ll watch over everything here. Thank God we didn’t have any costumers…" Hitoshi whispers to you.

With your eyes widening a little bit at his words, you gulp a big lump down your throat and walk with anxious footsteps to your boss‘ office.

Very carefully opening the door, you peek your head in, seeing if Osamu wants to be left alone or not.

Seeing the light of the small bathroom in his office, you hear him hissing in pain a lot.

Building up the courage, you walk further inside, seeing him cleaning up his cut on his cheek with a cotton ball that he grabbed from the first-aid-box.

"Osamu? You okay?" You ask him in a quiet voice.

Breathing out a heavy sigh, he looks at you with tired but also scared eyes. As if he is scared that he frightened you in some way, due to the physical fight with his twin brother.

" 'm fine. This is nothing. Had it a lot worse a couple of times." The steel-gray eyed ravenette looks back into the mirror, continuing to clean up the wound.

Feeling extremely bad that you have been the reason for the fight, you offer him your help with his cuts.

Accepting your help, you wash your hands before attending to the slightly injured chef.

Pressing another cotton ball full of gauze to his cheek, he flinches away a little bit before relaxing again, actually enjoying your soft act towards him.

When you move to his corner of his busted lip, you try to tap it as careful as you can, highly focused on the task.

All Osamu can do is watch you in awe and even if he feels shitty that he got into a fight with his brother and possibly scared you, you seem like you’re actually enjoying helping him. When your eyes catch his own, your movements slow to a stop, entirely captured by his gaze on you.

When you get a really good look into his eyes, you notice it’s a beautiful shade of silver, on the outside part of irises are faint hint of light blue.

It’s honestly a pair of gorgeous eyes, you’ve never seen anything quite like it.

With yours and Osamu’s pupils dilating, a small blush begins to form on Osamu’s cheeks, as with yours as well.

Two hearts going a thousand miles a minute, yet you feel a strange sense of comfort going over you.

You feel safe, protected, home.

Without realizing it, the two of you begin to lean in towards each other, the handsome man in front of you flickering his eyes between your eyes and your lips.

Slowly closing the gap, you begin to feel slightly dry lips brushing against your own.

His warm breath mingles with yours and the ravenette rests his forehead against your own, tilting his head to the side to fully capture your lips with his own.

It’s a shy, almost inexperienced kiss, like neither of you two have kissed someone before.

Feeling his warm big hand against your cheek, you can feel it sliding behind your neck, grasping it to pull you closer to him.

After a few seconds, you both start to feel a hunger rise in you. But the more passionate the kiss got, the more Osamu started to feel pain from his cuts on his face.

Parting from you, you see Osamu’s lip starting to bleed again and your face flushes even more with heat and redness, apologizing while trying to catch your breath while Osamu is panting a little bit as well.

Realizing what you both just did, the former Opposite Hitter looks shocked, petrified even dare you say.

"I-I am sorry, (Y/N). I-I didn’t mean to-" He stammers but you interrupt him while placing your hands on his cheeks with a big smile.

"Hey, it’s okay. I wanted you to kiss me."

If it’s even possible, his eyes widen more but this time it’s excitement and happiness that fill his expression.

"Ya mean it?" He asks hopefully.

Instead of a reply, you show your feelings with actions instead of words by pulling him to your lips again, reconnecting them.

This time without hesitation, Osamu kisses you back, ignoring the pain this time.

When you part from, he tries to chase after you and you giggle in response.

A smile breaks out on his face, nuzzling your nose with his.

"Don' take this the wrong way, but ‘m glad my dumbass brother punched me in da face for standing' up for ya. Havin' ya here makes it so much better. Believe it or not but my heart always gets very excited whenever ya came in ta work together with me.''

You laugh a little bit at his words, caressing his face gently, admiring his love-struck gaze.

''Osamu... hearing you say that makes me incredibly happy..."

''I can sense a 'but' comin'.'' The ravenette clicks his tongue, gaining a bit of distance between the two of you.

''I.. I just... doesn't it make you feel weird that just one day ago I was dating your brother and the next day, after we broke up, we're kissing?'' You ask with uncertainty in your voice.

Osamu doesn’t reply for a few seconds, taking your words in.

"(Y/N) I ain’t gonna lie ta ya cuz that’s my brother’s thing. But ever since ya walked into my shop with that dazzling smile with yer application forms, it made me week in the knees. It’s like the world stopped movin' for a second. Yer kindness an' passion in yer job made me fall hard for ya." The chef admits in a serious voice but it also includes love and admiration.

His words made you blush and you look away with a shy smile.

A bruised hand finds your face once again, turning to look into your eyes.

When your eyes find his, you see his pupils dilating as he looks at you.

"Why don’t we take things slow then. We’ll go at yer pace, yer takin’ the reigns in this." His other hand takes one of your hands, squeezing it gently in order to comfort you.

Thinking about his offer, you’re considering it.

After a few minutes of thinking, you have your answer.

Lifting both of your hands and placing them on his face, making sure not to touch his wounds, your smile begins to widen, your stomach doing somersaults.

"Alright, I accept your offer."

Mirroring your smile, Osamu seals the deal by kissing you, a kiss full of passion and hope, that you can’t help but dream about the whole night when you go to bed that night.

[milflewis]

trick or treaaaat ❤️ - also a glass of milk for ur hangover🥛

It isn’t until 2017 that Sebastian has a problem with Michael flirting with Lewis.

Michael isn’t at the track for the Azerbaijan Grand Prix. He doesn’t go to many of the races anymore. He hears about it from Niki.

Sebastian calls him after he has seen the data. He’s gone all quiet, voice distorted like he is pressing the phone against his mouth.

It takes Michael a minute to understand what is going on.

“So you’re saying Lewis has forgiven you?”

An inhale. “Yes.”

“Okay. So. Why are you still upset?”

A harsh exhale. “Because he forgave me!”

“Right.”

And then: "I still don't get it."

Another exhale, breath whooshing. The sound comes out all crackly. It is the most defeated Sebastian has ever sounded. "He just — you had to see him. His face. I hurt him when I said those things. That he brake-tested. To him, it was worse I said this, I think. Worse than hitting into him."

Michael had dismissed Lewis when he first properly met him. He had noticed how fast he was, how quick on the corners and the way he managed his tires, and thought: huh. He'd then had a conversation with him, a handful of years later, and well — Michael has never really enjoyed looking in the mirror now has he? That gets boring fast.

But he's not — like Michael that is. Not completely. Not overwhelmingly. Just enough of himself that he's interesting.

Lewis doesn't like being accused of cheating. He's not the cleanest of drivers by far, even if he has tightened up his act in recent years. Michael doesn't have a line — or so he's been told. He never really thought about it before they shoved a microphone in his face and asked him to justify racing that everyone could be doing if they wanted to.

Michael exists on the extremes, threading the edges of things.

Lewis does not. Lewis cannot.

Michael isn't sure exactly what that line is - where the things he does starts and where the things he does not do ends - but he knows that inside Lewis there is a carefully bound book that has been read over and over, and written on its cover in Lewis's blocky handwriting is: RULES.

Being accused of cheating would be one terrible thing to Lewis. Being accused of cheating by Sebastian would be quite another.

From the sounds of it, Sebastian is starting to realise that Lewis considers him his Mika.

"I hurt him," Sebastian says, sounding very small. "I've never done that before. I didn't know I could."

"Yeah," Michael says, because he has nothing left to say but Sebastian is leaving space for him to speak. "You can. You're one of the few who can."

"And then he just forgave me! Like that! I said sorry and I said I was wrong and I said — other things — and he looked at me with The Face." Sebastian curses. "The only thing he says — listen to me now, Michael — the only thing — the one thing, he says is: are you going to tell everyone this?"

Michael hums. He kicks off his runners and stretches out his toes.

"And I say: yes, of course. I was waiting to talk to you. But I will. I was going to. And he just — ugh! He just smiles at me and -"

"Forgives you?"

"This is not funny."

Michael rolls his eyes, grinning. "Okay."

"It's not! He — fuck's sake. What am I supposed to do with this? That's all it took. All. Nothing at all. I want to break something. What do I do?"

Michael shrugs even though Sebastian cannot see him. "You love him. This is what Mika told me."

Sebastian is very quiet for a long moment. Michael would think he hung up on him if not for the sound of his breathing.

"Mika," he says eventually, voice strange. "Right. I forgot about your Thing with Lewis."

Michael doesn't say anything.

"You have to be careful with him, Michael. You have to. Promise me. This matters."

Michael rolls his eyes again. He thinks about telling Sebastian that a person only has enough room in their body for one Mika and Michael isn't Lewis's, and Lewis isn't Michael's, so it is okay. Michael can only do so much damage. He thinks about telling him that he made Lewis laugh — actually full belly, bent over double laugh — and Lewis's hand was warm and heavy on his shoulder. He snorted at the end, hiccuping, and it was a ridiculous sound for a person to make. Michael can't wait to hear it again. He thinks about telling him that sometimes he is the fifth, sixth — tenth — person that Lewis notices when he walks into a crowded room. Michael dreads the day that he isn't seen at all.

"I know," he goes with instead.

"Promise me." Sebastian sounds almost angry.

Michael looks at the ceiling. You're so young, he thinks.

"Promise," he says.

[mythologyfolklore]

Liù'ěr Míhóu joins the jttw gang, or: How to redeem an all-hearing celestial monkey with a superiority complex and a seriously bad attitude

Chapter Twenty-Two: Tripitaka is just done.

.

Tripitaka kept a lot of secrets from the other pilgrims. Secrets he had no intention of ever revealing.

Like the dark thoughts that invaded his mind, whenever he was kidnapped by random demons.

Never would he tell his disciples about the hatred he felt towards most demons. Or about the sick satisfaction he felt, whenever Wùkōng and Wùhuàn came to rescue him and made short work of his kidnappers.

No, there was no way he'd ever voice those reprehensible thoughts.

His own helplessness and lack of agency had shattered his illusions and left him feeling less compassionate than he let on. That too would have stayed hidden behind a kindly façade, if only his new disciple wasn't so astute. But oh well, you couldn't have everything. And Tripitaka would rather put up with Wùhuàn's bad attitude than be in the situation he currently was in.

Yes, he'd been kidnapped again.

Yes, he was tied up in a cell.

Yes, he could hear his captors argue about how to best prepare him for a meal.

No, he didn't give a damn.

One of the few things the monk was truly confident in was that he wouldn't get eaten. His disciples would prevent that, as always.

The thought made him smile.

That didn't escape the kidnappers.

“What's there to smile about, monk?!”, snapped one of them.

Tripitaka chuckled: “My disciples are coming to save me.”

The other kidnapper scoffed: “Hah! As if they could get past the guards, let alone defeat us!”

The monk just smiled serenely. “Oh? Don't you know who my disciples are?”

.

“How many demons are in there?”, whispered Wùjìng.

“I hear 144 heartbeats”, Liù'ěr Míhóu whispered back. “A dozen times a dozen. What a clean number.”

Bājiè stared at the six-eared monkey like he had grown a second head. “The fuck does that have to do with the situation?!”

The other shrugged: “Dunno, I just like numbers.”

“Can you guys shut the hells up? I'm trying to make a rescue plan here!”, Wùkōng snarled.

So the others shut their mouths and waited, until the Monkey King was done planning.

The brunet monkey sighed and turned back to the others. “Okay, so here is the plan: Liù'ěr Míhóu and I will sneak inside. Bājiè and Wùjìng, you will distract the kidnappers-”

“Why am I always the distraction?”, complained Bājiè.

Wùkōng's eyes narrowed. “Because you're distracting, that's why. Also, you two will be fine, you're just gonna lure out their army and take them out, while-”

“I'm sick and tired of always being the bait!”, the pig demon snapped.

The Monkey King had to resist the urge to use his laser eyes on Bājiè.

No, he couldn't incinerate the pig. Master would be upset. And if he was upset, it spelled headache time for Wùkōng. Nope, not worth it.

“Ugh, fine! Just shut the fuck up! Okay, change of plan. Liù'ěr Míhóu, you slip inside and take care of Master, while the three of us fight the demon army … what's with that face?”, Wùkōng questioned, when he saw the Six-Eared Macaque's expression shift.

The other's face was scrunched up in concentration as he seemingly listened for specific voices.

“They're talking to slaphead … oh, he's warning them that we're coming to get him. Sounds a little too excited there. And now they're rambling about how we totally can't beat them, blablabla. Now he's giving them our names … they're not taking it seriously …” He scowled. “They're asking him about the bĭqiūní¹ he's training. He says he has no female disciple … now the fuckers are asking about me directly.”

Wùjìng mirrored the monkey's scowl. “Ah. They're that kind of asshats.”

“Apparently”, Liù'ěr Míhóu continued. “… oh, he's trying to explain to his kidnappers, how my temperament works! How gutsy! Remind me to get him some extra rice cakes later. Aaannnd they're brushing it off and insisting I'm a woman. Of course. Fucking arse- wait … his pulse is quickening … his breathing too … wow, he just ground his teeth! I think he's getting angry!”

Wùkōng's mouth suddenly felt dry; when Tripitaka ground his teeth, he was livid. And the monk never got this angry with anyone other than …

No, he had to calm down. This was stupid, his master was angry at the kidnappers, not at him, there wouldn't be pain this time, no recitation of the Tightening Sutra, why was he scared, he needed to stop-

“Eldest Brother?”

Wùjìng's gentle voice was barely reaching his ears. But it was enough to snap him back to reality. He opened his eyes (when had he even closed them?) and saw his younger brothers stare at him in concern – even Bājiè.

“You, uh … you okay there?”, the pig demon asked awkwardly. And got smacked on the head by Liù'ěr Míhóu.

“He's panicking and hyperventilating, the fuck do you think, hogface?”

Oh … I am … how the fuck did that happen? Just now I was … shit. In front of the others too, why, they weren't supposed to see me like this, why???

A large webbed hand on his back brought him back to his senses again.

“Eldest Brother, take it easy”, Wùjìng said gently. “Tell you what, why don't you stay with Bái Lóng Mă and have a moment to breathe, while we handle the whole rescue plan? We have Youngest Brother with us, it won't be a problem.”

The Monkey King just nodded weakly.

Suddenly Liù'ěr Míhóu snorted.

Wùkōng scowled: “What's so funny?!”

The other monkey snickered: “You're gonna love this! He's chewing them out for reducing me to my physical bodyparts. Hah! He just told them they're an embarrassment to their family! Brutal! Now one of them's bawling like a kid! That's fucking hilarious!”

At that Wùkōng couldn't help but laugh.

.

“Just to make this clear: I regret nothing!”, Tripitaka declared, after having been rescued.

“I bet!”, Wùhuàn snickered. “You roasted them like ducks on a skewer! It was priceless!”

“I would never roast a duck. But thank you. That being said …”, he threw a concerned glance at his eldest disciple, “… what's wrong with Pilgrim? Did something happen, while I was away?”

That question was answered by Wùjìng: “When Youngest Brother informed us he heard you get angry at your kidnappers, I think it triggered something in Eldest Brother, even though he knew your anger wasn't directed at him. Perhaps some reassurance would help him feel better?”

The monk frowned and approached his eldest disciple, who was drawing into the ground with a stick.

“Pilgrim?”, he asked gently.

Wùkōng looked up. “Oh, Master. Do you need something?”

Tripitaka shook his head. “No, I'm fine. But are you okay? You seem shaken.”

“I …” A gulp. “… It's nothing.”

“Right, and I like sex”, the monk deadpanned.

To his satisfaction, Pilgrim chortled.

Tripitaka sobered up again. “But seriously. I can tell it's not nothing. What's wrong?”

The monkey lowered his head. “I … I'm sorry I wasn't part of the rescue this time”, he mumbled.

Holy Bodhisattva.

The human sighed, but crouched down (as best as he could with his aching back) and cupped his disciple's face in his hands.

“No, Pilgrim, no. Don't apologise for that. You needed a breather and that's okay. I don't fault you for that. Besides, your younger brothers did just fine rescuing me, didn't they?”

“I-”

“And you didn't resort to violence this time either (though I had to scold Wùhuàn for the bloodbath he caused). No, you've done well today. You've been a good monkey.” He opened his arms. “Do you want a hug?”

As soon as he finished that sentence, he found himself with two arms full of monkey.

.

---

.

1) bĭqiūní: a Buddhist nun

[weebsinstash]

the overturning of Roe v Wade happened and pregnancy felt disgusting and a physical threat to be defeated

I felt that. I an asexual person with zero intention of getting married or having a baby but seeing Roe v Wade, I just... feel the need to have my tubes tied? Which should not even be a thing I consider since I have no plans to have sex. Those radical religious/misogynisitc views that are popping up nowadays just make me feel very disgusted at things that are... Really not horrible. Nothing wrong about being a housewife, or getting pregnant, but the way those incels with a mic talk about women in their podcasts just create very unhealthy relationships between women and "womanhood"/traditionally feminine things.

What's so fucked up is like the exact same people saying shit like "oh these gross LGBTQRSTUV alphabet mafia freaks are trying to groom and molest our kids! How dare they try to say kids need to learn about safe sex and periods and not to send nudes or address sex in any way other than abstinence!" will then turn around say "wow, asexuals? How UNNATURAL. You aren't PROCREATING like GOD INTENDED. You're ALSO somehow grooming our kids" and it's just like. Fuck. Leave people alone about their fucking sexuality and gender presentation.

And then sometimes I try to discuss this with my mom because like we discuss politics a lot and she's, you know, a woman and has raised me and ill seek her perspective as my mom and a woman and an adult, and sometimes she'll just be "oh don't read all that, youre getting upset over trolls, people are just stupid" ok well these stupid people can VOTE and sometimes these stupid people ARE the ones we're voting for!!! Like! I'm so tired of seeing bullshit like Americans saying "haha good on Country XYZ for making it legal to beat those t slurs in public, this is just MODERN WESTERN PROPAGANDA" and I want to scream shit like "India has recognized trans people for over 3000 years you fucking bigoted moron"

Like!!! Ugh!! Should I be furious or sad!!! (Putting the rest under a rm because this gets a little long and I also discuss abortion/miscarriage)

Fucking idiots saying shit like "oh just use birth control there's like 30 kinds" and guess what motherfucker literally the only 100% effective ones involve SURGERY. Even my OWN MOTHER got pregnant on a diaphragm. Fuck you! Fuck you! You think abortions are being used as birth control? I know at least two people who've had them and they can be ABSOLUTELY EXCRUCIATING, I am talking SCREAMING TO STOP THE PROCEDURE KINDS OF PAIN. "Oh women just want to avoid accountability" bitch some of them don't want to DIE, some of them can't raise a disabled child, some of them have diseases and conditions that can't be passed on

I... may have had some risky sex a while back with, minor precautions, ok I'll be the dumb irresponsible slut and say the pull out method was used, and while nothing came of that, obviously, literally my game plan after it happened and post nut clarity hit was "ok well I know if I need an abortion there are people who literally terrorize you outside the clinics so maybe I'll just kill myself". And you know what, I wasn't even intending to do that kind of thing, the unsafe sex, it was just, you know, happened fast and in the heat of the moment, and it happened briefly. Even I, as someone who has never wanted children and FEARED motherhood all my life, made that kind of mistake. And I spent the following three weeks in absolute TERROR waiting for my period, thinking of all the people who would happily force me to carry a child that would no doubt inherit my physical disability, my genetic disorders, and wouldn't be wanted by me or the father (and im not saying that as anything against him we are both very anti kid lol)

It's so upsetting because like, people have different opinions, and in some cases can you really say if an opinion is right or wrong? But so often do I see things that are inhumane, grotesque even. I was reading a story of a woman who was forced to carry a malformed fetus to a full pregnancy where it passed that same day. Here you have a woman who was forced to deliver what was essentially a corpse, the trauma that must have caused her, not just in mind but also in body. 9 months, 9 months of knowing it was being born just to die. And. People were legitimately replying "better that than to be ripped limb from limb inside the womb" that's a specific form of third trimester abortion which wasn't even what she was asking for you fucking idiot. "Better for the baby to know its mother's touch" it literally didn't have a properly formed brain and we don't even know if it could have even SENSED anything besides agony. "I would have wanted to hold my baby before it passed" you would have let a fetus which had abnormalities discovered in the first trimester to fully develop into a child so it could die in horrible pain just for your moral closure?

I read a comment just a few days ago that was legitimately one of the most disgusting things I had ever read and dear God I hope this person was lying but they said "I know a catholic woman who was pregnant and found out her baby would be born terminal and die shortly after birth. She carried it the full pregnancy so she could baptize it" THAT'S ABHORRENT. For you non religious folk, which I am too but I have some secondhand knowledge, the point of baptism is the idea that we are all born into sin and must be like cleansed to be children of God or something like that. And to be blunt I consider this woman an absolute monster and I replied as such.

"She let a newborn baby suffer in agony just so she could dip it in her magic fairy water? And she thinks she's the GOOD GUY?"

It's just. Ugh. I don't even know. I use culture and country as an excuse for religious freedom and sexual and gender expression (ie. Banning trans people from being visible is prejudiced to Indians, Native Americans, Samoans, Judaism, etc) but then people turn around and say "but it's my culture or religion to be homophobic/not allow abortion" and then I just want to say "well you're just an idiot who can't think for themselves then and you need to get with the fucking times :)" like obviously I am not perfect but I believe basic human rights transcends borders and beliefs. Like for example, similar but different, Malaysia is about to literally hang a man just for having a kilo of weed and people are happily saying "don't do the crime if you can't do the time" and its like do you understand it's inherently problematic to just say "their country, their rules" right. Like some places use that as an excuse to keep forms of slavery. Like to circle the argument back around states rights was an argument to try and keep slavery and now states rights is being used as an argument to criminalize abortion?

Like I try not to bring the vibe here down too often but these conversations are important. We as human beings should be helping and protecting each other and I feel a legitimate fear of society approaching some sort of social collapse or civil war. Like even if you're opposed to abortion you should actually still be voting in favor of keeping abortion because, if abortion is outlawed on moral and religious grounds, it will start the ball rolling for banning other medical procedures out of opinion and not fact. You know we already let the insurance companies do that right? Tell people their life savinf treatment isn't covered because they don't deem it medically necessary even though insurance agents arent doctors? Even on my main blog I boosted a post about a person with severe endometriosis who is being denied a hysterectomy because of their weight by the NHS but a private clinic will save them for a price, and meanwhile the endo is impacting organs outside their reproductive system

It's just. God. I'm sorry I guess I went all over the place in this post but everything is so scary now. Transphobia is on the rise, homophobia, racism, gun violence, they keep finding horrible child labor shit like 15 year olds cleaning slaughterhouses, even in my current blue state, red senators are arguing we should let young teens do construction, they're changing legislation on healthcare, on the internet, on student loans, inflation is HUGE NOW, rent is skyrocketing, homelessness is rising, just

It can be hard to keep your head up you know? I try not to be a doom and gloomer but there's legitimately scary shit happening? Like I didn't even touch on climate change and how all of these issues are going to intersect and snowball until our entire species is fucked. I know what I'm voting in 2024 but, it doesn't make anything less terrifying. If we weren't protected before, if we still really aren't now, can we really trust it to happen in the future?

[pbandjesse]

I wish it felt like winter. Like yeah the last couple winters having broken heat sucked. But our heat is fixed this year and looking at the weather for the next month it's just going to be in the 40s. Sucks. I really thought we would get a big snow storm at least once but I don't think it's going to happen. Makes me very sad.

Today was a little hard. I wanted to be productive and go out and enjoy the weather even if it isn't the winter I wanted. But instead I just felt very bad.

I slept alright last night. It has been easier to fall asleep lately. I woke up and things felt alright. James made me an omelette for breakfast to celebrate Omelette the frog being alive. I got to work on my crochet.

Mr Will came over to replace the back door. This is where I got very upset. And it only go worse over the next hour. He got a different kind of door but it's just. A hollow door?? And it doesn't even fit so he nailed it in and it can't be opened. You know. Our fire escape door. He says it could be opened in an emergency but there's no handle. You would have to take a hammer to the nails. And I literally had to hold back tears. I was like hey I'm not okay with this. It's not safe. I use that outside space. I keep that door open. And he said he's on the look out for a different better door. But like. He should have just left the original one then! This one isn't going to keep the cold out. It's not safe at all!! I couldn't say anything else or I would absolutely have started crying. James sent Tina an email to explain and sent a listing to order a new door. But I just felt super defeated.

And then we couldn't find Sweetp. For almost 15 minutes. I had heard him go in the hall and didn't think anything of it because he follows Will. But we couldn't find him in our apartment. In the hall. In the construction upstairs. I was getting super worried he somehow go outside outside. Or was on the fire escape that was now nailed shut.

But I would find him under the bed in the bedroom in Will's office. Ugh. I did not need the stress. I have Sweetp a bunch of treats but I told him I was upset with him for hiding.

I tried to keep crocheting. I would get to 69 squares done today. I wanted to go out but I was so upset and honestly I felt super tired and bad inside. I wanted to do work. Art. Make my poster and examples for this weekend. But I couldn't do anything. I felt broken inside.

James would go for a bike ride and I would lay in bed to crochet more. But eventually I just laid down and watched videos.

Once James got home and I knew they were safe I would fall asleep. I thought I would sleep for an hour but I woke up at 4 and felt very bad still. At least I wasn't as tired.

I did have a bunch of missed called. I have been getting weird ones a lot lately. Someone must have used my number for something or its just regular we are trying to contact you about your extended warranty/electric bill/medical debt scammy calls you get. Gave me a little fright though and waking up to your heart racing is no good.

I got up when James said they were going to walk to the grocery store. I needed to shake it off and I thought that would be nice.

So we walked over there. And got 50 cent green onions and a $2 candy bar. And came home.

We got back here and James made us green onion pancakes and dumplings. I didn't like the ginger soy sauce but I loved everything else. I appreciated James trying the new things we've added to our menu.

I still felt really uspset and couldn't get myself to do anything. Me and James would just hang out in the couch and read our books and eventually just watched things in our phones. A lazy night.

I took a bath and tried to calm my allergies now. And now we are in bed. I am trying to shake off how bad I feel. But I just hope work tomorrow helps me feel more myself.

I hope you all sleep good tonight. And feel more secure. Be careful out there! Goodnight.

[astharoshebarvon]

To think there are people actually celebrating the death of a boy whose tragic and horrifying end even their fav regretted shows exactly how straight shippers/homophobes minds work, you know they are the ones who despise lucerys/aemond.

Anti Lucerys tag? Ugh, seriously? What did the boy ever do to you except being shipped with Aemond in fandom thus driving straight shippers, homophobes completely mad.

Then they shouldn’t get upset if other side says we look forward to Daemon driving the dark sister through his nephew. That fact will never ever change. I look forward to Caraxes biting grandma Vhagar’s neck. And he is the one who at least gets to the shore with his last breath. Go Caraxes!

You can’t quote your books one second and dismiss the show then quote show and dismiss the book. Pick one.

This weird behaviour isn’t even something new. I’ve seen it enough times that now I just feel kind of tired. It’s just - sometimes it gets too much, the homophobic comments and attitude, people excusing women off their gross actions, not calling bastard women bastard, because gasp, we can’t do that. Not calling women rapists even if the book shows you they were that.

I am sorry Tom Riddle Sr, you have always been a victim and are still reviled by the mad fandom and author. Good of you to run from your rapist and never forgiving her. You deserve to be applauded for being brave.

As someone who likes Ben Barnes and adored his portrayal of Darkling, you could see how manipulative, power hungry he was, he was brilliant!

I can say without hesitation his character deserves to be in purgatory regardless of how good looking he is. Did I like how he controlled the volcra and came out of the fold, yes! Do I look forward to him being defeated? Yes!

It’s hilarious how far straight shippers will go to excuse a character’s horrendous actions. I am sorry if you think how he looked the other way with Genya is not extremely vile of him. What good person doesn’t care if the people they are supposed to care about are hurt like that?

And, no I don’t care if people ship Darkling and Alina or not. I read a few works of it on ao3 and laughed when most were grooming, that creepy parent kink, pseudo parent child relationship. It turned me off the ship completely.

I like Lucerys/Aemond but if you are going to sit there and say that boy deserved to die then I feel sorry for you. Though it doesn’t stop the straight purists from erasing the boy from HIS ship and putting their self insert/ofc and clogging the MM ship tag with their fem luc bull.

Have a bit decency, even his name tag says son. Ugh.

The best part of this whole thing is straight shippers getting upset and saying slash ship will be forgotten once xyz fem characters comes.

Now lets take a look at how true that statement is. It’s not.

Witcher

Geralt/Jaskier- 19k thousand fics and lots of fanart and shippable moments. Top ship on tumblr, pretty sure ship with Yennefer didn’t make it and has 2k fics. But they have sex scenes on the show so, yeah.

Steve/Aunty, I refuse to call her anything else. It’s laughed at by even casual viewers. My friend doesn’t ship Stucky and she was like, why’d he go back to aunt ? What is this?

Stucky and Stony’s popularity shouldn’t even be a surprise.

Mcu is so hell bent on shoving straight steve down people’s throats they have to specify he is not a virgin and had sex with a female in their lame shows. As if it’s a crime if he died virgin or is asexual. God, seriously!

And that show invalidated Bruce’s trauma. We should forget the man put a bullet in his mouth and care about their lame, dumb girlboss show character.

Merlin/Arthur- it’s been almost a decade and they are still loved.

Sirius/Remus- I needn’t elaborate, it’s that loved.

Thorki, it still remains to this day popular ship for both characters.

not loki with mary sue oc was loathed by people who don’t even care about thorki, so, there is that too.

Hannigram! Still beloved by so manys that it’s embarrassing if you try to say but the sex scenes were with females. Please don’t. You have to be deaf, blind and plain stupid if you think they werent a thing.

Anakin and Obi Wan, yup, it exists and is loved, even more after the show came.

I can go on but it would just become embarrassing and pitiable.

My beloved cherik, Erik Lehnsherrr/Charles Xavier. I should just stop.

I am not surprised by this behaviour since the fans of got deluded themselves with thinking jonsa was a thing, and it was somehow better than aunt nephew since they are cousins. Incest is incest, don’t be stupid.

I dislike both, Jon is happier with his wolf, grey ghost than with either women. It’s predominantly het fandom and now they are pissed a MM ship is getting all the love. Isn’t that the crux of the situation? God, don’t take it out on that sweet boy, he doesn’t deserve it.

Then again this callous behaviour shouldn’t be surprising. I remember seeing top tumblr ships post of last year, characters posts and even there the posters were upset that majority of ships were slash. Only twenty percent were straight or something like that, they even went so far as to say this isn’t diversity. Seriously?

My God, please, don’t be so horrid. Don’t get so pressed if people like gay ships.

[beels-burger-babe]

A Pain You'll Soon Regret - Pt. 2

Poly! MC Summary: MC and the demon lords get in a fight resulting in MC leaving. They planned on going to Purgatory Hall until things cool off, but they never quite make it there. Ft. Poly!MC

TW: Heavy Angst, Violence, I don't know what to tag this, but there is a pretty nasty verbal fight, Gore/Injury Vomit Part 1: HERE, Part 3: HERE, Part 4: HERE

Meanwhile at the House of Lamentation

Your leaving hadn't made the situation at the House any better. Asmodeus threw his hands up in the air and glared at the rest. "Great! Just wonderful! Now they've run off. Happy now?" venom filled his words, but he could feel his heart race in fear that he had just lost the one person who loved him for more than his looks. Satan scoffed, though he glanced at the door through the corner of his eyes. "Don't act like you're better than us. I didn't see you standing up for them." Levi growled and went straight to his room as Satan and Asmodeus began to argue. Beel took a step towards to door you had just marched out of and glance between it and his brothers. "Should we go after them? It's dark and they're drunk."

Lucifer lifted his chin as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Why should we? It's like they said, they don't want to depend on us anymore, fine. Let them see for themself how far they get without our protection," with those words, Lucifer turned on his heel and stormed to his office.

Beel sighed and looked at Belphie, "What do you think? We can go get them together?" Belphie stared at the door for a minute, a guilty look in his eyes, before he shook his head. "Give them space, Beel. They're probably heading for Purgatory Hall. Simeon and the others can take care of them for tonight. Right now we all just need to calm down before facing each other again," he patted his twin's shoulder before heading to their room; regret swirling in his stomach as he thought of how he betrayed you once more.

Mammon stood frozen staring at the door like he still hadn't made up his mind on what he wanted to do. His instincts screamed at him to get you back in his arms and keep you there. You were his human, reckless or not, and he had a duty to protect you both as your assigned protector and as your boyfriend. But for some reason, he couldn't seem to move his feet. His mind replayed the discussion in his head over and over again. He had once told MC that if they couldn't be saved by him, to make sure that they died. That he was the only one allowed to protect them. Tonight, as everyone was fighting, MC needed him to protect them, but instead, he pushed them towards the wolves. He let his greed get the best of him. "Fuck," Mammon cursed to himself as he shook himself out of his thoughts. He glanced over to see Beel restraining Satan from pouncing onto a sneering Asmodeus. He sighed and shook his head. They hadn't fought like this in a long time. You had always been there to put them into their place. Now look at them. Mammon groaned and ran a hand over his face. "Will you guys cut it out? MC is gone, okay? Ain't nothin' we can do about it now," to his surprise, his younger brothers actually stopped and seemed to be listening to him. Mammon huffed and began walking towards the stairs. "It's like Belphie said. We ain't in no place to make things better right now. Fightin' like this is what got us in this position, so quit it. Get some sleep. We'll figure it all in the mornin'." Beel, Satan and Asmodeus blinked at their older brother as he disappeared upstairs. Seeing Mammon mature and take control of the situation like that, was strange, but not unfamiliar. Asmodeus massaged his temples with one hand and fixed his hair with the other. "Ugh, all this fighting is going to be horrid for my skin," he glanced at the door one more time with a defeated look before heading towards his room. Satan clenched and unclenched his hands a couple of times, taking a few deep breaths, before silently nodding at Beel and walking away. All alone, Beel stepped towards the door. He opened it and looked out at the dark vast of the Devildom before him. With a heavy, guilty heart, he closed the door and pressed his forehead against it. He used one hand to lock the door for the evening, while the other pulled out his D.D.D. The others didn't want him going after you, but a message couldn't hurt, right? He opened your contact and wrote out his text, "Hey MC. I'm sorry for how things happened tonight. Things got out of hand, and I'm sorry for not doing anything to stop that. I know you and the others are upset right now, but I was hoping that tomorrow, once we're all calm, you could come back home and we could talk about it?" Beel sat by the door for half an hour waiting for a response, but none ever came. He frowned and glanced up at the locked door handle before shaking his head. "Maybe they left it on silent for a bit," he mumbled to himself before picking up his phone once more. "Text me when you get to Purgatory Hall. You don't need to say anything else. I just want to know you're safe." With that, Beel headed towards the gym. He wasn't tired. He wasn't hungry. He just wanted you home, but he couldn't have that. So in the meantime, he'd stay awake until he at least knew you were safe.

Only the morning came and went, and there was no word from you. The brothers were starting to get concerned. No matter what was said last night, they still loved you. You all needed to talk, yes, and things needed to be worked out, but that didn't change how they felt for you. They would never want to see you hurt. Lucifer had reached out to Simeon, while Asmodeus contacted Solomon and Beel texted Luke. Only Beel received a response. "Never contact me again. If you come anywhere near Purgatory Hall, I will not hesitate to smite you in an instant, you foul fiend?" Satan read out loud as he passed the phone back to a very confused and worried Beel. "What in the world did you do to him?" "Nothing. At least, I don't think," he thought about for a second. "I've stolen his baked goods on occasion, but besides complaining about as I did it, he never seemed to hold a grudge." Lucifer frowned deeply. "This is clearly about MC. Luke has taken to them as though they're his older sibling."

Levi scowled and pressed a few buttons on his game. "Sure they aren't dating him too?" he yelped as Asmodeus smacked him on the back of the head. "Stop it," Asmodeus growled. "I know you're the Avatar of Envy, Levi, but MC was open and honest with us. They told us that they loved us all and that they wanted a relationship with all of us. We all listened to what they offered and agreed. You agreed to this!"

Levi huffed and put down his game. "Because it was better than not having them at all!" he sighed and put an arm over his face. "I know that they love me, and them being with a-all of us doesn't change that, but it's so hard sometimes. I-I-I just-" "Want 'em to yourself?" Mammon provided. Levi blushed and nodded in response. Mammon shrugged and sat down beside him. "We all understand that Levi. This is somethin' new for all of us. When I see MC bein' sweet with you guys I get this urge to just rip 'em off ya and hold 'em tight in my arms where ya guys can never touch 'em again," he sighed and put a hand on Levi's shoulder, "but then I see MC smile at me the same way they smile at Beel or you or Lucifer. I know that when I'm holdin' them, they're thinkin' of me and they're there with me because they treasure our time together. It's hard sometimes, and it hurts to admit, but you guys make MC happy, and I can't take that away from them." He nudged his younger brother gently, "Neither can you." Everyone sat quietly as they thought of Mammon's words. "They always bring me snacks after my workouts," Beel said with a small smile. "They always seem to know when I'm hungry and would just whip out snacks out of nowhere." Satan leaned onto his knees from where he sat on his chair. "They ordered me their favourite books from the human world on Akuzon. They wanted to do a trade. I'd read their favourites and they'd read mine. That way we could learn a bit about each other just by reading something that the other loved and would understand one another a little better." Belphie tiredly rubbed his eyes and leaned against Beel. "They wake me up after all class and before any meals," he chuckled softly at the memory. "No matter how much I snarled or insulted them, they'd just put their hands on their hips and patiently wait for me to wake up so that I wouldn't miss any of my classes or any meals."

Asmodeus giggled and smiled brightly. "That alone proves how much of an angel they are. Your demon side really shows when you're woken up." The others laughed as Belphegor stuck his tongue out at Asmo. "They would always give me their opinion on my outfits. I know it seems impossible, but even I get torn between which outfit I should bless the public with sometimes. MC would always be the voice of reason to help me choose," his eyes softened, "Though they always said at the end that the most beautiful thing about me was my heart, something no one could see but radiated from the outside-in." Lucifer sighed, closing his eyes as he put aside his pride, and spoke. "They check on me in the middle of the night. I swear they have an alarm. They'll come into my office to see if I'm still awake. If I am, so long as the work isn't truly urgent, they'll poke my cheek and play with my hair until I give in and go to bed."

Everyone turned to Levi. The otaku's face was bright red as he avoided everyone's gaze. "Your turn, Levi," Mammon ordered. "Come on. I know that MC's super gentle with ya. Ya have to have somethin' to add." Leviathan pouted before mumbling. "They'll hold my hand when we're in crowds and in public because they know how anxious it makes me. If I start to freak out, they'll just gently squeeze my hand and pull me along until they can find a quiet space where I can calm down a bit," he groans and glares at Mammon. "What's your point?"

"His point," Satan began calmly, "is that MC loves us all equally. They take special care to do the little things to ensure that we all know that we are loved by them." Mammon nodded and pointed and Satan. "Exactly!" Lucifer hummed in thought. "Though this doesn't fix the problem of MC having no regard for their own safety." Everyone winced. There was no denying that. You admitted it yourself. You were reckless, and in a place like the Devildom, that kind of behaviour would get you killed one day. What would happen if you weren't with them one day? Just like you currently weren't. Memories of your storm out swirled in all of their heads, and concern pooled heavily in their stomachs. "Has anyone heard from them yet?" Belphie asked, looking uncharacteristically nervous. But then again, he was always protective of you as he never wanted you to get hurt again, especially since he had been responsible for so much of your pain in the past. Beel opened his mouth to respond when Asmodeus's D.D.D. went off. Everyone eagerly stood, as Asmo pulled out the device and answered it without checking. "MC? Are you alright?" "Put it on speaker!" Levi snapped, crowding as close to his brother as he could. Asmodeus nodded and quickly did as told. The voice that answered wasn't you, as they had all hoped, but rather Solomon. "I'm afraid they're not," the brother's felt their blood freeze at Solomon's words, as time seemed to stand still around them. Solomon's voice was cold and stern, showing his obvious anger at the demons. "I apologize for not contacting you all sooner, but I was spending every last second of my time and energy on trying to keep MC from dying of blood loss. That, and Luke is quite determined to keep the lot of you as far from MC as possible. If it was up to him I wouldn't even be calling you all right now. I, however, figured that you should at least be made aware of their condition." None of them heard a thing after the words "dying from blood loss" reached their ears. Lucifer took the D.D.D. from Asmo's shaking hands. "What happened? The last we saw them they-" "Presumably walked away from a fight with all of you and was trying to come to us. Yes. I'm aware. I read Beelzebub's texts on MC's phone," everyone glanced at Beel. His brows narrowed as he kept his eyes fixed on the D.D.D. "To answer your question, MC didn't make it to Purgatory Hall last night. They were jumped by a group of three demons who seemed to think that human would make a delectable midnight snack. What do you think, Beelzebub? Is that true? Is the taste of human flesh, really so delicious? I think I've heard you comment as much once or twice before you all began your relationship," Solomon spat the words accusingly. Fury danced on his tongue as though he was Wrath himself. Beel winced back and put a hand on his stomach as flipped inside of him. Belphie growled at the mention in his defence. "Stop dancing around the subject and get to the point. What happened? Are they okay?" The demons were surprised to hear a snarl come from the other end. "I already told you, they aren't. Luke had opened a window to air out some of the kitchens after he failed a new recipe he was trying out when he heard their screams. By the time we got there one of them had eaten half of their right leg, while was one biting along their shoulder, and the other was trying to choke them to death. Simeon and I were able to get the heathens off of them and incinerated them on the spot, but MC was already unconscious. While we were fighting the demons, Luke was just barely able to cast enough healing spells to stop the bleeding and stabilize them. Simeon and I have been working ever since on using every spell, charm, and potion that we know to keep them alive and somehow attempt to heal their injuries." At the mention of MC's leg have been mostly eaten, Beel turned and threw up on the ground. No one moved to comfort him, as they were too distracted by their own states of shock. "A-Are-" Mammon began to choke out before clearing his throat. "Are they

alive? Please tell me they're alive." The answer hung just out of their grasp. Waving dangerously above them like a deadly knife held up by a string. No matter what the response would be, all the brothers felt as though they may faint. "They're alive. Simeon had to use all his power to bring their blood count levels up to a healthy level, and their shoulder was dislocated, they most likely have a concussion going off of their head injury, not to mention their right leg was unsalvagable and had to be amputated, but yes. They are, at the very least, alive." Mammon joined Beel. Satan stood still, though he had changed into his demon form and the aura of pure wrath filled every cranny of the room. Asmodeus held a hand over his mouth as tears streamed steadily down his face. Leviathan had stumbled away from the group and was in the beginning stages of a panic attack. Belphie stared at the phone with a bewildered expression, his eyes pricked with tears, as though he couldn't believe the words coming from Solomon's mouth.

Lucifer was doing everything he could not to hurl the phone across the room.

Solomon continued. "Luke is currently watching them and making sure that they remain stable, while Simeon and I rest. As such, you will have no luck if you try to see them right now. I'll text you when I wake up and then you can come to see them," with that, Solomon hung up. Anxiety, grief, and remorse clung to each of the brothers like a new skin. Earlier they were arguing that all of them had your love, and because of that, all of them had nearly lost you. ***Duh duh duh!!! Part three to come. Part three will probably be the final part, but I don't know. Haven't quite figured out how this is going to end yet. Though a heads up, a may fill out another request before pt. 3 is up just to give me a break from the heavy angst. Thank you all so much for supporting me! And thank you to @millenniumofpain for the request!***

[luminnara]

The Silent Treatment | Omega!Bakugou x Fem!reader

Request:

 CAN I PLEASE HAVE OMEGA BAKUGOU X READER PLEASE WHERE SHE MAD AT HIM AND IGNORES HIM And he has to get her attention on him his main mission so he like bother her so she doesn’t be angry at him no more

um YES YOU MAY I have a secret massive soft spot in my heart for omega bakugou lol.

My askbox is open! 

Warnings: swearing? Bakugou is a brat, uhhh needy emotions and stuff, not too angsty tho

Word count: 1,210

He deserved this. He really did. And deep down, he knew that. Even Bakugou, who acted high and mighty and angry all the time, could occasionally tell when he was being an asshole deserving of punishment. 

He didn’t like it one bit, though.

“Babe, come on,” he growled one afternoon, facing his girlfriend as she cooked dinner with her back to him. 

She didn’t answer. She didn’t even bother to look at him, and it made his blood boil. 

“Oi!” he snapped, teeth bared in a snarl. “Pay attention to me!”

His alpha continued ignoring him, humming as you stirred the food you were preparing. The scent you were giving off was calm, seemingly unperturbed, whereas Katsuki’s was growing more and more distraught. 

“Baby, please?” he whined. He actually whined. He was stooping so low as to whine and beg for your attention, and yet, you were completely unmoved. 

He tossed his hands up in defeat. If you weren’t even going to see how far he was willing to go for you, then fine. He could find other things to occupy himself with. He didn’t need you, even if you were his alpha, and his girlfriend, and the love of his life, and...ugh, whatever. 

With a huff, he stalked away, going to sulk on the couch. You noticed, of course; no matter how angry you were with Katsuki, you weren’t about to stop keeping an eye on your moody, rowdy omega. You knew he was a handful, and you were all too familiar with the way he liked to throw tantrums whenever you put him in his place. He deserved it, anyways, and he needed to learn that he couldn’t rage and yell at you without consequences. Katsuki might have been an omega, but he snapped and snarled like the toughest, meanest alphas there were, and often, he managed to make you feel like your roles were reversed. 

Dealing with Katsuki wasn’t about being firm, though. You got along with your omega because you were flexible enough to weather his stormy temper, and most of the time, you were gentle and accommodating, giving him the space to rant and roar until he tired himself out and came crawling into bed with you. Sometimes, though, even you got fed up with his nasty words, and unfortunately, this was one of those times.

You knew how much he hated receiving the silent treatment, and while normally you cared about his feelings, tonight, you didn’t. He had been outright mean when he got home from work, and honestly? You were tired of the way he thought he could boss you around. You were the alpha, you were the one who took care of him when he was in heat, you were the leader here. Katsuki needed to cool his jets, and until he apologized for being such a dick to you, you were perfectly content with ignoring him.

“For fuck’s sake,” you heard him grumbling.

 Peering over your shoulder, you saw that he had grabbed a few blankets and begun making himself a tiny nest on the couch, curling up under them. The scent he was giving off was grumpy, but there was nothing in it that rang any real alarm bells in your head. Your inner alpha wanted to comfort him, to croon and purr until he wasn’t upset anymore, but no. He could make as many little nests around the apartment as he wanted and sleep in them on his own. It was pretty cute, you had to admit, but you weren’t swayed. Not yet. He was going to have to do a lot better than just being adorable.

You ate dinner in silence, setting a plate out for him. You considered saying something, but when he fixed you with a hostile, bratty glare, you rolled your eyes. Nope. You were going to hold out for as long as necessary.

What followed was an evening of Katsuki’s whining from his couch nest, the high pitched sounds interrupted with angry growls and huffs. He called your name, he chirped, he trilled, he even tried altering his scent to make you think that he was in mortal peril...and still nothing.

He was going to completely lose his mind.

“So we’re really doing this, huh?” He hissed as you walked past him to get into bed.

When you didn’t answer, he followed at your heels, walking into your shared bedroom with his lips pulled back in a grimace. You were silent, changing out of your day clothes right in front of him without so much as a moment of hesitation.

You were absolutely killing him with this.

When he tried to sidle up to you, his hands brushing over your bare hips, you simply stepped out of his grip to grab your pajamas.

The sound he let out was absolutely pitiful.

“Y/n, come on!” He practically howled.

You pulled a shirt on, walked around him, and climbed into bed.

“This is ridiculous!” He snapped, his temper flaring.

You rolled onto your side, your back facing him.

That was the final nail in the coffin.

He whined again, climbing onto the foot of the bed. He needed attention from you, needed it the way he needed to breathe. Even though it had been less than a day, he was miserable, and the half of him that wasn’t upset by it was angry at the way he was so incredibly distraught over this.

“Please just talk to me,” he crawled over you, laying his chin on your shoulder as he stuck his face right up in yours. “Oi. You can’t keep this up forever. We both know it.”

You kept your eyes closed, determined not to cave.

He nuzzled his face in your neck, trying to get you to scent him and reassure him that you still liked him. “I already said please. What more do you want? This is bullshit.”

Your eyes snapped open and you glared at him. “I want an apology, Katsuki.”

“What?” His head shot up. “For what?”

“For all the mean shit you say to me!” You closed your eyes again, settling in against your pillows. “Until then, I’m not speaking with you.”

He stared down at you. An apology? That’s all he had to give you? He could do that. That was easy, right?

“Y/n...” he said quietly, putting his weight on you. “Alpha...I’m sorry.”

You glanced back at him. Wow. Had it actually worked?

“I’m sorry, alpha, just...please pay attention to me...” he rubbed his head over your scent glands, desperate. “I’ll...be fuckin’ nicer.”

Though he was terrible with his words, you could hear in his voice that was actually trying. It was more than you had expected from him tonight, honestly.

“Oh, Katsuki...” you sighed, turning slightly and slipping an arm around him. “What am I going to do with you?”

At the sound of your voice, his heart soared, and he clung to you. With his face stuffed into the crook of your neck and his arms wrapped around your waist, you finally gave him what he wanted, purring deep in your chest until his scent calmed down into something more like his usual smoky cinnamon.

Yes, Bakugou, was a handful...but at least he was your handful.

[locklyle-for-a-long-while]

Hello Jopper fans. Harken back to Season 3:

I’ve always wondered about the intense feelings Joyce was experiencing that night when Hopper first truly opened up to her, and what happened after he was attacked by the Russian on the motorcycle. You may recall the next morning when he’s naked, he wraps a sheet around his waist and asks “How did I get here?” And her cryptic reply is just “Slowly”.

It always seemed like this night was a turning point for her. She finally stopped running from him, and instead fumbles through attempts to communicate her own love for him from this time onwards. So here’s your deleted scene from one of our favourite moments in season three…

…

There was nothing. No gate. No scientists, no signs that anything nefarious had taken place since that fateful day.

She was immediately filled with relief… and then embarrassment. He had allowed her to drag him out here, back to the power plant on nothing more than a paranoid whim.

“I feel like I’m losing my mind”

He sighed,

“You’re not losing your mind…. Not anymore than I am,” he paced, speaking softer now,

“The other day I almost shot Betsy Payne’s dog— it was coming at me and I swore it was one of those things.”

Her shame lessened a little as she was washed with a feeling of deep gratitude. He always validated her feelings when nobody else would. Sometimes all she needed was someone to tell her she wasn’t crazy.

He went on, “you know I’m keeping an eye on things, right?”

Of course. Always.

“Yeah” she said, too dismissively.

“Because it’s important to me that you feel safe.”

She did know it, deep down, but there was something in the way he said it so firmly like it was the most important thing in the world to him, it struck her.

“—That you and your family feel safe”

She stared at him wide-eyed, seeing him now.

“I want you to feel like this can still be your home”

Ugh. There it is.

She closed her eyes, overwhelmed with a deep sadness.

He knew.

Her dearest closest friend she’d ever had knew she was running away and she hadn’t had the courage to tell him herself.

She’d been working up to it, she’d meant to… even to ask him to move away with her and their kids… but somehow he’d found out already and that’s what would hurt him the most. She knew she’d wounded him deeply with this.

She wanted to tell him this in this moment, to apologize and explain herself, to share how living in constant fear was wearing her down, that it was an impulse decision after one too many nightmares… but it was too much… the guilt made her drop her head and avert her gaze.

God, the intensity and hurt in his eyes…

“What? You didn’t think I’d find out about that?”

“Gary called me, he said he was fixing up your house to put on the market.

Gary. Of course. Fucking Gary. This was all wrong.

He sighed,

“The kids know yet?”

Still speechless, processing her guilt, she shook her head slightly.

He could have stormed off, demanded and explanation, goodness knows she owed him one.

He just sighed as he took a few steps towards her, and slowly sat down on the step next to her, his posture defeated, tired, but mostly sad.

“After Sarah….I had to get away.”

He looked up into her eyes,

Sad, patient.

“I had to get the hell out of that place, you know?. Outrun those …those memories I guess”.

Yes. Of course. Sarah. The loss, inconceivable grief, and after, upsetting his life and moving away, totally alone and broken.

In that moment she knew he understood, of course he did. She wished to God she had opened up to him about this sooner. She’d held back, afraid of hurting him when in reality he was strong enough to be there for her and share in it with her. He’d been here before, lost more, suffered deeply, more than she could even comprehend.

Her admiration for this man beside her made heart swell.

He went on, meeting her gaze and arresting her with the warmth of his eyes, searching for her.

“…But you have something I never had.

“You have people who know what you’ve been though.

People who care about you.

Right here. In Hawkins”

And now, here he was telling her how he felt about her, how deeply he cared for her. With those words, they both knew unequivocally what he was getting at.

She knew it, and like a ton of bricks, in that moment, she knew she felt the same about him.

It had taken his strength in her weakness to make her see what she already knew.

She’d always loved him.

And that love had grown.

Over the years, the more time they spent together the more she was powerfully drawn to him. Whenever they were close, she longed to be closer. To touch him and be immersed in his presence.

She knew she could no longer deny it to herself, but… it was too much to admit it to him.

She just needed a bit more time, time to wrap her head around it better. She’d knew she’d been distancing herself…

The trauma of the last two years was always there to remind her that loving him would make her vulnerable, make her care too deeply, make her scared all the time, make her heart open and entwined with his.

No. Her heart needed walls, not openness.

She can’t — not right now. This is all too heavy.

“You mean, people like Scott Clarke?”

Instantly she regretted the words coming out of her mouth. And it was made even worse when his eyes flashed with confusion and heartbreak.

“It was a joke” she apologized, clarified.

A terrible joke.

He slowly exhaled with relief.

But it still stung.

She smiled sorrowfully at him, and in that moment promised herself that she’d fix this. She’d tell him.

And if the words failed her again, if she couldn’t tell him, she swore she would show him.

She knew without a doubt in her mind that for the rest of her life she would love him with everything she had in her. She was falling hard for this man, and she didn’t want to fight it anymore.

It was a subtle but profound shift. She loved him always, and now she was hopelessly in love with him ….and had been for a long time.

And it scared the shit out of her.

A noise jolted her out of her torrent of emotions.

He jumped up to check it out, ordered her to stay put.

Often she would have protested and stayed close, but a bit of physical space amid this onslaught of emotion was welcome as she watched him stalk away into the dark corridor.

Alone now, her eyes welled, she wiped her unshed tears, and then she heard another crash that shifted into a different emotion she’d grown to know too well:

Panic.

Off she went, compelled and unthinking for her own safety.

“Hopper?!”

No answer.

“Hopper!”

She found him on the ground, lying on his back with his eyes closed.

Unresponsive.

Her heart jumped into her chest.

Please be ok!

Please please please.

Not again, not again.

She checked him over, desperate. No apparent gun shot wounds, no dreaded pool of blood. But the bleeding might be internal.

He made a low noise that was the most beautiful sound, a sign of life.

Then, the sound of an engine.

The rain pouring down.

She was filled with confusion, and then quickly followed by rage.

Who could have done this to him!?

She raced over to catch a glimpse of the vehicle tearing away, trying to focus through the rain and straining to catch a license plate. The motorcycle quickly faded into the distance and she raced back to Hopper, her hands on him immediately.

She urgently needed to get him home. His wounds looked bad even in the low light.

“Hop… you gotta help me get you up.”

No answer.

She wedged herself between the wall and his shoulders, taking his head in her hands, then used leverage to get him to a slumped sitting position.

Panting from the exertion, she paused to catch her breath with her arms wrapped around his torso, hugging him fiercely from behind, his weight on her tiny frame.

She clung to him for that moment, feeling his warmth, tears in her eyes.

“Please Hop..”. She whispered into his neck, the smell of his skin made her want to stay there and breathe in forever.

He moaned, and she awkwardly but gently transferred his weight so he was seated and leaning onto the window wall.

She needed to get the truck as close as possible or she’d never get him out of here.

She grabbed his keys from his pocket and stood up to go.

Paused, not wanting to leave him alone for a second.

She bent down and leaned in close, placing her forehead just above his ear, her hand firmly rubbing his back, hoping he could feel it somehow.

“Hop, hop…. I’m gonna get you out of here, you’re gonna be ok you hear me? You stay with me ok?

I’ve got you,” she said, breathless.

Inhale.

I’m never leaving you.

“I’m not leaving you, Jim…I’m just bringing your truck real close ‘cause you’re heavy as a brick shit house. Ok? I’ll be right back I promise”.

She squeezed her eyes shut, took a slow breath, and tenderly kissed his temple before running out into the rain.

The next hour was spent gently coaxing him to move with her, with Hopper in and out of consciousness.

He even said her name once and it made her heart flutter and brought her to tears again with hope that he could hear her voice, that he was going to be ok.

Long breaks to regain strength and awareness. Long breaks where she could catch her own breath from straining as the support, his real life crutch for his broken body. They would lean on the wall, a counter, the hood of the truck, entwined together desperately or they’d both collapse.

The whole time, her voice, encouraging and pleading.

It seemed to her that her appeals had some effect on him. He understood that she was with him.

He pushed through the pain, and she felt it along with him. He would wince if she moved him the wrong way, she felt horrible.

At last he was inside the truck cab. She ran around to the drivers seat, leaning her head back in the seat for a moment, closed her eyes, feeling her breath hard in her chest….and feeling the loss of his contact acutely.

They were back to being two separate entities and she was bereft of his weight upon her, surrounding her.

It had been absolutely exhausting on her body, but she had a fleeting sense that somehow it had felt right being so close to him for so long.

On the drive back to his cabin, she kept glancing over at him, her free hand on his shoulder, sometimes shaking him gently, then caressing his soaking wet hair, trying to keep him conscious. He probably had a concussion, so she was supposed to keep him from falling into a deep sleep, right?

He was babbling incoherently, sometimes forming half-thoughts. “Joyce… I… I’m….”

“Joyce we gotta….”

She drove right up to the steps of his cabin.

The heavy rain had subsided a bit, but they were both soaked to the bone.

She didn’t think she could carry his weight again, her muscles felt like rubber.

When she opened his door, he tried to emerge but collapsed onto his hands and knees outside the truck, into the mud.

“Come on, Hop!” She pleaded, desperate, drained.

“You’re so close…. I can’t do it, I can’t carry you any further. I can’t, I’m sorry…”

“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry…”

She was crying now, tears and rain mixed. She knelt down next to him in the mud, encircling him with her tired arms, her head against his.

“I’m sorry, Hop, I’m so sorry…”

Muttering this mantra not knowing if any part of him can hear it.

“I’m so sorry for everything,”

“Please please come back to me so I can make it right,”

“Please let me try again”.

“I need you. I need you, Hop. I’ve always needed you.”

“Always.”

Sobbing.

His eyes were still closed, but he took a deeper breath and with a pained sound, he hauled himself up the steps, her arms still around him, moving with him.

Then the couch.

At last.

She gazed down at his form filling up the couch. She longed to lie down with him and close her eyes, just for a bit… to feel his solid warmth against her body again…

Not yet, Joyce.

She grabbed a bed sheet and covered his lower half respectfully so she could get to work removing his soggy clothes. It was a chilly night and he was shivering visibly, despite the warm cabin.

This is not quite how she had pictured undressing him, in her quietest moments late at night— stop it Joyce, focus.

Her hands trembled as she undid his shirt buttons, lingering on his bare damp chest as she took a deep breath. His own breath ragged, but his heart beat steady under her hands. She lowered her head onto her hands and closed her eyes for a blessed moment.

Please be ok.

Please, Hop.

I love you.

His breathing was pained; and she knew she had to get the first round of painkillers into him while she cleaned up his open wounds.

She knew she wouldn’t sleep much tonight, her own wet clothes drying on her as she fretted about, caring for his body the best she could, hoping to heaven she could care for his heart soon too.

Then, it was the morning light pouring through the kitchen window.

He stirred, and she hurried over to him, bending down closer. His eyes met hers, for the first time in far too many hours.

She swallowed down the tears of joy. To look deep into those eyes, to be seen by him again.

“Joyce…”

“Hey….”

.

.

.

[bogsbet]

Case of the mornings

Wukong tried to get out of bed but Macaque stopped him.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

You'd be lucky that the sounds of nature doesn't sound like some sort of smoke detector having a seizure, cause that's what the alarm clock sounds like. Our great sage tried his best to ignore the alarm until finally giving in and use his tail to shut the devil clock up.

Sun Wukong let out a long groan before taking a look at the clock. 6:30 am. 'Why? Why out of all the hours we have, it has to be 6:30 am?!' Wukong thought. Now despite him being a morning person, he hates getting up from a comfy bed, especially if he’s cuddling with his loved one.

Speaking of loved one, he turned to his left to see his beloved shadow monkey, sleeping peacefully. Man, despite having 6 ears, he is a heavy sleeper. Wukong stared at his Macaque for a little, even the sight of him made Wukong blushed. He give Macaque a small kiss on his forehead and before getting up, trying not to wake the sleeping monkey.

Wukong stretches his arms high to the sky, letting out a big yawn. "Time to start the day, otherwise Pigsy would kill me if I don't help him out." He muttered to himself, even the thought of Pigsy yelling at the top of his lungs and throwing utensils made him shudder. But right after he put his two monkey feet on the ground, just a few seconds before he stand up, he felt something fuzzy wrapped around his neck, and before he could think or even question what it was,

he suddenly got yanked back to bed, with the shadow monkey lying on top of the great sage, weighing him down, not letting him get up.

"You really love doing that, huh Mango?" Wukong looked at Macaque with a tired but not amuse look. "Old habits die hard, Peaches" Macaque replied, Wukong swore he saw him smirked. "What are you doing up..?" asked Macaque as he looked at Wukong. "That's my question." replied the Monkey king. "I asked you first.." said the demon, he looked a bit serious too. Wukong let out a small sigh before replying.

"I need to help Pigsy with preparing breakfast.."

"But's it's too early.."

"I know, as much as I don't want to, I have to get up...so..can you kindly get off of me..?"

"No.."

Macaque didn't bother to follow his orders, he just snuggled and cuddled up to him while giving him small kisses on the cheeks and neck.

"Sweet plum, come on..." Wukong couldn't help but blush by his sudden kisses, and as much as he loves them, he doesn't want to lose to them. It's Macaque's way of convincing, and it’s working.

"I need to help Pigsy with our breakfast.."

"Bacon bits can wait.."

"He'll turn my blood into broth if I don't help him out.."

"Well, I always wonder if your blood taste like peaches.."

"You are so gross!" The both of them laughed for a while before Macaque suddenly cuddles Wukong close, his face buried on the monkey king's chest. "Honey plum..?" Wukong looked at him, a bit confused and a little worried, since Macaque often do that when he's upset.

"Sun peach, please....I've waited so many years...just to feel your warmth again...you have no idea how much I missed this..how much I missed you...so please ...don't ruin this for me.." Wukong felt his shirt getting grabbed by the shadow monkey's hands and saw his 6 ears lowered down. Wukong knows how touch-starved Macaque is, especially when he spent centuries alone, craving for someone to hold him and give him warmth

And finally, Wukong let out a sigh of defeat before holding his shadow monkey in his arms, wrapping his tail with his and giving him a small kiss on the head. "Okay, my love...you win, but only for five minutes.."

"Come on, babe...you have to do better than that.." Macaque looked at him with a smirk on his face.

"Alright, how about 10 minutes?" Macaque raises one of his eyebrows at the monkey king.

"..Ugh..Alright, alright...30 minutes, take it or leave it"

"No promises, Peaches" Macaque chuckled before he and Wukong give each other some cuddles and kisses before they go back to sleep peacefully.

They ended up sleeping for two hours and Pigsy scold them for it in front of everyone.

aaaaaaa i did it, i made a fluffy story! i feel like writing a soft and fluffy story since i’m not good with angst and sad stuff

u want a angsty story?

HAH we don’t do that here, have a fluff instead, i also imagine macaque would often wrapped his tail around wukong’s neck and yanked him sometimes, just for fun

i’m actually proud of this one and i hope u guys enjoyed what i wrote, and thanks for taking your time to read this, it really means a lot since i can’t write a good story

anyway thanks for reading and have a good day

[aliasimagines]

Miraculous: Tales of Kick-Ass

requested by a lovely anon 💕

Dave Lizewski x fem!reader (miraculous au)

warnings: cursing.

word count: 1814

a/n: Dave has a kwami!! Cause if we are going with Miraculous au, we are doing it properly.

“I am here again, live ,with New York’s favourite superhero battling against his archnemesis in the background. But do not worry! I just saw Hit Girl arrive at the scene and they seem to have everything under control.” the reporter, Lizzie Blonde, says through the tv in Atomic Comics. You are not sure when all of this has started, when New York turned into a battlefield for superheros and supervillains. New York used to be normal. Alright, scratch that, New York was always one crazy place. 

Not that you mind particularly, you were always a fan of superheroes and comics and to see them, in your city? That was beyond exciting. Not to mention your major crush on kick-Ass.

You took a sip from your milkshake and looked around the comic store. Dave should be here by now. Not that you are surprised he is not here. He is always late nowadays. Marty and Todd fanboyed next to you about hit Girl as you kept looking at your phone and the door, waiting for your best friend to give any sign of him.

In the tv the superhero pair just took out the Motherfucker’s minions.  You sigh a bit worried. What if Dave got in trouble? What if he is in that part of the city where the fight is going on? It’s only a few blocks away and if he got hurt it would explain why he is not responding to your messages..

You hesitantly stood up and walked outside the shop. You heard a loud crash in the distance. You bit your lip, debating whether you should go and look for Dave or not. You heard a loud cheer coming from outside, the heros probably won. Again.

You finally decided to go and look for Dave, so you started speed walking toward the street you saw in the news. Maybe you will not only find Dave but see Kick-Ass too! 

Of course Dave is more important but.. You saw a green figure flash from one of the rooftops. You gasped, Kick-Ass jumped on a building, only a few meters away from you. 

The hero seemed to notice you and waved his hand at you. 

You almost fainted, but went to grab your phone to take a picture of him but by the time you looked up he was long gone. You looked around confused but quickly remembered why you came. You started running again, when from an alleyway someone ran into you.

“AAA”

“AAAA” 

“Oh my god y/n!”

“Dave! What are you doing here?” you grasp your chest, hoping your heart won’t fall out of its place.

“I could ask the same!”

“I was worried about you! So I came looking and..Are you alright?” you carefully touch his cheek where a small cut is, slightly bleeding.  The boy slightly brushes your hand away and tries to hide the light pink flash on his cheek.

“I’m fine, I was on my way to Atomic’s when the fight started and I figured I would be safer here.” he lied effortlessly. You nodded.

“I’m glad you are okay.” you say, before remembering what happened a few seconds ago. “Oh my gosh, Dave! I was walking on the street looking for you and you will never believe what happened! Kick-Ass, The Kick-Ass saw me and waved! Ahh! It was so awesome!”

Dave laughed softly, “I bet it was. Let’s go back to Atomic’s, okay?”

 You guys spend most of your afternoon there, talking about the fight and the superhero duo.

“..so in conclusion, I love Hit Girl and she is so awesome. But Kick-Ass? Gosh, he is so hot!” you gesture with your hands. Dave clears his throat and lifts his drink to his lips. Marty rolls his eyes at you.

“You can’t even see his face!” he throws his hand in the air. Dave and Todd start laughing.

“Hey, man, leave the girl alone.” Dave says, slightly nudging your side. “But really y/n, Kick-Ass could be a nerd like me, for all you know.”

“That would be some Peter Parker shit.” you say grabbing a french fry. “But, I don’t really care for his looks, like.. The idea of him? You know? Like  he is a motherducking hero for Stan Lee's sake!"

" That's kinda.. I don't know. Shallow? Having a crush on someone you don't even know? " Dave says and barely noticeably tucks a small piece of pizza in his pocket. Before you can say anything Todd beats you to it. 

"Well that's rich coming from the guy who was practically drooling over Scarlet Witch in The Ultimates." 

"That's a completely different thing." 

Todd opens his mouth to respond when the harsh sound of the news channel floods the comic shop. You all turn to the tv and see that New York is once again under attack. Dave furrows his eyebrows. 

"Twice?" he asks himself. Before he jumps up from the booth you all are sitting at. 

"I just uhm… I just remembered I have to rush home to help my dad!" 

"Yo dude, what the heck?" yells Todd after your best friend. 

"Sorry, guys I have to run!" and with that Dave is out the door, leaving all his friends including you, confused and kinda upset. He finds the first alleyway and soon his kwami flies out of his pocket. 

"Dave? What's going on? We never have to fight twice a day." the little kwami, Kai says. His name is not actually Kai but as he is a lost kwami he never learned what his name is so Dave was the one to give him the name Kai. 

"I don't know, little dude but we better check it out." 

There wasn't anything big, Chris Damico just couldn't take the fact that he lost again and angrily tried to strike at the innocent citizens of New York in hopes of destroying Kick-Ass too. Instead he ended up getting his.. Well getting his ass kicked. 

Dave didn't change back just yet, instead he jumped from rooftop to rooftop to get home. It got pretty late so it would be stupid to go back to Atomic Comics as you guys probably left. He felt bad for bailing on you again. He hated leaving you. Even if he could play superhero and save people. The look on your face every time he rushed away to a fight? Ugh, he hates it. 

Dave jumps down to an alleyway to transform back when a girl turns into the alley. Wait. It's not just a girl, it's you! 

Dave tries to jump behind trash bags to hide but you already saw him. 

"Kick-Ass?" he hears your voice. He sighs and comes out of his impromptu hiding spot. 

"Haha, guilty as charged."

"Oh my gosh, we met earlier! You waved at me, do you remember? Ah, of course you don't, you meet so many people every day." you would have kept on rambling if it wasn't for Dave. He tried his hardest not to giggle at your fangirling, that he knows oh so well and said. 

" I actually do remember you y/-, random citizen! " 

Fuck! Dave curses himself. He almost said your name! Stupid, stupid, stupid! 

You did seem to hear anything but the fact that your superhero crush remembered you from earlier. You felt your cheeks heating up a bit. 

"You.. You do? Gosh, really? That's so awesome, you are like… ahgh you are so awesome."

"You think so?" Kick-Ass asks, smiling. "Well, you seem like a pretty awesome girl, too. What is a pretty, awesome girl like you doing out this late?" 

Dave feels weird talking to you like this, cause you don't know he is actually your best friend but… Dave also finds that a bit helpful? He could never compliment you as Dave, not like this. He would end up blushing and dying from embarrassment. But Kick-Ass? He is a cool dude, who has no problem flirting with the ladies. 

"Oh, well I was hanging with my friends at Atomic Comics." 

"So you like superheros?" he asks, leaning against a wall in a 'cool way'. 

"Oh, yeah."you nod, gulping."I love them." 

You slowly mingled in conversation. Dave softly flirted with you every once in a while and you always responded with a sweet smile and some nice comeback. Both of you were so in the conversation, you didn't even bother to pay attention to your surroundings. Dave for example, didn't even hear the beeping, the warning that he would transfer back from Kick-Ass to Dave Lizewski. When he realized what was going on it was already too late. His kwami fell tiredly into his hands. 

"Oh shit, oh no, oh shit, shit.. Aah." Dave looked around for help, any help but it was worthless. You already saw him transform. You know. 

Dave slowly, terrified of your reaction, gazed over to you. 

But you just stared at him.

"Look, n/n-"

"This is some Peter Parker shit." you whispered,still starring. But then you snapped out of it. "What the actual fuck, Dave?" 

"I know, I know, I am so sorry y/n! I couldn't tell you and fuck! I am so sorry for flirting with you, it's just I could never have the confidence to do that as Dave and- Ah, I just ruined our friendship and I think I should just leave.." he turned around and tried to walk away but you grabbed his hand and pulled him back. You quickly pressed your lips against his. Dave barely had time to react, he froze. Was this really happening? Is this a dream? 

" You are a real asshole, Dave. "you say after pulling away." You are lucky I love you. "

"You what?" Dave asks with his eyes wide open. "I thought you had a 'major crush' on Kick-Ass." 

"Well, yeah, but I like you better." you say with a small smile. Before Dave can say anything you spot the tired kwami in his hand. "Dave, what the fuck is that?" 

"Oh shit." he pulls out a small snack from his pocket and gives it to Kai who starts munching on it immediately. "He is Kai. He is my kwami, he is basically the source of my powers." 

"Uhm, hi." you wave at the small creature. 

The kwami looks up at you and then at Dave. 

"This is wrooong." 

"Shut up, little dude." he turns to you, scratching his back with his free hand. "So, uhm can I walk you home… as not your best friend?" 

You shake your head with a laugh. 

"I want nothing more." you take his hand and you two walk with huge smiles on both of your faces. 

Maybe this was an accident, but at the end of the day Kick-Ass defeated his enemy, saved New York twice, but it was Dave Lizewski who ended up getting the girl.

Here's how I imagined Kai, his kwami (i am no digital artist, i know it look horrible 😂😂) :

taglist: @sethcohenluvr @your-hispanichufflepuff

[weasleypogues]

fight club (p.h.)

request: hii can i request smth angsty with pope ? maybe it could end well for both the reader and him but overall it’s just filled with angst and slow burn and tension ? ty xx

ofc lovieee!!! loving this pope recognition finally!! :)

this will be a two part becuause this was longer than i expected!!! part 2 here!!!

masterlist.

you literally felt like you could not sit still. anger was pulsating through your veins as you paced back and forth on the porch of the chateau. you also felt the piercing eyes of pope follow you back and forth as you struggled to form a cohesive sentence.

“it’s just- ugh! she can’t get away with this! she thinks because she’s a kook that i’ll be begging for her forigveness and shit like i’m a starving peasant just to save my reputation! i’m a fucking pogue, i don’t have a reputation to uphold!” you spat as your hands clenched together so hard you swear you were going to accidentally draw blood from your palms.

vanessa was a kook that you never had problems with when you were kids because you two had a friendship that was secretive and playful because of opposing groups. it wasn’t until middle school was when she ditched you, similar to kie and sarah’s relationship. thankfully for them, they sorted it out. however, vanessa was bitter and bitchy every chance she could get. 

“yes (y/n)! keep it fiesty! i wanna see you win a good cat fight.” jj egged you on.

“you’re gonna make yourself go crazy if you don’t just sit down.” pope spoke in a sterner tone than you would have expected. but as the rage filled you from vanessa, pope’s tone was not helping. you felt a tinge of hurt in your chest as he expressed his clear stress and annoyance with you. but you weren’t going to let it go that easily; not in this state.

“i’m fine just the way i am, thanks.” you responded just as passive-aggressively as he did. you literally had to restrain yourself from rolling your eyes so you wouldn’t egg this on, because the last thing you needed was for pope of all people to be on your bad side. 

you heard him scoff from behind you and his footsteps faded away. you spun around so quickly, maybe even too quickly to play it cool, to just see a flash of him as he turned the corner. your eyes flashed to john b, kie, and jj who had expressions that were just as shocked as your own.

“what’s his problem?” you asked, expecting an answer real quick before you had to go investigate it yourself. your teeth grinded against each other and you felt your face and ears go hot. 

“he probably just doesn’t think this is worth it (y/n/n).” kiara stated, trying to give him the benefit of the doubt and giving you a look that said don’t let it get to you. kiara shared a quick glance with john b and jj, which definitely did not go unnoticed by you.

“w-what was that? that little look you three shared?” you asked pointing your finger at them interchangeably and confused but angrily eager to find out. you raised your eyebrows, expecting another speedy answer as you finally turned towards jj who held his hands up in defense and bit his tongue. 

“cut pope some slack. you’ve been looking for trouble lately (y/n), it’s been keeping him on edge each time.” john b responded and slapped his hands on this thighs before getting up off the couch. you felt your cheeks get a little hot and your jaw drop slightly.

pope was trying to be protective of you. this was not a secret that you and pope were always flirty with each other but neither of you ever acted on it. both keeping the same sad mindset, if they wanted to, they would. everytime you talked about this with kiara and sarah at a girls’ night, they playfully judged you for thinking like that and tried to encourage you to just go for it. 

you took a deep inhale and relaxed your shoulders and face, feeling the tension ease up on your body. “she’s asking for it...look i don’t want to make pope upset or anything but vanessa can’t keep pulling this shit. she’s asking for her teeth to get knocked in.” you huffed out as you grabbed your backpack and phone to hop on your bike and head home. 

--

your grabbed your phone and backpack as you headed back outside to your bike. you didn’t even bother to text the rest of the group about catching a ride to tonights kegger because you were just a little fired up from earlier. they were your friends and if this were any other case, they would be backing you up. why is this time any different?

you’re recalling yourself getting ready. stud earrings because she can grab hold of hoops. your hair in two braids because there was less surface area for her to snatch onto. sneakers to make a run for it in case shit gets bad. 

what the rest of them don’t understand is that not only was vanessa mean, spoiled, and made your existence on the obx difficult, was that you had a bumpy past with her. more than just losing a friend. she made up a rumor based on fake ideas that she overheard her parents talking about. when she would run into you on the street with her other kook friends at the ripe age of 13, she would be a bystander as they spat insults your way. that always caused a strain in your friendship. 

until one day, she started the picking on first. she judged you on your family’s financial situation and said quote-by-quote “i heard her mom cheats on her dad with all of her little pogue friend’s dads. who knows, they could actually be related and we wouldn’t know. she’s a whore and i’m sure she’ll end up just like her.” tears still brim your eyes at that memory. you wouldn’t dare tell the rest of the pogues, whether it was out of embarassment or fear. it was best for them and their own minds that it was never brought up again. since then, it seems like constant torture from her. 

you pulled up on the beach and hopped off your bike as your tires were definitely not made for the sand. you laid it on a tree and made a b-line to the keg that john b was basically guarding. “thought we’d hear from you.” you heard kiara state as she sat on the sand and glanced up at you, squinting her eyes to keep the remaining sun from basically burning them.

“yeah well, just got a lot on my mind.” you responded. you didn’t want to be so abrupt with them but your blood was basically boiling with the idea of vanessa. john b stared between you and kiara and handed you a full red solo cup which you gladly took, taking a gulp.

“soooo...” jj started, throwing an arm around your shoulder, “cat fight tonight?” you felt a chuckle rise out of you as you playfully rolled your eyes.

“if you’re lucky enough, maybe you’ll get front row.” you joked, sending a smirk jj’s way and taking another gulp. you felt a presence behind you and turned to be faced with pope. his facial expression had clearly changed from what you saw from him last time. he looked almost guilty and concerned rather than aggravated. 

“come to snap at me again?” you said, turning towards the horizon on the water. looking into his eyes right now was difficult. maybe because it was the idea that you knew some part of you wanted to snap at him for him snapping at you earlier but you couldn’t make another enemy. not tonight. 

“about that...can i actually talk to you for a minute?” pope muttered, instincitvely cracking his knuckles, clearly scared to tread on water. you felt your shoulders relax and your facial muscles follow suit. placing your drink and backpack on the ground you followed a few paces behind him, closer to the sand where the tide was rolling in. although he didn’t stop, he wanted this to be a walk and talk situation. 

you strolled beside him, both of your hands slightly brushing against each other every now and then. while neither of you took initiative to grab the others’ hand, neither of you pulled your hands out of that pathway either. that connection and touch felt nice. it was reassuring that his snappiness, along with your own, was out of love and protection of each other. 

“you won’t be happy with what i’m about to say...” pope started, basically holding his breath.

“so why say it, pope? i know it sounds bad to say outloud but, why not just let me fight her? she has made my existence so unbearably difficult on this island and has slandered my name and countless others of those i love too much and for too long. i’m sick of being a pushover and letting her get away with it because of mommy and daddy’s money. im done!” you blurted out, letting more info out than you expected. “why does it bother you so much? if this was topper and john b going at it, or rafe and jj? which keep in mind, both have actually happened, i’m sure you would be more hesitant to stop them.”

your strolling came to a sudden halt as pope took a step directly in front of you, face to face. he looked longingly into your eyes, somewhat darting back and forth between your own eyes to search for an answer to his questions or even an answer to yours. 

“(y/n)! i can’t see you get hurt. i know how badly you want to do this and how much it means to you but in the end, what is it going to get you? an even worse reputation among kooks, bloody nose, and a black eye? is it worth it?” pope rambled drasticaly. 

“it is worth it! and i’m so thankful that you care about me and my well being and everything in between but this is something that i have to do. once and for all. i’m not putting myself and everyone i love through this torture anymore. and if that means beating the shit out of her and getting a bloody lip and battered up on the way, than so be it!” you responded, using your hands quite animatedly throughout the performance. the waves seemed like the loudest thing on earth as you awaited an answer from pope. he looked defeated and anxious, knowing that there was no getting through to you for this. 

“i-” pope started before cutting himself off, looking deafeated yet again. he ran his hands over his face in frustration and as he let his eyes shine over the tips of his fingers, they locked with yours. you felt stuck in place and in a trance for a split second before you felt a pair of hands on your waist and soon enough, you were lip locked with pope. 

instantly you pulled away, your heart feeling full and your legs feeling limp. your hands made their way to his jawline, slightly caressing his cheeks and neck as you pulled him back into the kiss, elongating it. 

he pulled away, shocked yet proud with himself. you could not help the small smile that made it’s way onto your face as your cheeks felt hot immediately. “i can’t believe i’m saying this but...fuck it. beat the shit out of vanessa.” 

the small smile grew as a laugh escaped your lips. you were quick to grab his hand as you both made your way back towards the kegger that was becoming a little more dense as the minutes passed. sarah, kiara, jj, and john b’s eyes were quick to fall on your interlocked hands with pope. both of you kept quiet, playing it nonchalantly. but you couldn’t help but notice pope’s look to john b and jj, all with smirks lined up on their faces.

part two out later!! :) 

[cosmicpines]

code july day 1 - future

au where jeremie's anti-xana program didn't work, taking place half a year after.

“Do’ya think we should start future-proofing our whole situation?” Odd was the first one to speak out loud in at least a half an hour, his voice echoing around the computer lab.

It was late. Not just “it’s a school night, we should turn off the Playstation” late, but “sunrise is in an hour” late. Ulrich, Jeremie, and Aelita were crowded on the couch – a fairly new addition to the lab that William and Odd had dragged over a mile to the factory after finding it on the street, a several-hour long affair that left them both sore for a week – blearily staring at chunky school-loaned laptop screens with piles of overdue library books on the floor in front of them. Odd and William were across the room, hunched over an oversized posterboard, surrounded by an accoutrement of Odd’s art supplies and printed out sheets of paper. What was keeping them up was potentially world-ending, but not in the usual way; instead of an evil AI, it was a history project due at 10 AM.

It wasn’t entirely their fault they didn’t start earlier – saving the world was a full-time job, afterall – but it’s not like they could give an excuse to Mr. Fumet that he would have believed. As the clock ticked over to 4, the prospect of having to pull the trigger on a return trip to finish loomed over them. They had already done it once, blearily uploading PowerPoint slides to the supercomputer to save them, giving Yumi an apologetic phone call in the morning. She was used to the disorienting resets at this point, having done them for half a year after graduating and moving across the country, but they usually texted ahead of time to warn her. She was sympathetic over the phone – she always was – but she was definitely irritated about having to retake an exam. They didn’t want to put her through that again and, besides, they couldn’t exactly keep the poster board from getting erased to time.

“Future-proofing the fact half of us might fail history?” Ulrich grumbled in response from across the room, leaning against the armrest of the couch. His eyes were glazed over in a stupor as he clicked idly around on the screen.

“Ulrich, are you done with your slides yet?” Aelita spat at him, now that the silent spell was broken, “I want to start stitching them together.”

“Uh… no.” Ulrich glanced at her, subtly turning his screen away from her piercing gaze, “Gimme ten more minutes? I’m almost there.”

Aelita clicked her tongue, probably remembering the last promise of the slides “in ten minutes.” She turned to her left and nudged Jeremie, “How about you – oh my god, Jeremie, can you focus?”

“Huh?” He looked up, and guiltly alt-tabbed back to a blank PowerPoint slide. “Sorry, I was just… I had a breakthrough about the bug in the Skid and I was…” He trailed off under her glare, “Sorry.”

Aelita clutched the side of her head, groaning. “Is it too late to go back to living on Lyoko where I don’t have to care about World War I and don’t need sleep?”

“Me too, thanks.” William muttered at Odd’s side, aggressively erasing a sentence on the poster, “Being XANA’s slave was less painful than this.”

He let out a bitter laugh, then raised his head, half smirk fading at the frozen-in-terror looks on his friend’s faces, “Sorry. Too soon?”

Odd, as he so often did, interrupted the awkward silence before people could make it worse, “Future-proofing us, is what I meant. Thanks for asking!” Nobody humored him as the typing across the room started back up and William started writing again, “Look, I’m just saying; we’re not getting any younger.” He brandished a red marker, filling in bubble letters on the top of the poster, “Yumi graduated. We’ve only got a semester left at Kadic –,”

“Could just all repeat a year like I did.” William grimaced. “And might again.”

Ulrich snorted, “Odd and I are probably on track for that.”

“Cheers,” William said, raising his pencil like a glass, without looking up, “Join the failure club.”

“BUT,” Odd interrupted, “Assuming we don’t! Because this presentation is going to be incredible,” That one earned a snort from everyone in the room (which was fair), “We’ll need someone who can do our jobs if we have to leave the good fight. Lyoko Warriors, the Next Generation! Kadic’s Next Top Lyoko Warriors!” He chuckled at himself, standing up, “We should put an ad in the paper: ‘Want a challenging, world-altering job? Come down to the abandoned factory!’” He hummed to himself, tapping his chin, “Our criteria would have to be strict. Can you imagine getting someone like, I dunno, Johnny? So, Johnny. Please, tell me: what’s your greatest fear? Giant crabs, you say? Why yes, that’s both oddly specific and also a dealbreaker. Next!”

Odd looked up, laughing, waiting for his friends to join in – Ulrich telling him he was being dumb, Aelita offering some other students and joking with him about their interviews, William making a snide remark about how he didn’t get an interview, a silent, but appreciative smirk from Jeremie – but got nothing. Jeremie’s head was buried in his laptop, and Aelita was – Aelita was glaring at him?

“What?” He asked her, but she said nothing, just raised an eyebrow in a you know what’s wrong look. Odd clearly didn’t, and turned to Ulrich for a clue, but Ulrich wasn’t giving him anything; he was just back to sulking, staring at his laptop. Odd ran through what he said again in his head, trying to find the offending phrase, when William punched him in the leg. “Hey –,” Odd started, ready to give a snappy retort, before seeing William was urgently tapping at the poster, where he’d just written something. Odd crouched down to read it.

you’re upsetting jeremie.

Odd glanced back at Einstein across the room, whose face was impassive, just typing away. Looking closer, though, he could see Jeremie had all the appearances of someone trying valiantly to pretend they weren’t upset – hunched shoulders, scrunched up face, not a single glance away from the screen. Aelita had stopped glaring to put a hand on Jeremie’s shoulder, but he shrugged it off.

Ugh. Odd sighed, wondering if he would have to apologize for just trying to lighten the mood. How was anything he said upsetting to Jeremie? He reached over for a pencil to respond to William, scribbling down on the poster.

Can’t he take a joke?

idk. Guess he thinks you’re blaming him.

Blaming him?? For what???? bro when did I even say anything like that??

you didn’t. don’t bro me bro. not my fault

Odd underlined his first bro, giving William a smile. William rolled his eyes before rubbing out their conversation with an eraser. Odd turned back to his coloring job and took a breath, surprised to see it come in shaky. It’s not your fault he’s upset, he thought to himself, pulling the cap off his marker. It’s fine. He leaned over to finish his coloring before noticing his hands were shaking. He clenched them, angrily. It wasn’t his fault Jeremie was upset. He was fine. Not his fault if Jeremie wanted to over-react. He’ll get over it and… where were the scissors?

He dug around their supplies for them, then, picking up a pile of pictures of historic figures, streaked from the bad library printer, took a pair of trembling scissors to extracting them. They were nearly done. One more section and they’d be done. One more and they could go to bed and Jeremie would get over whatever he was upset about and it was fine and it would all go away and it was fine it wasn’t his fault and –

“I’m working as hard as I can,” Odd felt a bit in his stomach open up as Jeremie spoke in a quiet, bitter voice. Odd stared pointedly down at the poster, blinking rapidly to try and assuage the pressure building behind his eyes, “I know we screwed up by not finishing before Yumi graduated, okay? I’m just… It’s a lot to figure out and I’m trying?! Is that not enough for – No. No, I know it’s not enough – I know I’m keeping us from having a normal life and it’s my fault William had to repeat a year and… and I –,” Jeremie’s breath caught, and Odd finally dared to turn his eyes to him, seeing his friend aggressively rubbing his eyes under his glasses, “I – I don’t mean to – look! It’s hard, alright?! It’s hard and I – I’m just so tired all the time and I’m sorry that we’re still awake for this too and that I –,” His voice finally broke as he started crying in earnest, his fist coming down on the side of the couch. Odd wanted to turn back to his work and brush it off, but the guilt clenching his stomach wasn’t letting go.

Hesitantly, Aelita put her hand on his shoulder again, “Jeremie…” but he shook it off again, turning away from her. She persisted. “It’s not your fault. We know you’re working –,”

“And it’s not enough! I’ve been working at this for years and I just I can’t come up with anything to defeat XANA –,”

“You had a lot of other things you needed to do first.”

He didn’t mean to, Odd was sure, but Ulrich’s eyes flickered to William for just a moment, and William’s eyes narrowed.

“Oh, are we doing this now?” William grumbled, dropping his pencil. “Jeremie, you’re fine. Look, I’m sorry. Again. You don’t think I don’t regret every moment that I didn’t listen like a fucking idiot –” Jeremie, despite being wracked with tears, winced at the swear, earning a brief hint of a smile from Odd, “ – and got myself captured? Who then was a thorn in your asses for months? No. I get it. You’d probably be rid of XANA already if it wasn’t for me; you’ve made that crystal clear.”

“That’s not what I –,” Aelita glared at him, “You of all people should understand that I would never blame you for being trapped on Lyoko.”

“It’s not you that is. It’s him.” He jerked his thumb at Ulrich, who glared back at him.

“I’m not,” Ulrich muttered, “Cut it out.”

“Oh yeah? What did that look mean then, huh?”

“I didn’t –,”

“You blame me, and we all know it. You’re just butt-hurt over Yumi still, even though you had plenty of chances –,”

“Okay, that’s it.” Ulrich sat up straighter, “Maybe you’re still using Yumi as a scapegoat in all our arguments, but I’m done with that. Maybe I was an ass to you before because of her, but I don’t blame you for XANA, William. I never have. I was over it before you even joined,” He scowled at the ground, Jeremie’s crying filling the brief silence. “It was probably my fault you got captured in the first place. I wasn’t there because I had to talk to my stupid Dad and it was my job to tell Odd and I didn’t make sure – hell, even before that! Who was it that couldn’t protect Aelita back when XANA escaped from the supercomputer in the first place? If she hadn’t been alone, the Scyphozoa wouldn’t have gotten her, and XANA wouldn’t have escaped, and we would have been done.”

“Come on,” Aelita crossed her arms, turning away from Jeremie to the boy on her other side, “You’re being ridiculous. Half of that isn’t your fault.”

Odd wanted to chime in that it was Sam’s fault she didn’t listen to Ulrich, but his voice was still missing in action, his throat tight and unresponsive.

“I should have been able to protect myself,” Aelita continued, “It wasn’t your responsibility –,”

Jeremie laughed suddenly, hurt and bitter, “Protect yourself how? You couldn’t protect yourself because I was dragging my feet on giving you a proper weapon –,”

“We’ve talked about this!” She said, “We agreed it was more worth your time to work on an antivirus!”

“For a virus that didn’t exist! If I had just double checked –,”

“Double checked what? The faulty data you were being fed? There was nothing you could have done! If you want to blame anyone, blame me. Maybe it – maybe helping me made sense at first, when things were able to be stopped at a moment’s notice. But then even when you got me to Earth it wasn’t over, and things got worse, things got more dangerous – when we realized XANA could escape? That we couldn’t just turn it off with a switch? That – that should have been it.” Her voice dropped as she took a shaky breath, “You should have just let me turn the supercomputer off.”

“You were ALWAYS worth the risk, Aelita!” Odd finally snapped, terror shooting through his heart at the broken look on her face, the implications of her words, “You… you matter to us more than anything! Look, I’m sorry for bringing this all up, alright? I thought we could just joke around about running Lyoko Warrior interviews! I didn’t mean to get everyone upset. And speaking of! Jeez! All of you are such downers on yourselves! There’s like, a billion different things that could have happened!” He held out a hand, ticking them off, “Maybe William might not have gotten captured and instead XANA got Yumi or anyone else! Maybe, I dunno, Ulrich saved Aelita temporarily but then XANA tossed him in the digital sea! Maybe Jeremie could have noticed that Aelita didn’t have a virus sooner, and XANA just made a move sooner! Maybe – maybe – maybe if you had just let Kiwi be virtualized normally and not fuse with me he would have been a great Lyoko Warrior and would have bit the Scyphozoa and killed XANA! We don’t know, alright? I’m just trying to say that – ugh, forget it! Sorry! Jeez!”

Odd rubbed at his eyes, surrendering to the frustrated and exhausted stream of tears that leaked out of them. All of them, all of this – he kept trying to play superhero, to pretend that everything was going to be alright like in the movies, but in his heart he had to admit that this was starting to feel futile. Aelita’s virus, XANA’s escape from the supercomputer, William’s capture, Jeremie’s first botched attempt at his anti-XANA program, Franz Hopper’s sacrifice, Yumi’s graduation, their failure to stop space station from falling, Jeremie’s second anti-XANA program getting stolen by the AI, and now the looming threat of their own graduation… he wanted to be joking about needing to interview new Lyoko Warriors, really, but if graduation took them away from the factory… away from each other…

A hand landed on his shoulder, he realized he didn’t need to know who it was to press his own on top of it, to squeeze it and feel loved, as more hands, more friends, found their way to his other shoulder, to his back.

“I’m sorry, Jeremie,” he said, “And everyone else. I didn’t mean to –,”

“Don’t,” came a muttered reply from Jeremie, “We’re all acting tired and stupid. I shouldn’t have yelled. I knew you didn’t mean it.”

Odd let out an exhausted laugh, rubbing his eyes of the last of the tears, looking up and seeing his friends around him, “How late is it?”

“Too late,” Ulrich replied, pulling his phone out of his pocket, “We’ve got… three hours until classes start.”

A collective groan broke the spell over the room. Odd looked under his feet to the almost-finished-poster. Silently, all of them returned to their working positions. Odd kneeled down to finish gluing down the last of the faces to the poster. As the lull of busy work started taking over his mind, William nudged him.

“Sorry, I, uh…” William looked uncharacteristically bewildered, “This must have happened while I was – did you say Kiwi fused with you?”

[theclockworkmonk]

Desire and Will

This is the most popular fic in my "Aang/Katara Missing Moments" series on AO3. This is the first time I'm posting it to tumblr.

Summary: With Aang still having trouble letting loose with his firebending, Zuko asks an alarming question:

"Have you ever kissed a girl?"

Words: 3,944

Read on AO3

FF.net

*******

Katara was awoken by what was, to her, the scariest sound in the world: the sound of Aang in pain.

"OW!" she heard him cry out, and she wrenched her eyelids open and rolled to face where his voice was coming from. There, she saw Aang still laying on the ground where he had been sleeping, rubbing his backside like it had been kicked. Towering over him, fists clenched and face scowling...was Zuko.

A jolt a fear cut through Katara's still half-asleep mind as she reached over for her bending skin and flicked it open with her thumb. She was ready to fight, ready to—

"You're burning daylight!" Zuko barked at Aang, "Get up! Twenty hot squats, now!"

Katara's sleep fog finally cleared and she remembered why Zuko was here in their camp. She remembered their whole reluctant arrangement to have Zuko teach Aang firebending, and the nerve-wracking few days they had disappeared together and apparently danced with dragons.

Katara groggily collapsed back onto her pillow, too tired to even growl at Zuko that the rest of them didn't have to train to defeat his evil dad, thankyouverymuch, so maybe bark his orders more quietly at absurd hours in the morning.

Aang seemed to be feeling the same way, because he just moaned in response. Zuko squatted down next to Aang and pointed out into the canyon that contained the Western Air Temple, where the sky was already turning blood red.

"You see that? That's sunrise, Avatar. That's the sign of a firebender's inner strength coming to life with a new day." He grabbed Aang by the shoulder and started shaking him, "Can you feel it, Aang? Can you feel your inner fire starting to reignite?"

"No," grunted Aang plainly.

Katara was remembering more now, and becoming more annoyed. Right, what had Zuko said to her at the north pole? "You rise with the moon, I rise with the sun?" of course it made perfect sense that on top of being cruel, bloodthirsty monsters, firebenders were also something far worse: morning people. Ugh, did this mean that Aang was also going to be a morning person from now on?

"Well we've got to fix that," said Zuko, and he practically dragged Aang to his feet and started pushing him off towards the courtyard that they used to train, that jutted out from underneath the rock overhang so they were actually in the sun. With their sleeping area quiet again, Katara tried to go back to sleep, but now the knowledge that Aang was off with Zuko, alone, at the other end of the temple was nagging at her brain. It wasn't like she thought Zuko would suddenly attack him or something; she had accepted by now that this wasn't some kind of absurdly elaborate plot against them—mainly because she didn't think Zuko was clever enough to pull off something like that. But still, whenever she thought about Aang with no one around him but Zuko, she found that she...didn't like it.

After a few minutes, she accepted that she wasn't getting any more sleep, so she got herself up and started making her way in the same direction Zuko and Aang had gone. As she was rounding the last corner before the courtyard, she started to hear their voices.

"So if my firebending wakes me up with the sun, and my waterbending keeps me up with the moon, when exactly am I supposed to sleep?"

"You slept for a hundred years, isn't that enough?"

Aang laughed, but Katara recognized it as his uncomfortable laugh. Aang never liked being reminded of all that time he wasn't there for the world, which Zuko would know if he wasn't such a heartless jerk and a terrible teacher. The fact that he barely knew Aang and had no way of knowing what he was uncomfortable with was entirely beside the point.

Katara decided to not announce her presence and instead leaned against one of the stone pillars within the shade of the overhang, while they were out in the increasingly bright morning sun. She was far enough away and in enough shade that they were unlikely to notice her, but if they did happen to look her way then she could plausibly deny she was snooping. She didn't like the idea of leaving Aang alone with Zuko, but she still realized hovering would interfere with them. Aang was always trying to impress her and Zuko was still visibly terrified of her ever since she threatened to kill him the day he joined their team (which she definitely didn't take any pride in).

Aang and Zuko finished their warm-ups and faced a target at the far end of the courtyard, a few wooden logs they had haphazardly nailed together in the vague shape of a human.

"Okay, let's see if that trip to almost get eaten by dragons was worth it," said Zuko, "set your stance..."

Aang positioned himself in a sideways battle stance in opposition to the dummy.

"Now, control your breathing…"

Aang drew in a deep breath and slowly released it.

"Now…STRIKE!"

Aang punched his right first towards the dummy, and a single fireball erupted from his knuckles, traveling about 10 yards to the dummy, briefly engulfing it in flames before dissipating. After the fire and smoke had quickly cleared, Katara saw that the dummy was slightly singed, with a few spots glowing orange for a few seconds before cooling down. Katara could feel the heat of the blast from where she was standing.

Zuko, however, didn't look impressed, "Well that was...certainly better, I guess."

"You guess!?" Aang incredulously asked out loud, and Katara incredulously asked in her head at the same time, "Come on, that was the biggest blast I've ever made!"

"Yeah, and if you were any other novice, we'd call that a really promising start. Heck, you might even be called a prodigy. People would be saying you could become a master in just a few years."

Aang's shoulders slumped in disappointment.

"But we don't have a few years, obviously, so sorry, but we need to find a way to fast-track this."

Aang threw his hands in the air, "Well what more can I possibly do!"

Zuko frowned and rubbed his chin thoughtfully, "Well to be honest, I think you're still being too timid and restrained. You're certainly doing a lot better than before our trip, but I still sense a lot of energy in you that you're not letting out."

Aang looked confused and started to get defensive, "Well of course I'm holding a little back, I'm trying to stay in control! Jong Jong said that firebending requires constant discipline or fire will destroy you. He didn't even let me shoot fire, he had me try to stop a bit of fire from growing, and when I didn't listen to him—" Aang managed to cut off his own rambling and managed to take a deep breath and closed his eyes, "that was when I burned Katara."

Zuko's face cycled through several different expressions as a lot of things suddenly started making sense.

"...Oh," was the only thing he could say.

Aang continued, "I hated that version of myself, even more than when I've gone into the Avatar State. After that, I promised myself I would never firebend at all!"

Katara tried to keep track of all the different emotions she was feeling. She was touched by the fact that Aang cared about her so much that the memory of hurting her still got him to be this upset, annoyed at him for being this worked up over something that happened months ago, she had long since forgiven, and was really not important in the context of their mission, and guilty that her getting hurt and the way she reacted had caused him this much heartache, even while she knew that she hadn't really done anything wrong.

Zuko sighed, raised his hand, and after a few seconds of hesitation, lightly patted Aang's shoulder in the most awkward, panicked "there-there" gesture Katara had ever seen.

"Look Aang," said Zuko, "I can't speak to what this 'Jong Jong' guy taught you. Maybe his way is better, I don't know, but it sounds like it takes a lot longer, and we don't have the luxury of being patient and deliberate about this."

He pulled on Aang's shoulder and turned him around so he would stop looking at his feet in self-pity and look his teacher in the face again, "The people of the world don't need their Avatar to be a wizened sage right now, they need a stick of dynamite."

Zuko took a few steps away and tried his best to pretend to be a wizened sage himself, "I can only teach you how I was taught, and I was taught that even when it's not fuelled by anger and rage, all firebending is still fuelled by strong emotion. When teaching me about the elements, my uncle said—let's see if I can get this right…"

He started rubbing his hand on an invisible large belly, stroking an invisible beard, and speaking in an old man's raspy voice in his best impersonation of his uncle.

"Fire is the element of Power. The people of the Fire Nation have Desire and Will, and the energy and drive to achieve what they want."

Aang chuckled at the impression, his mood clearly improving, while Zuko looked really impressed with himself. Katara wouldn't have been surprised to learn that this was the first time in his life the dour prince had made someone laugh.

"See what I mean? Remember what we learned with the dragons. Fire is Life. And passion for life is what fuels firebending. You need to stop thinking like a monk and use your passion."

Aang didn't look frustrated or dejected anymore, but he did look puzzled.

"Um...okay," Aang said, thoughtfully scratching his head, "How am I supposed to do that?"

Now it was Zuko's turn to get frustrated. He hadn't anticipated one of his jobs as a teacher being having to explain how to feel things to this guy. That was something he was not qualified for.

"I don't know," said Zuko, not hiding the annoyance in his voice, "just think about it. Try to recreate those emotions when you're channeling your energy for your bending, and it might make your firebending more powerful. Hasn't there ever been something you...desired? Coveted, even? Something that you needed to have or to win more than anything?"

Katara almost laughed out loud, boy are you barking up the wrong tree.

Aang spent a few seconds earnestly considering Zuko's question, "I don't think so. My people believed that worldly material possessions were meaningless, and attachment to them was the source of suffering. We didn't really have anything beyond what we needed and a few toys that we shared. I played games with all my friends, but I didn't really care much if I won, I just tried to make sure everybody had fun."

Katara was grinning at what an unbelievable dork the mighty savior of the world was.

Zuko, however, groaned and dragged both hands down his face, "Yeah, of course you did." It seemed to Katara that this was the first time Zuko was having to relate to someone who was actually a good person.

Aang just shrugged at Zuko's exasperation, "Sorry, hotman."

"Stop calling me that!" Zuko thought for several more seconds before his eyes lit up and he snapped his fingers with an idea, but then immediately looked like he regretted having the idea, and started looking deeply uncomfortable.

"Hey...can I ask you a personal question? It's going to sound weird and unrelated, but just trust me, okay?"

Aang raised an eyebrow, "Uh….sure?"

"Have you ever kissed a girl?"

Aang's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates, his face turning bright pink, and Katara's heart seemed to stop in its tracks.

After what seemed like an eternity, Aang finally found his voice again, but all he could manage was a weak, "Uh...what?"

"Just bear with me for a second," pressed Zuko.

"Um," Aang squeaked, "Yes. Yes I have." and his face moved past pink into deep scarlet.

"Okay," breathed Zuko, "Now, I know I'm sounding like a gossiping school girl, but I promise I'm going somewhere with this. Ugh."

He squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose, like this conversation was physically painful. "Tell me about your first kiss," he finished in a too-deep voice, very transparently overcompensating.

Katara was positively screaming inside her own head, No Aang, do not, under ANY circumstances, tell him about your first kiss.

She felt like her heart and stomach had completely removed from her body. She refused to believe that these were the circumstances where The Incident between she and Aang was finally getting verbalized. Aang hadn't even bothered to talk to her about it yet, there was no way he was going to spill it all to Zuko. The fact that the main reason Aang hadn't talked to her about it was the fact that she had been avoiding him non-stop was entirely beside the point.

Katara started running through a hundred scenarios to try to find some way to stop this conversation. Should she rush in and pretend to be sick? Say that they're under attack? Just stay hidden and bloodbend them both unconscious? But before she could decide on one, to her horror, Aang started talking.

"Well," Aang began, his cheeks still red, "it was back at the Southern Air Temple—"

All of Katara's panic seemed to instantly vanish and be replaced with confusion.

Wait, what? Why is he telling him that? Katara thought, We barely knew each other at the Southern Temple….Does he THINK we kissed at the Southern Temple? I guess that would explain a lot. Did he hallucinate or something while in the Avatar State—

"—and she was part of a visiting caravan."

….Oh.

Oh.

"We got along really well while she was there, she was really good at all of my favorite games, and while we were saying goodbye she just kissed me."

OH.

"By the time I realized what was going on, she just giggled and jumped up on her bison."

Katara was simultaneously feeling unbelievable relief that her big secret wasn't being talked about and unbelievable white-hot fury at Aang. She had just spent several weeks believing that her first kiss had also been Aang's, and now she finds out that she's just the latest? Latest of how many? Exactly how friendly had he gotten with those fangirls on Kyoshi Island? She was two years older than him, by all rights she should be on at least equal footing with him in this mess between them, who gave him permission to have more experience with kissing than her? The fact that he had never once told her that he had never kissed a girl before was entirely beside the point.

But Katara cycled through all these thoughts in just a split second before calming herself down and realizing that she had no reason to care about this. What did it matter if Aang had kissed some girl a hundred years ago? It's not like she thought of Aang that way. Aang had clearly just misunderstood her platonic affections. It's not like she had ever seriously thought about kissing him (especially not during some of the more recent times she had kissed him on the cheek). In fact, she doubted that even he had given any serious thought to kissing. He just had a little crush and the intensity of the moment got to his head. So this is fine.

It's fine.

Seriously, it's fine.

It's completely fine. Whatever she was feeling certainly wasn't jeal—

"Wait, she kissed you?" Zuko interrupted Aang's rambling and yanked Katara back to reality, "I asked you if you had ever kissed a girl."

"Well you also asked me to tell you about my first kiss!" Aang yelled with his hands in the air, frustrated again, "Which one is it!" He was clearly angry that in his panic he had revealed an embarrassing story for no reason.

Zuko put his palms up defensively, "Okay, okay, sorry, bad wording on my part. So, to clarify: have you ever kissed someone else? Have you ever been the one to take the initiative?"

Katara's heart started racing again. Why couldn't Zuko get distracted and drop this?

"Um…" Aang's face had been red before, but now all the color seemed to drain from it and he looked like a ghost, "...yes. But I don't think dwelling on that will help fix my problem. In fact, it's kind of a downer, actually."

"Why, was she an airbender too?" Zuko asked. He supposed dwelling on a girl he had feelings for that had been killed a hundred years ago would be counterproductive in fueling Aang's inner fire.

Despite how angry she had gotten at Aang's kissing experience, Katara now found herself hoping this girl was another airbender.

"No," Aang responded, rubbing the back of his neck, "this was after I came out of the ice. Pretty recent, in fact…"

No such luck.

"Okay, so what's the problem?" asked Zuko.

"Well...it didn't exactly work out well for me. She didn't really kiss me back."

Katara scowled, well that's not fair, she thought with more than a little bitterness. It's not like she had a chance to. You're not allowed to act upset if someone doesn't kiss you back when you spring a kiss on them with no warning and then fly away before they even know what's going on. If he hadn't been so dramatic and used his actual words then she would have—

Katara let out a gasp of fear at where her train of thought was leading her. She would have….what, exactly? If she had known the kiss was coming ahead of time, what would she have done? Let him down easy? Told him to focus on the mission? Thrown him into the ocean?...or would she have kissed him back?

No.

Well…

Certainly not.

Maybe?

Perhaps if they tried again wow where did THAT thought come from?

Meanwhile, back in reality, Zuko was waving away Aang's concerns, "That doesn't matter. Don't think about anything that happened afterward. Just bring yourself back to that one moment, where you overcame caution and went after what you wanted. Set your stance."

Aang faced the dummy and resumed his fighting stance.

Katara couldn't help but inch a little closer away from her "hiding" spot. Now that Zuko had stopped pressing Aang for details and was doing his job, she felt like she could observe with a nervous curiosity instead of outright panic.

"Now," instructed Zuko, "take a deep breath, close your eyes, and picture this girl, how she looked in that moment."

Aang's eyes closed and drew in a breath.

Katara swallowed hard. At this moment, there was no more uncertainty about Aang. He was thinking about her, in that way, right now. And that knowledge made her hold her breath and made her face get a little warm.

"Try to remember how you felt immediately beforehand. How she made you feel. Try to recreate how your heartbeat was affected. It's starting to get faster and harder. How your breathing changed—remember, it's your breath that creates energy in the body for firebending. Yours is getting shallower and more intense. Remember how your stomach muscles reacted. They're tensing in anticipation. Now, in your mind's eye, make your move and kiss her, and at the same time….STRIKE!"

Aang punched his right fist towards the dummy, and his hand exploded.

There was no whoosh like with the previous fireball, but a roar as a conical wave of fire erupted from Aang's knuckles, completely enveloping the dummy 10 yards away and continuing onward to blast past the outer railing of the stone courtyard into the vast expanse of the canyon. And to Katara's alarm, it kept going. It wasn't a single blast but a continuous, monstrous stream of fire easily 15 feet wide at its biggest and so hot that Katara had to turn away and shield her eyes.

Several seconds later, the flames finally died down and Aang blinked his eyes open, looking equal parts proud and terrified of himself. The wooden dummy….did not exist anymore. There was no way to tell if Aang had burned it to ashes or simply blasted it backwards into the canyon. The previously white stones that made up the part of the courtyard that had been in front of Aang were now blackened and cracked.

Zuko had reflexively thrown up his arms to shield his face, stumbling backward. He was still sitting on the ground, eyes widened to the size of Appa's, and his mouth hanging open in shock. He sat there for several more silent seconds until Aang gave an awkward cough, then his face split into the biggest grin Katara had ever seen on him and he started cackling with delirious relief and excitement.

"All right!" Zuko exclaimed, jumping to his feet, "Now that's what I'm talking about!" he loudly clapped his hand on Aang's back, who had returned to looking embarrassed.

"No, don't you clam up again," warned Zuko, "hold onto that feeling. Come on, I'll show you how to make a flame whip."

Katara slinked backward away from her pillar and began a very undignified scurry back to their sleeping area. The fire had long since dissipated, but her face still felt hot and flustered, and her stomach felt like it was doing somersaults. Her mind was filled up by the same three words, repeating over and over again:

I did that.

Thinking about her made Aang able to do that. She could no longer simplify things by telling herself that this was just a confusing crush he had let get to his head. For most of the time she had known Aang, the thought that he would have any….desires like that for anyone simply didn't compute for her. He was too selfless, too kind, too pure. He was a monk for crying out loud.

But what she just saw Zuko coax out of her sweet, innocent friend was….not pure. Had he had this inside of him the entire time? And what brought this out of him was thinking about her. Thinking about kissing her. As much as she tried to deny it, when she thought about this power she had over him….she liked it. She was now able to see Aang in a new light, and at least consider the possibility of being more than friends with him.

But she still fought against it, because that realization was absolutely terrifying.

Katara shook her head and splashed some of her bending water on her face. She resolved to keep doing what she had been doing: focusing on their mission. She could sort out all this confusion when the war was over.

Although….

If the goal was to help Aang defeat the Fire Lord and end the war, then naturally they all had an obligation to assist Aang with his bending in any way they could, right? So she supposed it couldn't hurt to give Aang the occasional extra-tight hug now and then. Purely for training purposes, of course.

After all, she thought with a slight smirk as she arrived back at camp, everyone else still sound asleep, what kind of teacher would I be if I didn't give my student the attention he needed?

[crimsonandcloverwrites]

ok bhah ch11 my longest yeah boi ever

i’m literally... so excited I can’t even read it ok ok

oh no not the wedding invitations not this

i swear to god if we have to go through this wedding. knifeemoji

listen I have a fear that we’re gonna get the break up and the car accident same as canon dear god don’t put us through that either

no fears *literally everything that could make bhah more painful* several fears dot meme

god not the jamie invite. she cant even do it. another sign from god you are choosing to ignore

straight to Jamie’s house oh

lmao the red door I just worked out that’s a hill house reference from when I was wondering in like ch3(?) lol the inner workings of my dumbass brain never stop

“can we talk?” it’s happening what is happening

Dani was so tired of lying oh my god

my heart is literally beating so fast

alone in Jamie’s room bro wtf wtf

Jamie is just so soft and understanding always always aaaahhhhh

fuck she just wants out of this wedding so bad but she can’t even tell him

AAAHHH SHE KISSED HER OH MY GOD IT’S HAPPENING

fuck fgkjhdfkjgh this is not good oh no. Dani finally finally fucking doing something for herself and Jamie so aware that this cannot be happening like this right now

and yet both of them just falling into it anyway oh my goddddd

jesus christ jesus christ “Dani had half crawled into Jamie’s lap, kissing her with a fierce and fervent heat” I am on deaths door

god they’ve both wanted this for so so so so long I can’t believeeeeee

(i am so thrilled that y’all just went there right away btw)

“Please, just - I just want to feel how I’m supposed to.” oucchhhh Dani

god her just... knowing. after one kiss w Jamie that she can finally do it and talk to him and end it and it’s so terrifying but goddd yes

“You think I can ever say no to you?” oof

“Ask,” Jamie breathed. “Ask me.” fucking fuck the power of this line oh my god Jamie is so fucking ready to jump of a bridge for her it’s- the dedication the love the longing the everything I am going insane is it too early to start drinking at 1pm

you’re not you can’t NOT THE CANON DINER SCENE

fuck this is like watching a car crash i can’t look away it’s so fucking visceral and nerve-wracking and painful

but god I’m so proud of her for finally saying what she wants

oh thank fuck y’all didn’t take him out with a passing delivery truck

“You must have known. You know me.” oh god this sentiment always kills me

“She couldn’t say it — the words ‘I’m gay’ forever out of reach — so instead she said, “I can’t.”” my whole body is on fire oh my god this is.... too fucking real

jesus christ the near miss w the truck are u trying to kill me (i actually kind of love that Dani will have to deal w her feelings w him face to face instead of having to bury it all in grief like in canon I am so excited to see how y’all handle that)

a fucking HOUR in the car dfkjghdfkjh the torture

oh honey. literally both of them suffering so much ouch

her favourite saucepan pls this is all so awful and sad but that make me laugh so much the poor confused little duck I am glad she has her comforts

god poor Dani

"Is she here to cook something?"  fgkjdhfkgjhfkjgdf

“No. I think you’re brave.” oh

“We’ll figure it out." listen listen I am undoubtedly losing my mind god this is soft

“She had spent so long being asked and not asking. Never asking. She never dared. To ask was to be known, to be made visible, words forging reality as surely as a smith’s hammer. And yet Jamie waited, letting Dani gather the courage herself.

"Can I -?" Dani said, "- stay?"” please fuck I am just so !!!!!!!! about Dani getting to know what she wants and having a fucking voice. just !!!!!!!!

“Jamie inviting her in” fucking just both of them finally getting some of that quiet courage w each other I am yelling so much

“Dani knew that it wasn't just her feeling this, that it had never just been her.” YOU’RE GODDAMN RIGHT BABEY

““But you do?” Dani asked. “Want to?”

Jamie’s answering laugh was brief and incredulous. “You have no idea.”” I AM: HOOTIN. AND: HOLLERIN

“I am here” hello? hello I am not coping I am on another plane of existence. DANI FINALLY FEELING SO PRESENT AND WHOLE IN THIS MOMENT

god they’re just holding each other i’m tearing up. Jamie is her home

Dani finally sleeping through the night ow my fucking heart

Mikey’s so chill about all of this sdkdhfdkj I love him

Jamie going out n buying her favourite jam... god the tenderness. love is stored in the strawberry jam and the hairdryer

hmmmmm her attraction to Jamie is so closely tied to a lot of really hard feelings this is gonna take a bit to work through huh???

aw Jamie going to Carson I am so happy she has her little band of gays to help her rn

I love that she can just kiss her now when she gets the urge like maybe chill out a lil just landing all these surprise kisses but like good for u girl. good for both of u

the warmth of the house hmmmmm I love that she’s found this esp because she is perpetually cold and Jamie is always warm but keeps it like that for the kid (and probably for Dani too) aaahhhh

cgjkdfhkjgh Dani is so thirsty poor Jamie trying to keep them in check. these moments are so fucking loaded holy shit

Dani Jamie and Mikey are the cuuutest lil family aw

god the tentativeness between them trying to figure this all out and the casual intimacy and just. all of it is so much and so beautiful to watch unfold

i love this little bubble inside Jamie’s house and Jamie kind of drawing the curtains around them both physically and metaphorically while she lets Dani figure things out and lets it settle between them

it’s all about the hands

oh my god Hannah instantly asking if she needs a place to stay she really is the best

soft little mornings with her Jamie like... once Dani finally defeats the ball of guilt in her chest there is so much goodness to look forward to and I am v glad she has that right now even as she is still struggling a bit. my girl needs all the sweetness in her life

also the idea of Jamie getting to wake up to sleeping Dani in her bed every morning after a lifetime of trying to repress her feelings... god

heh she’s already figuring out all the ways to push Jamie’s buttons god these two are going to have some fun w each other

this idea of learning the creaking floorboards of a new home is so... warm

Jamie leaving all the curtains drawn for her oh my heart keeping her safe keeping her safe

Nan would be so proud of ms Dani u know it’s true

awww Mikey comin home to keep her company

Mikey Dani time is always so sweet I love them

my god Dani n Jamie are so intense w each other and just so full of fucking desire... when those floodgates finally open will they even survive

oof Dani is dealing with soooo much ugh. Jamie always there with a gentle way to bring her back down to earth tho my hearrrtttt

“You’re allowed to be happy.” she is SHE IS ty Jamie Taylor voice of reason

a pinky promise to deal with everything together awwww

“why are you so good to me” “you know why” oh my goddddddd. that’s so soft that’s so gentle that’s so much love

Dani finding little bits in herself in media god i love this

Dani Mikey hours best hours

god Carson... sweet boy. And Judy sending over a whole bunch of food oof just. these quiet little reminders of their love for her. Dani’s about to go through a whole bunch more emotions huh?

fkjdfkjgfh Mikey going into protector mode when Carson is there pls i love hm

ohmy “our room” aaaaaaahhhhh

god Dani expecting him to be upset with her I am so fucking emotional. I relate far too much to Dani in canon and in this story and it’s just. painful as hell to see someone go through the things you know hurt the most holy shit

please Carson is so sweet and understanding and telling her he’s proud of her is making me cry so much I can barely see

this whole like.. uncomfortable but relief-filled kind of coming out between her and Carson is so so beautifully done I can’t stop fucking crying

“God, you two were agony to watch.”  fglkdfgkjdfhkjgh Carson a voice of the people

“You deserve to be happy.” - Carson and also me and also everyone reading this

god he is so wonderful!!!!!! this reminder that she’s not alone and everything will be ok!!!!!!! Carson I love you so much

the box being described as “the beating heart of their childhood“ god the imagery

Jamie so sweetly making room for her and welcoming her into a home I am emotional again the tears have really been unlocked now I’m gonna be a mess the whole rest of this chapter (i say as if I haven’t been already)

the really sweet way Jamie gets her to open up and trust her with the things that have been on her mind

and Dani doing the same for her god this gentle honest space between them makes my heart feel so full I am just so happy that they’ve got each other

“I want you to stay.” please (also now I’m thinking about AE putting Stay on her Jamie playlist jesus christ I am being tortured)

they get... to wake up.... in bed together. i’m so close to crying again when will this stop

i kind of love there hasn’t really been any like... just no more kissing u know but we still get this insane intimacy between them in a way that’s not them shying away from the way they want each other but so carefuly and sweetly and honestly coming towards each other

awww them always waking up all tangled is so cuuute (also Dani feeling so safe and comfy with her that her subconscious is like lets latch on she is good she is home)

lmao Dani having to mediate between these two dweebs and their playfights is so good

Jamie having her lil family surrounding her aww

(also i just noticed the rating change oh god)

sfkjfhdg Jamie looking at her hips all dark eyes and wanting we’ve all been there girl

“you can look” BOLD DANI MY BELOVED

god these two........ the grabbing her silver chain god @ google how to breathe properly??????

“Then show me.” oh my god

fkgjhdfkj so much electricity they shorted out the power

“this is just as nice” when they’re just hugging please they are so soft

i love that there’s just like... gentle soft banter between them in these quiet moments so much

“Dani, give him more homework.”  ghrfjkhjgkjgh

god the heated cheek kiss

this ‘game of chicken’ god they’re just.... really in it huh this is so fun

hmmm Dani going through the suitcases and sort of being able to bring some of herself/her past into this new place is so nice

heh this lil family and their snowfights are so cute

:( she can’t bring herself to eat Judy’s food

Jamie bringing her flowers oh soft

ugh they’re just so softly melting into being together it’s so sweeeeeeeet

“You’re lovely.” and the way Jamie just sinks into her with Dani’s fingers in her hair pleeease I am dying this is so warm

aaaahhhh they’re dancing soft soft soft

“gray eyes fluttered closed, as though the weight of Dani’s touch was too much to bear” god i am..... aaaahhhh

“a gentle calm settling within her. It had seemed that for all her life she had waited for the quiet of this” y’all this is so beautiful and lovely and wonderful and all the good things

ah that kiss. kinda feels like their first real kiss where they just get to be god I am so happy “a profound sense of finally” oh oh oh that’s such a pretty concept

god I love how much they just want each other that second kiss and them just all over each other is perfect and having to try and reel that in and being able to because they know it’s not going anywhere please it’s so so good

god Dani vs Desert Hearts I love this callback and the entirely different circumstances of her watching it again

dsjfhdkjfh oh no Dani losing her mind at Jamie touching her knee god these two have got the biggest storm coming

dfkdjhkgdjh god them like.... trying to take things slow but still letting things happen while having to be aware of Mikey is so funny but I kinda love it and how indicative it all is of them being so grown up and able to approach their relationship in such a mature way. as much as I wish they’d had their teenage love story I do like that it’s unfolding this way now.

“it struck Dani then that she couldn’t remember ever laughing while doing this.” aww

Mikey’s “oh gross” hahahaha poor kid

god this is so funny

“ferret kid” jamie why are u like this sfkjhdfkjf

oh lordt it seems we have reached the unabashedly horny phase good show ol’ chaps

god they’re still so soft tho this is so fun to read

i looove how flustered they both make each other w just their presence. it’s just so !!!!!!

lmao Dani knowing exactly what to do to drive Jamie insane is fdkgfdkjgh perfect amazing show stopping more neck kisses more teasing more barely restrained desire i love it

“the reckless rush of being in each other’s arms” AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

lmaooooo Mikey Jamie is going to lock you outside if u keep doing this

the fact it can just fade back to comfortable companionship too is like. ugh i love them together

“Yeah. You can touch me whenever you want.” oh jesus

“No more interruptions, no more waiting, no more holding back.” it’s happening god it’s happening everyone stay calm (also the slow build to this point has been so fucking perfect y’all are writerly geniuses)

lmao Dani is like please can we just get naked why do u want to watch a movie I am literally right here

oh she is not waiting anymore THAT’S MY GIRL GO GET EVERYTHING YOU’VE EVER WANTED I LOVE YOU

“What do you want?” god the tension

aaaaahhhhh just. them being so out of their minds with want but still all nervous and wanting to check in but still just. wanting this so much god this is *chef’s kiss*

lmao Dani already having the hair pulling thing figured out is so good. poor Jamie lol is she even going to survive this

god the fact they’re both still fully clothed n still getting this fucked up just making out n grinding on each other I love this for them

mum just came in to tell me dinner is ready I AM ALREADY EATIN GOOD

lmao fuck I am just... so thrilled for Dani finally getting to experience this get ur whole world rocked baby u deserve this

thumb in her mouth i-

“my idiot” pls that’s so soft

“You have me.” i know this is like. horny but it’s also so romantic sfgkjhdfkjg

ayoooo Jamie’s tattoo excuse me while I lose my mind a lil bit

my god Dani is so impatient to get her naked I love her for it so much “I just want to feel you”... ma’am

Jamie being all nervous is so cute aw

god having this lil moment where they just call each other beautiful n get all cute about it while they’re fully naked n grinding on each other.... perfection

god I can’t stop thinking about every other mention of Dani having sex w Eddie and it just being like adequate or like her not letting him touch her and now LOOK AT MY BABY GO SHE’S REALLY HAVIN THE TIME OF HER LIFE LITERALLY BEGGING TO BE TOUCHED LET’S GO LESBIANS LET’S GO

I feel like I’m like cheering Jamie on rn sfjkghdfkj u guys need anything? some snacks? a condom?? ur doing great!!

Dani crying and thanking her like this is an acceptance speech love that for her

Jamie kissing all over her face aww

I can’t believe this whole chapter is them just getting to fall in love for real

“I want to taste you” i am blushing goddamn Jamie get it

oh my god the dream. she’s literally living out her dreams

“that same focused intensity that could make kingdoms fall” I love that Jamie is just as into getting Dani off as Dani is getting off lmao GOOD FOR THEM

Dani: desperately tryin to get Jamie off. Jamie: are u sure u want to tho??? miss ma’am let the girl touch u already she deserves it (but i do love that she’s always just like.... never wanting to make Dani do anything she doesn’t wholeheartedly want to)

“You sitting here on top of me like this is doing more for me than you can imagine.”  iconic jamie moment

Jamie literally just like.... ‘you can do whatever you want to figure this out’ is so sweet I love her capacity for just. giving herself over to Dani in every way (not just the horny ones) to let her forge her own path

“It was easy to understand now, the exhilaration of it, why people went crazy for it.” god I love this for her so much everything just falling into place

they’re so soft n comfy together and it’s all just so right and lovely

i love that once they’ve started they basically can’t stop honestly get it girls u deserve all the orgasms

“When did you know?” “Sixteen years.” oof my heart she’s known the whole time aaahhhh. all these lil memories god it really was all out of love I could cry. and Jamie admitting the scarf/scar thing whew she really carried around that moment on her face for the whole world to see (also lol at Dani being so fixated on it this whole time that’s so perfect)

heh they’re so cute with their lil teasing banter exchange

lol goddamn this so so spicy I am just dfklghfjkdjghkjdf (that is to say well fucking done I can’t even speak rn)

Jamie just being like you could literally just look at me and I am turned on I... love this whole situation for her so much

god they’re really just going all in Dani is getting like the.... lesbian sex speed run amen

oh god not Karen on the phone just hang up Dani do it do it

god she is so evil

omg she told her abt Jamie go off Dani I am v v proud of u right now

and she hung up on her godbless babe i LOVE your audacity

heh Jamie so transfixed by Dani’s lil purple sweater and skirt I love her

Dani u are such a tease sfkgjdfkg good 4 u tbh

awwww she got Dani’s desk for her oh my god that’s so lovely

Dani n Jamie being entirely not subtle over dinner w their lingering glances and Carson just laughing at them fkjghdkfjgh i love it. he’s so happy for them even w his teasing aw

aaahhh i just love Jamie giving her this space and this room in the house and Dani feeling so right in it

oooh an almost “I love you” god they’re just fuckin u-haulin in love perfection huh

and now we’re back to horny hours love this for them. gotta bless that desk somehow huh!?

i love the mentions of all this soft stuff about belonging when they’re about to rail each other it really rounds it out emotionally

“Get on your knees.” OH MY GOD THE JAMIE ON HER KNEES REDEMPTION MOMENT IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING

HELL YEAH IT IS this is truly what we all deserve

oh my god literally ripping her clothes off her fuck i love how desperate they are for each other and just how into this they both are always

dfgkjdfh jesus Dani are u ever going to be able to get work done at this desk again after Jamie does.... all of this to u on it

“Good girl.” the single most powerful sentence in the lesbian language

jesus christ this is still so incredibly steamy sdflkhskhg it never ends. and them like.... experiementing a bit w some different um. approaches? lol good 4 them good 4 them (and us)

my god them instantly getting all soft after about making each other happy please they’re so dang cute

ok love that we are also getting Dani on her knees it’s equality.gif

this little “I like you” “I like you too” confession right now is... so fucking soft and like... after everything they’ve gone through they still have the power to kinda knock each other off their feet w lil things like this huh?? sappy lil shits

oh no Judy I am scared

holy shit Dani “Didn't think you'd love me anymore” owwww my heart

god Judy is such a good mama I love her so much. reassuring her she’s still a part of the family my god I am so emo. she loves her so much

aw I love this lil shared bathroom scene after so many awkward moments w Dani and Eddie in their bathroom and so many mentions of her fogged reflection. things are finally clear and it’s wonderful!!

lol Jamie well if u didn’t want Dani to get all horny u shouldn’t have worn suspenders!!!!! it’s simple math!

god Dani has changed so much this chapter which only takes place over a couple of weeks right?!?!? after so much anxiety and being so unsure of herself this is so fucking beautiful to see

stop the car thing oh my godddd. she doesn’t even care about having her own cause she’s so happy w the person she’s sharing with I’m so overwhelmingly happy

“You’re perfect.” please I will cry this chapter was so perfect (also so are the memes I cackled so much)