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#i cant rest until ive covered every single little part of his life. okay
pinkeoni · 1 year
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More Willel Mirroring: Textual vs. Subtextual Abuse
So not only do Will and El's mirrored storylines reveal ideas about sexuality, but they also present an interesting narrative about the different facets of child abuse.
Also, for this post I think I want to just want to focus on season one. There is absolutely subtext for abuse across the other seasons, but since the first season was written to hold on its own, it does create an interesting self contained story about child abuse.
TW for discussion of child abuse
This time around I am probably going to be focusing on Will more than El, because Will's abuse lies more in subtext whereas El lies more on the surface. And there are layers of metaphor and subtext for both instances, which I touch on in my sexuality longpost, although it is much easier to point to El's story and say "she is being abused." After all, this is what happens in the show as well.
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The age and lived experiences of the characters does impact their perception, however.
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An adult like Benny is able to look at El and understand that she's likely been abused, but young boys like the party who don't know any better think she's crazy. Regardless, it's obvious with El, a little girl with a shaved head who doesn't say much with no sense of privacy that something is wrong with her.
I think that Will and El's storylines are meant to represent invisible versus visible abuse, thus El's abuse is textual while Will's abuse storyline is subtextual. With El, it's hard for her to hide her abuse. As for Will, it's much more concealed. In Jonathan's words—
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"He's good at hiding."
The inclusion of this line is part of what points towards Will's abuse. It postulates a couple of questions— why is Will good at hiding and what was he hiding from? Furthermore, I think this line plays into the idea of Will's abuse being hidden. You can't tell just by looking at him that he's been abused, at least from what we see of him in the show. And when you look at his story from a surface level, you may not catch on to this.
Gleaning subtext from Will's flashbacks
El and Will are the two characters that we get flashbacks for, and for both we see what their differing home lives are like. El is being treated like a weapon in the lab by Papa, and Will shares some wholesome moments with Joyce and Jonathan.
Because Will is not presently on screen for much of season one, so a lot of his characterization has to be delivered through flashbacks. Within these flashbacks, there is a lot that can be gleaned from just below the surface that points toward Will being abused.
Lonnie may not be on screen for any of these flashbacks. But if you look closely, his presence is definitely felt.
Flashback #1) Castle Byers
First off, Castle Byers itself— the fact that it exists, and the fact that it's so far away from the Byers' house.
We aren't given an exact location for Castle Byers, other than it's in the woods behind their house. But it's not in their backyard, that's for sure. We also get a comment about Castle Byers from Jonathan later in the season, stating that it's his hiding spot. Why would Will need a safe space and hiding spot outside of his home?
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Furthermore, Castle Byers is password protected, with a big sign in the front that reads ALL FRIENDS WELCOME in big letters. Is it not hard for one to infer that Castle Byers is meant to keep something out? Something not a friend?
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More from this flashback, we know that Will used to be scared often to the point of having nightmares for a week.
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"Anymore" implying that he did used to get scared in the past tense. Had Will just said "I don't get scared like that." it would have a different meaning. The "anymore" is an important inclusion. Will used to be very scared of something when he was younger, but not anymore.
Flashback #2) Should I Stay or Should I Go
The second flashback mentions Lonnie more explicitly, when we hear Joyce arguing with him over the phone over not showing for visitation. Perhaps the mention of him here is meant to subconsciously tie him to the other flashbacks?
This flashback also provides heavy subtext surrounding Will's sexuality, using this line from Jonathan.
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I think it’s very likely that Lonnie was abusing Will because of his sexuality. We already have confirmation that he was verbally bullying him for it from Joyce.
Flashback #3) Will the Wise
Will the Wise was introduced in the first scene of the show, but this moment shows that Will the Wise is more than just a DnD character to Will. He’s something he goes to in search of comfort.
In this moment where Will is drawing him, we see that Will seems a little somber. Drawing can be fun, but it’s also a tool that Will can use to express his emotions, both good and bad. More specifically, Will the Wise is fighting bad guys.
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Could these bad guys just be referring to Troy and his gang? Or someone else?
The thing about all three of these flashbacks is that they sneakily hide their subtext behind more pertinent pieces of information.
We are introduced to Castle Byers which becomes an important set piece. We are also shown that Will has a safe space outside of his home and used to get nightmares.
We are introduced to Jonathan’s distaste of Lonnie and also given clues about Will’s sexuality.
Will’s drawing becomes a plot point later (used to discern El from Will) but we are also shown that Will’s has a persona which he uses to fight “bad guys.”
The Upside Down as Subtext
Here's the main point I wanna make that took too long to get to, the Upside Down is used to deliver subtext about Will's past abuse.
But isn't Will being actually being tormented by Vecna in the Upside Down? Well I think it's both. Yes Will is literally being hunted by Vecna, and at the same time it's metaphorical for Will's abuse by Lonnie. Some things have a dual-purpose.
We know that the Upside Down is a dark mirror of Hawkins. For most of his time there, at least from what we see, he stays in or around his home.
Will is, quite literally, in danger inside of his own home.
Here.
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R-I-G-H-T H-E-R-E. Right here.
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My most solid piece of evidence that backs this is this moment where Will tells Joyce "Mom, it's coming!" and the following Byers House scene we see is Lonnie pulling up to the house.
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Additionally, we do not see any attempts from Will to contact Joyce while Lonnie is there, along with Lonnie hammering over the hole in the wall and taking down the lights he was using to communicate. Lonnie's presence literally silences him.
Does Joyce know?
Joyce's comments in the sheriff's office suggests that she is aware of Lonnie's homophobic bullying, I think that just like the Upside Down, the extent of Lonnie's abuse is something that she doesn't fully understand. But she does want to.
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Understanding does require communication from Will. And unfortunately for Joyce—
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—he's good at hiding.
Evidence from future seasons does lead me to believe that Will forgot some of these traumatic memories, although if I were looking at season one on it's own, I would say that Will is hiding his past abuse.
If anything, Will was likely hiding this abuse as it was happening.
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littlebitoffanfic · 5 years
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The Bear Or The Deer - part 3
Fandom: Frankenstein Character: Adam/the monster Relationship: Adam/the monster/reader Part One: https://littlebitoffanfic.tumblr.com/post/188773179104/the-bear-or-the-deer
Part Two: https://littlebitoffanfic.tumblr.com/post/188934080699/the-bear-or-the-deer-part-2
 You certainly didn’t expect the knock at your back door tonight, although you had a good idea who it was. For most of the day, it had been snowing heavily, meaning all your live stock were in your barn and you had barricaded yourself in your home, only leaving to feed your animals but your footprints were long gone in the storm. Yes, Adam visited you every night for the last month and a bit, but you had said to him not to come if it was such bad weather. you didn’t want him getting sick or lost. And yet, as you pulled the door open, he stood there with a smile. His shoes and at least a foot of his trousers were wet from walking through the snow and his shoulders and head had snow on them too. “Adam! You must be freezing!” you cried out, grabbing him by the hand and pulling him inside. Once inside, you rubbed the sides of his arms, your brow furrowed in concern, but he just beamed down at you. “on the contrary. These had proved most useful.” He reached up and held the scarf with his mitten-covered hands. You had made them for him and you were yet to see him without them, no matter what the weather was like outside. “Im sure they are but you cant wear gloves when your fingers fall off from frost bite!” You pull him by the elbow over to the living room with the roaring fire. You had brought down your bedding, pillows and ever blanket you owned, placing them all on the floor so you could cuddle up by the fire and read tonight. You felt him dig his heels into the ground when you stepped onto your new bed. “i do not want to wet the furnishings.” He looked down, seeming a little upset. “I do not care.” You simple stated and managed to pull him down with you as you knelt. Adam had to hold his hands out to catch himself as he came tumbling onto your makeshift bed. You giggled and his head snapped to you, but his eyes softened when he saw you weren’t laughing at him in a nasty way. He knew it was different, like he had chuckled when you had rushed to greet him one afternoon while you were in your garden and tripped, stumbling a little. He had found it enduring and chuckled. “Come here.” You patted the stop next to you and close to the fire. He crawled not to the spot you had patted but to the other side, keeping you closer to the fire. He sat with his back against your furniture, which was close enough to lean on and still stay on the bed (it made you feel a little safer). Moving closer to your thighs were touching his, you sat down and gently took both his hands onto your lap. You took of his gloves and felt his freezing fingers. You gently rubbed his hands with your own in an attempt to warm them up. You didn’t want him to get frostbite. “What are you doing?” He asked as moved to his side, keeping his hands on your lap and rubbing them softly. “Warming up your hands. Don’t they hurt?” You ask, looking up at him with concern. “Ive… felt worse before.” He ducks his head, turning away from you a little. your eyes dart to the scars running across his skin. You wondered if they trailed right across his body but you had a strong suspicion that they did. Sometimes he would move in such a way that you were sure would be painful. The way he held himself suggested to you that he wasn’t used to kind works or looks. "Theres some spare clothes upstairs. I’ll bring them down to you.” You smile, giving his hands another reassuring rub before getting up and going to get them. Once you noticed that Adam only seemed to have one set of clothes, you had managed to get him some spares. You had given most to him but said you would keep some in case it suddenly rained or something unexpected happened. Grabbing them from the spare room in your home, you quickly returned to Adam. “Here.” You smiled, placing them on the pillows and leaving the room to allow him to change. You decided the fire needed some more logs so you risked the winter and went outside. The logs were only just down your porch and to the side, not far at all, yet when you went back in, you felt the cold to your very bones. And suddenly adam was there. He looked a lot more… relaxed. He wore a pale brown shirt with the top 3 buttons undone (you suspected he had rushed to you and not fully done them up by accident) and some brown trousers. His feet were bare, showing a single scar running across his right foot. He was normally covered from head to toe, only showing the skin that he must. And yet now, he looked comfortable and at home. “Are you okay?” Adam asked, reaching out and rubbing the sides of your arms just as you had done. But you simply smiled. “What?” “You look nice.” You complimented him and immediately he seemed to freeze. He stared at you, not knowing how to respond to kind words. In truth, they made his heart soar in his chest. “L-let me get these.” He took the logs from your hands and took them to the living room. He leaned over the fire, carefully place the logs on top. He wasn’t unaware of your gaze, but he didn’t seem bothered by it. You leaned against the door frame of your living room, noting how he had hung his clothes over a chair close to the fire to dry. You like it. He made you little house feel like a home. You hadn’t noticed how lonely it could be until he had came into your life. something hit you, a realization you were yet to fully accept. You loved him. Shaking your head, you leaned against the door frame for support. Love? After a month of knowing someone? It seemed impossible, at least for you. And yet, you couldn’t deny how hard your heart hammered in your chest when he was around, or the loneliness you felt whenever you said goodnight to him on the porch. He had visited you every night, and every step your friendship took seemed to mean the world to him. You thought of the smile he had when he watched you do anything. That soft, sweet smile which you adored so much. “[y/n]?” Adam called your name, sounding concerned and snapping you out of your thoughts. He had stepped off the covered and started walking to you. “Hm?” “Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked, his eyes swimming with concern. But simply smiled and nodded. “Of course. im always okay when you’re around.” You giggle, walking up and gently lacing your fingers in his own to guide him back to the covers. “Sit with me?” Adam nodded, following with ease. He sat down with his back pressed against some of the comfy seats in your living room. You sat next to him and did something he obviously hadn’t expected. After pulling the covers to lie over you both, you took his arm and lifted it so you could cuddle into him, draping his arm around you. Adam took a small gasp of air at the contact and you almost doubted your choice, until he pulled you a little bit closer. You rested your head on his chest, reach out and taking his other hand in your own hands. His finger began to move around your own, as if playing with them, before taking your right hand in a soft hold. You let out a soft sigh, partly of contentless and partly from relief as you felt him lean his chin on the top of your head. For a good hour or so, you and Adam just sat there, talking. Adam asked you about your day, how you were finding your book, how you were feeling and how you animals were. You answered his questions, telling him about how you had been concern for him. “For me?” “Yes, in this weather. I didn’t know if you were safe or not.” You tell him, unable to see the smile on his face or the swell in his chest. “You do not have to worry about me.” He raises his hand that was around your shoulder to gently pat your head in a soothing motion. “well, I do. I worry that youre alone. I worry that you don’t eat correctly, or keep yourself warm.” You look up at him, and he can see the fear in your eyes. “Those will never affect you. Why worry?” He askes, perplexed as his hand stops petting your hair and falls back to you shoulder. “Because I care about you.” You let go of his hand to reach up and cup his cheek. “I don’t want to lose you.” his eyes flutter close and he melts into your touch with a soft gasp of air. His reaction to your touch had never changed, as if every time your skin touches his, it sent fire through his veins. a soft chuckle leaves his lips as the hand you had been holding reaches up and cover yours on his cheek. “Whats funny?” You ask, confused. “Many have ran from me, desperate to lose me.” Adam opens his eyes, staring into nothing as his brow furrows in deep thought. Then a something washed over his face as his eyes dart to you. “You.. care about me?” “Yes, a lot.” You smile, feeling the swell of your chest at the smile he returns. His hand leaves your own to gently bush some hair from your face that had fallen from his patting your hair before. “I care for you. More deeply than I had cared to admit to you.” He whispers, as if scared of your reaction but unable to stop the words from tumbling from his lips. You couldn’t stop yourself from leaning up. The moment felt right and good god you wanted to kiss him. You had dreamed about it for a month, waking with gasps as you felt empty to see you were alone again. his lips were soft, if a little chapped from the cold. They weren’t as warm as you had expected but, again, you assumed his was the cold. However, the feeling of him kissing you back was one you had never expected. He kissed you shyly and his whole body felt like it was shaking slightly. You slipped your hand onto the back of his neck, playing with the baby hairs there. You turned slightly, and the arm that had been around your shoulder dropped, instead wrapping around your waist and pulling you closer in a more intimate way. You kissed him slowly to make sure he was okay with it but you couldn’t hide your passion in the kiss. a low groan escaped his chest and you felt yourself melt, echoing with your own moan against his lips which sent a shiver down his spin. Your other hand slides to his chest as you turned to try face him some more, eventually throwing caution to the wind and straddling his leg. He sat bolt upright, both his hands now locked around your waist and yours around his neck as you kissed him. You opened your eyes when you pulled back an inch to gasp for air but it would seem he wasn’t wanting to end things quite so soon and closed the gap, kissing you again. You stayed like this for a while, simply kissing each other. Your hands ran from his neck to his shoulders to his cheeks to softly stroke them then back around freely while he revelled in the touch. the only thing that pulled you away was when there was a loud slam from outside, making you jump back and turn in fear to the window. Adam was apparently better with dealing with a ‘threat’ as he carefully moves you off his lap and carefully moves to the window, keeping low. He looked outside, keeping as still as a tree in a harsh wind as his gaze travelled over your land. Then a soft chuckle fell from his lips. “What?” you got to your feet and ran to the window, standing beside him as you looked out, trying to see what had made him chuck. Then you saw your fence had given up its fight against the wind and collapsed, the end hitting off the side of your house. You let out a sign of relief as you stepped closer to Adam and cuddled into his chest. He seemed hesitate at first, but then you feel him press his hand on your back, softly rubbing it to sooth you. you let out a small hum, closing your eyes as you enjoy the moment. Another gust of wind drew your eyes back open to look outside, but then you saw your reflection faintly in the glass. He was smiling down at you, that same smile that made your heart hammer. Even when you weren’t looking at him, he still smiled at you. Biting your lip, you tried to stop the grin that spread across you face at the way he looked at you. “You cant go back out in this weather, Adam.” You looked up, an idea popping to your head. The smile dropped as he shrunk into himself a little, his hand hesitating on your back. “I do not wish to intrude on you. I’ll be fine.” He ducks his head, unable to look you in the eye but you saw a sadness behind them as he declined your silent invitation. “You wouldn’t be intruding at all. I enjoy it when you’re here.” You saw his eyes blink a little as he timidly glanced at you. but you didn’t want him to feel pressured to stay with you, or if he needed to go back to where he came from. “If you need to leave, I understand. But I’d like it if you could stay. Plus, you do well at responding to situations I would be frightened of.” You laugh, trying to lighten the situation. he chuckled, glancing out the window before falling into thought. For a minute, you allowed him to think, weighing whatever he had in his mind before calling out to him. “Adam?” You ask gently, placing your hand on his chest, directly over his heart. “I would like to stay with you, as long as you wish me here.” He looks back to you, and you were taken aback by his eyes. They were no longer filled with a joy or excitement or even hope. They looked a little darker, and almost begging you for something. “If you want me to leave you, I will. I am yours to command as you wish.” Adam bows his head to you, as if you were royalty. But his words worried you a little. Placing your hand on his cheek, you raise his gaze to you. “I don’t know what horrors you’ve faced in your life, and I do not expect to ever understand. But Adam, I do not wish to command or control you. you’re a living, breathing person. I want you to be happy.” You smile a little at the end, rubbing your thumb on his cheek as you spoke. Adam closed his eyes, melting into your touch so much that he even shrunk down a little as he cupped your hand. You quickly realised that touching each others cheek in this sort of way must mean a great deal to him now. “I am happy with you. I am happy when you want me.” He breathes, opening his eyes which were filled with joy. You smiled at him, leaning up and kissing him again. This kiss was more tamed, and you pulled back after a few seconds as if it was used to seal a promise. Taking his hand, you guided him back to the bed on the floor. This time, he lay down adjacent to the fire and you took your place at his side, about to pull the covers over you both when he picked you as if you weighed nothing. He then placed you at the other side, closer to the roaring fire. You knew better than to argue with him, instead smiling gratefully before covering you both. He instinctively wrap his arm around you as you cuddled into his side once again, not using a pillow as you lay your head on him, pressing a kiss to his neck as you did so. You fell asleep about an hour later after you told him some stories from your childhood. But Adam stayed a wake for a good while longer, well into the night. He pushed your hair away from your face as you slept. He had never dreamed he could be this comfy. He didn’t tell you he was used to sleeping on hard floors, but this must be what a bed felt like. The feeling of a pillow under his head or a warm cover over his was foreign but welcomed immensely. But what he was most grateful for was you. the warmth from your body, the soft snore you let out every now and again or how you seemed to cuddle into him complexly when asleep made his heart sing. You made him feel alive, after all this time. He felt what he had always desired and more, wanting nothing more than to freeze this moment in time. If his heart stopped tonight, he would be happy. And yet, he felt like it had many times. When he had first seen you that night, when you had sat so close to him and wrap his arm around you, when you had kissed him and when you had pulled him towards the bed. he would cherish everything in the hopes it would never change. He never wanted the way you looked at him to change. He considered staying up the entire night to see you wake in the morning, but he decided against the idea, simply because he knew you would freight if he didn’t sleep. Reluctantly, he closed his eyes, unable to see how any dream could out do this moment.
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botanyshitposts · 7 years
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Please tell us more stories about the corn!!
brief preface: i live in iowa, one of the united states’ largest producers of corn (as in maize for those overseas), and worked at a corn breeding research facility. these guys are in charge of creating new lines of seed for farmers to grow; i took the job because it was the only plant science-related job i could, and it sucked but it wasn’t the worst job ive ever had and i made bank because it sucked and no one wanted to do it. there were two parts to this job: data collection and pollination. i wrote out a huge thing on the details of these and then decided it was too long and rambly so imma just gonna skip that stuff and get to the Weird Liminal Space Corn Stories:
-for data collection, our job was to take plant an ear hights in fields all around iowa, meaning that we would get to work in the morning and they would load us up into transit vans and drive us out to a random small town with a test field for testing. once we got there, we had 16-foot-tall wooden measuring sticks we would unfold and bring into the field with us, and the instructions from there were simple: 2 people on each side of the breeder. you measure the line of corn behind you by sticking ur stick next to an average looking plant and reading off first how far up on the plant the first ear of corn was, then reading off how far the base of the flag leaf was. then, you turn around to face the line of corn behind you, and while youre turning around and sticking your measuring stick into the ground on that side your partner reads there numbers, you read your second line of numbers, your partner reads their second line, and then you walk into the nearest alley and march up two lines of corn while the people on the other side of the breeder go. you read the two data points on one side. your partner reads and u turn around. you read the data points behind you. your partner does. while you are going, your breeder is walking up the field typing in the numbers on a data logger and the other team is walking up two rows. once you reach the end of the field, your breeder stops you, you walk two plots down and turn the other direction. you read off your data points, ect, you do that all the way down the field. you do this for hours until your set is done. all told, once your team of 5 people gets oriented and going, it should sound like this to you:
stick. 65, 102. turn. stick. 68, 104. pick up stick. walk down two rows. stick. 85, 102. turn. stick. 84, 103. pick up stick. walk down two rows. ect. you have to annunciate yourself and not talk to your teamates so the breeder can hear you through the corn. on windy days, you have to shout. you dont have time to stop and talk; you actually barely have time to do anything but focus on the manual task of number, turn, number, walk, number, turn, number, walk. when we were done, we would come out covered in sweat and dirt with our sticks, pile in the transit van, and drive like, the 2-3 hours back. work days were about 9 hours with 5 in the field, meaning that you worked 40 hours a week and could do overtime on weekends doing pollination (which was actually really fun). 
-no headphones. at first i thought that rule was stupid, but like, once you enter a cornfield you realize that this is because 1. if someone is screaming your name you need to be able to hear and 2. corn touches everything; when you’re in the corn, there is always something touching you. we wore special hats with veils, long pants, long shirts, eye protection, and closed toed shoes because the corn leaves are sharp and will cut you up; i have scars from this. your headphones would get ripped out within like, .3 seconds, because like corn just snags and slices up everything. 
-one time, on the hottest day of the summer, we were doing the number-turn-number-walk routine and heard someone yelling for our breeder guy. he stopped us short and called back, and like, this is the scary part about cornfields: like i said in the tags of that one post, corn swallows up sound more than anything. it’s impossible to tell where you are and impossible to hear anything, even if you scream, so its best to stay close to your team unless your doing solo work, and if you’re doing solo work like, for the love of god, keep walking in the direction youre supposed to be walking until you’re finished. trust that theres something on the other side, even if you cant see it. but anyway; hes yelling, and shes yelling, and suddenly she bursts through the corn after searching for us and says that this one kid is having a seizure. queue both of them running out of the corn and we’re just standing there. eventually we hear one of the other breeders yelling “___’s group, where are you?!” and we’re like “over here! we’re over here!” and put our sticks up, and the other breeder comes into the alley and we keep doing data points. we had like, 6 kids go home that day because of how hot it was (over 100 degrees) and we ended up not finishing the field because they decided it wasnt safe for us to work anymore. (also, kid was predisposed to seizures and they took him home, he was fine and came back to work a couple days later)
-i kind of talked about this in the tags of that other post, but i think the scariest day was the day we were in a test field a little ways away from the research center. it was kind of stormy but we were like ok whatever, we’ve gotten rained on before with no problem, queue us starting the data collection for the day. its…..really windy. like. i wish i could recreate that feel in art or something or even film it someday, because 1. when the wind blew, the whole field-which, remember, this is our whole world when we’re in there because you can’t see anything but corn in every direction- moved. like, bended, which is typical of corn because like yeah duh it does that, but its like if you were standing in a hallway and suddenly all the walls bent with the wind and so did the cieling. it was that disorienting; i actually stumbled a few times because the only steady thing was the ground and 2. it was loud, like a weird roar in the background. everything is rustling all around you at once. we had to scream our numbers for the breeder to hear us, and when i moved my measuring stick would catch the wind and drag me back a little. then, we heard thunder in the distance. our breeder was like “okay guys we’re gonna finish this field because we’re only like 4 ranges away from the road” and we’re like ok yeah, 40 plots, we can do this. the wind picked up, we kept moving at like twice the pace to get out of there, and when we reached the end it was really close and our breeder was like “come on we have to go now” and we like, picked up our sticks and ran through the corn bending around us with the thunder and everything, can i say midwestern gothic because ive never experienced midwestern gothic more than 4 teenagers with corn sticks and a dude with a data logger running through a discombobulating corn haze at 11am with thunder rolling in. we get to the edge of the field, scramble over the barbed wire fence because we are not running through the rest of the field. in a hot second more teams emerge from the field at various speeds just as it starts storming. we pack up our sticks. our team of four gets in our breeder’s pickup truck and we drive back in the rain. it was a look guys ngl
-throwback to when i just finished doing solo tagging of the ranges in the corn in a field three hours away from the research center. our breeder said to meet him back at the truck when we were done, so when i reach the end of the field having stapled on tags for around 100 ranges (about ten minutes of walking and stapling alone in a single line; these tags will help orient harvesting in the fall), i turn around and start heading straight back, because like again, when you’re in the corn alone its best to know exactly where you are and the way out is always a straight line. i start following my tagging trail back. about five minutes into walking i hear rustling near me. y’all, i was not ready, started jogging and checking behind me and after a little bit i slow down because i feel like i lost whatever it was. rustling continues like its following me. hellno.jpg, not today, i run out of the corn into the alley on the other side, decide i must have imagined it, and start walking towards the truck. as it turns out it was another one of the guys who didn’t know where to go, saw me from his row, and was following me to find his way out of the corn. almost died that day y’all
-occasionally we would visit fields to do brittle snap count, which is lining up, walking a plot, stopping, and yelling out how many broken stalks of corn we counted in the plot we just walked through, then continuing. the whole thing is that farmers understandably hate it when all their corn breaks and dies. we went to this one field that had been hit by a wind storm; it was a really hot day and we were all like dying. this is where my aforementioned scarring comes in. in cornfields, there exists a thingy called corn rash. this is where the corn hits your skin so much that it makes tiny cuts all over you, and then pollen from said corn gets in the cuts along with sweat. it is the worst time i have ever experienced in my life like literally nope would not recommend. eventually we realized that half this field of test crop was broken. like, we stopped counting the amount of plants with broken stems and instead started counting the amount of plants still standing. i was wearing all the protection i needed/that was required (so was everyone else), but it was so hot that literally all of us had corn rash and i was bleeding, big yikes. eventually our super nice breeder for the day realized that we were Struggling™ and was like ok listen we’re going back this isn’t worth it and all the corn is literally dead inexplicably anyway and then took us to get gas station ice cream after bc she felt bad for us lmao, a blessing
-talked to the breeders a lot and asked a ton of questions. learned that sunflower breeding is a thing that happens and that they’re bred to be larger to bear more seed for like, those bags of sunflower seeds you see at gas stations. the more u know
-zoo corn
-the corn in the pollination fields (the corn being bred into pure, genetically identical lines for testing….*insert Corn Discourse Concerning Loss Of Genetic Diversity Here But Not Gonna Talk About It In This Post Bc Its Already Super Long*) gets really weird mutations that i’ve talked about before
-this post got so long im sorry
tl;dr: corn is a terrifying liminal space
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haeroniel-doliet · 6 years
Text
i need more money to buy little art
honestly tho feeling like for that ideal goal existence i’ll try get to someday, i’ll needa be making proper money comfortable and good so i can spend all i like on society 6 and other to buy shirts and bags and just everything to a house all in different art prints (mostly florals) bc just those pictures are  like everything i want but just so expensive. i’m trying to sum down like 10 to stickers, bc i wanna do up my laptop, but dedicating to a single decal (thats like 25 ON SALE) is too much esp since i love so much. so ive kinda decided to get a hard cover for the laptop just in case i break it, and just in case i do break my laptop that i can keep the stickers on the hard case and dont lose them to replaced parts. idk seems smart. ill probs buy a kinda shady cover off of ebay for 5 or 6 pound and then spend 20 on stickers for it :] since theyre on sale till 8 am today and its 3 am im probs just gonna settle and order them. might order cover tomorrow w my dad bc i need trust assurance. hes not all on board on the stickers so im just gonna go for it. theyre gonna be like my post cards. i buy so many every place. and no. not trashy postcards. i want art. i have so many postcards of paintings in galleries and so many from comic con art valleys (guess who wants to get so much more and 100% will) i love original art the most when its pretty to me and like everyone who sees it. simples okay but i prefer soft and detailed. excited now i can go to con and also be looking for stickers bc maybe ill get a few cool ones that wont cost me as much as the society 6 ones do. and then my laptop can replicate my walls, displaying all the art ive loved that ive been able to take with me (bc theres so much i obviously dont have on my walls) anyway im looking at these and making some small bc i suddenly realise this laptops got realestate. and the saddest thing w stickers (literally why i had one of those waxy paged sticker books as a child) is that i cant dedicate stickers to a single spot. its so much dedication. what if i buy a bigger sticker and it wont fit? what if i get the perfect sticker for that spot and it wont fit? (over lap i guess) how can i be sure i put them in the right spots to start with? augh i dont really wanna cover just half of it and obviously leave space bc that puts pressure on finding stickers and i might get ones i dont love. i cant get sick of any one bc itll be there  (joy of having multiple mean theres less getting sick of anything). anyway i think im happy w the sizes of these 10 stickers and can work w them (also for now i think im just gonna be going around the edges and leaving the apple logo as it is, esp bc it glows and theres already this shitty old smiley face sticker from my old psych teacher and i kinda dont wanna get rid of it, i just wanna add things around it so it doesnt look so: clean (actually dirty) laptop that a child marked as their own) 
anyway society 6 has random discounts all the time which is p rad and maybe the day im ready to invest in my own living space and dont feel obliged to check w my parents about just about any purchase, i’ll then subscribe to something thatll tell me what discount is on. that in mind, i think i’ll only get the 9 now, that hopefully wont cost too much, and leave a bunch in my wishlist, bc there’ll be another discount (this is 20% off everything)  and maybe that’ll be like 50% off stickers and boy then when my collection is underway you bet ill go for it. and like maxx sticks on their sketch book, if i dedicate to a new book maybe ill get more for that and have a pretty thing to keep and reminisce over (tho knowing me, ill not use it much bc i have a need for pretty things to stay perfect and presentable, and i have a need for everything that i might show to others to be like near perfect otherwise its sucks and ill feel bad bc i dont wanna show it off to people. like my art book, sure i couldve made it all experimental and crap and then edited the real pages together on the computer. but no. i needed everypage to be presentable and pretty and handwritten and creative. and they must go page after page, its so awkward showing someone something and then going “oh wait now these few are empty sorry yeah heres the next page” so i baasically have  a book with mhmmm 20-26 pages of beautiful spreads that im quite proud of inside beautiful covers ( i knew id want to be presenting it for years to come) and the back pages are just...empty. and theyll probably stay that way bc i no longer have projects to be doing to fill them with. maybe one day ill grow into myself and grow out the fear of ruining what ive achieved and fill some with new projects to please myself and be an indepenednt artist not just a teacher pleaser. you know its like that with my work too, like it has to have a direction and a plan that will be achieved, and its terribly frustrating when that vision doesnt happen. but i think thats the same with everyone. 
anyway on a side note, dont you guys think its so fun and cool how ive not done my post labs that were due last friday? how every night ends up being 3-4 am until i go... mhmmmm yeah i guess nothing is happening. like i hope id bloom and do work at that 11pm-3am window and then i get here, suddenly having lost all track and sense of time and just sigh. its wasted, its basically tuesday already. have to keep telling myself dates bc it moves so weird. i planned on getting shit done two days ago. here we are regardless. and the most ill get done is get those stickers ordered bc that is i guess what ive been half focused on for mhmmm5 hrs. then ill save my 7 dollars or whatever, have stickers on the way, tomorrow order the case and thats one insignificant thing done. then the question will be have i looked at summer jobs? no of course not ive looked at ballet courses. shush. i havent showered for days bc theyve just slipped by too laying in bed, maybe tomorrow ill take a shower and pick up all the trash and tissues on the ground. maybe i will. i know i wont get real work done tonight, and already ill be sleepy till 1 pm and by then mom will be again on me abt sleeping to latesoo... yeah no point. and here i thought id make a quick totes relatable short post about how i need more money to buy stickers and maybe a brief my ideal life is to have enough money to spend on art being in every part of my life and all this  being unique so people love coming to my house and go wow its so original and cool. and that turned into a word vent thats so far taken me over half an hour. hi my batterys dying. 
lng story short, i’ll order the stickers currently in my basket after so much though, suck it up and do it and know that i have a bunch over in my wishlist for that next maybe even better sale when it happens. the only thing is im taking all the rest as transparent which for sure dulls them down (yeah white background looks sick but for some its just more classy w transparent, then theres this one bear i’m 100% naming wojtek thats in white bc i feel it’ll be best for him, and i guess having him in white will set that theres no clear rules to follow and worst case if it doesnt fit he can come chill on the keyboard side next to my mouse pad thing) honestly i cant tell if i should be getting them all in white and just hope that theyll look gorgeous no matter what. yikes 3 dollar shipping for stickers, ok itll actually be 19.62 pound and using euro card 22.50 in  euros.... am i dumb? maybe. and tho im supposed to be saving money up so i have some, i also did get birthday money sorta recently soo... birthday gift from them. first set of stickers. deep breaths ok. my parents told me when i bugged them that i just have to make a decision and not ask them all the time, and he said to get 3 stickers i told him id pick 12 so i think getting 9 is reasonable. also oh shit realising that the delivery time is 1-3 weeks and im staying here only 1 and a half more so i should really order it to scotland even tho it might get ther ebefore i do bc my parents might not rly want to send them up to me. idk ok order to scotland, thank f at least one of my flat mates is staying and tbh i should really bring her some chocolate... shes done me faavours. 
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Where can i find a good healthcare plan for myself and my kids? more inside?
"Where can i find a good healthcare plan for myself and my kids? more inside?
39 weeks prego with number 2. and neither have insurance except the smallest will have ga medicade when he is born.i am looking for insurance to cover them mostly. and everything i see has at least a $1000 deductible. what is a good way to do this? i am 21 and don't know any thing about insurance. help please :-) i
BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolutions.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 
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Hi everyone!! I am a 20 year old single mother. At the moment, I am studying and also about to get back into work. I have just passed my driving test and looking to buy a car....realistically, I think at this point a used one is ok even though I saw a site that sells cars and you can pay on installments. If I wanted a Ford KA, or a Mini Cooper, or a Renault (the one from the I see you baby shaking that asss advert few years ago), which insurance company is best and can give me a good cheaper deal. Thank you!!!! p.s manual cars are my focal point.""
Motorcycle insuance question?
I am 18 in CA and I plan to get a motorcycle as my first motorcycle because of high gas prices. I am thinking of getting the Kat 600 because of its comfort, I read so many reviews how good it is for long trips and stuff, now how much might my insurance be, also take note that I am getting one used and that I have 0 road experience even in a car, and I am starting my own insurance policy. Thanks.""
Car insurance - UK
My provisonal license will be valid in 2 months when im 17 and once i take my driving test and pass it, i plan on getting a car. The thing is that insurance will be quite high as i would have just passed my test and im only 17. My question is: If i get the car and register it under my mums (or dads) name and put the insurance under their names would it be cheaper? Bear in mind that my parents have about 16 years of no claims bonusus too, thanx xxx""
Advanced driving courses/car insurance?
Hi I am a 20 year old male, i passed 2 years ago, but since my dads insurance went up to 7000 with me as an additional driver both of us totally clean on a 1.4 astra i have been without my own transport as i had to be removed from the policy which is understandable. i've always been a sensible driver with 2 years no accidents or convictions but i have always been an additional driver to save costs on insurance but now the time has come to start building my no claims and i am struggling to find a car i can afford to insure. So long story short what i was wondering was could anybody please tell me of any advanced driving courses or any other ways to lower my insurance quotes and post links to them so i can find them easier. please help its becoming a real nightmare and i am sure if you can help me here you are helping thousands of other young drivers who are being punished because of muppets out there. Thanks for any help i would greatly appreciate it""
Enquiry about car insurance and how it works?
Okay, the question is worded wierdly, but you'll get it :P. Anyway, I have my driving test coming up in April, so I have to be thinking about a car, insurance etc. I was wondering if there was an average of how much car insurance is for the first month after you pass, and how long it stays like this till it starts too go down. Also, is there anyway I can reduce it? I plan on making parents named drivers etc, will this help reduce?""
Average motorcycle insurance?
how much is average motorcycle insurance in Louisiana, if 23 years old bike with 500cc have never crash or get ticket pretty good credit bike use only for leisure and to college help me y'all""
Car Insurance!?
I am planning to buy a used 1992 Honda Prelude for $2,700.00. How does the insurance work? Does the price of the car that I paid or the retail price, plays as a factor of how much I would have to pay monthly for insurance. What insurance company would be the best for a new driver with her G2 only? Does anybody have an idea of how much it will cost me (approximately monthly) for the insurance? What other fees or cost will I have to pay for?""
If I own property and pay insurance from 2 different insurance companies.?
If something were to happen to my property can I collect money from both insurances?
Estimated Cost per. monthly Payments on this car....?
I dont really have time to call my bank & ask.. seeing how my job hr's suck... nor can i go there cause i just sold my car. BUT does anyone know how much i would be looking at for monthly payments of a $7600 dollar Fairlady. If you dont know what this is ..its a 300zx Twinn Turbo but its a RHD ( right hand drive). I make a lousy 8.50/hr but i work 56 hrs a week. ... theres insurance. gas.. tuneups.. etc etc i know i know. just wanna rough estimate on it. thanks. Will choose Best Awnser -Kyrstie
Does anyone know where a 17 year old with a 3.8 grade average and a good driving record can get insurance?
I can't find anyone that will cover him,except Progressive, and they want 1400 dollars a year.""
Insurance agent won't write the homeowner's coverage she wants?
My fiance owns an old home in northern Ohio and was paying over $1,300 a year for homeowner's insurance until last year. She can't afford over $100 a month in premiums so I looked into trying to get a lower rate. All three agents that I contacted about the matter assumed a replacement cost for her house of around $157,000 which resulted in premiums of exactly what she had last year. The very idea of insuring her house for $157,000 is absurd for two reasons. The first is that I personally built a house in an upscale neighborhood which was almost three times as large and also had an attached garage. I sold that home for around $150,000 and made about $40,000 profit. The second reason that $157,000 is absurd is that any day of the week you can buy a much better house in the neighborhood for less than $60,000. I was able to find a lower rate of around $600 a year through the Ohio Fair Plan website by assuming a realistic replacement cost of $60,000 and not including such things as jewelry coverage (she has no valuable jewelry), and other coverages that don't make sense. Unfortunately, and after contacting several insurance agencies, not a one will write the coverage as specified. The gave me the flimsiest of excuses. It appears to me as if all the insurance companies doing business in our area may have colluded to lock in homeowner insurance rates far higher than is justified. I hope someone out there can tell me if there are laws that require some insurance company to issue a policy as specified by Ohio Fair Plan. Thanks in advance...""
What cars result in cheap insurance for young drivers?
What cars lead to new (young) drivers (aged 17/18) having lower car insurances then they would do with the Golf's or the Civics's. I would like to know male attracted cars. Thanks in anticipation
Car insurance?
i am a first time driver, can anyone advise me on who is best for car insurance?""
Do pcv holders get cheaper car insurance?
Do pcv holders get cheaper car insurance?
Which will cost more to insure? 00-04 mustang base or 00-04 mustang gt?
I'm 17 and live in New York. Been driving with a clean record for one year and I currently pay $100/month on my mom's '10 camry. I want to get my own car and I have narrowed everything down to a mustang, but I can't decide between a base model or a gt. I have discounts on my current policy such as good student and drivers ed. I will also take a defensive driving course for an added discount and the new car will also bring about a multi-car policy discount which will be helpful. My mom will be contributing the same $100 towards the car as she is now and the rest I have to pay for by myself. I have heard that the base and gt will cost about the same to insure, but that doesn't seem right considering that the gt has 100+hp more than the base, but people have supported that by saying the base models are involved in more crashes among young drivers. So can anybody set the record straight for me? Please don't give me responses saying that only my insurance agent can tell me that or too high for you to afford. Also would it be a wise decision to drop collision coverage for a huge insurance discount? I don't plan on racing this car.""
Where can i find a good healthcare plan for myself and my kids? more inside?
39 weeks prego with number 2. and neither have insurance except the smallest will have ga medicade when he is born.i am looking for insurance to cover them mostly. and everything i see has at least a $1000 deductible. what is a good way to do this? i am 21 and don't know any thing about insurance. help please :-) i
How much does car insurance go up from a minor accident w/no injuries?
I just got into an accident hitting a car on the freeway, not paying attention, so I hit the car in front of me. He said and his family weren't hurt, but you never know how they will feel the next day. How much will my car insurance go up? I have no tickets on my record & no accidents. I did receive minor damage to my car & a small dent to the other car';s bumper. I wasn't speeding or drinking. My car is a 2004 Honda Civic four door & I'm in my 40s. Oh, I live in CA. Thanks.""
Cheapest car insurance for teenagers?
I have a 16 year old what insurance is the cheapest to put her on
Car insurance for 17 year olds in the UK?
How could i get a cheap car insurance and what would be the cheapest price? every site i have been on it said about 3000 and that would be more then what the actual car costs.
Is it true that in MA your first ever ticket doesn't count against your auto insurance?
Is it like the first ticket is a wash/freebie? or does it raise your insurance points and rates regardless?
Do you have health insurance?
how old are you and how old are your kids?
I was denied medcaid and chips for my 2yr son. Is there any other affordable insurance out there?
I was denied Medicaid which is understandable. I applied for Chips and was denied as well.......because I was $50 over the income guidelines. I don't receive any other kind of assistance. I can't afford the insurance at work. I pay my own tuition for school, my own groceries, and so on. I just would like to know if there is any other type of affordable insurance for my child.""
Can you report someone for driving without car insurance?
i know this person and i was just wondering if you could turn them in for not having car insurance without them knowing who turned them in. I want to prevent someone from getting hurt and not getting there part of the insurance claim or whatever.....anything will help..THANKS!!!!
""Conservatives, what is your overall opinion on insurance companies?""
Particularly: a.) Insurance companies that practice rescission in which a person who has paid into the insurance fund is subsquently denied what he has paid for because the insurance company comes up with an arbitrary reason for denying the needed coverage. b.) Rationing. How do you feel about insurance companies who decide if a procedure is in their best interest and deny to someone a life-saving procedure because it isn't profitable to them in the long run? c.) Denials. Someone who works and wants health insurance and does not qualify for state aid because he actually works for a living and pulls his own weight, but can't find a job with benefits (increasingly common, and why are employers expected to foot the bill for insurance as they don't pay for your car insurance or renter's insurance and this limits job mobility and the ability to start small businesses), and is either outright denied or charged more than his monthly salary? d.) Do you think that if rent, clothing and food cost as much as monthly premiums for people with pre-existing conditions, that we would be in serious trouble? e.) How do you feel about people who had the misfortune to be born with a genetic pre-disposition to an illness, i.e., breast cancer, ovarian cancer, Crohn's Disease, Lou Gehrig's Disease, MS, Alzheimer's, haemophilia, etc. f.) Do you think that an emergency room qualifies as part of preventive, ongoing treatment or that it's not cost effective for sick people to wait until they are at the worst stage to get necessary treatment? g.) Can you explain how several nations, in fact the overwhelming majority, that have universal health care have still remained free, capitalist, prosperous nations, i.e., Australia, New Zealand, Ireland, Norway, Luxembourg, Malta, Netherlands, Japan, Israel, Singapore, Austria, Switzerland, Belgium, Finland.....they didn't go communist, and the people do not live in gulag states.""
Where to find cheap insurance in ontario?
I'm turning 22 had a Kawasaki Ninja 250R as a starter bike and looking to upgrade to something bigger. I have a clean record but any online quote I get for a bike 600cc or higher results in $10,000/year or higher in insurance. I see guys my age riding around all the time on R6s and CBR600RRs and I don't understand it. Am I missing something? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.""
How much should I expect to pay in Homeowners Insurance?
I am looking to buy a home and am trying to calculate monthly cost. The home we're looking at is $95,000.00. Our taxes are estimated at $800.00 and the home is in great condition (the rural location makes it affordable!) Any quick tips for a quick estimate? Anything would be helpful! Thanks!""
Is an acura integra cheap on insurance?
my son is thinking of buying one
Car insurance please help me out?
Oh right lol my query is as follows .. In July 2012 my daughter took out a pay monthly insurance policy with close premium 139 per month which was paid from my bank account every month on time for 12 months. When due for renewal August 2013 the insurance company sent her a quote saying payments were 168 per month! In view of this she decided not to insure her car and didn't use it. Shortly afterwards she receives a letter from close premium saying Hastings insurance could cover her for 100 per month but she never accepted this offer. In September 2013 Hastings took payment from my account so I contacted bank and recalled the payment. She now has a recovery agency acting on behalf of Hastings claiming she owes 400 . I can't see how she owes this money ? Do we have to pay this when we never accepted the policy and close premium passed on my bank details without my knowledge ? ( hope this makes sense)
Short term or long term disability insurance?
Which company offers the best short term or long term disability insurance? (price and coverage) I recently found out that I might get blind in future and need to have some income to support my family when I loose the job. I am having trouble understanding the system but would be great if anyone could help me out. I don't even know if these insurance thing can pay me with being blind. Thanks.
How to get cheaper car insurance?
I haven't yet passed my test, or even got a car, but was just researching to see if i could afford it. and the cheapest I could find was 3,000 a year which is impossible for me seeing as I'm at college. I was just wondering does anyone know of cheap places? or ways to cut it down by a bit? I have no one else in my house who drives, or even owns a car. thank you""
How much will my insurance go up after I've gotten a speeding ticket?
I got my first ticket when i was 14 and it was a $10 ticket. i recently turned 18, and i just got pulled over again. it was an $11 ticket. i dont want to tell my parents, but i know the insurance rate will go up, but how much? i live in north dakota.""
Can u use your parents health insurance without them knowing?
i wanna go to the doctors without my parents knowing using there insurance. is it possible? and i live in california and im 19 years old. help:(
""California learners permit, do you need insurance?""
California. Do you need insurance while u have your permits or do you use your parents? If no, I get insurance after I take my driving test? And can you have a passenger with you when you have a permit? Like an adult right next to you and your sister sits in the backseat.""
What does this dental insurance code mean?
The code is 42560 and it's by the insurance company equitable life insurance company of Canada . So what does this dental insurance code mean? How much will they cover for the gum graft? It's only one tooth that I need to have done for 600$. It's medical not cosmetic.
How much would it cost for insurance on this car??
Ok so i'm about to go for my license in december and my awesome brother is generously giving up his 96 Toyota Supra. As of now I have 1 job that gets me 300 every other week. And I'm poor and I have a cheap prepaid phone and cheap clothes. My question is will I be able to pay for my insurance on this salary. And I have like 3000 saved up. could I just pay for insurance for a whole year?
Health Insurance (Prescription insurance denied) Why?
Bad title for this question I know. I have never really had to go to the doctor for anything, ANYTHING. Recently I went to go see one because my energy level has been horrible, and I am always fatigued. After seeing the doctor, and getting lab work done, I had spent almost a $1000 dollars. But still, I'm okay with that, if its like one visit every six months or so, so what. Anyways, they found my Testosterone levels to be really really low. So they put me on a medication called androgel. Let me tell you, I can only get 15 days worth of this medication at a time, but every time I go to Walgreens to get a refill, I spend hundreds. Tonight when I picked it up it cost me $268.41. I called everywhere to see about health insurance, even though I only need help with prescriptions. I dont know what to do. I dont need all out full fledge health insurance. But apparently if I tried to get it anyway, I would be denied due to a pre-existing condition ((WTF))!! Apparently the only people who can qualify for health insurance are those who dont need it to begin with. And those who need it are denied because of a pre-existing condition. They are no programs that help with prescriptions that I know of, that dont require tons and tons of paperwork, audits, background investigations, and appointment after appointment. I am really upset and am lost with regard to getting the medication my doctor says I need, reduced in price. I cant afford almost $600 a month. But if even if I try to get health care, i will be denied. Could someone please help me out : ) Thanks for checking out my question I dont have health insurance because I never needed it. Plus I have always been responsible with my money""
Can I own a car and have someone else insure it?
Ok I'm 19 and currently own my own car and the pink slip is under my name but I know if I get insurance right now it will be high so I was wondering if my dad can insure it while I drive it under my name. I live in California and my dad has State Farm. Thank you.
Auto insurance question?
I'm going to be working for a delivering company and I need proof of insurance. I have it, but the car I'm driving is my mom's so the name on the card obviously isn't mine. The company I'm going to be working for needs proof that I have insurance and I don't know what kind of paperwork would work. Any ideas?""
Who has cheapest car insurance in florida?
Who has cheapest car insurance in florida?
""Can anyone tell me approximately, how much car insurance is in southern ireland for...?
20 year old female using peugeot 306 car? just passed test btw!
""If I buy car under parents name and insurance, will it be cheaper?""
I'm looking to change my car, residing with parents, if I buy a new car say under my dads name, with insurance under his name, will it be cheaper if I was to be added to that policy? Compared to having the car in my name and insurance as well? Thanks""
Where can i find a good healthcare plan for myself and my kids? more inside?
39 weeks prego with number 2. and neither have insurance except the smallest will have ga medicade when he is born.i am looking for insurance to cover them mostly. and everything i see has at least a $1000 deductible. what is a good way to do this? i am 21 and don't know any thing about insurance. help please :-) i
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/can-my-apartment-management-include-premiums-renters-insurance-jones"
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