#longpost

[kringle-c]

"It's only-"

[mediumgayitalian]

The crooked, creaky door of the cluttered infirmary storage room pushes open and slams shut in the span of a second, just barely allowing someone to dart through. Nico jumps, banging his head on the shelf he’s hiding under, chomping full force on his lip to bite back a shout. The shadows, on lucky reflex, bend around him and shroud his face. The rest of him he tucks further into the forgotten corner between two filing cabinets, holding his breath.

Under the unflattering light of the single swinging lightbulb, Will looks dull.

A thin headband attempts to hold back his frizzy hair, although it does very little. Curls stick out oddly and many shorter hairs are plastered to his temples and the back of his neck. His skin is unusually lacklustre, even pale, except for the high flush around his cheekbones. The bruising under his eyes rivals Nico’s. He has been wearing the same scrubs for the last two days.

With one last look at the closed door, nothing but garbled voices filtering through the heavy wood, he slumps. He drops his face into his chapped and bleeding hands, heels pressed into his eyes, and holds them there for ten seconds, twenty. Slowly, with trembles so minute they are at first glance unnoticeable, his shoulders begin to shake. The long fingers flexed and tensed around his forehead curl tightly, and he twitches, whole body trembling, teeth sunk hard into his bottom lip to stop his chin from quivering.

It does not work.

The first sob is quiet. He catches it quickly, forcing it back down, breathing heavily through his nose and out his mouth to beat it back. The second follows quickly, though, and it’s harder to choke down. When his face crumples, his resolve goes with it, and his knees hit the floor, sharp crack swallowed by the stillness of the room. He curls forward until his nose nearly hits his knees, hands sliding through his hair and over his ears and settling finally clutching together in the dip of his chest, bouncing with every heave of his chest. It’s quiet, his crying, enough that every dropped tear can be heard as it hits the dusty floor. The only time his sobs are ever audible is when he opens his mouth, trying desperately to soak up enough air to catch himself, to carry himself through.

Mute horror holds Nico’s tongue hostage.

He’d escaped in here the second Will had been called away this morning, dragged for the umpteenth time to handle a crashing patient or a complicated hymn or to soothe someone’s nerves. For the past two days he’s been doing his best to monitor Nico and a handful of other front liners who’d exhausted themselves in battle, but his focus has been split and the infirmary has been crowded. Whenever he runs off to put out whatever fire had cropped up — sometimes literally — the whispers start, the glances, the skin crawling up Nico’s back. Nico can hardly tell anymore what’s the shadows and what’s the people around him, watching him out of the corners of their eyes like they’re waiting for him to bust out a scythe and a black hooded cloak and start reaping.

The storage room is supposed to be an escape. Out of the way and forgotten as it is, it is supposed to be the place he can hide for an hour, escape the heavy gaze of the rest of the camp, collect himself before braving it all again.

Clearly, though, he’s not the only one who thinks so.

There’s something disorienting about seeing Will Solace cry. In the few times Nico has spoken with him during his visits to camp, he’s been a barely-contained explosion of energy, whether talking Nico’s ear off with updates about people he barely knows and references he hardly understands or cussing him out for overextending himself. He’s used — as much as he can be to someone he’s only beginning to really get to know — to his wildly flailing hands and widely playful grin, his loud drawling voice, his painful, constant brightness.

His hands, now, clench until they’re bloodless, trembling. There is no hint of his wide smile or twinkling eyes, because his face is hidden by all the hair that his given up on the pretence of the hairband, and the only sound from him are his gasping breaths and swallowed-back sobs. Nico watches him because he cannot look away. He flinches because every cry, every rough, scraping inhale, sounds like shattering rock, like an iceberg breaking off a glacier.

A quiet beeping startles them both.

For a stretch of time Will is motionless. The beeping continues, steady and soft, bouncing off the cluttered shelves and fading before they echo. After the third round — and Nico counts, if anything for something to do besides watch the chafed skin on Will’s hands crack and bleed with every flex — he drags himself upright, nails drawing lines in the thick dust of the floorboards, and rests back on his heels. He breathes for a moment, shuddering, hands pressed flat to his face; in, beep, beep, beep; out, beep, beep, beep. None of his breaths are ever steady, but he wastes no more time, swiping under his eyes and pinching his cheeks to restore his face to some of its usual colour. He grips onto each board of the shelf to his right as he yanks himself upwards, hand over hand, until he’s stretched, finally, to stand, although there remains a slouch to his broad shoulders.

The beeping continues, emanating from the watch on his left hand, growing softer or louder as he trails his fingers over the shelves from one end to the other, from the first, the second, the third. He pauses finally on a collection of bottles, turning them carefully to read the labels, then tucks them each gently into his already bulging pockets until he is left with what he must carry between his fingers.

The shadows bend to cover Nico again as Will turns, unknowingly facing him, and pulls himself suddenly straight-backed, chin set high, shoulders squared. He smiles, wide, fractured, squinting his eyes deliberately. The beeping stops. He breathes, in, smile, out, nod, and turns, striding, back to the door, opening it with flourish and swiping the dust off his clothes.

“Found them! Sorry it took so long, I really had to look —”

The door swings shut behind him, cutting off the rest of his sentence.

Nico stares at it with bile churning in his too-empty stomach.

[felassan]

Remember this? well, check it out: the mock-up style 'Lorem ipsum' preview page placeholders of the upcoming Mass Effect: The Official Cocktail Book have been updated and replaced with real preview pages. also, for the foodies out there, it looks like the book will also contain some recipes for food. [source]

[silverskye13]

how did you get the confidence to write fanfiction? i always worry that i won't portray the characters properly so any ideas or wants to write fanfics that i have go away or i talk myself out of it :(

Well! First and foremost: Most people don't start writing,,,, anything with confidence. Let alone fanfic, where you know other people are going to be looking at it, with their own ideas of how the characters are supposed to act and feel influencing what they're coming to the story with. My first fanfic I was very insecure, which I feel like was evident, reading through the author's notes now. Apologies whenever something that required a lot of suspension of disbelief happened, a poll so readers could decide the ending so I wouldn't disappoint anybody, only to end in me writing and posting three different endings. Long justifications for why I chose certain things in the author's notes. The fic nowadays reads to me like a very rough apology.

"Hi I'm sorry I tried. Be kind I'm very scared."

But the thing about writing that fic was, it was the writerly equivalent of jumping into the deep end of the pool for the first time. After I bobbed back to the surface and realized a shark hadn't like, taken my legs off while I was down there, jumping in again got easier. And kept getting easier. And now I just write and post things.

There's kind of two schools of thought that I've seen people subscribe to, when it comes to taking the first leap. The one that's really popular around here on Tumblr is: Do it scared. It is simple and straightforward. You are scared. You will be scared. You probably never won't be scared. So do it scared. Write your thing, close your eyes and hit send [either to post it or to share it with one or two friends, or even just hitting the "save" button and not deleting it]. Get scared, do it, close your eyes, finish. When you open your eyes again and nothing terrible has happened, you can breathe a sigh of relief and do it scared again. It's a little nerve-wracking at first, but the idea is giving your mind the association of jumping and not falling. I did it and I didn't fail, therefore it is safe to do it again.

The other school of thought [the one I specifically subscribe to] is: Do it once. What you think or feel about it doesn't matter. What matters is you did it once. Maybe it will be hell, or it'll suck terribly. Maybe you're really excited! And it turns out great! Maybe its a wild ride of ups and downs, and by the end you need a few months to catch your breath and decide if it was worth it. Regardless: you did it once. Now you know, if you want to, you can do it again. Now you can decide if its worth doing again. For me, the euphoria of finishing a project always far outweighs the trouble getting there, so the step forward of "Do it once" is powerful for me. And that can be broken down too. "Write one chapter." "Draw one drawing." "Clean one room in the house." There is no pressure to continue if its really that terrible, but you at least get to decide if one was worth it [and a solid 9 times out of 10, one was worth it enough to do it more.]

Now, all that said, if what you're worried about is writing the characters right and nothing else -- don't worry too much. Most people care less about how true to life the characters are, and care a lot more about consistency in the story. An example from RnS: In canon, Helsknight is a cartoonish villain with one motivation, and that motivation is taking over hermitcraft Doofenschmirtz style. To date, no one has come into my inbox demanding I change him, because he's so OOC he's basically an OC at this point. What people have come into my inbox about though, is "Hey, you established X in this chapter, but he said Y in this chapter. Was there a reason for that?" which is them saying, "Why didn't you keep your character consistent?" If you tell your audience what the expectations are for the story and you stick with them, they will stop caring about OOC moments and characterizations, and will trust you're going somewhere with your writing. Suspension of disbelief, your powerful friend! They put the world on their shoulders and carry and everybody watches and claps.

If you're also worried about consistency, then start out with one shots! There's a lot less room for error, no large, sweeping character arcs to keep track of. And stringing a bunch of one-shots together can give you practice with character consistency and progression without committing to something massive and overarching. If you're truly worried about making the characters exactly like Canon [or the Canon in your head], I recommend making little lists of character traits, or important things you want to keep in mind. At that point you're scared of your own consistency, and you just need a framework to keep yourself consistent enough for yourself, if that makes sense?

Hopefully! This helps! Sorry I'm a little scattered today :'D

[dontcallmepepper]

@atallephoculary

Gin knew better than to go out at night, that’s why she had Peaches with her, the nimble cougar was able to move like a shadow in the night and she could sense danger before it became a problem. So why was she out here going against every rule she had for herself? Well, she and a team of recruits were scouting the surrounding acres, just to see how close Jacob was encroaching on her ranch, to take care of threats before they became problems. She, Peaches, and her recruits knew the arts of quiet takedowns. Her group could wipe out a small campsite in the night and the loudest noise could just be a crackling fire. Since there had been a decline in campsites in the area as of late, the team spread out a little more to gather more recon. 

There was talk of this deputy, floating around the mountains. Saying she alone was going to save this place. Well, she couldn’t even arrest the man behind it all and they were right there. 

Oh, what Gin would give to have an audience with Joseph Seed again… 

He approached her, on his own once before, surprisingly without his goon siblings, trying to acquire her ranch. To which she declined. She kept it civil, then, but what Joseph didn’t know was there was a twelve gage behind her back, hidden by the front door. However, the moment she closed the door on him, she had gotten to work fortifying the place to what it is now. A home base for refugees, the only cattle ranch equipped with enough protection to secure food sources that weren’t tainted by Bliss. There were a few farms still standing for crops and smaller livestock, the fences were highly electrified by its own independent power source that the Cult had no control over. Impenetrable stashes, levels of security clearance. All thanks to her former boss. Somehow, though with all of the technology, something is still blocking signals going outside of Hope County. They were all still cut off from the outside world to get help. 

She had to protect what she had to get more. 

No one was going to threaten that. 

She was stopped short when she saw Peaches lay her ears back and lay low to the brush, her tail flicking slowly and Gin raised her rifle. She looked down at her thermal scope, scanning the areas in front of them. She could see the white-hot mass shaped like Peaches, a couple of birds, a deer… there was something else out there. When she panned east she froze and flicked the safety off. There was a heat signature shaped like a person, running right for her. She immediately thought of an Angel. The erratic panting, stumbling footsteps, and sloppy gait — it all indicated a cracked-out Cult monkey. Something made her look without her scope and she saw that it wasn’t an Angel, but a woman running right for her. Peaches snarled just as Gin collided with her and the two of them fell to the leaves below. 

“Hey! Jesus!” Gin groaned as the wind was knocked out of her. 

[dstmaxwell]

If you're being 'harassed' why won't you just block the said person or confront them L.O.L.

It's the internet, its not that deep.

well i tried but for every account i block i get lie, 3 other ones , its likea hydra

ive switched accounts and platforms countless times too, even stopped using social media full stop for a while but yea it always comes down 2 this loll..........................

It might not be that deep and i might be doing something wrong yet still its not the internet as the person who i suspect of behind this from my irl life and it might be dangerous for me to do so

I FEEL PATHETIC POSTING THIS TBH n i now tHat noone is ere to watch me talk abt this but im at my wits end ya all .. im not asking for help or comfort im just asking for a boundary to be followed since my physical health has started to majorly decline over this

i why u might think im being overly dramatic over it and i maybe am but i think but . ive blocked only 3 ppl on twitter ever for unrelated reasons as i dont use twitter much and i have no reason to block anyone except for the accounts that yarrassme, now keeping this in mind look at my twt blocklist chart lol

plus the highest amount of accounts blocked in ONE day

(its 480 i think?? this chart is weird i doubt i blocked over 1 in one day)

plus like, most info is lost cause i used to use a diff twitter account until early 2023 and like . most of the accounts i blocked are now deleted so while theyre in the graph they arent in the overal count, so it might be over 1000 by now lol...

[carnation-damnation]

sonic playlist rambles...2! (Shadow edition)

THERE HE IS

pasting the key again :P

So my playlists generally function with songs like this:

Song that would play during a story/scene or Event Happening (The majority of them tend to be this)

Song I think give off this character's vibes/personality

Song I think they'd bop to ..

oh hey it's shadow's precedence to Sonic's Analog Boy. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa it HURTS

The ultimate lifeform...it might be you!

Just a musical representation of Shadow realizing that he won't be able to make it to the ark without Sonic's help and that Sonic may not be able to make it if he takes Shadow with him. His last thoughts as he gives one of his rings to Sonic. As a keep sake. A forget me not. Please remember me. Please remember me for the things I've accomplished, for what I fought for, not for what I was lead to believe. Please. Crying now bye

I BELIEVE IN SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG HEALING ERA!!!!!!

In my head this song would take place post '06. But like. an '06 where Shadow doesn't join the government organization that killed his family. I believe in a Shadow the Hedgehog that's firm in his motivations to get better. He is not going to follow the path set by others anymore. No ghosts to keep him tethered to a painful past, but a lantern of light to follow that leads him to a brighter future. I made art to this song. I made a post to this song. This song is Shadow's goodbye letter to the Shadow he was. The Shadow he can't remember. The Shadow that he can never be again.

That was part 1 of this post! Part 2 posted soons goodbye

[kazumahashimoto]

i'll give it to them though can we fucking. like i've already gone into how insane it makes me that zack's theme is the same as angeal's but then in rebirth even GONGAGA has that same theme. SIDE NOTE: i've been calling it the dreams and honor leitmotif but apparently it shows up in under the apple tree first? which is honestly so much sicker 😭😭😭😭😭😭 like do you get it.... angeal tells zack a bit of his childhood and describes the trees and fruit he grew up around and zack thinks that's nice and all, but why tell him all that? and angeal smiles and says no story is not worth hearing. and then we hear that leitmotif through the entire game. it's angeal's theme. it's zack's theme. it's in half the damn songs in the soundtrack. and now in rebirth it's gongaga's theme. ARE YOU. FUCKING. KIDDING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE UNDER THE APPLE TREE WHICH REPRESENTS ANGEAL AND HIS HOME NOW REPRESENTS ZACK AND HIS HOME AS WELL..... THERE IS NO ZACK WITHOUT ANGEAL I'M GONNA THROW UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[teamsieben]

Okay I only have like 20 minutes to type this so I'll try and be fast.

There are some criticisms of AJR that I understand, and a lot more that just don't make sense.

1. "Their lyrics are so corny!"

Correct. I like corny lyrics.

2. "They sound so generic!"

Do you need a dictionary? Because generic means that something sounds the same as others. Maybe I just don't listen to a ton of music, but I wouldn't call them generic.

3. "They're music for millennials!"

For one, how the fuck are they for millennials? What does that even mean? Is there a point in time where they say "This song is only for people born between 1981 and 1996"? And I thought we didn't want a generational war, why are you using millennial as an insult?

4. "They're childish!"

Everyone was a child once. It's not unusual to make songs about your childhood. Plus, I think it fits with the "I'm a dysfunctional loser" persona. A dysfunctional loser would still not be over their middle school bully, for example.

5. "It sounds like ass!"

That's not a criticism. Dislike grand theatrical-sounding and/or "quirky" music all you want, but your opinion is not objective.

Generally just... stop getting your musical opinions from the internet hivemind. Stop parroting everything you heard your favorite Tiktoker say.

I don't even know why I'm using all this energy on defending AJR, I don't even listen to them that much. I listened to OK Orchestra all the way through once and a few other random songs and that's about it. I guess...this may just be me projecting but a lot of their songs are relatable to me as a neurodivergent person. And it just feels like bullying all over again.

[skxrbrand]

𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐌 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐎𝐒 - 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐒

Situated in the ever-changing, roiling wastes of the Chaos Realms, the Forge of Souls is a unique sub-realm within the aethyr. It is not controlled by any of the primary Chaos Gods. Daemons and damned mortals of all stripes eek out a living here, though they too have no allegiance to the Great Four.

Though nominally neutral, the Chaos God Hashut holds significant sway on this island in the warp. While he has his own realm, some whisper that the Forge of Souls is an "outpost" of sorts, constructed among the Realms of the Gods so that the Bull-father might do business with the Ruinous Powers just as his mortal followers deal arms to the mortal hordes and legions of chaos.

The Greater Daemon Hashtorr the Arcanite is the undisputed major power within the Forge of Souls. Hashut is his master; he is a K'daii, but one unbound to machinery as one might see on the mortal plane. A great fiery creature of bovine suggestion and daemon-forged metal wielding a massive forge-hammer, Hashtorr's creed "A peaceful land, a quiet people" runs counter to his fearsome appearance. He is a daemon of business and contracts first; while not shy about applying force, pressure, and coercion, it's a tool he uses sparingly. Hashtor and his cult reside in the godly Ebon Skull, said to be a tributary gift taken by Khorne himself.

When a noteworthy Hellsmith petrifies, their souls are sent to Hashut and they wear new flesh as one of his daemons. These are his Daemon Princes, the True Sons of Hashut, who assist in maintaining Hashtorr's rule (and, on occasion, try to usurp the old daemon) through the suggestion of, or in some cases explicit use of, violence.

Below Hashut's loyalists are those independent daemons who band together to maintain that independence from the Chaos Powers, damned mortals, undivided daemons, and exiled Ruinous Daemons who may be permanent or transient residents of the Forge. For godless daemons there are few prospects, but the Forge of Souls provides a path to recouping some influence. Hashut is not the only God who produces war-artisans and those with these skills put them towards the creation of Soul Grinders. Those who do not have the skills typically ally themselves to a Daemon who does and perform menial, thankless jobs, such as accruing the materials needed to create these hulking warpmetal monstrosities (and surreptitiously trying to learn the craft so that they might escape the thrall of often cruel masters).

As for the daemons who are bound to these husks; these are the slain children of the gods. In order to shorten the time it takes to re-manifest, Chaos Daemons may opt to strike a pact with the Forge-daemons of the Forge of Souls. In return for collecting a certain amount of souls, they are returned to their original bodies, but this is not a debt easily settled and the Artisans often have no wish in truth for it to be paid. A daemon who is slain before they can settle their debt must sell itself again to the Forge of Souls and start over, or linger in oblivion like all other daemons. If a Chaos Daemons remains in a Soul Grinder for too long, it's personality begins to fade until it is entirely subsumed into the machine.

Daemons of Chaos can still technically settle their debt while in this state and be returned as a blank slate of a daemon to their former bodies, but their minds are still very much gone. However, many Artisans stipulate that once a daemon reaches this state, they forfeit their lives entirely to the Forge-Daemon who crafted the body.

The Forge Daemons keep the wrath of the Chaos Gods at bay by functioning as a dealer for premium weapons for their daemons and, in some cases, even the Gods themselves through it's connection to Hashut. However, one stipulation in all pacts struct between slain daemons and Artisans is this:

Should the Chaos Gods make war upon the Forge of Souls and attempt to usurp the powers established there, all Soul Grinders must abandon previous loyalties to defend their new home and masters. This is the basis for much of the uneasy peace within the Forge; every Soul Grinder created is a one piece of a mighty bulwark against aggressions from the Ruinous Powers, who all the Forge-dwellers fear.

The only daemons solidly unwelcome in the Forges are those spawned of the Horned Rat.

[niko-jpeg]

BOOP ATTACK

AAAACAK SHJSNSKS IVE BEEN BOOPED

[xeniiye]

Feeling More Safe Posting On Tumblr than Other Socials as Someone Who Started Posting Art on Instagram at 14

Ok as someone who used to be very chronically online, I started to post my art on amino at 11, (great choice I know, but it wasn't a crazy huge social and it was mainly very fandom centric and it was advertised to be family friendly but obviously no if I want to make a post about Amino I will) I was using it until May 2020, then I made my instagram account at 14 in late September of 2020. By the next month I joined the dsmp/mcyt fandom during that time. I had fun but I wanted to draw other ships unlike dnf, I only drew it at the time for more reach due to how popular. Eventually I did move accounts recently, it was mentally draining that my dnf posts would be getting 350-900+ likes but when I try to branch out it would be <100 which was draining.

Also there is an artist I LOVE who mainly posts on Tumblr but is very successful on other platforms says that she has instagrams but is more picky with her posts. I feel it's because people are very immature there, if a ship is not mainstream people will completely clash and hell, some people will try to spread rumors and allegations just because they drew a ship they found weird because they never saw it, didn't like the ship, or the artist decided to draw something else other that ship that one follower likes. It gives a sense of caution and restriction, and as someone who started off on amino with a community of people that were chill with a lot of ships from rarepairs to crack I thought that other aspects of the fandom on different socials would work that way as well. No sadly, it feels like if you try to post what you like, people will maybe attack you or just straight up unfollow you, and the instagram algorithm will hate you and not give you as much reach.

Honestly now it feels like you need to have instagram or twitter because you can get more opportunities, business wise, so it feels like a struggle in a way.

I don't know, I'm just a 17y/o art kid on the internet so what do I know

Bye for now!!! Thank you for reading this longpost!!

[everyteamsterisasaint]

This is probably bad sc(oy)ience, but it seems to me like one study that should exist is one where they take a look at how long it takes to accomplish some repetitive task over n repetitions of the task. So ideally you would take something like, I don't know, assembling a chair or whatever and say, okay, here are your tools and materials, GO, start the timer, see how long it takes them, stop timer, that's ATTEMPT 1, by PERSON 1, etc. Then: Get identical models of chair and have them be assembled in ATTEMPTS 1 through ATTEMPT n Then take averages of ATTEMPT1 across persons 1.., p, and take a look at what the model is.

What I think you'd probably get is some kind of inverse exponential curve, e.g., something like T = Aexp(-bn), A some constant parameter based on the general difficulty of the task, b some parameter denoting how difficult the task is to learn and master. If this was true, it seems like it would have implications for operations management generally in favor of seniority - you could make concrete calculations about every year of seniority saving you some amount of time, improving production by this much, etc., training a new guy is this expensive based on the time differential for him to complete a task.

I can't find any study to this effect, though, so I suppose I'm getting ahead of myself. I know a lot of manufacturing and operations data is actually proprietary, and while it might be technically true labor unions already go above and beyond accounting for seniority in comp.

[fazedlight]

Supergirl the show poses a question: Who is the real Kara?

Kara Zor-El, Kara Danvers, Supergirl. Who's the mask?

In the beginning, Kara doesn't even know. In the aftermath of Krypton's and Kenny's deaths, she did everything she could to appear as normal as possible - there was little room for her own innate traits to shine through when she was being as nondescript and people-pleasing as possible.

But that's not who Kara is.

We get the first glimpse of who Kara really is during Flight 237.

This is not about her being Supergirl or her powers (though both are relevant). Kara has suppressed herself for over a decade. She's not going to make waves - until she has to. Our first real insight into who Kara is now is as a devoted sister. It wasn't until Alex's life was at risk that Kara started breaking out of her shell (and then there was no holding back).

Our protagonist is a mid-20s adult - this isn't a coming-of-age story in the traditional sense. But it is a story of finding oneself and what it takes to get there.

And it starts with defending found family after a lifetime of loss.

So Kara creates the Supergirl persona. I think the cape is a crutch.

People say "a crutch" like it's a bad thing. But crutches are actually pretty fucking useful. They support you when you need it, whether it be short-term or long-term. They help you get around when you otherwise may not be able to.

Kara was deeply traumatized by losing everyone and everything she ever knew, being thrown into a world that overwhelmed her senses and made even her most casual movements into dangerous ones, and was told she needed to suppress everything - who she used to be, what she was going through now - to survive.

To find herself again, maybe she'd need a tool to get past what she had been through! The cape became that tool. She was able to unbury the heritage she had been hiding, she was able to embrace the powers that had burdened her, she was able to find her own bravery (and reactivity, she's got flaws in there too).

Keep in mind, in the scene above, Kara isn't "human for a day". Kara is powerless... just like she spent the first 13 years of her life. Her bravery isn't about her powers or Supergirl; they just help her get started.

That's not where her growth ends.

Kara's instincts for helping people start getting unburied in season 1, and she is excited to tag along someone else's quest to figure out where future threats may lie, or figure out how she can use her powers in service to the DEO.

But it's not until this moment that she realizes that Kara Danvers can be more, too. Lena unintentionally launches Kara's career - a second pathway for Kara's desire to help people, growing into a passion she is going to pursue (even if she gets fired). Her worth is no longer just about her sun-granted powers or being Superman's "younger" cousin.

In season 4, we even see her realization that Kara Danvers can be more powerful than Supergirl, because some fights can't be won by fists. That's a real discovery for herself.

Which I think, looking back, might becoming especially baffling for her... because Kara Danvers was originally an identity imposed on her when she needed to hide.

It's important to note that, while Kara Danvers was originally a facade that Kara gets at thirteen, she doesn't stay a facade - even in the suppression era.

We don't see enough of who Kara is when she's on Earth, left to her own devices. But we see glimpses - we know she likes baking (and we know we shouldn't try what she makes), we know she paints, we know she listens to NSync and Britney Spears. She's a goofball (even when she puts on the cape). Kara Danvers starts as a facade, but becomes a vehicle for Kara to continue developing her personality, now in her new context.

Would she have the same interests on Krypton? Maybe some and not others, maybe some new ones that don't exist on Earth. We're all products of our environments, after all. Her interests as Kara Danvers aren't necessarily fake just because they're different than what she expected.

Though she'll never know who she would've become on Krypton.

Which brings us to Kara Zor-El - the identity that is frozen.

Most people aren't the same person as an adult that they were as a child. Interests, tastes, personality, world outlook, philosophy - all of these shift over time, sometimes dramatically.

Parts of her are going to be deeply rooted in Krypton, and she's going to have ties to a culture that no one else on Earth has. It's not an aspect of herself that she can erase. But it's also not an aspect of herself that was able to develop for the remainder of her childhood and early adulthood.

She, like all of us, was destined to lose pieces of herself. But some of her loss was very sudden, and the pieces she lost probably weren't going to be the same on Krypton. Of course, she has no way to know.

And I think that frustrates her.

I guess my answer to "Who is Kara?" is that the three personalities clash with and harmonize with each other. None of them are truly her. All of them inform who she is.

There's a young Kara Zor-El as her root that was torn from the ground before she could ever grow.

There's a Kara Danvers who formed the bulk of her life - a mask that was given to her, the only vehicle for her personality, who ultimately became someone she could embrace as worthwhile in her own right.

There's a Supergirl who distinctly separates from those around her, but lets her move past her numbness and reclaim her heritage.

And it's that clash that makes her a particularly compelling character.

Maybe that's a cheating answer to the original question.

But there's still a missing piece to the puzzle - because it's not just about Who is Kara? but also about Who does Kara want to be?

I think Supergirl is something that could fade if needed. If Kara lost her powers, she would find a new normal, so long as she was able to pursue her desire to help the world in some capacity.

But the truth of her is somewhere between Kara Danvers and Kara Zor-El. The truth of her is in what Supergirl allowed her to unbury, even if not directly tied to Supergirl herself. But Danvers and Zor-El are burdens, in a way. Lena is one of the few people who sees the person in between, who understands Kara on her own terms. Which is why Kara is terrified of Lena's rejection.

I think it's one of the most telling lines in the show - to be just Kara is to be free of her own baggage, to be able to embrace herself despite the pain in her history. Something I think we all want, that is never entirely possible.

But the pursuit is still a worthwhile one.

[theoretically-questionable]

"oh scientific papers are so dry" WRONG i have read papers with bleaker, wryer humour than any comedian has put on stage

consider the following paper: Leaving No Child Behind: Decomposing Socioeconomic Inequalities in Child Health for India and South Africa

As the title would suggest, it is about child nutrition in heavily exploited global regions. As such, in addition to dealing with complex social and economic issues, it also has to content with a pervasive web of (often explicitly racist) misconceptions in the public eye.

Therefore, while i cannot speak for the actual intentions of the authors, there is a great deal of bleakly funny wording in here, alongside a vein of bitter, preemptive "I dare you to try raising objections or playing oblivious, this has been pointed out LOTS OF TIMES BEFORE" sentiment throughout.

For instance, after making the point that wealthy families can afford food (and so the issue is more complex than 'this region is poor'), the authors provide eleven citations:

For context, you usually get between one-to-three citations for such a straightforward claim. Five might be excessive. Eleven very much seems like the authors are looking meaningfully at the reader and Making A Point.

Particularly as the similarly uncontroversial idea 'if you don't solve economic inequality you can't solve world hunger' gets twelve citations:

And the fantastically straightforward sentiment of 'your healthcare is fucked up because you won't fund basic welfare' also earns a tidy eleven citations:

Then, a staggering TWENTY citations are laid out for 'seriously, if a household is food-insecure and in a rural area with less-maintained social and material infrastructure, their kids are more likely to suffer from malnutrition':

But, beyond anything else that the authors decided to slap an inarguable number of citations on, the bleakly funniest, tongue-in-cheek message in the entire paper (one that made me genuinely stop and re-read it) was, to paraphrase, 'the problem of malnutrition is not that mothers do not know their children need food'.

Because, yes, there are a non-trivial amount of people that are convinced individual education initiatives are the best way to lift regions of people out of malnutrition and poverty.

As opposed to, like, reliable and sufficient funding for infrastructure and a robust social safety net - and also reducing economic stratification by Actually Redistributing Hoarded Wealth, Jesus Tapdancing Christ.

(Also, you will have to take my word for this but an early pre-edit version of this paper contained the accidental phrase "poor children were less likely to be nutritious", which doubtless led to the rarely seen editors note of "Revised: original sentence implied cannibalism.")

[kazumahashimoto]

rating angeal mentions in rebirth:

a single white feather falling from the sky while zack carries cloud to midgar: 10/10, subtle, tasteful, referencing zack's death scene where he sees angeal's feathers falling around him while he comes to pick him up, very sweet.

all the banora white posters, specifically the one next to a stamp poster and the one on the job board (?) in the slums: 10/10 i feel so sick. again, subtle, continuing to show how frequently zack gets reminded of angeal. very good.

"hopes and dreams, something like that": 0/10 what the fuck was this what in the world what on earth who are you? who is this? what are you even saying to me right now? huh?? something like that? something like that? you mean to tell me fully and openly that zack is forgetting the line here? like idk you could argue this is them showing that zack is stressed or not as good of a mentor as angeal was to him but like REALLY? we see zack repeat this phrase over and over and over these are his morals this is his mantra and he's Trying to give the speech to biggs but he's just. hopes and dreams, something like that? i'm just not into zack's writing here in general we all know this but ouuuhhhh this made me so upset. this is not helped by the fact that later when him and cloud say the line together they still fuck it up. perhaps it's semantics over a single word but changing the line to "embrace your dreams, and whatever, happens protect your honor as a soldier" feels soooooooo like what you're gonna go through the effort for nearly thirty years to make SOLDIER a proper noun, specifically using incorrect grammar to put an emphasis on the title and make a deliberate separation between being a soldier, and being SOLDIER, because SOLDIER is essentially a different breed of person, a MONSTER, IF YOU WILL, just to change it for your LE EPIC ZACK+CLOUD VS SEPHIROTH FIGHT!!!!!!!!!! like ok. whatever. whaaaaaatever.