#i conveyed my feeling of being mentally stuck forever in the house i was growing up in where i was traumatized the most as

[selamat-linting]

something is definitely wrong with me but she's (jennifer) just like me fr

[struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor]

I will, again, do the unthinkable and say HYYH is my least favorite concept of theirs (or maybe their earlier albums were worse). 

I hate nostalgia. I don’t like the sentimentality of it. I don’t like how BH commercialized the loneliness/pain/hardship of youth and portrayed it as equal parts beautiful and sad. I don’t like Young Forever that much (regardless of the intent behind the song, we won’t be young forever, and I know people who were cruelly robbed of their youth), I don’t like (more like *love*) the lyricism of many HYYH songs. I just don’t like poetic lyrics, I can’t understand or relate to them. There’s no beauty in loneliness and pain, even if you grow stronger from it or discover things about yourself in the process. There’s only been one year of my life that came close to the idea behind HYYH, and the rest of my youth has been miserable. I see no beauty in wasting away my “golden years” as I have done, and I find that romanticizing youth is toxic, but BTS didn’t waste their youth away at all, which is why HYYH is a story of triumph. I would much rather talk about how overhyped being young is, or how any stage of life can and should be beautiful in its own way. And in saying this, I don’t mean to imply BTS themselves were romanticizing youth *in a bad way*, but aren’t the aesthetics of HYYH doing that? Like, for example, the pictures of Jikook sitting back to back wearing youthful clothing, gazing sadly and prettily at the sky?

I can’t relate to HYYH as a concept. I love a lot of the songs, mostly the fun ones (Dope, Fire, Silver Spoon, Ma City) and a few of the more emotional ones too (Run, Love is Not Over, House of Cards, etc.), so it’s not that I don’t love the music, I just can’t relate to it as a concept. I much prefer the pure, polished, pop sound of Love Yourself. It feels so much more genuine to me, even if it’s not really better. It’s commercial, but they’re not “lying” to you about it. HYYH just feels like one of the most commercial decisions they’ve done as a group -  appealing directly to younger fans by making the switch from bad boys to soft boys - and as much as I understand why people love it, I just can’t love it. To be clear, I’m not saying BTS sold out or anything like that - I understand why they would try something new if Dark&Wild didn’t get them the results they wanted - but HYYH is seen as the peak of BTS’s musical integrity and creativity, when, really, it wasn’t. The introduction of the BU meant that the lyrics to their title tracks, like all lyrics which are based on concepts rather than personal experiences, lack some of the sincerity of, say, Black Swan, which is also based on a concept but draws more directly from RM’s experiences without being about a “girl” (I Need U). RM probably wrote I Need U sincerely, using romantic love as a pretext for the deeper meaning he was trying to convey, but that’s exactly why I can’t connect to the lyrics. BTS’s albums are based on concepts, and on that note, I don’t fully get Wings either. I haven’t looked too much into it, but I take lyrics at face value, which often doesn’t work... I don’t mind the MOTS:7 concept, because it allowed them to express themselves fully, but I wonder if all of their songs do, when they’re “stuck” on concepts? Idk.

I believe BTS were genuine with their lyrics and that HYYH era means a lot to them. This is purely how I feel about it. I hate indie music for the same reasons I can’t connect with HYYH. It’s not the music or the era I don’t like - it’s what it represents. This isn’t a critique of the era as much as an explanation of why I don’t fully enjoy it. Of course they weren’t trying to romanticize loneliness in a bad way; people write beautiful poetry about their pain to make it better - I just don’t enjoy that kind of mental exercise. I feel somewhat *repulsed* (not grossed out, more like I don’t vibe with it) by nostalgia and sentimentality. BTS were writing about the hardships of youth, and were hoping to help and comfort us, but I don’t like the aesthetics of HYYH - you know, the boys in Run who rebel against the world by spray painting cars, and who always have each other’s backs. What does that mean? Nothing, probably, because it’s part of the BU, which is a fictional story, not actually representing BTS themselves. HYYH is inextricably tied to the BU, and I neither know nor care for it. 

I don’t know if this opinion is ignorant. I don’t know the lyrics to all their songs and I haven’t explored their symbolism. There are a lot of songs with nice lyrics that I don’t find meaning in, and RM can write lyrics in a way I don’t know how to properly digest. I also feel like a bad Army for not knowing all the theories about HYYH or the concept behind Wings. I don’t like concepts... I like lyrics that are literally about people’s personal experiences, like Agust D - lyrics that I can relate to and that help me understand the artist better. When there are concepts involved, the truth gets mixed up with the aesthetics of it and it takes too much effort for me to detangle it. 

[briteboy]

awesome anon tag 🌞

i don’t have any posts today so i’m doin’ this!! i’m not really sure why this is called that? but it is. and here it is. thank you for tagging me @treelinesandpoppyfields (idk why it won’t let me tag you) and @seedlingspirit! i love to go on wild tangents about my characters and my weird writing process. enjoy

How did you come up with such unique & fascinating characters?

pls don’t gas me up like this i promise i don’t need it. but um...hmm. i’ve said this all before, but my characters are just extensions of me and different parts of my personality (as well as people i know.) they are characters that have existed for a long time, latently, and they didn’t take shape until i was able to actualize their forms in the sims. it’s weird and i don’t know if this will make sense, but when i really started to get into my story on here, it felt like everything i’d ever written had been leading up to it. like my own personal magnum opus. they were characters that took other forms before this in my other works, but finally came into their own on here. i talk about them like they’re real people, i know, but i think it’s because...i speak and put a lot of energy into my characters, and that’s what draws people to them. i appreciate all that makes a human, and that’s all they are...just very HUMAN, flawed and beautiful and all. i’m frankenstein

When you started writing your story, what did you take into consideration?

WELL. as an 8th house mercury, i think you can all tell i like to explore the taboo and push the limits of what’s acceptable, especially if it’s a delicate subject that will be worth illuminating and starting a conversation about. one of the biggest reasons i put off santi’s story for so long was because i was worried that y’all weren’t ready for it lmao. i knew when i committed to it that i was going to really have to go about it carefully, because suicide, depression, mental illness and trauma are...a lot. and again with lou, i was sooooooo nervous because i knew i was going to be writing about an age gap and the power dynamics and manipulation that come with it. i anticipated going into it that people would get all of these things misconstrued and think i condone them just because i’m writing about them, so i had to prepare myself for that. it’s fine, there are some things people just don’t want to understand past surface level and i get why they’d be put off by it in the first place. but i knew if i wanted the stories to really convey something, i’d have to bite the bullet, research and plan and write accordingly to make something powerful and meaningful. 

How did you shape each character’s background/family?

slowly and over time, that’s all i can say, really. i love studying other cultures and featuring them in my writing, so you can see how that’s been the basis of much of the expansion of my characters. story stuff aside, my favorite part of the sims is the family dynamic and raising up generations, so that’s kinda the backbone of my story? little details just took shape over a while and in turn it helped me shape the plot.

Do you plan everything before starting, or are you more spontaneous?

oh i am a planner through and through. i have to know every big event and the in between details (roughly) before i can commit, otherwise it feels directionless. that being said-- as i go along, things do change, i take out some things and add in others as it feels right. i was actually a bit more spontaneous with santi’s story at first because storytelling through the sims was a whole new thing for me and i had no idea what i was doing and early on i just winged it...i went in with a rough idea for molly’s fate and i was juggling a few possibilities but it didn’t actually click for me until like 4 months into the story. sometimes it just be like that!! now that i’ve been doing this for a while tho i know what to expect from my own progress and with my past experience planning stories, so it’s a lot more formulated this time. 

Does reality inspire you, or do you rely more on your imagination?

reality definitely!! i just think the intricacy of human life is fascinating, everyone is going through something different and on the surface you’d never be able to tell, but each individual has their own story, things that they’ve been through and survived, etc. and i love exploring that concept

When did you KNOW you were going to make this story?

oh. oho...this post. when i first made santi i was like...oh...this fucker. like...on some level i just KNEW i would get attached to him. and i stuck with girooni and didn’t play with him for so long because i was like...i can’t...this isn’t what my followers signed up for...and then he moved in with girooni that summer and i started playing with him and i was like...oh.............oh...........i don’t even know where it came from but ideas kept popping into my mind and nagging me, and i was reading a storm of swords at the time and jon’s storyline with ygritte...just..........ok..........i read the cave scene and i was like...“oh. haha...great. so i’m really gonna have to do santi’s story aren’t i.” and that night i stayed up writing out everything i knew about santi and his back story and it just came flooding out. lou’s story...i never intended on doing anything with her in that realm until maybe like...i think...may-ish? of last year? when things were about to start poppin’ off in santi’s story...and it was just vague ideas again like it started with santi, and THEN...lorde’s melodrama came out and i was like oH.............yeah so like that’s happening then. it’s funny, the pattern seems to be: 1) vague ideas, 2) fighting those ideas, 3) consuming a piece of media that reminds me of those ideas and gives me an epiphany, and 4) finally giving in and doing the damn thing.

What has shaped your story into being the way it is?

i mean, not much other than what i’ve already said here. it’s interesting because i feel like i actually grow with my story. it isn’t JUST a piece of fiction, it’s a process and an experience, and as it grows, i grow with it, and my freaking...pisces mercury...makes me absorb all the emotions that the characters experience so it’s just a huge commitment for me. i know i sound crazy saying this but...lmao i guess the story and i shape each other. i treat it like a living, breathing thing. also all the amazing responses DEFINITELY influence it as well. it’s weird to think how different it might’ve been if i’d never posted it on here, if i posted it in another form or just let it rot inside my head forever. so being on here in itself has shaped both me and my story a lot, and i thank you for that 💕

i tag @moonsyrups @bananahut @inquietant @dreambot and @astrasouls

[harryjamesheadcanons]

Quick introduction to my favorite, ridiculous, super #extra OC, Aaron Finch-Dursley. 

Aaron Finch is the Muggle older brother of Justin Finch-Fletchley. 

The brothers were really close as kids, though Aaron is two years older. Their parents divorced when the boys were six and four, and their mother was remarried by the next year. Their stepdad Alan Fletchley is a better dad than their own, so much so that he offers his last name to both boys to make it official. Justin, remembering less of their biological dad, adds it to his name. Aaron chooses not to, but still loves him as much as he loves their mom. 

Had Aaron attended Hogwarts, he would have been Sorted Hufflepuff before the hat even settled on his head. He’s kind, patient, and fair enough to rival Helga herself. 

It takes hard work and patience for Justin to be able to explain everything he experiences at Hogwarts and in the Wizarding World, but he is true, loyal, and unafraid of the toil of writing out long, detailed letters. It’s harder than one might think to contextualize everything about Hogwarts, to convey the scale of the moving staircases, the history and mentality of the House Elves, Dumbledore’s omniscience, the Transfiguration coursework. Understanding it all is hard sometimes even for Justin, who lives it every day, but all the same, it just doesn’t seem fair to keep Aaron out. The only time Aaron ever sees Hogwarts is during Justin’s second year, when the family is allowed to visit him in the hospital wing after he’d been Petrified. 

That’s when he suddenly gets it - understands why Justin loves this world so much, and is able to get a clearer picture in his head of what the life of a wizard is even like. 

He has a pretty normal Muggle upbringing, though admittedly he does spend it at Eton. He has a close-knit group of friends that he grows up with, and gets on with nearly everyone around him. He never focuses too much on the coursework, it seems secondary anyway. He befriends the friendless, protects the helpless, and somehow seems to remain on good terms with everyone. 

When he comes out as gay when he’s sixteen, not one person is surprised, but everyone is as accepting as he could have asked them to be. He takes to dating wizarding boys off from Hogwarts for the summers. Eaton is such a dreadfully small dating pool. 

When Justin comes back from his sixth year at Hogwarts, saying that he won’t be able to return the next year because of highly anti-muggleborn sentiments, Aaron is secretly - shamefully - a little bit relieved. It’s gotten more and more dangerous each year, and if the newspaper is to be believed, the ensuing year in full out war would be even worse. 

When a letter from a Muggleborn friend of Justin’s warns that members of Dumbledore’s Army are going to be hunted down more viciously than other Muggleborns, Justin decides to move to America rather than go into hiding. He has some friends help him put wards over their family home to keep their parents safe. 

Since he’s taking a gap year anyway, Aaron tags along. They get a flat in Boston with a couple of roommates - a set of American twins, one witch and one Muggle - and learn the Muggle and Wizarding area surrounding. 

Aaron enrolls in some classes, and does some volunteer work to figure out what he wants to do with the the rest of his life - and ends up settling on an education major. He’s always liked school and thinks sixth form might be ideal to teach - he’ll be able to do some good with kids that age, he decides. 

He decides to take his actual credits when they get home. Justin seems to think that the tension is going to break any week now, and he can give his all in the final battle and then return back to normal life and Hogwarts like he never left it. 

Eventually, he gets a letter from the Muggleborn kid he was Petrified with - Colin - saying that it’s going to happen in a matter of days. They return home, and Justin goes to fight. Aaron and his mother stay the entire night in the Three Broomsticks, under the care of Madame Rosmerta, with some other Muggles whose loved ones are in danger. It’s the worst night of either of their lives. 

But then the war is over, and Justin returns to Hogwarts - to the anxiety of the whole family. Aaron enrolls in university to work towards his teaching degree. Life settles back into what it used to be, even though he still feels stuck in an odd position on the fringes of wizarding society. 

One day, during a summer that feels particularly fortuitous with its Muggle and Muggleborn-friendly legislature and new Ministry programs, Justin drags Aaron to a shop in Diagon Alley. 

Aaron is a little overwhelmed by all the overt wizardingness of it all. He feels a little like he’s missing pieces he should know in order to exist comfortably in this spaces. “God,” he says to Justin, after nearly knocking over a display. “They shouldn’t let Muggles in here.” 

A low slow voice from behind him says, “You wanna say that again?” 

He turns. The guy is cute, smiling a little, and wearing a smock that matches the logo on the outside of the store.

Aaron backpedals frantically. “No no no, I mean - I’m not, I was being - I’m a Muggle.” 

The guy grins. “Yeah, I know. Me too. I heard you ask how many Knuts to a pound.” 

“And I suppose you know? Justin is bloody useless and couldn’t tell me.” 

“God, no. I wish we were using pounds. I promise I know less than your boyfriend does,” the guy says, a question in his voice. 

“My brother, actually,” Aaron corrects with a smile. 

“I’m, uh, Dudley.” 

“Aaron.” 

They learn each other slowly. Dudley is hesitant to show the parts of himself he’d been hiding since the beginning of the war, hesitant to open up about his past, hesitant to let himself be loved. Aaron, though, is patient. And loyal, when he learns the truth. 

They adapt to the two worlds together, living mostly Muggle, although Aaron does help Dudley reconnect with Harry after a few years. It’s rocky, but the fact that Ginny and Aaron become fast friends - and both really want their respective partners to have peace - really helps. 

Aaron finishes his degree, and lands a teaching position in a suburb of London. He enjoys his job teaching history and government, and tries to teach his students to view the world with fairness and patience. 

Dudley gets a data entry job at a firm partnered with Grunnings. 

They rent a little house together, with a garden for Dudley and a huge kitchen for Aaron. Justin, still healing and helping his friends heal, is in and out of their guest room for a number of years, still trying to get back on his wizarding feet and figure out where he fits in the new order of things. When he finally gets a job and his own appartment, Dudley helps Aaron throw a housewarming party for him and some old school friends. 

Aaron does most of the household chores, and most of the cooking - some of Dudley’s leftover spoiled child habits spill over into his adult life, after all - but he’s okay with it. It makes him feel in control of his life, quiet and safe and secure. 

They have their issues, of course: Dudley has food issues that never quite dissipate, and lots of leftover guilt from his childhood. He has some sort of crisis about every other week about whether he deserves this or that good thing. His testy relationship with his parents and his cousins cause unnecessary tension in their lives. Aaron has unrealistic expectations - he thinks life is beautiful and is very comfortable with his place in it, and gets a little uncomfortable when that belief is shaken. He takes on the problems of his friends and family, too, and doesn’t notice the amount of stress he puts on himself that way until it culminates in him blowing up. They work through these things, though, and they’re happy. 

Dudley proposes on the spot one night in their living when Aaron mentions wanting kids during a football match commercial. He hadn’t had a ring or a plan, but it worked out fine. Aaron said yes, and within a year, they were married in a little civil partnership ceremony in the Fletchley’s back garden. Petunia Dursley cried through the whole thing, Vernon Dursley harrumphed uncomfortably at their kiss, but Harry (and his friend Hermione, since Ginny was on off flying for her team) wished them well. As a joke, Aaron throws a bouquet off one of the tables. Justin’s friend Hannah catches it, and her date’s face turns crimson, making Aaron smile proudly.

Their surrogate, Jessica, is a dream, and Aaron’s life changes forever the first time he holds little Myna Jean Dursley in his arms. He cannot imagine, in that moment, ever doing anything besides that, besides holding his daughter and watching her breathe. The feeling isn’t any less strong a year and a half later when he holds Rhea for the first time, although he’s wiser now, and knows the road he has ahead of him. 

Fatherhood suits him quite nicely, him and Dudley both, and their little family is just about as happy as can be. 

There more to him, of course, and I’m probably going to start mentioning him on this blog fairly regularly, but I’ll link back to this post so people don’t think they’ve forgotten about a canon character, haha. If you’re wondering about a visual, Ross Marquand is a great face-cast.