#i cope with grief actually by completely mentally banishing all memory of thought of the topic into a dissociation mode around it and
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sometimes i have to stop myself from retelling other peoples funny stories because they live so fondly in my own memory
#george foreman closet story comes to mind any time someone mentions george foreman and i smile and have to not laugh#because george foreman alone isnt supposed to be funny but in my mind its permanently tied to that story and that story always make me laugh#just like when someone brings up DBZ and i fondly remember someone on too much cough syrup telling me they totally understand goku and#can relate to him entirely#fond memories are such a blessing to have and to hold on to lmao#funny stories with and from friends are everything#or walking into the door story with the now ex marine#or the amount of butter in scrambled eggs that makes it good that someone showed me in a dark time#things that stay with me til this day like how much butter goes in eggs is influenced by one person and texture by another and so on#i am a collection of imprints of love in action love as a verb#taking the love and integrating it into my own behavior in a way because love changes you#fond memories and stories are little tokens of love left over#too much death lately making me softer about whats left#i cope with grief actually by completely mentally banishing all memory of thought of the topic into a dissociation mode around it and#its something im actually trying to engage with differently because it doesnt let me have the happier memories either and#the people deserve to be remembered not just the little ways i carry them on through what i picked up from them
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