#taking the love and integrating it into my own behavior in a way because love changes you

[adlibitur]

sometimes i have to stop myself from retelling other peoples funny stories because they live so fondly in my own memory

[eyeheartboobiez]

bruce wayne x gn!reader

a/n: I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG PLSSS😭 i really only planned for this to be a couple of hundred words but it ended up being a couple of thousand lmao but i hope you like it🫶🏿

summary: you’ve been stressing yourself over a case at work, leaving your loving husband home alone. luckily, he knows just the thing to help you wind down.

wc: 2.4K

warnings: smut, barely proof read..

Just when you think you've gotten a step closer, you end up taking two steps back.

For hours now, you've been stuck at work, desperately trying to break what may just be the toughest case of your career. The only light illuminating the room was the lamp positioned at your desk, as the office was completely void of life – aside from you of course.

You were supposed to be back home hours ago, yet the pile of reports stacked in front of you was nowhere near finished. The forensic evidence wasn’t matching up with the alleged suspect, and the words on the paper before you got blurrier by the second.

Rubbing at your eyes, you let out a heavy sigh, coming to the devastating conclusion that you wouldn’t be able to solve this on your own. While integrity was one of the most essential parts of the job, a little help from a certain someone couldn’t hurt, right?

However, before you could pick up the phone and call your beloved Bruce, a knock was heard at the door. Who the hell could be here at this time of night? Despite your immense fatigue, you were sure your body couldn’t have gone to the point of hallucinating.

Well you weren’t imaging things, because lo and behold was all six feet and two inches of your husband standing at the entrance.

“You missed dinner, you know.” he said, arms crossed and leaning against the doorway.

He made his way towards your desk, his strides slow but formulated as always. The way he stalked towards you had the likeliness of a predator shadowing its prey. Somehow, the darkness of the room became even dimmer.

You weren’t scared though. Nervous, maybe, but this was your husband after all.

As much as he likes to parade the streets striking fear into the villains of Gotham, you know he was a sweetheart at the end of the day. However, if he couldn’t stand you staying late at work for one night, then he’d just have suck it up and deal with it.

“I know baby, but really, I have to get this done tonight.” you sighed, refusing to go down without a fight.

Stressed enough as is, you really weren’t in the mood to deal with Bruce’s antics right now. Closing your eyes, you put your head down on the pile of papers in front of you, hoping to subdue your worsening headache.

“Alfred even made your favorite.” A pair of large hands found themselves at your shoulders, “He was disappointed when you weren’t at the table, love.”

His digits kneaded at your traps, skillfully working their way into all the knots of the muscle. “C’mon darling, let’s get you back home and fed, ‘kay?”

You let out a deep groan, the tension in your shoulders had dissolved in an instant. Oh you already knew where this was going. 

You see, Bruce was a master at the art of persuasion, as if he had the secret ability to make anyone and everyone bend at his will. It was a power that even your eldest son Dick had picked up (to both your delight and disdain).

While you’d usually fall victim to his schemes, now was not one of those times. You were determined to wrap this case up, even if you passed out in the process.

Noticing your stubborn behavior, the dark knight leaned down and began nipping at your ear, “Damian was even hoping you’d make it back in time to say goodnight to him, you know.”

It was a compelling argument, you’ll give him that, but still you refused to submit to his tactics. 

Your eyebrows furrowed as you started to get irritated. Why was it so hard for him to understand you were busy? 

“Bruce, seriously, cut it out. I gotta stay here and work my way through this evidence.” Lightly shoving him off, you picked up your pen and went back to sorting out the documents before you. Although the break was much appreciated, Bruce was proving to be no help at all.

Hoping he’d actually listened to you this time around, you jokingly made a last remark, “Since Alfred cooked too much tonight, how about you show me how much you love me and go grab me a plate.”

“How about I show you how much I love you right now.”

Before you could even question it, Bruce’s lips found themselves back at your earlobe. Except this time, his small pecks quickly transformed into open mouthed kisses.

His fingers went back to rubbing your shoulders, his workmanship more intense than ever. His fingers stealthily trailed up to your throat, squeezing at the area.

As you felt the pressure increase more and more, you finally became aware of what was happening. This entire time, he had been shadowing you like a wild animal.

And now he was ready to pounce.

“I see how stressed you’ve been recently,” He murmured against your skin, “Do you think I like seeing you exhausted like this, sweetheart?”

Eyes closed, you could do nothing but focus on how he sounds, how he feels. Your chest felt heavy, your mind felt hazy, and you couldn’t seem to get the words out to respond.

“Don’t know how to speak when your husband is talking to you? Guess you must be more tired than I thought.”

“No, Bruce I— ahh!”

Your voice was cut off as his hands began fondling your nipples, the hem of your shirt bunched up at your chest.

“Y’know how much I miss you on nights like this?” he spoke up again, leaving wet, languid kisses along your nape. 

“Waiting on our couch, laying without you in our bed, aching for you. Do you actually like leaving me alone like this?”

Your chest heaved at the thought, has he always been this desperate for you? As he continued to ravish you below the chin, your head moved against his lips, mimicking the harsh circular motions of an ocean wave.

Feeling his hand trail lower and lower, your breaths became more and more shallow. Case work be damned, you’d be an idiot to go back to working at a time like this.

“Bruce, this investigation was really important.” You mewed, “I’m sorry, baby.”

“If that’s the case, I think I deserve a little something in return, hm? Lemme look after you, angel.”

With that, you were pulled out of your chair and immediately brought to your feet. Strong thighs pressed themselves firmly against your bottom, leaving Bruce towering over you. 

His dominating aura was overpowering, and you were left heaving at the thought of all the ways he could take you, all the ways he could claim you.

All at once, he skillfully moved to pull at both your trousers and undergarments, leaving them pooling at your ankles. “Open your legs for me, love. I wanna see you.”

In all your glory there you were, lying chest down against your desk, pants to the floor, with your beloved husband practically rutting into you from behind.

You habitually arched your back, aching to be filled. Bruce sighed in pleasure, stepping back to take a look at his beloved spouse. Just the sight of you like this damn near made him go crazy.

His hands circled our waist, thumbs thoroughly messaging the small of your back, “I jus’ wanna help you out, baby. Would you like that? Hm? For me to fuck the stress out of you?”

“Yes Sir! Anything you want from me.”

As soon as the bedroom name hit his ears, Bruce let out an audible groan. As many cases you’ve solved in your career, you still didn’t have a single clue of the things you do to him.

Emphatically pulling at his belt, Bruce frantically released his throbbing member from his slacks. Violently spitting in his hand, he began stroking his arousal, lining it up with your tight opening.

He teased his cockhead around the swollen area, his pre-cum painting the heat between your legs. It was as though he was playing with you, as if you were some toy solely meant for his leisure.

Finally, after edging you for what felt like forever, he finally plunged inside of you. His sex speared into you with unrelenting vigor. Slowly, his shaft inched its way inside.

“‘M gonna fuck you so good that you wont be able to get up for work tomorrow,” his husky voice was leaving you in a trance, “Would you like that, angel? For this cock to take all your worries away?”

“Mhm, please sir,” your wanton moans were like music to his ears, as if the pearly gates of heaven were calling his name.

At your request, Bruce’s demeanor did a complete 180. His unrushed pace being switched out for something much more barbaric. Wet smacks could be heard throughout the room as his hips jerked into your swollen entrance.

The table shook at the force of his thrusts, leaving your pencil case to fall as a result. Papers were scattered about, some even sticking to the dampness of your skin. Your hands went to grip the edge of your desk, looking for something, anything to keep you stabilized.

“This is what you’ve been missing out on,” Bruce heaved, “This is what you could’ve had all those nights you decided to stay here and work.”

You practically begged him to slow down, the abuse to your hole was getting to be exhausting, “Bruce, mmn— ‘s too much.”

But your pleas fell on deaf ears, as his girth did nothing but continue its relentless assault. Your moans started to match his movements, pitch getting higher with each thrust.

“Shittt,” the hero groaned, “You're doing so good for me, sweetheart. Jus’ be good and lay there for me.”

His words were lulling you to sleep, that deep, velvety voice paired with his raspy grunts were more than soothing. Your lids started to get heavier by the second, you knew you were close. Any more of this and you were sure to tap out.

Your cheek was pressed against the surface below you. Eyes rolled so far back, it seemed like you could take a peek of your brain if you tried hard enough. It felt like your soul momentarily left your body as you started convulsing below him.

“Sir ‘m gonna, fuckkk, I’m coming!”

“There you go, love. Ease into it for me.” Although you were well over your limit, Bruce’s movements were still as vigorous as ever. 

You could tell he was close. As his thrusts got sloppier, your hips dug further into the edge of the desk, leaving marks along the surrounding skin.

“Broosh, please, I can’t ‘nymore. ‘M tired baby.” you babbled. Your barely formed words were only proof of how your consciousness was holding on by a thread.

“Shhhh. Just let me put you to rest, angel. Let your husband take care of you t’night.” Bruce’s cock throbbed, the thick appendage desperately looking for release.

Your entire body was limp by now, overstimulated beyond belief. It didn't even register how lifeless your legs were until you felt two arms scoop you up, hugging your midriff. You could just imagine how insane the scene must have looked, two grown adults humping over a table like a pair of wild dogs.

Eyes shut, you were nearly asleep at this point, the only sign of life from you were the light whimpers slipping past your plump lips. Your only purpose by now was to let your husband use you as he pleased, like some ragdoll.

Bruce couldn’t take it anymore. His movements stuttered as his senses came to a peak, “Mmm s-shit Y/N, just stay right there for me sweetheart, I got you.”

Once again, your insides fluttered as cum coated your heat. You felt his weight collapse on top of you as he tried to collect himself. Feeling him pull out, the thick, white liquid painted your skin as your hole throbbed from the aftershocks. 

Bruce’s member continued to pulsate, airy ‘ahs’ nd ‘mhms’ could be heard throughout the room. Bringing you down from you high, you heard a voice speak up from behind you, “You okay, darling? I wasn’t too rough, was I?”

“Mm-mm,” you rumbled, not having the energy to give a real response. 

“Don’t give out on me yet, angel,” affectionately rubbing at your exposed skin, Bruce moved to tidy you up, “Let’s get you dressed so we can go home alright?”

Grabbing some spare napkins from a nearby tissue box, your doting husband wiped you down. He made sure to clean up every ounce of the thick cream dripping down your thighs.

Kneeling down, he moved to pull up your trousers, softly kissing the expanse of your legs along the way. You could barely react to his touch considering how spent you were.

As you wobbly stood to your feet, Bruce quickly went to pick you up bridal style, your head slugging against his firm chest.

Honestly, you should have known you would end up in this position the second he walked through the door.  As resistant as you were in the beginning, you can help but feel appreciative of Bruce’s actions, the love you have for him growing by the minute.

Unbeknownst to you, however, there was a reason your husband decided to surprise you tonight.

The case you had been working on, well there was a reason the forensic reports weren’t matching up. There had been a new villain roaming the streets of Gotham, and while Bruce didn’t know who he was yet, he knew he was more than dangerous.

As he placed you in the passenger’s seat, Bruce’s mind traveled to all the innocent lives that had been taken by the hands of this corrupt individual. He surely wouldn’t be able to live with himself if you ended up one of them.

Although he admired your determination, the dark knight knew better than to allow the love of his life to follow a path of such evil. 

So if this little “distraction” was the only way to throw you off their trail, then so be it.

a/n: feedback is always welcome and reblogs are always appreciated!! ilyyy

[yangsharperavery]

my carmy/sydney related thoughts on season 2

i think when digesting this show, it's done more easily when we see who carmy and sydney are as people and how they bring that beingness to their dynamic.

it's interesting to see the takes from people who are troubled by what they saw in this season in terms of their relationship.

i personally thought there was so much fascinating groundwork that was laid.

we knew when molly gordon was cast they were likely trying to introduce a love interest for carmy.

i was not shocked, i was not surprised. i literally expected it.

doesn't mean i wasn't rolling my eyes but i was well aware of what function she would play within the narrative.

but the writing is so sharp that there are a million subtle elements of carmy's character, and what we know about him up to this point, including what was illuminated by the christmas episode.

let's first talk about carmy's choices and behavior where it relates to claire vs sydney and the restaurant.

we know that carmy is awkward, isn't incredibly relationally experienced and has sacrificed everything for his career and specific level of skill.

he'd just been ruminating on expanding his experiences as expressed in the al-anon meeting.

we know this man is intensely grief-stricken and also that he's battling his own mental health.

we also know he's literally been bred from chaos and emotional tumult.

even him not going to his own brother's funeral makes so much sense after that christmas episode.

he couldn't stand to witness what that type of grief had done to his already deteriorating mother.

so he's trying to conceptualize fun.

notice he wasn't trying to conceptualize love or relationships or a partner.

it was literally presented and integrated as fun.

so he runs into this girl he used to a have a crush on and even then, he's not sold because he knows himself, he knows his priorities, his propensities toward self sabotage, etc so he gives her a wrong number.

yet she persists.

so to me, this may seem like a sign to him to give this a chance, do some exterior exploration of something outside of the kitchen and outside of his career and outside of his own neurosis.

so he's just going with the flow. trying to be "normal". not really knowing the content or context of anything. another reason why he wasn't even calling claire his girlfriend.

claire even brings up the fact that they'd hung out so much but didn't actually talk.

which is SPOT on because the audience only actually ever sees them talking about their careers or what they were like as kids/teenagers.

but you know who carmy DOES talk to? hmm, more on that later.

so claire is symbolic of this thing that was pleasant when he was younger, when he was less of this grown conglomerate of anxiety and disarray and sorrow. a part of him that's separate from all of his current worry and fixations and dysregulation.

him saying he loves her so much and that he thinks she's so great actually rings hollow because we, the audience, didn't actually get to see when and where that level of specific emotion or intensity occurred.

so off rip i don't believe him. i don't think about it in the context of if or when he and sydney explore anything, because it feels patently untrue to me.

and completely separate from sydney.

it's not earned. it's not rooted. it's not tacitly valid.

it's fine. it's a good time. it's some laughs and conversation and sex and a nice, normal person he has fond, nostalgic memories of.

and i think it's written that way on purpose!

so him professing this to other people feels like this way to continue digging a hole of his own distraction, his absence, his lack of attention to detail.

i completely understand the frustration that many feel about interpreting this like carmy was essentially choosing claire over sydney.

carmy was trying to have an unfamiliar and different experience and didn't have the depth perception, the self awareness and the internal regulation to recognize he was doing it to the detriment of something so deeply and irrevocably important to him.

as soon as sydney brought it up, he got defensive but then moments later recognized his errors and apologized.

she told him she didn't want to share his attention.

he told her she was absolutely correct and that she deserved his full focus.

what's fascinating about this part is they aren't even explicitly talking about the restaurant.

she says "me" and "i", he says "you".

uh. wow.

now even in the context of JUST the restaurant this is saying ALOT here.

him instantly apologizing and agreeing with her requests means a substantial amount.

carmy isn't an ass because he stood sydney up for the palate cleanser. or even because he went absent when he shouldn't have.

carmy is deeply troubled and wounded and suffering and he was grappling for something else to feel or do or think about besides what he's ALWAYS thought about and done and fixated on.

that's why he's unreliable, that's why he's haphazard and emotionally or energetically messy. he's coping.

that's why he knows he makes mistakes all the time. because he feels like he's a screwup in a lot of specific ways in his life so he's used to it.

he's not being malicious or cruel or even unkind to sydney.

and this isn't an excuse. it's a reason. it's what all the information we have about him up to this point is providing us.

and yes, his timing is godawful.

but he trusts this person so implicitly because he knows how talented and capable she is.

carmy does not know HOW to be a partner, of any kind. where would he have learned that? where would that have been modeled for him?

"this is what you wanted originally and i'm giving it to you."

so let's transpose the way carmy and claire are presented with how carmy and sydney are together.

he literally can't WAIT to hear what sydney has to say. about literally anything.

at any given time.

"say more please."

all he wants to do is listen to her talk. he wants to know everything about her. the personal stuff too, almost especially.

he listens to her so closely. in the first or second episode she loses her train of thought and he repeats everything she just said.

i don't even think it was restaurant related.

he brings up her mother not once, but twice.

he feels like he should have known that sydney lost her.

he wants to pour into and believe in her because he does. he already does.

he's ready to apologize to her because he knows what a mess he can be and often is.

he knows what his anger can do. he knows how he was conditioned and raised in the industry and he doesn't want that at all for her, least of all from him.

especially after she walked out last season.

he's hyperaware of it. he calms down instantly both times she does the sign for sorry that HE taught her.

he has this propulsion to NEED to know what's happening with her in the very moment something occurs.

he did it last season when she quit on the spot and he kept trying to talk to her when she was leaving.

he did it this season when she was frustrated and trying to say goodnight after carmy was actively telling everyone goodnight and to go home, yet he tried to talk to her when she was leaving.

"what?"

"i'm saying goodnight."

he was repeatedly ushering everyone out but because of the look on her face, carmy's like wait, "what's that about, what's happening?"

he can't stand it!

same with them outside last season when he brought her food and asked what was wrong.

if something is up with her, he reacts immediately.

if she's peeved, he wants to know why right away, he wants to know what to do to make it better, how to approach it, what to say, he goes out in search of that information in the moment it's happening.

sydney is his soft place.

he feels very anchored and tethered to her and i believe she feels the same with him.

sydney is his respite. his peace. the thought of her literally calms and stills him.

her being energetically seats him.

we saw it penetrate his seismic and consistent panic in real time.

that was clearly displayed for all of us to witness.

he doesn't want to be cruel or unkind or anything other than present and communicative with her.

i'd venture to say he actually doesn't want anything more than that, besides maybe the restaurant to succeed.

now sydney is in her "i have something to prove" era.

she is so driven and so determined but she's also a realist and is inundated and surrounded by all this proof that what she's doing may be foolhardy.

at the very least, it's incredibly risky. it's a jump.

and someone deeply ambitious and creative and tuned in and focused like sydney has such fear of failure.

because she knows what it often means for someone like her.

that's why she overextends herself so continuously.

she's often had to and she thinks it gets her closer to the opposite of failure.

she was not only aware of the gaps carmy's absence was leaving but also planning this tasting menu with a MILLION things on it because something was gonna be the star because it MUST.

and i think the carmy absence flares a bit of abandonment as well, like he's left her in a lurch.

she has feelings about that.

she finds out why he did, and TRIES not to have feelings about that.

that's confusing and she's already beyond stressed out so she tries to stuff it.

her success is so tied to her identity because she's worked so hard to get where she is and still feels like she's not where she wants to be.

so she wrestles with worthiness and worry and the financial climate of affability for restaurants. she's riddled with what if she can't hack it?

she has evidence of that being true in the past.

she has evidence of her past failures and those are what keep her up at night, not the infinite possibilities of her future successes.

and that's also why she picked carmy.

because she was always going to pick the best.

she was always going to follow the career and moves of the standout in the industry.

of the person that made the best meal she's ever had.

so if he's anal retentive or jumpy or doesn't call about changing the structural elements of their restaurant while it's happening, she deals with it because she picked him.

she chose him. and then he chose her.

(and then she lightweight chose him again when she came back)

so that's why when they're talking he so often checks in by looking her in the face, scanning her expression. he instantly picks up on something being off or wrong or him being "shitty".

or why when they're under a damn table, despite being peeved or annoyed with his disappearing acts, she lets out the most vulnerable, softest admissions about the perceived necessity of her contribution and future failure.

or why he responds with "i couldn't do it without you" so instantly, so rapidly, it's like it's etched in him. that's the quickest response he'd given to anything she said to him the entire season, she barely got the words fully out before he was verbally soothing her.

then he STAMPS this by saying "i wouldn't WANT to do this without you."

there was such an unexpectedly, viscerally aching quality to that exchange.

it's honestly searing.

i'm sorry are these wedding vows or are we talking about opening a damn restaurant?

or the way he says "you love taking care of people" to her when she talks about making sugar food.

that's also a stellar mirrored moment because i've seen a few people, i believe @eatandsleepwell is one, talk a lot about how that's one of carmy's main drivers and internal tenants.

they see so much of themselves in each other.

the buried parts, the unknown parts, the odd parts.

the parts they wanna work on. the parts they wanna exalt.

they are so similar. they are also quite different.

they have reflected one another in the narrative since s1 ep1.

they exist so flawlessly within the others interstices.

she wordlessly hands him pepto for his stomach.

he tells her he won't let her fail.

the pulsing undercurrent of sydney and carmy is pretty fucking palpable.

there's people on social media who weren't convinced or didn't ship them last season that have suddenly completely seen the vision.

whether the writers actually go there or not remains to be seen.

i don't necessarily trust that they will or won't to be honest because i know there are so many moving pieces and variables and factors.

ships get bypassed and messed up all the time.

i don't watch any shows for ship guarantees but i know how writer's rooms work.

i'd venture to bet that at least 1/3 of that room DOES have an interest in seeing something happen between carmy and sydney, (maybe even 1/2).

or at the very least the option to have it explored.

different people write different episodes, the showrunner/creator can scratch or add whatever.

scripts are TIRELESSLY edited and shortened.

yet there is alot that makes the final cut that points to the potent carmy and sydney marrow.

him giving her the captain reigns before they served for the first time, her saying 'let it rip'.

to me, sydney walked into that failing sandwich shop with a mission that day, they locked eyes and immediately fused.

something happened to the both of them in that moment and they largely don't even realize or can adequately reckon with its magnitude yet.

[bonefall]

Not sure if this is the place to ask or if I should go to Bonebabble, but ooh, Dungeon Meshi mention! I love what you said about low-empathy and apathy, I think I’ll use that in ny own characters.

I wanted to ask why you think Shuro is autistic. I’ve seen a lot of people say it so there must be a reason why, but I don’t think it’s really obvious to me? Like with Laios, autism/neurodivergence is so integral to his story, so it’s deeply obvious. I love the way he’s written! But we don’t see a lot of Shuro, so I’d like to hear more of why people see the tism in him.

@bonebabbles is the better place to send these in the future but it's chill! The vibe right now's loose since we're all coming down from the heaviness of Mooncourse lmao

Honestly, I feel a little 'tism in a lot of the cast of Dungeon Meshi. As a very autistic writer myself, it kind of has a vibe like it was written by someone who's autistic and so it gets peppered into all of her characters. It's something I notice a lot in my own art, too.

But like, when it comes to Toshiro... I can't stop thinking about him. He makes me want to chew the furniture. With every passing day I become less normal about him.

glossary because I had a lot of thoughts about Toshiro Dungeon Meshi i guess. Oh my god this got long

He reminds me of some people I know

His culture clash is very relatable to me in an autistic way

He has a rigid commitment to his values and morals

Miscellaneous Autism Moments

THE LAIOS FIGHT

in conclusion

He reminds me of some people I know

He reminds me of certain autistic men I've met from affluent families. The type who both is taught to repress and mask their own traits, yet also not to be incredibly mindful of the emotions of other people. Because of their status, they don't have to learn how to work out interpersonal conflict because the majority of the people around them are servants or family. People who would never go away if they didn't like you.

So, his vassals have to learn to talk to him and how to carry out his orders. Not the other way around. As a result, Toshiro has a bit of unearned confidence about his leadership abilities and communication skills. NOT in a way that is smug, DO NOT misunderstand me; just in a way that overestimates his own judgement. Maybe he has encyclopedic knowledge for talking to other nobles offscreen, but when it came to his own team, he was ignoring a lot of the good advice they gave him about taking breaks.

Yes, Toshiro is from a high-context culture-- but his communication issues are bad with everyone.

ESPECIALLY his vassals, people he calls family, from the same exact culture as him. They're worried about him, most of them are desperate for acknowledgement, they'd do anything for him, and he doesn't address this until AFTER his brawl with Laios!

His culture clash is very relatable to me in an autistic way

Toshiro knew he was going somewhere that was going to be a melting pot of mostly western cultures. He knew the manners were going to be different, and he came alone, not in a group where he was only interacting with his own people.

Yet he NEVER adjusted his own social behavior.

I'm American and my partner is British. When I first went, I had no idea why they were offering me so much tea. I thought I was being polite by following them into the kitchen, thinking they wanted to move the conversation over there. My partner quickly fixed this by explaining that when someone offers you tea, they're taking a short pause in the lull of a conversation to be a good host.

I am autistic. What someone else might have just figured out through getting an awkward look, I had to be told directly. There are a lot of little things like that.

Toshiro feels like what would happen if the opposite was happening, an autistic person from a high-context culture coming to a low-context culture. He can't properly express discomfort. It's not JUST Laios, King of Autism, that he's having issues talking to. Neither Marcille nor Chilchuck know that "Shuro" is a mispronunciation, and they had no clue that he disliked Laios THIS much.

I even think it's kinda telling that Toshiro felt the most comfortable with Falin out of the rest of the party. The hyper-empathetic autistic girl who goes out of her way to accommodate others.

He has a rigid commitment to his values and morals

A strict, uncompromising moral compass is a hallmark of autism. It's everything Toshiro does!!

When Falin was eaten, he bolted off to assemble the best team he could think of. He believes that love is sacrifice, so he pushes his body and his family to the limit to try and prove how much he loves Falin. Chilchuck freaks out when he finds out that Laios told him about the dark magic, because "HE'S THE WORST PERSON TO TELL!"

LIKE, YEAH! HE SURE IS!

Maizuru also explains that from a very young age, he's been incredibly compliant. He never asks for anything, he's always been a bit sickly and uninterested in eating. He always tries to be on his very best behavior, even if that means not asking for accommodations he might actually need.

In fact, the only food he seems to LIKE eating is what Maizuru makes him. To the point where she ended up getting pulled into the kitchen even when she was on a "mission." Senshi makes a cute comment that it's "love" that Maizuru puts into those meals, but... what if it's actually because she knows the textures and flavors he likes?

Miscellaneous Autism Moments

There's so many little moments that are so incredibly autistic to me.

He sees Falin with a bug and he proposes right on the spot. The other characters are like, "oh that's just how they act in the east" but no the fuck it is not. They don't even know "Shuro" is a mispronunciation, how the hell do they know anything about eastern courting traditions?

I know EXACTLY what happened. I'm beaming you this information directly from the truth.

Toshiro was TOLD that you're supposed to 1. make your proposals a surprise, and 2. you will know the right one when you see them, and NO ONE elaborated any further because he comes from a high context culture. He popped that question the first time both of those boxes were ticked off.

In coming from a high context culture, what he does is strictly follow rules and conditions he was taught.

And that's absolutely why he handed Laios that bell. Because he does care about him and the party, and he's taught that doing these acts of service is a show of that... and he didn't even think ahead to the fact the bell was going to be ringing constantly.

And yet. In spite of that, he ALWAYS keeps it near him.

Before it clicked and I realized why, I used to think Toshiro was kind of an asshole for running off to get his vassals without even telling Marcille and Laios about his plan. Like... how could you not know they were going to do something drastic? The three of them were the Falin Fan Club and he was the most normal member of it. It's so obvious to me that Laios (brother) and Marcille (""Gal Pal"") were going to get themselves in danger.

So how could you just run off like that without telling them? Even if lack of supplies meant they couldn't go back in, how could you just leave them worried sick in the town, thinking you abandoned Falin?

And then it hit me. The man just has low empathy.

There WAS no malice, just like how there wasn't malice in how he was pushing him and his vassals to the limits, just like how there was never malice against Laios. It simply didn't occur to him like that.

He's never been taught to consider the thoughts and feelings of others very deeply and they don't come naturally. He's still compassionate. There's a reason all of his vassals love him!

But THAT'S WHY he never put himself in Laios' shoes, or anyone else's. Empathy does not come naturally to him. All of his good behavior is as a result of his moral code, NOT empathy.

So with that said, why does he love Falin so much? Aside from the wonderful, positive traits he lists when he's asked? I mean, what's really deep down at the core of why he finds these things so lovely?

Well... Falin and Laios are not all that different from each other, to the point where Toshiro gets gently ribbed in a bonus chapter about how if one of them was a girl, Shuro might have loved Laios instead. He waxes poetic about the ways she's different from most women, how she's not afraid of things like insects, her compassion, her face, her laugh.

These are all things Laios does too (in fact in one of the panels where Toshiro is appreciating Falin, she's trying to check if a caterpillar is a male or female), but Falin's personality expresses in a more subdued and introverted way. Closer to how Toshiro is, as a person. So... I think it's because he relates to her.

To both Touden siblings. But Laios makes him see things he doesn't want to.

THE LAIOS FIGHT

We established that Toshiro has a strict commitment to his values, he probably has low empathy, and even taking his cultural differences into account he's bad at communicating.

So then, why was one of his complaints against Laios' obliviousness that he "knows he doesn't mean anything by it, and that makes it worse"? Isn't that kinda specific when you think about it?

If you're neurodivergent, I want you to think back to points in time where you dealt with people who have the same issues you do. Autism, ADHD, PTSD, DID, whatever. Did you ever have a moment where they did something harmless or mildly inconvenient, definitely as a result of the same exact thing you have, and you just... HATED it?

You HATED it even more than you would anyone else doing the same thing. You probably know your response was disproportionate. But YOU don't do that THING they did. Or if you do that, it's less bad somehow. Or you used to do that but don't anymore and it reminds you of when you did.

If you're reflective, you might have realized it might be internalized ableism. I feel like that's a huge part of why Toshiro finds Laios SO. ANNOYING. Laios is like this stupid, idiot, blundering caricature of things Toshiro has been taught to avoid, which violate his moral code. Shuro comes from a place of so many more rules and subtle cues, and it's like Laios doesn't respect any of them.

What STARTS this fight, causes Laios to finally hit back after being smacked, shoved, and shouted at, is being told "YOU'RE NOT TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY."

It's so obviously wrong! Laios, who ran back into a dungeon immediately? Who Toshiro himself called rash? This is NOT a logical conclusion to make about Laios or his party. I think it came from frustration that Laios "does things the wrong way." That it's projection, stemming from that low empathy.

He's not like Kabru in the same chapter, who's desperately trying to get a read on Laios' inner workings and failing. Shuro's just extrapolating his own feelings onto him, because he's recognizing that same "sense" within him. If TOSHIRO didn't follow the rules he sets down for himself, that's not "taking it seriously."

Toshiro follows the rules. Laios does not.

...and Laios is FREE.

He's open and honest in a way Toshiro can never be, not as a noble, not as an easterner, and not as an autistic man. Hell, Laios was ALSO a noble, he gave that up! Threw that away, and then came back to his village and took Falin away from it. If Laios is acting like an idiot, he's acting like an idiot who does everything Toshiro has ever wanted to do. Laios cannot mask and Toshiro resents that.

One of the things Toshiro even explicitly says he HATES about Laios is the fact he's willing to be a burden on other people. Maizuru said earlier that he's NEVER made a "selfish request" before-- but Laios can just open his mouth and ask for help, feeling no shame, just as he did in this chapter when he asked him not to tell the Island Lord about the dark magic.

And then, after they literally come to blows, Toshiro tells Laios some incredibly brutal things, revealing he's NEVER been his friend and he has resented him this whole time. This actually sits with Laios well into the later chapters, but the fight ends and then they're just CHATTING FRIENDLY LIKE IT DIDN'T MATTER.

More honestly than ever before, because Toshiro is returning the effort. He eats some food (the narrative's metaphor for making connections). He thanks his vassals for the first time. He talks about how he wishes he'd told Falin about all the things he adored about her when he still had the chance.

I have to take the panels of his response right out of the manga actually because this little expression here is so subtle, but so meaningful.

(Read <- <- <- that way)

Look at the way that when Laios makes that genuine movement, assuring him with passion that he will be making sure Falin receives this message, Toshiro's gut response is annoyance. But then it softens and he pauses, like he's reconsidering what his response is going to be.

To admit that he envies "this side of Laios" is also admitting that the earlier fight was based on envy.

Laios was like this the WHOLE time. Making these grand speeches about his plans, what his party's been doing, how Toshiro needs to eat something and take a nap. He's ALWAYS been like this. It was Toshiro's mindset that changed.

In conclusion

Something I really like about Dungeon Meshi is HOW MANY of its characters can be read as autistic. Laios is just the most obvious one, with his special interest in monsters and inability to read social cues being central to the plot. His is a more "well known" expression of autism-- it's rare you get characters whose masking is central to their characters.

But it's really refreshing to see characters like Kabru, Falin, and Toshiro. Autistic people are rare enough in popular media to begin with, but we NEVER get characters whose autism intersects with their trauma, gender, and culture quite like these three.

[karasbroken]

This tiny moment is one that I completely misinterpreted for the first decade or more and I still don't know exactly what I think but I'm going to ramble anyway. I played with filters to make the tie more obvious, because for the longest time, I thought Moya John threw scissors and Talyn John threw rock.

And that makes sense, right? They had two different experiences while they were parted for several months, and that made them into two different people. He talks later to Aeryn about not being the same person, and that her feelings, "you're just like him, you are him" are wrong. So I never questioned when my dark DVDs and fuzzy TV made it look like they tied.

But then I saw the 4k versions, and I was watching on a good screen and I could slow it down and pause and replay, and nope! They are both clearly throwing scissors. And the whole beautiful symbolism falls apart. Why did they tie? Does that actually mean they are the same person? Why doesn't John or Aeryn truly seem to believe that?

Everyone will have their own opinions, but how I think about it now is that this was a promise from Talyn John to Moya John. Yes, they had different experiences. Yes, that means they diverged. Yes, being with Aeryn changed Talyn John in ways Moya John couldn't (yet) understand. Talyn John feels older, calmer, more settled and mature in a rather dramatic way to me. But the tie is a reassurance that they are still both John. That they can be made whole. That the core of who he is, the man that loves Aeryn and controls wormholes is still capable of being loved by Aeryn (and learning to control wormholes). It will just take time.

We aren't wholly our memories and experiences. Which is reassuring to me, as a person who struggles with long-term memory formation.

John was twinned. "Equal and original." They are both him. They were always both him, even if he doesn't remember what the other twin experienced (yet). Moya John and Aeryn both struggle to believe this, though, for similar but related reasons.

Aeryn can't believe that he is actually John because she is terrified of loving him. She isn't mentally strong enough (yet) to survive his loss again and she knows that John is about to throw them all into terrible danger. She tries to convince herself that he's just a copy because she has to for her own sanity (but ultimately, eventually, she gives in. He is John, she does love him, and she can't won't stop herself from wanting to be with him).

Moya John can't accept that he is the same as Talyn John because it's just too psychologically weird. He was in two bodies having two different lives, and the whole time he knew, he deeply knew that the other guy was with Aeryn. Because he would have upended the universe to make it happen with her, so of course he did. A lot of Moya John's irresponsible and annoying behavior can be explained by the constant maddening awareness that his life was in the middle of being stolen by himself. For his sanity he has to create some sort of mental accommodation to survive being twinned, and turning the other guy into The Other is how he manages it. And then the Other is gone and now he's on this long journey to recombine his two selves.

I think the tie is a promise that they haven't diverged too far. That they're still both him. John doesn't realize it yet, but he is already starting to reintegrate his two selves. We will see him eventually, slowly, recover all the memories and knowledge that Talyn John possessed, he will even join together with him physically (it's not a coincidence that he injured his head in the same place, leaving the same scar, when Einstein unlocks the wormhole knowledge). Only when his integration is complete can he fully move on, marry Aeryn, have their child, and move forward to the next stage of their singular destiny.

That unification is something John can't even imagine in this moment. But the tie, that's hope.

[leandra-winchester]

On Oliver's social media behavior regarding Bucktommy vs. Buddie

Kind of in line with many of the good points raised by @bbbuckaroo in this ask response, but I wanted to make my own post about it.

I, too, have seen posts that prompted this ask - from more well-meaning people remarking that Oliver could/should maybe say something against the toxic Buddie shippers and promote Bucktommy more, to more critical voices saying he's essentially ship-baiting with Buddie because he keeps posting about them.

As the referenced post says, Oliver "knows how important and pivotal the Buddie FRIENDSHIP is".

So let's look at that from Oliver's (and in connection also Ryan's) point of view for a moment here.

You're an actor who's been playing one half of what is one of the most integral relationships on a very successful show. That relationship has textually always been a friendship, but with elements that make it richer and deeper than most regular friendships; it's a sort of family dynamic.

It could be read as having a potential for romance, and you're open to that, should the writers ever decide that's the direction they want to take it. You have said so multiple times, not just to appease a large group of fans, but because you genuinely mean it. You're open to it, but you don't know if it's ever going to happen, nor do you have any power over it.

You do love the way fans are celebrating this relationship though - whether they highlight the canonical platonic aspects or take it a step further. You "love the love" (as Ryan has put it). It's great, it's heartwarming, it's moving because the potential of that romance and your character figuring out he's bisexual means so much to queer fans who are looking for good queer representation (which your show already has, but there could always be a bit more, right?). You see and want to acknowledge all the creativity people pour into it.

But you're careful after a while, because, so far, that relationship has only textually been platonic, and some fans are accusing both the writers and you of queerbaiting.

So you take a step back, do less social media for a while. You don't want them to think you're confirming anything just because you see value in certain fictional interpretations of the text.

But then you are told that your character is supposed to come out as bisexual; he'll have a romance with a background character they're bringing back for a couple of episodes. While that's not exactly the relationship many of the fans hoped to get, it's still amazing. It's the right representation of bisexual characters that is very rarely done right, and it'll confirm that they always read your character correctly as bisexual. It'll be so validating to the fans to know they didn't misinterpret that, and you're very happy about that.

But you still love the family-like, platonic relationship you've built with the other character for 5 whole seasons before this. And you love the relationship your character has with his son, too. (In a way, Buck is to Christopher what Bobby is to Buck - a father figure).

You want to keep celebrating that because your new romantic relationship doesn't replace the year-long friendship with Eddie. You want to show fans that 'hey, even though this isn't exactly what you hoped for, it's still great; it's important. Eddie and Chris are still and always will be a huge part of Buck's life. Don't worry. Buck will not abandon them. I still see you and acknowledge you, but let's focus on the textual friendship and platonic love here. Which is also very, very important, and very dear to me personally."

And there isn't that much to share about a romantic relationship that's just begun yet anyway, especially with the season being so short and packed with multiple story arcs around the main characters. It's all still at the start, and while it's great, exciting and has the potential to become something lasting, nothing's set in stone yet. You probably also don't want to have people get their hopes up that Bucktommy is 'confirmed' as endgame; and you don't want to put a main character who has his own, very complex story arc going on this season on the backburner.

You've obviously 'done it wrong'. But no matter how else you could have done it, it would have been wrong as well. You probably know this by now, because no matter what you did in the past, there were always people who interpreted your actions and words in bad faith to confirm their own agenda.

So what the hell are you supposed to do other than what feels good to you while applying a little bit of caution?

---

Oliver CANNOT get it right. It's simply impossible. If he didn't post at all, some fans would be mad that he doesn't say anything. If he only or primarily promoted Bucktommy, they'd be mad that he ignores Eddie and Chris entirely. If he only promoted Buddie (platonic) and Chris, they'd be mad that he's ship baiting. And if he goes for the balance of putting his character's 6-year history with Eddie+Chris and the newly developing romance with Tommy in perspective, i.e. what he's doing right now, they're still mad.

In any potential scenario, the loud and obnoxiously entitled portion of the fandom would find a reason to criticize. It really does not matter what he does.

So, where does that leave us? Personally, I'd say leave the man alone. Let him post and say what he feels is best, and don't try to look at it under any 'bad faith' lens. He's probably given it sufficient thought and does what he thinks is best and feels right.

[system-of-a-feather]

is there anything you wish youd known about DID-specific therapy before you started? sorry if thats weird or vague, i just finally have a therapist that treats DID and im both nervous and relieved about it, so i guess im just wondering if you have advice as someone who has made so much progress with your own DID

God yeah there is a lot honestly. Like there are a lot of general rules of thumb that I've seen get mentioned here that I can say are usually really good things I found to be mostly true in my experience like

Persecutors are frequently demonized and they can be INCREDIBLY hard to work with, but they are incredibly important, often are parts that are capable of having the most growth and tend to add the most to the system once you figure out a good way to communicate and work with them; that said, don't push anything you aren't capable of handling, if they are being too much, safety first; just remember that they're probably some of the best allies you can have should you make things work with them; there is little stronger bonds - both between parts and as a whole - formed when you can befriend and trust someone / the part of you that you've always hated / avoided. Loving persecutors is self love and self love is important for healing

While keeping track of your parts can be helpful, try not to obsess and fixate on trying to find all the parts and figure out when and where everyone came from. It can become overwhelming (especially if you have a lot of parts), you might find parts and things you aren't ready to deal with if you try to look too hard, and it can take away from the important processing, bonding, communication, and present issues you might be facing as a whole

Its okay to relapse on maladaptive behaviors, especially if it keeps you safe and/or from relapsing or starting potentially more risky / dangerous / harmful maladaptive behaviors. Two steps forward, one step back, it's still progress so try not to be hard on yourself. Struggling and fumbling is part of recovery, you aren't bad, or wrong, or uniquely "broken" or anything for struggling through recovery. Recovery is just fucking hard and engaging with it at all is a really amazing and powerful thing.

Integration =/= Fusion. Integration is just improving and increasing the communication, connectivity, and fluidity of information and coordination of parts. Integration is inherent in any form of DID treatment.

On top of that, I think some of the ones I don't see talked about as much would be...

Splitting, while often assumed to be a negative thing and a result of trauma (true and sometimes!), can be very healing when you look at it from a larger lens. This isn't to say that you should want to split or seek to make new alters as a coping mechanism, because I'd probably say in most situations that is probably not healthy. This is more so saying that if your brain wants to / needs to / does split, its okay to just let it happen. Trying to actively prevent splits can cause a lot of emotional / trauma overwhelm and risk crisis states and honestly, sometimes its easier to deal with two (or more) contained and stable parts than it is to deal with one complex and unstable part. Likewise, sometimes it is easier to be two (or more) contained stable parts than it is to exist as one complex and unstable part. Splitting sometimes - and often is - a mechanism to maintain stability and keep life for all parts within a relative "window of tolerance" that you can function in. Splitting isn't a moral failure or a recovery failure or anything special. Splitting is just part of the journey of recovery and a lot of people split after they start recovery cause it can be a pretty hard thing to go through. You aren't alone if this happens and it is just part of the process and journey.

Similar to that and something that we've been talking on this blog a lot and trying to spread...

Fusion does not have to be a final thing. Fusion does not have to be a huge and notable event. Fusion can last anywhere from a few minutes, to a few hours, to a few months, to forever depending on what works for you. If a fusion isn't working for you or isn't sticking, your brain will likely re-split and if it doesn't, you can always actively try to undo it and we've done it multiple times pretty successfully. Fusion ALSO isn't anything special, it's something that just happens. Fusion and splitting are two sides of the same coin and really aren't anything as permanent or anything that carries any inherent value to it beyond what it means to you as an individual / whole.

And probably one of the things that I was the most astonished by

You don't actually have to process all your trauma to be at a place with your DID where you are considered to be "in remission" or to even reach functional multiplicity / final fusion. A lot of the meat of DID-focused therapy and recovery and improvement to life is not as much in the trauma processing as much as it is in the stabilization period; that is just to say, the main meat of growth, recovery, and improvement is found by working with your parts to establish an internal support system, internal trust with one another, and deeply getting to know each of the parts. Of course, trauma processing will happen along the way, but you can get EXTREMELY far with recovery simplly by focusing on the stability of the system, how you each support and communicate and coordinate with one another, and dealing with the trauma topics that come up in the immediate present. A good way to think about it is that the stabilization period is essentially creating a strong foundation and a strong base so that you feel secure and confident navigating basic day to day life with a lot of internal love and support and the trust that you and your parts can support eachother through a SHIT ton of stuff. If you can develop an internal relationship with your parts and your system that is very strong and built on trust and care, then dealing with trauma and adversities become WAY easier. Thus it can be a lot easier to postpone any heavy trauma processing that is not actively relevant and actively necessary to help improve internal relationships until AFTER you have a stronger and more secure realtionship with your parts. Thus I would suggest focusing on the present issues, the things parts are feeling and experiencing in the moment, and addressing those rather than trying to uncover every secret and trauma that you may or may not remember. If the trauma is something you are ready to deal with and it's relevant, your brain will bring it up when the time is right. Trust your brain thats protected you thus far and kept you alive thus far to let you know things when you are ready to know it, but also don't be afraid to ask parts for help if it does share more than you are ready. That's just to say - Don't Dig for information you don't want to know, but if something comes up that you don't feel equipt to deal with, its completely okay to seek internal or external help to try leave it behind. Again, especially early on, the focus should be on stabilization rather than trauma processing.

And just a little small one about online spaces and what not, but try not to worry too much abotu whether your experiences with the disorder align with others, or if you look "fake" or what not. A lot of recovery will look like things people who don't know better would think is "impossible with DID" and online spaces tend to be a place where a false image of what things "should" look like is kind of developed. Whatever you experience is what you experience and is inherently a real and true experience. Don't try to force yourself to fit into the expectation and boxes of others as it will often slow down your progress.

[shehangsthemoon]

To anyone out there that may be reading this… hi.

My name is Sam. I am 33 years old, married, and drifting through life like a plastic bag. Which might sound negative, but it’s not all bad. I create stained glass from my home, and I’ve been trying to build and run a brand new business with absolutely no prior experience or knowledge. I also also work a part time job at the zoo, and I do gig driving when needed.

Lately I’ve been avoiding glass to do literally ANYTHING else. Escaping into the worlds of Witcher III or TOTK, painting/watercolor, digital art (Procreate), photography, taking long baths, doom scrolling, ordering craft and “cosplay” supplies from Temu, creating blogs, etc.

I actually am glad the idea of a blog came to me today. I struggle with depression, general and social anxiety, PTSD, and lord knows what else. I’ve gone untreated for a majority of my life, and pretty recently started my journey to becoming better.

The reason I am bringing this up is because, this morning, while having a mild meltdown about finances, I realized I needed to make a change, for myself, and for my business.

Social media (Meta) has become a monster to me. It’s too polarized; I get interaction one day, the next, nothing. And it doesn’t lead to sales. I, like most people, don’t understand the algorithm, and I know it’s not designed to be understood. It’s also too competitive for my baby business, and if we’re being completely honest, I have been relying on those likes and follows WAY too much. When I don’t receive that instant gratification or feedback, I fall into negative or fearful behaviors/thinking, and none of that is conducive to my, or my business’ growth.

I’d like to use this platform to share my glass work and trials and tribulations of running a small business in a recession, but I would also like to utilize it as a kind-of-journal. I promise I will not be sharing extreme or in depth details from my life (unless asked), but my therapist told me to put my feelings down somewhere. He probably very explicitly meant somewhere private, but whatever. Oh god, is this the introvert’s answer to starting a podcast?

Anyway, some other things that you can probably expect to see or hear from me:

- Any creative projects I am working on, including my own photography and editing,

- fantasy,

- art, music, television, books I like,

- gaming,

- self realization and integration,

- self love and self care,

- burn out and compassion fatigue,

- tarot/astrology (I’m a beginner),

- pictures of my cats.

If you took the time to read this, THANK YOU. Please stay a while.

Sam

[sokkastyles]

I was reading the recent posts and asks on your blog about Ursa, and one of the asks mentioned something that I was really struck by. The person in the post who submitted the ask said something about how a woman who poisoned a monarch to prevent her son from being murdered, told her son that everything she did was to protect him, and to never forget who he is, would not have voluntarily given up her memories and forgotten who she was (referring to the Ursa and mother of faces scene).

Now that I'm thinking about this again, I believe that Ursa told Zuko not to forget who he was because Ursa essentially had forgotten her own sense of identity during her marriage with Ozai. If we go by the events in the comic, Ursa never wanted to be married to Ozai, nor did she want children with him. She was in love with Ikem, and she wanted to perform with him in plays, be married to him, and maybe even have children with him. But she ends up agreeing to marry Ozai and she did end up having two children with him, and throughout that marriage Ozai is abusive to her and only grows more abusive to her and eventually their children.

Ursa definitely put up with a lot of horrible behavior from Ozai and probably repressed a lot of her thoughts and desires just to make sure that Ozai wouldn't hurt her or their children (and it didn't even always work from what we've seen). Even the way Ursa behaves when married to Ozai, from what we see in the Zuko alone flashbacks, isn't necessarily what her actual personality is like, but what Ozai's abuse forced her to become. After saving Zuko and getting banished, she gets a chance to rediscover her sense of identity due to the mother of faces' offer, and yet we can see that she's so conflicted about it, because even though she never wanted the life she had, her children are a part of that life and she loves them very much (she literally cried when mother of faces said she would have to forget them, why do people think this was easy for her).

Basically, what I'm trying to say is, I can't blame Ursa for choosing to forget her identity and taking a new one, because Ursa never really had a sense of identity that she wanted or could be proud of. But, by taking the offer, she gets another chance to build a sense of identity for herself. It's a choice I find difficult to think about, but I find it very interesting, especially in light of what Ursa tells Zuko before leaving. I'm not sure if this makes sense, but what are your thoughts on this?

I've actually never thought about it that way and you make some really excellent points. A lot of the posts I reblogged yesterday made comparisons between Zuko and Ursa as abuse victims, and I can't shake that comparison. The line Ursa has about telling Zuko not to forget who he is exists in the story because Zuko in the present did forget who he was. He didn't have his memories magically wiped, but the boy who was kind and good was subsumed by his need to please Ozai. This was a process that Ursa could already see happening before she left. She saw it happen to Azula and I think she knew it would happen to Zuko. Hence why I've said that Ursa might not even know what her children would be like after Ozai's influence had won over.

You could read Ursa becoming Noriko as a parallel to Zuko's own journey, but I also like thinking about it in the way you describe, too. Noriko is who Ursa would have been without Ozai, and Ursa warned Zuko not to forget who he was not just because she feared it would happen, but because she knew very well what it meant to live with Ozai because of what parts of herself she had to sacrifice while living with him.

And what I don't like is that the narrative never lets her integrate those two people. One of my big icks about that plotline is that Noren gets to keep his memories but Ursa doesn't. And Noren knew that Ursa would have wanted to remember, because he's the one who confesses to Zuko that he knew all along. He's the one who took her to the mother of faces in the first place, who told her her best option was to stay with him and forget. Ursa doesn't really have much of a choice either in becoming Noriko or becoming Ursa again.

Let's be real, that narrative does NOT exist to make Ursa complex. It exists so that the writers don't have to get into the topic of what if Ursa didn't want to come back? What if she was afraid to? What if she couldn't? What if she died trying?

There's never a point where it's acknowledged that the life Ursa built for herself is just as much her life as her role as Zuko's mom. That's what's missing from the narrative. The bizarro plotline in the next set of comics where Kiyi has to deal with her mom having a new face is an extension of that. Why are we putting a small child through that, again? So that Zuko's mommy can be pretty, as the narrative repeatedly reminds us Noriko isn't? It's such a fucking gross plotline and I get why people hate it, but I think a lot of people are projecting their distaste for a poorly written and misogynistic plotline onto a female character, because blaming the woman, and blaming the mother especially, is what we're used to doing.

[5ummit]

It’s been 7 years since Civil War and I still mourn for the Bucky Barnes story we should’ve gotten.

I mourn for how quickly they showed him integrated back into society after CATWS. One moment he’s almost killing his best friend... and the next moment he’s living on his own and seems just fine. Sure, he’s a little quiet and awkward and sad, but he’s mostly pretty normal. Outside of the first half of Civil War, there’s very little evidence at all that would lead anyone to believe Bucky used to be the world’s most feared assassin, who was trained and molded into the perfect weapon through unimaginable pain and psychological manipulation. This man spent the better part of his life as a ruthless, mindless killing machine programmed to do nothing more than follow orders. You don’t just walk away from that without being fundamentally and irreversibly psychologically altered. Even the removal of the trigger words wouldn’t change that.

To clarify, I’m not talking about his lingering feelings of guilt and sadness. I think Seb has done a great job with getting that part across at least. I’m talking about his behavior. About way he interacts with other people and how he handles situations. He doesn’t act like a formerly-brainwashed ex-assassin who was treated as less than human for literal decades and who, by all accounts, should have the most severe form of PTSD known to man.

I just don’t buy the Bucky we see post-CATWS and particularly post-Civil-War. I don’t buy that Bucky would be joking around and flirting and basically acting like Just Some Guy – a grumpy guy but still Just Some Guy – and his recent haircut sure isn’t helping the situation either. That he wouldn’t always be a little bit on edge, a little bit animal (kinda like the way we see him at the beginning of Civil War but then never again). That being in the heat of battle wouldn’t sometimes make him either shut down or completely snap and go into a violent fugue state where he subconsciously reverts back to the brutally efficient methods of the Winter Soldier (we almost got this in TFATWS but they couldn’t commit).

Now maybe he received some absolutely incredible therapy in Wakanda. Maybe it worked wonders on him! The problem is I don’t buy it because I never saw it. I never got to see him struggle to learn how to be a person again. I never got to see him fight back against the thing Hydra turned him into.

It just sucks because I love everything about the concept of Bucky and the Winter Soldier, but the parts they’ve chosen not to show or address are, in my opinion, the most interesting parts of his character. But more than that, the lack of follow through and disconnect between what he was and who he seems to be now makes it really hard for me to see him as a fully-realized person in canon. It’s like my brain registers perfectly who he was in CATFA/CATWS and even kinda sorta now in TFATWS, but there’s this giant chasm in between them that mentally feels like fuzzy static.

How long did it take him to fully shake off the brainwashing and conditioning? When did he start thinking of himself as a human being with agency again? Did he ever have to fight the desire to return to Hydra, the only thing he’s known for 70 years, or was it an easy choice? How long did it take him to start recovering his memories? Has he recovered all of them? Does he now remember everything that happened before and during his time at Hydra? How long did it take him to stop flinching at every sound and expecting Hydra to track him down? How long did it take him to relearn how to interact with people like a normal person? How did he afford food and shelter between CATWS and CACW? How and why did he end up in Romania? Did he travel there immediately after CATWS or did he live somewhere else first? Did he get actual therapy in Wakanda or did they just work their science-magic to remove the trigger words and send him on his way? Is the the soldier still in there? Does he still have to consciously stop himself from using deadly force every time he’s in a fight? Is that why he deliberately avoids carrying any weapons now?

I have so many questions.

Fortunately we have fic and fanon to help fill the void but we shouldn’t have to. Bucky Barnes is one of the most interesting and unique characters to ever exist. There’s so much good stuff to dig into here and it’s been wasted.

They squandered the original opportunity to explore this part of his character when they turned Cap 3 into an Iron Man film, a decision I will forever be mad about (fuck you RDJ/Tony for stealing Bucky’s movie), but they finally had the perfect chance to make up for that with TFATWS! Bucky was getting his own show (6 hours of content!), and with it, plenty of time to really dig into his psyche and lingering trauma! I had hoped to see him relapsing a bit and falling into old patterns. Or maybe being triggered by something and having a panic attack. Or even just talking about his time in Hydra and how it felt to be used like that and his struggles to regain his humanity afterwards (instead they fucking gave Hawkeye the emotional “I was a weapon” speech that Bucky rightfully deserved). But other than that opening nightmare, a few brief teasing lines from Zemo about the solider still being in there (which was never followed through on), and the shittiest excuse for “therapy” I’ve ever seen, we really got nothing.

From everything they’ve shown us, and particularly from the ending of TFATWS, it’s clear Marvel believes Bucky has already “healed” and there’s little left to discuss or explore and it makes me incredibly sad.

[rainbow-starlight]

time for EVEN MORE CHARACTER ANALYSIS 🎉

(this time, with enneagrams!)

So, I love a good personality test, as I know many Tumblr users do. I’m particularly fond of Enneagram, because I feel like it gives a lot more insight into someone compared to, say, MBTI.

So, of course, I sat down and took the test twice: Once for canon Sun, once for canon Moon. A lot (and I do mean a lot) of this is based on speculation, so if you disagree, please let me know why!

I mostly did this because, y’know, there isn’t a lot of characterization for these two, and I wanted to see if I could gain any new knowledge from this. (Which, yep, it absolutely worked.) Hopefully this can be useful for anyone who wants more perspective on writing these two in a more day-to-day sort of setting. It’s almost all speculation, but I found it really interesting.

So, drumroll please… 🥁🥁🥁

Sun is a 2w1, and Moon is a 8w7!

Pretty different from what I found for them online (Sun as a 7w6, Moon as a 1w2). Thoughts on what these mean under the cut.

Most of my information comes from here! Some paraphrasing, some direct quotes. I won’t be directly citing everything because this isn’t an essay.

Sunny

The biggest and most interesting takeaway from Enneagram, to me, is the core hopes and fears.

Sun’s primary hope is to feel loved, and his secondary hope is to be good, have integrity, and be balanced.

Sun’s primary fear is of being unwanted and unworthy of being loved. His secondary fear of being corrupt, evil, or defective.

This is really interesting to think about in the context of the virus. He’s scared of being left behind, maybe doesn’t even understand why Moon is acting the way that he is and is terrified something’s just wrong with them. This could even apply in regards to being moved from the stage to the daycare, in a way.

His main motivations are to express his feelings for others and be needed and appreciated. His secondary motivations are to improve everything and be beyond criticism so nobody can say anything bad about him.

When going through a period of stress, Sun would become more like Moon’s worst traits. He’d be more proud, egocentric, confrontational, aggressive, dominating, vengeful, and demanding of obedience. If he were in danger during this period of time, he’d likely become destructive in his attempts to get out of it, even if that’s not the best way to handle it. He’d also likely become depressed, moody, irrational, hopeless, and ashamed of himself, more prone to self-destruction. He’d probably chase away people who try to help him and self-isolate.

I think that can definitely be seen in the ruin part of HW2 with Sun’s voice lines to the player, as well as how harsh he is on the player during arts & crafts.

When going through a period of growth, Sun would be creative, self-aware, introspective, gentle, compassionate, excitable, spontaneous, cheerful, and productive. He’d be able to be vulnerable yet emotionally strong, grateful for what he has, and excited about just existing. Very much like fanon Sun, honestly.

An unhealthy Sun would likely be manipulative, inflexible, self-serving, and domineering, able to excuse and rationalize his behavior because he sees himself as a victim. He’d likely be obsessive about others’ imperfections and wrongdoings, perhaps to the point of cruelty. He’d be prone to nervous breakdowns.

An average Sun (closest to what we’ve seen so far) would be people-pleasing, orderly, abrasive, overbearing, impatient, self-sacrificial, and codependent. Full of approval and flattery for others. He’d likely hover and mettle in others’ business and scold others for anything done not to his exact specifications.

A healthy Sun (unheard of so far in the games lmao) would be unselfish, compassionate, caring, hopeful, warm-hearted, forgiving, encouraging, and appreciative. He’d actually take care of himself, too.

To help Sun grow into that healthy category, here’s some stuff that would help…

Addressing his own needs before others’.

Not expecting appreciation for the good things he does.

Asking people what they need from him instead of just assuming and trying to help, and accepting that sometimes people don’t want his help without assuming that they dislike him or are rejecting him.

Not trying to call attention to his own hard work.

Learning to recognize the affection and good wishes of others, even if those things take a different shape than he’s familiar with.

Learning to relax and take time for himself, without feeling like this will lead to chaos and disaster.

Not expecting others to change immediately when he explains something, because what’s obvious to him isn’t always obvious to others and people just don’t typically change right away.

Not getting worked up about others’ (or his own) shortcomings, because frustrated with others gets him nowhere and harsh self-criticism just makes him feel worse.

Getting in touch with his own feelings and needs.

Moon

Now, this one was definitely harder. We get so little characterization for him. And yet…

Moon’s primary hope is to protect himself and be in control of his own life and destiny. His secondary hope is to be satisfied and content, and have his needs fulfilled.

Moon’s primary fear is of being harmed or controlled by others, and his secondary fear is of being deprived and in pain.

This is really telling compared to Sun’s. Moon isn’t scared of some sort of fundamental flaw within himself. He also cares much less about what others think of him, and just wants to be happy and safe.

His main motivations are self-reliance, to prove his strength, and to be important and in control of his environment and situation. His secondary motivations are to maintain his freedom and happiness, to avoid missing out, to keep himself excited and occupied, and to avoid pain.

I feel like this definitely tracks. He’s a gremlin that makes a hobby out of bothering the staff by pretending to be a boogeyman. That’s not “security” work (sorry, Moon).

When going through a period of stress, Moon becomes secretive, fearful, perfectionistic, and critical. He’d be reclusive and out of touch with reality, obsessed with yet frightened by his violent thoughts, and incredibly self-destructive. He’d judge others harshly while rationalizing his own actions and wouldn’t hesitate to punish others to get rid of perceived ‘wrongdoers’.

This aligns pretty well with what we’ve seen of Moon with the virus.

When going through a period of growth, Moon picks up some of Sun’s best traits. He becomes open-hearted, caring, focused, compassionate, encouraging, nurturing, loving, perceptive, curious, independent, innovative, and whimsical.

We haven’t really had a chance to see anything like this with Moon, but it feels closer to popular fanon perceptions as well.

An unhealthy Moon would be ruthless and violent. He’d be reckless about his own safety and straight-up murderous. He’d be impulsive and never know when to stop or when he’s taking things too far, and eventually run out of energy or get too broken-down and just give up on himself.

An average Moon would be self-sufficient, hardworking, hyperactive, self-centered, and proud. He wouldn’t pay much attention to his own emotional needs. He’d be combative and intimidating to get his way, and not shy away from threats to get obedience. He’d always be doing things to avoid boredom and have a larger-than-life persona just for the fun of it.

A healthy Moon (at long last…) would be brave, confident, resourceful, decisive, cheerful, passionate, and assertive. He’d actually be very extroverted and easily excited, which goes against a lot of popular headcanons for him, but then again this is the guy whose entire characterization is one long performance of hide-and-seek/tag with the monster under your bed. I feel like it makes sense that he’d be more social when the threat of his worst fears coming true isn’t looming over his head.

How would Moon reach that healthy category?

Recognizing that he’s at his best when he does things like take charge or help people through a crisis. He needs to use some self-restraint and try to inspire others to do what he wants instead of just forcing them.

Learning to let others have their way sometimes, and recognizing that doing this usually won’t mean sacrificing his power or his real needs.

Recognizing that the world is not against him and letting in the affection that’s available.

Accepting that he depends on others and not alienating them.

Not overvaluing being feared/obeyed, and recognizing that those things are not a stand-in for love.

Learning to be less impulsive.

Learning to listen to others, as well as learning to be comfortable without constant stimulation.

Accepting that he doesn’t have to have everything immediately.

Choosing quality over quantity in experiences.

Making sure that what he wants will really be good for him in the long run.

What do these types mean for their relationship and how they’d interact with each other?

They’re more alike than they initially appear!

Both are action-oriented and want to have a personal impact on their environment.

Both can be sentimental and deeply feeling, with a soft side that isn’t as apparent.

Both can play the roles of provider, protector, caretaker, and nurturer while avoiding or even denying their own needs.

Both tend to overwork themselves and be the ‘strong one’ in relationships, although Sun’s type is more likely to be the power behind the throne whereas Moon’s type is more likely to be the one on the throne, which I found really interesting.

Both are passionate, generous, and have good people skills.

Both are strong-willed and like taking on responsibility, as long as they choose it themselves.

Both easily play the roles that the other needs and wants. They see each other’s best qualities and can be the other’s strongest supporter and admirer. They also have clearly-defined roles, so they tend to not get in each other’s way. They make powerful allies who complement each other’s strengths, particularly the good effects they have on others.

However, they have very different values: Sun’s type is more person-oriented, and Moon’s type is more practical. Sun’s type also tends to be more indirect, whereas Moon’s type tends to be more direct. Sun’s type is much more likely to get attached to people and see things from their point of view, whereas Moon’s type does not.

When they’re not doing so good, they may be prone to arguments over whose views are correct: Moon’s confrontational attitude and tendency to shut others out, or Sun’s possessive and self-sacrificial behaviors. Sun’s type is more likely to get caught in a codependent relationship with Moon’s, becoming an apologist and enabler for his bad behavior.

The breakdown in mutual communication/respect/trust would involve Moon seeing Sun as insincere and manipulative, and Sun seeing Moon as cruel and domineering. They’d both become more controlling and harsh with each other, both prone to paranoia and fear of betrayal.

I feel like that’s kind of where we’re at in the games. Sun chooses not to outright warn people about Moon a lot of the time, and they both try to gain total control of their shared body and shut the other out.

AAAAND… DONE!

I hope this was at least an interesting read for you guys, and offered a new perspective on these characters! I recommend checking out the link for further insights into the personality types, because I tried to just limit it to character motivations and interactions and that alone has been ridiculously long.

hey, sunnie, why’d you do this?

neurodivergency. next question.

[quietwingsinthesky]

hey bug,

what do you think of

Gayest Supernatural Character, Quarter-Finals

drama and who do you believe is the truest queerest character in supernatural?

i think all spn polls drama is nonsense. it's fun until people start being actual assholes about stuff, and a poll like 'gayest spn characters' does make the worst elements of the fandom get overly aggressive trying to prove their claim to the queerest blorbo. a lot of people here have attached an unhealthy amount of their own identity to their favorite characters (and specifically, to a very narrow perception of said favorite characters) that leads to them lashing out when they feel that character disrespected, as it feels like a slight against them, personally. deeply strange and uncomfortable behavior when we should all just be talking about how crowley kisses men on screen for fun.

anyway, 'truest queerest character of supernatural' is a bit of a mixed bag because there's two options here. which character is the queerest textually, as in, was allowed to be openly queer and express queer love the longest and most often. and which character's subtextual narrative was most reflective of queerness, which is what a lot of people are arguing about the most. because you can't really argue about the first one. like. the only queer character who got to be queer, openly and constantly and for multiple seasons, make out with multiple women on screen, and not be treated like her sexuality is a joke is charlie bradbury. and we can talk about how well or poorly she's written as a character, but in supernatural, she is like a fucking lesbian beacon. and she's still bare fucking minimum in a cast whose other notable queers consist of 1) joke characters we are meant to mock for the fact that they are queer, 2) one-off characters who either die or in the case of later seasons where killing off gay people instantly because slightly less okay, do not get to express a lot of their queerness on screen before being shunted off to never scare the largely cishet audience again, or 3) villains. just like. villains. i know we love this about them, i know we're all gay little freaks here on the lucifer stan blog who enjoy that he's Like That about sam. but the fact that a lot of the villains on supernatural are queer-coded if not just openly queer is. :/ not great, folks.

and now we get to what my answer is for number 2) most subtextually queer. because like. it isn't charlie. charlie's queerness is not a part of her journey in any way. which is, kind of refreshing? but also very evidently the result of the writers not actually knowing how to integrate a lesbian into their story other than like. let her kiss women. charlie is written about as deep as a puddle 90% of the time, and that's the real crime we should talk about with her at the end of the day. getting distracted. anyway. for subtextual queerness. i mean, for me, it's sam. quite obviously, it's sam. sam the othered, sam the defiled, sam the broken and never pure. sam in his struggles trying to connect to a religion and a god who rejects him. sam who is and always will be the devil himself even when he proves that he can overcome him. sam who cannot win, no matter how quiet he makes himself and how much he acquiesces to the demands of the patriarchal family structure he's been slotted into.

hm. sam who knows he's dying, and sam who refuses to take a chance at life if it means burying everything about himself he's tried to construct and rising again as someone new.

i don't think you can honestly argue that sam's story doesn't resonate queerly. and i know this because most of the arguments i've seen against it have been "well, but sam (or sometimes "jared") feels too straight to be queer in any way". to which the only response can be THEY'RE ALL STRAIGHT. ALL OF THEM. THERE ARE NO QUEER MAIN CHARACTERS ON SUPERNATURAL. and yes, i am intentionally including castiel in there, for the people who argue his status as a main character. no. i don't think a love confession -> death pipeline is particularly compelling as a queer narrative, least of all because his potential queerness has always been treated like a joke or a reason to emasculate him, and to actually explore what it means that castiel loves dean winchester would take a much better show than supernatural could ever be. and it still wouldn't be a show that makes people happy, if it was honest, because it'd be a show about the slow and steady decline of one broken man constantly proven right about his paranoia and his abuse and his control issues, and one broken angel who has set him up as a god because he never really learned what free will was, just learned that following dean winchester means he has it.

[that-left-turn]

The richonne fans actually have lead the discussion on racism in the fandom and we pretend we don’t see it or reply with snark because we don’t really care. I am a vocal caryler on twitter who speaks against it and if you were there you would see that. We get drowned out by the others. There’s not a lot of us who speak against it over there. But it’s easier to ignore it to whine about not getting canon from simple gimple and Zabel. I found you because of your fic. That’s where I get my fix because we will never get it from those men. But that doesn’t mean the bad behavior in our fandom should be ignored. Sad.

I have no idea what Richonne fans do or not, apart from the people in my asks who tell me to stfu and add colorful insults to make their point. Educating people on why something is hurtful and how institutionalized prejudice works is a good thing. Calling each other names, not so much. Most people aren't taught about racism in school, just that "racism=bad" which isn't all that helpful in itself. That said, I don't think it's a competition between taking a stand against racism or misogyny. They go hand in hand more often than not and I'm capable of being angry about both injustices at once. I do "whine" about both things.

It's a mistake to think of Gimple as "simple." He's not a competent showrunner or studio exec, his writing is bad and he's an unpleasant person, but he's shrewd. He's been molding the franchise into reflecting his personal preferences for years, to the detriment of the shows and those who've worked on them. He has certain criteria for the people he hires and the ones who've predated his power of influence, he's done his best to shove out.

Getting canon is important. It's representation for middle-aged relationships which we get precious little of on TV. The 'older' couples we see are mostly supporting cast, there to be a foil for the problems the protagonist has; they're not the focal point of the show. Caryl are from a poor white background (Carol's grandma made her clothes and Daryl grew up in a shack/cabin) and the depiction of that social class is always dysfunctional and often criminal. That needs to change too and it could, if Caryl lead the way.

DA survivors finding love and being able to trust is also, again, something that deserves a spotlight. Abuse is shameful and humiliating, and debilitating. People who go through that in real life need the hope that Caryl can provide. They live in a very violent world, but they've found something good in each other, and the fans who have gone through similar experiences can also find the inner strength that these two characters have.

Story integrity. Audience respect. Discussion on the bad behavior of the men in charge of TWDU is important. I will always talk about racism (even if I lose followers and fic readers over it) and I will also always talk about misogyny and sexism. I know I haven't really gotten into ageism, but that's because my topics have largely been decided by "what's in my inbox." (Feel free to drop an ask. I'd love the opportunity to talk about 'fun things' too 🙃)

All these issues are the evil siblings of the fandom and the franchise. One isn't more pressing than the other and that's the reason why different factions shouldn't turn on each other. We need to lift each other up, as well as the characters and the women who play them. We won't get ahead by tearing each other down and that's why I try to focus on providing information rather than being angry at individuals who may behave badly.

When I was a kid, my mom always told me why she wanted me to do this or not do that, and it stuck with me, because she showed me respect as an individual of my own, even if I was a 5-year old. People are more likely to listen if you don't speak in anger, if you afford them their dignity and you're not authoritarian... and I haven't walked in anyone else's shoes. I don't know what they're going through, so I try to give the benefit of doubt as to people's motives for what they do/say. I'm not ignoring bad behavior. I try to counter it in my posts, even if I have minimal outreach. Change starts at grassroots level, you know? "Be like water making its way through cracks."

Thanks for reading my fic 🙏😊 I really appreciate that. I've been rewatching S11, so I can get back into writing Stick Figures, but it's not a season that makes you excited about its storytelling. Double edged sword since I need the little details as tie-ins to my 'red thread' arc.

[magnetengineer]

Was inspired by these screenshots that someone collected (I don't hang out on twitter (hell i don't hang out on tumblr either))—

akghh first of all @gooseworx i'm here if you wanted to be friends 🐥🐥

and here are things I could say if I needed to wrangle a fanbase:

Guys, I love humanity regardless, and none of you have my blessing to hurt people under the guise of 'defending' me. I LOVE PEOPLE even if they'd hate me. You attack someone 'on my behalf'? I'll befriend that poor victim just to spite you.

I'm above mortal pettiness. Malice towards me doesn't stop the Earth from spinning, and neither does admiration. If you get into "Us vs Them" fights over petty things, you're going against everything I've learned and how much I've grown. I will disown you as having anything to do with me and my work.

Not that I'm even entitled to you actually caring, but at least I'm stating that I myself wouldn't support an aggressive stan who superficially supports me. Why 'superficially'? Because at that point, you're just interpreting malice towards me as insulting your ego. I'm not a person to you, I'm an object you've integrated as part of your identity. In your head, insulting 'me' is insulting you. When in reality I, the actual person, don't even realize or care that XYZ is happening to begin with.

You want to be angry or contemptous towards someone? That's just your insecurities, being expressed as your defense mechanisms! I don't shame you for having those—I've been insecure before. But now, being free of them gives me such awareness about why us mortals can have such terrible interactions with each other! And I'll try my darndest to get you aware that you're your own demise—if you let those defense mechanisms zombify you!

You ALL deserve to find peace, you deserve all the self-love, and you deserve freedom from petty distractions that take you away from having substance—from having an emotional ground to stand on! (i.e. acceptance, confidence, peace…)

If I don't dehumanize people who would literally want me dead, then you can do the bare minimum of speaking to them kindly—in an inviting way that disarms them.

I don't have insecurities, so don't bother having them on my behalf 😭

Yes, your "Us vs Them" fights are your distractions. They keeping you unthinking, instead just reacting based on instant emotional gratification. They're illusions! just like some kind of war propaganda to dehumanize your literal neighbor. These lies disgust me whether they're coming from others, or from within. Stand for the freedom to love unconditionally, especially if it means fighting your own prejudices! As someone who used to be pretty despicable; as someone who could have chosen to not grow as a person; as someone who could have kept having stan behavior—believe me, when I say I'm free and at peace when I choose unconditional love (which is inseparable from true intelligence/awareness). Bai 💚🐟

Anyone feel free to be inspired too 💖

[dipplinduo]

I was thinking about the whole toxic chain theory with Kieran and I was just imagining the potential with it when it comes to this ship.

Like Juliana could still try to help Kieran while Dokutaro/Pecharunt is controlling/influencing him or something.

It made more sense in my head but what are your thoughts on this?

*** RESPONSE CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS TO THE INDIGO DISK GAMEPLAY ***

Love this, personally I could write Kieran either way and was lowkey pro-toxic chain theory Kieran with the DLCs because I thought it was an interesting plot point that could better add to his characterization if done right (i.e. rather than being fully responsible for his 180, make it more so that the toxic chain capitalized off of his internalized emotions and potential lifetime trauma, and thus amplified some of the extremities we saw/could've seen).

At the end of the day, he is still a young teenager, though, so I understand the argument against Kieran toxic chain theory and just recognizing his behaviors as being developmentally appropriate. I also don't mind non-possessed Kieran either. I just wish his character motifs were better explored and his resolution was better written (e.g. more post-credit scenes with him making amends with other characters, which includes certain characters also apologizing to him). Because let's be honest, Kieran is very much a polarizing character to the general Pokemon community, and I do wish that people could sympathize with his overall story more. Like, I've legit seen people rant up and down about his negative character arc in the teal mask, but in reality it's very obvious that the player was more of the straw that broke the camel's back given his home life and upbringing. The player just takes the brunt of it because they are something tangible that he can externalize and project his frustrations on, so we become an obstacle and goal. The closest we got to that being integrated in the storyline was as Kieran was yanking at terapagos's stone. It's there, but could've been better imo.

However, at the same time, I also think it's important to note that Kieran's actions are things he needs to be held accountable for as well. Especially in the indigo disk as he's in full blown villain arc. Like, he straight up bullied a number of people and lashes out on practically everyone he interacts with. Changes the dynamic of an entire school just because he's pissed off and bitter. Despite his pain, those kinds of actions are not okay and shouldn't be left unchecked. Even Kieran himself shows the capacity to acknowledge when he's not necessarily doing the right thing, yet will choose to do so anyway.

I have more opinions on this LOL, but the point to that tangent is that the motif for a toxic chain possession is there. In my own multi chapter toxic chain fic that I was trying to have chapter 1 of out today for, AND WILL DEF COME OUT SATURDAY OR SUNDAY LATEST a dynamic that is similar to what you mentioned will be happening between Kieran and Juliana. Because OOOOH THE POTENTIAL FOR BOTH CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND DYNAMIC DEVELOPMENT. Get ready for some angst. 🥲

[thatgirl4815]

Side Character Roles/Functions

I've been thinking about the roles of side characters in this series and how they function as narrative devices. I have no specific point to laying them all out other than I think it's interesting to take a look back at what they've shown us about the main characters.

Yo & Plug - I'm putting them together because they're almost always in scenes together. To no one's surprise, I think they are intended primarily as a mirror to SandRay's relationship. What is first presented as a seemingly ideal relationship turns sour fast when Sand and Ray catch their breakup outside of the bar. Yo is afraid of commitment much in the same way that Sand is afraid of setting boundaries or rejecting people he cares about lest he lose them. In that way, Yo's behavior almost contradicts Sand's own--Yo is so afraid of losing someone that she opts to leave them first, while Sand is so afraid of losing someone even if they treat him badly. There are so many juicy comparisons to Sand and Ray's commitment to each other.

Atom - Also unsurprisingly, Atom functions as both a point of conflict for Boston and, more importantly, a turning point for Boston in his own self-reflections. What makes Atom different than Boston's other hookups is that Boston had established a genuine friendship with him prior. Not only that, but Boston was under the impression that Atom was 100% straight up to the point that Atom asked if he could try things out with Boston. Judging from Boston's reaction, the fact that this friendship leads to a sexual encounter is disheartening in that it once again affirms Boston's worth as coming from his body. This topic hasn't been explored in too much detail, but I like that the situation with Atom subtly hints at it. Additionally, we see Nick tell Atom that he knows what it's like to be in love with someone who doesn't love him back (right in front of Boston!) which is a poignant line for Boston to hear. Boston was already aware of this, but in light of his recent revelations, I think it hits harder to hear Nick say it in the interaction between AtomBostonNick.

Boeing - Boeing is here to ruin everybody's day. I think he serves multiple functions given that he is involved in multiple relationships (I'm sure he will have an important function in BostonNick's relationship as well judging from the Ep12 preview). For TopMew, Boeing is both another road block for them to move past and proof that though Mew wants to forgive Top, he still wants to take revenge against him. Boeing is a convenient way for Mew to take that revenge; Boeing even invites it. Mew deciding not to take the bait though is what allows him and Top to move forward. For SandRay, Boeing is a source of conflict that they must overcome too, but he also plays a very integral role in illustrating Sand's boundary issues.

April - April is here to be the unproblematic gf of the year. In my own personal opinion, I think she deserves better than Cheum. I do not think Cheum is a bad person, just like I don't think anyone in this series can be considered a bad person, but her behavior--especially with the Atom/Boston incident--frustrates me to no end. But back to April. I think her relationship with Cheum is important in that it remains fairly consistent even though it has its own issues. I'm glad they encountered some conflict to remain realistic and show the audience that not even the lesbians are safe from drama.

Moms/Dads - I won't go too deep into this since there are so many avenues (might be better-suited for a longer post), but moms and dads play an important role for many of the main characters, particularly Sand, Ray, Boston, and Mew (with variation of course). Contrasting the relationship that Ray had with his mom to Sand's mom/Mew's moms illustrates how Ray has been lacking in a familial support system for much of his life. On the other hand, Sand's father is an absent figure while Ray's father is only mostly absent, though he does care about saving Ray from his mother's fate. We also see small glimpses of Boston's father and Nick's father; Boston's father is an especially good indicator of the role of reputation, expectation, and even toxic masculinity in Boston's life.