#i couldnt have namor on the enterprise and not flirt with uhura!

[imperiuswrecked]

A fanfic idea I don't have enough plot to make work is Namor and Spock swap places in time and space. So Jim Hammond finds himself with a completely different pointy-eared, black-haired, half-human. And Kirk is completely baffled when what appears to be Spock's buff shirtless cousin is running around loudly bellowing "Jim! Jim! Where are you?"

(art by Nick Perks)

The Trouble with Transporters (and Sorcerer Supremes) 

Jim Kirk turns to his first officer after Jim finished materializing on the deck of the transporter room aboard the Enterprise, his mouth already partway open to ask a question but instead of the cool Vulcan science officer in his blue uniform Kirk is surprised to find a man, with dark hair, pointed ears, and unusually impressive eyebrows. Oh the man was also nearly naked, his well muscled body showed off a strong body and glistening abs as though he had just popped out of the nearest ocean. Only the small green scaled swim trunks preserved any modestly. The other difference between his Vulcan and this near look alike was the sheer unrestrained anger on the man’s face.

“STRANGE. YOU SON OF A- the universal translator was unable properly reference the language the man’s tongue slipped into, it sounded like a siren shrieking with the bass rumble of whale sounds aiding by clicks like a dolphin would use. It seemed the man knew English as well as this foreign language. Kirk reasoned that the words were insults but he was more concerned with where Spock was and who this man was. The man in question stopped his angry speech and gesticulating to finally noticed his surroundings.

“You are not Strange.”

Jim gives Scotty a look and then turns back to the man, “No, but it would seem you are... very strange. Tell me, who are you and where is Spock?”

The man ignores him and instead looks around, “Jim!”

Startled that the man knew his name though he could swear that he had never seen him before Jim responds, “How-”

Too late, the man was walking away, calling out “Jim” over and over again, Kirk hurries after him followed by Scotty and it’s only then that he notices the small white wings on the strangers ankles. Catching up to him in the halls Jim puts his hand on the man’s shoulder, “Say just wait-” the next thing Jim knows he is looking up at Scotty’s face from the floor of the hallway, stunned he wheezes a bit before taking Scotty’s hand and standing up to find the almost naked alien, for surely he must be one with those features, ranting at him.

“You would DARE to touch a Prince of the Blood?!”

“I would dare that and a lot more if you don’t tell me where Spock is you pointy eared bastard.” Jim yells back at him, his blood racing. 

The alien was strong and could probably snap him like a twig but if Spock was in danger then Jim would do anything to find him and bring him home. Jim rushes the alien, intending to give him a quick punch in the face but Namor meets him and they fight. Bones arrives on sight and stuns the both of them. Jim goes down, but Namor roars “Imperius Rex!” before turning to face the new threat to his person.

- Meanwhile on Earth, some distant time in the past -

“Fascinating. You say that your magic, the magic that has brought me here through time and space, was intended for another? Somehow the Enterprise’s transporter and you drawing on the energies of the universe have collided and yielded unexpected results.” Spock contemplates his tea and the two men he was sitting with, one called Strange, a doctor and a magician, and the other called Jim, an Android and a hero. The similarities between this Jim and his own were their names and that they both had fair hair, yet their demeanors were entirely different. He was in a place called the  Sanctum Sanctorum, where Jim had come to find Namor after Stephen was supposed to have magically transported him to the Sanctum from Jim’s side.

“Very much so,” Stephen Strange replies, “Oh the studies I could do with this. Learning how to switch others’s places could come in handy when dealing with the dark forces of the multiiverse.” The Doctor sips his own cup of tea.

“As intriguing as this is, don’t you think we should work on switching them back?” Jim says, the slightest unease hinting his words, worried about what mess Namor would have gotten into during the time they were puzzling this out.

“I suppose I must work now to return you Mr. Spock, to your place and Namor to his, he won’t be very happy about this.” Stephen sighed, “It will take a few hours for my magical strength to return.”

“Indeed, I would imagine that my Jim would not be welcoming to what he would perceive as an intruder aboard the Enterprise.”

- Meanwhile aboard the Enterprise some distant time in the future -

War raged on as Jim and Namor fought over the captains chair.

“I say that I should sit here, I am a Prince!” Namor crosses his arms and stays sitting in the chair.

“Prince or pauper, that is the captains chair and you are not the captain, nor are you one of my officers, so move before I-.”

Bones pulls Kirk aside, “Jim for once in your life THINK, we need his cooperation. You saw what happened when we tried to stun him it only made him angrier. If Uhura had not calmed him down and spoken to Namor in his language then we might still be trying to patch holes in the ships hull. We’ll find Spock and get this sorted out, so what if he wants to sit in the chair!”

“Principle of the matter Bones, its the principle of the matter!” Jim hissed. Bones gives him a look and Jim presses his lips together before turning back and speaking to Namor, “Since you are our... guest, I suppose you may have the chair.”

Namor smirks, Kirk calculates how many ways Namor could hurt him if Jim were to haul the smug sea bastard from his chair to the nearest airlock. Chekov groans and hands over some units to Sulu, losing the bet they had made. Uhura rolls her eyes before returning to her console trying to find a way to get a message to Spock. Bones sighed, wishing he had a drink. 

After the pair had been calmed down from their earlier fight, and taken to the medical bay to be checked over Bones had found that while Prince Namor wasn’t human, he was not fully alien either, or rather Atlantean, he was a half of both much like how Spock was a hybrid of Vulcans and Humans. He wished he could have studied Namor more but the Prince’s patience was short and Uhura was needed on the command deck. Namor followed her here and now he sits in Jim’s chair and flirts with Uhura, she seemed to be flattered by the Prince’s words, the man wasn’t hard to look at either. Uhura intercepts a message from Doctor Strange claiming that he had Spock and was going to attempt to switch them back, Strange’s voice was verified by Namor and a few moments later Scotty’s voice crackles on the intercoms, “Captain! Something is happening in the transporter room, I would suggest you all get down here.” 

In the transporter room Uhura bids a farewell to Prince Namor, whom had already pledged his undying love to her with promises of her becoming his Princess in Atlantis with a marriage proposal and promises of all the riches in the sea, she refuses politely and his dejection is clear. Namor presses her hand to his lips in a gentlemanly manner, brushing a soft kiss across her knuckles, “My Lady, if you should ever find yourself in my time then do not hesitate to come find me, and if you should ever find yourself in any peril merely call upon me and I shall come to your aid.”

“I can take of myself, my star crossed Prince, but do take care of yourself.” Her voice stern but not unkind.

“My lady, I apologize if you feel I have offended you. I can see you are a very capable and beautiful woman. However it is the time for me to leave... alone, unless I can convince you to join-”.

Jim cuts in and steers Namor towards the teleporters, “Yes, yes, yes, good bye Prince Namor, let’s hope you never have issues with teleportation again.” He shoves Namor into the shifting lights, unspoken is the words “good bye and good riddance”.

As Namor’s form is replaces with Spock’s, Jim breathes a sigh of relief, then throws his arms around the Vulcan in a hug, “SPOCK.”

Spock’s eyebrows rose with surprise, “I was barely gone a few hours, I would not think my presence would be that missed.”

The crew laughs, Kirk’s voice is muffled against Spock’s shirt, “You have no idea.”