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creative-frequency · 5 years

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Cal Kestis x Reader: DEAR STAR SYSTEM Ch. 04

Word count: 3849 Pairing: Cal Kestis x Female Reader Summary/Contains: There is a time and place for pining but first you need to save the Wookiees. Partial canon-rewrite. Pining, probably. Notes: This is a long chapter but I hope it makes up for the wait! Also lmk if you’d like to be tagged or not. Also sorry if I forgot to tag someone.

Previous Chapter

My Writing Masterlist

DEAR STAR SYSTEM // 04

Your heart wrenches in the most distressing way.

Listening to Saw Gerrera explain what is going on; the Wookiees enslaved, the planet being harvested and destroyed by the Empire… There has to be a way you can help.

On Zeffo Cal found out that the next step of Cordova’s path lies on Kashyyyk, so that’s where you headed next. After a brash jump from the flying Mantis, hijacking a walker and helping the rebels and Gerrera’s Partisans to clear the area, anyone could settle for enough adventure. But Cal still wants to help.

And so do you.

“Wooaaah, wait a minute, hold on, wait a minute.” Greez motions everyone to stop speaking. He is not too convinced it’s a good idea to participate in some freedom fighting. “The Mantis works wonders, I mean it’s a great ship, excellent pilot, but…”

You raise an eyebrow at him.

“It is not built for close support,” he ends decisively.

“We’ll stay here and monitor Imperial transmissions,” Cere calms him, “With a bit of luck we’ll intercept any distress calls.”

“’Preciate it,” Saw nods and turns to Cal: “My lieutenants and I will scout ahead to prepare the attack. Join us when you’re ready.”

As Saw leaves with most of his troops, Cal turns to look at the rest of your crew. His expression is filled with determination, defiance even. Nothing is going to stop him and he is daring you to try.

“You hair is still wet,” you quip. You notice the curve of your lips is a tad too relieved and Cal is absurdly good at pulling off the wet poncho look.

The mood has been slightly… careful between you since the necklace episode. You regret ever letting it happen since now you’re hyperaware of Cal’s presence at all times and weigh the meaning behind every look. It’s an unexpected but not unwelcome pastime, and you shouldn’t consider him in that way but you just do. Cal, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to be effect by those same troubles at all. It’s frustrating because you feel like you’re losing in your own game, which is not supposed to be a game but somehow it still is.

Urgh.

“It’s good to see you too,” Cal says and chuckles. “Glad you’re alright.”

“This place is a dump,” Greez mutters and glowers at the overgrown nature around the landing zone. It must be horrible for him.

“Your plan worked. And now you want to follow Saw?” Cere asks cautiously and folds her arms on her chest, not entirely approving of her young mentee’s intentions.

“What do you think of his plan?” Cal returns.

“He might win this fight with our help, but in the long run… I don’t know,” you say in thought. You sigh and look around the destroyed forest. The smell of smoke and burning metal prickles in your nostrils. You’re starting to get desperate for fresh or even filtered air.

“I doubt the freedom for the Wookiees is his only goal,” Cere adds in a hushed tone.

“He seems trustworthy,” Cal shrugs.

“He might prove to be, but there’s more going on here than we know,” Cere reminds him. Cal nods.

“And don’t forget the Empire fights dirty. Watch your tail in that refinery, kid,” Greez says. Is that a hint of worry you detect?

“Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Wait. I’m coming with you,” you say on the spur of the moment before Cal can turn to leave. There’s no way you’re sitting on your hands inside the Mantis while Cal tumbles head on into danger to save the Wookiees.

The crew pauses to stare at you.

“They’ll need all the help they can get,” you explain, “I’ll go grab my gear, hold on a minute.”

Cal doesn’t know what to say. Cere holds a sigh and Greez shakes his head. “I knew this was gonna happen one day,” he mumbles.

“Does she…” Cal starts but finds it difficult to finish the question. The last thing he wants is to doubt your competence, but he would blame himself if anything were to happen to you out there.

“She can take care of herself, I’ll admit that. You need to focus on your part, Cal,” Cere assures.

“Right.” The young Jedi still looks bemused but swallows the rest of the questions.

The two electroswords, both miraculously fixed by Cal, are waiting to get back to what they were created for. Such flashy weapons haven’t been your strong suit before but it’ll be interesting to try them. As you grab and attach them to you belt along with a blaster and its holster, an ambiguous feeling grows inside you. The decision to go with Cal wasn’t made as impulsively as you even yourself initially thought. Spending time with Cere and Cal must be affecting your sense of justice and will to act. Goddamn Jedi.

Who could’ve guessed someone with your messy past would become a freedom fighter? Definitely not you.

You silence the nagging voice whispering that you’re only doing this to impress a certain person who makes your heart race. Is this really something you’d normally do just to get back to the top of things aka your feelings? You refuse to believe that. But anyone who knew you before you met Cere, would disagree and tell you this is exactly how you always respond. They would tell you this is what you do best. You’re always the one in control and won’t lose without a fight to the death.

You inhale and puff out the air in a long sigh. The door of the Mantis swings open and the smoke-filled air hits your face again. It makes your eyes water.

You tap the blaster holster on your side. “Let’s not keep Saw waiting.”

Cere gives your posture a cursory look but settles for nodding. Greez’s eyes are wide and you realize he hasn’t seen you carrying a weapon before. Just because it wasn’t in plain sight, it doesn’t mean you’d enter shady cantinas unarmed. Greez’s expression is filled with doubt and fearful respect.

“Alright.” Cal sounds wary but decides to trust Cere’s judgment.

“Be careful out there. Both of you. Coming back in one piece is still part of the plan, right?” Cere throws dryly and fights a smile.

“Yeah, I’ll bump it up on the priority list!” Cal grimaces as if he had already forgotten and you roll your eyes. “C’mon, BD!”

Greez hmphs and paces up the Mantis’ ramp, shaking his head and muttering to himself. Cere follows him as you and Cal leave the landing zone. With hasty steps, you head to the direction of the sap refinery.

“So what do you know about the Partisans?” Cal asks in a low voice as you pass a few.

“Just rumors. They’ve got bounties on their heads. Preeetty pile of credits is resting between those shoulders.” Your eyes dart around the freedom fighters in the area and, honestly, they don’t look like much. Just normal people, but apparently they do know which end of the blaster goes where.

Cal looks at you dubiously, pondering whether to ask why you would know such a detail.

“That way, right?” You nod forward.

“Saw is up ahead,” one of the Partisans kindly offers directions towards a narrow clearing that leads to the refinery.

The path is anything but straight; filled with cut-down jungle to make way for elevator tracks from the landing zone to the sap refinery. The comfort of an elevator is nowhere to be seen so you’ll have to get your boots dirty. The swarm of flame beetles buzzing near the tree line is likely the least of what you’ll encounter further in. The short electroswords feel reassuring against your thighs. You grip the blaster handle and draw in a long breath, inconspicuously. It’s been some time since you had to fight anyone.

“Are you okay?” Cal asks and visibly fights himself to not urge you to return. Of course he would notice you psyching yourself up.

“Yeah. Let’s go!” you say. You jump down a ledge before he can say another word and Cal follows you after a beat.

The thought of trudging the jungle floor dirt turns out to be more intolerable than actually treading it with Cal. He is helpful and considerate even in the stressful and pressing situation. The list of things you wouldn’t have fun doing with him is likely as short as a rancor’s patience. And that’s another train of thought you need to crash before it reaches a finish line.

You’re jumping over endless pits, balancing over fallen tree trunks (Cal holds your hand, just in case) and finally climbing up a ramp to reach Saw Gerrera. You’re a tad out of breath when Cal reaches a hand out and pulls you up. He can certainly keep up the pace and you realize you’re dangerously starting to fall out of shape. Greez’s cooking is to blame.

“Still okay?” Cal smiles and holds you for a moment too long. His free hand falls onto your shoulder.

“Thanks. All good,” you huff and try to reach a responsive smile. Cal squeezes your shoulder in his frustratingly casual manner and you remember his touch on your neck while you should be focusing on the life or death mission ahead.

Saw Gerrera and his lieutenants are in position and you crouch to talk with them. Saw gives you an examining look before turning his attention to Cal. “Imperial sap refinery lies dead ahead.”

“What does the Empire want with tree sap?” Cal wonders and looks at the target building through the binoculars.

“Nothing good,” Saw replies.

As he starts explaining the situation and the plan, BD-1 makes a holoprojection of the area. Saw’s troops will create a distraction while Cal uses his lightsaber to rescue the enslaved Wookiees. He makes it sound so simple.

“Creating a distraction, huh? Sounds like you could use every blaster you can get,” you mark to Saw and he nods gravely.

Cal quickly turns to look at you, about to say something.

“I’m going with them,” you hurry to interrupt him.

His mouth closes, an abrupt frown flashes before it’s replaced with badly concealed worry. He knows it’s the best call in the situation.

“Beep?” BD-1 tilts his head.

“Alright. Be careful out there,” Cal says, nodding.

“You too.” You hold eye contact for a moment, but at the same time wonder what that look on his face means.

Cal and BD get on their way down when you follow the Partisans to the main entrance. Saw was right about the Imperial troopers having spread themselves too thin. The amount of resistance you face is almost ridiculous in the face of the battle-hardened Partisans. Saw Gerrera fits out to be the fiercest of them, making you wonder how far he is capable of going. The precision and rage he fights with is unmatched and sparks inspiration in his troops. You no longer wonder why they’re considered radicals by the Empire.

After the first battle, Saw asks you to play it safe in a passing comment. You don’t want to overthink his request or what he believes is between you and Cal, so you continue shooting at the Stormtroopers. The Partisans are counting their marks and the notion makes you feel uneasy. You try not to listen to their banter.

After the third earth-shaking explosion, Cal can no longer resist the urge to ask how you’re doing. Your wrist comm buzzes.

“Doing okay there?” The transmission catches a lot of background noise and it sounds like someone isn’t playing it safe.

You roll to take cover behind a ledge just when a blaster bolt flies over your head. One of the Partisans fighting next to you gets the Stormtrooper.

“A little busy… Don’t you have a job to do?” you huff into the comm device.

Cal chuckles. “I’m almost to the prison now. Just wanted to make sure you’re still safe.”

Safe is a very relative term in the situation you’re in but your stomach makes a jolt and you bite your lip. Can he not do this when you need to stay focused to avoid getting shot? Also, you’re fairly certain Cere can hear you exchange.

“You’re sweet to worry about me, but there’s really no need, Cal.”

A pause.

“Right. Sorry, I–”

“At least you both are still alive in there,” Cere joins up the conversation. “Imperial distress calls are going out across the planet. If you don’t get the prisoners soon…”

“We can do this. I promise,” Cal says decisively.

“See you when you’ve released the Wookiees, Cal,” you say and wait for the comm to snap but it stays silent.

A few moments later a small batch of Wookiees joins the fight, but your distraction group finds itself trapped behind a jammed door in a passageway filled with deadly blaster bolts. The rest of the prisons ahead are still closed and the Stormtroopers are gathering reinforcements. The situation is quickly going from dire to desperate.

“Hold on, we’re gonna get you out of there!” Cal’s voice cracks through your wrist comm.

He is on the other side of the wall, getting closer to the control room. You can just barely see flashes of his blue lightsaber through the fire and smoke. He is fighting and you can’t help the bloat of worry that suddenly rises up your throat. No matter that you’re in a life or death situation yourself.

The Wookiee cell doors suddenly blast open and roars fill the air.

“You’ve done it!” Saw yells. “The Wookiees are free! Get to the roof!”

Cal is on the other side of the glass of the control room, seemingly unharmed. He makes a small wave at you and BD stretches up to look over his head. You form them a thank you on your lips and dart after the Partisans.

By the time Cal gets to the roof, all hell is on the loose. Stormtroopers carrying flamethrowers get up close and personal with the freedom fighters. They get support fire from the upper roof, so you have to stay behind a cover but not moving means the flames will reach you any moment. Unless you deal with the blaster bolts first, you won’t have a chance. Something about the fire and the frying pan crosses your mind.

You yell at the couple nearest Partisans to focus on the enemies firing from up and take out your electroswords. They whirr to life and electric blue cracks around both rods. The handles feel familiar but weird in your hands. It’s been a while. You suppress the disabling feeling of the adrenaline and look for an opening.

When the Flame trooper retreats to reload, you close in.

Cal is running towards the same enemy, but it’s clear that you’ll reach the target first. He barely breaths and time slows as he watches you narrowly slide underneath the angry blaze and make a slicing motion at the trooper’s knees. The shower of flames turns towards the sky when the trooper starts falling and ends abruptly when the electrosword in your right hand slashes again across his chest. It’s over so fast that your brain catches up to speed when the trooper is already lying on the ground.

Cal changes his direction and leaps onto the next Flame trooper, mind void of anything but the ongoing fight and the simple thought that he was a fool to be worried about you. You’re clearly no stranger to a melee weapon.

The area is almost cleared when Imperial support arrives.

“Cal, look!” you scream and point into the air.

Cal is just finishing the last Flame trooper. He brutally kicks the enemy down and drives his lightsaber through the armor’s chest piece. He looks up, mouth hanging open in surprise.

An AT-ST walker lands with a loud thump.

“Jedi! We don’t have the firepower to breach its hull!” Saw yells. He is fighting on the upper roof which is almost cleared out of enemy troopers. The handful of the Partisans left standing, and the freed Wookiees, look for cover. Normal blaster bolts won’t make even a dent on the walker.

“We’re on it!” Cal shouts.

“Be-beep!” BD-1 confirms and tightens his grip of Cal’s back.

Cal searches and catches your gaze but doesn’t need to tell you to stay back. Your feet are already pointed at the poor shelter the nearby doorway offers. You’re going to sit this one out and focus on the rest of the troopers on rooftops so the Jedi can handle the walker.

The AT-ST sows grenades to where Cal stood just seconds ago. His lightsaber cuts red, molten streaks on the robotic legs, breaching closer to the inevitable moment when the walker will topple down. He manages to land an attack after another – all the while parrying incoming blaster fire and dodging disabling electric fields and grenade drops.

With the weapon in hand, Cal is like another person. Brutal, efficient. You’ve seen enough to fully appreciate his legwork and fluid movements in close combat. He is both raw and calculated in his attacks and you wish the troopers were gone already so you could just fully commit to staring.

You’ve never seen a Jedi fight before. Actually, you’ve never even met a Jedi before. The stories that are whispered around the galaxy do no justice to seeing the real deal hand out blows. It makes you wonder.

Cal doesn’t waste time in getting rid of the walker and the fight is over before the Partisans have the chance to watch.

Loud cheers erupt in the air. Everyone crowds around the Jedi and suddenly you feel abashed at approaching him – the new hero of the cause. Your steps heading towards Cal slow down. Saw Gerrera gets up on a platform to hold an inspirational speech:

“Everyone! These have been hard years. We’ve lost comrades, friends, family… to the Empire.” He pauses. “Dark times. And yet the fire… still burns. Hope… still burns. The Jedi are not yet lost.”

All eyes turn to Cal. Saw knows how tight the situation was. If it wasn’t for Cal, none of you would be there alive.

“We are not yet lost. Kashyyyk is not yet lost! For the cause!”

Everyone cheers. Cal looks confused but pleased from the attention. They pat his back and smile, most relieved, some awe-inspired. Words of thanks are said loud and clear. Two of the Partisans who fought beside you come to thank you for the help. You mumble that you didn’t do it to gather gratefulness.

You want to go to Cal but Saw reaches him first. They talk for a while next to the Partisans’ transport ship. Cal can feel your gaze on him and wants to wrap up the conversation quickly. Saw’s offer to join the fight is appreciated but Cal still has his own mission to finish. The mission of the Mantis crew. The mission you’re a part of.

He still hasn’t had the chance to check on you after the fight. If Saw notices how Cal’s attention keeps drawing to your presence, he says nothing. Cal is still too high on the adrenaline to care. He would take up another walker in an instant if it meant he could go and ask are you hurt. He feels an urgent need that pulls him towards you. He knows you’re alright but he needs to make sure with his own eyes, undisturbed.

While waiting for Cal to finish his conversation, you approach Mari Kosan and one of the freed Wookiees, Commander Choyyssyk.

The Wookiee Commander promises you something but you understand only a few things in Shyriiwook, which he kindly uses for clarity, so you have to look to Mari for translation. The things you would understand in Wookieespeak are very… rude in Galactic Basic: A lot of things concerning one’s ancestors and their defining traits.

“Choyyssyk says he’ll do whatever he can to find Tarfful and vouch for you,” Mari translates.

You nod gratefully. “Thank you. I’ll let Cal know.” You glance at the Jedi still exchanging words with Saw.

“Could take some time because they’re always on the move. We’ll be in touch with your ship,” Mari continues.

Choyyssyk agrees and that much you can understand. He apologizes and leaves to be with his comrades who were also imprisoned. Your heart goes out to the Wookiees. They’ve been through something you don’t think you could survive.

You’re just about to ask Mari what the Partisans will do now, when Cal calls your name and runs over to join you.

“You, you’re–” He struggles to find the words, looking rattled but happy.

“A rebel? I guess I am,” you crack to finish the sentence in case Cal is about to comment your fighting style. The less attention your backstabbing methods gain the better.

A rebel is not what Cal meant but the bloat of worry erupts into a fit of light laughter. He takes your hand from mid-air and squeezes it gently.

Your mouth forms an o. It’s hard to conceal your surprise and delight. Your hands lower down and for a moment you feel like you’re about to burst. From holding a guy’s hand. You.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Cal murmurs solemnly. He has that same look in his eyes as when you parted at the refinery entrance.

“You too, Cal. I’m glad you’re in one piece,” you reply in a hushed tone.

Mari clears her throat and awkwardly moves her weight from one foot to another. You pay her no mind but a hint of pink flushes right across Cal’s freckles.

“We should head back to the Mantis. Greez is probably freaking out,” he says and chuckles again. He lets go of you, leaving your fingers tingling pleasantly.

You huff, amused at the thought of Greez stuck in the middle of wild nature and agree: “Yes. Let’s.”

Cal turns to Mari and a look passes his face which hints that he didn’t realize she was standing with you and maybe he should’ve exercised more caution and self-control – though he doesn’t want to think about the reason why. So what if he is happy to see you survived unharmed? The uneasy feeling in his chest doesn’t agree.

“Thank you, both of you,” Mari says.

“You guys stay safe. Good luck out here,” Cal wishes.

“Will do. For the cause.” Mari raises her fist across her heart just like Saw Gerrera earlier.

Part of you hopes the elevator was still out of order since the journey back to the Mantis is way too short. Going out there to help the Wookiees with Cal was a good decision and you’re happy, but also feel an inkling; a stirring inside your chest that makes you nervous to be alone with him in the large elevator. You don’t talk. Only smile whenever your gazes cross and each time your heart makes a leap.

When the elevator stops, you’re fully aware of how much in trouble you are.

Next Chapter

Tagging: @sherniwrites @lucianhuntress @singlebecauseofthechocobros @sevansheart @owldearest @stellar-trinity @bd1babey @winchestergirl907 @thuutthuutbilly @rilakkyungsoo @lizbid33 @twistnet @fangirl-inthe-us @campmccarran @grandadmiral @droidrights @maulblr @la-vide @dej-okay

#cal kestis x reader #cal kestis #jedi fallen order #swjfo #swjfo fanfiction #star wars #cere junda #greez dritus #saw gerrera #bd-1 #my writings #dear star system

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thisislizheather · 4 years

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May Misery 2020

How is it June? Imagine that this year is just a nightmare that we’re all simultaneously having? I should use this space to be uplifting, but hope is exhausting at the current moment. All I can tell you are the things that either brought me joy or displeasure from the last month. That’s all I can do at the moment. And that’s definitely a privilege right now, I understand. I feel helpless, hopeless and like nothing is going in the right direction. This is a terrible intro, so let’s just get into all the meaningless trash that I did last month.

My brother Gary made this great video on how to make KFC gravy and you might think I’m biased, but he’s just so fun to watch. Love it so much.

I rewatched two Alfred Hitchcock movies: Rope (still such a great motive, one of his best) and Rear Window (which is average as hell, the idea of the story is so much better than the execution of the movie). Also, it made me really laugh hearing Nathan say, “If you can’t kill your wife, whose wife CAN you kill?“

Are you aware that they’re still making new flavours of M&Ms? I tried the fudge brownie flavour and I gotta say, they just taste like regular ass M&Ms.

I had completely forgotten about this amazing ricotta toast (thank you, Marla) recipe that I loved from years ago. Everyone should make it. It sounds like such a boring recipe, but it’s incredible. Of course it’s from Ina.

A great article about apologizing.

We keep making these chickpea pitas and likely won’t stop.

Months ago I bought this white poncho on sale for basically nothing because I thought this was my year of travel. Yeah. Great purchase.

I watched the Michelle Obama documentary, Becoming, and it’s obviously inspiring and great. Love the woman.

I’ve mentioned before how walnuts in pesto are way tastier than pine nuts, right? Cheaper, too. In any case, I can’t stop making this walnut pesto.

I watched the first season of Awkwafina is Nora From Queens and it’s SUCH A GOOD SHOW. Every single character is great. Perfect show.

I made this banana cake again, mostly because of that damn frosting. Even if you’re just making a regular cake, you should do it with this coffee cream cheese frosting.

Every morning for the past few weeks, I’ve been making this iced coffee protein shake (below). It might be the only thing I look forward to at this point in time. (It tastes pretty similar to a Tim Horton’s Iced Capp, just less sugary.)

I only wear one perfume (Miracle by Lancome), but I’m almost completely out of it (and won’t repurchase anytime soon since these are not the times to be buying luxurious items) so I’ve been wearing Fresh Cream by Philosophy that I got as a gift last year and I kind of love it. It makes me smell like a cake.

I’m still making these halloumi hummus bowls for lunch, but I’ve amended the recipe slightly by adding chopped basil instead of oregano and slicing up the halloumi incredibly thin since I think it tastes better when it’s crispy and thin.

Some movies that I’ve rewatched: Dazed & Confused (a forever favourite, I love a movie where the plot happens over the course of one day), Crazy Rich Asians (still fantastic, although I truly hate the bride character or actress playing her, I can’t decide), I Know What You Did Last Summer (still holds up, solid movie), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (not a great sequel at ALL, but I do love the idea of a killer on vacation), and Back To The Future (this might be the perfect movie, the script is amazing, everything is so fun, the music is epic, I also love the fact that the writers Robert Zemeckis and Bob Gale will never allow a remake or reboot during their lifetimes).

I got this cropped sweatshirt from Nordstrom that I wear approximately six days a week.

In love with this new Jackbox game that I’ve been playing with my family on Sundays: Mad Verse City.

I walked to Manhattan from Queens and wrote about it.

The peony blossom candle from Trader Joe’s smells beautiful.

The Body Shop gives you a free product worth $10 on your birthday month, so I got their tea tree body wash and I love it. What the hell did I do before tea tree?

Just learned: grating garlic is so much tastier than chopping garlic. Thank you, Bon Appetit!

I made this kung pao cauliflower and it was good as a side dish but definitely not as a main. Cauliflower as a main dish will always be offensive to me.

I watched Stephen King’s Graveyard Shift and absolutely hated it. Terrible movie. What kind of accent is that guy supposed to have???

I bought a cuticle cutter since the nail salons are still closed and I figured how hard could it be to use? Turns out: very hard. No idea how to use it on myself or anyone else for that matter.

I have been making these kale quesadillas for lunch and they’re so tasty. I just use whatever cheese I have, basil and white wine vinegar instead of champagne vinegar. Also, I omit the corn because frozen corn is always trash. Super simple recipe, too.

I watched two episodes of the Epstein documentary on Netflix and had assault nightmares that night so I thought maybe I don’t need to finish all the episodes. I’m not including the link here for it because I truly don’t think anyone needs to see it.

My friend Dusty made this great short film.

I argued with Nathan at least twice this month on camera. (And about 400 times in real life? Again, no link for that.)

My six year old nephew is beyond adorable in this video about the lockdown.

I bought these Steve Madden sandals for $22 when they were on sale the other day and I had a gift card, and I’m in love.

Forgot how good these black bean muffins are. Such a nice little snack. Ignore the fact that they sound disgusting.

Excited to hear that Tuca & Bertie are coming back for another season! (Thank you Harmeet for turning me onto this great show!)

We’ve been eating the Beyond Meat hamburger patties and they’re phenomenal. We’ve been putting this McCormick gravy on top of them and and I’ll add these pickled red onions too and wow. Heavenly. Never would’ve thought I could be into a homemade pickled onion. Growth!

This is wild and slightly horrifying.

Super interesting piece about the NYPD.

You can see my favourite tweets from the month over here.

Some things that I’d like to do this month: I promise that I will finally review the last two monthly Ipsy bags, I really want to make these salted thyme chocolate chip cookies, I want to make this midnight pasta that I heard about from Mindy Kaling, I want to read at least two books this month, I’m dying to make this ricotta jam jar, and I don’t know, maybe June won’t be a complete shitshow. Also, don’t forget about Father’s Day on the 21st. Just a reminder. If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in April over here.

And it’d be weird not to mention this at all right now, but there are so many awful and horrendous things going on, you know this. I completely support Black Lives Matter and it’s insane that there’s any kind of divide about whether you do or you don’t. It makes me sick that saying something as simple as “black people are human beings” could ever be considered complicated or political, but I guess here we are. I have no magical words to offer and I wish I did. I have no quote that’ll make everything make sense because nothing right now makes any sense. People are not being treated like human beings and it’s disgusting, it’s that simple. I don’t know what’s ahead of us, but for fuck’s sake I hope it’s better than where we’re at right now.

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#May Misery 2020 #monthly roundup post #this is liz heather #Liz Heather #black lives matter #May 2020

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