#i did most of this many moons ago and there are parts i’m still iffy about but whatever adrhkhfjsdfhjjgh

[kagoutiss]

old character ref pic i finally got around to fixing up hehe

[wynsnerdyrambles]

KNY Season 2 News Thoughts

OK, now that I've spent the whole day squealing about this news, I might actually be able to coherently give my thoughts on it. OK, let's go chronologically in series timeline:

Mugen Train TV Anime Edition:

I actually did not see this coming. Of course I'd heard the rumors that the beginning of Season 2 would be 'Mugen Train', but I brushed those rumors aside with the logic of: "Well, the movie didn't cover the entire arc, we still have some aftermath to go over, so that's probably what this is talking about." Well, I was completely wrong. Not only are we getting what I'm affectionately dubbing "Mugen Train Extended Edition", we also get an entirely anime original episode starring Kyojuro in the days leading up to the fateful mission aboard the Mugen Train. Words cannot convey how excited I am for this re-adaptation.

I've seen some press complain that it's simply milking the Mugen Train cash cow for all it's worth. While I do feel that, in regards to things like this, the financial side of things must be taken into account when determining causes of decisions; I feel there is more to this. It's a television re-adaptation of the singular most successful film in the entire history of the Japanese box office. Much like the Television specials that have been broadcast in the past, I feel that this is more a publicity move than a financial one. Instead of compiling many episodes into a few specials to air over the course of a couple of months, we instead are treated to an extended cut of the film split up into seven episodes, including a special episode starring the film's most popular character: Rengoku-san! That way, with each new episode airing weekly, hype and publicity builds to a climax for the premiere of the Entertainment District Arc. (We also get 2 new LiSA songs serving as a full OP and ED for the mini-cour, which my KNY playlist will gladly accept). Only time will tell which version of the arc will be my preferred version for viewing, but I am ready for this arc to hurt me again- in a serialized weekly format (maybe with Taisho secrets pls).

Entertainment District Arc:

So the Entertainment District Arc will start airing early December, which to be fair, is not unexpected for me. Aniplex and Ufotable had basically nothing final to show us regarding the arc back at the Aniplex Online Fest in July, so it was always iffy in my mind that we would actually get this arc in October like many people thought. A few of my main takeaways from the trailer will follow. (Manga Spoilers after the break)

I am excited by the prospect of an hour long premiere, although it makes me wonder whether the Mugen Train re-adaptation will include the aftermath scenes with Tanjiro's visit to House Rengoku. It seems odd to me to have an hour long premiere if we're just gonna jump right into the heat of this arc, especially if you consider the fact that there are plenty more episodes in this season to follow.

Daki's voice sounds perfect! Miyuki Sawashiro definitely captured the 'sultry and intimidating' air that Daki puts on when she's confident, but I wonder how she'll fare during Daki's tantrum, or during the flashbacks to Ume. I'm sure she'll do great, though it will be interesting to see the direction they take.

On a related note, I'm quite happy they seem to be keeping Gyutaro under wraps. Hopefully we can keep it that way until December! (On a vaguely Upper Moon 6 related tangent, I'm so hyped for Doma reveal during the flashbacks, purely for the eyes, and to finally get some semblance of a canon hair color for the guy).

I was initially a little sad to hear that LiSA would not be lending her vocal talents to the OP and ED for this arc, since the vocal consistency between seasons 1 and the movie was very appealing to me; but having heard that tiny snippet of it during the promotional reel, I think it fits. It's not at all what I envisioned though. I had initially envisioned a LiSA song, that was kind of tight, focusing on the suspenseful atmosphere of the arc, and the mystery. But wow, what we got is so flamboyant, and sure to be an earworm (it's already stuck in my head). I think it works, despite having taken the opposite vibe of what I expected, and Aimer seems to be an excellent choice for this song (I've loved pretty much every song of hers' I've heard).

The shots that we were treated to in this reel seemed up to par with what I've come to expect from this adaptation of KNY, and served a really good purpose as a trailer of things to come. It showed things and characters people should keep an eye on (I'm looking at you, shot of angry Nezuko).

While we've still been shown very little footage from the arc, I'm quite excited by it, as much like Mugen Train, it's a favorite of mine, and I'm ready to see what flashy magic tricks Ufotable has in store for us with this arc. I'm just hoping and praying that Daki VS. Nezuko gets the episode 19 treatment.

Well yeah, that's the end of my hopefully coherent ramblings about this news. This has maybe been the biggest day in this fandom since I joined a little over a year ago, and I'm glad I get to be a part of this with all of you. Here's to season 2!

[iaintyourbro]

Shipping Makes Me Question My Sanity

I learned about the FFVII waifu wars after playing the remake. I played the OG many moons ago, replayed it a few years ago, but really got interested in the character dynamics after playing FFVIIR. 

I foolishly looked up “Is the remake pushing Cloud and Tifa more?” I found the shipping wars... That I never knew existed. 

You see, I played the OG and it was pretty clear to me that the story went a certain way. In fact, I didn’t even associate FFVII to romance. 

FFVII was a story about a villain who was pissed off that a grunt killed him, so he finds a way to come back from the dead through clones that his father made to fuck with said grunt and get revenge on all the humans that wronged his Mother. 

(This is my explanation in as few words as possible, because we all know explaining FFVII would take multiple posts). 

So why did I look up my question about Cloud and Tifa? Well, I was shocked at how they presented them. I didn’t remember this from the OG. Like I said, I didn’t associate FFVII to romance like I did with VIII, IX, and X. Those were clear. FFVII didn’t have this as a main theme. FFVIIR created extreme sexual tension between Cloud and Tifa. 

I remember when you finally found out Cloud wasn’t a SOLDIER, that he actually DID kill Sephiroth 5 years ago, and that he did come to save Tifa - he fulfilled his promise. The part when the main theme plays and he takes his helmet off... chills. Even now, I love that part. Still, I associated this with us finally getting answers to some of the weird shit that happens earlier in the game. And I was way too young and dense to understand the Under the Highwind scene. 

Needless to say, I wanted to see if others had the same impression. It seems they did, and those posts were then overpowered by the other side. “Yeah, I used to ship Cloti, but the remake made me see that it’s clearly Aerith.” What? What did I miss? 

So I questioned my sanity a bit. I played every quest - I did both Tifa and Aerith’s discovery quests. Until the point we get back to Tifa in Wall Market, I still was kind of iffy on how they were presenting Aerith and Cloud. They removed a lot of stuff from the OG that was a bit more direct from Cloud’s end. They also removed a lot of the jealousy scenes between Tifa and Aerith. Seems they gave all the jealousy to Cloud in other scenes. 

Cloud clearly is soft with Tifa. He remembers The Promise, he calls her beautiful, you have no choice but to give her the flower. No matter what choices you make with Aerith. He still gives her the flower. He gets jealous whenever he even thinks a guy is talking about her in a romantic/sexual way.

Then I see things like “Cloud was so emotionless and mean until Chapter 8″. HOW? And this goes beyond Tifa. Cloud had a ton of character growth during the first 3 chapters, and it continued on until Chapter 8. This was not something where he suddenly turned nice to Aerith. He had a ton of people help him out before.

Take Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie. Cloud was a dick to them. I mean, he really was. I was sad for Wedge, cuz I think he’s so nice, and Cloud was just mean to him. By the end of Chapter 4, he’s much nicer to them. He’s left out of their celebration, and I think maybe this was a reference to him as a child. He thought he was better than the other kids (except Tifa). He treated everybody like shit (except Tifa) in the first three chapters and Barret told him to gtfo. 

Jessie made sure to let him know she wanted him there. Now, I’m not a fan of how thirsty Jessie is. I mean they REALLY slam it on you how bad she wants to get with Cloud. Cloud then says what I was thinking “Are you seriously that desperate?!” Yes, she is, and it’s obnoxious, but I think it’s a hilarious addition to the story. However, I think it was a light bulb moment that he would be included if he was a bit nicer to people.

Cloud and Barret start getting along more as time goes on as well. This is all before Chapter 8. So I actually have commented on these posts... “Did you play the first 7 chapters? Did you play the rest of the game?” There’s so many points during FFVIIR where Cloud clearly has character development outside of what Tifa and Aerith do. 

They ignore this. That’s my issue. The ignore everything else in the story. They ignore reality, so that makes people like me question themselves.

It reminds me of a personal situation with my job. We had a really bad leader. Like, cruel, mean. And he got away with it for a long time. You can say, “just leave”, but I think anybody with a family knows that’s not as easy as it sounds. Not when you rely on your job for not only income, but benefits, retirement, and stability. Not when changing buildings causes months of legit mental breakdowns (imagine changing companies completely?). So, it wasn’t really an option.

The worst part during all of that was knowing and seeing the reality of what was going on and having people flat out try to tell me that what I was seeing wasn’t true. I had conversations with other co-workers who started to question their sanity. Is it us? Are we the problem? Are we wrong? What are we missing? And that’s tough, especially when it goes on for so long.

In the real life example, there was a resolution earlier this year, where finally the guy was fired. And a lot of people were fighting him. More than you’d think. But they were scared, so they had to be careful. This is real life, not a game, so the stakes were much higher. The truth all comes out after this type of thing, and it was actually worse than we thought. There was a lot we missed, and a lot we just weren’t aware of. We weren’t crazy - there was just a group of his followers trying to brainwash us in to thinking he was great. 

The shipping wars give me the same feelings I had during that. I question my sanity and don’t get what I’m missing. This is beyond how you interpret the LTD. This is legit ignoring parts of the story as it’s presented. SE put these Cloti moments throughout the Remake to make a point. They have Aerith say things to make a point. They even have Aerith stop making moves on Cloud after Tifa comes back and she sees the obvious “thing” between them.

There are tons of analysis on multiple scenes and how Cloud reacts. Facial expressions tell a lot, so does voice acting. There are reasons they put these scenes in. There are reasons they are part of the main story and not part of side quests. There are reasons that the devs responded the way they did in interviews. 

The Ultimania clearly talks about Cloud’s feelings. The OG talks about them. 

So why do I still feel upset when I see these? Well, for one, the posters that say “I was a Cloti until..” in most cases are probably shipping the other side, but this is a great way to make people question themselves. It may make new fans not enjoy the story as much.

Then you have Twitter. And it’s a shame, because there’s some great fanart on Twitter. But, you can’t search for “tifa” without seeing some really bad posts. And it’s the same accounts over and over. There isn’t a large amount. 

The entire goal of these posters is to fight people who don’t agree with them. They also start posting similar complaints about a week after the Cloti side makes them.

The most recent being that Cloti fans are going after Nojima and it’s not going to change anything. What? I saw a similar post about the C////erith side about a week or two ago. Why are Cloti’s going after Nojima? So I went through some of his posts. I found one where he posted about FF7R. The only Cloti posts I saw were thanking him. The C///erith ones were over the top trying to say how it was all C///erith and there was no Cloti in the remake. One even said that “millions of fans want Aerith to survive.” No, I’d say the majority of fans want the original plot points to stay. 

Nojima himself liked a fanart of himself... where they called him the Cloti king.

So where are the Cloti’s going after Nojima? I only saw praise... 

The next new one is that C///eriths aren’t racist and Cloti’s are. I’ve seen this argument in reverse as well. It seems they scope out some things and repost them in the opposite argument. 

I just don’t understand the extreme nature. You can ship who you want, but you can’t erase parts of the story to make it work. Why even bother playing the game? The romance aspect is SO SMALL in the OG. 

In the remake its a bit heavier, but it’s different times. Sex sells. Let’s add some spice to the game, and they did. I felt no sexual tension between Cloud and Aerith. Jessie tried HARD. The only mutual tension felt was between Cloud and Tifa. That deep, dear lord please do something to release this tension, feeling. Cloud and Aerith had cute little moments similar to a Disney movie or a kids movie. Tifa and Cloud had the moments you see in more mature things. 

Some of these moments are optional - the resolution scene you can technically avoid every time you play if you choose to. The Clotiscrew tunnel roll is a bit harder unless you KNOW you can avoid it and/or are terrible at the game. You literally have to try hard to mess up to not get that scene. 

The Clotiscrew tunnel scene is also hilarious to watch people react to. Cuz you do feel like you need to take a quick walk to cool off from that heat. Even my husband who doesn’t give a shit was like “wow, yeah, okay, that’s... intense.” 

It didn’t have to be, it could have been a roll and release, but he holds her and says “You okay?” in that soft af voice THAT HE ONLY USES ON HER. Her response is equally sexy. Then they get up and stare. Once again, not necessary.

All the “unnecessary” touching that goes on is fun to point out. People are still finding moments, I think. During battles, in the background during other scenes. They’re making this a point. They make it a point to show shots of those two during other scenes in the game. They aren’t being subtle anymore. 

So I don’t understand how you can erase all of that. 

The other side has a small group that is completely shitting on Tifa to do it. I don’t see that as much on the Cloti side towards Aerith. I’m not saying it doesn’t exist, I bet it does, but it’s not as easy to find. Almost EVERY shipping fight has something about Tifa’s boobs, Tifa not telling Cloud about his past, something. They make stuff up in some cases.

All of this is a way to recruit people to their side. To “convert” them. I feel bad for the streamers who like Tifa and you see a group come in to try and “correct” that thought. Why do they care so much? 

Maximillian Dood doesn’t seem affected by those opinions - he’s a great supporter of Tifa as a character. He was very happy with the way they handled the remake, and that says a lot. He also has some great reactions to parts of the game. He also is a more experienced streamer, it seems.

My thoughts are... the Remake has blown expectations on how it was supposed to go. Probably a lot of fans assumed they’d make a point to build up Aerith as the love interest... but they didn’t. Tifa is in almost every chapter (2 is the exception). She is referenced multiple times in Wall Market - especially if you actually listen to the lyrics for Midgar Blues. Why place that song in during that part? 

So we go to the attack mode of survival here. They’re going to change as many opinions as possible. They’re going to make people question themselves. Make people feel bad. 

The reality is, there’s a clear cut story - they’re making it that way. There’s multiple hints that there isn’t going to be a love triangle. There’s multiple hints that Zack is going to be a thing in the Remake. They’ve definitely put it on more heavy that Aerith still loves Zack. 

I can only hope that things are made clear. That this can stop. I still say people should ship who they want. Hell, I ship Vincent and Lucrecia (this was my only romantic love in the OG back then...). However, canon is that Hojo and Lucrecia married and had a child. I wanted Vincent to secretly be the father so bad, but he’s not. That doesn’t ruin the game for me, at all. 

It would ruin the game for me, in a sense, if they completely pull a 180 in Part 2 and try to “remove” all of the stuff from Part 1 from a character dynamics perspective. It would feel wrong for Aerith to tell Cloud not to fall in love with her, tell him that everything isn’t real if he does, and also have her back off completely after Tifa is back, and then all of a sudden throw herself at him. It would erase all the friendship scenes between Tifa and Aerith.

And how could you just “turn off” Cloud’s attentive nature to Tifa? It wouldn’t make sense. It would ruin it for me because that is legit trying to erase parts of the story.

I don’t think that will happen. But I still get anxious when I see shit on the internet.

[starwarsnonsense]

Best Films of 2019 (So Far)

It’s that time of year again! As most of my followers probably know, I’m an avid cinema-goer beyond Star Wars. I also quite enjoy making lists, so what’s better than a combo of the two? Below, I run down my top 10 films of 2019 so far - please note that this list is based on UK cinema release dates, so some of these films were 2018 releases elsewhere.

What are your favourites so far from this year? Let me know in replies/asks!

Honourable mentions: Toy Story 4, Long Shot, Aladdin, Alita: Battle Angel & The Kid Who Would Be King

1. The Favourite, dir. Yorgos Lanthimos

This completely wowed me - it features a trio of magnificently compelling female characters (played by Olivia Colman, Rachel Weisz and Emma Stone) operating at the court of Queen Anne (Colman is Anne, Weisz and Stone are courtiers), and is focused solely on the shifting sands of the power dynamics between them. The script is savage without sacrificing poignancy, witty without ceasing to be genuine. And while I’ve seen some react to this film as a comedy (and it certainly has laughs, most of which are closely tied to shock), for me it was very clearly a drama about the inscrutable and complicated relationships that exist between women. Specifically, it is about how those relationships run the gamut from sincere affinity to ruthless manipulation. This is an amazing movie, and it also has the best use of an Elton John song in 2019 (sorry, Rocketman!).

2. Midsommar, dir. Ari Aster

I went into this film with reservations, since I wasn’t a huge fan of Hereditary (by the same director), which I found to have extraordinary moments but iffy execution overall. This movie, however, wowed me, and I am still uncertain as to whether this or The Favourite is my top film of 2019 so far (fortunately, this gives me a good excuse to watch Midsommar three or four times in cinemas). While marketed as a freaky cult horror film, the director has described it as a fairy tale, which is the level on which is spoke to me. Midsommar follows Dani (an incredible Florence Pugh), a young woman who has suffered a terrible loss, as she travels with her boyfriend and his friends to a pagan festival in the Swedish countryside. Dani is painfully isolated, and her grief is hers to shoulder alone since her boyfriend is un-receptive and distinctly unprepared to help her. Over the course of the film, destruction and creation are conflated in ways that are frequently beautiful and horrific at the same time - this film spoke to me on a profound level, and the way it ended gave me a sense of incredible catharsis. This won’t be for everyone, for I found it to be a deeply special film and I can’t recommend it enough.

3. One Cut of the Dead, dir.  Shinichirou Ueda

While I went into The Favourite with high expectations given the talent involved, I went into this with no expectations whatsoever - and what a treat it was! One Cut of the Dead is easily one of the funniest movies I’ve seen in ears, taking what initially seems like a trite concept (a crew is filming a zombie movie at a desolate location ... only to discover that the zombies are real!) and twisting it in a truly ingenious way. The comedy is often of the broad variety, but it is consistently delightful and always manages to avoid becoming crass - the movie even has some really sweet family dynamics at the centre of it, which gives it some real emotional heft. The success of this film is heavily reliant on a major twist that occurs part-way through, so the best advice I can give you is to stay as far away from spoilers for this one as possible - go in blind, and you will be amply rewarded for your faith.

4. The Farewell, dir. Lulu Wang

I saw this following a wave of festival hype, so while I was excited I was also a bit apprehensive (since I have been burned by the aforementioned festival hype before). Thankfully, my doubts were blown away as this turned out to be just as wonderful as the early reviews had suggested. It’s a personal story about a young Asian-American woman (Awkwafina) struggling to reconcile her heritage with her current situation and values - specifically, she is tested when her grandmother is diagnosed with terminal cancer and the wider family make the decision to hide the truth from her. The Farewell does a fantastic job of generating empathy for all the different perspectives and positions in play, but it’s truly anchored by Awkwafina’s amazingly nuanced and tender performance - basically, anyone who’s ever loved a grandparent should leave this feeling incredibly moved and inspired. The themes of The Farewell are both specific to the Asian-American experience and general to anyone who has struggled with maintaining bonds over a vast distance, whether physical or cultural.           

5. Booksmart, dir. Olivia Wilde

God, how I wish I’d had this movie as a teenager! While Booksmart has a cliched premise - two high-achieving teens decide to have one wild night before graduation - it tells the story in an incredibly charming and impressively creative way (I won’t spoil it, but let me just say this - that scene with the Barbies!). As someone who was an awkward nerd with no discernible social life in high school (as you Americans call it), I found this portrayal of that peculiar limbo period very sensitive and thoughtful - it doesn’t mock or shame its heroines for being studious, and it allows them to have limits and step back from situations that make them uncomfortable. It also serves as a beautifully honest portrait of a friendship, depicting the qualities that bring people together in friendship together in the first place, as well as the forces that can break people apart. This is a very accomplished debut from Wilde, and it makes me very excited to see where she goes next as a director.

6. A Private War, dir. Matthew Heineman

This was a very suspenseful and tightly focused film about an extraordinary woman, and the film soars on the strength of Rosamund Pike’s incredible performance as Marie Colvin. She provides piercing insights into the psyche of a person so driven to pursue truth and enact change that she loses all concern for her own wellbeing - it’s simultaneously a portrait of heroism and obsession, and it’s impressive for how it handles the ambiguity inherent in Colvin’s choices. She’s exceptionally brave, but the film is unflinching in depicting the costs of her bravery. It left me feeling inspired to learn more about Colvin’s life and work, and I still need to watch the documentary Under the Wire to get more insight into the real story behind the film.

7. Fighting With My Family, dir. Stephen Merchant

This is the year of Florence Pugh - she killed it in Midsommar, and she is just as fantastic here. If anything, Fighting With My Family and Midsommar make great complements as they serve as fantastic showcases for Pugh’s range as an actor. While her character in Midsommar is fragile and vulnerable, Fighting With My Family is a platform for her strength and comedic skill. As Paige, Pugh is instantly likable and compelling - I don’t give a damn about any form of wrestling, but this film (and Pugh specifically) did a fantastic job of drawing me in and making me root for Paige’s struggle to prove herself as a legitimate force in wrestling. This is a real underdog story, and Pugh did a wonderful job as the Cinderella of the WWE.

8. Apollo 11, dir. Todd Douglas Miller

My dad has always been crazy about the space program, but I hadn’t picked up the bug myself. That changed after I watched this extraordinary documentary, which brought the Apollo 11 mission to vivid life. The footage that’s used for this documentary is extraordinarily crisp, and some moments are vividly powerful - the crew getting into their spacesuits, the swirl of fire surrounding the moment of takeoff, and the journey of the spacecraft towards the moon. It left me feeling moved and touched by human potential, especially when you remember that this all happened 50 years ago when the available technologies were so fragile and primitive. I also loved how the footage was allowed to speak for itself, with no voiceover or exposition - it’s a must-see for anyone who’s ever looked up at the stars and wondered about reaching them.

9. High Life, dir. Claire Denis

This movie is second to only Midsommar in terms of how weird it is. I saw this in a Hungarian cinema while on holiday, which made for a disorientating experience in itself. While the meaning of the film is quite elusive and I’m sure that many people will find viewing it a uniquely frustrating experience, I appreciated how it created a hothouse environment that brought out some of the ugliest aspects of humanity. Robert Pattinson was great as what comes closest to amounting to our protagonist, though he is as inscrutable and inaccessible as the film itself. I can’t quite pin down why I liked this one so much, but I know I did and it made me want to seek out more of Claire Denis’ work. 

10. Free Solo, dir. Jimmy Chin & Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi

It’s tragic that most people will only watch this documentary on a TV screen (or, so much worse, a laptop!). I was fortunate enough to see it in its full IMAX glory, and it’s rare to see any film - let alone a documentary - take such full advantage of the format. The woozy spectacle of this film is the real star, though the subject - mountain climber Alex Honnold - is also fascinating with his unnerving detachment from the magnitude of what he is setting out on. It is clearly a necessary detachment for him to be able to achieve what he achieves, but I appreciated how the filmmakers questioned it and explored its impact on his girlfriend. This is a compelling documentary, and is worth watching even if you’re not usually a fan of the genre.

[bemused-writer]

VNC Chapter 38.5 Meta

There was so much packed into this chapter! I am very excited... At any rate, here there be spoilers!

The first thing I want to go over is the demonic vampiric kiss because this is actually becoming a theme now.

In my last review I was talking about the similarity between Naenia trying to kiss Noé and Naenia trying to kiss Chloé and how this is usually associated with demons sealing a deal or with weddings where you exchange bits of your soul with a kiss.

Well, now we have another parallel only this time it’s between Naenia kissing Chloé (chapter 38.5) and Vanitas kissing Jeanne (chapter 4). The two scenes are visually very similar for starters but before each event we see the person on the receiving end lose their power:

Both Chloé and Jeanne find themselves suddenly unable to thwart someone they normally wouldn’t have any trouble with at all and my theory is that Naenia and Vanitas are using a similar power (though Vanitas’s would stem from Vanitas of the Blue Moon while Naenia’s would be inherent).

This also emphasizes, to me, that Vanitas kissing Jeanne wasn’t just ... some random inclination. We know Vanitas of the Blue Moon was obsessed with Jeanne. We know Naenia, a powerful vampire, has the ability to halt Chloé in her tracks. Could this be indicating that there really is something wrong with Vanitas outside of already acknowledged misogyny? This could be further evidence that Vanitas really is switching personalities, that we aren’t just seeing him but someone else’s imprint on him. If so, it’s got to be his mark of possession that is causing it.

It’s something to keep an eye on at the very least but Vanitas’s kiss was reminiscent of Naenia’s ability, the ability that could very likely be messing with a vampire’s name or soul. I don’t think Vanitas was quite capable of that with Jeanne (unless we start to see otherwise) but symbolically I think that was exactly what he was going for.

We should also consider when Vanitas said this: “The onset of her illness is widening the area she can influence, and she’s pulling in every living creature within reach.”

I think that illness was caused by Naenia when she kissed her. Chloé was bleeding afterwards and only lost control afterwards as well, so whatever Naenia did to her it was potent.

Another thing I wonder about is Vanitas’s word use here:

Naenia has forced the “onset” on Chloé. “Onset” either means “the beginning of something” or an “assault or attack.” Either would make sense here but I’m inclined to think it means the beginning of what comes next: the destruction of the surrounding area. I can’t quite make out the Japanese text here, so if anyone has some further insight let me know!

We also finally have Naenia’s identify 100% confirmed: she is the queen, specifically Queen Faustina. I still have to wonder who the individual lying in the bed that Loki was talking to was though. I mean, is she dead? Is Naenia a wandering spirit? But if that’s the case how was she given physical form...?

Also, so far this means Naenia is not Vanitas of the Blue Moon as I had originally guessed. Of course, we don’t know for certain if VotBM is even dead. We see Misha in a flashback screaming at Vanitas for killing her but ... how dead is she? Perhaps she has merged with our Vanitas in some way...?

Still, Naenia, and therefore Queen Faustina, is ridiculously powerful. Actually, Queen Faustina seems a lot more powerful than Naenia:

She knocked Jean-Jacques aside without even a glance at him. Meanwhile, Naenia herself has to steal names in order to do much of anything. But! Something Vanitas said makes me wonder if there’s some kind of difference: “Chloé d’Apchier’s malnomen protects her by generating a sealed space.”

This seems to suggest that malnomen can be independent from the vampire, which would explain why Chloé seemed so unaffected by being cursed. Perhaps that is what’s going on with the queen as well? Naenia is both a part and separate from her? Once she’s destablilized, Naenia doesn’t recall anything whatsoever:

She’s less powerful now but Chloé is still very much a problem: she’s inadvertently destroying everything in the area.

Moving on to Vanitas and Noé now. A lot has happened with these two this chapter and there are a lot of parallels to previous chapters once more. For example, this idea of Vanitas falling and Noé being there to catch him, one of the biggest background themes of the series:

If we compare this to chapter 1 there are a lot of similarities visually. In chapter one, Vanitas is hit by some falling rubble, he loses consciousness, falls, and Noé leaps after him so he can save him. Here, Vanitas became ... lightheaded? He wasn’t obviously hit by anything at all. There’s some indication he’s still sick though, so that might be what did it. Either way, Noé goes leaping to his rescue once again without a second thought.

But there’s another parallel between this and chapter 1: both times, as Noé is falling, he’s greeted with a portent.

In chapter 1, the blue moon signifies he’s about to become very wrapped up in these matters, to say the least. It also features Teacher, remarking on how Noé isn’t the least bit afraid of it, to which Noé responds to his eyes it’s “quite beautiful.” In other words, as he’s falling he is given a sign: this person he’s chasing after is deeply connected to the blue moon and he’s going to get attached even if it doesn’t make any sense to, just as it makes no sense for a vampire of the red moon to chase after and admire the blue.

As for this chapter it’s less symbolic and more blatant. Noé is falling and trying to grab Vanitas once more. It takes a little longer this time but he still manages it. On the way, he’s greeted by a member of Charlatan who speaks an awful lot like Louis with the whole “You can’t save anyone” business. Maybe this is Louis; he seems to have an unexpected interest in Noé and wants him to hurry up and join them already. Who knows?

But the important bit (for now) is Noé is being given another sign: he can’t save Vanitas forever. Personally, I can’t help but wonder what Mochizuki is going to do in the end. Having the message of the series be “you can’t save everyone” is a harsh one (albeit true) and it would really change who Noé is as a person. Would she really go for that...?

At any rate, we’re spared having to deal with that for the time being because Noé manages to save him once more.

I also just want to point out that Noé is in business/battle mode once more. He’s making sure Vanitas is okay but he’s not exactly gentle about it:

Definitely reminiscent of the catacombs arc once more. XD

Anyway, Vanitas definitely doesn’t seem to be doing well as we can see from Noé’s observation here:

So, his health seems iffy at best, I’d say and Naenia definitely had an effect on him. I think the sheer force of her ability, the strain of what they’re going to have to do to win, the fact he knows how hopeless the situation appears, is all starting to pile up, not to mention he was pretty ill only a few chapters ago.

Another parallel to the catacombs arc is that Vanitas doesn’t tell Noé what he knows until it’s a bit too late.  The other problem is that Vanitas is often vague and Noé dislikes that as well but I digress.

All of this leads to what I would say is hands down the most honest sentiment Vanitas has made this so far in this series.

“Just how many times do you think I’ve nearly been killed by vampires?”

I mean, the fact he’s even telling Noé any of this is a testament to how frustrated and unwell he is; these are some of Vanitas’s most personal feelings. He told Noé once he thinks humans and vampires are equally rotten but I had wondered about that. Turns out, Vanitas does have issues with vampires specifically and that makes a lot more sense. Vampires murdered his family, which led to him being stuck with Moreau, which led him to being marked by a vampire, which may have then led to him having some other issues we don’t know about since we don’t know the full extent of what the mark of possession even does. Along the way he’s been abused by vampires and it’s all left a mark. As much as he likes Noé there’s still a part of him that can’t let go of what he’s learned in life: you can’t fully trust them.

There’s probably also the more basic stigma between vampires and humans to consider as well. Judging by how vampires treat dhampirs there may be some actual truth to what Vanitas is saying. Many vampires do not view humans all that highly and probably wouldn’t listen to them. I think this is all a big part of why Vanitas tries (but fails) to maintain some kind of distance between him and Noé. I’m curious to see how that continues from here on.

Anyway, one of his examples is Ruthven and we all know that Noé completely disagrees with how flippant Vanitas can be with his life, so I wasn’t surprised to see that lead to another headbutt. XD

But once again, Noé shows Vanitas that he’s different. Noé doesn’t forcibly drink his blood, Noé doesn’t belittle his desire for revenge, and now Noé proclaims to trust what Vanitas tells him.

Is it any wonder Vanitas is having a hard time knowing what to do with this? XD Noé goes against everything he thinks he knows is true and after awhile anyone would grow tired of having to constantly reevaluate their own values and belief system. His declaration that Noé “really ticks him off” and the fact he’s kicking him (I mean, Noé started that with the headbutts, so...) is all symbolic of how hard a time he’s having with him. He doesn’t know what to make of Noé whatsoever but I am curious to see if he starts confiding his hunches to him from now on. That will let us know if any of this stuck.

After all that exertion yelling at Noé, Vanitas appears back to normal according to Noé:

It’s all very “Amok Time.”

Anyway, if there’s one thing Vanitas knows for sure it’s that Noé refuses to give up about anything, probably the one thing he knows about Noé he’s semi comfortable with.

Of course, now we have Roland and the chasseurs finally joining the fray and I’m very curious to see how all that turns out! I’m sure Roland will dish out hugs or something equally repugnant to Vanitas. At least Noé will be happy. XD I’m also looking forward to finally seeing how he gets along with Astolfo; that’s been something I’ve wondered about for a while now!

[fancifulwritings]

The Song Remains The Same

Chapter Eleven

“Bring him back.” Robert spoke as he tossed a set of keys to John Paul. Calypso followed him out the door to an older looking car. She wasn’t too surprised to see Robert owning a classic car. It fit him so naturally.

“Would you mind if I drove?” John Paul asked. Calypso just shook her head. How could she demand to drive?

“I haven’t driven on this side of the ocean, or the street, yet. You probably should.” She replied as she got into the passenger’s seat. It would only make sense for him to drive. She had yet to drive in England. On top of having no real clue where they were going, it felt a little bit dangerous.

The way back might be a whole different story, though. If it came down to comforting John Bonham, a man she had never met and should never have met, or driving, she might just pick the latter. That is, assuming John Paul even gave her the choice. She just didn’t think that the other John would be a man she could handle. This was all so much for her. Him? She didn’t want to think how he might react to it.

At first, the car ride was silent. Calypso looked out the window, simply amazed with the countryside. It was something she wanted to explore. Walking around and just feeling herself in nature was one of her favorite past times. Perhaps, in a few days, she could con Robert into bringing her.

That was a dream all itself. Her and Robert just lost in the woods, wondering around. No doubt it was something he did back in the day. Now might have been iffy. There was no excuse now. It would be a good reason to get out of the house. If they were stuck with houseguests, Calypso had no doubt Robert would want to get away.

If she was going to be trapped here, she wanted to enjoy it. Not that she thought this was a trap. Not that she was even sure she would be invited to stay. Everything was so uncertain. Nothing made sense anymore and she was filled with doubt. Before, it had been a guaranteed week with Robert. Now, there was a floating promise of forever. That had hardly been signed though, hardly even spoken.

Perhaps this was what it had been like back in the day. Attached to one of the boys, never sure when they were going to leave. It wasn’t a pleasant ledge to be on. But, for Robert, she assumed that she had to be there. Hoping and praying he would keep her, for at least a little while.

“I’m sorry, about all of this,” she said softly after a bit. She turned to look at John Paul. The silence had gotten to her. It had been eating away slowly at her insides. Being trapped alone in her thoughts was too much.

This wasn’t like Robert. He was a man she had felt instantly at ease with. John Paul was practically a stranger. A man she only knew from pictures and some clips. Suddenly, he was a human and he was very much real. And she needed to get to know him. They’d likely be spending a lot of time together.

She didn’t blame him for the silence that had fallen over them. Just like her, he had a lot to take in. Not only was he young again, but so was his wife. What of his children? What of them? There were so many questions to ask. While they had the time in the world to ask, they had to worry about Jimmy. If she thought this was a lot for herself, she could only imagine what might be racing through the boys’ minds.

“Don’t be, you’ve done nothing,” John Paul answered. It took him a few minutes, but eventually he spoke. Something told her that he was a bit more calculated. At least, with people he didn’t know he was. Around Robert and Jimmy, he had seemed a bit more off the cusp. Someone in the band had to be a bit more thoughtful with their words.

“In the end, this all comes back to me,” she said softly. If she hadn’t stuck around Robert, this never would have happened. It wasn’t like this had happened the first night. She’d been too greedy.

If she had just left… It had taken a few days for everything to set into motion. She had stayed too long. Calypso could only think that she had been too greedy in what she wanted. How couldn’t she feel like this? Jimmy had said, in rather clear terms, that this had been before of her.

“You had no way of knowing. You didn’t ask for this, none of us did. No one knew or asked besides Jimmy. He’s the only one to blame for this. The only one that owes anyone an apology,” he said simply. It felt final. Like his word was law and pushing this wouldn’t go well.

Perhaps this was what he did with his kids. Perhaps this is how he managed the boys in the band. Perhaps Calypso was the one using him as a therapist and she knew he was right, deep down. She still felt the need and desire to apologize, to take the blame. It certainly didn’t seem like Jimmy would do either.

Underneath all her general unease, she could feel that there was something calming about John Paul. She still felt a bit off. But, she believed she wouldn’t always feel like that. Eventually, she figured, he would be the one in the group that calmed her the most. Both Robert and Jimmy set her off, just in opposite directions.

Robert drew her in, made her curious, made her want to know everything and anything she could. He gave her a strange bit of confidence that she never felt before. Made her want to spill all of her secrets as well. But, whenever he was around him, she felt like she was teetering on the edge of some cliff. It was dangerous and intoxicating.

Jimmy made her want to run and hide. There was just something in him that scared her off. There was a darkness just under the surface, lurking, and she didn’t want to touch it. Perhaps it was just how he came off. There was still time for things to change. She didn’t want to brush him off from the beginning.

If Robert had come to be close with Jimmy, he couldn’t be all bad. Maybe it only took time. Jimmy seemed to be like an acquired taste. From what he said, Calypso now would have all the time in the world.

“I doubt you’ll ever find him apologizing for it. The bastard rarely ever does. Never thinks he’d done anything wrong, a perfect bloody angel in his own eyes,” John Paul mumbled. He sounded just a tad bit bitter.

“It’s just something to add to an ever growing list, it seems,” he said with a shrug. “Not that any of us are perfect, we all have our faults and failures,” he chuckled. His laugh said he knew too much. Calypso had already figured that. Having spent all those years in Zeppelin, she really only could imagine what shenanigans he had seen; what sort of trouble he had been up to himself.

“In place of his apology, I hope you’ll accept mine. In his own time, I am sure Robert will give you his own as well,” he said. He sighed as she shook his head. “I am sorry you got dragged into this, into the eye of the hurricane. It’s not always for the faint of the heart, it never really was.”

Calypso didn’t quite understand why he was sorry. It wasn’t that she felt hurt, or betrayed. This was the adventure of a lifetime. One that really shouldn’t be possible. The only reason she felt bad was them.

They had moved on from this part of their lives. They had all grown and changed as men. Well, perhaps except for Jimmy. If Robert’s words held any truth in them. Jimmy had never moved past the age he now appeared. For the rest of them, to suddenly be young again had to be a shock. A damage to the person they had now become.

“I can only imagine what’s going to happen from here on out. You have a first row seat to the opposing forces of nature that Robert and Jimmy are,” he said. She could only nod, hoping he might speak more. He had direct insight to what life could look like.

It had to be hard, living between those two egos. She’d never lie and say, or even imply, that Robert didn’t have one. Because he did. There was no way around it. To be a star and to be constantly compared to a god created one. Robert had not only lived in that environment; he had thrived in it.

In time, she had no doubts she would see the ego. It just hadn’t appeared yet. They were in the honeymoon phase of their relationship. It was odd to think that that they even had a relationship.

“You don’t need to apologize, either,” she said after a moment. It seemed he was done talking for the moment. The conversation was just naturally slow. Neither of them were moving fast. It was pleasant, a change of pace. She liked that. The space in between their words was perfect. It wasn’t quite the same as the space with Robert.

With Robert, it had felt like a game of chess. This wasn’t that. It was more mellow. They just simply needed their time to think. Without the rush to reply, they could mull over what they wanted to say.

They didn’t know each other too well. Even though she hadn’t known Robert for long, she already felt a certain closeness. That made more sense now. With John Paul, she didn’t have that. They were just getting to know each other. They had to think things over as to not offend the other, to make sure they would be perfectly understood.

At least, that’s what she was assuming. Everything she thought was her just working on an assumption. Hopefully, it wouldn’t prove to make an ass out of her. If Robert didn’t want her around… She wouldn’t be able to stay.

If he wanted her gone, she would have no other choice. His initial backlash against it all worried her. If she was forced to leave, she’d be spending a very long life alone. That worry she pushed down, for now. It was manageable. Suddenly being young again had to be tough, had to work a toll on one’s mind.

It wasn’t until Robert told her to go would she begin to worry. Robert had only been warm and welcoming thus far. She assumed he would stay that way, for at least a little while longer.

“I know I don’t have to apologize,” John Paul chuckled a little. “But I want to extend that apology. I knew what I was signing up for, all those years ago. Something crazy and equally as impossible. For fuck’s sake, Keith Moon foresaw it going terrible, and look where his own life led him,” he said. Another good humored laugh left his lips.

Undeniable, John Paul was relaxing. There was still a bit of edge in the air, but after their day, who could blame them? If she was going to spend a lot of time around them, around the band, she was sure a decent amount would be spent with him.

“But still, I knew I was in for the long haul, that it would take my whole life. You signed up for a night, or a few, of fun.” A huff left Calypso’s mouth. There was an implication in his statement that she didn’t like. That all she was good for was that simple night of fun.

“Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” he chuckled. “Perhaps, when I really was this age, I might have an issue with you, or the girls like you. I’ve grown up a bit since then. I’m a little less naïve about my friends. They, the girls that is, weren’t the homewrecker. It was the boys that were,” he said. “And Robert hardly has any home left to wreck.”

“But, anyways, I digress,” he spoke with a wave of his hand. “I knew what I was signing up for. You didn’t, hardly could. You didn’t think of the long term game because there wasn’t going to be one, wasn’t supposed to be, was there?” John Paul said as he glanced at her. She just nodded.

In her heart, she knew he was right. There was no avoiding that. At the end of the week, she was supposed to be leaving. Shipped off to America to reminiscence about all of this. Now, she couldn’t. From the beginning, it had been meant to be short. This wasn’t supposed to be a long term thing.

Calypso wasn’t a fool. She hadn’t set out to rope Robert Plant into a relationship with her. That idea had long since passed. He likely hadn’t wanted to settle down with someone; his life was already mostly figured out. She had set out to snag him, for only a brief time. Get close and spend what she could with him. Staying hadn’t been a thought, much less an option.

“And for that, I am sorry. Sorry that you’ve been dragged into this crazy shit show of a circus. Even the Stones don’t have to deal with this,” he said with a laugh. He parked the car and Calypso was briefly amazed.

The car ride had seemed to pass in the blink of an eye. She’d been too engulfed in John Paul and their conversation. Their conversation had revealed quite a lot about him in just a few words.

Once he got out of the car and began to walk, she quickly followed behind him. “I come here quite a bit.” He said simply as she joined him. “I like to fill in my old friend on life, tell him about his kids and my kids and everything of the like.” John walked with his hands in his pockets. His voice carried the soft tone of sadness. This wasn’t something he wanted to do. He thought it was something he shouldn’t have to be doing. His friend should still be here.

“I know the others don’t come here often, or at all. I’ve invited Robert a few times, and he just won’t come. Can’t come,” he said with a shrug. “I know it hurts, Rob especially. Not coming here hurts more for me. It feels like I’m abandoning him, pretending like he’s not still there. I don’t want that,” he said.

Calypso understood what he meant. Gong to visit her mother’s grave hurt. It cut deep like no knife really ever could. But, not going felt worse. Like she was trying to pretend it had never happened, like she had never existed.

“I miss staying up to the crack of dawn just talking,” he said softly while walking. Calypso didn’t dare say anything. This was an intensely private moment for him. It wasn’t her time to put her two cents in. “This is one thing I truly hope Jimmy got right, with all of this. Everything else, and anyone else, be damned,” he said.

“I don’t know how the others will fair if he didn’t, let alone how I’ll do,” he muttered.

They walked for just a bit, not talking after that. There didn’t seem to be much else to say. She couldn’t comfort him, at least not yet. If they couldn’t find Bonham, then she naturally would have to. He would be the first of many people she would need to comfort. That was a bridge to cross when it was built though.

Unaware he had stopped walking, Calypso continued a few more feet in front of him. She looked up and around, trying to figure out what had caused him to just stop. Then she saw it. Her mouth fell open and she gasped.

There was a sleeping man on top of a grave. Form this distance, Calypso couldn’t be sure it was Bonham. She wouldn’t want to say it was until they were practically on top of him. From the looks of it, there was no one else it could be. Who else would be sleeping out here, in this graveyard?

It all fell together almost a little too perfectly. The magic had worked at least to give him his clothes. They didn’t need a nudge and confused John Bonham on their hands. Something told her that even John Paul didn’t know how to handle that. The clothes were just a tad too big, but that hardly mattered.

“Is that?” She asked softly as she pointed.

“His grave or him?” John Paul asked. His eyes never left the sleeping form a few feet in front of them. “Because I can only, I only want to answer positively to the former. I can’t, I don’t want to get my hopes up quite that that it could be,” he said.

Calypso understood. Perhaps this wasn’t the first time he had found a sleeping man on Bonham’s grave. Given his legacy, she wouldn’t be too surprised by that. But, perhaps, he didn’t want to believe it just yet. It did seem too good to be true. This whole thing did, really.

They walked a few more graves over. It was a slow pace set out by John Paul. It seemed the last thing he wanted to do was rush. They were in a perfectly precarious moment. Bonham, it seemed, was both alive and dead for the moment. Rushing forward might just cause their hopes to come crashing around them. Even she wasn’t ready for that.

They stopped just a grave over, practically on top of him. John Paul came to a halt. She watched a smile grow on his face. He grinned my ear to ear and Calypso herself couldn’t help but smile.

“It’s him, my god Jimmy you evil genius. It’s really him.”

[swtorizz]

Lost Apprentice (Ashara/Sith!OC) Ch. 1

AO3

Pure darkness engulfed her.

Ashara was floating in nothingness. She tried to remember where she was, what could possibly be happening, but nothing came.

And then, it did.

She was there, on the Fury vessel, in the heat of an enormous battle. Worse than she’d ever seen. Lights and sounds were erupting from the console in front of her. Blaster bolts flew past the transparisteel of the windshield, nearly hitting every time, but Andronikos dodged them expertly.

“Ashara!”

The apprentice blinked, turning quickly to the pirate at her side, “I’m sorry, what?”

“Did you not hear the Sith—“ he was cut off by a bolt hitting the starboard side of the ship, his snarl growing, “blast! The Sith ordered us to retreat. I need you to kick us into hyperspace.”

“Of course.” Ashara scrambled to collect her bearings. Quickly, she identified the safety switches but elected not to use them, as it would take too long and this was an emergency. Against her better judgement, she pulled back on the center console handle, preparing to jump—just in time to see Darth Marr’s ship explode.

The ship her master was on.

Everything went white.

“No! No no no no no!”

“Um, miss?”

Ashara shot up, her vision dark and blurred as she struggled into conscientiousness. Across the small room, in the small doorway, a child stared at her from the light of the hallway.

She watched the little girl take a half step back, “Um, my momma told me to tell you that breakfast is ready. Um, thank you.”

The girl scurried off instantly and the door closed automatically behind her. Ashara sighed deeply and pushed the thin blanket from her body.

The nightmare still haunted her, fresh in her brain as it had been since the event occurred over a month ago. She felt many things: sadness, anger, frustration, fear...but most of all, guilt. Some part of her felt, if not knew, that if she’d gone onto that ship with her master in the first place like her subconscious told her to, he would be okay.

But now wasn’t the time for all that. The togruta crossed her legs and allowed her arms to rest gently upon them. She steadied her breathing and closed her eyes so that she could better focus on the Force around her.

“There is emotion. There is peace. There is passion. There is serenity. There is death. There is the Force.”

She quietly spoke the chant to herself several times before her mind was clear. When she was ready, Ashara awoke fully and dressed herself for the day. She ducked out of her quaint quarters and made her way to the dining area.

“Ashara! Good morning, my dear.”

A stout, human woman beamed at Ashara from across the table as she set down full plates of food. Even from the other side of the room, Ashara could smell the delicious aroma of grease and fresh eggs, and her stomach rumbled.

“Thank you very much, Nala.”

Ashara sat quickly and devoured the contents of the meal barely before Nala could call the kids to the table. The two children came barreling into the room, loud and obnoxious as ever, but settled and sat when their mother ordered them too.

“Now,” Nala turned pointedly to Ashara, and her stomach twisted. Suddenly she wished she’d waited for this conversation to be over before scarfing down her breakfast, “how did it go last night?”

Ashara took a deep breath, trying not to focus on the kids’ wide eyes boring into her, “I’m sorry, I didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary.”

“Ah.” Nala took a solemn moment to peer down at the floor.

Ashara hated this part. Hated it. Nothing upset her more than disappointing the less fortunate. The people she was so desperate to help, and she couldn’t even do that. By housing and feeding her they were helping her more than she was them, and she hated that too.

“Well, there’s always tonight, right?” Nala smiled warmly at her once again, but Ashara knew it was just for the kids. She could sense the tense uneasiness radiating from her hostess, and yearned to change that, but knew there was nothing she could do.

Besides the children occasionally giggling at one another, the rest of the meal was had in silence. After they went back to playing, Ashara followed Nala into the kitchen with the dishes and began to help clean up.

“Nala,” she said, after several minutes of silence, “if I am a burden to you, please let me—“

“Oh not at all, my dear!” The woman placed her hand on Ashara’s arm, “you are helping more than anyone ever has. And for free!” She scoffed, “that’s more than I could’ve ever asked for. Thank you.”

Ashara nodded and, after a bit, allowed the calm to wash over her. She spent the next few hours helping with various chores around the house and on the farm. Then, she bathed and later meditated until the sun set. Around that time, a soft knock sounded at her door.

“Come in.”

The door slid open and Nala smiled sweetly from the doorway, her dark curls bouncing as she stepped into the room.

When the door shut behind her, her face grew to be more serious. Ashara tensed.

“Tonight will be the night, I can feel it.”

Ashara relaxed, “we can only hope, Nala.”

The woman nodded a few times and turned to leave, but peered over her shoulder to ask, “Pardon my asking, but can’t you tell? With...the Force?”

“I truly wish I could. Perhaps then I could give you a more concrete answer.”

She nodded, looking thoughtful, and wished Ashara a good night before leaving to get the kids off to bed. Ashara glanced at the clock on the wall and mumbled to herself, “four hours.”

Four hours later, Ashara sat, motionless, in the crop fields alongside the house. She was listening intently and felt around desperately with the Force for something, anything, but received nothing in return. The nearly-full moon bathed the crops in shimmering light. Every crop was as pristine as she recalled.

Ashara allowed several minutes to pass before she stood, and then a few more minutes to pass before she went back inside to go to sleep.

As much as she dreaded it.

“Ashara!”

That deep, gruff voice broke her reverie. Ashara glanced at Andronikos, “I’m sorry, what?”

Hyperspace, blaster bolt, explosion. It always happened the same way, every time. That unimaginable dread took hold of her very being and Ashara tried desperately to fight it, but it was crushing.

She awoke sweaty, exhausted, throat sore. Nothing new. In the early hours before dawn, Ashara quickly used the ‘fresher and perched herself at the end of her small cot, forcing herself to breathe evenly, “There is emotion. There is peace. There is passion. There is serenity. There is death. There is the Force.”

A tiny knock sounded at her door and, before she could invite him in, a child appeared there and invited her to breakfast.

Ashara ate. She broke the news to Nala. She did chores, tended to crops, mediated, bathed.

Two in the morning arrived before Ashara was prepared. Instead of sitting among the crops that night, she would have to watch from a nook off to the side of the porch. She waited until her legs were sore and her eyes would barely stay open, but, of course, nothing. Solemnly, Ashara shuffled back into the house and ducked into her small room. Sleep came before she was ready to be taken.

The sun in the window gently touched Ashara’s face, and brought her into the waking world. She yawned and stretched. It took several seconds for her to realize.

No nightmare.

And then, she realized something else.

It was past sunrise.

Ashara was sent into full panic mode. With no time to meditate, she knew her Force connection would be iffy, but she focused and did her best to reach out with it anyway.

Something felt...wrong. There was a void. Almost quiet enough that she would never have noticed had she not gone looking for it, but it was as if there was a chunk missing somewhere.

Her mind raced. A million possibilities rushed through her thoughts, not a single one good.

In one leap, Ashara was off the cot and across the room, her fist smashing into the wall as she ran out the door, nearly catching her horns on the frame. In a second she was across the farmhouse, out of breath. She sprinted into the kitchen, the source of that awful void, only to find…

...Nala. Looking as chipper as always. Of course, when she saw sweaty, out-of-breath, pajama-wearing Ashara she looked horrified, but that wasn’t important.

What was important was the guest she had at her side.

A Sith.

[racingtoaredlight]

College Football 2020 Season Week 8 TV Watch Em Ups: worst case scenario colored glasses

We all should have realized the end was nigh when Wisconsin finally showed up for the season sporting an honest to god four star QB that they had recruited out of high school.

It’s Halloween, there’s a super full extra bloody moon or some such shit, Trevor Lawrence has COVID, the Dodgers won the World Series and Tuesday is election day. All of these things seem foreboding. Oh! And there’s also an asteroid that might hit us on Monday!

Let’s see how many games I write up before the impending doom takes me out this week.

Saturday, October 31

Matchup                                                         Time (ET)           TV/Mobile

16 Kansas State at West Virginia                 12:00pm              ESPN2

College football is always nonsense but this year is extra nonsensical. Both of these teams kind of suck but one of them is ranked #16. K-State is favored in Morgantown and that just seems iffy.

5 Georgia at Kentucky                                   12:00pm              SECN

We are all shocked that Kentucky isn’t actually any good. Of course they’ll feature in some upset updates this week but that’s just because Kirby Smart sucks.

Purdue at Illinois                                             12:00pm                BTN

The way things are going this could be your last chance to see Rondale Moore as a Purdue Boilermakers so that’s something to watch for.

20 Coastal Carolina at Georgia State            12:00pm             ESPNU

I told you last week that there aren’t ten good teams this year and look at this shit.

Michigan State at 13 Michigan                       12:00pm                FOX

Michigan is favored by 21.5 against a bad Michigan State team. If that’s not the set up for a great punchline, I don’t know what is.

23 Iowa State at Kansas                                  12:00pm                 FS1

How do you even get a 50.5-point line listed? That’s setting aside the oddity of being a 50.5-point home underdog. And all of this is setting aside the near certainty that upwards of 50% of the kids in this game have already tested positive for COVID and just weren’t ever notified because that might make them stop playing football. I’m sure there are kids like that all over the TV landscape today, I just have a gut feeling that these two programs would be among the worst offenders.

Wake Forest at Syracuse                                 12:00pm                ACCN 

ACC football, it’s still crappy!

Boston College at 1 Clemson                           12:00pm                  ABC

With Trevor Lawrence up on the shelf this is your first chance to see DJ Uigaleilei actually running the offense. The little bit I saw of him a few weeks ago didn’t inspire my imagination but he is huge and supposedly has quite the strong arm.

UTSA at Florida Atlantic                                    12:00pm               Stadium

The nation’s leading rusher plays for UTSA and his name is Sincere McCormick. I assume he’s actually a time-traveling cowboy.

Temple at Tulane                                                12:00pm                  ESPN+

Two of my favorite flavors of trash. I might not turn on the TV today, though.

Memphis at 7 Cincinnati                                    12:00pm                  ESPN

Part of the reason I’m not sure about my watch ‘em up consumption today is that Miami is off, part is that I won’t be at home most of the day, and part is that I’m afeared Little Ohio State is going to just thump the hell out of our beloved Memphis Tigers. If I check my phone and see this game is close in the third quarter I may feel compelled to check in on it.

UCF at Houston                                                  2:00pm                    ESPN+

For some reason I was thinking Dana Holgorsen had coached Josh Heupel at Oklahoma but Holgo was actually at Texas Tech with Mike Leach after Leach was at Oklahoma. Oh, well. This poison looks sweet to me.

Rice at Southern Miss                                        3:00pm                    ESPN3

My interest in this post is really starting to wane.

Troy at Arkansas State                                       3:00pm                    ESPN3 

In a non-pandemic year I’d love this game.

Abilene Christian at Mercer                               3:00pm                    ESPN3 

This game should be played in the middle of the night with no crowd and maybe no refs or coaches.

Western Colorado at Stephen F. Austin            3:00pm                     ESPN3

This is a 

17 Indiana at Rutgers                                         3:30pm                          FS1

This stupid year. If Rutgers pulls a second straight upset and Sparty somehow beats Michigan, the Rutgers Hauers will probably be ranked next week.

Northwestern at Iowa                                         3:30pm                       ESPN 

Iowa, as per usual, has like five guys on their team that will be NFL starters and still aren’t worth watching.

LSU at Auburn                                                     3:30pm                         CBS

It’s LSU and Auburn! Expect this one to go off the rails early and often.

UAB at Louisiana Tech                                       3:30pm                        Stadium

Good weird football but it’s on Stadium so I can’t recommend it.

4 Notre Dame at Georgia Tech                          3:30pm                          ABC 

The priest that was at the ACB Super Spreader luncheon is the school president of Notre Dame, right? He probably gave COVID to Trevor Lawrence to give his Fighting Satans a chance in hell against Clemson. What’s that you say? Notre Dame isn’t playing Clemson this week? Of course they aren’t. Notre Dame has this weekend off.

TCU at Baylor                                                      3:30pm                       ESPN2

I just threw my hands up and sighed. I don’t know how to type that feeling other than to describe the physical actions. You know what I mean.

Appalachian State at ULM                                  4:00pm                      ESPNU 

I don’t really know.

Virginia Tech at Louisville                                    4:00pm                    ACCN

These were supposed to be “good” ACC teams this year. They are not good teams but either one or both could still turn out to be good in ACC terms.

Texas at 6 Oklahoma State                                 4:00pm                       FOX 

Oklahoma State is fools gold in the rankings but that very fast Canadian kid is still fun to watch.

Mississippi at Vanderbilt                                     4:00pm                    SECN

There is nothing fun or interesting about this game.

Missouri Western at Central Arkansas              4:00pm                   ESPN3

These schools are both junior colleges.

25 Boise State at Air Force                                   6:00pm                 CBSSN

I don’t care what you lot say, Boise State football is a net good for the sport and I like it when they’re ranked.

New Mexico at San Jose State                             7:00pm                  FS1

This game probably shouldn’t be played at all but it definitely shouldn’t kick off at 4pm local time.

Mississippi State at 2 Alabama                            7:00pm               ESPN

Bama is going to be on cruise control for the rest of the regular season but that doesn’t mean they won’t win a few games by 50+.

Charlotte at Duke                                                  7:00pm            RSN/ESPN3 

Hooray Charlotte, I guess.

Navy at 22 SMU                                                     7:30pm                 ESPN2

I’m really not enjoying Navy’s reliance on throwing the ball this year.

Arkansas at 8 Texas A&M                                     7:30pm                  SECN

Again I say pig sooie.

3 Ohio State at 18 Penn State                              7:30pm                   ABC

There are only a few times where it is generally OK to root for the Buckeyes and playing Penn State is always one of those times.

Missouri at 10 Florida                                          7:30pm                  SECN 

I can’t remember if the Gators are wearing cool throwback uniforms this week or if they already did that last week. Somehow my mind is really rejecting this game in particular and I’m not really sure why.

Louisiana at Texas State                                     8:00pm                 ESPNU

This sucks.

15 North Carolina at Virginia                               8:00pm                  ACCN

Wa-hoo-wa imho.

24 Oklahoma at Texas Tech                                8:00pm                   FOX

FOX ads for this week really made it seem like Oklahoma and Oklahoma State were going to play each other but that is very much not the case.

San Diego State at Utah State                           9:30pm                CBSSN 

Huge throbbing boner at the thought of this game.

WKU at 11 BYU                                                    10:15pm               ESPN

BYU seems to be legitimately good for the first time in a while. I like that for nostalgia’s sake even though I have always hated BYU.

Nevada at UNLV                                                   10:30pm                 FS1 

I think UNLV plays in the Raiders stadium now but they might not yet. I don’t remember. I’d rather this game was still played in UNLV’s shitty old stadium over in Henderson.

GAMES OF THE WEEK

9 Wisconsin at Nebraska                  Canceled

North Texas at UTEP                         Postponed

[briteboy]

WHO is Santi and WHERE is his face?

i am LIVING for your warm & colorful posts right now!! your editing is so amazing and it brightens my day everytime i see a new post of yours *.*

THANK YOU!!!! <3 i am so happy/relieved to be using warm colors once more, i feel like myself again. don’t get me wrong, i do like evoking different moods, but sometimes (a lot of the time, especially with santi) too much is too much. today’s posts were HOPEfully my last emo edits..............for now

LOL I actually made a comment about Fiona naming a cat/dog (once Pets comes out) Rodrigo. I'll go back underground now haha (still a great story, cant wait to read more) -Runaway NONY

OH I DIDN’T EVEN SEE THAT wtf. either tumblr ate it or i accidentally scrolled past it i’m sorry. i always enjoy seeing messages from anons who return to my inbox! but lmAO that’s a good idea. i actually met the most perfect dog today and now i know the breed and name of dog santi needs immediately

Hii! If you dont mind me askin, how do you edit your darker screenshots? I always end up making them too light or too dark to see a thing :( Thank you!

hmmm idk what to tell you about making them too light or too dark, because that’s a very specific thing that really depends on the picture. BUT i know that the dodge tool is my bff for brightening up dark pictures while still retaining some of the darker elements you want in them (aversely, the burn tool will help darken parts), messing with the exposure can also really help, coloring can also help too, selective color is my bff especially with blue shadows and orangey skin...this is kind of a broad answer, i’m sorry, but if you needed help with something specific, let me know!

I remember you answered an ask and said you drew tears when you edit right? Is there a reason you don't use CC tears?

i answered this like two weeks ago but i can’t find it so whateveR i’ve used cc tears a few times but there’s only like three of those in existence and my characters have cried a LOT. i feel like it would be kinda weird if they had the same tears every time. also there are just some variations that i like to customize myself by drawing, like sometimes they’ll be full on sobbing, sometimes just one single tear...it just depends on the situation, that’s why i draw ‘em.

Santi is my favorite Harvest Moon character.

idk shit about harvest moon so idk how to respond to this :[ here’s a small picture of michael cera with a cactus

Would you recommend buying a macbook for playing sims?

if a macbook is what you already have, then yeah, i’d say it suffices without many problems. if you’re specifically going out and buying a computer with the knowledge that you’ll be playing sims on it, then mmmmmm i’d probably say no...but it also depends on if you’re like gonna get REALLY into storytelling and cc n shit or if it’s just casual gameplay with a mods folder that’s like 5 gb or less...if it’s the latter i think it should also be fine. but yeah it just depends on what kind of gaming you’re planning on doing.

How can I read your story from the beginning? Is there a link or something? I keep seeing it on my feet and it looks so great!

thank you! there’s a button at the top of my page that says “story directory” but if you’re on mobile you can just go here or copy this link: http://femmesim.tumblr.com/tagged/story/chrono

I've talked to u like once before and I'm to shy to talk to u again... Why am I like fish?

This**

we are all like fish if you really think about it lmao but really just reach out my dude! if we talked once then y’know you already broke the ice so just go for it!! i am here and ready to talk about all the things under the sun

Do you use Topaz Clean?

yep

hi hello so maybe I am just a blind bean but may I ask how in god's name do you get your images to be so crisp? I have everything set up, but it seems as if when I do my thing in Photoshop, everything turns out lookin like a blobfish. I'm not sure if you use another person's topaz settings or if you have your own. Thank you so much if you do respond bc I was too much of a wuss to message you *cries in Spanish*

OMG well it’s mostly just resizing, smart sharpening, and most importantly topaz clean (see above) that makes them so crisp. i also use the sharpen tool on sims’ faces, and the smudge tool when something is particularly pixelated or whatever. everything i do is listed in here! UR NOT A WUSS *hugs you in spanish*

youre my inspiration to be a better writer. I know i'm good and giving characters depth and backgrounds and coming up with a rough story idea. but i rush things and i'm not great at putting it into a good story so ya. My story on simblr started out as casual gameplay but i wanted it to be more and i'm trying to get better @ everything

OMG ;_________; it sounds like you are a good writer already, and it’s awesome that you recognize your strengths while also acknowledging that you need to work on some things as well. i try to do the same and i think that’s what keeps me level headed. it sounds like you just need to dedicate some time to planning, that way you start to realize all the nuances of your story that come together to flesh out that initial rough idea. you seem to have a positive attitude, so that’s great!! you’re already getting better and better, i know it <3

now Santi's song is Post Malone - Congratulations

OMF LMAO u sent this when santi finally got to mexico and it’s fitting

sos i was listening to the song fight song by rachel platten when i saw the photoset of santi making it to mexico and now i can't stop ugly crying please make it stop

omG i see it TAKE BACK UR LIFE SANTI U GOT THIS

This is so random but like, can I just say that you're so amazing like?? Why?? You're so sweet and funny and I love you very much ok

AKJSKJDFKJS THANK YOU THIS IS SO NICEEEE ;-; i try but a lot of the time i feel like a sarcastic asshole lmao thank u for thinking otherwise <3

Am I the only one who's like... really mad about pets being NPCs? I just feel like being able to control them was the best part. I don't really feel like the EP is worth it without them. Like, don't get me wrong, I understand that the team worked really hard on it, but I feel like they didn't do it as well as they could have.

hmm i’m kind of meh on that front because like on one hand i did like controlling pets and the novelty of the fact that you could just see their different interactions firsthand, but ultimately i think i’m okay with not controlling them because it makes it more realistic for me and honestly they’re probably more likely to take care of themselves a little bit more if they’re automated, because i’m just thinking about ts3 pets and how i literally had to make them go pee outside otherwise they’d pee in the house...even if they were well trained and stuff lmao. plus there might be a cheat or mod that lets you control them, like there was in ts2? so don’t lose hope yet.

hey your blog is AWESOME, i read through your stories in a day and am obsessed (kind of in love with gianni) ❤ what are some of your favorite ts4 blogs? i'm trying to find more awesome blogs to read through during my miserable journey of trying to get the game to work on my computer lol

heyo here’s some! thank you btw, and i hope your miserable journey ends soon :{

(I really need to get this off my chest) ok so my aunt is currently in a critical condition after having a kidney failure and she's in desperate need for a new one and I'm the only one in my family that's a match (so far) but I'm not allowed to donate bc I myself have severe health issues affecting my day to day life that would make it extremely dangerous for me to remove a kidney. I'm so fucking frustrated you don't understand like I just want to cry most of the time

first off i’m so sorry that this is even happening to you ;__; and you’re an amazing person for being willing to help out your aunt like that, so just know it isn’t your fault that you’re unable to. don’t guilt yourself for it okay? is there any other possible donor at all? i wanna know how this situation ends up. i really hope your aunt will be okay. just stay close to your family for support and don’t blame yourself.

how did you get photoshop for free? I'm trying to find a link that won't give me a virus, but I had no luck yet

the pirate bay is ur friend

Ok I gotta rant. GoT does NOT deserve the hype/amazing ratings. Like, sure the cinematography is pretty great and they have ok actors but the freaking script is so mediocre I actually think I could write a better one. Me. A 16 y/o tiny child. There are so much better shows out there! Hell, even Supernatural has a better script than GoT

whenever ppl agree with me about how much GoT sucks i grow stronger and stronger even the actors are iffy at this point. watching daenerys act is painful, jon snow is wooden as hell, it’s just bad. ur 16 yr old self has more potential than these writers tbh. it’s just completely mediocre; it started out as something great because it followed the same layered storytelling pattern as the books, but it’s diverged from that completely because the writers got too caught up in the hype. and you’re right, it doesn’t deserve that hype! omfdkjsgkj i’ve never watched supernatural but i haven’t heard good things. that’s a low bar