#i didnt forget the lines on the wings that was ON PURPOSE i do everything ON PURPOSE i SWEAR

[just-creature-things]

they so sillyy

[alatismeni-theitsa]

anti LO anon opinions

I am sorry for the delay. There were too many asks and too little time. 16 messages below the cut. Enjoy!

1) I like to mention that metis isn’t the mother Hera Demeter or Hestia rather she created them

2) Why is Metis being made into a fertility goddess? She's associated with wisdom and good counsel, she has no relation to fertility or agriculture. If RS wanted to be consistent with the fertility goddess=victory thing, then Hera fits that role just fine because she is literally a goddess of childbirth and motherhood!

3) The fertility plotline is already stupid by its own but also Metis who is the mother OF HERA DEMETER AND HESTIA( and not Athena because fuck it i guess) was already  very stupid and but nowZeus ATE the mother of Hera and Hera still  married  him in the comic?????!?!?!?!

Just whyyyyyyyy

Why rachel

Whyyyyyyyyyyy!!!???

4) Let me get this straight... Zeus ate Metis to help him overthrow Kronos because she's a "fertility" goddess? How does a goddess of wisdom suddenly become a fertility goddess?? Also, for a comic that preaches "feminine power" all the time, there is absolutely no power for women when they are being consumed just for the sole purpose of defeating a tyrant.

5) One of many things that bugs me about lo leto is that not only she looks identical to hera(besides of eyes) she dress in same colors as her and same clothes style. In episode that leto was in they give hera more blue collors but that doesnt change that hera dont wear blue so often.

6) Apparently, Metis isn't their ( Hera, Demeter and Hestia) mother in LO. Which doesn't make any sense because if she isn't their mom, then where did they come from? Just because they were created doesn't mean that's not their parent.

By this logic, Demeter and Persephone aren't related in LO. This just seems like a poor way of avoiding incest.

(The evidence is that Rachel changed the sisters to friends in episode 119 and said that they weren't related herself (can't find this one tho)).

7) I remember seeing a instagram post criticizing LO for making Apollo rape Persephone someone in the comments said “Well zeus rape persephone in the original mythology so It only makes sense that Rachel made Apollo do it” ???Like???Sis What???

8) Probably unpopular opinion : I don't like when people criticizes Lore olympus by saying " It is bad because in the original myth * insert female figure in Greek mythology*  is RAPED!!" because  most of the time, even if exception exist but the great majority of the examples used in these arguments came from ROMAN version!!

So if someone want to criticize Lore olympus its should at least use exemples/argurments based from GREEK mythology not from the Roman version(which cames much later) and it is pretty easy to do that.

9) Off topic but the fact that Hecate in LO looks so generic in recent chapters (a nod to the recent anti LO anon submission posts and one person says Hecate looks badly drawn(, that there's actually an instagram art account who plays art of withe fanart or original content, and their OC Nadia looks more like LO Hecate than LO Hecate. Link

10) Hekate in those panels (where she is talking with Demeter in ep. 145) looks like LEGO figurine.

11) Now in lo besides of all this unneeded plot about persephones trail, apollo trying to overthrown zeus now Smythe thought that this romance comic didnt have enough action so now she add Kronos coming back and possible another war with him! This supposed to be romance comic not some action one, and this bigger plots fell so much unnecessary and like some 14yearold fanfiction that wich each chapter self insert marysue have more unreal things to do Thats why pilot lo was better it was just romance

12) Why couldn't zeus be the villain of LO? In the myth, everything is very explicitly his fault. He tells hades to kidnap persephone and he never tells demeter that he married off her daughter until she starts going on an agricultural strike and blights the earth. No more of this evil demeter/apollo/thetis/thanatos/hestia bullshit! I want the mother/daughter duo to beat zeus to the ground dammit!

13) The age gap in LO is weird because persephone's age isn't specified in the myth, her supposed youth is a product of modern interpretation due to her kore epithet and status as demeter's daughter. She could've went the route of young hades if she wanted a young protagonist, but we could've also had old persephone, which has worked multiple times.

14) Oh god, lore olympus is gonna become the new twilight/50 shades of grey.

15) one thing i don't understand about metis in LO - wasn't she an oceanid?? why is she brown w wings? 

16) I personally don’t think RS has the majority of this planned, because if she did there wouldn’t be so much retconned stuff and these apparently major plot points wouldn’t be popped now, almost 150 episodes in! Like you said, they had to be built up and hinted at well before this to make sense. It’s either on the editor not helping her tighten up the story, or she, as she’s told us before, just writes it as it goes, and that seems far more likely. More so, let’s not forget the other plot lines that must be dealt with: Eros and Psyche, Semele and Dionysus, Leto now?, Persephone’s schooling (?), Minthe, Apollo, Thanatos, and Daphne (🙄), Hermes lying to hades, Zeus finding out about Hera/Hades, Persephone coming to justice, Thetis, Echo, Persephone even finding out about her powers (yes, almost 209 Eos in), HxP even getting together and married (+possible babies), and the ACTUAL myth with Demeter at a standoff! At current rate, it’ll need at least several more years to wrap up, unless most of those are dropped, in which case also proves she didn’t plan ahead, or else she wouldn’t have included them to begin with. How do you turn such a cut and dry story into such a convoluted mess. I’d be impressed if it wasn’t so aggravating.  

[yumenosakiacademy]

fuck it. a3 blooming live liveblog but condensed. aka Highlightz. i cant understand japanese so these’ll just b like. stuff that stood out 2 me. also rip but i skipped some of the songs that i did’;t kno/havent heard yet so i can experience em later n enjoy em more after i kno the song! note: i call em by their chara namez since idk all the seiyuu n it’s easier to just refer t’ em all by chara name even if i do remember/kno the seiyuu for some a the charaz okie~? ^^

itaru’s hair styled like itarus!! :D chikage wearing circle glasses!! :DD

AZAMI IS SO CUTE WAA??? n homare too but azami aaa OH and hisoka? cuute

tenma going “woo!” a lil after his initial intro

misumi doing a finger triangle!

someone (idk who??) on stage (?) going “foo/woo!” a few times during tenmas intro pff cute

misumi’s va forgetting to say his name during his intro n going “ah. hirose daisuke-desu ///” after the others looked at him 

KAZUNARI YELLING FOR HIS INTRO GJHSN same w kumon! n taichi!! but waaa taichi was so energetic n cute daisukiii

hisokas intro being so cuuute. then when he finished up after/while saying his name someone i think tenma went “wooooo!” in the bg gjhsnd

[homare] “kan-to-ku-san. o-ha-yo~” gjhsnd why did he say it. Like That.

HOMARES WEIRD “a-ha-ha-ha-ha” LAUGH AT THE END OF HIS INTRO idk whats up itz just homare brand of Weird

citron coming up on the screen during Spring Is Coming since he couldnt b there n then throwing a ton of glitter during his part gjhnsj Citron Dayo !

NATSUGUMI SONG HAS SO MUCH ENERGY MY GOD they got 2 swing towels around during natsutte party party

MISUMI N KAZUNARI HUGGED DURING THE SONG UWAA

EVERYONE IN THE AUDIENCE YELLING “KA!ZU!NA!RI!” DURING THAT PART U KNO THE ONE!

“KA! ZU! NA! RI! UUUUUUUYABAIIIIIII!!!!!!!!”

tenma loudly going “WOO~!!” after the song had ended + lights had dimmed to transition into the next song

PYROTECHNICS DURING ONEXONE HOLY SHIT

juza n banri facing off n sakyo breaking it up

omi singing a bit higher than usual oh yum

juza’s wavy hair looks so nice btw.......

idk how taichi manages to do his in-chara voice so well during the song live while moving around but damn if he doesnt sound Perfect

“ARE U RREADY?” -AZAMI (w a thick accent too whoa)

[had 2 skip fuyugumi’s song bc i havent heard it b4 :( ]

the way they staged the dialogue portion of the romeo & julius song like the tower from the play waa

the synchronized dancing during rakuen oasis.. the harmonies.. omg

juza in his bad bad buddy outfit w the wavy hair.... ok ok 😳

THE GUN SHOTS N EXPLOSIONS DURING BAD BAD BUDDY

WHEN THEY LIFTED TASUKU N TSUMUGI UP N PUT WING HOLOGRAMS BEHIND THEM.... BRO.............

tasuku’s pained line/lyric delivery.. him reaching his hand out desperately as he says “ikanaide”... tsumugis soft “shiawase~”... bro i am. Hurting.

tsumugi looking down and tasuku also looking downward but tasuku holding a hand onto his heart w a heartbeat sound resounding thru the venue.......... im dead. it hurts. :(

EVERYTHING ABT THE PERFORMANCE OF KITETSU POEMER.. HOMARE HAS A THRONE? THE DANCERS R ACTING INSANE BEHIND HIM THROWING ROSE PETALS N HOLDING ROSES IN THEIR MOUTHS N MAKING WEIRD FACES?? THEY LIFT HOMARE UP N CARRY HIM AROUND TOO???? WACK.

during hisoka’s solo i just realized that his hair is styled to match hisoka’s i think! like tousled n mainly to one side :o

[had to skip a song. i dont kno what it was tbh? singer looked like chikage’s for the like 5 secs i saw him but it didnt sound like chikages chara song bc i kno it’s guitar baed...? :o ]

ppl doing lil triangles w their glowsticks (colored yellow of course!) when misumi came out to sing ichi ni sankaku! :D

ichi ni sankaku was so cute waaa 🥺

muku sounds so cute aaaa also he danced w a shadow princess n “kissed her hand” n did the thing where he got down on one knee w an arm outstretched! ur a prince in my heart sweetieeeee~~~!!!!

[had to skip a bunch of solos bc i havent heard the songs yet ;;; i dont kno who all was in the 13 minutes i skipped but i saw sakyo n sakuya]

SUSUME PIRATES HAD A BOAT ON THAT ONE PLAYFORM THAT MOVES AROUND THE VENUE? IDK WHAT TO CALL IT BUT FUCK YEA! 

MISUMI YELLING THROUGHOUT SUSUME PIRATES/MAKING HIMSELF SOUND MORE GROWLY N AGGRESSIVE N AUTHORITATIVE OH BABY WE LUV 2 SEE IT YUM

during wonderland a go go they had a bunch of kids onstage dressed up a rabbits hopping around? cute..

masumi seeming so fucking confused during the performance (bc he’s alice, who’s confused upon entering wonderland. it’s on purpose) n getting his clothes tugged on by the bunnies n they keep dancing aroudn him n hes just “bro what the fuck,,,”

the audience was SO happy over this song sjhdn they kept cheering n oh my god when hatter first came out they were ECSTATIC

itaru holding a kids hand n giving them a lil curtsey/ not-all-the-way-down kneel like. aaa.

hatter keeping calm even during the dance parts n seeming so mature while dancing around the kids. even his steps n dance moves seem to be downplayed to keep itaru/hatter’s aura.

masumi n itaru linking hands w the bunny kids n doing a lil dance circle oh my god that’s ADORABLE

the moving platform was a hot air balloon for the oz song!!! :D

oswald snapping his fingers n the stage lighting up green waaa

fireworks coming up on the screen when they went “ladies! and! gentlemen!” aa

PYROTECHNICS GUNS N DIGHT CHERO FOR DEAD/UNDEAD

azami’s outfit in dead/undead looks punk im SO diggin it

GAMERS HIGH STARTING W ITARU GAMING ON THE BIG SCREEN WHILE SITTING ON A BED.... he does it thru like 1/2 of the song gjs

they didnt include him chanting R.. SR... SSR! or w/e i dont think aww

the crowd losing their shit when he went “otsu~ ;)” mood

[skipped guy (?), kazunari, n tenma bc i havent heard their songs ;( ]

masumi vibing w his headphones on at the beginning of sick sick sick remindin me of when he moved similarly as ramuda during battle battle battle during the ear line or smth. idk hes just done that b4 haha

“yamanai~” [crowd goes apeshit] (mood tho)

also rly appreciate how intimate masumi got w the mic on the stand in front of him. even when he detatched it n held it near his chest/torso at the end heehee.

BANRI MOONWALKING AT THE BEGINNING OF SUPER ULTRA EASY MODE...

LOVED the energy n choreo during super ultra easy mode also heehee

[skipped:  ???, tasuku, taichi, omi, ???, baseball charmer]

they brought the kids back as kitten backup dancers for nyanbare!! :D

GIANT NIBOSHI PLUSH!!!

god can i just say juza looks so pretty dude..... buzama more like “i focus on juza the whole time bc damn good voice AND good looks”

JUST 4 MYSELF WAS SO GOOD.. THE DIALOGUE B4 THE SONG.. THE EMOTION IN THEIR VOICES... TAICHI HITTING THOSE HIGH NOTES AND LOOKING/SOUNDING LIKE AN ANGEL. THE RAWNESS OF OMI’S VOICE N THE ROUGH N RAW EMOTION HE DID DURING THE YELLS. DEAR LORD. OH MY GOD.

ALSO WOLF!OMI LOOKING LIKE A WHOLE SNACK.

also more pyrotechnics during that song! fuck yea!

the chandelier drop n fire on the screen during unmask! whoa!

tsumugi’s emotion throughout the entire song.. esp during the emotional end.... n him looking so sad n holding a hand to his chest.. aa

sakuya being all nice w harugumi then going “ok now onto natsugumi” n tenma immediately just “HII, NATSUGUMI-DEEESU~!” summer energy

KUMON JUST GOING “YYEAA!” N WHEN GOADED ON BY TENMA WENT LOUDER N WENT “YYYYYEAAAAA!!!!!” TO THE AUDIENCE WHILE KAZUNARI ALSO YELLED N WENT “WOO!” ALONG W I THINK TENMA GJHFNA THEN THEN ALL GOING “WOO!! YEAAA!!!” N CHEERING TO THE AUDIENCE natsugumi Nonstop Energy.

THEM JUST CONTINUING TO SCREAM THEIR OUTRO W VARIOUS “WOO!”S N MUKU YELLING “YEEEEESSS!!” (it kinda sounded like “gaaaaas!”?? im guessing it’s “yes” tho but gjhnsd)

tenma, after all the yelling, bowing along w natsugumi: “[smth] natsugumi deshita~ arigato gozaimashitaaa~~”

chikage i think encouraging sakuya to try n hav natsugumi energy too n hes just “YYAYYY!! HARUGUMI [other words i dont kno] ARIGATOUUU” while theyre all like “wait wait” but then natsugumi start going “WOO!!” to goad sakuya on n they call sakuya kawaii gjhnddsdsn

sakuya: ok! akigumi! banri, immediately: YYEAAAAAHH!!! the rest of akigumi: [starts yelling too] omi: [does a super long yell while the others look at him] banri: [climbs up the stairs n yells while doing a pose w his finger] YEAAAA!!!! someone from natsugumi: “WOO~!!!!”

akigumi making various sound effect noises like “bang~!” n “chi-chi-chi!” n other assorted ones n just being laughy aaaa

juza saying it was a fast live n talking abt all the ppl w penlights n thanking them for coming n banri being like “hey! ur takin my spotlight as leader!” (or smth like that. idk what he said but i think it was smth along those lines) n the others going “ok leader then say smth” so banri goes “everyone thsnk u 4 coming” n he keeps bowing while they all laugh

i think homare commenting on how fuyugumi is much calmer than the other troupes n everyone laughing but it’s so funny to go from the other troupes yelling then fuyugumi speaking in a calm yet pleasant manner gkhsnd

natsugumi getting together to pose right in front of one of the lower cameras during mankai seigen n kazunari blowing it a kiss waa

omi being given (taking?) one of the big filming cameras n some of the others getting close to it n smiling n stuff whereas homare just stared deadpan at it while walking toward it to go past it gjhndd so did masumi before giving a slight smile

sakyo taking the camera from omi for a sec to film omi before omi got back to filming everyone aaaa 🥺

kazunari blowing the omi cam four (4!) kisses then a peace sign n yuki giving it a peace sign too while tenma happily waved aaaaaaaa

misumi hugging yuki from behind + arm around the neck n yuki happily smiling n putting his hands on misumis arms around his neck when they stepped on the middle platform to exit waaa

all of harugumi wearing citron buttons on their shirt during the free talk at the end bc citron’s va wasn’t there.........

AZUMA CAME IN AT THE LAST MINUTE? DURING THE LAST LIKE 15 MINUTES DURING THE FREE TALK. WHERE THE FUCK WAS HE FOR THE REST OF THE LIVE??? TSUMUGI YELLED OUT “KAKIHARA-SAAAN!” N HE CAME OUT IN THE FUYUGUMI SHIRT WEARING 3 AZUMA PINS? BUT FR WHERE WAS HE I WANTED 2 SEE AZUMAS SOLO LIVE...........

azuma yelling rly loudly then after everyone cheered, then just screaming “arigatoOOOUUUU!!!” sjhd

jesus CHRIST azuma can speak fast

all of them sitting down for a group picture taken by a cameraman/staff on the upper stage area while the screen showed them so the audience could see then them going “hmm.. no lets stand up itll be/look better” so they all stood up then they went “...no no, ppl in the front sit back down” gjhd

azuma just headbopping to harunatsuakifuyu while riding on the moving platform gjhsnd

sakuya n tenma trying to close out the show n going “blooming~!” but the other guys r all too busy throwing the balls that fell on stage out into the audience n tenmas like “guys! guys pause w the balls for a sec so we can Full Blooming! hey!”

misumi doing a lil triangle dance as they all said thank you repeatedly at the end waa

azuma screeching “ARIGATOOOUUUUU!!” again gkhsnd

sakuya running out one final time after everyone left (back n forth across the stage), stopping in the middle, giving a bow n a smile, then running to go backstage. aaaaaa

songs i skipped (for future ref, so i can watch em standalone later! the ???s were i didnt kno the chara since i didnt kno the song or recognize the va immediately):

29:05 (2nd winter song)

59:20 (???)

72:00-85:32 (a bunch of solos, but i saw sakyo+sakuya in there!)

111:15-120:34 (guy’s song, i think..? idk tbh. then kazunari? then tenma)

128:54-151:15 (???, tasuku, taichi, omi, ???, baseball charmer)

[galbinuscarnation]

The Last of the Real Ones

Chapter 3

Matthew tossed breadcrumbs to the ducks by the enormous pond in Hyde Park. He sat languid on the grass, and his legs were sprawled out in front of him to prevent the ducks from getting too close. The park was always occupied by tourists and locals alike, but today was particularly cloudy, not that it stopped Londoners from enjoying the outdoors. Matthew’s heart yearned to be able to appreciate mother nature’s beauty around him, but his mind continued to race. If only he could escape his current circumstance with his craft, but someone (His name was Charles Buford Fairchild) had to publicly tell the paparazzi the location of his salon, almost as if he thought he was doing his younger brother a favor. Matthew sighed, staring blankly at a duck that was brave enough to waddle closer to peck the bits by his feet.

No, Matthew certainly didn’t appreciate the “free advertising” that he knew his brother would justify his words with. Then again, he and Charles never saw eye to eye, and now with this trying time Charles was trying to build a persona of being a family man for reelection. At least, Matthew was certain that was why Charles was acting much bossier, asking more invasive questions about his life, and simply pushing Matthew’s boundaries with the aforementioned stunt. The salon was a sanctuary; a place that Matthew could express his knowledge without judgement, he could collect stories from his clients that would entertain him for days after. He was able to transform a person’s day by the rewarding smile on their faces, from the work Matthew poured his heart and soul into. His politician brother may have been elected by the people, but it was Matthew that heard their stories.

“She was right, you are wallowing.” a voice that Matthew hadn’t encountered in a month spoke, interrupting his thoughts. Matthew arched an eyebrow and glanced up at James Herondale with a practiced smile.

“Whatever are you talking about, Jamie?” He questioned. It was James turn to arch an eyebrow.

“I gave you permission to call me James, not my childish nickname.” He crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at Matthew. Matthew let out a short laugh and shook his head.

“Habit, I talk to your sister on a daily basis, it’s kind of ingrained in my mind now.” He explained, pointing to his noggin.

“Daily?” James practically squawked, starling the ducks and they quacked in protest. James turned his attention to the ducks with a sudden challenging smirk, and Matthew starred as James produced some seeds from his pockets and tossed them. “Ha!”

“Did I miss something, you looked as if you were going to challenge that duck to a duel.” Matthew commented and scooted his rear up a bit as the ducks flapped their wings and viciously pecked the ground.

“No, my father hates ducks, so I make every effort to pamper and offer my love in spite.” James smiled fondly at the ducks, and Matthew’s heart ached at the word Father.

“I’m sure Mr. Herondale will be displeased with your affections then,” Matthew attempted to joke, and even to his ears it sounded flat and tired. James crouched down to Matthew’s level and picked at the grass with his fingers.

“Perhaps…” He murmured and glanced up at Matthew, his eyes peeking through the glasses and bangs that put their best effort to obscure them. “I’m not very good at this Matthew so I’m going to tell you that Anna sent me to find you, but I didn’t have the foresight to ask what to do when I did…”

“She wants to know that I am okay and haven’t flung myself into the pond to become one with the water fowl,” Matthew sighed. “I’ll call her as soon as I get home, you didn’t need to come all this way, I’m a stranger to you.”

“This is true, but…” James grimaced. “I was by the salon...there was a crowd and I couldn't get through… your brother was present, and Anna.” Matthew winced when James mentioned Charles’ presence. “After he left Anna told me you’d be here, and locked the salon. Besides I don’t have much to do these days.”

Matthew ran a hand through his hair, combing through the bits with product and adding a more naturally haphazard style to it. “That’s so thoughtful...of both of you. I’m sorry you had to encounter my... less than thoughtful brother.”

“He said he wanted to give you a ride…” James sat on the grass finally, and gave Matthew a sympathetic glance, the kind of look that everyone had been offering lately.

“Yes,” Matthew nodded. “I have to go on with my days though, I can’t close my business until we get word of improvement, the only thing that matter to me is that my father’s alive, he’s awake, it’s just a precaution that he’s still in the hospital…” Matthew normally wouldn’t’ve rambled on about his family’s personal business, but he had the inexplicable sense that he could trust James, that he was someone that could listen to his woes without judgement or offering obligatory solutions. “I have to go home to my darling, make sure there’s food, pay my bills. I can’t… I can’t stop my life…” Matthew could feel his lip trembling and he covered his mouth to ironically stop himself from speaking.

“Matthew,” James reached out, but pulled his hand back a moment before placing it on Matthew’s shoulder. “Anna told me not to keep everything in… Now that I think about it, that's good advice.”

“I know…” Matthew coughed and rested his forehead on his palm. “But it hurts.” He sniffled and was surprised to see a tissue in his line of sight. He took it, giving James an apologetic look before he blew his nose. “Thanks…”

“I do have a question.” James asked after handing Matthew more tissues so he could dab his eyes. “Anna seemed awfully familiar with your brother and about you, why is that?”

“Anna?” Matthew chuckled a little. “She’s practically family. All of them are, in fact.”

“All as in the Lightwoods?” James sounded incredulous and Matthew glanced at James. “They’re my cousins.”

“Yes I’m aware,” Matthew told him carefully while watching James expression grow more confused and apprehensive. “Lucie filled me in after she realized the connection.” He offered as an explanation.

“How much of our lives does Lucie tell you?” James wondered. Matthew tilted his head to think about it, eyeing James as the man eyes bore into the ducks. Lucie and James were opposites, Matthew observed, when it came to discussing their private lives.

“She mostly tells me about her day? Fascinating stuff about the process of publishing. We talk about the Lightwoods a lot too.” Matthew settled with saying. James sighed and gave Matthew a desperate look.

“Has she spoken about me at all?” Matthew could tell it took great effort on James part to ask that, and now he noticed that despite his bold entrance, James was back creeping into a shell. Matthew put aside his own life’s difficulties for the moment, after all he was curious about James, had often asked about him even. Now Matthew was in front of him in the worst kind of circumstances, yet, he could see through James’ effort to find him that not all hope was lost. It wasn't a mere coincidence that they were six degrees separated in their social circles.

“She’s concerned about you. She never specified why it is but you’re back at home with your parents, and said that the haircut I gave you had been a tremendous help.” he admitted that much to James, owed it to him in fact.

The tension in James’ shoulders loosened, and he sighed deeply. “She was right.” He nodded and gave Matthew a wary glance. “I only ask because… your brother seemed to know about me. It was unsettling.”

“Charles?” Matthew couldn't believe his ears. As if his older brother would take an interest in someone unless it benefited him in some way. “Why?” James clasped his hands on his lap and looked away from Matthew. “What I’m about to tell you if something you’d have found out eventually… now that I know how close you are to that side of my family.

I was engaged to a woman named Grace, and we were in the middle of wedding plans when she told me… that she didnt love me. She longer wished to marry me. The problem was, we had already sent out invitations, booked our venue, ordered the food, everything. She left me in the dust to take care of the fall out, including telling our families. It was… humiliating, to say the least. I can’t help but think of how disappointed my parents are that I’ve spent my savings on this, instead of investing in my future.”

Now that James mentioned it, Matthew had heard some talk about a wedding from the Lightwoods. Thomas himself had asked Matthew if he had any expensive suits he could borrow, the minimalist he was. At James last sentence though, Matthew shook his head and reached out to clasped a hand on his shoulder. “I may not know much about your parents, but I know this, they want your happiness. Whatever money that was spent is inconsequential.”

“I could have gotten an education like they wanted,” James continued, shaking his head at Matthew. “It was the money they had saved up for that purpose. Of course, I had begged and convinced them that she was the one, that it was an investment to my future, they of all people would understand.” James shoulders shook and Matthew realized he was crying. “I’m… a failure. I’ve failed them.”

Matthew’s mouth parted, but recognized that this wasn’t an explanation for him, it was James finally letting go of the torment and closedness Matthew has witness in their first meeting. Matthew did what he knew was right, he wrapped his arms around him and squeezed. James froze in his hold, but after a moment rested his head on his shoulder. Matthew held James, forgetting about the ducks, the people walking the paths in the distance, about the darkening early evening sky. Matthew could hear James’ breaths evening out and eventually both of them pulled away. James quickly fished into his bag for more tissues as Matthew watched. He sat next to James, giving him the time he needed to collect himself.

“Why does your father hate ducks?” Matthew inquired, as the ducks waddled and quacked away.

“Childhood trauma…” James croaked, his voice still hoarse from crying. He coughed and Matthew gave James a reassuring smile. This seemed to brighten James, since he sat up straighter and gave a small smile back. “He claims they’re cannibals.”

“Cannibals?” Matthew laughed, wondering how on earth one would go about obtaining that information. “If you feed a duck anything it’ll try to eat it! That's what makes them animals.”

“Try telling that to him.” James shook his head. Matthew chuckled a bit more, and finally noticed how dark it was becoming. He let out a sigh and leaned back into the grass.

“The park closes at dusk, and I must get back to my flat,” He reluctantly informed James.

“Oh, then you should go.” James nodded, glancing at Matthew’s position. “Although… you look as if you’re about to sleep right there.”

“The grass is so soft,” Matthew pretended to close his eyes and laid down on his back. “Perhaps a short nap is in order.”

“Matthew,” James warned. Matthew let out a forced yawn, and his shoulders shook from James’s hands. “You can’t sleep here!”

“Oh alright, since you insist Jamie.” Matthew opened his eyes to give James a teasing smirk. He was not expecting to be confronted with James’ face mere inches away from his.

“James,” he huffed, correcting Matthew as he blinked up at him. Even as the daylight was dimming, Matthew could still see eyes of molten gold staring at him, and although they were a bit red, and nearly covered by bangs, Matthew found himself becoming lost in their light.

“Right,” Matthew cleared his throat as James pulled away, standing up and adjusting the messenger bag on his shoulder. Matthew got up and dusted himself off, checking his phone for the time… if he quickly went to relieve Thomas from dog sitting he’ll have time for a short visit to the hospital.

“So long,” James said, and Matthew’s head snapped up at the realization that James was leaving so soon.

“Wait!” He clutches James’ sleeve and received a startled look. “Wait… would you like to… come with me to my flat?”

“To… your flat?” James repeated, and started shaking his head. Matthew’s grip tightened, he had no idea why this anxiety came over him, but from James’ tug he realized he was holding too tightly. He released James with an apology.

“Sorry, you must be anxious to get home yourself.”

“Not really,” James admitted with a sigh. “I… can't confront my parents at the moment ”

“Understandable.” Matthew nodded, attempting to mask his sudden disappointment.

“I… would be willing to drop you off?” James told him. Matthew stared at James for a beat too long before breaking out a grin he couldn't contain.

“Great!” He clapped James’ back, and James chuckled at his giddiness.

“Only because you looked as if I kicked your puppy.” James teased.

“If you kick my puppy I will smite you!” Matthew threatened and James laughed.

“I wouldn't dare!”

Matthew and James arrived at the flat, and Matthew heard the barks of Adele greeting him. He put the key in the knob, but paused, with the sudden realization that he forgot to mention something to James. As he opened his mouth to explain, the door swung open to reveal Thomas, looking dishevelled as if he had been asleep. Matthew froze as Thomas regarded him tiredly, before his eyes landed on James.

“Oh hullo James, long time no see.” Thomas greeted, rubbing his neck bashfully but giving his distant cousin a friendly smile. James was stiff and silent and Matthew silently cursed himself for his recklessness. A blur of black and white bounded between Thomas’ legs, and Thomas chuckled as Adele sniffed James’ and Matthew’s legs as well, before stretching her paws up on Matthew.

“Well I should be getting home…” James said quietly, and Matthew scooped Adele up so she wouldn’t run around everywhere. He gave Thomas a helpless glance, which Thomas raised an eyebrow at but continued to face James with his friendly posture.

“Really? The kettle’s still warm, you could stay for a cuppa.” Thomas offered, and Matthew smiled gratefully at Thomas for at least attempting to amend the awkwardness that transpired.

“No really, my parents will be worried,” James glanced between Thomas and Matthew with a wistful stare that Matthew couldn’t interpet. “Enjoy your tea…” With that James briskly turned and headed down the steps. Matthew held Adele tightly as he watched James’ retreating back, and she licked his face sensing his queasiness. When the door downstairs shut, Matthew sagged against the wall with a frustrated groan, startling Adele and she leapt out of his hold, thudding on the ground loudly. Thomas ushered her into the apartment and shut the door, before facing Matthew with a bemused expression.

“Matthew? What was that about?” He asked kindly, and leaned against the wall on his shoulder. “James was always aloof, but that was weird even for him.”

“I don’t know!” Matthew wasn’t sure how much to tell Thomas, who was one of the people he never kept things from. He never disclosed that his thoughts wandered back to the memory of James, once he was away from the turmoil of the hospital, and had the energy that he lately almost never had once he was home. He hardly had the words to describe his instantaneous need to find out more about him, about how he subtly managed to get bits of information from Lucie, who was only too eager to offer, but then would immediately backtrack because he wanted to find out from James himself. How he had secretly been keeping his salon open all month in hopes that James would wander back, even if he couldn’t be there in person on his father’s worsened days. How despite only meeting him once, Matthew was completely, and utterly, under the spell of James open and laughing eyes as they conversed, when the man had entered his space guarded in spirit, and hiding behind his spectacles and books.

“Are you certain? Or you don’t want me to know?” Thomas saw right through Matthew, though how much he saw, Matthew wouldn’t know. He let out a deep sigh and put a hand on his forehead, he couldn’t keep this up even if he tried.

“I’m sick,” He began. Thomas raised his eyebrows and gave him an expectant glance to continue. “...as in lovesick.”

“Ah, well that can be fixed easily- Wait, what does that have to do with James…? Oh.” Thomas stared wide eyed at Matthew for a moment to digest this information, and then shoved his shoulder. “Lovesick? Really Matthew?”

“It’s no joke, I am gravely afflicted.” Matthew continued, and Thomas grinned at him.

“James huh?” He then looked concerned and leaned in to whisper. “Are you sure? He’s...well you see he was recently in a serious relationship…”

“He told me,” Matthew sighed, and stared at his hand for a moment, before placing it down. “I think… I’ve been too forward. I haven’t given him any time to adjust… I’m shameless.”

“How long have you known each other? You always take him to your flat?” Thomas asked genuinely, trying to make sense of the situation. “Also stop that, you’re not shameless, you’re passionate.”

“No, in fact tonight was my second encounter, and I basically dragged him over here without giving it any thought Thomas!” Matthew groaned.

“Well…” Thomas looked sheepish. “Then you may have a different problem on your hands and I’m afraid I didn’t help any.”

“What could you possibly mean?” Matthew stared at Thomas, how could he blame himself for something that he only just found out about?

“Well, consider how this may look to a man you’ve been ‘forward’ with. Being invited to your flat, together, with your dog, and arriving only to find a man not related to you sleeping on your couch and caring for your beloved pet. Also, said person happens to be related to him and knows about his romantic history.”

Matthew knew where this was going before Thomas even finished and slid on the floor defeated. “Bloody hell, I really messed this up!”

Thomas slid down to sit next to him and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Want me to contact Lucie? Maybe get James’ number to apologize?”

“Thomas, you are perfect,” Matthew patted Thomas’ face, who scrunched up his wide nose in confusion. “But not necessary.” Matthew took his own phone out and began to dial Lucie Herondale’s number. “That’s what I need to do.”

“Oh, then I can go home now? To sleep?” Thomas asked Matthew hopefully. Desperate scratches and whines came from behind the door and both Matthew and Thomas stood up. Matthew nodded at Thomas, phone in his ear, and waved his good friend goodbye, before opening his door and shutting it. He was going to make this up to James, as a new friend, instead of being lead astray by his selfish wants for something more. James deserved better, he deserved to be allowed time for that kind of a decision, Matthew decided.

[retechd]

National Margarita Day

Met up with my wing pretty much right after work at chipotle. Opened the girl at the register. Asked her about her tattoo. She tells me its supposed to say one thing but says another. I tease her about it a bit. She ask if i can read it. I say does it look like i can read that. She says yes. I forget what i said after but Im holding up the line so i move on. Girl at soda machine isnt paying attention. Walks backwards then turns around right in front of me and get a shocked face. I just laugh about it.

Talking with my wing having fun. Free flowing light convo. Point to register girl and tell him what happened.-she sees this-. She shortly comes around wiping tables down. I tell her i totally wasnt talking to her. My wing says we totally were. I ask what the name *tattoo* means. She tells me a story about her dead dog. I sympathize with her, i can relate then make it light by joking how shes just full of dark things and is depressing me. She has to get back behind the counter.

We end up walking to the bars from there. Wing opens a 3 set headed to TR. Asking if they are headed there. I almost immediately get in my head.

1. I was not expecting to open them because i was a bitch.

2. I started feeling like I couldn’t get in on the convo.

I could only think about saying things that pretty much echo’d my wing.

This happens again when two girls are hooting. Wing opens with “have you two been drinking already.” Has playful banter with them. Im already in my head but for some reason. Confident, good looking girls intimidate me if im not in state. The were both good lookin, very much in their own bubble of fun and obviously from the college which to me means they have money and are clichie. Same thing happens. I can’t get a word in. Even if i did it would only be an echo.

Go inside same venue. And after getting the drink prices we walk out. Circle the bar area then end up back there since everything else was dead. So this venue put me more in my head. Im not used to restaurant venues. Plus all filled with mostly the same demographic (white, money, clichie).

Note: I realize this is completely my interpretation and while i do have experiences to say this may be the case. It probably has more to do with my terrible game, especially in my first year than them being snobbish. I will write a frame for these people to start getting me to not default to my current prejudices which just dont help me at all.

Same with confident really attractive people. I give them a status in my head and feel inferior which I completely not the case. I’ve been friends with really cool people, wealthy people, and peope of status all my life. Its so unnecessary for me to feel “not worthy”.

So we are chillin with ourselves. Girls walk by but Im so in my head i can’t do anything. Which leads me to be more in my head ruminating on not taking action. My wing isn’t doing anything either. We are vibing with each other though; which is much better than just standing in silence looking around.

Wing opens two promo girls giving away drinks. Same thing, he is doing everything and I’m kind of just there. The girl closest me me keeps taking little glances at me. In the moment i thought she was feelin g awkward because i was just being quiet but now im wondering if she was just attracted to me. Other girl has big tits and a low V neck. I do my best to not look and fail a couple times...she maybe might’ve saw too. They gives us drinks, take a picture where im purposefully making it awkward as a joke. Then they move on to give more promo drinks.

Note: This is what Don does. He is not someone i should ever emulate. So mental note to never make things wierd even as a joke. Also never be awkward and try because anything is better than stewing in my anxiety and inaction.

A bit later i try to open a girl getting a refill. “You have an interesting look, what are you? *internally pause fearful she’ll take offense and add* “if you dont mind me asking.” I was leaning in -bad body mechanics telegraphing neediness- . She give me a side look and say “human”. Internally im thinking fuuuck you bitchface. I come back with thanks for a real answer. This stewed with me. I kept trying to let it go but it triggered something in me. My wing helped talk me through it, finally was able to stop being a bitch and realize im just not in abundance. She should have been insignificant but i wasn’t on a roll yet and was barely opening.

Fast foward. I decide to txt 2 girls i made out with from another night. Its been at least a week or two. One tried to blow me off with “im pregnant” to which i laughed my ass off, played with her a bit and deleted her number. Other one was receptive and says she’s available tomorrow. I tell her i’ll txt her then. Hit up my CMB and actually got her input on why she wanted to not go out again. She says it’s because it seemed like my mind was in the gutter alot. I consider this and figure she felt wierd because i didnt txt her the next day and also probably gets the vibe that I get nasty with more than just her. I thank her for the info and delete the convo. -my way of not letting myself get needy-

Open two big girls that sit near us, pulling up a picture of my buddy who would absolutely love them *he likes bbws*. They are fun. Not sure what was said but it was pleasant. New wing joins up late. Tell him we are grabbing coffee. Bounce to SH.

Feeling better. Talk to the hostess, just normal stuff but im trying to push myself. Talk with the waitress. Say something to a random girl that walks in and is smiley. The girls (lesbians) we met last time come over to say hi. Short but definitely a nice boost having a warm welcome. Definitely going to be part of our social circle. 2 wings meet up from before. We talk, having a good time. One drops off then we bounce to new venue.

I get in a set with a cute dominican girl, she kind of opens me. Talk about how many drinks we have had. I ask her name and what she does, then decide to deep dive a bit to root out core values (in HR but likes Logistics). Get light again, intro the friends, shortly after they pull her away. I stay and talk to the next person to sit next to me. Cowboy, rodeo dude. Short but keeps the momentum going. Try to open a girl on the patio trying to get a cigarette. Then try to do a new angle to get her to talk. “Why does it sound like your mouth is full. She laughs but is trying to keep food in then a guy (they know each other) comes in and tales all her attention. I stay light but shortly leave.

Check outside and see a girl sitting by herself. Called my friend for some reason to confirm for this weekend (they’re crashing at my place). Ask her for a cigarette in the middle of it. She doesn’t have one so i change the subject or something. This was a blur ( too many margaritas) but lots went right. We were talking having fun then the cute columbian girl comes over. Turns out this girl was part of the three i met earlier. Massive social proof now seeing as i cold open her friend and they come to find us both laughing and having fun. I know i was talking about having sex with my friends gf and twisting it to say that she wants it and hes cool with it. Sex is definitely a great topic for girls. Friends come in and we all start vibing. At some point a dude comes in, I’m friendly and acknowledge but quickly find out hes a friendly rando that gave them a cigarette so i ignore him for the most part. Game wisdom to ignore the randos and not give attention or be reactive to them. At some point the two friends that joined us start dancing a bit. I qualify her dancing saying I like that she can wiggle. She then bounces that ass on me. 😮!

Note: this rarely happens and amazingly i just made it happen by being cool, free flowing, unstifled, non judgmental and qualifying her / rewarding her behavior!

My target , dominican, is smiling but i can see the jealousy plotline instilled and she wants in. So she grinds her ass on her friends crotch and now we a grinding train with yours truly as the base 😁! Shortly after its time for them to go so hug everyone and get my targets number. The girl that was grinding on me tries to get in my ear and say she is going to be married in 4 months. -jealousy plotline in action!- I said we’ll she has to be sure. -it was weak, I didn’t know how to respond-. Should have said we’ll we can always be friends...maybe. I’ll consult the council.

Back inside my wings are still in same set. One of them leaves to the bathroom so i chat him up a bit. Its going super well, he’s getting her to deep dive and open up. Apparently they share a lot and make plans for brunch. He ask me to talk to the friend. I see shes alone an pulroceed to chat her up * i love it when i’ve got my social motor running and this isn’t an issue* I talk to her, bigger girl but shes cool. Get her name. Forgot exactly everything but i know it wasn’t particularly warm at first then she started opening up. She had so much unique jewelry that it was easy to keep pinging for stuff to talk about that is relevant. Then we get on to ghost stories, weed habits, and i forget what else. At some point i go on about being the god of sex and proceed to hold her hands to bless her pussy which i accidently pat, she didn’t seem to mind at all. But i feel tense about it and mention it.

Note: Need to hold the frame that everything is on purpose and going according to plan. Girls prey and tear apart weakness. It can turn an edgy action from a spike of fun to a bitch fest if they smell it.

So my wing, who was originally talking to them comes back and i give it back. When they leaves i hug and bless her pussy again. Go to bathroom and run into a buddy who bounces at a nearby bar on the way. Chill with him, his buddy joins and all vibing. Intro my new wing he hasn’t met. All of us vibing. Wing drops off and its just the dynamic duo. We bounce to a new spot. It is insane and poppin!! All college girls but super cluby. Im a fuckin fan! No opens but its fun. I felt fun but ready at the same time (to fight) maybe its because i know how aggressive kids can get. Outside, wing was ready to bounce, bum a cigarette and barely vibe. We bail, its already late.