#i do it for the girls and they gays yes but i primarily do it so the girls and the gays will compliment me

[love-takes-work]

I've seen a fair number of people interpret Rebecca Sugar's (and the Crew's) decision to put Ruby in a dress as subversive, and I want to discuss why that feels like a clear miss to me.

Every time--every single time--I've heard Rebecca Sugar talk about the queer relationships on this show, it comes with this expression of wholesomeness, and often glazed with a sheen of wistfulness, flavored something like "I needed this as a child and young person, and I didn't have it." Much of Rebecca Sugar's work to bring this wedding (and other unapologetic queer relationships) to the screen was framed as an emergency--as in, we HAVE to get this out there for those kids we used to be, because we know they're drowning.

Yes, it's funny sometimes when people make jokes about Sugar deliberately "adding more gay" or "making it gayer" as a big eff-you to the people who spoke against it, but that doesn't sit right from where I'm standing. It took so much strength (and resulted in so much battle damage) to fight that fight, yes. But from everything I can see from the interviews and conversations I've seen and read, this wasn't served up in a "ha-HA, take THAT!" kind of way. These characters having these kinds of relationships should have been a non-issue, and the fact that their very wholesome kids'-show wedding and very sweet kiss and very adorable love for each other was seen as Political when it should have been just two characters in love is so sad to me.

I've seen dozens of people suggest that Ruby is in a dress and Sapphire is in a suit "to fuck with the bigoted censors in other countries" or "to give the finger to gender roles," but again, I think it is simpler and sweeter than that. Rebecca's said that Ruby in a dress is how she feels in a dress. Celebration and exploration of feminine-coded stuff felt wrong to Rebecca for a long time, like it wasn't hers, because she wasn't really a woman and didn't want it forced on her. As a result she was robbed of all the beauty that should have been a non-issue, from what TV shows and toys she was supposed to enjoy as a kid to what kind of person she was supposed to marry and what she should wear as an adult.

Ruby never got a choice about how she looked really. Once she got to choose her presentation for a significant event, this is what she chose. It means so much more to see that than to construct it primarily as a reactionary measure, as if it would somehow foil the sinister censors in more homophobic countries (who, incidentally, are not therefore forced to show Ruby in a dress even though they tried to hide that Ruby was a "she" or that she was in a romantic relationship with another "she"; y'all, they just don't show the episode).

We see plenty of other examples of gender-role-related expectations being casually stepped on and squashed, like when they took the trouble to give traditionally masculine and traditionally feminine "clothes" to some watermelons to make the audience think there was a husband and wife watermelon only to have the wife be the warrior and the husband stay home with the child. With stuff like that, yeah, sure, maybe it's designed to make you think "oh isn't that very feminist of them!" Or maybe it's more "well why do I see this as a 'reversal' when it's just a thing that happened?" This show is full of ladyish beings who fight and have power. And as for Steven. . . .

Nobody has negative reactions onscreen (or even particularly confused reactions) when Steven wears traditionally feminine clothes, and it is (of course) also not presented as a "boy in a dress gag"--it's not supposed to be funny. When they go all in slathering Steven in literal princess tropes throughout the final act of Season 5, we understand that it's because the powerful Diamonds expect him to be Pink Diamond, not because the show is trying to girlify him or embarrass him or even make the audience think positive thoughts about boys in girls' clothes. It's more neutral than that in my interpretation: "these are literally just pieces of cloth, and while some of them have meaning, they don't inherently have a gender." I don't see this as transgressive. It's just in a world where putting on what you want to wear doesn't HAVE to be a political statement. (Though obviously it CAN be, and plenty of people wear a variety of clothes as a fuck-you to whoever they want to give the finger to. I just don't see that as happening here.)

Don't get me wrong; Rebecca Sugar certainly knew about the politics (intimately) and has lived at many of their intersections. She was not ignorant of how queer people are seen in this world. She was silenced as a bisexual person because her identity supposedly didn't matter if she was with a man and planned to be with that same man forever. She was shunted into "omg a woman did this!" categories over and over again, which she wore uneasily as a nonbinary person while accepting that part of who we are is how the world sees us. But what is it like if everything someone like her embraces is seen as a statement synonymous with "fuck you" to someone else?

She is married to a person who happens to be a man and happens to be Black. Her relationship isn't a "statement" about either of those aspects of his existence; her love is simply something that is. She is Jewish working in a society that's largely Christian. Her cultural perspective to NOT center her cartoon around Christian holidays and Christian morals; her choices to make an alternate world in this specific way is simply something that is. Her queer perspective as a nonbinary bisexual person has helped inform the Gems' radical philosophy of "what if we learned to explore and define ourselves instead of doing the 'jobs' we're assigned and being told it's our nature?" Her decision to include queer people in a broadly queer cartoon isn't designed PRIMARILY as a battle against baddies, or to drown out all the relentless straightness, or to deliciously get our queer little paws all over their kids' TV. It's an act of love.

So this is just to say that though I DO understand that sometimes subversion and intentional transgression are very necessary, I do not think that's the HEART of what's going on at this Gem wedding. We got a wholesome marriage scene between two of the most lovely little flawed-but-still-somehow-perfect characters, and I very much want to see their choices as being about them. About how Ruby feels in a dress. About how Sapphire feels about not having to always wear a dress. About them incorporating a symbol of their union into their separate lives so they can have some independence in their togetherness. About them celebrating their love by letting Steven wipe his schmaltz all over them.

There are many choices in the show that ARE carefully constructed to counter existing narratives, you know, giving the Crystal Gems' only boy all the healing, pink, flower imagery; having a single-sex species that's ladyish with all the members going by "she"; featuring many nurturing male characters who cry and cook and raise kids without mothers; pairing multiple fighty ladies with gentler guys; and importantly, intentionally loading up the show with stories, characters, and imagery any gender will find appealing despite being tasked with expectations to pander to the preteen boy demographic.

But it's very important to me that the inclusion of queer characters and the featuring of their choices be seen primarily as a loving act, and way way less of a "lol screw the bigots." I want our stories to be about us. Yes, I know it's a necessary evil that sometimes our stories are also about fighting Them. But every time I see someone say they put Ruby in the dress to "piss off the homophobes" or "stump the censors" I feel a little gross. Like the time I picked out an outfit I loved and my mom said I only dressed in such an obnoxious way to upset her, and I was baffled because my aesthetic choices, my opinions, my choices had nothing to do with her. Yet they were framed like I chose these clothes primarily to cause some kind of petty harm to her, when not only was it not true but I was not even that kind of person who would gloat over intentionally irritating someone.

The queerness of this show isn't a sneaky, underhanded act trying above all to upset a bigot or celebrate someone's homophobic fury. It lives for itself. Its existence is about itself. It's so we can see ourselves in a show, and it's so people who aren't queer or don't have those experiences can see that we exist, we participate, we want very similar things, and definitely are focusing way more about celebrating our love at our own weddings rather than relishing the thought of bigots tearing their hair out and hating us.

It's dangerous to turn every act of our love into a deliberate movement in a battle strategy when their weddings just get to be weddings.

I think there’s this idea that that [queer characters] is something that applies or should be only discussed with adults that is completely wrong. And I think when you realize that talking to kids about heteronormativity is just like air that you breathe all the time, it’s kind of amazing that that is not true in any other capacity. I think if you wait to tell kids, to tell queer youth that it matters how they feel or that they are even a person, then it’s going to be too late! You have to talk about it—you have to let it be what it gets to be for everyone. I mean, like, I think about, a lot of times I think about sort of fairy tales and Disney movies and the way that love is something that is ALWAYS discussed with children. And I think also there’s this idea that’s like, oh, we should represent, you know, queer characters that are adults, because there are adults that are queer, and you should know that’s something that is happening in the adult world, but that’s not how those films or those stories are told to children. You’re told that YOU should dream about love, about this fulfilling love that YOU’RE going to have. […] The Prince and Snow White are not like someone’s PARENTS. They’re something you want to be, that you are sort of dreaming of a future where you will find happiness. Why shouldn’t everyone have that? It’s really absurd to think that everyone shouldn’t get to have that! --Rebecca Sugar

[arienai]

You've heard the Miyazawa memes, now it's time to

Read Otherside Picnic

A post by me

What is it? Otherside Picnic is a book series by Japanese author Iori Miyazawa. They are often called light novels for marketing purposes, but are technically considered "full" science fiction novels. The series is loosely based off of Soviet science fiction novel Roadside Picnic, which itself inspired the film Stalker as well as the video game STALKER.

What is it about? At its core, Otherside Picnic is about two girls who stumble into a weird alternate universe filled with creatures from Japanese internet myths and creepypastas. They go into that world frequently to explore it.

It is primarily a series of novels as I mentioned, however, there are also anime and manga adaptations.

Otherside Picnic is yuri (F/F), explicitly so, however, only the novels have reached this point in the story. If you want canon lesbians, you want to read the novels. I cannot stress this enough.

Okay but what about the characters, are they good? I'm super biased but honestly these are some of the most tumblrina characters I've seen in a while and I'm shocked they aren't more popular.

Sorawo Kamikoshi had a deeply traumatic childhood (though she likes to deny it) and today is a self professed "grumpy otaku" at university who is extremely into spooky shit and creepypastas, which she tends to infodump about. She is very bad at making friends and before discovering the Otherside she often spent her time watching Dark Souls Let's Plays and Minecraft build videos. No, like, canonically. She is a huge loser and I love her so much.

Toriko Nishina was born and raised in Canada with her two lesbian moms but now she's going to university in Japan. She is extremely gay and knows it but is also a complete disaster about it. She has an outgoing personality but struggles to make friends unless she's attaching herself to a new cute girl. I don't want to get too far into spoiler territory but she has a violent streak and has some hot and extremely badass Tiktok Lesbian With an Axe moments.

There are a lot of other great characters too, but you'll have to read to meet them!

And it's explicitly gay, you say? YES, this is a lesbian romance story. Girls hold hands. Girls kiss (with tongue!) Girls ogle other girls' boobs. Apparently the latest volume (not yet available in English) amps it up even more 😳

You're telling me it's literally gay despite being written by the meme "yuri is two wild beasts/a field/etc." Guy? Yes.

Where did the memes come from then? They come from a couple of interviews with Miyazawa where he compared various abstract concepts to yuri. Some of this can be seen in his work, but for the most part it is a straightforward and easy to read lesbian story.

Okay! Where do I read it!: Since they are novels you can find them at many bookstores! You can also buy the ebooks for relatively cheap and read them on your phone.

I hate reading, can't I do the manga/anime? You can if you want but the anime doesn't really go beyond flirty territory with the two girls and the manga is still ongoing and hasn't hit the gay stuff yet. So it's up to you.

Is the series finished? No, it's ongoing. There are currently seven volumes available in English. But we have an extremely dedicated fanbase. Join ussssss you know you want to. Look at these two cuties

Anyway I have so many good things to say about this series, I love the way the main characters are outcasts who come together and help each other learn to love themselves. I love the spooky setting, I love the side characters and of course I love how gay it is, I feel like most weirdo disaster gays on here will find something here to like. And the characters are in their 20's!!! That's still relatively young but it's so nice to read gay stuff about people who are old enough to drink (which they do a lot of).

So yes in closing

Read Otherside Picnic

[aihoshiino]

chapter 149 thoughts

Chapters Since The 143 Kiss Happened And Went Entirely Unacknowledged And Unaddressed Count: 6

anybody else here unironically love getting yuribaited or just me

Honestly I kind of don't know what to think about this chapter lol. As it stands I didn't really hate it - in a lot of ways, it feels like a return to the humour and emotional focus of early OnK which is something I've honestly been missing in the manga while revisiting the anime. Mengo's art toys chapter was great and getting some proper Akane focus was nice. On the other hand, transitioning into this style of writing with no cushioning after the last arc is so incredibly jarring and the Akane stuff we get here is… well, we'll put a pin in it for now and address it later.

In general "put a pin in it" feels like the right energy for this chapter. As the second chapter of a new arc it's primarily setup for the stuff we're going to be dealing with for the next however long, I think it's going to be something we can really only chew on when we have a more solid idea of what exactly it's setting up, long or short term.

Anyway…! We start off with an explanation of why Kana seemed to flip so suddenly last chapter which does patch up some of that logic a bit. I think it's a little silly that she didn't actually overhear the conversation and thus clue into the actual goings on with how close she was standing but that's basically romance misunderstandings 101 so…

Her leaping to assumptions and giving up so quick also feels a bit abrupt but tbh Kana has always been deeply insecure and quick to leap to it's so over when it comes to her feelings for Aqua. Not only that but as others have pointed out since last chapter, from Kana's outsider perspective, Aqua was at his happiest and most at peace while dating Akane and has been in a mental health spiral to the point of expressing suicidal ideation since they broke up. Obviously we, the readers, know the extenuating circumstances at place but from Kana's POV it makes perfect sense to conclude that Akane makes him happiest and is uniquely equipped to do so. It just feels clunky in execution.

On the subject of clunky… I won't lie, it really bugs me that the first really significant AKKN interaction we're getting is love triangle shit entirely centered on Aqua. One of my biggest complaints about the series post TB was the way the end of that arc set up a huge status quo change to Akane and Kana's rivalry and then kind of failed to expand on it at all and that continued to be true all the way up to the Movie Arc. I'd hoped that them both working in close proximity as actresses on the same project would give us opportunities to dig into that. We got some lip service in that regard and then swerved hard into suddenly hyperfocusing on Kana's insecurities regarding Ruby while Akane got all of zero meaningful focus during the back half of the Movie Arc even though she was one of the characters with the most potential to bring interesting things to the table.

Honestly, one of my biggest fears with Akane's declaration that she'd stop Aqua's plan was that even though the two of broken up, she would continue to orbit Aqua at the expense of being allowed an arc of her own that focused on her relationships with the wider cast. Like - even if what she says about not being romantically interested in Aqua anymore is true, she is nevertheless entirely revolving around him to a really frustrating degree. It really feels like Akasaka realized Akane would have solved everything going on in the Movie Arc and had to panic and offscreen her as a result lol.

tho akane dismissively talking about the idea of clinging onto a past lover did make me do a very mean chuckle. ouch, better hope ruby didn't overhear that one, girl!

That said, for all my complaints, I didn't hate their little talk. Yes, it contained an absolute mountain of transparent-to-the-point-of-cynical KanaKane shipbait but it was pretty gay so who's to say if it's really good or bad or not. It's also just nice to see Kana and Akane being able to have a talk that isn't entirely hostile even if I really wish it was under different circumstances, or even that we'd just seen the road they took to being able to be so civil with each other. But whatever - we're here now, I'll take what I get.

Circling back around a bit, I am intrigued by the idea of Akane framing herself as having 'moved on' from Aqua when she very clearly hasn't lol. Like I indicated up there, I don't quite think this is the case nor do I think we're supposed to uncritically accept this as being the case - it reads moreso to me that Akane is trying to convince not just Kana but also herself that she's moved on from Aqua so Kana doesn't feel like she's in Akane's way if she tries to shoot her shot. As for why… well, that's something to talk about at the end of the chapter but I do think it's interesting either way. Akane wildly overshooting in her scrabble to convince Kana it's totally just platonic and going for sonzoning Aqua was also about the most insane thing she's said in a while but her utterly panicked and deranged expression as she said it made me bust a gut laughing.

In general, the expression work this chapter was on fire and there was a ton of really funny and really cute moments - Akane's blushy pout after Kana's quasi-confession, the fish-eye lens effect on her when Kana sees her outside her door and especially her and Kana's expressions in the second to last page… jesus i lost it so bad.

I've been gushing about Mengo's panelling and expressions for the last ten or so chapters but she really is amping it up lately. It definitely feels like her art for OnK has been getting really refined during the last few volumes and while this chapter was a little whiplash-y coming off the end of the Movie Arc, I also think it's a really impressive display of Mengo's range, too. Her horror and drama chops were on full display while all that was going on but in a more lowkey chapter like this, she brings a lot of life and charm to even simple things like the little montage of everyone wrapping up their day of the beach - it's three silent, tiny panels at the bottom of the page but she crams a ton of detail and character into each one.

I also am Extremely Shrimpterested in the note this chapter ends on. Something OnK does occasionally is use genre trappings as a smokescreen for what is actually happening on page and Akane's words at the end here seem to indicate this is happening here, too. This entire chapter goes extremely hard on the romcom tropes and dynamics but the way Akane's energy totally changes once she's on her own makes me think this is intentional and a reflection of the way Akane is setting up to use Kana.

Because I do think it's undoubtable that she is setting up to use Kana. Her sudden leap to captain of the SS AquKana is not about wholeheartedly supporting two people she loves (at least not primarily) and more about her continued efforts to save Aqua from himself. Kana just happens to be a convenient pawn in making this happen.

If I'm making this sound very cynical and cold of Akane: it is! But that's why I think it's so interesting. Akane is very like Aqua in a lot of ways and seeing this tendency of his to perform cruelty and manipulation to the greater end of doing the most good (or at least in their eyes) mirrored in her is very juicy and potentially very deadly in the hands of someone as smart and perceptive as Akane.

It's also kind of telling and kind of really sad to see Akane asserting that Aqua wouldn't be able to take revenge if he had a girlfriend at his side when that certainly didn't stop him back when he and Akane were dating. It's subtle but it's consistent with just how little faith Akane seems to have ever had in Aqua's feelings for her. Kana's not the only one struggling with long term insecurities in that regard.

I also can't not address the elephant in the room that is the story setting this up while the resolution to whatever the hell is going on with Ruby is still dangling over everyone's heads. I mentioned this last chapter but it really is getting to be bizarre just how much of a nothingburger that has been turned into, not just in terms of the characters' lack of reaction to it but the way the narrative has just entirely failed to give it any weight or significance whatsoever. I can only assume that one of the other girls making a move to pursue Aqua (if it does end up happening) will kick Ruby into action and we'll get god knows what sort of resolution there but a dark and evil part of me that loves to start shit thinks that the funniest possible resolution would be for it to never come up or be referenced ever again just for the sheer frenzy of confusion and bafflement it would cause. everybody loses!!!

[the-modern-typewriter]

Are you planning to publish any more books in the future? other than the God Key, already finished that :D

Yes :)

Though I don't have a complete first draft of either of the next ones yet. I have a lot of projects up in the air which means that it can be slow going on any one project.

Contenders for up next, depending on what I finish first, are:

Totally WIP/not really posted anywhere...

Moonlight Drowning - girl trying to rescue her sister from a fairy king (probs king, dithering on changing to a queen), appetite, desire, I'm thinking dark romance fantasy vibes.

Say Yes - my initial idea was a fluffy contemporary ace YA romance. But honestly, I'm not a fluffy person, and I might veer adult instead. We'll see what happens.

Then there is all the Patreon stuff. These are probably the closest to actual novels at this stage.

Adrian and Demarion - gay pirates, so help me god I want it done at this stage. It's been lingering on my to do list for far too long and it's driving my nuts!

For Kingdom, Come - dark fantasy gay royal romance??? Magnus and Leo. Idk. Good prince gets captured by evil prince. Shenanigans. Currently sitting at 48,000 words. Nearing the end. It's definitely in the last act now.

The Forbidden Section - weirdly fluffy/angst/ust romance about a Dark Lord (Eiran) and the scholar the dark-magic obsessed scholar (Akira) who he blackmailed into being his apprentice. It's primarily a romance with a sprinkle of magical school/chosen one plot. Currently sitting at 52,000 words. Over halfway through. Maybe beginning of third act?

The Birthday Gift - a novella about a villain's nonbinary sidekick (Absolute Zero/Zee) who gets giving the hero (Evolution/Jason) as a birthday gift. Story spins out from there. Currently sitting at 25,000 words. Nearing the end.

Cheating Death - human (Sebastian) walks in on his human lover (Kristian) cheating on with a vampire (Ansel). He finds out that he's secretly been their mission to protect all along, because he has magical blood that can cure vampirism. Plot shenanigans and polyamory to follow. Currently sitting at 37,000 words.

And that's not getting into the WIPs that are currently sitting on my abandoned/needs serious re-work pile.

Double Exposure - f/f serial killer thriller. The first few drafts are finished, but I'm not 100% happy with it. Needs a lot of work still.

The Forever Girl - a middle grade novel about a girl (Maeve) who becomes best friends with Time after her dad dies. I think I need to spend more time with children if I'm ever going to finish that one. It's outlined and the first draft is 75% written haha.

[n7punk]

"Our Love Is God" Fic Notes

OLIG finished off yesterday! For once I almost nailed the length, I was expecting 12 chapters but didn’t want to commit early on. HI I TRIED TO POST THIS SO MANY TIMES but apparently it was TOO MUCH TEXT in a single block and it wouldn't give me that error, I just had to GUESS because I knew that's been a problem before. Anyway. Here it is finally.

Playlist:

Obviously the West End and Off-Broadway cast recordings, but also I did still primarily use a separate curated playlist:

Good For You — Dear Evan Hansen (original Broadway cast)

The Worst Person Alive — G Flip

Ego Talking — Fletcher

Take Your Time — Chloe Moriondo

You Don’t Want Me Like That — Rachel Bochner & XANA

leave me for dead — GAYLE

pity — Charlotte Sands

Bodybag — Chloe Moriondo

spite — Charlotte Sands

butterflies — GAYLE

Tantrum — Charlotte Sands

Killbot! — Chloe Moriondo

LOVE IS A… — PVRIS

I Don’t Like The Quiet — The Haunt

Celebrity (Blood Bunny Version) — Chloe Moriondo

Doing Better — FLETCHER

Bad Girl — Daya

Not To Be Dramatic — Zoe Clark

My Perfect — Gen and the Degenerates

Often — Lauren Sanderson

Pretending — FLETCHER

Epilogue Life:

The original cast of Heathers played on stage for just over a year before most of them move on to other projects with the major cast change. Heathers (gay version) runs for about two years, going through two more cast changes, before closing. The original cast does go to see the new cast and cheer them on, but it is kind of weird to see someone else acting out a role that became like breathing to them. Overall the remake is taken very well but has just run its course by the time it ends. There will be another revival in a few years and it actually uses both the straight and gay versions of the musical between cast changes.

Catra carries Shot in the Dark for its entire two year run before it dwindles into a temporary retirement and gets revived with a new cast a few years later (same sets and such). She’s the defining lead for the show and obviously on the cast album. She’s really, really proud to have originated a magicat-led show and makes her new origination goal a sapphic role.

After Shot in the Dark, she takes a supporting role in another musical for eight months before leaving early to join Adora and Netossa on a new project. They don’t actually interact a lot in the show and aren’t love interests or anything, and they’ve long since learned to balance their careers while in different shows, but it does allow Adora to propose to her during final bow (with approval from Netossa). Adora tipped their parents off and they’re both in the audience to watch her say yes.

(Adora knew she was going to accept, hence the public proposal, and Catra’s relationship with her mom has gotten better now she’s a successful, independent adult. Also Felina would have been So Sad to miss it so Adora told them both). Oh also they moved in together as soon as their leases came up lmao.

Adora led one show in the mean time between Chicago and their show together, but it was smaller, not as demanding as Veronica, and she was really excited to hop on a project with Netossa and Catra again. She decides to make originating a gay role and collecting cast albums her career goal, in addition to getting in a few specific shows she and her mom looked up to when she was growing up. She already feels pretty fulfilled with her early career though and considers everything else the cherry on top.

Rest of the cast quick hits: Mermista plays Velma center stage in Chicago along with Adora. Fitting her braid in that wig cap is definitely a challenge lol. Sea Hawk starred in a Hello, Again short revival run which Catra and Adora were dying sitting through, but they support all their fellow cast members when they move on to new shows. Perfuma finally got up the nerve to ask Scorpia out on their very last night performing in Heathers together, getting her flowers and then revealing after the show — when everybody was already crying about it ending — they were from her. It was a very confusing confession until Perfuma was finally able to spell it out for her that she wanted to go on a date with her. Scorpia enthusiastically agreed (still crying before the whole “last show” thing), and then gushed to Catra later about how she couldn’t believe Perfuma liked her while Catra nearly tore her hair out listening to the obliviousness. Glimmer and Bow got to play a couple that were already-together side characters in a musical and that’s what finally gets them together because Bow realizes oh, I can’t risk losing this, and Glimmer is done trying to play the jealousy game because it clearly didn’t work and she doesn’t really have a flirty relationship with any of her new cast so they can finally just be honest with each other.

Chapter 1: Auditions

⦁ Things like homophobia and Christianity are usually world aspects I avoid in my fics, but they’re both present in the musical so they had to at least be mentioned in this.

⦁ Oh I should say this will have mentions of all the triggers warned for in the fic.

⦁ Adora and Catra both gave good but not necessarily the best auditions of the day separately. Catra’s was really good when she got permission to do it in her natural register and threw in a growl (she wasn’t actually audibly straining yet, but Netossa scouted her specifically for her voice and knew she was pushing it up near the top of her range), but her Candy Store was a little more uneven thanks to the lack of practice and register change. Adora did just fine in her regular song and really good in her Beautiful reprise, but there were people that did sing a little better technically. That doesn’t mean they would have been better over the course of the show itself, though, and what Catra and Adora had going for them was it looked like they were considering involving fists (the sexy or the fighting kind, take your pick) the moment they were on stage together. They eyefucked their way through both songs with such insane chemistry Netossa was like oh we can sell Fight For Me with these two EASY.

⦁ (Fight For Me is the second song in the musical where Veronica basically see JD in a fistfight and thinks it’s so fucking hot she immediately falls for him, and then they actually spend time together and it seems like they have similar views of the high school around them. And they do! But they definitely have very different solutions. Anyway, it’s a quick romance plot setup that doesn’t pretend not to be based solely on sexual attraction at first but that works and is realistic! The actors just need to have chemistry to make it read right, and damn do Catra and Adora have that).

⦁ Okay, every Veronica has been pretty, but there was some metric that made them not perfect conventional. For the first two Veronicas this was pretty much being brunette with messy hair lmao. For the West End, Veronica was played by Carrie Hope Fletcher, who I think is gorgeous and has blonde curly hair, but she faced a lot of backlash for being “too fat” to play Veronica. Adora is close to the Hollywood ideal, which is the point Netossa is trying to make: someone who could play Heather Chandler in one version of this show ends up the Veronica because she commits the sin of not meeting society’s hetereonormative expectations. Bigots will throw you out for any association with queerness. However, still meeting all those other metrics is what allows her to slip in with the Heathers as long as she helps them out and dresses femme — that’s part of her transformation, going from jeans in the opening number to skirts for the rest of the musical until the final sequence. When show starts, she’s wearing jeans and a ratty flannel with her hair in a ponytail. It’s a quick change outfit, so she runs behind the set to pull it off to reveal her main outfit beneath, brushes her skirt into place, and lets Netossa fix a scrunchy with a big bow on it on top of her existing ponytail to complete her transformation into a feminine popular girl.

⦁ “Janis Dean” is a reference to Mean Girls, and yes, that’s in-universe.

⦁ Catra got the casting call specifically because Netossa needed someone to match JD’s register — plus the growls in the right places added a lot of emotions to his songs. Including the sex ones.

⦁ Changes in Netossa’s version: - The aforementioned “Pretty Veronica” thing. When the Heathers give her the makeover she puts on the iconic skirt and has to wear skirts for the rest of the show, performing femininity in every extra way she can, to make up for her “deviance” of being bi (also, she’s bi. It’s another thing where any degree of deviation is grounds for rejection). - The line delivery (and some content) has been tweaked for the fatphobic stuff to match the changed metanarrative that comes from Scorpia, someone who isn’t actually overweight, playing Martha. The commentary then becomes that nothing is good enough and society’s fatphobia is thrown into light as completely unreasonable. The whole point of that aspect of the show is that it illustrates how awful the characters are, but genuine fatphobia and using it as a plot device to show a character is morally corrupt looks awful similar, so by having someone who is basically just tall and strong play Martha it makes it extremely obvious that the demands are unreasonable. This ties in well with Heather M’s story, where she does have that model body type and is pretty and popular but develops an eating disorder because she’s afraid of losing that. - Obviously a lot is different with JD. She “chooses” to be a lone wolf/outcast because of her personality and views on society, but there’s obvious undertones in their dialogue in the 7/11 that even if she did want to choose differently, she couldn’t because she would be rejected for being a dyke, so is she really making a choice at all then? She goes by JD specifically because it’s more gender neutral than Janis. She couldn’t ever be a Heather and she couldn’t even be a Veronica either, because Veronica could at least be comfortable putting on a matching skirt with her friends while this JD is butch, so she hangs out in her trench coat at the fringes of society. There’s also undertones to her being the only magicat in school due to her father moving around and not caring if he brought her into a hostile — conservative, racist, homophobic, etc — area. - Heather M. is only in with the popular girls for safety and there’s some dialogue around this in the bathroom scene with Veronica. It’s kind of public information (not officially stated but implied in her social media) that her actress, Perfuma, is trans. This wasn’t planned at the time of the casting call, but Netossa worked on it during workshops and the backstory became that Heather M started transitioning how she could before high school and is continuing to “in secret” now. Some people have clocked her though and she sticks so close to the other Heathers to keep herself from being the target of terrible bullying. As long as the Heathers tolerate her (Heather C is on a bit of an ego trip about having blackmail material on her and essentially owning someone in the palm of her hand), she’s given a pass and “has the best (cishood) assumed” about her. - Veronica and JD’s relationship is a little more secretive in this version, but the Heathers do know and Duke later tell her to just be careful not to “dyke it up” at school or they would out her (currently she’s just kind of clocked by some, not confirmed to the whole school). After Heather C’s death, Duke basically threatens Veronica to stay at her heel like Heather M or she’ll out them both.

Chapter 2: Workshop

⦁ You would have to be fucking blind to not realize Adora and Catra have history even in the glances of them Netossa and Spinnerella saw, and Netossa spent the first part of workshop trying to unpack whatever was going on with them. She had to put together the clues to figure out what it was. Once she decided exes was a likely story, she confronted Catra about it because she figured talking about it was the only way to handle the resentment. She was partially using reverse psychology and partially being honest about not resolving all of it being good for the show.

⦁ I made Freeze Your Brain more homoerotic. In the musical, JD does his entire song facing Veronica or walking around the stage and then offers the drink to her at the very end. He does not get in close and offer her the drink and then sip from it after her in an indirect kiss with her lipstick prints on the straw, but mine’s better.

⦁ In the actual show, Heather Chandler doesn’t put on any death makeup. The Off-Broadway would shine a blue light on her after she died to give her an other-worldly appearance and the West End didn’t seem to do anything at all, which was a mistake imho. In this one, when she “rises from the dead”, she does it a bit more dramatically and zombie-like under a blue light, and then she on-stage reaches over for her vanity and starts powdering her face, looks back at Veronica and says “What? I want to look good for eternity” and finishes as Veronica and JD write the rest of the suicide note before collapsing so the cops can find her.

Chapter 3: Previews

⦁ Once again changing the staging for my version (jokes on you, this isn’t just a Catradora fic, it’s me writing my ideal version of Heathers). Usually Heathers has some kind of bi-level stage. This one has catwalks hidden along the backs of the lockers, but they also have more sets. They have house facades they slide in front of the high school set/lockers for the croquet scene (Freeze Your Brain is the closest song) through to Heather’s murder, sliding them away again for The Me Inside of Me. They come back for Our Love Is God, although the second level with JD’s window isn’t brought back until the very end of the show. Kurt tries to climb the same trellis Adora used to get into JD’s window to escape JD as he chases him down. The full facade doesn’t come back until it’s time for Meant To Be Yours so JD can climb through Veronica’s window (that was once his). It is wheeled out as the entire stage narrows in on the center stage for the pep rally and finale.

⦁ Veronica doesn’t rebutton her shirt until after the nightmare scene in the West End version (I honestly can’t remember for off-Broadway), but for this show Adora just isn’t super comfortable hanging out shirtless in front of crowds every night, especially knowing some people are perverted about the lesbian version of Dead Girl Walking, so Netossa said buttoning her shirt and putting her clothes back on before they fall asleep was fine back when they were deciding what Catra was going to do since JD rips his shirt off undoes his buckle during this scene. Adora could have done it (she wears the bodysuit for Mona, after all), but Netossa didn’t mind making that small tweak for her. Catra cared less, but also because she’s not in the kind of underwear that straight guys like. They decided she would have a high-coverage sports bra, the kind that can pass for a binder, on (for this scene and for the entirety of the show since Janis Dean is supposed to be firmly butch). Catra does most of JD’s usual choreo here, minus the belt thing, because they do the version of the choreo where they never stand up and Catra isn’t wearing a belt at all.

Chapter 4: Candy Store

⦁ No wonder she was what way indeed, huh, Catra? Well, multiple. No wonder she was so frustrated, because Catra is infuriating when she wants to be. No wonder she was so hung up on her, because Glimmer also wants to fuck her inexplicably. No wonder she lived and breathed the word homoerotic, because Catra made sure they lived on the razer edge of it at all times. No wonder she was down bad, because again — see the last two point. This line is less of an insult and more of Catra being too magnetic for anybody’s good, honestly, but that annoys Glimmer because she doesn’t want to like her (like that, or at all) so it definitely comes out like an insult and Glimmer is good with that.

⦁ I need you to picture Catra’s “What?” after the brat comment in the same tone of voice as Elle Woods saying “What, like it’s hard?” because Catra definitely wants it hard.

Chapter 5: We Can Start and Finish Wars

⦁ I was nervous about doing this scene just from a trigger perspective, but I figured it would be okay if I kept it all contained to this one chapter, and it was something I really wanted to cover. It was my first thought when I heard You’re Welcome (since it was a new song). I also wanted to explore the support a cast really gives. You don’t have to improvise every night or anything, but there’s always something that pops up over a show and you have to adapt for when you’re doing shows night after night. This is why casts really have to have each others’ backs and are often close. Every person on that stage would have done what they could to help Adora get through the show, but Catra, Bow, and Sea Hawk were the only ones who could have helped in that specific scenario due to their roles, and Adora was good enough at covering it up that only her best friends noticed.

⦁ This chapter was a turning point for them between the lines with the show and reality blurring and Catra realizing (though trying to repress it) how important Adora is to her.

⦁ They do workshop a version of the scenes where Kurt and Ram just don’t come as close in contact to Adora and end up being even more slapstick with each other in place of the more aggressive choreography moments, and during Never Shut Up Again they don’t even come close to Veronica, instead running around the stage to tell the audience/school. They only use it once on Adora’s signal, and Bow voluntarily opts for it once based on vibes and Sea Hawk immediately adapts, but Netossa is right: it’s a good thing to have, and she’s really glad Adora agreed to collaborate on something.

⦁ This last scene wraps up the rest of the show to verify it goes well, but it’s mostly here just to showcase Good Director™️ Netossa. She really cares about her people a lot even when she’s a hard ass.

⦁ Adora doesn’t keep up too much with comments due to what she mentions about knowing there will be homophobia in them, but she’s not totally tuned out on them and a long flood of notifications still draws attention. After this time she becomes more committed to not reading them much, though.

⦁ Yes they’re going to the same dinner place featured later.

⦁ While out at dinner, Glimmer and Bow try to ask her how she’s doing and she gives them an even more abridged version of what she told Netossa and Catra because she just doesn’t want to think about it anymore, but of course Glimmer and Bow are super supportive, and Bow is really enthusiastic about them choreographing an alternate version of the scene because he just wants Adora to be okay and is proud of her for taking that step.

Chapter 6: No Time to Knock (I’m a Dead Girl Walking)

⦁ Chapter title from DGW

⦁ Dead Girl Walking honestly didn’t look that different that night, and Netossa did miss them making out after the lights went down because she was scrambling looking for a scrunchy, but she could tell Catra was going further with the choreo than she was supposed to, especially with the kiss during the kitchen scene when Netossa had given up looking for it until the show was over, and in a situation like that Adora couldn’t say no or stop her without changing the intent of the scene, hence Netossa threatening Catra about the consent issue despite how Adora didn’t seem upset. It’s just something she has to do as director. I ended up reducing it to a one-sentence mention later in the fic, but I thought about having a scene where, after a few nights of them kissing on stage, Netossa goes to Catra’s dressing room and asks her if Adora ever gave her permission for that, to which Catra says yes she’s fine with that, and Netossa corrects her and says did Adora ever give you verbal, explicit permission for that at which point Catra goes quiet and Netossa then demands she go to Adora’s dressing room and secure it before she’s allowed to leave for the night. Cure Catra awkwardly standing in Adora’s doorway asking Adora if it’s okay for them to kiss during the show as Netossa stands down the hall and waits for her. Adora was very bewildered but could tell Catra was being put up to it from the way she kept glancing to the side so she just agreed because she didn’t want them to get in trouble and Catra quickly fled. It just didn’t even up fitting in the flow of the story because it meant verbally acknowleding what they were doing earlier than they were supposed to so that’s why I changed it to Netossa privately asking Adora instead of forcing a confrontation, which is the better thing for Netossa to do anyway rather than force Adora to deal with it if she really were uncomfortable (the reason she did it in this version of the scene was because she was 100% certain it didn’t bother Adora but was doing her duty as director).

Chapter 7: Happiness Comes / When Everything Numbs

⦁ Chapter title from Freeze Your Brain.

⦁ Forever thinking about ND’s “and it was” comic.

⦁ Real shoutout to the person who informed me about the official stage recording of the later version of the West End Heathers because I definitely did not remember any of the dialogue outside of songs and it let me take notes to write scenes like the croquet scene, which is like 50% similar to the one that actually takes place in the musical. A lot of the dialogue not overtly related to Veronica’s queerness is the same, but a little bit of the action was changed around to extend the scene for the extra dialogue and include using an actual ball, because Glimmer being frighteningly accurate at hitting things with a giant mallet felt right.

Chapter 8: Fight For Me

⦁ Heather tries to get Veronica to admit she’s into girls so much so that she can have blackmail over her to keep her in line, although she doesn’t actually need her to admit it, she just knows Veronica would be more afraid of the threat whenever she makes it if Veronica is aware it’s something Heather has 100% confirmed to be true.

⦁ I didn’t include it because I didn’t want to have to cover every scene with differences in here, but in the 7/11 Heather bothers Veronica more about clearly being into girls and is mildly homophobic to JD. Then, in the scene after Dead Girl Walking and Veronica’s nightmare, as Veronica is freaking out about getting to Heather and making amends before Monday, she tells JD in clear terms “She’s going to out me and tell the school I’m bi” which is what Adora was referring to in chapter three when she mentions this version of the musical having the word bisexual in the opening act.

⦁ I know what y’all are going to think this was inspired by, but it’s actually inspired by a fucking Try Guys Korean bbq video where they went karaokeing afterwards. I’ve never been to a karaoke place like that and it got me thinking.

Chapter 9: Big Fun!

⦁ When the show started, Bow and Sea Hawk were both given like packs of the exact same underwear (one in blue variants, one in red variants, and one in black variants) so they could match throughout the show. It’d be easier to coordinate if it was all the same pair, but they wanted the variety for people who came to multiple shows. They actually have a lot of fun coordinating and then, on their own, decided to get a pair of those classical heart-print boxers that they throw in occasionally. Sometimes that’s just based on a day when they don’t want to wear something as revealing as the tighty-whities they usually wear, but usually it’s as a gag.

⦁ It was too awkward to shoe-in here, but part of reworking the choreography around You’re Welcome included the decision to have robes backstage for Bow and Sea Hawk, which they don’t often use, but if it’s a night where Adora is getting overwhelmed intermission is a lot more comfortable if Bow and Sea Hawk aren’t wandering around naked. Sea Hawk’s has feathers along the collar and cuffs.

⦁ Glimmer’s best friends all have abs and she has no idea how sharp her elbows can be.

⦁ Glimmer did realize she was flying a little too close to the sun with Adora if she responded to Catra’s flirting.

⦁ Yeah Catra brought her strap.

⦁ Catra was just a little tired during that show, so she asked Entrapta for some of the drain cleaner as a pickup since it has a lot of sugar, and she was taking a few seconds to rest before she had to go be feral on stage again.

⦁ When I first told my friend Meta I was doing a Heathers fic, Catra downing the fake drain cleaner like shots was one of the first jokes they made and I had to include it.

⦁ Adora thinks there is — a chance — that Catra wants to be dating after this exchange where she says it’s not “a problem”, but she’s definitely worried about saying anything too soon or too presumptive and scaring her off, so she’s just going to lowkey keep acting like they’re seeing each other and hope Catra will open up enough for them to have a conversation about it eventually.

⦁ The people at stage door the night they got “dinner”, and the night they actually got dinner, and the night they went home together, all definitely thought they were dating but only the ones from the first night even thought that might be news. The girl who was a big fan of Catra kept it to herself and her friends, but one half of the couple publicly tweeted the picture they got with Catra and Adora that night mentioning they got to take photos before they went off on a date, but that picture didn’t make its way back to Catra because she wasn’t tagged in it and not that many people “noticed” per se. Final bow was when everyone was like ah so there is something fruity going on there, but even then a lot of people weren’t sure, and it’s something that just got solidified over the coming months as they were seen together more, kissed in public, got a little sappy on Instagram, etc and everyone retroactively realized they were right.

Chapter 10: Beautiful

⦁ Usually the chapter titles are either lyrics that match the chapter or a song that features in a chapter, but in the case of “Beautiful”, it was a thematic match. Beautiful features Veronica picturing her future and the next phase in her life. For this chapter Catra is also exploring her future and her next steps. And also she’s gay for Adora.

⦁ The First Contact scene started as a Mass Effect joke (iykyk) and then I ended up including it. I honestly thought I was going to cut it because it’s kind of random but the point was to show how long they’ve known each other and they have their own world of games and jokes that they lost when they lost each other, so I ended up keeping it.

⦁ Cheekbone > Clavicle > Cupid’s bow (aka Achimenes longiflora) > Gums (aka Alveolar process).

⦁ Catra freezes up after Adora asks what she gets for a good show because she can’t bring herself to say “Me.”

⦁ Shot in the Dark is one of the episodes of the show I’ve rewatched the most, when they find Melog and Catra learns about the power of friendship. The musical was either going to be called that or White Out tbh (real ones know my relationship with that episode) but Catra is playing a magicat specifically in this role so going with the Melog episode felt right.

Chapter 11:

⦁ The blanket came from Lance, actually.

⦁ What’s my ideal choreography for Meant To Be Yours? So glad you definitely asked. This scene is usually presented so abstractly I don’t think someone unfamiliar with the musical/movie would even know Veronica is hiding in her closet. My ideal version (with the staging already set up in this play) is the house facade with the window being rolled in on one side of set (only one just cuz there isn’t time) and JD appearing on the other side of the window (with the light off so it’s more like he’s creepy in the dark) and doing his knock knock thing. Veronica in the middle of the stage panics and runs to the back of center stage, where it’s carefully choreographed for the ghosts (Kurt and Ram) to be rolling in an open doorframe that she runs through and Heather slams behind her. Then Kurt and Ram would lean against each side of the doorframe making fed up and “can you believe this dude?” faces at each other as JD has his whole villain speech in center stage before going to pound on the door and finally wrenching it open to reveal Veronica hanging on the other side with Heather kind of “in the corner” making a comedic fake shock face looking between JD and Veronica as JD breaks down. When he leaves and Veronica struggles to get down for a second, Heather would roll her eyes and help as Kurt and Ram wheel off the door and then quickly move the house facade off stage as it transitions to Dead Girl Walking (Reprise).

Chapter 12:

⦁ My idea for this AU was that Catra would have a “stage mom” and then their acting coach would have been Shadow Weaver to get that Trauma Backstory™️, which means Catra needed actual parents. I already had the pair from Trade Today For Tomorrow, so I wasn’t going come up with a new set of names, but it does feel kind of wrong to have changed Leona to be a “bad” mom. In general, if/when I do use them again, I’ll be using their TTFT personalities. Also, in this AU Leona isn’t awful or anything, but she really wanted to be an actress and it didn’t work out so she has been pushing her child in that direction even when it was painful, which gave them a tense relationship. Most of my other Catras would be thrilled to have parents like this, but Catra doesn’t have that context for None or Very Bad parents, so she’s just another person with an awkward relationship with her parents and doesn’t think about it too much.

⦁ Catra used to spend Christmas ever at Adora’s house and then Christmas at her own/moms’ when they were kids.

Chapter 13:

⦁ My original idea for a childhood dream musical was to stick Adora in Wicked because you know Mara is a sucker for that show, but for mezzo-soprano it’s mainly Elphaba, and the whole point was giving her a role that wasn’t lead. I settled on Chicago because something LGBT is happening in that prison and I think Mara and Hope would both like the show. Adora is going to play Mona in Chicago, a fairly minor character who gets a solo verse in Cell Block Tango when describing why she killed her lover for cheating on her. She appears (namelessly) in more songs but also gets off-stage time, and that song is absolutely ICONIC, so Adora is really excited to get to take part in it, even if it’s pushing the absolute limits of her dancing ability. She does a lot of practicing leading up to the show, so Catra is worried for a bit about her getting too busy and their relationship faltering about, but it balances out after the initial push. Adora’s moms are super psyched when they hear she’s going to be in the show and the marketing team ends up releasing the Broadway cast’s version of Cell Block Tango online at the open of the show to drum up hype for it, so Adora really hits one of her big career dreams — though still with room to grow, if she can get it with a larger role and a full album. This role shows her that headlining isn’t all there is to musical theater, though, and having smaller parts can really by worth it for the off-time.

⦁ Uh so. Mona’s outfit. The outfits for the inmates in Cell Block Tango are usually pretty close to lingerie. Adora has a bodysuit, because it works for the song and she’s more comfortable being covered in something skintight than just wearing two pieces, but it’s still quite a Lot for her parents to see it. They know what they’re in for though and everybody just neglects to address it after the show when they praise her voice. Catra loves Adora in the outfit though.

⦁ Based on my previous formatting Shot in the Dark, Chicago, and Hello, Again should actually just be written out without italics, but because the nature of the titles (length and formatting) make it confusing without italics and clunky with quotes, so I ended up just being inconsistent between them and Heathers.

Original Outline:

I outlined this one pretty heavily going into it, in the way I used to for my fics where I’d write like a one-sentence summary of every scene planned in a chapter going in. Of course, I knew I would add and change scenes as I went, but I was pretty faithful to the outline outside of additions. I was outlined out to chapter 8 but thought it would expand to about 12 chapters between the ending I hadn’t outlined (I needed to be closer to it to know what the right conclusion was) and scenes adding themselves in along the way to up the count, and I finally put that count on the fic when I was writing chapter 10 or so, but then I realized I fucking forgot about the cast album and I got the idea for the bar scene so all of Chapter 12 ended up getting added and expanding it to 12 chapters.

The only “big” thing that didn’t happen was the catnip thing, which was mostly a joke I outlined anyway, but it was just too much from several angles so I cut it before I finished it. The idea was someone pulling a prank on Catra by putting catnip on her vanity and getting her lowkey high. Non-destructively pulling something on a castmate’s dressing room is pretty common antics, but this felt… very targeted and tense even though the castmate was doing it fairly innocently and just ignorant of that angle to it, so I didn’t want to go through with it. Catra was going to corner Adora though and demand if she fucked with her dressing room, and when Adora was obviously confused by the confrontation, fall into her arms and aggressively scentmark her even as she growled explaining the vandalism, which Adora offered to clean up for her and let her use her dressing room to change so she didn’t get more exposure to it. Again, the “getting a castmate a little high” thing, even accidentally (they didn’t realize it had much of an effect) was just not a line I — or the cast — wanted to cross, though.

Upcoming:

The 4th anniversary SPOP Big Bang is going to run May 12th-18th and I’ll be posting daily for the first few days with my magical realism AU Lightbeam along with my amazing artist partner who made an illustration for every chapter! Keep an eye out for it :)

[stupid-starkid-headcannons]

trans starship anon here im going into specifics

bug: nonbinary but masc presenting. they/he technically but he truly doesn't care, gender doesn't exist on bug world in the same it does to humans. also aroace(spectrum) (buguary qpr realness) and bi

february: straight trans girl!! buguary is also t4t suprise! i think her parents were really supportive growing up, and shes just unapologetically feminine i love her for it

taz: kind of nonbinary kind of gender fluid she doesnt care whats in her pants? a knife. also butch lesbian because i love her. i dont think they've ever been in a relationship really (shes a 16 year old leutenant i dont think shes had that much free time) but if they were to be it would NAWT be a man

up: genders a bit wobbly but mostly masculine. he/him but doesnt really care about pronouns, i think pre-injury he was pretty hegenomic - and also very unconfident in his masculinity. but after his recovery, and after his talk with bug, hes kinda found himself out! Technically cis but literally who cares. also i think hes gay

specs: transfem nonbinary i have never seen a cisgender computer programmer/j. any pronouns but primarily they/she. i think growing up they always had really long hair so people kept mistaking them for a girl and eventually she just stopped correcting people lmaoo. also silly hc: specs was a nickname given as a kid because of their glasses that just kinda stuck. also aroace. maybe lesbian.

krayonder: trans man for sure, he/him. kind of an unrelated headcanon but i think he wears alot of stupid fucking graphic tees (alpha wolf howling at the moon, galaxy space pizza cat etc) and cargo shorts and its horrifying for everyone involved. also bisexual (damn son you get no bitches for real)

tootsie: trans man, he/him but honestly he doesnt give a shit hes just here for a good time. to me, farm planet is actually really accepting gender wise it was pretty chill ! doesnt really label his sexuality at all but i do think hes been attracted to men in the past

mega-girl: technically sexless but uses she/her, im not sure if that counts as being trans but shes gender enough so it counts. surprise tootsie&megagirl are ALSO t4t(ish) get hit with my beam. i think genders a little weird for her because while she "is not a woman" (her words) she is a megaGIRL unit so. im not sure if that means shes programmed with gender or not, either way she is comfortable with she/her pronouns so Shrugs. also sexuality wise she doesnt really label but Technically pan

junior: honestly, token cis man. im sorry hes awful /LH I LOVE HIM. tbh i think he would have to take ALOT of introspection and alot of therapy to even BEGIN to be thinking about his gender. embodiment of that "i might be nonbinary but i have a job so idc about that rn" tweet. he/him but with a bit of self care he/xe 😈 hes also gay but he has a job so he dc about that rn

im normal about starship. theyre also all autistic

yes yes to all of it

[analdyke]

proper new intro post.

my name is sue! i'm 24 and a boy-crazy cockslut cis lesbian with a bf. primarily an orientation play blog.

NO actual bigots and misogynists, NO minors. NO people who don't understand the difference between fiction/kink and reality.

yes - orientation play (all kinds), cnc, objectification, somno, breeding, pregnancy kink, watersports, anal, denial, incest, fauxcest, ageplay, mindbreak, hypnosis, ass worship, free use, intox, fisting, body mods, feeding, light scat, bondage, breast torture, cheating, petplay, hentai tropes, gangbangs, bimbofication, overstim, public humiliation, slapping, hole stretching, pseudoscat, written+drawn scat, exhibitionism, forcefem

no - hard cnc, hard impact play, vomit, raceplay, trad stuff, irl scat, overt patriarchy kink, detrans

also i like gay boys. so. you're gonna see gay boys sometimes 😌

😑 disclaimer i fw trans girls and do not wanna engage with dykebreaking stuff that states or heavily implies a lesbian would never like any cock and only wants pussy. things of that nature. really any stuff that has a sus vibe about trans people that's different from self-aware kink talk and reclamation 🫡 i want the dolls to have a good time here too 🫡 also unironic bioessentialism ruins my buzz

remember that this is a kink blog. we have fun here, and things may get kinda silly and nonsensical and unrealistic! if you don't get it you don't get it, that's fine. if any of this upsets you, especially if you're someone who equates fantasies with morality, i'm begging you not to engage: your own well-being is more important than whatever outrage campaign you may be participating in.

[screamingmandrakes]

meg | they/she | voldemort centric

THIS BLOG IS ANTI-JKR AND SUPPORTS RADICAL LIBERATION FOR ALL. TRANS LIVES MATTER.

welcome to my blog! i’m a multi shipper but i write voldemort centric fics. he is one of my two special interests and is primarily who you’ll see me talk about on here. For my Billford account (yes, my second special interest is a gay triangle) find me at @onesixerplease !!! the original post i had for this was accidentally deleted so let me fully reintroduce myself 🫶🏻

i write mostly dead dove content, so let that be a warning to proceed with caution when reading my works. I always appropriately tag and put warnings on my fanfiction, except for this blog. I don’t make a habit of reblogging/posting NSFW content but please be aware it is a possibility. this blog is 18+ and does not welcome minors.

I’m always open for new mutuals and fandom friends. come say hi to me! below the cut are my fics and other works created for me :)

Side Blog: @onesixerplease

Miss Granger

Hermione Granger/Tom Riddle | Voldemort

(Dead Dove, Do Not Eat.)

After finding herself trapped in an era not of her own, Hermione manages her survival by hiding in the Hogwarts’ library.

Unfortunately for her, it does not go without notice.

(This work of fiction depicts non-con. Please proceed with caution.)

Clever Little Mudblood

Hermione Granger/Tom Riddle | Voldemort

“You very nearly escaped Lord Voldemort,” red eyes peered upon her, furious, insane, obsessive. Hermione blinked back at her reflection in them, her hands searching the rubble behind her for any hint of an escape. “You very nearly fooled me, for you were smart, little Mudblood. You were quick, but never again will you run.”

and i feed on the fear that's behind your eyes

Hermione Granger/Voldemort

(Dead Dove, Do Not Eat. Please heed the warning on this one, it’s very graphic and was written to push the limits.)

“Death would have been a kinder fate,” she said.

A shrill laugh echoed her words, this time of his own. She winced, fingers clenching around the bed sheets. This wasn't Voldemort's wrath—no, Hermione knew that all too well. The red of his eyes flickered, lit with humor she felt no need to be privy to.

"You remain precisely as my memory recalls," he smiled as if it was a comfort shared between them. Hermione’s grip on the sheets tightened and she could feel her knuckles go white with the force of it.

“I know nothing of death, my dear. And neither will you.”

(A sequel to 'Clever Little Mudblood')

all is fair (in love and war)

Harry Potter/Voldemort

Despite the calm that comes with Harry’s rest, Voldemort’s anger lingers heavily between them. It is something entirely unmoored: His Boy, resting tenderly in his arms, an infatuation opposed by the fates themselves. Harry, the vessel of his broken soul, condemned by a prophecy Voldemort refuses to submit to.

Lord Voldemort has no master. Harry Potter has only one.

Happy House

Hermione Granger/Tom Riddle | Voldemort

(Dead Dove: Do Not Eat)

Lord Voldemort cries.

No, not Voldemort: Tom cries. Swaddled in grey blankets, a battered baby mobile spins idly above his crib as he shrieks. Chipped, faded yellow stars dangle from it, doing nothing to soothe the wailing infant. The windows rattle as thunder booms on the horizon, and the world around them kisses the day goodnight as the sun descends from sight. Pitiful attempts of joy fill the room: cracked paint peels from poorly painted rainbows on the wall, and the distant chime of a lullaby bleeds in from the hallway.

This is no place to hope, yet Hermione does anyway.

(AKA: Hermione raises Tom, and then fails miserably.)

testosterone boys and harlequin girls

Harry Potter/Tom Riddle | Voldemort

This must be karma, some kind of punishment, some form of purgatory. Tom is meticulous, never wrong, never out of place. He eliminates anything — or anyone — that threatens to usurp that. Tom Marvolo Riddle, by all means, does not spend his time in broom closets, crammed against a shelf while the Gryffindor seeker holds him by his hips.

“Is that what this is about? You…you like…” Harry’s sentence remains unfinished, but the implications are clear. Disgust curdles in Tom’s gut, putrid.

“Like,” Tom enunciates as if the word is poison on his tongue. “What a stupid thing to say, Potter. I admire your delusion.”

(AKA: Tom's a bratty virgin.)

Fan Art

Art for and i feed on the fear that's behind your eyes

Art for Miss Granger

Translations:

Ukrainian translation for Miss Granger

[spicybylerpolls]

I know this blog has died down a bit but there's been some "leaks" (take it with a grain of salt) regarding spicybyler. Apparently Mike wants to take his relationship with El "to the next level."

I see some people saying if the leak were true, it would be a horrible idea. Of course these are people who are viewing the show through a sex-less lens (which, honestly, is so so intriguing to me. because many of them primarily stan the show for this exact thing: sexuality.)

But I was wondering what you all thought about this "leak"?

Personally, I think it's positive (for byler). In my opinion, the Duffers have already set this up through visual metaphors in S4. (I could talk about this further but it's regarding the hose gate scene.)

Mike may want to "take this next step" but he's not going to have a positive reaction and he's not going to like it. This is my interpretation: he's going to be forcing himself to conform even further until ultimately he can no longer deny the truth.

A lot of people think the Duffers are "simply not going to have enough time" to focus on a scene like this in the midst of everything else going on. But I just don't think they're viewing the show from the right lens. This is exactly what they have time for.

Will is a central character in S5. Mike is going to be right there beside him most of the time as we already know based just on their filming schedules and production. Will's arc is going to heavily revolve around his sexuality. Yes, there will be time for other things too, but the main focus is undoubtedly going to be about his sexuality (because it will be intertwined with the supernatural storyline). This means Mike is going to be involved in this storyline too!!!! Obviously!!!

And since he is, they're 100% going to have to explain his side of things. Why he's behaved the way he has. Why he said certain things to Will. What better way to do that than Mike forcing himself to conform to the ultimate standard (in this context) and ultimately failing or disliking it?

This would *show* the audience exactly what they need to know without having to explicitly state it. Honestly, if anything this saves time. It's a perfect and easy way to show that Mike is gay without having to rehash moments from the past in his perspective in a long, boring storyline (because we've already seen those moments.) Rehashing the past means conversation means longer scenes.

The best and quickest way to show Mike is gay is to just put him in a sexual situation with a girl lol.

The audience would be like:

"Oh, cool, they're going to have sex and essentially come of age.... But wait ... Why is Mike... having trouble? Why does Mike look dissatisfied?"

Cut to a scene of Will, sad and lonely.

"OH............."

Please note that the purpose of this blog is not to be creepy or to make anyone uncomfortable. That's why I created the #spicy byler tag (I will tag all polls with this). If you don't want to see this blog or anything related to it on your feed, please block that tag. Not everyone is comfortable with this sorta stuff, and that's okay.

[heymacy]

thank you so much for your answer! i actually didn’t expect such a in depth response— it actually made me kind of excited to rewatch the show so that i can give those seasons a try! i watched shameless as it was airing around s3 so it was really hard for me to cope with the idea of watching ian ‘moving on’ and bashing mickey without knowing he would be back etc. but i guess it should be time to face that considering who he gets married to! tho, if it’s okay, i wanted to ask more cause i love to see your take on it! for what ive gathered caleb cheated on ian with a girl saying it ‘didn’t count’, but was he also the one who told ian to try to be with a girl? cause i remember seeing something about it and it really pissed me off that ian even went and ‘tried’, considering s1 was him being very vocal about non being into girls! as for trevor, i did know about the monica ‘get over it’ clip because i always see people comparing it to how mickey has always been supportive no matter what (of course!!!) and also how trevor kind of forced himself on ian. i wanted to know what’s your opinion on those relationships of his, especially trevor cause it seems like it’s been the most controversial one as he spent two seasons around him. it’s funny in a way because the writers didn’t want mickey back but they still made every love interests ian had to be ‘wrong’ and showing everything that mickey would never do! also, this is out of pettiness mostly but considering all those seasons are about his bipolar disorder, does ian ever say that to his partners as a way to break up? or can i have a little of happiness thinking he just really wanted to protect who matters the most *cough* mickey *cough*. again, thank you for taking your time answering my question, i loved reading it!

hello again! more under the cut bc i'm quite chatty :)

first of all, yes, the "it doesn't count" + trying to have sex with a girl thing is true, and it honestly never felt very in-character for me. it was definitely A Choice on behalf of the writers. in fact, he gargles with mouthwash afterwards (or maybe it's vodka, i can't remember) and says "i think i have PTSD", which (of course) is meant to be humorous, but i do think it was a very jarring and confusing experience for him.

ohhhhhhh boy. the trevor of it all. well, let's begin by saying that there's a lot of controversy surrounding trevor. there are some really rancid anti-trevor takes that i don't agree with, primarily the ones rooted in transphobia, which i think is disgusting and abhorrent. i think people are generally either very anti-trevor or pretty neutral on him. i don't think anyone out there is singing his praises, or at least i've never heard a take like that in the time i've been in the fandom. as for me & my opinion, i think he is an incredibly frustrating, pretentious, self-serving character and he irritates me deeply. i think that while he could have been a good friend to ian, he fucked things up by trying to be his boyfriend. they were incompatible from the start and i honestly don't know why they started anything in the first place. like i know why, i just don't understand it. they had no spark. they had no connection. their only commonalities were that they were 1) both gay and 2) into advocating for homeless + at-risk youth. and that's like, it. they had friendly coworker energy, not electric, bone-shattering chemistry. my rating? 0/10 stars. i was very happy when he was written off and ian was left to sort his shit out on his own, unencumbered by a dissatisfying, toxic relationship.

and caleb.......ugh. fucking caleb! i'm surprised he doesn't get vertigo from riding such a high horse. he treated ian like an accessory and consistently put him in uncomfortable situations for no reason other than his own pleasure and/or to manipulate other people. the ONLY good thing he did was lead ian down the EMT path, and that is it. otherwise he was quite literally the worst. imagine cheating on someone and then being like "actually, this is a you issue." alexa, define "cold-blooded" 🙄

to answer your question, ian never credits his bipolar disorder when ending things with any other partner, no. trevor ended because ian ran off with mickey and lied to him about it/cheated on him (though they did spend another season in each other's lives in a really strange capacity, which was an interesting choice by the writers) and caleb ended because he cheated on ian. caleb was a clean break whereas trevor was super messy and drawn-out. but no, he doesn't talk about wanting to protect them from his disorder during their breakups. he tells them both about it early on, is transparent about it, and expresses his concerns about it being a lot to handle, but it isn't credited as the reason for the breakups, no.

i think when it comes to ian protecting mickey from his disorder, it's important for us to view things through an ian-centric lens. why did he do what he did? was it solely to protect mickey, or was it coming from a place of insecurity? a place where he felt like a burden? a place where he felt hopeless and aimless and scared? post-episode and post-diagnosis, it's very common to fall into what i like to call The Pit, which is essentially a shallow bed of self-loathing and the desire to self-isolate away from everyone and everything. we see a lot of that in the end of s5 and the beginning of s6. he's made himself very small, is afraid to do nearly anything for fear of further destruction, and feels incredibly trapped and frightened by his circumstances. all of these factors contribute to his behaviors and choices, including (but not limited to) breaking up with mickey. did he end things because he didn't want mickey to spend his life coping with the realities of loving someone with this disorder? yes. but he did what he did because he was scared. and i think it's really important we make that distinction when talking about and analyzing that storyline.

as always, if there's anything you want to talk about or if you have any other questions you are always welcome in my inbox! i hope you're having a lovely day 💛

[sodapops0lstice]

Intro Post!

Because I've never made an actually good one...

Favs! Blinkies & Stamps! Sprite Drive!COMMS!!!! Classic Era Say hello to me!

@badlydrawndirk @badlydrawnjade @ectobio @our-fav-hs-char @alternian-life-advice @aviansaffection @arethesewordsinhomestuck @fuckyeahhomestuckladies @the-gang-makes-a-blog

⬆️I run all those ⬆️

My tags:

#soda's minifridge <- wishlist

#fizzes <- asks

#solar systems <- original posts

#neighbouring stars <- mutuals and pals

#grubpeta <- my earth c au

#cure pop <- PreCure Tag

#splatstuck <- Splatoon x Homestuck au

#jo au <- My fluff au where Joey takes care of Jade

#candy bowl for roxanne <- posts for my good chum and friend roxanne of marinealcoholic fame

#meteorites <- queued posts

#lesbian danny devito <- dog pics, block as needed

#the moon <- @dykemaxxing's very own tag for gay tomfoolery

Basic Stuff

I'm a freak by many a name. But I go by Soda, Cece, Admin, Ary, Xefros, Sol and Rezi mostly. Seriously. Any of those will do. Hell, I'll take new names aswell. Drop them name recommendations lmao

I'm 15 aswell, in Year 10. (I chose Triple Science, French and History if you wanted to know about my GCSE choices.)

I'm a lesbian and agender, which basically is me saying my gender changes for when it's funniest.

I use ALLLL the pronouns, even xenos and neos because I am badass and awesome. Literally anything goes.

I'm Scottish and Irish. Which is kinda cool, means I burn hella easy though which sucks ass.

I'm also autistic, I like to post about that.

I also also have depression and anxiety, I don't really care though because I'm balling 24/7 B)

Interests & Likes

Obvious is obvious but I'm a massssive Homestuck. That is primarily what I post/reblog. This includes Hiveswap/Hauntswitch

I also enjoy Pokémon. A lot. Like... 2200 hours on Ultra Sun alone enjoy.

Youkai Watch is also a big fav of mine. In fact, Youkai Watch 3 is one of my favourite games of all time!

I absolutely ADORE A Hat in Time! It is THE game for me. It means the world and everything to me.

Alongside AHIT, Undertale and Deltarune are some of my favs ever! (I don't cry everytime I replay UT what do you mean?)

In general, I'm a total loser for vidya. I can do a quick rundown of the gaems I like but probably won't be reblogging often

Crash Bandicoot

Kleptocats

Touhou

Gmod

Sonic

Papa's -rias

FNAF

Animal Crossing

Half Life

Persona 5

I don't often watch many series or movies. But there's a special place in my heart for Invader Zim, The Owl House, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Eddsworld and My Little Pony. I'm also super excited for the new Scott Pilgrim show :D

It's strange to say but I have a keen interest in reality shows. This means Gogglebox, Come Dine with Me, Four in a Bed, Kitchen Nightmares (both versions) and Impractical Jokers. Only the lord knows why. I think it's the autism. It's probably the autism.

I'm a fan of Pretty Cure aswell! Those girls are so beegitful <3 in those dresses... Yes I found out about it through Glitter Force but that doesn't change anything. Another anime I also love is Pop Team Epic that show irreversibly changed my sense in humour. I've been getting into MHA and Chainsaw Man aswell.

I also adore!!! Vocaloid it literally makes up 50% of my music taste. I black out and wake up with 20 new pieces of miku merch lmao

Music

I have a lot of different music interests! But my all time favourite band ever is Qbomb! I adoreeeee them to infinity. I literally don't know what my favourite Qbomb song is because they're all so good.

But! Qbomb doesn't have my fav song, that honour goes to Stacked Like Pancakes and their song SFDD. It's a really high energy ska song that I recommend highly. (You won't regret listening to it!)

Instead of just listing my spotify stats here, I'm gonna just get some images of those funky websites instead :)

Obviously this isn't completely accurate since this is from my entireeee spotify history. But it's basically all there!

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

How DCLA characters read + write fanfictions

Won’t do everyone but will do many.

Violetta can read all kinds of fics, although she knows her limits and if she gets uncomfortable, she stops reading. But, if she finishes a fic, she leaves the most heartwarming comment known to man. When she writes herself, she plans it out beforehand and basically writes the wholeass fic before posting the first chapter. Every title and author’s note has a song lyrics.

Ludmila refuses to read anything over 5000 words (unless it’s multichapter, but in that case she wants every chapter to be around 2000 words max). HOWEVER, she writes the LONGEST fics known to man. Her longest fic is currently 140+ chapters, the original plot disappeared LONG ago and now it’s simply characters doing slice of life things. But she has a dedicated reader fanbase that sometimes have rereads and they make memes and quote stuff daily.

Luna never checks how long fics are and have accidentally ended up reading a 100k fic in one night. She does read all kinds, but that’s because she doesn’t check the tags or ratings either, so poor girl has seen things… She also writes long comments that are just filled with emojis and exclamation points. She does post fics, but it’s very spread out and it’s rare that a fic gets updated. She posts new fics the second she got a new idea and then never update them. Her longest running fic got up to 5 chapters and that was only because she was very hyperfocused on that very fic. All fics are very slice of life and G-rated. She also very rarely writes any romance. If there’s romance then that’s not the main focus at all.

Ámbar only reads angsty stuff. She needs to FEEL something. She has read the most heavy, gory and graphic fics with a straight face. She never leaves comments but she’s there… reading it all… She also is not capable to write any fic herself without it being angsty. She has tried to cut it down, but every fic eventually has to change the rating to M or E. And… yes, she has 100% written smut.

Bia does not write fics herself, but she does like to read some others and often draws fanart of their fics. She’s known in her fandoms to be ”the fanfic artist” and everyone secretly hopes she’s gonna draw scenes from their fics.

Camila reads anything and everything, but instead of stopping when she doesn’t like a fic, she finishes it and then leaves a comment telling them she didn’t like it. In her words, they should KNOW she didn’t like it and why. She has BEEF with fic writers because of this. She also found Ludmila’s fanfic account and she LOVES to leave cryptid comments hinting that she knows her irl. With her own fics, she loves to create shock for the readers. She often kills of a random character, make people cheat, make people break up… and she loves confusing people, especially if they point out they are confused - then she’ll confuse them even more!

Pixie doesn’t read others fics because she is extremely picky with what she likes. So, that’s why she only writes them herself. It’s often VERY self-insertive, you notice she often writes about specific characters and it feels like she’s projecting whatever is going on in her life on them. Her readers often feel pretty touched by her fics though, thinking she just makes them feel so ”real”, and she only gets nice comments

Yam primarily reads and writes anything gay, ofc. She’s in a mix of fandoms, so the bigger fandoms are usually the ones she reads more in, and then she writes fics herself for the smaller fandoms, who would need some fics. She says she can read anything, but the second a fic gets a bit steamy she gets awkward about it and kinda has a hard time continuing to read.

Nina reads the most stuff, but she prefers reading romantic fics, especially about ships she likes. She has no problems reading smut, although writing it herself? No, she gets a bit more self-aware and can’t really do it. Since we’re on an agreement Nina is an author later, I think a lot of her fics are kind of ”first drafts” of her later published books (where she ofc has changed the names of everyone).

Francesca loves reading romance fics a lot, especially the fluffy ones. She also writes primarily romantic fics herself, although she often takes them down because she didn’t like how they turned out. So people often ask ”why did you remove your fic?”, especially because people generally like her stuff. But, if she doesn’t like it, she takes it down. She’s also known for uploading the same fic like 4 times and then removing it again from the website.

Helena was an active fic reader and writer when she was younger, and then sort of fell out of it. But then, sometime in her adulthood, she got back into it again. She often spends time looking for old fics she either remembered reading when she was younger or find some new fics she missed out on while she stopped reading. She also found an old fic she posted in like 2007 and then decided to update it with a new chapter all these years later, and literally started her author’s note with ”hi so I lost my memory for a solid 10 years and built my life back up again here I am! Hope you enjoy the new chapter!”

Maxi often reads his own friends fics because he’s supportive. He also really much likes to read crackfics simply because he thinks they are funny. He himself often writes chatfics because he thinks it’s a good flow in them. Also because he’s more into dialouge than description.

Simón is a person that likes to read fanfictions out loud. He’s the only one in the roller band who’s into fics, and he often finds the most odd ones to read out loud to his friends. He has read them as bedtime stories to Nico and Pedro, and sometimes him and Luna read a fic together out loud, taking turns doing voices for the characters. The only fanfictions he has written himself are self-inserts about himself and his friends.

Benicio never writes fics, and only reads some to mock them, only to drop comments like this

Diego only reads Ludmila’s fics and she does not know that he knows she has a fanfiction account. But he figured out it was her right away. He does not write fics himself.

Naty does not read a lot of fics, only occasionally her friends’ ones. She and Camila conspire that Ludmila has put OCs in her fics that are supposed to be parodies of them, but they can’t be sure yet. Naty has written probably the best fanfiction ever, but she does not post it because she’s not confident enough about it. So, it just sits on a document on her computer, unaware of the power it would have if it was posted.

Celeste read a lot of gay fics when she was younger and was like ”haha I don’t know why I’m doing this… why do I feel like this…” And then she kinda started to work on a gay fic herself, about a character Celeste personally felt connected to, figuring out her sexuality. And as Celeste wrote, she kinda projected her own feelings on it and realised her own sexuality while writing it.

[survivalistghost]

top 10 kdrama bromances to feed your empty heart

if you scroll through my page, you can already guess number 1.

#10 - our beloved summer : choi ung and kim ji ung

beautiful beautiful men choi woo shik and kim sung cheol played ung bros for life in this beautiful beautiful drama. one of the best handled love triangles ive seen. they were there for each other through thick and thin, and helped each other through sm. best. on the tenth spot because they could've expanded on it more :(

#9 - what's wrong with secretary kim? : lee young joon and park yoo sik

i could never make it through the series. i left it behind on ep9/10 i think, and primarily because i physically cannot digest how emotionless park min young is. BUT, kudos to the hilarious office best bromance by the great park seo joon and kang ki young. ps - why is kang ki young the pankaj tripathi of korean dramas?

#8 - strong girl do bong soon : ahn min hyuk and in gook du

can we ever forget the legendary wink? or the dream where min hyuk is dressed as a woman? i think not. this was more of a frenemy type bromance, united by their love for bong soon and ironically divided by it, too. i refuse to acknowledge this as a love triangle tho. bong soon was astronomical in not hurting gook du and i will not take any criticism. is it a bromance if one of them is pretending to be gay? (and no, we will not discuss any sort of iTs pRoBLeMaTiC debates here.)

#7 - tale of the nine tailed : lee yeon and koo shin ju

don't come at me with the lee rang comments. rang was his half brother, related by blood. their relationship was top tier, but the stay at home husband yeon and working husband shin ju was too cute to not be classified as a bromance. in the beginning, i saw their relationship as shin ju serving yeon, a dynamic that they both seemed to embody. but as the show progresses, yeon baby we know you love shin ju just as much :*

#6 - alchemy of souls : jang uk and seo yul

song joon ki seems to have an attachment to bromances. han seo had the best character arc of the ENTIRE kdrama universe fight me. that court scene where vincenzo pats han seo's cheek was max bro cuteness. still not over his death. he deserved better.

#5 - vincenzo : vincenzo cassano and jang han seo

even though i didn't very much like the show's first couple, bromance delivered well. hospital scene peaked, complete true beauty sameness. it was pretty hard to understand who was the superior officer in this tbh initially, since their comraderie was so cool, shi jin was kid to soldier in a split second. loved how they chose not to unnecessarily exaggerate the love triangle initially bec i was only rooting for the second couple.

#4 - descendants of the sun : yoo shi jin and seo dae young

business proposal was the first kdrama i saw. i finished it in a three day trip, and i remember thinking more about the bromance than the romance. i was NOT used to the clumsiness of kdramas in general, like wattpad fics incarnated. the bromance delivered well, made me root for the second couple, and was the only initial indicator of kang tae moo being human instead of archaeopteryx. that word was a nightmare to spell.

#3 - business proposal : kang tae moo and cha sung hoon

the most wolfstar bromance if I ever saw one. and NO, i do not ship wolfstar just like i do not ship these two. they are totally adorable, and specially since their personalities seemed to switch from when they were children. yeong turned all serious face and lee gon got fun. love their years of friendship sm, their wordless communication and yeong in general. the acting was amazing.

#2 - the king - eternal monarch : lee gon and jo yeong

#1 - guardian - the lonely and great god : kim shin aka goblin and wang yeo aka grim reaper

yes, i know I'm missing a lot of iconic ones. unfortunately, i haven't seen alot of kdramas and have left alot in bw (like true beauty bec i couldn't see second lead hurt).

spring onion slays ^

told ya, if u follow me u already knew what the first one was gonna be. being the simp i am for the goblin and grim reaper, these two achieved the max points for their bromance. that slow dynamic of goblin calling reaper's hat tacky to fighting with knives to that iconic 'saranghae' to 'HOW DARE YOU' to goblin boiling eggs with his powers while reaper chills the beer. they know each other so well. love love love them and you should too 🔪

in my heart, the trio of our boys beats nothing (except for the gookdu-minhyuk relationship of the crown prince and uk). but instead of choosing the frenemy thing, i decided to love yul and uk more. yul was such a quiet character, with incredible potential in him for me to hate him, but then...(the guy is literally too sweet and beautiful and nice i can ramble for days). and uk, man, our power baby who loves every version of our beautiful but slow girl, needed so much emotional support. uk and yul were not afraid to show their affection for each other, a trait i admired in all the three boys (jang uk, seo yul and park dang gu).

[ragnarokproofing]

this post is going to be under construction for forever, basically.

i haven't decided on my fake name yet. i live in chicago but i'm leaving soon. late twenties. male. i hold an MFA in creative writing and a BA in game development.

i write fantasy, primarily dark fantasy, but am also interested in urban fantasy and historical fantasy. i have a decade of experience writing and posting fanfic in many different fandoms.

my writing focuses on themes of masculinity and homophobia, transness, sexuality and kink, disability, and gay love/romance.

i speak english and have a questionable grasp of french and czech. i am studying norwegian and old norse/icelandic.

i'm open to tag games and the like but it will probably take me a minute to get to them.

fiction: i'm really passionate about YA lit, even though i'm not writing any right now. my favorite YA authors are laini taylor, alex london (yes, the one plagiarized by james somerton), and margaret rogerson.

my favorite (adult) fiction authors are cathrynne m. valente, ursula k. le guin, and brandon sanderson. my favorite nonfiction authors are neil price, richard preston, and lindsey fitzharris.

film: my favorite directors are masaaki yuasa, robert eggers, and the wachowski sisters. my favorite films are cloud atlas (2012), ravenous (1999), mind game (2004), pom poko (1994), and trick or treat (1986).

i love B movies, and i have a growing collection of DVD movie packs and vinegar syndrome special editions. i have the oversized "champagne and bullets" poster hanging on my wall, and i own the miami connection soundtrack on vinyl. i am one of the only people on earth unironically interested in the history of shot-on-video movies.

music: anything in the "alternative" sphere, but i have a special fondness for folk punk and psychobilly/horrorpunk. my favorite bands are the mountain goats, AJJ, florence + the machine, aganst me!, editors, and baroness.

study/academic topics: my thesis is largely inspired by my passion for viking/medieval scandinavian history and culture. i am studying old norse/old icelandic, in the hopes of being able to read the sagas in their original language.

i love medical history and know everything there is to know about WWI-era facial reconstructive surgery, and plan to write a story about it someday (i was into it before the fitzharris book, goddammit!). i will read any nonfiction book about a part of medical history, whether it's a specific disease or a technique or field.

other: lake superior and the minnesota north shore, minnesota public radio, food culture and food writing, candles and incense that smell like the woods, tattoos that look like woodcuts, collecting enamel pins, travel patches, and mosser cats, fiber arts.

my thesis: a grand-scale dark fantasy novel about a misanthropic wizard academic and an alcoholic viking mercenary trying to save the world. main themes: cultural homophobia, misogyny, and machismo and the way they affect gay men, fascism and surviving under hostile systems, sacrifice and what makes a world worth saving, languages and the way they affect our lives, romance.

vampire story: a short story about a vampire that works at hot topic befriending a community college student in 2007. main themes: being suicidal and what makes life worth living, connection, romance.

viking story: a short horror story about a viking that gets stuck in a cave while searching for his unrequited love, who may or may not be dead. main themes: homophobia and machismo, grief and mourning.

i don't like naming things.

i don't care who follows me.

this blog is occasionally NSFW.

if you post a lot about political issues, i will not follow you. this is because i am here for fun, not to be angry, depressed, homicidal, or suicidal. if you do not like that, get bent. it will not change.

if you are weird to me, i will block you.

if you, under any circumstances, refer to me or any of my male characters as baby, baby girl, girlie, bitch, princess, or any other infantilizing, misogynistic horseshit, i will block you.

that's it.

[psychicequalizer]

Hey bro! Not sure if Tumblr ate my original post, but I had an ask for you, sort of. Sorry about the fight with your parents, but this might cheer you up? You seem to like hot girls and rock music. (As do I, even though I am primarily gay). Presenting, a cover of “Rock You Like a Hurricane” by some very good (and very cute) female rock vocalists.

https://youtu.be/tQkqdkwFmcc?si=6DnR22MGng4BU-ud

oh yeah i did not get the original 😭 rip fuck this stupid baka website.. but yes i do and i’m gonna check that out rn

[whats-it-mean]

MUU THEORY/ANALYSIS

The COLORED is the thoughts of a friend of mine. The rest is me expanding on their thoughts!!!

The main interpretation I see is that what we saw in After Pain and Mu's more timid behavior is an act, this is a good interpretation! but my main thoughts after seeing It's Not My Fault were that it's perfectly possible for both of Mu's videos to exist together in the same timeline

1- I think it's worth noting in Mu's first drama audio she's panicked and quiet at first, needing to be reassured that she won't be hurt. This is fully reasonable, she's in Milgram lol. But I do think it's worth noting that while, as many have pointed out, her "I never did anything wrong" mentality was always there, it primarily comes out after she is questioned about her murder directly

2- in It's Not My Fault, Mu's eyes are green like they normally are until after her murder, in which they become pink and blue for a shot.

3- After that, her bug version is shown emerging from a cocoon

In my head currently, Mu was part of a group of friends that picked on another student, then Mu had the situation flipped on her. The repeated mention of sorry not reaching anyone is related to that, with her classmates possibly not caring that she's being bullied because she was once a bully herself, despite her remorse for her actions. She reaches out to the girl in forgot the name of who from here on will be called A, because A stood up for the girl her group picked on in the past, or at the very least openly expressed disgust for their actions while they were still ongoing. A pulls away, deeming her unforgivable for what she's done (heh), and Mu, as we all know, kills her. I think it's perfectly expected for Mu to withdraw into a the personality she had when she was the bully on not the one being bullied. After all, she spent an unknowable amount of time being punished excessively while actively repenting. Sorry never reached anyone, so why would she return to that? 

Basically my point is I don't really see Mu's timid behavior as a front, I see the opposite, in which her smug, avoidant behavior is the front. The front which Mu herself either is unaware of or unable to acknowledge, to the point where it's just another part of her psyche.

Was the innocent verdict pushing her further into this? Yes. Do I think another innocent verdict would help her? No. Do I think her guilty verdict will help her? Hell fucking no.

(hey, hey!! Mairu's thoughts on this start here)

Yeah, so- in one of her voice dramas (i cant remember which) she also adamantly explains that she never PHYSICALLY bullied anyone, which was clearly what she had done to her.

and then there’s the whole theory of Muu being in love with Rei which i am a FIRM BELIEVER IN!!!

Aside from all the results of the bullying both two and from Muu, we never get a true reason for why they’re being bullied- and as a kid who was been bullied my entire life i have my theories about that. My theory is that, Rei was always out as being gay/bi, and therefore received bullying over that. Muu was in the closet at the time, and upon realizing her friends were making fun of Rei for the same thing thought she HAD to join in because she didn’t want her friends to reject her and to lose her place as the popular girl, but over time she had a crush on Rei. I feel like i don’t have to explain my reasoning for this because she literally says ‘i love you’ while looking directly at Rei. That said, she felt guilty for bullying rei and eventually confessed. Rei always viewed Muu as one of the bullies, and rejected her, leading to Muu getting bullied by her friends. She desperately asks Rei for help and apologizes in hopes that the bullying would stop, but to no avail and over time starts blaming Rei- and, driven crazy by the bullying… yk. killed her.

again, thats all just theorizing, but it doesn’t make sense that people were getting bullied over nothing- when you get bullied, they’re always making fun of specific. and from first hand experience, its pretty common to be bullied for being gay and much more plausible than any of the other theories regarding why Rei was bullied.

All that said, this would give more backing to the idea that the confident queen bee Muu was really just a front, and the Muu we saw in after pain was the real her. We can’t exactly blame her for believing in the delusion she did nothing wrong after trial one since she was in a terrible mental state and wouldn’t have been able to process the information properly regardless.