#i don't want him fixed OR broken i want him put in jail for crimes against decent ships everywhere

[fateviled]

less than 12% left of this book and only 1% left of my last braincell to power me through it

[slasheddreams]

Internet Overdose [ bag of marshmallows / broken glass / blood rain ]

please proceed with caution !! ⚠️ If you’re sensitive to any of the below, please read with care !! Don't force yourself to read, and if you choose to read it, please take care of yourselves 💕 and if you decide to read this, and get upset, you have no one to blame but yourself. You've been warned.

content warning for: [ inspired by Needy Streamer Overload and the Internet Overdose Ending ] [ brief mentions of doxxing, mentions of paparazzi/stalking, mentions of harassment, mentions of puking, descriptions of being watched, mentions of medication and overdose, implications of self-harm and harm/murder, etc. ]

Please take only the recommended internet dosage~ ♥︎

“Ame. Ame! Ame, are you even listening to me?”

Placing his hands on his waist, the off white haired boy shook his head in disappointment. Looking up slightly, the purple haired girl sighed.

“I’m busy. Trying to get the confirmation for YOUR trip to the music studio, actually. Can I help you?”

“… You can start by paying more attention to me~ I’m a needy streamer, Ame~ I’m YOUR needy streamer, even <3”

Winking, the boy giggled as Ame rolled her eye in annoyance. Clasping her hands on the desk, she waited silently. After a moment, the boy laughed sheepishly.

“… I’ve been feeling a little sluggish as of late. My name’s been popping up a little bit of everywhere..! Some of it is good… and some of it not so much.”

Wringing his hands nervously, he stared at the ground with a nervous expression. Leaning back, he laughed weakly. Raising a brow, she reached out, placing her hand on top of his.

“Do you need to take a break? I can cancel tonight’s stream while we’re still ahead.”

The words “take a break” resonated in the streamer’s mind, like crashing tidal waves against his conscious. His chest tightened at the thought. Take a break? And undo all that hard work he had put in? It was just a little stress, nothing he couldn’t handle! Nothing some alone time before a stream couldn’t fix.

Squeezing his hands gently, Ame stood up carefully. Untangling his locked fingers from one another, she rubbed her thumb against the palm of his shaky hands. She always seemed to take care of him when he couldn’t take care of himself. She was more than his roommate. More than just his moderator. She was his friend. Even if he sometimes found himself wishing for more.

“… Naa! Why would I, the internet’s darling angel, ever need to take a break? I just wanted to tell my darling Ame how I’m feeling~ is it a crime to tell Moderator Ame things! Gasp! Am I going to internet jail!?”

Gasping, he placed his hand over his chest, shaking his head and dramatically stumbling around . Turning over his heel, he stumbled back, dramatically landing on top of Ame’s lap. She yelped, then, facepalmed in annoyance. Wrapping an arm around Ame’s shoulder, he nuzzled up against the smaller girl.

“Honey Buns, relax! I’ve got it all under control!”

“Angel… is your idea of having things under control smoking magic grass until your mind is too numb to perceive problems?

Laughing nervously, Angel sat up straight before stumbling out of Ame’s reach. Forcing a smile, he pointed at the paper in front of Ame’s desk with twinkling eyes.

“Didn’t you say you were trying to get the confirmation for the studio visit with Miss Robynn? You should get back to that, while I get ready for the next stream!”

Silence fell between the two roommates, hanging heavily in the air. It almost felt suffocating to Angel. He felt sick to his stomach. Trying to confide in his dear friend, only to backpedal, and not take himself seriously… he felt like such a joke.

…

I hope Ame isn’t upset because of me.

---

Sitting down in his room, Angel’s brows furrowed. Everything he needed to start the stream laid in front of him, the clothes, the makeup, the tweeter account for K-Angel. His eyes fell on Tweeter, the cacophony of voices and anons, swirling in hatred and vitriol, all aimed towards one person.

Him.

He didn’t understand, how could people be so hateful and cruel? He was the internet’s angel, yes, but he was still a person. His heart ached. Reaching over, he grabbed the pieces for his K-Angel persona. Even if he didn’t want to stream today, K-Angel would be streaming for all their adoring fans. And he couldn’t leave them hanging, no.

Pulling his computer close to his chest, he opened up his tweeter for K-Angel, tapping his fingers against his lips in deep thought. Eventually, once they had the budget and resources to do so, he'd turn over the tweeter account to a marketing professional. It should have made things easier for him, yet... He shook his head with a frown.

"Hey, cuties! It's your favorite angel! I'll be streaming shortly! I hope to see you there! ♥︎"

It didn't take long for the vitriol and venom to roll in.

Running his hands through his hair, he laughed hollowly. Closing his eyes, he mumbled. His eyes began to water, yet he bite his tounge. He could handle a little hate. He had to. Looking up at his computer, watery eyes fell onto the packet of Embian by his laptop's side. Hmm... Well, there's nothing a little embian couldn't fix, right?

Picking up the packet of Embian, he paused. His fingers twitched, he glanced at the chat with Ame. Maybe... just maybe he could try to reach out again...

...

Hah. He wished he could. Popping the Embian, he threw his head back, giggling with a smile. Rolling his neck, cocking it to the side, he cleared his throat.

"Hey, cuties!"

Smiling, he waved to the audience. Fake. All of it.

They despised him, and he despised them. They were nothing more than goddamned cowards. They only knew how to drag others down, they were only capable of causing harm, because their lives held such little meaning outside their own existence.

The instantaneous hate comments proved his point.

"Why would you say something like that... Seriously... What the hell is your problem?" Sneering, Angel rubbed his face in frustration. They were always like this, hating and bitching for no other reason than to do so. "Don't you see that I'm over here, busting my ass trying to stream every day? You goddamned cowards."

Rage bubbled in his voice, slight agony behind each word. Squeezing his arms tightly, he couldn't help it. His body ached from hours alone, just his thoughts and razor blade. Cutting deeper than any words could. Slicing deeper than any memory was capable of doing. Hatred welled up from deep within his chest, his hands trembling.

"All you know is how to drag others down with you, like leeches, like parasites. To be honest... I'm sick of it. I mean, how empty is your life, that you have to bully someone online like a cracker barrel crackhead harassing the waitress?"

Gritting his teeth, his eyes fell on the chat. A slew of comments, friendly and not, flooded the chat. However... one commenter caught his eye.

rain_candy >> ... Angel ?

... He felt like he was going to be sick. His throat burned as he clasped his hands over his mouth. Gagging, he tried to suppress the rising bile in his throat to no avail.

...

The stream cut out before anyone could make much sense of the transpiring events. His palms trembled, covered in the sins of his own anger. He felt ill. Shaking, he grimaced as he looked at himself in the glare of the monitor. It was all over him. He felt gross. There was only fluid, thankfully, but he didn't feel very comforted.

Tears welled up in his eyes, hands trembling in panic. He barely recognized himself.

"Oh my god, Angel- Holy shit, you look terrible-"

Grimacing at the voice coming from behind him, he coughed. Everything burned. He felt so stupid. Groaning, he whined as Ame lifted a towel to his mouth, gently patting away the vomit from his face.

"Ough... it's everywhere... Gross... Let me get you new clothes so we can wash those as soon as possible."

... he felt a bit of a fool. Yet, he couldn't help but lean into the gentle and caring touch. The soft hands, the towel, the love and care and attention. He probably looked extremely pathetic, shaking and in tears. He felt so riled up... and he couldn't justify any of it.

"... Sorry..."

Tugging the vomit-covered clothes off his person, Ame grimaced as she scooped them into the towel. Sighing, she pointed towards the shower. She didn't have to say anything, he already knew. He felt too ill to not take one.

Fumbling out of the chair, he stumbled out of the streaming room. There was so much happening in such a short time. He felt like everything was falling apart. It was so painful. Why was he such a mess? He couldn't even take care of himself. He felt so guilty.

---

Sometimes, it takes a little more than a good night's rest and care from a dear friend to get better. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she ran her hand along the back of the sleeping streamer's neck. Dragging her nails lightly through his hair, her eyes fell on his phone. Constantly flashing, constantly buzzing. Tweeter occupied his home screen like it was a virus. Shifting onto her knees, Ame scooped up the buzzing phone. Disgust, hatred, and vitriol filled his home screen. Did they even sleep?

Shaking her head, she shifted back onto the side of the bed. Grabbing his hand gently, she pressed his thumb against the home button. Unlocking the phone, she entered Tweeter, she grimaced in pain. A feed filled to the brim with hatred... no wonder he fell so violently ill.

...

"Ame... Ame..."

Leaning against the doorway, Angel whined softly. Stumbling into Ame's office, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders from behind. Nuzzling his face into her neck, he whined again.

"Ame... Ame, I'm hungry..."

"Make yourself something to eat then."

Mumbling softly, Ame reached up, gently placing her hand on his head. Earning another whine from the boy, she shook her head. Tightly gripping onto her, Angel huffed again.

"Nuh-uh. It's your turn to cook, I have to get ready for tonight's stream, duh."

The stream... Her brows furrowed in frustration as she thought about it. He had made himself sick because he felt the need to stream and puked on camera as a result. It was painfully clear he was destroying himself for something that didn't seem to be worth it anymore. Having fun wasn't worth it if it was inflicting pain.

"... Maybe you shouldn't. At least, not right now... I mean, just looking at my tweeter timeline and /st/... I think you need to take a break."

"... I can't do that. We have no other source of revenue. And, if I can't handle a little bit of hate, what good am I? I'm fine! It's fine. We're..."

Nausea hit his chest like tidal waves as his eyes fell on the open tweeter feed on his roommate's phone.

>> I WILL PROTECC KANGEL >> I love kangel, and I love seeing cute girls puke, so I'm happy! >> ive always hated kangel lmaaaooo

Gagging, he let go of Ame, stumbling backward. Clasping his hands over his mouth, bile rose from his throat. Running out of the room, Ame could hear Angel emptying out his already empty stomach. Sighing, she stood up, following him out of the room. Kneeling down by his side, she gently rubbed his back. Groaning, Angel slumped over on his side, laying his head on Ame's lap. Tears welled up in his eyes as he choked back a sob. He felt like shit. Someone. Anyone.

Save me.

...

"Maybe if I just try and stream like normal, maybe no one will really care! I mean, internet phenomena pass really quickly. In a week's time, I'm sure only internet freaks will remember, and it says more about them than it does me."

Laughing weakly, he tugged on the edge of his collar. His usual outfit was still drying from the events of last night, so wearing that was out of the question. Thankfully, K-Angel has many alternative outfits he could wear. His chest still ached, his throat burned in protest, his eyes watered slightly, but he couldn't let that stop him. Ame didn't have a job, and for now, this was their only source of income.

Laying his head in his hands, he tried to ignore the constant clicks and dings on his computer. Texts, DMs, posts, notifications, screen after screen after screen, god, why wouldn't they be silent? Groaning, he mumbled to himself. He knew, sure, if this didn't work out in the end, he could always fall back on his parents and sister. Sure, it wasn't the most ideal situation for him, one of his fathers was wholly absent, always at work, always off at some bar, always with someone else. His sister was okay, sure. A little mischievous, sure, and always a bit off-kilter (something about a thing named Aha?) but she was far from the worst. And his other father... he didn't want to think about it. But, at least he had somewhere to fall back. Ame didn't.

He hated to think about it like this. But, for Ame, he was all she had. He was all she had left, and he was the person she entrusted with his safety. She had no family, no safe spaces to go, and her memory seemed to short-circuit more and more often. If he wasn't careful, there was a chance she'd leave, and never be seen again. That thought scared him. He couldn't help it, he felt... oddly drawn to her. He wanted to be able to give her a good life, it's why he got into streaming in the first place. If he could make it big, he could always care for her and himself. And he'd never have to rely on anyone else, ever again.

But the internet is a place he despised. Even while being at its mercy. He hoped it exploded someday.

...

"Heya, cuties! It's me, your darling internet angel! Here for you through thick and thin ♥︎"

He was usually good at faking it, just enough to get through to the ending of a stream. He'd done it for 19 years on end, just enough faking to get by. Be a functional member of society, be kind, polite, and courteous. Societal norms...

Those only apply to misfits, don't they? And misfits can't win with normies. Ever.

He could feel his stomach churning again. At least this time, Ame made him take a bucket wherever he went.

"Let's get onto today's topic! Which is... corned beef!"

He's never actually had corned beef before. He didn't know why in particular this was what he decided to talk about. Ame has some in the fridge... maybe he should ask Ame if he can try some.

... If there was any more left by the time he remembered to ask.

"Corned beef is quite odd, right? It can come in a plastic package, or in a can...! But it's still the same thing... and another thing, it's actually called brisket in some stores. I mean, who was in charge of marketing there?"

Shaking his head, he placed a hand on his chin. "Brisket, the version of corned beef that comes in plastic packages rather than cans, comes in many shapes and forms! Sometimes, it's thinly cut" - he could see the hate comments flooding in, seriously, his puke? Talk about beating a dead horse - "or a thicker cut, and the quality, it's just never consistent! I mean, come on" - more comments, begging him to puke, to ruin himself all over again. Hah. He wouldn't give them the chance - "And the canned stuff? Looks like a cold corpse, bread's dead cousin! And corned beef hash? What even is that! No, like, seriously, what is it supposed to be used for?" These comments were getting on his fucking nerves. Seriously. Get a grip, commentators.

"... Never mind, I don't want to talk about it anymore. Let's talk about something else!" Pointing at the camera, he sneered. "Hey, hey commentator "puke-a-cola", I have a question for you! Do you know what's more confusing than corned beef?" Tilting his head, he relished in their panic. Online trolls are never prepared for a personal callout. "Hey, hey commentator "karma-wheel", do you know the answer? Or, or, "weed-killer"? Come on, don't any of you have the answer? Or, are all your brains filled with puuukeee? Gross, squishy, there's so little in there."

>> Ugh, attacking your fans? Talk about pathetic lol

Furrowing his brows in frustration, he scoffed.

"If I'm sooo pathetic, then, stop watching, crackhouse cockguzzlers! Close the damn stream! Or are you sooo obsessed with me, trying to gain a glimpse of me puking?! Perverts!"

Gripping his fist, his teeth sank into the skin of his thumb. Grumbling to himself in frustration, he laughed bitterly. The comments kept rolling in, one atop another. Shocked, offended, hateful, concerned, all sorts of comments rolled in. His stomach stirred, a wave of disgust and hatred boiling within himself. He hated them he hated them he hated them he hated them he hated them he hated them he hated them he hated them he hated them-

"I mean, what are you? A sadist? Oh, I bet you reallllyyyyy love to see others suffer! You just get off to their sobs, their pain, and SUFFERING. You disgust me, you're sick, you're sick, you're sick!"

He couldn't hold it back any longer. Any more and they'd get exactly what they'd want. He can't control his body, but he'll be damned if they get it.

...

The stream ended abruptly. She could hear him in the background, wrenching, puking his guts out. She felt bad for him, she wanted to help him, she really did. But...

He didn't want help. He was always too proud to accept it.

Sighing, Ame pondered. Does she want to go over, and see how he's faring? He was pretty angry with those commentators... she didn't want him to be angry with her too. Mumbling to herself, she curled up in her wheely chair, she pulled out her phone. Leaning on her fist, Ame couldn't help but mindlessly scroll.

If he wants my help... he'll come to me.

Scrolling through Tweeter, Ame paused a moment. Sitting up in her chair, she narrowed her eyes in worry.

>> His real name is Satoru, apparently. >> wait? Like, the sorcerer? No way! >> I heard he's also a shut-in who always skips out on school! >> and his moderator? I heard he's trapped her in their relationship, she's got no way out even if she wanted.

That... isn't good. No wonder he was so sick as of late.

... she didn't know if she should tell him or not. That might cause a spiral. Well, if he finds out on his own... either option isn't quite ideal.

---

"Urgh..."

Why were there so many eyes everywhere? Watching him, staring at him, waiting for him. Watching, observing, staring, witnessing... Was he even safe in his own home anymore? The scratching on the floor, the taps on the window, the nails on the wood... make it stop. Please. Someone. Anyone.

Running his hands through his hair, he grimaced, hissing in pain. The endless ping-ing from his laptop felt like a dawning, bellowing, shaking the room like a giant slamming its hands into the ground. Shaking an already unstable structure. Was everything falling around him? He felt so scared.

>> a metube with no angel... >> angels don't really exist... >> You won't believe why the famous streamer "OMGkawaiiangel" is being flamed online! >> Apparently people found out K-Angel's identity! And he's the son of a famous sorcerer! Who would have known? The plot thickens!

Stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT-

Gripping his hair in panic, a weak sob escaped his throat. Tears welled up in his eyes, a painful feeling filling up his chest. The doorbell - [ ding! ding! ding! ] - oh please, not the doorbell. Ringing in his ears, ringing, ringing, ringing, and ringing. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts so much. It's a burning, raw sensation, knawing at his skin. - [ ding! ding! ding! ] - It tears at his skin, a sickening sensation, painful and gruesome. And the tapping on the window - [ tap! tap! tap! ] - god god make it stop. Leave me alone LEAVE ME ALONE - [ tap! tap! tap! ] - please please PLEASE.

"... Angel?"

The eyes, in the corners of the room, from the windows, from the computer. They're all there, staring at him, watching him. Never looking away, never blinking, always watching. Aggressive, knawing dread. Tearing him apart, bit by bit, piece by piece. A dissection, all for your entertainment !

"Angel??"

Please. Please, god. If there even was a god out there. Please. His hands gripped the bloody box cutter tighter. ... when did he get a hold of that? Everything was blending together. His wrists hurt. His skin burned. Maybe it would help him feel better. It didn't. He was desperate to feel something. Anything.

"Angel? Where did you go...?"

Were they already inside? God, no, please. Anything but invading his personal space. Ugh, there really is no end to them, like gross little maggots, writhing inside his internet-ridden corpse... the visual made him feel a little sick. I can hear their footsteps outside. His eyes fell on the bloody box cutter. Sharp and small. He could rule it as self-defense, they stepped into his property. This would be their fault. They deserved every scar. They both did.

"Angel-! Angel!"

...

Blood dripped from a small, thin gash on her cheek. A crimson-red liquid welled up and overflowed, staining rosy cheeks in foul blood. Tears pricked the edges of her eyes, a tight feeling rising in her chest. The box cutter lay only an inch away from her face, gripped in his shaking hand, thick and viscous blood dripping silently from the tip of his blade and the wounds from his arm... and onto the ground.

Die. You don't deserve to be in this world, in my world. Get out, get OUT.

Die. Stop screaming, stop crying. It's so grating, so painful. This is your fault. You came to my house, through my door, into my room to torment me. This is your fault.

Die. Stop struggling. You asked for this! Watching me so closely, never turning your gaze to anyone or anything else. Didn't you want this? My attention? My gaze? I'm giving it allllll to you! Cut by cut. slice by slice. Vessel by vessel. Craving out a personal autograph, just for you ♥︎

Squelch ♥︎ Squelch ♥︎ ! Squishy ♥︎ Squish ♥︎ ! Tearing. Dismantling. Dissecting. Dying ♥︎ Dying. Dying. And then...

... pure silence. All pure silence now, not a sound in earshot. No eyes in sight. No tapping on the windows. No people at the door. Just, pure and uninterrupted bliss. Was this heaven? At that moment, all he could hear was the sound of Ame's blood, soaking the bedroom floor.

Kill me.

---

"I didn't know how to care for a guppy fish. So, I did a lot of research! But it died really quickly anyway. I don't even remember its name. I wish I was like that guppy."

His words no longer seemed to be making much of any sense. As of late... it was like he was lost in his own mind. I was so worried he'd do something drastic. That he'd harm himself, that he'd do something that he could never come back from, that he'd be unretrievable from his own mind.

"Heya, cuties! I have some unfortunate news today before the stream starts!"

He held a small portrait in his arms. Blood soaked the inner frame, and a small, frail-looking girl rested inside, behind the glass. She was a small, petite girl, with deep purple hair, soft purple eyes, snow like freckles.

"My one and only moderator left me! I don't know where she went... But, my withered pride won't take me until I'm satisfied ♥︎ So, streams will be planned and moderated by yours truly until I can find someone to cover ♥︎ meaning... well, there might be a couple delays in the foreseeable future... so, stay by my side, cuties ♥︎ As I guide you to the light."

There was a smile on his face, a soft grin matched with empty eyes. The light that shone in them has long since faded. But, he felt nothing, but pure ecstasy. Like he was floating upon some imaginary clouds, far above where anything could reach him. This was true, unadulterated bliss.

"You know, bad people are often referred to as "demons", right? You know, "so-and-so is a DEMON lol" and whatnot? But, is that really true?"

"Demons only killed like... 10 people tops. Meanwhile... God killed like 2 million! That's a lot more than any demon has ever done!"

"Soo... if someone does something reaaaally bad... doesn't it make more sense to call them God?"

.....

Jrypbzr gb gur Vagrearg Natry'f Fgernz!

Abj, fur vf gehyl unccl.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ENDING ?? - INTERNET OVERDOSE ♥︎

>> Try Again? > Yes!! > No!!

[anna1306]

The Lost Boys Incorrect Quotes

In my defence, I was left unsupervised, too lazy to watch the show I need to watch for my big fic I have hyperfixation on, there was The Golden Girls and I had my unhinged brain with me

Don't know if this needs part 2 or not, really, this is a trial part

And also I got encouraged by @britany1997 c:

Marko: I'm perfectly capable of managing by myself. I don't need help. I'm a totally independent person.

Dwayne: I know, I know, sorry.

Marko: Also I need 67$ for the cab.

High, emotional Paul: Our families are gone. And we're alone. And there are too many years left, and I don't know what to do.

David: Get a poodle.

David, seeing Michael: I can't stand being near him, I hate him too much! I know I'm gonna do something crazy!

Marko: Whenever you feel you're about to lose control, just take my hand and give it a little squeeze *takes David's hand* I guarantee you'll feel a 100% better.

Michael: Hey, guys, long time no see!

David: *silently drinks beer*

Marko: *silently prays for his broken hand*

Paul: *takes away the knife from Dwayne* GIVE ME THAT! Do you want to spend the rest of your life rotting away in some disgusting jail cell, bribing screws for cigarettes and toilet paper?!

Dwayne: It's not a crime to cut the cake.

Paul: Oh... I thought you were going to stab Sam.

Dwayne: Don't be ridiculous. Do you honestly believe that I would stab Michael's brother in the middle of the Boardwalk?

Paul: Oh no, I guess not.

Dwayne: Of course not!

Paul: ...

Dwayne: I would wait for him to go somewhere alone. There are too many witnesses.

Star: Oh... Maybe you are right.

David: Of course I'm right, do you think I got this old by being stupid?

After winning in the arcade game

Marko: You'll be back. You know why? You are too competitive! It's always been your worst feature. Actually, no, your ears are your worst feature.

Paul: Can you believe that?

Dwayne: No, I always thought your bony feet were your worst feature.

Star after breakup with Michael: I just don't know. Michael was my first. And now trying it with someone else... I haven't had anyone after Michael, you know...

Paul: Get out of here!

Marko: Back off, Paul. Not all of us are classified by the Navy as a friendly port.

Marko: When Laddie had colic, I used to give him brandy.

David: You give brandy for teething to enfants, you rub it on their gums.

Marko: ... I gave it to him in bottle for colics. He was very happy.

Dwayne: Put it in my bottle, I'll be happy too.

Laddie: I wish I had a dog! He would be loyal, loving, fun. He would never leave my side.

David: I wish Michael was a dog. Would have solved a lot of problems.

Dwayne: You could have had him fixed.

Michael, describing the boys: And Paul... Wherever he goes, he finds himself a date.

Sam: So do hookers.

David, going away: I've been an idiot through this whole thing!

Paul, mumbling to himself: Darn right you have

David: *immediately appears right next to him*

Paul: *shriek of a death*

[mishafletcher]

Are you a Gold Star lesbian? (Just in case you don't know what it means, a Gold Star lesbian is a lesbian that has never had the sex with a guy and would never have any intentions of ever doing so)

So I got this ask a while ago, and I've been lowkey thinking about it ever since.

First: No. I am a queer, cranky dyke who is too old for this sort of bullshit gatekeeping. 

Second: What an unbelievable question to ask someone you don't even know! What an incomprehensibly rude thing to ask, as if you're somehow owed information about my sexual history. You're not! No one—and I can't reiterate this enough, but no one—owes you the details of their sex lives, of their trauma, or of anything about themselves that they don't feel like sharing with you.

The clickbait mills of the internet and the purity police of social media would like nothing more than to convince everyone that you owe these things to everyone. They would like you to believe that you have to prove that you're traumatized enough to identify with this character, that you can't sell this article about campus rape without relating it to your own sexual assault, that you can't talk about queer issues without offering up a comprehensive history of your own experiences, and none of those things are true. You owe people, and especially random strangers on the internet, nothing, least of all citations to somehow prove to them that you have the right to talk about your own life.

This makes some people uncomfortable, and to be clear, I think that that's good: people who feel entitled to demand this information should be uncomfortable. Refusing to justify yourself takes power away from people who would very much like to have it, people who would like to gatekeep and dictate who is permitted to speak about what topics or like what things. You don't have to justify yourself. You don't have to explain that you like this ship because this one character reminds you a bit of yourself because you were traumatized in a vaguely similar way and now— You don't have to justify your queerness by telling people about the best friend you had when you were twelve, and how you kissed, and she laughed and said it was good practice for when she would kiss boys and your stomach twisted and your mouth tasted like bile and she was the first and last girl you kissed, but— 

You don't owe anyone these pieces of yourself. They're yours, and you can share them or not, but if someone demands that you share, they're probably not someone you should trust.

Third: The idea of gold star lesbians is a profoundly bi- and trans- phobic idea, often reducing gender to genitals and the long, shared history of queer women of all identities to a stark, artificial divide where some identities are seen as purer or more valuable than others. This is bullshit on all counts.

There's a weird and largely artificial division between bisexuals and lesbians that seems to be intensifying on tumblr, and I have to say: I hate it. Bisexual women aren't failed lesbians. They're not somehow less good or less valid because they're attracted to [checks notes] people. Do you think that having sex with a man somehow changes them? What are you so worried about it for? I've checked, and having sex with a man does not, in fact, make your vagina grow teeth or tentacles. Does that make you feel better? Why is what other people are doing so threatening to you?

Discussions of gold star lesbians are often filled with tittering about hehe penises, which is unfortunate, since I know a fair few lesbians who have penises, and even more lesbians who've had sex with people, men and women alike, who have penises. I'm sorry to report that "I'm disgusted by a standard-issue human body part" is neither a personality nor anything to be proud of. I'm a dyke and I don't especially like men, but dicks are just dicks. You don't have to be interested in them, but a lot of people have them, and it doesn't make you less of a lesbian to have sex with someone who has a dick.

There's so much garbage happening in the world—maybe you haven't noticed, but things are kind of Not Great in a lot of places, and there's a whole pandemic thing that's been sort of a major buzzkill? How is this something that you're worried about? Make a tea, remind yourself that other people's genitalia and sexual history are none of your business, maybe go watch a video about a cute animal or something. 

Fourth: The idea of gold star lesbians is a shitty premise that argues that sexuality is better if it's always been clear-cut and straightforward—but it rarely is. We live in a very, very heterosexist culture. I didn’t have a word for lesbian until many years after I knew that I was one. How can you say that you are something when your mouth can’t even make the shape of it? The person you are at 24 is different to the person you are at 14, and 34, and 74. You change. You get braver. The world gets wider. You learn to see possibilities in the shadows you used to overlook. Of course people learn more about themselves as they age.

Also, many of us, especially those of us who grew up in smaller towns, or who are over the age of, say, 25, grew up in times and places where our sexuality was literally criminal.

Shortly after I graduated high school, a gay man in my state was sentenced to six months in jail. Why? Well, he’d hit on someone, and it was a misdemeanor to "solicit homosexual or lesbian activity", which included expressing romantic or sexual interest in someone who didn’t reciprocate. You might think, then, that I am in fact quite old, but you would be mistaken. The conviction was in 1999; it was overturned in 2002.

I grew up knowing this: the wrong thing said to the wrong person would be sufficient reason to charge me with a crime.

In the United States, the Defense of Marriage Act was passed in 1996, clarifying that according to the federal government, marriage could only ever be between one man and one woman. It also promised that even if a state were to legalize same-sex unions, other states wouldn't have to recognize them if they didn't want to. And wow, they super did not want to, because between 1998 and 2012, a whopping thirty states had approved some sort of amendment banning same-sex marriage.

Every queer person who's older than about 25 watched this, knowing that this was aimed at people like them. Knowing that these votes were cast by their friends and their families and their teachers and their employers. 

Some states were worse than others. Ohio passed their bill in 2004 with 62% approval. Mississippi passed theirs the same year with 86% approval. Imagine sitting in a classroom, or at work, or in a church, or at a family dinner, and knowing that statistically, at least two out of every three people in that room felt you shouldn't be allowed to marry someone you loved.

Matthew Shepard was tortured to death in October of 1998. For being gay, for (maybe) hitting on one of the men who had planned to merely rob him. Instead, he was tortured and left to die, tied to a barbed wire fence. His murderers were both sentenced to two consecutive life terms in prison. This was controversial, because a nonzero number of people felt that Shepard had brought it upon himself.

Many of us sat at dinner tables and listened to this discussion, one that told us, over and over, that we were fundamentally wrong, fundamentally undeserving of love or sympathy or of life itself.

This is a tiny, tiny sliver of history—a staggeringly incomplete overview of what happened in the US over about ten years. Even if this tiny sliver is all that there were, looking at this, how could you blame someone for wanting to try being not Like This? How can you fault someone who had sex, maybe even had a bunch of sex, hoping desperately that maybe they could be normal enough to be loved if they just tried harder? How can you say that someone who found themself an uninteresting but inoffensive boyfriend and went on dates and had sex and said that it was fine is somehow less valuable or less queer or less of a lesbian for doing so? For many people, even now, passing as straight, as problematic as that term is, is a survival skill. How dare you imply that the things that someone did to protect themself make them worth less? They survived, and that's worth literally everything.

Fifth, finally: What is a gold star, anyhow? You've capitalized it, like it's Weighty and Important, but it's not. Gold stars were what your most generous grade school teacher put on spelling tests that you did really well on. But ultimately, gold stars are just shiny scraps of paper. They don't have any inherent value: I can buy a thousand of them for five bucks and have them at my door tomorrow. They have only the meaning that we give them, only the importance that we give them. We’re not children desperately scrabbling for a teacher’s approval anymore, though. We understand that good and bad are more of a spectrum than a binary, and that a gold star is a simplification. We understand that no number of gold stars will make us feel like we’re special enough or good enough or important enough, or fix the broken places we can still feel inside ourselves. Only we can do that.

The stars are only shiny scraps of paper. They offer us nothing; we don’t need them. I hope that someday, you see that, too. 

[emerald-echeveria-plant]

Me to myself: Holy moly, when are you gonna stop creating treasure planet ocs?

Also me:

WARNING: mentions of murder, r*pe, miscarriage, racism, fighting, and torture.

Name:

Hatred

Actual Name:

Ailani Keahi Amore

Name pronunciation:

Ai-lan-i Kea-hi A-more

Personality:

hateful, spiteful, ambitious, unforgiving, stern, delusional, & hot-headed

Age:

Five hundred years old

Species:

Amoretian

Ethnicity:

Half Polynesian Half European

Gender:

Female

Pronouns:

She/her

Sexuality:

Asexual - Aromantic

Height:

6'9

Weight:

150

Looks:

Backstory:

(it's very long so prepare yourself for a looong read)

Many years ago, a girl by the name of Ailani was born on the planet Amoretia. Her father the prince of Amoretia and her mother a witch. Ailani was the product of an affair between the two. You see, her father was supposed to marry the neighboring princess that would end a war between both planets. Not wanting his affair to be discovered, he ordered an executioner to kill Ailani and her mother. With one chop of the axe came off her mother's head. As for Ailani. She was thrown in a river to drown. Fortunately, a local priest noticed the child being thrown. In an act of mercy, they pulled the poor thing out. Thinking that whoever throw them away must of not wanted the baby. So, the priest took in the small thing and had her raised by the nuns. They decided to give her the name Ailani. For the next fifteen years, Ailani was raised in a church by the nuns. They taught her how to read and write. Act like a proper lady. And had all the bible verses engraved into her mind. Ailani wasn't exactly raised in the most nurturing and loving place. The nuns didn't really raise Ailani as their own. They treated her fairly but it was obviously they didn't really like her. Reason why? They were massive racists. They didn't like her for her skin color so she was often met with abuse and bullying. They'd harshly critique her, push her down a flight of stairs, or straight up bully her. Regardless, Ailani kept her head up high. Being taught that revenge and wrath were sins. That she should love her enemy, no matter how hard they hurted her feelings.. or physically hurted her. Ailani would try to hide her anger but it was obvious that there cruelty was bothering her. Not wanting to commit the sin of wrath against the others, she decided to take her anger out on the forest. She'd spend hours during the night, punching trees. Often muttering to herself about her mistreatment. Sometimes, she'd end up breaking a few of the trees. It escalated from trees, to boulders, and a few times, beast's that would roam the forest. Of course, Ailani could never bring herself to killing the beast. So she'd up letting them go. Ailani ended up becoming physical stronger because of what she wad doing. Some of the civilians noticed this as whenever she wanted to do a simple task, like opening a door, she would accidentally break it off its hinges. Ailani would apologize right afterwards and try to fix it.

One day while attending church, a couple of theives came in, trying to rob the people attending. Ailani was not going to stand by and watch the people get their goods taken away from them. In an act of heroism, Ailani decided fight against the thieves. They laughed in her face and mocked her on how "a tiny little nun was gonna take down four men twice her size." They underestimated the fact that underneath that nun outfit was JACKED woman getting ready to knock their lights out. It took less than a few minutes for the four theives to beg for her to stop. Ailani told them to repent their ways before they were taken away to jail. Unfortunately, what happened right afterwards was Ailani getting kicked out of the church for "acting like a deranged hooligan." It was an obvious excuse for them just to kick her out but Ailani didn't seem to notice that. She was broken by this but instead of lashing out at them, she thanked them for having her there and wished them all well. Ailani moved away from her small village to seek work elsewhere.

As she was looking for work in the city, Quartzville, she stumbled across another problem. A pirates were invading the city as an act of revenge towards the king. Just as Ailani was going to leave to avoid further escalation, two wannabe "heros" came out to protect the citizens. One being a red haired young man by the name of "Sevi" and the other a valiante woman by the name of "Maribelle". They looked to be around Ailani age but clearly weren't as mature. The two tried to fight them off but embarrassingly failed. Ailani, not wanting to view their failure any longer, tried to leave once more. What stopped her was seeing the captain of the crew, stealing a toy away from a little girl then mocking her sadness. Angered by this, Ailani told the captain to knock it off. He mocked her as well which resulted in Ailani fighting him. She almost lost but by some sheer luck, managed to get in the final punch in, knocking him out. The royal guards arrived just on time in order to arrest the entire pirate crew. Some escaped but the majority weren't so lucky. Meanwhile, Ailani was cleaning the blood dropping down her nose when one of the wannabe heros walked up to her. It was Sevi. He seemed rather impressed by her strength. He introduced himself to her and asked if she would like to be apart of their hero group. Which only consisted of Sevi and Maribelle. Ailani wasn't sure if she should. She didn't know if in the eyes of God if this was the right thing to do. She has already been kicked out of her previous church for fighting and already felt guilty for committing another "sin". Sevi, realizing she was a religious person, decided to manipulate her by using her religion. Saying that "of course god would appreciate you for doing this" and that "you'll be just like all those heroes in the fairytal- I mean stories."

After being "convinced" it would be a virtuous act in the eyes of god, Ailani agreed to being apart of their group.

For the next few months, the trio would fight crimes and put criminals in jail. They were praised for their acts of heroism by the people of Amoretia. They'd often be gifted things like money, clothes, and alcohol. Mostly it'd be Maribelle and Sevi partaking in the gifts. Ailani on the other hand not so much. She didn't want compensation for her help, believing that it was wrong of her to get something in return. Strangely, Ailani would oftenly be the one doing most of the work. Sevi would often to get distracted trying to show off and Maribelle would let her anger get the best of her. Ailani would just get straight to the point. Shed be the one favored the most out of the three of them. Ailani didn't care that she was more liked, she's doing her job. Meanwhile, Sevi was growing jealous of the favoritism she was facing. Maribelle, could care less. She only wanted alcohol after all.

Sevi would make it obvious he was jealous towards Ailani. Ailani being kind-hearted would try to make him feel better. This would work sometimes but most of the time he'd brush her off. Ailani still persisted in making him happy. Secretly, Ailani had feelings for Sevi. She thought he was attractive, smart, and charismatic. This was the first person she was ever in love with. Someone she felt that understood her as a person. Ailani often felt that it was her fault for his unhappiness, so she tried to make him happy in any way she could. Realizing that Ailani would do anything for him, Sevi had some rather interesting thoughts he could do with her... Such as making her risk her life to get him things, convince the public that he deserves all the credit for their victories, and had her do some inappropriate favors for him. Ailani didn't care how stressful his tasks were. If it made him happy, she was happy. They ended up getting into a relationship when Sevi thought she was "good enough" for him. Ailani was enthralled with their relationship, finally getting to be with her one true love. She believed that they were meant to be.

Although their relationship came crashing down, when the trio went to a party at the king's castle. Their they met the king, the queen, and the princess, Angelina Amore. Angelina was a beautiful pink haired maiden with a bubbly attitude. Albeit she was incredibly spoiled, many men still wanted to marry her. One of those men being Sevi. It wasn't purely out of love but more out of wanting to be king. He immediately asked for the king for his daughters hand in marriage. The king turned him down, not wanting his daughter to marry a peasant. Although, he quickly reiterated his answer when seeing Ailani at the party. He couldn't believe it with his own eyes. Was that his daughter?? The same child he requested to be killed many years ago?? Alive? No. It couldn't be. After processing what he saw. He thought to himself that she shouldn't be kept alive. His reasoning being what if she revealed that he cheated on his wife? The resembles of her looking like him was far too much. He could be kicked from his throne if the people of Amoretia found out. Amoretians don't take cheating on your spouse very lightly... Deciding she shouldn't be kept alive. Yet the people loved her so much. Her disappearnce would obviously go under investigation... The king decided to make a deal with Sevi. If he got rid of Ailani, he could marry Angelina as a reward. Sevi agreed to the deal.

After the party, the king let the three heros stay in his castle for the night. As they all went to sleep, Sevi snuck out from his room and went to the servants room. He proceeded to slit their throats, killing them in their sleep. Sevi then went to Ailani room where he placed the knife he used in her bed. He proceeded to covered her hands in blood as well as the sheets. In the morning, the queen screamed at the sight of her servant staff lifeless bodies. Immediately, people started questioning who committed such a horrible crime. Then Ailani came out of her room, covered in blood. Seeing the blood, the queen blamed her for what happened. She wanted Ailani to be executed for her crimes. Ailani tried to reason with the queen, pleading that she was innocent. She even tried to have Sevi to convince her that it wasn't true. Sevi, turned his back on her and said she must have done it. The king stepped in between the two women, trying to calm both down. Albeit, the evidence was too far stacked against Ailani. The king sentenced her to life in prison on the planet Xevari. She was then dragged away by the guards and put on a ship where she'd be shipped off to Xevari. Xevari was one of the worst planets to be on. The entire planet was dedicated to being a prison for the worst possible inmates, who've committed the worst crimes. The guards would often treat the inmate like dirt. Some inmates were violently killed and there bodies were never found again. Fights would happen everyday over the smallest issues. It was quite literally a hell on Earth... As soon as Ailani arrived, she was treated no different than the other inmates. Even though she was on the worst planet in the eitherium, Ailani tried to be kind and thoughtful towards everyone. This only made the inmates and guards despise her. Ailani would be picked on by everyone in the jail. Didn't matter if they were a low ranking officer or a the biggest guy in courtyard. Ailani would be treated awful. Yet, she still persisted in being kind. One day a new inmate arrived. A special type of inmate was put in the prison. The inmate was a large hell beast of dragon with a skeletal appearance. It killed anything in it's path for killing was all that it knew. Ailani took interest in the creature. One night, she visited it. What she saw was the dragon with several scars and a spear piercing one of its wings. Ailani felt pity for it and immediately tried to help it. The dragon tried to attack her but after realizing she was helping him, stopped to let her pull it out. After that incident, Ailani formed a bond with the creature because they shared similar experiences. They were both tormented by the inmates and guards. There was unfortunately nothing that they could do about it. Ailani wasn't as strong and the dragon was chained down. But they had each other. Ailani decided to call the beast "Carrion". A play ok words as he seemed to always "carry on living". The dragon didn't understand puns buy none the less took the name regardless. The guards noticed her befriending the hell beast and decided that they weren't going to let her have a simple slice of happiness within this jail.

The guards decided to punish her by throwing her into a room with all the deranged lunatics. Saying, "try being kind to these crazies" before chuckling and walking off. What happened next was Ailani getting forced on by all the men in the room. It was a horrible experience and one that would finally be the breaking point for her. Once they were done with her, she was left in an emotional state. Hyperventilating and crying. Ailani questioned how she got herself into this situation. Why would god curse her to suffer through this fate? What did she do wrong? After questioning herself, Ailani was dragged back into her cell. Where another guard proceeded to rape her. The following days, Ailani would be in a state of shock over what happened. She had thoughts running through her mind still questioning her own religion and actions. Ailani hadn't realized this but she was pregnant at the time from being raped. She unfortunately went through an incredibly painful miscarriage in her cell. No one came to help her or take her to a doctor. While having a psychotic breakdown, Ailani finally came to the conclusion to all the roots of her problems. Love. Love was the reason why she was here... She has her love to the wrong people, she loved the wrong person, she loved... In that very moment, Ailani became a hateful person. She wanted revenge and she was going to get it. Ailani silently made plans on how she could escape from the prison. She went with the best possible outcome. When the guards weren't watching, Ailani took the pair of keys they had in their pocket. She unlocked herself from cell and immediately headed towards Carrion's cell. Ailani freed him from his chains. What followed next was mayhem. Carrion destroyed and killed multiple people as him and Ailani made their escape. No one could seem to stop the beast so they best thing to do was run... Eventually, they got off of Xevari with Carrion flying away while Ailani was on his back. Ailani told Carrion to go to the planet Amoretia. She promised him that there was plenty of victims to eat if he listened to her. That same day they were arriving to the planet was the day Sevi was marrying Angelina. The spoiled princess finally agreed to marry him after some persuasion from her parents. Just as Angelina was walking down the aisle to her new husband, Carrion flew down and devoured the princess. Carrion blew his acidic fire breath towards all the guests as Ailani went for the king and queen. She blamed them for her issues and wanted to kill them both. With one chop from an axe came off the queens head. The king desperately pleaded with Ailani to not kill him. He even said that he was her father in a last attempt to save himself. That only fueled Ailani's anger even more. She chopped off all his limbs and went for his head last. As for Sevi, he met the same fate as Angelina. Albeit more gruesome. Carrion tore the tiny man apart before eating him as well. Amoretia became disarray. All the royals were now dead. Who would take charge next..? Unfortunately it would be whoever was the last blood relative... Ailani.

No one wanted her to rule seeing as how she was responsible for their deaths in the first place. But they had to bow to her... You see only blood relatives could be in charge of Amoretia for they could yield the magical staff that protects Amoretia. Passed from the older generations, the staff was entrusted to the future generations to protect Amoretia. To use it's magic to help others in need. Ailani now knowing of this power, took it for herself. The staff dramatically changed from it's colors of white, red, and pink to black and red. Instead of using its power for good... She used it to torture others and make them suffer. Ailani changed her name once she got a hold of the staff... She changed it to Hatred. For that was the only feeling she could feel now. Hatred made it clear that she was the eitherium's savior and it needed a deep cleansing to get rid of love. She blamed love for all the problems that exist. Saying love was an unnatural feeling, a disease of sorts that plagued ones mind. Hatred was going to get rid of all love. In any way she could, no matter how hard it took.

Her tyranny started with her forcing her new ideology on the people of Amoretia. The people tried revolting against her but with the help of her new staff and her pet, Carrion, they were silenced into submission. She managed to "cleanse" Amoretia by getting rid of all love. Hatred went from Amoretia to neighboring planets in order to "cleanse" them as well. Multiple planets faced the same fate as Amoretia. Becoming incredibly miserable to live in. A war started between Hatred against the entire eitherium. No one wanted to believe this insane woman's ideology and they certainly weren't going to submit to her either without a fight. So the war went on, with both sides facing multiple casualties. Hatred went on with an ironfist, refusing to give up. She'd often take kidnapped soldiers and torture them back on Amoretia. Pictures of the soldier's mutaliated bodies surfaced with the intent of driving fear into her enemies hearts. Albeit as the war went on, she became very paranoid. She felt like someone was plotting to kill her. To stop her from cleansing the eitherium. She'd have frequent nightmares about it. Hatred refused to sleep or even eat anything in case it was poisoned. In order to ease her paranoia, she tried conducting a spell that would make her immortal... Hatred couldn't risk dying because she believed it was in her virtuous purpose to make all love disappear. After multiple months, she managed to make an elixir of immortality. She drank it which killed her minute but immediately brought her back to life. It caused her hair color to change to black and her eyes to a red hue. Now that she was immortality, there was absolutely nothing standing in her way. She conducted more spells so that her army could become stronger, faster, and easier to control. The armies against her, couldn't take it anymore. They were on the verge of giving up. It seemed like Hatred was going to win. The eitherium was going to become an utter hellhole from now on... Luckily, as Hatred planned her next attack, she was ambushed by enemy soldiers. Somehow they were able to kill Carrion and managed to get to her. Hatred didn't have her army with her and tried using her magic. Fortunately with there being more enemies against her, she was promptly knocked out and had her staff taken away from her. A couple of hours had passed and Hatred woke up with chains all around her. She was at the bottom of a well and above her were the leaders, looking down at her. They declared that this was her punishment for the crimes that she's committed. Hatred tried to argue that what she was doing was an act of good and that love was a true plague on the world. Not wanting to listen to her rambling anymore, the sealed up the well and left her there to rot..

The leaders of the other planets announced that Hatred was dead. They were lying but it was too keep the people safe and to not cause panic. Albeit, some rumors floated around saying that she wasn't actually dead.. perhaps she was still alive.. being kept somewhere.. and maybe... Just maybe.. she was planning on returning one day.

Likes:

Torture, heavy metal, red wine, writing, and "enlightening" others

Dislikes:

Love, children, making fun of her ideology, and essentially everything/everyone else in the universe

Weaknesses:

Anger; her own anger is her weakness. While she's on a rampage, she'll be too angry to realize what's happening around her.

Easy to manipulate; hatred makes it obvious what her goals are which can be taken advantage of by others.

Harm; she may be immortal but she can still have harm inflicted on her.

Ambition; Hatred will do anything it takes to get to her goal of destroying all love

Strengths:

Physical strength; she's so strong she can break your arm like a bar of twix.

Strategy; is skilled in battle strategy to know how to attack her enemy

Immortal; unfortunately she can't really die.

Pets:

Has a large hell beast of a dragon by the name of Carrion. It's a skeletal dragon that can firebreath acidic fire. He likes to tear the bones from his victims and add it to his own body in order to make himself look more fearsome and bigger.

Weapons:

Magical staff; a staff that which can perform any type of magic. Currently being occupied by the Terran royal family.

Duel swords; two swords used for the purpose of harming others

Other:

As an initiation to join her army, soldiers have masks sewn onto their faces. In her ideology they were giving themselves a new purpose so they needed a new identity.

[god-save-the-keen]

Charity Gala

Book: Bloodbound

Pairing: Adrian Raines x MC (Amy)

Warning: Fluff

Words: 1471

Prompt: Someone leave #14 of the list in my inbox and I don't know is Tumblr is broken, they deleted the question or their account but the question/request disappear. Anywhere, here it's the result!

Note: My PC is still broke so sorry I can cut the text! 🙏

Adrian Raines x mc tag list: @alesana45 @choicesfannatalie @itscassandraleig-blog @mattrodriguezmylife @bigmemesplz @perriewinklenerdie @x-kyne-x @livingpurpose @adriansbiss

Permanent list: @gardeningourmet @client-327 @desiree---1986 @dawn-1994 @violinet @darley1101 @blackcatkita @flyawayboo @drakewalker04

"I have never seen the point of these galas." Adrian commented as the limo continued steadily on their way.

"Oh trust me, I'm just as excited to be here as much as you are." Amy responded, an uncharacteristic ironic tone to her voice. Adrian lifted his brow at her and she sighed. "I'm sorry." She said after a small pause.

"It's still early, if you would like, you can stay." Adrian pointed out, in a calm manner, he didn't want her to feel pressured to accompany him, after all it was weird that Amy was this irritated.

"I don't know…" She bit her bottom lip. "It's just… I'm so nervous"

"Everything is going to be okay, love."

"It won't." Amy turned her gaze towards Adrian again, her eyebrow furrowed with concern and her eyes sad. "The people at these kind of events always look at me like I'm the secretary of the moment that you are just fooling around with." She redirected her eyes to the limo's window, resting her chin on her palm. "I hate that look."

"But you know that none of it is true" He took her hand in his and kissed her knuckles.

"I know." She said sadly. "I just want to enjoy a night out with you without being judged."

He got closer to her, taking her waist as she looked at him. "I promise you that that is exactly what is going to happen. And if you aren't enjoying yourself, I leave the donation and we return home."

She placed her hand on his cheek, a sweet smile on her lips as she observed him. "I love when you call it 'home'." They had been living together for a few weeks in an apartment overlooking Central Park and, since the first night they had shared together in it, Adrian started to call it home instead of 'the penthouse' like he used to, melting Amy's heart with happiness. He pressed his forehead against hers, smiling as her soft perfume filled his lungs and his hand tightened his hold. Before either of them could say anything else, the limo stopped in front of a luxury hotel. Outside were some photographers taking pictures of the couples on the red carpet as they arrived and Amy looked at them uncertainty.

Adrian gently kissed her, without rushing, opened the door getting out of the limo and offering her his hand to help her out. She took it, smiling and lacing their fingers together while she stood up next to him as her soft silver dress sparkled under the flashing cameras. It was a huge charity gala for Australian Firemen and their work, celebrities were everywhere, Avery Wilshire and his girlfriend Candece Dorian, Cassandra Leigh, Victoria Fontaine, Chris Winters among the business men and woman, politicians, designers and rich people in general, Matt and Jessica Rodriguez were the hostess for the night and Cordonia's royalty had donate a beautiful diamond necklace to be auctioned.

They posed for a moment, Adrian's arm around her waist and her hand on his shoulder as he pulled her closer, his lips brushing her ear for a moment, smiling, while he whispered to her "You look gorgeous." She turned her head and smiled at him, forgetting the camaras, the people, everything around them except him.

Hand in hand, they went inside. Adrian took two champagne glasses from a passing waitress and handed one to Amy. Her eyes widened at the luxury around her, even after all the time she had been with Adrian, as his employee and his girlfriend, sometimes it was still hard for her to get used to this kind of life, surrender of money, opulence and glamorous but fake people. They drank, Adrian's hand on her waist, as they milled around the salon, quietly chatting, laughing, observing photos of animals and the fires in Australia as people started to approach to talk with him about business.

A skeletal arm took Amy's as Adrian continued his conversation and she found herself being dragged towards the bar by Amanda Lexington, the size zero wife of an important CEO of NY, although Amy wasn't sure which one.

"Amy! It's always a pleasure to see you at these kind of events!" Her tone pretended to be affectionate as her little black eyes only convey coldness.

"Hi Amanda" Amy answered trying to sound calm and confident.

"You know, the other day we were talking about you with John" She said grabbing a glass of expensive wine and setting her gaze on her.

"Oh?" She sipped her champagne.

"It's great that you two are still together!" Her lips curled in a cynical smile.

"And why wouldn't we still be together?" Her hand squeezing the glass a little bit, she wasn't sure if she was annoyed, angry or sad with this conversation but she definitely wasn't happy.

"Oh! For no reason my dear, just you know how the CEO's are! Always want to play with the latest toy." Amanda drank her wine as her eyes assess Amy's reaction. "Especially with the secretaries."

"I--" Her voice was trembling, every fiber of her body hating her words, even if she knew that Adrian wasn't like that, that he loved her, Amanda Lexington always knew how to push her buttons.

"But I'm not saying it's going to happen with you, my dear!" She patted Amy's arm condescendingly. "It's just that Adrian is so handsome and wealthy. He doesn't seem like the kind of guy that just settles down with someone… well, like you." The glass she was holding shattered in her hand as champagne, glass and a few drops of blood fell on the floor.

"Amy" Adrian was beside her, he took her hand in his but the wound had already healed. Amy continued observing Amanda, her eyes angry as she took another sip of wine. "Is everything okay, love?"

"Yes." She responded stoically, still watching Amanda like she wanted to drain her whole blood supply from her tiny body. Adrian took her waist, smiling politely even when the warmth of his sweet blue eyes had completely disappeared.

"Amanda, even though your company is always…" He made a little pause and narrowed his eyes, his tone full of sarcasm in the next few words. "... A pleasure, I must say I didn't expect to see you here today." He grabbed two glasses of champagne and handed one to Amy, kissing her cheek. "Here, love." He took a swig, his presence intense, powerful, intimidating almost dominant.

"And why it's that?"

"Well, because John is in jail for a white collar crime and lost all his financial liquidity."Adrian said and Amy turned towards him, surprised, as some other guests stopped to discreetly hear the conversation.

"You must be mistaken, Adrian!" She said loudly enough for the people around them to hear her while her face was pale and her eyes grew wider with horror. "John is in London, on a business trip."

"My apologies, I must have received the call from Nassau County Jail from another John Lexington." A satisfied smirk on his face as some people in the crowd started to whisper. "Ready to head out?" He asked Amy as if the last five minutes had never happened.

"Let's go." He entwined their fingers together. "By the way Amanda… Raines Corp is looking for mail personal, give me a call, okay? You need it, I know It's not a secretary job, but you don't like those anyway."

Once outside, while they were waiting for their car, Amy crashed her mouth against Adrian, deeply kissing him as he responded with equal enthusiasm. After they separated a bit, she softly placed her hands on the lapels of his suit jacket.

"Was this suit expensive? Like, irreplaceable expensive?" He held her waist pulling her closer.

"No" He grinned.

"Good… does it have any emotional value?"

"Also no" His mouth started to kiss the hollow under her jaw.

"Great, because once we get home I'm going to rip it from your body." He chuckled before kissing her again. "The way you shut her up was amazing!"

"I heard what she was saying to you, and I know you can defend yourself, but no one is going to be disrespectful to you like that if I can avoid it." His eyes, warm blue again as always, fixed on hers.

"So… It was true that her husband called you?" She asked, getting in the limo.

"Not even close" He answered as she laughed putting her legs on his lap. "His lawyer is a colleague of mine and he may have commented about it. Are you okay?" His voice concerned and his hand softly caressing her legs.

"As long as I have you in my corner, I'm fine." She hugged his neck. "I love you, Adrian."

"I love you too, Amy"